Speak Out: Worst Breakup Ever
What is your worst breakup ever? How did it happen? Moreover, have you ever broken up with someone else during the holidays? This must be terrible!
The worst breakup I have ever experienced was when I had been ghosted. I’m over it obviously plus we had only been dating for a few months in the first place. I’m not saying it is cool though. It never is cool to just disappear or fall silent and leave the other person without saying as much as bye.
In my case I got hurt even though I entered the relationship with both my eyes open: I had the end in mind. And I mean that I knew we were not going to last.
I know what you are thinking. Why go into the relationship in the first place? Well, I took the chance because I liked him very much but at the same time I was aware that we were both young so I expected the relationship will not survive. When the end finally happened, it still sucked because I thought at the very least we were friends and the silent treatment told me otherwise.
But I do know this is a hell of a lot worse hands down and I really can’t help but feel sorry for my friend’s friend: finding out your boyfriend has been cheating on you with another guy and getting thrown out of the house right before Christmas. Yes, it is a true story unfortunately.
Breaking up is not easy especially since we know that in doing so, we will hurt the other person but it is still the kind and decent thing to do. Mature, too. Also, by not breaking up properly, we end up hurting the other party anyway.
Oh, and we do it in person, face-to-face. Not via phone, email, text message, or online chat.
So, what about you? What is your worst and most painful breakup ever? Did it happen during the holidays? Share your story in the comment section below.
My last relationship ended horribly and has scarred me emotionally. My ex was still fresh from a 7 mo jail stint to which I stopped my life and laid in waiting for his return. Everyone around me knew how much I loved him and how dedicated I was to him, so needless to say when he got out I was happier than a fat kid at a buffet. That was short lived. My ex’s alleged best friend had convinced him that while he was gone I was cheating on him, which I wasn’t. I had also developed a stalker to whom I rejected during his time away telling him clearly I was taken. Stalker decided to hack into my email and plant incriminating evidence making it look like I cheated when I did no such thing. Of course instead of believing me he believes them and we ended up separating but very much saying we were working on our relationship. I went to see him where he was staying and found the door open. He was supposed to be watching his niece and nephews but he was nowhere in sight. I asked his niece where he was and she pointed up stairs. I proceed up the steps to his bedroom to where I find him in the bed with another man with no clothes on. I stayed calm but because he’d been caught his anger was at 1000 and in attempt to push me outta the house almost pushes me down some steps and that led to a physical altercation. He lied to his relative whom he was staying with saying I broke into the house and just picked a fight with him negating the fact he had a man in the house with her children, naked in the bed upstairs while they were unattended. We’ve never spoken since. 5yrs of my life and it was over with no closer or real adult conversation. Still months after the ordeal I feel so empty.
I honestly haven’t had horrible break-ups. LOL In fact, one of my ex-boyfriends is now married to my brother.
I guess I’m fortunate that my ex-boyfriends still like me as a person. Then again, I don’t go into a relationship on emotion and drama, but genuine connection which has to be way more than sexual. It has to be intellectual too.
Some guys are more shallow than the Kardashians and they confuse drama with love, but the minute they realize their is no love–only drama–they feel stupid and do a dramatic break up.
Quite frankly, I have stayed away from highly emotional men (1) because I find that very unattractive, but (2) emotional men adore messy drama more than they like orgasms.
I would predict that entitled narcissists probably do the most drama at break-up time.
I’ve only broken up with one person (so far, only one real relationship). I had to leave him in the middle of the night.
I knew he had lied to me, did meth when I told him how strongly I was against it, cheated on me with females including one under age, all of which he told me were lesbians or some other excuse. I knew it was going on on some level.
Then, aside from drinking every night, he would go into these rages where he would be so hateful to his mom and I over stupid stuff like us missing part of a YouTube video he was showing us on his phone. He called us names, lied about us to each other, she was a recovering meth addict (she never touched it), I was threatening to walk 3,000 miles if he didn’t “let” me stay (when in reality he begged me to stay when I attempted to leave before).
