Sexuality: Five Sex Tips For Newly Out People
Image credit: Joshua McKnight from Pexels
Whatever age you do it, coming out can both be a liberating process and a nerve-wracking and mentally exhausting one as well. If you’d like to spend a few weeks just processing it and not dealing with the more sexual side of being part of the LGBTQ community, nobody would fault you for it.
But what if you’ve had that time to reflect and you’re looking to finally go out there and experience what gay sex has to offer? You don’t want to head into it without at least some tips! If you’re too shy to ask someone about it, or live in a deeply homophobic town, don’t worry. Here are five tips we can give so your first time at gay sex goes as smoothly as it possibly can.
1. Be upfront about what you want
If it’s your first time to have sex, it’s incredibly important that you let your potential partner know what it is that you can or cannot do. You don’t want to wait until the two of you are in the bedroom before staying that you’re not ready for anal yet. Making clear what you want is going to lessen misunderstandings and also minimize the chances of you having a traumatic first time.
This is also where dating apps can be incredibly helpful. Adam4Adam’s Radar App lets you filter by “Sexual Position”, so you can at least get that out of the way even before you meet a guy face-to-face.
2. Find out how you want to clean your butt
If you’re planning on bottoming, you definitely need to find out how you’re going to clean yourself. Do you plan to douche? Or do you plan to take a dietary supplement like Amity Jack? Find out what works best for you before committing to bottoming.
3. Use condoms
Yes, leaps and bounds have been made when it comes to the fight against HIV. Yes, PrEP has brought down the number of HIV diagnoses. But HIV isn’t the only sexually-transmitted disease (STD) around. It’s going to be incredibly disheartening if you get an STD the first time you have sex, so be sure to have a condom on hand.
4. Tell your partner what you’re feeling during sex
So you’ve finally found the right guy. You’re in his bedroom and things are getting hot and heavy. But maybe his fingers are in an uncomfortable place, or you feel like your ass could use a little more lube. There’s nothing wrong with telling your partner about all of this things, even if things are getting serious in the bedroom. A good partner will want to make you feel good, and he can’t do that without some help from you.
5. It’s okay if they say no
So you’ve gathered up the courage to ask someone to have sex with you. Unfortunately, they’ve turned you down. Yes, it’s a blow to your ego, but it also isn’t the end of the world. There are a lot of cute guys out there, so dust yourself off and find another one.
Adam4Adam readers, are there any other tips you can give to newly out guys looking to have their first sexual experience? Share your advice in the comments section below!
Aren’t we mashing here being newly out with first-time sex (and there with a heavy emphasis on anal sex like it’s the one/first choice)?
Usually in posts, guys here are clear that they’ve been sexually active long befire they decide to come out. As we know from posts here, as well, many guys feel no reason to come out. These later guys choose, as is their right, to be discreet about their orientation.
Also, as guys have said in posts, sex encompasses so much more than anal, topping and especially bottoming. There are many many great sex options, thank God!
Some clarification would help here. Are we talking here about me coming out? Becoming sexually active for the first time? Or bottoming for the first time? Or some combination?
Thank you for this article.
Before you go out to a gay bar for the first time, I think just to take the edge off; might want to masturbate first, I mean, you’re “new-meat.” There are some predatorial types out there that look for victims, maybe, you should go with a trusted friend/s. You really do not know what you’re doing, so until you do…
In the event, that you and another are ‘mutually’ attracted to each other, do you know what heavy-petting once meant and still does? I mean why rush into anything, take your time, make-out or something, at that age anything will make you cum anyway, lmao. Don’t just dive-in to the risky stuff, that goes double ‘if’ you choose/desire to bottom anally; I say that because it doesn’t physically hurt to top, never has for me anyway.
You’re only going to find who/what you want with experience. So be very smart and get the best
and the healthiest aspects out of being gay and dating, one day a relationship and actual mutual love. Date and date often, just don’t loose control of you better judgement.
Not exactly relevant to the article, but just wanted to say that I love the photo of the two men at the top of this article cuddling up. If your newly out, most likely one or the other partner is going to be nervous, hesitant, or a little scared, which makes it hard to get into each other. Actually some nice hugging, talk, body contact will make that person feel more at ease, helping each other become more relaxed with meeting up for sex, friendship, conversation, etc. Personally I love hugging and body contact myself. I love starting off slow, getting into each other first, then see where things lead.