Speak Out: Would You Have Sex With Your Straight-Curious Friend?

We’ve all got that one friend.

You can’t really place where exactly he is on the Kinsey Scale. You assume he’s straight, because you’ve never seen him out with a guy. But you’ve also never seen him go out with a girl either. And then there are those curious things he does that makes you think he may be gay-curious. Or bi-curious.

Like how he always has questions about gay sex when he’s with you, but he never asks them when there are other people around. He also listens attentively when you talk about your dates and hook-ups, and doesn’t seem fazed when you go into graphic detail. And there’s that one sex act that he keeps bringing up when he’s alone with you.

Of course, it could really just be curiosity on his part. But it could be that he’s inching his way out of the closet as well. And you certainly don’t want to push, if you’re an out gay man, because you know how hard it is and that people come out at their own time.

But what if the time comes and he gives you that look. You know the one. What if he approaches you shyly, and asks you to help satisfy his curiosity? What if he asks you to actually have sex with him so he can stop asking himself whether he’s gay or not?

Would you be willing to risk this huge change in your friendship? Or would you you politely refuse and direct him to someone else? What would actually push you to say yes? Going even further, has this ever happened to you before? Did you say yes? What happened afterwards? Share your thought and stories with us in the comments section below.

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  1. Bkl83

    No, it would be weird and complicate our relationship. Don’t know why the gay community feels so obsessed with bedding “straight” men. There are plenty of good gay guys, but they’re passed over and treated like shit.

    • Spike

      Agreed. If I barely knew them as a friend – more like an acquaintance – then that’s different. But I have respect for my friends and value who they are to me as such. Honestly, unless that person expressed that they had feelings for me, such that it might be the start of a relationship (not just a roll in the hay), then I’d actually be somewhat put-off by it. It implies that my friend doesn’t is more concerned about satiating their curiosity and/or libido than maintaining our friendship. Having had sex with one another would permanently complicate things, and possibly result in the dissolution of our friendship.

    • Marlon B

      Maybe if they weren’t so Nelly. I sleep with str8 guys and wait it out instead of bedding another gym buff queen.

  2. Iltsdab

    Absolutely…I’ve been bold before and yrusyed my instincts and was pleasantly surprised. We ended up in bed many times…all on the dl…but i had a great time and glad i didn’t miss the opportunity.

  3. Paul

    Been there – done that. One Night my straight friend fell asleep in his briefs on my couch with a big hard on. I went over, reached in and sucked him, he woke up smiled and proceeded to suck me- You never know

  4. Jay

    This happens all the time. A lot of guys in their 20s just love exploring. I’m 37 now but when I was an early 20 something quite a few of my straight friends allowed oral sex or did me. Pools seem to be part of the magic. I was at my friend’s apartment complex pool and after all the fun and beer I ended up with legs up for him (8″) and his neighbor (9″). They both had girlfriends. Magic moment was coming up for air in the pool and seeing the neighbor on a tube spread eagle in wet nylon shorts right in front of me. I looked at my friend and we all gave lets do this faces. My friend is now married with 1 child. Ahem still “straight.”

    About a year later I lived in Miami and had roommates in a house with a pool. I had my latino straight friends over for a pool party. It was going great and I had cool gay guy status or something. I take a Chilean friend into my room to find him some swim shorts. I turned away and he put them on right there in front of me. He asked if they were too tight and I said no you look great but I kept staring at his bulge (thick 8″) and butt. He dropped his pants, we made out, then I’m bent over the bed looking at the clock. It was a 3 minute finish but completely hot. He proceeded to the party like nothing happened. He’s married with 4 kids now. His not at the time wife was at the party too.

    I’ve had some less proud encounters as well such as sucking off a supervisor in the security room and about a hour later seeing him off to lunch with his pregnant wife and kids. I’m a rideshare driver now and about once a month have encounters with the late night or weekend crowd. So far no gays have reciprocated but these curious straight men love opportunity and convenience.

