Sexuality: Tips For When You Lose Your Gay Virginity
Popular media often depicts gay people as having hyper-sexual lives, and while that may be true to some extent, we weren’t all born experts in gay sex. We can be inexperienced, uninformed, and stressed out about losing our gay virginity.
For the sake of this post, let’s define losing gay virginity as the first time you engage in anal sex. Are you worried it’s going to hurt? Are you worried you might hurt somebody? Do you wonder about how you can avoid getting sexually-transmitted infections? These and other concerns are perfectly valid things to think about, and we’ve got a number of tips for you guys to have in mind before losing your gay virginity.
1. Bottoming can hurt, so be prepared
Your ass may not have a hymen that will break when you first get penetrated, but that doesn’t mean that the top just gets to stick it in. Lube, relaxation, and a lot of communication is needed, especially if you’re taking a long and girth-y dick. Check out our post on how to be a better bottom here, and how to be a healthy bottom here. Our tips on how to be a better top are here.
2. Anal sex can be messy, so both of you should be prepared
There’s a reason why fiber supplements are making a huge play for gay men — anal sex can get messy. If you’re the bottom, either douche or take fiber supplements like Amity Jack. If you’re the top, don’t be a jerk and be understanding when you end up having some poo on your dick. Let’s face it, accidents happen.
3. Don’t be afraid to ask questions
If you’re having sex with someone much more experienced, don’t pretend to know more than you do. It’s perfectly okay to ask, so you don’t end up committing to something you may not be ready for. It’s also a great way to weed out jerks: If your partner doesn’t take the time to teach you, then you probably shouldn’t be giving your virginity to them.
4. It probably won’t be perfect, so don’t put too much pressure on yourself
If it’s your first time, whether as a bottom or as a top, it’s unfair to expect that you perform perfectly. If it’s the first time for both you and your partner, there definitely shouldn’t be any pressure for this first time to be the best sex of your lives. There’s still time for both of you to improve, so don’t let an imperfect first time put you off from having gay sex again.
Do any of our more experienced Adam4Adam blog readers have any advice for guys about to lose their gay virginity? What do you think about the tips we’ve given? Share your thoughts and tips in the comments section below.
DO NOT PROMOTE BAREBACKING! One doesn’t get poo on one’s dick if you use a condom, one more reason to use them. And messing around with the colon can be a bad thing.
There’s no promotion here… I don’t know where you saw this…?
I think it was the way your comment misinterpreted.
I lost my gay virginity to a Brazilian stripper in Amsterdam in 1997. He was gorgeous and had a ten-inch dick. My tip: if you have a big dick penetrating you, do whatever you can to RE-LAX! I was anything but relaxed, and it hurt like hell. But I survived. If you are that Brazilian stripper or have a clue how he can be contacted, please let me know. I’d love to see him again. Thaddeus 172009
Correction: my username is Thaddeus172000 (got it wrong in last post). Looking for info on Brazilian stripper with 10-inch dick. Trying to reconnect with the guy who “took” my gay virginity.
Douching your ass can cause potential problems due to flushing out the good bacteria in the colon. Yes, anal sex can be messy, but that happens. Use condoms, simple enough. Do it in the shower just in case, or realize you’re with your partner and hopefully you love him enough to say, ” It’s mine and I don’t care.” Just enjoy the intimacy and keep some rubbing alcohol and towels on hand.
In the late 70s and early 80s every gay household I knew had dark brown towels. It was always bed, pillow, brown towel, husband’s butt. Simple.
I would not douche ever. It’s dangerous. I hurt my kidneys by douching wrong. Will never do it again. Also those douche treatments have warnings that it can kill you.
What drugs were you trying to take rectally, that you would damage your kidneys by douching your lower intestine? I call bullshit on this one. Flushing your intestine with water solution has no impact upon your kidneys, unless you were taking drugs in the enema which required filtration from your blood after absorption. Either that, or you have no knowledge of anatomy.
