Speak Out: Have You Ever Had A Rape Fantasy?

As sexual outsiders, us gay men are often more comfortable exploring sexual fetishes that the mainstream may hesitate to take part in. We celebrate BDSM at the Folsom Street Fair, and we’re more vocal about liking certain body parts people don’t usually look at, like armpits and feet.

It’s also not unusual for rape to be a fantasy that we’ve had at one time or another. A submissive or two out there has probably asked for a scenario that involves being held down and taken “against their will”. And how many times have we had dirty talk that involved our partners saying that they’re going to “rape” our hole or asking if we liked getting “raped”?

Of course, all of this comes with the caveat that this type of rough play happens between two consenting adults. It’s the fine line that distinguishes actual rape from a rape fantasy. Anything that happens in a fantasy rape scenario during BDSM play has been probably planned and talked through by its participants. Anything that happens, the two participants had to consent to.

It’s really important to emphasize the consent aspect of this kind of play especially considering the statistics surrounding sexual assault in the gay community. Twenty-six percent of gay men and 37 percent of bisexual men experience rape, physical violence, or stalking by an intimate partner, compared to 29 percent of heterosexual men. Meanwhile, 40 percent of gay men and 47 percent of bisexual men have experienced sexual violence other than rape, compared to 21 percent of heterosexual men.

if you or someone you know is a victim of rape or assault, call the 24/7 National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1-800-656-4673.

Having said all that, we’d like to know if any of you guys ever had a rape fantasy. What did it entail? What is it that you find hot about it? Share your thoughts with us in the comments section below.

There are 45 comments

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  1. Bondye

    Everyone has had that fantasy not many know how to properly bring it to reality. Yet, if you are a master of sexual practices like tantra its easily executed. Whilst role playing is my favorite fetish, I have made a lot of memeroable experiences over the years, especially thanks to adam.

  2. Faggot jim

    I have had a rape fantasy for years I am a submissive male and the the thought of the pre planned yet unexpected kidnapping so to speak then being used for the sexual desires and pleasures of the attacker ( better yet ) attackers Plural. my fantasy involves more than one dominate male and several different sceniros… love for them to actually happen sometime.

  3. XManNumberOne

    Not necessarily a rape fantasy, but my fantasy as a black male is to be gangbang by a group of hung, white guys. The most I’ve done remotely close to it is suck off 2 white guys in a mall restroom

  4. Gregg

    I have fantasized a group of guys taking me into a woods, tying me up eagle spread, cutting my clothes off and using me like a boy toy, playing with my body, sucking my dick, playing with my balls and nipples and “force” shaving my pits and pubes. Then they take turns on me fucking both my mouth and ass and blowing their loads all over me.

  5. Indigo

    I’ve certainly had such fantasies and have indulged on occasion. However, I do caution anyone doing this anonymously. I met a guy who came off as fairly normal but who just happened to have the same interest in rape fantasy but as the dominant player. We had some fun for the first hour or so but then things turned violent. I won’t go into details but he turned out to be a serial rapist of young males. Our encounter ended with him telling me not to say a word to anyone and he scared me enough that I kept silent. 5 yrs later the FBI came to my door and questioned me about the encounter and had photos of what had transpired, he had videotaped the whole thing and photocopied my DL and kept a journal to track his victims. Over that 5 yrs he’d progressed from kidnapping and rape to brutally murdering 6 young men and hiding their mutilated bodies throughout Tampa Bay.
    I believe everyone should acknowledge and experience their fantasies as long as it’s safe, consenting, and with someone you trust. Just beware how far your fantasies can take you into the dark side.

    • bob

      oh my Lord, how horrible for you. Thank goodness you are ok. Those poor men in Tampa, that is just horrific. Thank goodness you are ok but to have had this all happen, terrible.

    • lucky

      INDIGO….I know exactly who you are talking about.
      My “date” with this individual ended very early because I got a sudden sick feeling in my gut about him.
      Intuition or instinct?
      Regardless, any rape fantasy I may have had ended as soon as I (we) heard about this guy’s homocidal acts.