  5. andy

    heck yes, my bud has a tight muscled body, is totally a great guy, hung like a horse,thick uncut, great butt,and as long as it would not injure our friendship in a heart beat

  6. Jon

    As a bi curious, now bi guy I guess, I have had several gay open friends. Growing up and figuring out my bi-ness, I experimented with a bi-curious friend. It was great and fun and didn’t ruin our friendship, we are still very good friends, without the benefits, to this day. It was easy with him because we were very close. I was never super close with my gay friends, so though I may have wanted to experiment with them, I never felt comfortable coming out to them. I did get turned on hearing about their sex-ploits, especially with “straight” guys, and I know one, if not two of them would have had sex with me. I do wish I would have hinted (more) that I was curious to them, because I’m sure it would have been better with them than my other curious friend and I don’t think it would have ruined our friendship, but made us closer.

  7. Thug

    Isn’t it about time to put these tired, old, homophobic categories to bed? Isn’t there a huge cognitive disconnect that allows you to simultaneously talk about Kinsey while sill promoting the same need to neatly categorize people into the hateful little straight/gay binary?

    Is it possible the reason no definitive gay gene has been found is because there isn’t one. Could the need to categorize people by their sexual preferences be nothing other than the needs of denial, projection, distancing, fearing, rejecting, transferring, etc.? Is it possible the need to categorize people by what turns them on is nothing more than a cultural artifact that describes no underlying biological reality whatsoever?

    Does one really “come out of a closet” or does one heal themselves and triumph over a pernicious and all too often lethal form of child abuse and it’s resulting developmental carnage arising from raising children in a “cage” with bars of hatred, violence, ridicule, and abandonment?

    It’s long, long, long, past time for some new paradigms that don’t reinforce the hate.
    Please work on it.

  8. Adam

    Yea been there done that about a dozen times. They know I am gay, they want a bj, no gf around
    Life goes on and I don’t try to date them or put them
    Simply a mouth to nut it

    • Martin

      I’ve had a couple of experiences with Str8 friends that just wanted to see what it was like. One I had repeats with the other I didn’t.

  9. Hunter0500

    I do not, as a matter of ethics, solicit straight friends for sex. It’s disrespectful to hound or chase guys for sex when they present themselves as straight.

    If one of them were to approach me about man play, I’d consider it, but ONLY after we had an adult, frank discussion about the potential emotional aspects involved. We’d also have to discuss “status” and STDs (for certain I’d advise him about those as a matter of my experience and his perhaps playing with guys down the road. Hell, he’s a friend. I’d be remiss I let him miss the needed learning opportunity.) This whole conversation wouldn’t take more than a few minutes and may actually help get the fun rolling.

    But the real issue here is … if a “straight” friend tells you he’s “curious”, he’s NOT fully “straight”. He’s living that life because it’s how it unfolded for him. Gay guys get all boastful when they “get a straight”. Bullshit … they got a guy somewhere in there he middle of the sexual spectrum, not at the straight end of it.

  10. Brian

    I have a coworker / friend who makes or comments that have me questioning him. I am very attracted to him and feel like I could have more feelings for him. So with that in mind, I haven’t or wouldn’t have sex with him. My sex with him would be to emotional for me, considering when I look at him, I want to kiss him. It’s better not to go there.

    • Bedlampgh

      Not necessarily. There is such a thing as gender fluidity. And don’t count out bisexuality. It is real and not a myth or people being sexual opportunists. And then there are the genuinely curious heterosexual. Man on man sex is not the definition of gay. It’s simply just another form of sex within humanity. It does not define ones sexuality.

      • Dr Sex Therapy

        Right on, BEDLAMPGH! We mental health professional do not see ‘sexual orientation’ as binary (two polar opposite possibilities) but rather on a spectrum (infinite possibilities) and is associated with affectionality (with whom do you prefer to have long-term intimate relationships), NOT the gender with whom you are having sex. Yes, there are many men who are gay and married to women, but they do so involuntarily due to societal and familial pressures. When we observe men having sex with men, it is impossible for us to know where they are on the sexual orientation spectrum, thus reinforcing the notion that we should refrain from judgment and accept a person’s self-determined label regardless of our own prejudices.

