Capture d’écran, le 2018-11-29 à 14.33.02

Speak Out: What’s Your Funniest Hook-Up?

Image credit: Djordje Petrovic from Pexels

Hook-ups, whether it’s a one-time thing or a regular occurrence, are often hot and steamy affairs. And then there are the times when your hook-up ends up becoming a hilarious story you can share with your closest friends.

Finding out about these hilarious hook-ups was the focus of a recent Reddit thread, which asked “What’s the funniest thing that happened to you while having sex?” User DragynFiend starts the thread with his own hilarious experience giving a blowjob.

He shares: “So there we were, sitting on the corner of a road under a tree, it’s pretty dim lit, at around 1:30 am in the night. I’m bent over blowing him. It’s fucking hot as fuck, and he’s about to cum when we hear a bicycle bell. It’s too late – he’s cumming all inside my mouth as I look up and see a delivery guy turning the corner. He turns to look at us the very moment I look up.”

“He can see everything, my friend’s huge dick very visible sticking out of his pants, literally cumming on me, while I lock eyes with the delivery guy, mortified,” he continues. “There was a whole three seconds of shocked eye contact as he cycled on ahead, and I swear he looked as if his life had changed, totally stunned.”

The laughs don’t stop there, as other Reddit users chime in with their equal parts hilarious and mortifying sexual encounters.

User hazily, for instance, talks about how he inadvertently performed a Dutch Oven on his boyfriend, writing “ It was my second time topping in my whole life: I was balls deep inside him and when I was just about to climax, I blurted out ‘oh hold on a second’ and ripped a huge fart. We were half covered by the duvet so I kind of dutch-opened [sic] both of us right before I came. We wouldn’t stop laughing after that.”

User standy85, meanwhile, tells the story of how he and his boyfriend literally broke the bed during one passionate sex session.

“It must be when my boyfriend was fucking me missionary style one of the first times I went over to his place. It was the first time he had an apartment on his own and a long term boyfriend, so I guess he felt he could be a little bit wilder than usual,” he writes. “So he was banging me with all the weight of his body and well, he’s 190 cm and rather muscular, so right before reaching climax the slats of the bed gave and I hit the floor with him on top.”

There’s also the story of the poor real estate agent who ended up getting more than she bargained for. User PiEngAW writes “I was dating this guy when I was younger and we didn’t have a place to go so we did it everywhere in public. He wanted to show me his house but his parents were home… so we settled on the model home.”

He continues: “It was late in the day and no one was around. We made our way upstairs and I started riding him on the day bed in what was the children’s bedroom. I’m riding the shit out of him… moaning in ecstasy when we both get this gasp… I look behind me and it was the real estate agent closing up the house… she drops her notebook and runs away in horror.”

Given that our Adam4Adam blog readers are a sensual and sexual bunch, you all probably have your own hilarious hook-up stories to share as well. Tell us all about it in the comments section below, and feel free to be as detailed as you like!

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  1. hkdick

    My Pastor lives right behind me. The door to my bedroom opens right off the patio. One bright sunny Wednesday afternoon, my young man and I were both stark naked on my bed and either I was in the middle of doing him or he was in the middle of doing me when the door opened and I heard “Who hoo, it’s me.” I called out “It’s not a good time, Pastor”, so she left. My young man had forgotten to lock the door. Later I spoke to the Pastor apologetically. She just laughed, said “no problem”. :- That is the last time that he has forgotten to lock the door when he comes in. 🙂

  2. BrockHL

    Very young, and very new at the art of men. Often the urge would hit me to kiss my boyfriend (we were not out and we worked together, so we were pretty cautious about PDA). One night we were hanging out watching movies and my parents had left for dinner and were then going on a week long road trip … so we had the house to ourselves … we kissed every time we passed one another, touched each other intimately, said whatever popped into our minds. It was scintillating! After the movie ended we decided to go grab some dinner. we made our way to the garage, but before I could press the button to open the door, standing there in the darkness, I just grabbed him in a firm embrace and we kissed passionately. I could feel him hardening against my leg, and so I slipped down, unbuttoned his pants, pushed them down to his ankles, and began going down on him right there in the dark, cold, nearly empty garage. It was by far one of the most heated scenes we have ever gotten into, I wanted him so badly and he was loving what I was doing to him, begging me to go harder and faster on him. Then in what seemed hours (though probably a good 15 minutes) he hovered near orgasm and was literally begging me to take him over the edge. My mind was wild with the passion of the moment and suddenly he exploded … he was now begging me to stop, but I could NOT and it was obviously getting a bit painful for him as he was fully spent, but still rock hard, in my warm mouth … so he tries pushing me off and pulling up his drawers and pants … I’m still on my knees as the overhead light turns on just as the garage door begins to rise … we have about TWO SECONDS to get our disheveled selves SHEVELED, LOL! I’m standing up, wiping my glazed mouth, he’s tucking in his shirt, and I hit the button for the other door … and we make our way to my car … Seems, after dinner, my parents had forgotten a bag at the house and decided to return. For the rest of that night we laughed about how close we had been to “blowin’ our secret,” and how there was a NO STOPPING point we had reached in that moment, and literally we were only seconds from discovery … after that we were more thoughtful and purposeful in our locations!

  3. Whidbey Pat

    When I was really young I liked to spank and still do. I had a thing of getting other boys and girls to play spanking for crossing the road without looking both ways till I got caught by a parent. In my 20’s I gave into one of the gay guys pestering me to top them. This one guy who said yes to me spanking him before I tried topping a guy for the first time. We had such a good time with each other I always called him when I didn’t have a woman and he was always available when I needed to use him.
    This went on thru my 20’s and 30’s and now into my 40’s one session about 3 years ago I decided to play spanking for not looking both ways for the first time in our adult sessions with him and after I got a little into my usual routine of that scenario he said “stop stop.. are you (my name first and last) and I said yes did you live in (my childhood neighborhood) and then “did you spank me when I was a little boy just before my parents got divorced and I had to move away?” I said “are you Scotty of Scotty and Debbie?” he answered “yes” I had never known his name since the first time I topped him I always did and still do call him “bitch” when were in sex mode. We laughed so hard and every time I spank and fuck him I have a rock solid erection but never with anyone else.
    Since then we have gotten to know each other to the point I happened to meet and not for the first time his sister. I immediately recognized her as she was one of my past female hookups from the 90’s and spanked her cross the road style and I also spanked her cross the road when I was a kid but never the two of them at the same time. I am positive she remembers me only from our 20’s hookups but has never brought it up and has no idea or remembers the spankings I gave her in her childhood she is about 4 years younger than me.
    Since Bitch and I discovered our childhood connection we get together a lot lot more and I have lost all the blubber I put on from a very slow sex life and gained a lot of mussel . Without this amazing connection I would not have the body of a 20 year old in my 40’s and fuck like a teenager or at least like in my early 20’s again and I am getting a lot of young bottom boys again.

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