Gay Stuff : Group Fun and Group Dating
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Hey, guys! Have you ever tried group fun or group dating? We are not talking about group sex but rather a group blind date where you organize a night out with other single gay men in hopes of finding a boyfriend at the end of the date.
The concept is most popular in Japan where it is called gōkon. A person joins gōkon not to search for one-night stands but rather for a friend or a romantic partner and yes, gōkon is also said to be growing in popularity among the LGBT community in Japan. In other countries, group fun is called “A Table for Six.”
I had not known at the time that those terms for group dating existed but in college, we used to do this a lot and it was fun. Usually we would book a villa for an overnight swimming at a private hot spring resort. We also held a party at a friend’s basement, and even arranged numerous simple dinners at a restaurant, fast food and otherwise, that usually lasted for like five hours.
Anyway, if you have not done this yet, you totally should! Here at Adam4Adam, there is a section called Parties and Events where you can organize a get together with other guys. If you wish to organize one, click here. If a dinner is too simple for you, or if you think a party is too common, you guys can play paintball, basketball, football, anything under the sun really as the idea is that it should be a group fun. And if no romantic relationship is formed, at the very least, you earn new friends so it’s a win-win for everyone, yes?
Having said that, have you ever been on a group date? Why or why not? To A4A members who have been on one, how was it? To those who haven’t yet, will you try going on one? Sound off in the comments section below.
That sounds like a good idea. When I had an office job, I was impressed by how the straight young people would go out as a group for Happy Hour every Friday, and meet up with groups from other offices, that’s how they met each other. I never saw a gay equivalent, other than group activities like sports. That’s one reason relationships can be so rare. But you should make a separate space from this, because all the “parties” are orgies (for pay), and it will be impossible to distinguish the two.
I like this idea! Can’t believe I’ve never thought of it before! Unfortunately, with the type of site A4A is and every other LGBT dating-based app, I don’t think it would be as great of a success due to the stereotypes that continually get confirmed by our little community. I hope I am wrong and this becomes a thing in the US, because it’s getting rather lonesome (both personally and observing culturally) that the LGBT community doesn’t actually date. Dick is nice, but so is intellect and the ability to connect with a person in interests beyond the bedroom.
I totally agree with you, Andy! Likewise, from what I have seen on a4a, the “parties and events” section is overwhelming filled with hotel orgies and other sex parties.
See this is a great networking concept but unfortunately we all know a lot good portion of gays would hope this would lead into some huge anon orgy because you’d guys that only invite gays who are hung, super fit and facially attractive. It wouldn’t be genuine in hopes of actually finding someone to date in the long term
To an extent, this exists for me. I have several buds I get together with one on one regularly. In a group, a few times per year. New guys are invited in, but only after one of us has vetted them to ensure they are safe, are sane, we know what they like in and out of the bedroom, and they understand what hygiene is. I can’t see ever grouping with totally random strangers. Opportunities for disaster would be plentiful … weird guys, guys who have unprotected sex with any guy they can get, someone not paring up with anyone and the drama that could bring. But hey if you like the unknown, drama and excitement, go for it!
Speed Dating never caught on in the LGBT community. Maybe this will. 🙂
I always love to form a group of guy friends to hang out and do mundane things. It’s funny the friendship concept is harder to believe among gay guys. Friendship is not the same as best friend relationship but guys can make quite difficult for it to happen. I always like to able to play games (nonsexual or just a little bit naughty sexy) and some contact sports with clothes optional just like when we were kids and innocent.
Here, in So. Fl., it would be fantastic, what, with all these restaurants to try, the beaches, even movies to go see and talk about afterwards over wine/dinner, music events, ect. Sounds really civilized compared to what guys are really up to on the great dating sites. I LOVE the idea!
Just like I said to someone on this very site a little while ago, “it’s not the gay sites, it’s the people on them; what they turn it into.”
Here’s my question for another post: what’s the difference between group sex and an orgy? To me, group sex means a cluster of people all over each other, mingled and sans boundaries, with a degree of synchronization, which is just disgusting to me. An orgy, properly speaking, suggests a banquet, and many couches, chaises, chairs on which couples may or may not be having sex, or a party where the servers then make themselves sexually available to the guests, Ancient-Greek style. It is more of a party atmosphere, with people able to maintain some boundaries, yet stimulated by the activities of others. So perhaps some privacy screens or big palm planters obscure one’s view. A modern version could be a house party in which all rooms are available for the use of guests. But that gets gross, easily, ala Fire Island.
Before the dating/hookup apps, Craigslist, and A4A, we have in Houston a local paper, Houston Press, that had a “backpage” where classifieds were placed and there were monthly gatherings for singles hosted by the paper that had an LGBT night every so often and those were always fun because if offered an alternate way to meet gays away from the bars. It lead to friendships, dates and relationships. It seems what is old is new again.