He came home extremely drunk, we had sex and he lied to me again, then passed out as his hand hit me in the face and his knee jabed me in the stomach and pinned me against the wall (he would flail around like that a lot, but that night it was the straw that broke the camel’s back).
I took his stuff out of of the car we shared, but I had brought into the relationship. I quietly and carefully packed my stuff and loaded the car. My mom sent me money and I left about 4:30 AM. It was 2:30pm before he awoke to find me and the car gone.
I thought he was the one. He had my heart, even after I left (this past July). I’m slowly moving on but at one point, he and I were talking and I found myself being ignored and lied to, just like old times. I stopped texting. We can’t work it out if he continues to act that way. I’m not desperate for love enough to be treated like a hand-me-down sweater that you hump and cum in sometimes when nothing or nobody else more interesting is around. I deserve better.
My first boyfriend and I were together for barely a year when we broke up. When we first started dating, I was a struggling porn star wannabe. When he asked me to be his boyfriend that Christmas, I accepted his proposal. We were very much in love. But the porn thing kept coming between us. I eventually made it in the industry, not bigly, but enough to be considered part of the club. And the boyfriend wanted me out of the industry. He didn’t want to share me with other men. After my film’s debut in June that year, I quit the industry and chose HIM over it.
But the porn wasn’t what was wrong with us. He was too silent and selfish, and always suspicious of me when we were apart. When our first anniversary came around, we thought were still in love, but on New Years Eve, I found out – in both actions and words – that he really didn’t love me anymore. It was just a fling that went on for too long. A month later we were done. It broke my heart. I cried for days. The worst part of it was that he wouldn’t even talk about it – he simply said, “I don’t want to do this anymore.” Eventually the months passed, and I fell in love again with another, but I slowly came to realize that, even though I cheated on him, HE was still the shitty boyfriend. Who never visited me. Who never gave me anything except food and used gifts, and our anniversary present. Who was always suspicious of me. Who made me give up a career I worked hard to maintain.
Maybe it WAS just a fling, after all. Doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt any less. Now I’m grateful it ended where it did.
My ex if you can call 3 weeks living with each other a ex. I fell in love with a twink, which I should of known better since I was old enough at the time to be his father. I finally realize with the help of my gay friends that he was a hustler. So he found a new a place to live, I paid for a month rent & deposit. He said we were more happy when he lived alone. I knew him 6 months prior before I asked him to live with me.
So over the 6 months prior I met his grandpa & had his # & about where he lived. I called his grandpa up & said we need to meet & talk about your grandson. After the talk grandpa asked if I wanted him to share this conversation with his grandson, I told him I didn’t care.
So a few days later the twink called me to his apartment that I paid for & told me he wanted the spare key & that he was going to call my Mom & tell her I was gay. Before all of this my Family never knew anything about me being gay. I thought he was bluffing but found out many hours later he did call my Mom & told her I was gay.
I felt something I never felt before with him, the feeling from the heart. I hope someday I get another chance to fall in love.
But I been scammed by many other so called twinks from other online dating sites. So now if I ever would meet someone I’m not sure I would trust that person.
By the way my Mom was a bit upset with me dating a twink & my other sis’s & brother when they found out they didn’t care. So long story short the twink helped me come out to my Family.
Omg I hate to say this but this story is plain S T U P I D !!! Just plain stupid but I have to admit that I love love love reading story like this. Sorry for being so judgemental
Your story is embarrassing, tbh… Btw, look pass the surface….
My BF was on vacation with his mom. I was at work in front of my computer doing some programming when suddenly I felt a pinch on my chest and some chills ran through my spine. And at the back of my mind i said to myself “He’s not coming back.” I ignored the uneasiness for a couple of days. On the 2nd day, I called him. No answer. I called again. He picked up the phone. In a very cold voice he said, “hello.”. And I said, “We need to talk.” And said he: “I am sorry.”
When I got home that day, I scheduled my appointment for visa, confirmed my acceptance at a university in the midwest. 2 months later, I moved to the US and never looked back. The break-up didn’t sink in until after 6 months and the pain lasted for 4 years.