  6. 8inbottom925

    Hell yes i have. I have this fantasy where im walking somewhere and an older (clean of course std and drug free) man pulls up to me asking for directions. I tell him ill show him and get in. Thats when he drives a little bit to a secluded area and just whips out and makes me suck him til hes hard. Then he tells me that hell out me if i dont get in the backseat and let him rim and fuck me… Which i happily oblige to lol

  7. Oden86

    When I was younger and less experienced I fantasized about being taken and forced. I think because since gay sex had been taboo for so long, if someone forced it in me I’d have no choice. Now that I’m older I don’t fantasized about it much. But I do like steamy homo erotic stories involving Stockholm Syndrome.

  8. 2pack

    This is one thing that gets me curious. That fine line between pleasure and pain couldn’t be more obscured more than the thought of being raped but in a pleasure way? Its an instant boner for me. But don’t know how it would play out practically. Never done it but definitely thought of it. Would be fun to be on both sides of the end.. any one around the bay.. let me know. 2pack on a4a

  9. Randy

    Yes, I’ve had a fantasy of being raped in prison by a big rough musclar looking guy with dark brown hair and the brightest blue eyes that has a close trimmed beard and has a long and huge cock!! The thing is, I don’t want to go to prison!

  10. Hunter0005

    “Actual rape” is physical and psychological harm and/or abuse that is committed against an unwilling victim. An act that is horrific.

    “Rape fantasy” is rough sex between consenting adults where a very willing participant plays the role of a victim. There may be certain uncustomary levels of physical harm and psychological taunting that are generally considered acceptable to participants. An act that is pleasurable.

    Perhaps as a matter of respect to actual rape victims, the word “rape” should be left out of discussions about rough sex.

  11. Jeff

    Rape is a violent crime. It has nothing, NOTHING to do with sex. I don’t care if an individual wants to use this “fantasy” as the basis for exploring new territory.

    For one to want to fantasize about a violent crime is a sign of a serious mental disorder. Sexual gratification at the expense of another person or putting oneself in the position of being the one who is violated has layer upon layer of mental problems. Anyone who thinks that this violence is exciting should be going to therapy and should speak to a rape victim and find out just how horrific this CRIME really is for a true victim.

  12. Kirt28202

    Not into such violent behavior. Can’t stand to see movies or hear about a woman going through that and don’t want to hear about a man that has a fantasy about it. When I see ads about wanting a rape scene, that tells me that person has a warped and violent mind.

  13. Sean

    Wow… mine was always been a fantasy and always wanted to play it. Im a black guy so…..Basically two white guys fight over who wants to fuck me. They take turns and literally grab each other off my ass to get in there. Of course with a condom on. Moreso it would be like a couple or married couple.

  14. ImASurvivor

    I am a rape victim, I was raped by one of my father’s friends as a teenager and it took me a long time to trust men again and I still have panic attacks from time to time. That being said, I still have rape fantasies, but I know them for what they are, strictly fantasies. I would caution anyone out there seeking to fulfill this fantasy to be very careful, especially if you’re posting on stuff like Craigslist for strangers as you might get more than your asking for. Be careful guys.

  15. Bobblj

    I have a friend that texted me one morning. He wanted me to come rape him. I was 4 hours away and couldn’t do it
    But hopefully soon

  16. ready2meet20002

    I used to have this jail rape fantasy that I would play over and over in my head. Well unfortunately I ended up on the wrong side of the bars some 20 years ago and found out that rape is real. I wont go into the details but to say that one of the 4 guys told me if I didn’t give them head he would jump off the top bunk on my chest. (He was in jail for triple murder) After the night that they raped me I got moved from that cellblock. I pressed charges and had to relive the entire scene in front of an entire court room 3 times. They were all convicted. About 2 years ago I happened to be in the same place as one of the guys, It was quite an nerve racking experience. The only thing he asked me to do was to send a letter to the courts to tell them I approved of having the sexual predator label removed from him which I did. Needless to say My rape fantasies have been quelled since then.

  17. John

    I travel from time to time with work and my fantasy is that sitting in the lounge having a beer or 2 and a guy strikes up a conversation, in the conversation we mention our room numbers and as I pay my tab to head to my room I unknowingly drop my spare room key which I keep in my wallet, the guy see it and picks it up as I leave.
    Later that night while I am asleep (I sleep in the nude) the guy comes to my room with 2 friends and seek in, finding me sprawling across my bed naked 2 guys grab my arms and the 3rd forces me to suck his cock, getting him hard and all wet.
    The 3 flip me onto my stomach while the first guy gets behind me and eases his hard cock into me while the other 2 take turns raping my mouth and throat then they all take turns fucking my mouth and all finishing in my ass.