Buy a book on anatomy, read it, look at the pictures. There is virtually NO WAY to hurt kidney by douching. Perhaps he was using a hose attached with a drilled out baseball bat for a nozzle, Slipped and fell and drove the bat all the way up his ass…otherwise BULLSHIT
My advice to any bottom: LOTS OF LUBE
If your really into your guy like me, a bit of poop on your cock really doesn’t matter. Matter of fact I would expect it. Many guys really get turned on by rimming, and digging for turds. When your really in love with your guy, sharing is what it’s all about, be it clean or dirty.
How in the hell would you even begin to hurt your kidneys by douching? We’re you flushing your damn urethra?
ALWAYS douche. Yes mistakes happen, but do your best to keep them to a minimum. I am a vers bottom and would never get fucked unless I am prepared. And if I’m topping I expect the bottom to be prepared…
Best tip I ever got to avoid the pain of getting topped, was to bear down as if you’re trying to pass gas or have a bowel movement. That really helps to open up the sphincter and take the top’s Cock in without much , if any, pain. This trick is perfect for virgins or newbies. The hard part is relaxing enough to actually do it since you can be very anxious and the most natural and common reaction is to tighten your hole up to the point of clamping it down shut right when you need to relax it and let it open up to take cock in. So just as your top is about to enter you ask him to work with you and have him enter you until you are fully ready, relaxed, breathing deeply and your hole is bearing down against his hard head. You’d be surprised that as you bear down, it may feel weird and even counterintuitive but trust me, it works, every single time. Happy fucking!
I have a fetish about my ass being clean. all my showers and some sinks have hoses for this cleaning. At home I rinse my ass after every poop. This way I never have tire tracks in my underwear and am always ready. I have been doing this for over 20 years and never had any health problems from doing this. Use warm water and not to much pressure, just enough to get the water to run up into my ass hole. Keep running water until the water coming back out is clear.
Steve I agree. I been doing the same for bout 15-20 years. No Duche kit just plain water. After a few times it will be clear. No health problems here either
For God’s sake, *please douche.* Tap water is fine, as long as you don’t use it for a deep colonic cleanout. It is *not* acceptable to present your hindquarters with a rectum full of fecal residue. Plus, it’s a *lot* easier to bear down a bit, if you aren’t having to worry about expressing feces when you do it. Fecal matter in the anal canal can make an entry “rough” in a very unpleasant way. By all means, explore your own anus and rectum with your fingers, under a hot shower. All “waffle stomping” jokes aside, it’s an awesome way to get clean for a date with a special someone, whom you don’t wish to present with a rank butt and streak of feces, while he’s trying to be a kind teacher. Disregard the poop fetishists on this one; clean ass is a lot more fun, and less likely to stain the sheets. Borax will get it out, but only a dirtbag would suggest “hiding” it with a closet full of ugly brown sheets and towels.
My advice as a top who tried to bottom twice and who has a super tight ass and thick cock to others is this bottoms douche ur ass out it ain’t hard use purified water and a syringe is inexpensive and keep up that process until the water coming out your ass is clear, foreplay is your BEST friend, if ur into getting your ass ate its a great relaxer and also LUBE is best lots if need be find which one is best for u, and use condoms I can’t stress on the need for protection and it’s your right can’t trust even your own hands in this day and age, and also sex in real life isn’t porn take your time and build up to a nice tempo and switch positions and techniques and both top and bottom can have a gr8 time oh and romancing and kissing is great if u and ur bottom clicks it gets the processing going and memorable.
Clean tap water is best for clean out. Not distilled as it will affect the body’s mineral & salt balance. No borax either. I suspect concentrated Epsom salts were the source of the kidney issues. Just use clean tap water. Don’t add anything.
Strangely, I’m much cleaner by simply showering and cleaning myself with soap and fingers. I very rarely have a problem. Things are much dicier when I douche.
5) A gang bang can be fun when you bottom the first time but also a little overwhelming.