My partner of 13 years passed away unexpectedly 3 and a half years ago. I posted about it on here and got an private message from a guy who had gone through the same thing. We started talking and sharing our histories and had arranged to meet over the holidays. Well, all of a sudden he stopped responding to my emails and phone calls. I never did find out why. It set me way back in dealing with everything. No I figure it is better to just be alone forever and just live with my dogs. This way, I won’t have to pretend to care about anyone and they won’t have to pretend to give a damn about me.
I was in a relationship for three and a half years. At one point, my ex got a new job and he was opening a store. I was super supportive (I was opening multiple store locations in my job and knew the stress load). I understood the long hours and the late nights. Afterall, he wasn’t out at work.
Oh, but he was. Three and a half years and he had dated multiple coworkers when we were still together. He’s still with the last guy. He broke up with me over text message, and about a year and a half after the breakup we finally spoke. He wanted to meet for dinner… at the restaurant we had our first date at. He was kind, nice, seemed to grow, and at the end of the night tried to kiss me. I had to fend him off because he was in the relationship and he said to “hold on for a little bit.” I didn’t hear from him for another month and he claimed to have been drunk and never remembered the end of our night.
The scars from the psychological damage still haunts me.
I was with my ex for about 2 and a half years. He’s the one who ended it, and you’d think I might be hurt, upset, depressed by this. Absolutely not. His was the most effective, decisive break up EVER that I didn’t really think about the relationship afterwards. At all.
He set my house on fire. BAM. Just like that, HE was the last thing on my mind. All my things – gone. My family heirlooms! Gone. All my stuff – with some exceptions, gone.
He was always a little different…but he was always mostly grounded in reality. But not all of him was here. So I thought “Hey, he’s not TOO bad if he still gets this, or that”. How wrong was I. It turns out that by not keeping all of him grounded, I was enabling his thoughts. Shame on me. But now I know…
When I tell people this story, I always tell it the same way:
Me: Ex went crazy and set the house on fire. Here’s some pics.
Them: OMG. What happened??? (Always the same)
Me: I just told you. He went crazy. He set the house on fire. That’s the beginning, middle, and end.
I had a former BF for about six months. Really fell head over heels for him. For the first couple months, it was a great relationship. Then, he started to beg off on our dates (We didn’t live together, though he had stated that he wanted me to move in once he had a larger apartment), and sometimes to not answer my calls. He usually said he had a migraine, which I bought at first. i started to suspect there was more going on when he said he was home sick, and later that day I happened to see him in a background shot on a news broadcast. He had a plausible story for that too. Then he didn’t show up for Christmas Eve with my family. Usual excuse of a migraine. I realized then it was over. He didn’t formally break things off though until February. The weekend before Valentine’s day to be specific. Later on, I found out that his “migraines” began about the same time he started dating another guy. I have to admit he really did a good job on hiding that, because I never saw any sign of it during the time we were dating. Apparently, it was his pattern. He’d be with someone for a few months, then once he got bored, start a new relationship and send the old guy packing
I met the love of my life on line a while back, I should have known better since he was in Washington ,and me in Missouri, that it wasn’t going to work out. We talked a lot on a gay chat room that we both loved and were moderators. I didn’t have the digital camera at the time but the old 35 mm film camera. He wanted some pictures of me so as to see what I looked like. He liked and had put the better ones up on his walls He finally asked me to meet him on person and visit him at his house. It seemed like a dream come true, Finally I thought I found my life mate. I came to visit him again shortly thereafter only to find all my pics gone. He couldnt really explain why he did it,( red flag) He left a message on my voice mail that he was really sick, and from the tome he was. Come to find out he had an appendix rupture, He cried and told me how much le loved me and such. I couldn’t get away from work , so I called every day. The next visit he was on crutches, dummy fell down the stairs. I stayed with him 2 weeks to see that he got back to walking, Driving him to Doctor appointments and the grocery store and the like. We went out to his favorite bar and I met all his friends. I thought this was good. Later that night when I got a bit frisky, he pushed me away and basicly told me he didn’t really love me That a long distance relationship wasn’t that good and had found another guy for play with and loved him better, ( this guy only lived 500 miles from him versus my 1500 miles.) . He slowly started to back away with visits and such, I attended his daughters wedding at his invitation and met his family and his ex wife. I thought it might be salvageable, but wrong I was. He continued to write letters, but on line he was a different person, he could dish out the digs and sarcasm , but couldn’t take the ribbing back. getting nasty and childish. He then told me that he met yet another guy( number 5) since then, he didn’t allow me to see him. The letters lasted for about 2 years then abruptly stopped, he changed his phone number. I wrote to him multiple times and no letter was answered. It hit that I was done with him. I still miss him and would like to be friends, but I had heard that once he was finished with you , that was it. To this day I still think of him, and wonder what I did wrong, or could have done to make this work out.