    This will never happen though because stds and the real dangers that could come from it but I do stroke to thoughts quite often.

  18. Jay

    I’ve been assaulted as a child by a cousin. He was maybe 14 and I was about 4-5 years old. He continued over the years and ended up locked up by another victim’s account but he’s already out. I didn’t have control then and definitely wasn’t mature enough to comprehend sex.

    When I was maybe 30, I had a 20 year old deep voiced redneck type force himself onto me in a dominant and sudden way but it was totally hot. We were on the bed fully clothed just having normal conversation and when I turned on my stomach he rubbed my butt then yanked my pants down. He yanked my pants down with one arm pushed across my back. He spit on his dick and never even paused while I kept saying “no wait.” My ass was clenched but his dig was strong and I gave in. At first my mind flashed back to my childhood and I was just thinking let him finish. Then I was kinda mad at myself for not being in control. That look of total desire and I’m gonna finish in his eye became the turn on so then I just gave in and got with the program. We both finished nearly at the same time. He apologized for being rough and asked did he just rape me. I said well I told you no but you weren’t stopping at all. The feeling was great. The familiar soreness of having your rear ravaged but being sexually mature enough to enjoy it was all the difference. I think he just turned 29 though and I stopped having sex with him for personal reasons a few years ago and he says he’s not interested in being friends anymore for a few other reasons.

    I couldn’t imagine just the random bust in and this happening in an anonymous way though. That’s a little too scary. I enjoyed reading everyone else’s stuff though.

  19. Terry

    I do fantasize about being the recipient of a gangbang, although it isn’t rape. I am a very willing participant.
    Under the right, safe circumstances, I would be willing to play out this fantasy but, no, I don’t fantasize about being raped. Was raped once and was infected with HIV. Nothing pleasurable about rape.

  20. Dan

    I fantasize about me going to a friend’s house to give him a casual bj and then off to work. When I get there he puts a blindfold on me and I start sucking. Nextthing I know someone else (at least one other) is in the room grabbing me, pulling me to the kitchen ta le and lays me face down across the table. He ties my ankles to tje table legs and my hands to the table legs on the other side. Then a cock gets shoved in my mouth, then someone starts rimming and playing with my ass. Then a cock is shoved in me deep. I am made to take it in both holes at once and soon I am tasting the cum shoot down my throat. At this point they switch positions (or swap partners) and proceed untill I get another load down my throat as I feel a huge load fill my ass. Then untied and told not to take blindfold off until I hear a car drive away and my friend is heard in the shower. Then I go to work and still wonder how many just had their way with mem

  21. hotnjbottom

    I totally have rape fantasies. It’s all about the thrill of completely losing control and being dominated. I’ve acted them out too — some planned with BDSM type people, and some more spontaneous where I’ve had a sex date or group sex that got “rapey” especially like a gangbang or at a sex party. I’m sorry if it offends anyone but it’s unbelievably fun when I’m over-powered and forced. I love it.

  22. Bernard

    I did.

    But I was afraid to admit it. One day I wanted my friend to give me xanax and fuck me while I was in a sedative dreamland. He looked at me weird and I shyly said “Never mind”.

    Thats it. Maybe it was a phase?

    • Steve

      Funny that you mention the xanax part because that was how my first encounter went from consensual to rape. I was 14 and he was 16 l, it was a school day and we both dictched achool and went to my house to smoke sum bud and when we were there myf riend mentioned the great feeling of euphoria having recently taken it. I was curious but i knew where my mom kept her’ we each took 3mg which is a hell of alot for a beginner. Needless to say, within 20 mins we were both sedated talkin abojt blowjobs and how we both wanted ine. So he agreed to suck mine if I sucked his in return. I dont remember much but I do recall how big and nice his cock was and how well he sucked dick for a newbie. After my turn, he asked if I wanted to try anal…so we go upstairs undress and lie flat in the bed. He crawls in top of me with his cock hard and just then the phone rings, my mom gotta call from the school about my unexcused she called me threathening to come home if I didn’t get backto school. Still have no idea how we got back to school. But i had a girlfriend at the time so it was awkward for the first week or so. Now we laugh about it.

      • Steve

        The point was what started out as a harmless bj quickly escalated after we went upstairs. He got very aggressive pulling my pamrs down forcefully pushin me on the bed crawling in top of me naked spreading my kegs with his strong legs. However, before he could penetrate me the phone rang. As bad as I wanted him to do it I was kinda relieved.

