Speak Out: Have You Ever Had A Rape Fantasy?
As sexual outsiders, us gay men are often more comfortable exploring sexual fetishes that the mainstream may hesitate to take part in. We celebrate BDSM at the Folsom Street Fair, and we’re more vocal about liking certain body parts people don’t usually look at, like armpits and feet.
It’s also not unusual for rape to be a fantasy that we’ve had at one time or another. A submissive or two out there has probably asked for a scenario that involves being held down and taken “against their will”. And how many times have we had dirty talk that involved our partners saying that they’re going to “rape” our hole or asking if we liked getting “raped”?
Of course, all of this comes with the caveat that this type of rough play happens between two consenting adults. It’s the fine line that distinguishes actual rape from a rape fantasy. Anything that happens in a fantasy rape scenario during BDSM play has been probably planned and talked through by its participants. Anything that happens, the two participants had to consent to.
It’s really important to emphasize the consent aspect of this kind of play especially considering the statistics surrounding sexual assault in the gay community. Twenty-six percent of gay men and 37 percent of bisexual men experience rape, physical violence, or stalking by an intimate partner, compared to 29 percent of heterosexual men. Meanwhile, 40 percent of gay men and 47 percent of bisexual men have experienced sexual violence other than rape, compared to 21 percent of heterosexual men.
if you or someone you know is a victim of rape or assault, call the 24/7 National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1-800-656-4673.
Having said all that, we’d like to know if any of you guys ever had a rape fantasy. What did it entail? What is it that you find hot about it? Share your thoughts with us in the comments section below.