First time falling in love and first relationship ever at the age of 33 three years ago. Hesitant I was because not only was that something I truly didn’t believe in it was also the fact he was far from my type and I only met up with due to boredom. Life is truly funny because not only did he grow on me, he made me grow and before I knew it I was on love. Well my now ex is a white male and I’m black I say that only to reference something later in story. He is also 26 years older than me but he was such a sweetheart you have no idea how really good he was to me. The first three months in our relationship I found myself with him everyday, practically almost moved in his house entirely and he spoiled the shot out of me. I had never known what the feeling of going everywhere everyday and spending and doing what I wanted everyday. He bought me cars, clothes galore and much more…even was proposed to with a beautiful gold and diamond engagement ring. I literally was living the life in heaven to a man, who knew? I grew up with lessons taught and installed in me and a whole lot of wisdom and prayers for intelligence and safety. I was always taught to be mindful to signs and to alway always go with your gut. One day while my fiance was supposed to be at his 2nd job I was home with my mom taking a nap, mind you my ex while at this job every other week 2x a week didn’t answer the phone due to the “occupation rules and respect there of” I woke up with a terrible pain in my gut. Is was the type of pain when you know someone isn’t right. I tell you no lie my gut made me grab my keys and start my car and drive to my dudes 2nd job in which I had never done. He had given me no reason to ever have to question or confront in such a manor. I trusted him. Well, I called left message that I needed to see him In which I know he would check messages and return call on “break” all the while I’m driving around in parking lot looking for his car. Couldn’t find it and no call yet. My Ole trusty gut told me to go to first job Maybe he’s there…nope! My faithful guto lead me one last place and the pain at that time was unbareable. I went to one of his favorite spota just to relax and get fresh air and there it was. His beautiful expensive car sat right there parked on the street and him nowhere to be found. I would say about a thousand feet away there is a Lil fantastic pizzeria that you could enjoy and possibly take someone on a date to and have a good time. I called his phone and I texted him and said, “if you don’t want your car fucked and burnt to hell you will stop screening my calls and join me out here on the street. You can’t miss me I’m behind your car. Yeah I tell you no lie within the next minute with him and another gentleman step out of the pizzeria the gentleman was black very nice looking I have to say older than me probably about 10 or 15 years and they’ve steadfastly got to me all the while my stomach is on fire and I’m nervous mad but ready for war. Well long story short it ends up being his long-term relationship partner they have been in any relationship for 13 years which baffled me because I practically was with this man for 3 months already every day except for the days he went to work and those days which you told me he was at a second job he was actually with homeboy. There was cussing and a lot if yelling believe me and it was mostly me. My fiance said nothing while me and his common law husband went back and forth. He made one statement to me the 13-year relationship do he made one statement to me that bothered me to the point where I went to my trunk and I was going to get something that was going to really do some damage to that man asked me why am I so bothered why am I so upset I’m only 3 months in? After I went and got what I needed I told him plainly, “cause I feared for a day like this” all the while I’m looking my dude in the face. He knew I didn’t want luv but here I am chasing foolishness. Well I’m not going to bore everyone with every detail that one with our relationship it did end up lasting a year-and-a-half but it made me stronger I have gone through all our problems jail problems emotional problems those cold months and year I was with him. I can say one thing I was never broke I was never without I was loved but I was made a fool of I was cheated on constantly and income in complete and total denial he was this day I have never ever got the truth from them even though I knew it. First and last breakup I’ve ever had I would never ever put myself through what I went through it took me a year to get over that b*******. There was good there was bad there were warm and cold times but I change it now but would I do it again but hell no!!!!!