  23. Nj

    I’ve experienced that on Fire Island in the meat rack. Lost on the trails, supposedly being lead the way by some very hung guy. Guess what, that trail dead ended. I was forced to submit my holes. He wore a condom but it was still quite surreal. Honestly I wasn’t afraid, but it was very unexpected. Be careful in the rack at night

  24. Jon

    I have always had the fantasy of walking into an unknown bar. I, a white guy, walk into this packed bar and head to the bar to get a drink. Only then I realize I am the only white guy in a sea of black men. I look to the door in time to see someone locking the front door. I am used by everyone in the bar all of the planting their seed either in my mouth or ass. I get hard thinking about it.

  25. akckinkybtm

    I’ve had this fantasy and have done some role play with it as well. But always with guys I know and I’ve played with before, they know that I enjoy the unplanned, unexpected sex…where they know they don’t need to ask me, they can just grab me and fuck me. And they know I’d be interested in the “gangrape” scene as well. I think that if someone unknown to me grabbed me and started to fuck me forcefully, as long as it wasn’t too violent, I might end up enjoying it. There is the saying, “you can’t rape the willing” and maybe I’m too willing. But I also understand that true rape is never desirable and for the rapist, it’s not really about sex. It is best that it stay in the fantasy or role playing between consenting adults arenas. The people I know who were truly raped (or molested as kids) have other issues that follow them the rest of their lives. They may think they are OK with things, but in reality, they aren’t and they just don’t realize it. (In my opinion…and that’s only with the people I know. I’m sure there are some that have dealt with it properly.)

  26. Steve

    I’m wondering what psychologists would say about this fantasy. I bet the majority of us with that fantasy have at some point in our lives, been abused sexually, in one way or another. The reason I bring this up is because I was 9 when my uncle touched me in the shower and I was to young to know the difference between consensual sex and rape. I knew it was wrong but I also was trippin cuz I enjoyed it. Except for the pain I still think about that time and I know it’s impacted me on more than one level because I also tend to be attracted to bears because he was a hairy masculine italian man, perverted.

  27. Sky

    I have a buddy who flies into town every so often for work. He does jujitsu, and so every time he’s in town we clear the furniture out of the way in his hotel room lay the mattress on the floor and wrestle. We start off in our underwear, but as we pin each other down we force them off and bury our faces into crotches and armpits.
    We’re both tops. He’s voiced the interest in getting topped, just to try it with me, but we’ve attempted, and it’s not possible I’m not be able to fit. For me, I’ve often envied the expressions I can make on other guys. I’ve bottoming before … I don’t like it. I went out and got one of those dildo/vibrator things thinking with more practice that it’d get better over time. It didn’t. It’s not something I enjoy or can get used to. I’ve even been in a decently long relationship with another top, and because it was a relationship I agreed to take turns bottoming, but I dreaded whenever it was my turn. Thankfully we were open and were also able to get each other off other ways and so when it ended, it was mostly over other circumstances.
    Never in my life have I experienced rape or sexual violence, and I say all this to express that realistically, I would in no way enjoy being anally raped. However, the THREAT of being anally exploited does turn me on. When we wrestle, pin each other, spit in each other’s mouths and slam each other’s faces into the mat we goad and taunt and threaten to rape. And when we’re drenching with sweat, battered and sore and gasping for breath, the threat of the member that’s getting ever closer, sliding up the leg, between the thighs and to the cheeks .. the threat that’ll never actually happen .. gets us off.

  28. logchain

    RAPED—TAKEN—HUMBLED— I have had seXXXual threats from numerous pals–some cyber, some REAL— about my being forced—made helpless with devices— cuffs, ropes, chains, slings, furniture— and made to submit, suffer seXXXualizations never before considered— because of my body, my low hanger BULL BALLS—my stiff pink gumdrop sized nips— and I have always been IN CHARGE. BUT I do have a “streak” of willingness to try things—to be controlled—to allow myself to be coerced…to be seduced…