    • BryBry

      If you have sex with a man, you’re gay? Really?

      How about “if you have sex with a woman, you’re gay”?
      One time does not prove anything for sure, either way.

  11. Bob

    Yes I would for sure. I would allow him to do anything he would like to do to me and I would do any thing that he may want me to do to him.. I not I am safe and I would be the one whom would feel guilty if he was endangered by someone I do not know.. Besides we already have slept together in the same bed when traveling, and several times camping by spooning for warmth.

  12. John

    Yes I would and I have. Several of my friends have let me go down on them. Had one friend that was married and spent more time at my house than at home. Even drove 2 hours to come get me to go see his new place. Wife was asleep in the living so I slept with him in his bed. Next morning the wife asked “How did you get here? I said, Scott came and got me last night.” Best sex ever. The thrill of his wife in the next room and him and I fucking in the other.

  13. Bibottomn301

    I have has both experiences I have two best friends neither of the know each other probably my best bestie lives I Hawaii, Anyway to keep this short, my best bestie and I have known eachother for quite a while, we were both stationed in the Navy together and have been following each other in some of the same duty stations. During our be stationed, I stayed at his apartment before I headed out to the Indian Ocean, but at this time we were in Virginia beach, he would get up in the mornings and he would have nothing on. he had the prettiest thick long dark piece of meat and I had always wanted him since we met, tall 6’5″ muscular, darkskinned and handsome. Anyway he was going to San Diego as I as going to the Indian Ocean (small island that I wont name) anyway left there after a year and went to Hawaii, he left san diego and came to Hawaii, strange because his tour was for 3 years, Long story short we became roommates, Like I always wanted him, but never went for it, BTW I did come out to him a long time ago, well he kept up walking around our room butt ass naked, he finally kept makin those curious questions, didn’t help that I use to tell him that the guys I messed around with were tops and he asked me if I liked getting fucked, all the while he is really sitting there kinda rubbing his crotch, I was like ok I will play along with this game cause I really wanted that big black cock, well I was like fuck it I’m going for it, Now I’m watch you call an aggressive bottom, I pushed him back on his bed knelt down between his legs, I could see him getting hard right in front of me, I’m a firm believer that a hard dick is a terrible thing to waste, I unzipped his pants and had that big gorgeous black cock in my throat before he could say anything. He must had been holding that load of cummm for a while, I sucked him as he was ready to cumm id stop and pushed his legs back and ate his ass for a couple of minutes, sucked him stopped, this went on for a lil while until his dick started to go limp, that’s when I took him all the way in my throat and milked that big black back to full attention and he unleashed the the biggest load of cum down my throat, (I’m a greedy bitch to this always works) he was still rock hard and since a hard dick is a terrible thing to wasted, he got me on the edge of the bed Ass up Face down and fucked me just the way I loved to be fucked, slow easy and sensual until I begged him to roll me over and bang my ass like a screen door on a submarine, (no pun intended), at this point he couldn’t get enough of this ass, and to this day years later when he comes from Hawaii to see his family he makes sure he feeds and breeds me,

    The second best friend well he made sure that I knew he wanted to fuck me. He was the finest white guy I have ever seen, He and his wife (black) were both a bi couple, I knew they both were both bi, we were both stationed in New Jersey, and they used to have bi parties at their house, off base, they always wanted me to come but I told them both that they are such very good friends and I really didn’t want to damage that relationship out of respect for them both, but dayyyuuuummmm he had a big 9 – 10 inch pretty white cock that arched downward, and his wife had the nicest bubble ass, I just wanted to eat his cumm out of her pussy. But hey I had to practice restraint in order to save the friendship. but a female friend of mine went to a couple of their parties hung out, she was amazed how much dick I could take. Man I missed my years in the military.

  14. Rob

    Depends. If they were comfortable with it, then yes. No, if they were having doubts of the experience. I think it’s shitty the way some gay guys pressure straight guys into having sex with them.