Honestly he made me wiser and have me the world, but at the same time ruined my trust for the good news bad of men. I over analyze everything to where if I dated someone again we’d be miserable till one of us leaves. Damaged is what I am and funny thing is I think he isn’t bothered or effected not one bit and that’s what hurts the most.
I had dated and was engaged to a guy and he ended our relationship and our engagement by text.
He had alot of issues but I was head over heels in love with him. I even stood by his side when he went to jail and I even loaned him and his mother the money for the lawyer that they couldn’t afford. Once he was out of jail, things started to change and once his court case was settled, he ended our relationship 3 days before Christmas which was also our anniversary. I was in shock amd heartbroken. He refused to talk to me like adults would do. He even refused to pay back the money I had loaned them. I still tried to talk with him and he would ignore me or say it was me who ended the relationship with him! (Like I said earlier-he had issues) He would never give me the closure that I wanted or needed and I wound up taking him and his mother to court for the loan hoping that might help with closure – kind 8f like a divorce. He was constantly sneaking looks at me (I had a friend with me and she kept catching him) and he was such a broken man, and I still just wanted to hold him in my arms and make everything better for him. I did win the case and was hoping that it would help with closure but it just kept me in touch with his mother. She would tell me how horrible he was and that he had no life at all anymore and they even stopped talking to each other and they lived in the same house. He wouldn’t even let her play with his dog – her granddog. He felt that no one was ever on his side for anything. (Again-issues)
His mother has since moved away and he is now literally all alone. I have moved on after several years and I wish him all the love and happiness in the world. I had wished I could have been the one to give that to him but you have to have love and happiness in your own heart before you can accept it from someone else.
My situation is like the rest: trusting gay guy treated as an “easy mark” by con artists and hustlers.
I thought I was in a relationship for 3 years. I met his mom and thought it might work. We even visited each other’s church. I “gave him a drawer” at my place for his things. And a key to my place.
The signs were there–always needing $$ or I have to pay–whenever we go out. But I was too blind to see it. My friends exchanged glances, but never told me what they saw. I wish they did. (There’s another blog subject in there…)
Over the 3 years, I “loaned/paid for stuff” for him totaling over $5K. That’s restaurants, airfare, hotel, deposit on a car., etc. If he always has an excuse, and you’re always payin, it’s not a relationship. Another lesson learned…
I later discovered he was stealing my stuff too.
In my gut, I sensed something wasn’t right. One night I just “sensed” where he was: a local cruising spot in DC. I should have ended it there. If we’re in a relationship, why are you here to fuck?
He ended it. By simply disappearing with no contact. I worried that he might be hurt, sick, etc. Then, 2 days later, I went to his job and saw his car in the parking lot.
Then I realized I, and my stuff, was at risk. I had the locks to the apartment changed. I packed up his stuff and took it to his mom. During a polite talk, she pretty much confirmed he was a con artist. Saying I wasn’t the first person he conned. And “hoped” I would change him. Meeting family doesn’t mean he’s the one…
A few weeks later, there was an attempted break in at my place. I lived on the top floor, of a 20+ story building, so it was too coincidental to accidental. I told the cops who I thought it was. 3 days later I get an “anonymous” call. The person didn’t say anything. I told him I knew it was him and I told the cops he’s top of the list if anything happens to me or my stuff. He hung up. I’ve moved on. It was never a relationship. I was just another mark.
