Gay Stuff: Tips For When You’re Coming Out
Image credit: Kamran Khan from Pexels
Even in 2018, coming out is as terrifying and as big of a deal as it was decades ago. People still get thrown out of houses, ostracized by their family, or bullied relentlessly whenever they come out. It’s no wonder that a lot of people are understandably worried about coming out.
Adam4Adam blog is always here to help, so we’ve come up with 5 tips that will hopefully make your coming out — and anybody else’s coming out — as pain-free as possible.
1. Come out at your own pace
Nowadays, people come out as early as 16. There are even some cases of children younger than 10 being bullied after coming out. That doesn’t mean that you have to follow their lead. As the tragic case of Jamel Myles shows, coming out sometimes comes with dangerous repercussions. You know yourself best, and you’ll know when the right time is for you to come out.
2. It’s okay to deny if you’re not ready yet
As pointed out in our first tip, sometimes it’s just not safe to be out where you are. Sometimes coming out in your current situation might even be deadly. You shouldn’t feel guilty about denying who you are in situations like those. Your life is so much more important than satisfying the curiosity of other people.
3. Don’t out somebody else
Take the first two tips to heart whenever you meet someone you suspect is gay. Unless you’re a really close friend of theirs, you’re not privy to their home situation, and outing them may just end up endangering them rather than helping them.
If someone comes out to you and only you, don’t take it upon yourself to make them come out to other people. Just think of it as a sign of how much the person trusts you. You definitely don’t want to lose that trust by accidentally or intentionally blabbing about it to other people.
4. Make sure you have a plan B
It’s lovely and heartwarming when coming out results in you being accepted and loved by your friends and family. However, that isn’t always the case. Make sure you have a place to go to if everything goes south and your parents end up throwing you out of the house. If things get dangerous, make sure that there’s a person you can go to who can keep you safe.
5. You don’t need to come out to everyone
Recent years have seen more and more celebrities come out in spectacularly public fashion: via magazine interview like Tessa Thompson, Youtube video like Tom Daley, or music video like Haley Kiyoko. But you’re not a celebrity, and there’s no need for you to come out to every single person in the whole world. It’s okay to just come out to people you feel you can trust, whether it’s a family member or a close friend.
We hope that these tips are helpful! Do any of our Adam4Adam blog readers have any advice they can share as well? What was one piece of advice you wished you heard before you came out? Share it with us in the comments below.