  15. Damiel

    Yes, I absolutly would, I have had sex with 15 of my straight married friends. We are still good friends and 9 of my friends come back for sex every couple months. They usually let me know a few days ahead if they can come over to be with me. I always push back but they found out that I will always give in if there is plenty of making out.

  16. Robert Orozco

    Depends. If they were comfortable with it, then yes. No, if they were having doubts of the experience. I think it’s shitty the way some gay guys pressure straight guys into having sex with them.

  17. Michael

    I had one straight friend in school and I got lucky as he was always horny and didn’t care how he got off, just that he got off. He loved women and enjoy fucking their brains out but if he was in need he’d ask me to suck him off with a good long slow cum building blow job. I worked his cock and balls for 4 years before I had to move for work.

  18. Rob

    I’ve been in this situation before. It so happened to my sister’s stepson. We had been out driving around in the dirt roads, and had stopped which at the time we both used. Unbeknownst to me, he started the conversation with “I’m just curious” and asked if gay guys gave better blowjobs than a female. I said yes.

  19. william

    This sounds like a plot for one of those gay-themed movies. But the answer to that question would be yes I would play with him….if he was hot. Yes, I’m shallow, but c’mon, how many of you guys would say no especially if your friend was hot.

  20. Foreplay4Ever

    Actually, I had sex with several of my “straight” friends in the eighties…multiple times with each. The sex was great, but it really damaged with the friendship. It was from these experiences that I learned one immutable truth…if you have sex first, then become friends, the friendship is great; but , if you are friends first, and then have sex, it ruins the friendship.

  21. James

    I had this experience once. He knew I was gay and told me he always valued our friendship and that is why he’d like to ask me to be his first experience with gay sex. He had been curious for awhile and wanted to try it but was scared to go to a gay bar or somewhere else to try and pick up some random guy. Suffice to say, we both enjoyed ourselves very much and became FWB for quite awhile. It ended when he moved away. I still look on those days with fondness.

  22. Brian O

    Well yeah! If he was attractive and willing to do some experimentation and the timing was right.

    One of my best friends; Jena – her boyfriend Adam (I mean ex-bf {r.i.p.}) used to test the waters. Kissing, stroking, getting sucked on. I was one of only a few in our “circle” that he was cool with and me and the other few were very protective of him – since he used to come out with us and would get hit on by guys; plus he used to get drunk fast.

  23. Kirt28202

    If I was attracted to him, then of course, I would. Don’t want to miss out on a possible romantic relationship and life partner.

  24. J

    HELL YES I have done it with one of my friends who I suspected was (come to find out he really was) gay and it was amazing!!! I would definitely do it again with him and other bicurious guys!

  25. Lamar

    As someone on here already said, “been there and done it.” I think as someone that was once very young 20’s, something like that is to be expected to happen; and I don’t regret it, either.
    I’m not so sure I would do it today as someone who’s 56, though, its tough enough, having really close friends period in this age group. Considering the average gay crowd, I really cherish knowing hetero-men whom are even open enough, “non-threatened” respectful enough of “who” I am, aside from my sexual orientation. For him to have made the leap forward, to find the value in me as another/different aspect of “masculinity”, just another man, period, to mess all that up? That being of our mutually respectful and yes, admiration of each other? No!

  26. djandrews

    hell yes guys …. don’t be stupid about it …. they all like to experiment …. had a bi friend show me how great it was … so I love passing the gift of knowledge on … its a gift that keeps on giving

  27. Dylan

    Damn, just like this blog started out.