  29. Dave

    Mine was more than just a fantasy. I was a skinny 18 year old straight kid, back in the early eighties, hitch hiking in the UP, Michigan, in the dead of winter, long after dark, in the middle of nowhere. I was freezing so I was grateful when an older guy stopped and picked me up. We made small talk and then he asks if I’d mind if he stopped at a liquor store along the way. I said “sure”. He came back out with some mint Schnapps, jumped back in the car and off we went. He opened it up, took a drink and handed it to me. I wasn’t much of a drinker, so it didn’t take much to get me drunk. A few minutes later, he pulled off onto a deserted side road as I’m thinking, “Where the F**k are we going??” Like I said, we’re out in the middle of nowhere, it’s freezing cold and there’s no where to run and now I’m thinking, “oh sh*t!” He stops, puts it in park and is making small talk. Then he asks if I’d ever been with a man. I said “no, I’m not that way.” By this time, I’ve had too much to drink and even if I were sober, I couldn’t fight this guy off if my life depended on it. He was way bigger than me! I’m looking out the window, wondering what my chances are, if I took off running and when I turn back around, he has his cock out. Before I could say anything, he grabbed my head and shoved it into his lap. I’m too drunk to fight back much so it didn’t take much for him to get his fat cock in my mouth. I tried to fight back for about ten seconds and when I got a good taste of his huge dick, I thought, “this isn’t that bad….” It felt really strange to have a man’s cock in my mouth. It was really hard with soft skin on the outside and had a strange musky taste. After less than a minute, I relaxed and just started sucking, like he asked. His hands held my head firmly while he slowly worked his dick in and out of my mouth. It was only about three inches long, but fat enough to make my jaw ache after a few minutes. After a few minutes he asked me to take my pants down and when I did, he reached over and started playing with my cock, by now it was already hard. He stroked me slowly while I sucked on his engorged penis. I never considered myself gay, but I was thinking I could get used to this! He pulled my head away from his cock and had me lean back while he took my cock in his mouth. I thought “OMG THIS FEELS GOOD!!”
    We sucked each other off for almost an hour and I finally got a point that I couldn’t stop myself from cumming in his mouth. I blew a huge load in his face and he swallowed ever drop of it. He asked me to let him fuck me, but his cock was so fat, I was afraid he’d tear me open. He grabbed my head again and shoved his fat dick back in my mouth. He face-fucked me for a few more minutes and I felt his hands tighten up on my head and the head of his cock felt like it was getting bigger. Finally I felt him start squirting jizz in my mouth and he was grunting and moaning loudly, fucking my mouth as hard as he could. When he was done shooting sperm, my mouth was really full. I didn’t want to swallow it so I opened the door and spit it on the ground.
    That wasn’t the last time I saw this guy, he became my regular ride home for the rest of that winter and I eventually let him fuck me and don’t regret it to this day! The night started out scary but that rape turned into a great relationship and I couldn’t get enough of him. The next time we got together, I swallowed every drop of his jizz and I swallowed a whole lot more of him before the end of the winter! I moved away but I’ve stayed in contact with him over the years. I’d really love to go back and have sex with him again.

  30. bb98104

    the closest i came to forced anal? i was at a 24 hr bookstore and i had these white shorts on i picked out a tape to watch inside my booth. i would leave a note in my backpack saying i wanted to be blackmailed into giving up my ass. i made sure that note would be seen nothing happened i came back with lube i was watching my tape i took my shorts off. their is a violation that no one leaves fluids on the floor i was jerking off and the door was unlocked i stood up and turn away hiding my dick and showing my bubble butt and he said i can’t have that here and they had a camera he took my shorts and came up behind me and squeezed my soft ass cheeks and i teared up thank god for the booze i drank.he left there alone when he came back and had leather hand cuffs and made me kneel in the seat and tied me then he stuck his tongue up my ass i struggled against the cuffs forced his hard cock up my tight ass i cried out every time he forced his hard cock up my ass the door was left open other guys were watching me and then this clerk rammed his cock as hard and deep as he could i cried out and begged him to pull out but he came deep inside of me the guys outside came in as that cruel clerk left me and then i had a another forced cock up my ass and i had cock put in my mouth and my cries were muffled then my mouth filled with sour fluid i gagged and cum dribbled out of my mouth then i was being bitten on my back arching my painful ass as he fucked me deep cumming . i was untied my shorts was given to me and a rag my ass was sore and thought i was bleeding what was streaming down my leg it was cum i went back there about a year later this was Chicago the clerk read my note so i asked for it and i was modified having my ass stretch in front of a group was embarrassing so watch out for fantasy it can get to real i’m bi and the last time i let a cock up my ass was about five years ago

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