    My best friend since 6th grade. He was 6′ 2″ blond/blue and ripped since prob kindergarten. He was one of the first guys to use real cologne in school. He always smelled great. I’d always follow him down the hall just to be in his essence and watch his ass. I had a constant hard on throughout high school. I was head over heals in love with him from the beginning. We were alway working close fixing bikes, then cars, lawnmowers anything I could do just to brush up against him and get a whiff of him I’d do. I can not begin to tell you the amount of times I’ve rubbed every part of his body. During touch foot ball I def touched. Now in our mid 20s he marries a this gorgeous model who is like the most perfect person in the world. Perfect for him. We were at work and he was in my office. Standing behind me leaning over my desk looking at my computer I could smell him again. I kinda looked under my arm and could see his bulge (I knew he was huge growing up just never saw it but always tried). Never wanted to loose him as a friend as others have stated. I’d hate to loose his friend ship. We went out to lunch had a few drinks (4-5). Went back to my office and went back to work. He was in the same position. His coat was off. He reached across to grab a mint. I felt his cock rock hard against the back of my arm. I def moved back just a bit to feel it. With his other arm he wrapped it around my neck, leans close to my ear and whispered,” how come you’ve never made a move on me? I know you want to. If you want to expand out friendship, do what you want as he pressed his cock up agamist me. With in a mili-second I was on my knees yanking his cock out of his pants. It was thick, it was 8″, it was cut and it was perfect. I stoped and stared and it became rock solid. I couldn’t pull it down. He looked down at me and said,”you’ve been waiting for this moment. Don’t fuck it up!” I deep throated him for 2 min tops. Pushed it as deep as I could get it. He shot that load right down my throat. I was upset as I never got to really taste it. He kept his hand on my head. Rubbing the back of it while his cock was still burried. I just kept sucking it. I never wanted it to end. As he got dressed he said,”think how many of those we could have done if we both had the balls to just ask the other guy. That was awesome! I’ll def want more!!” He is my best friend and always will be. This def made us stronger. He has never done anything to me other then hold onto my cock and squeeze it. But I don’t care. I’d drop what ever I was doing to service him. He was driving his wife crazy one night and she said,”you two boys need to go camping and relax.” We made plans with in 1/2 hour. I’m bringing comdoms and lube. I’m getting him drunk and he is def gonna fuck me (well that’s my plan so far). We go next weekend. I’ll let you know how it turned out.

  28. william

    When I was in the Navy, guys openly came on to me. Sometimes in front of others. This was during the whole “don’t ask, don’t tell time” also. I was never out and never said I was gay, so everyone kept speculating. I was there to do my job and nothing more. But one really memorable time, one guy who I guess I would consider a friend really did something that shocked me and a lot of other guys. He was gonna shower and he only had a towel on. Suddenly, he opened his towel, swiveled his hips, smacking around his 8 incher and asked if I wanted it. Shocked is what everyone was, especially me. If it was just us two, I would’ve said yes, but there were about 10 other guys there, our friends. Smoking hot, white guy, perfect body, big cock and in his early 20’s. He had this big naughty grin on his face. He closed his towel, then went to shower. No one said anything for a while and we left it at that. I think about it now and I always wondered about him and that incident. If we were alone, I would say yes, I would sleep with my straight friend.

  29. Don Hohoho

    It seems like gay men either have no standards of conduct, or absurdly rigid ones.
    What I want to know is, how do you get a guy who won’t admit he’s bi or curious, who says “I’m straight” whenever you hug him, and so on.

  30. Steve

    I came close with a friend in my early 20’s . Have played with guys that have became friends. But never a friend that became a fuck buddy.

  31. Mark

    Had a long time friend, went our separate ways, he got married, 2 kids, I got married 2 kids, then bumped into each other about 15 years later at a home depot. Kept in touch, then he came out and told me he was gay and was divorced, went back to his house and one thing lead on and BAM, he was sucking my cock, and I ended up fucking the hell out of him, never cummed like that before, bred him good. We never ended up talking again, it was a bit odd at first but oh well…..

    PS why do all of these “stories” have guys with “big” dicks??

  32. Jockn2cbt

    I have, heat of the moment type thing, and now I live with this awkwardness every time I run into the guy. I tried to blow him in a hotspring, but he never came and after 40 minutes of sucking swamp water and he had to call it. He was my unobtainable fantasy and should have stayed that way. I find sex with people I know kinda ridiculous. I prefer one night stands with steamy strangers because once you know them and their flaws, the sex loses its magic for me.

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