For the con artists reading this, remember: what goes around, comes around… in ways you don’t expect…
My most awful break up was with a bf of six years. We had gone from exclusive to open. For awhile it was good sharing a hot bottom or more, but then he started inviting ove guys he knew I wouldn’t like. And he’d get pissed off if I got my butt plowed by guys we had each, or both, fucked. Then he met a nice 19 year old guy using my gay.com profile. Not my type, but a nice kid. Tossed my ass out to the street and did not even give me my jewels back!
I don’t speak about my breakup often. However, I got inspired to share my story after reading the comments here. Before I get into it, I must stress to anyone who reads this to always protect yourself, and be true to yourself first and foremost.
I had a long term relationship with a man that eventually became long distance. I remained faithful during it. We dated for over a year and met up several times to see each other. Despite the amazing sex and emotional compatibility, I never got the impression that he ever lied to me until our vacation in Colorado.
While we were in our hotel, his health rapidly began to deteriorate, and I called an ambulance after day three. The EMT’s told me had I not made the phone call that day, he would have been dead the next day. I stay 12+ hours in the ER lobby, making additional decisions on behalf of him so the hospital could continue to treat him. His condition was so critical, he required open heart surgery.
However, they found out through his blood work that he was positive with HIV, and since I admitted him and said I was his boyfriend, wanted me to get tested (I’m still negative). What killed our relationship is that I had to go through his phone to reach out to his family to inform them of his condition, since he didn’t have any insurance cards on his person. He told me about his family (BF said he was divorced), and he told them about me allegedly. I unknowingly got in touch with his wife, who not only had no idea who I was, or what we were doing in Colorado, but according to her, she and my boyfriend were “happily married and still together”.
So here I am, alone in a city, treating a dying man who had lied to me from the day we first met. And just when I thought I could hear his side of the events and sort out lies from fiction (IE: making myself believe what was comfortable and easier to accept), 3 months later I get an e-mail from him on a e-mail address I’ve never seen before. In short, he thanked me for saving his life but thought we shouldn’t be together because he’s in rehabilitation (no mention of his marital status at all, mind you). Even though I made up in my mind that it was over, he audaciously asked me to never attempt contacting him or his family.
I am a firm believer in karma, and a house built of lies eventually collapses on itself. This entire ordeal scarred me, but he’s a bodybuilder who’s lost his physique, lost his marriage, lost credibility with his friends, and probably lost his job too, all because he couldn’t be true to himself. And if there’s one thing I learned out of all this, it’s to be true and honest with myself at all times.
That’s what I encourage anyone who reads my story to do: value yourself first and foremost, and don’t let the hurt – no matter how great – from a past relationship stop you from being human and being good to yourself. I struggle with keeping my guard up perpetually now, but I still work at treating myself well.
Take care everyone; thanks for reading.
I’m older been with older and enjoyed it very much but I would like to have a younger man with morals and full of energy to love and be with
This blog was perfectly timed.
I met my Xbf two years ago. We actually met at an adult book store. We hooked up and it was by far the best sex I’ve ever had in my life. He lived in maiami and I live in Maine. He worked on a flight crew. He is def by far the greatest guy you could ever meet. He is SMOKIN HOT, Latino. When you see him you instantly fall in love. When ever we went anywhere all eyes (guys and girls were on him) His body is ripped and he has huge arms, soccer player and a cock that don’t quit. The sex…its better than any and all porn movies I’ve ever seen. we are both tops naturally but we bottomed for each other. We def gave 100% to each other. He is so funny and has a laugh that makes you just love him even more. Did I mention the sex was truely amazing? The distance thing wasn’t so bad. We chatted, texted and had a lot of video sex as well every day. We both have VERY high sex drives. VERY HIGH! We bothe knew that being apart and having a monogamous relationship would fail. So we agreed to have an open relationship when we are apart. We even traded sex stories and jealousy never entered into the picture for either of us.. I’ve never met a more perfect person for me than him. I’ve never given my heart to anyone and so quickly. I was even leaning Spanish just so we could speak his language sometimes lol (his English is perfect).
I haven’t heard from him in about 5 days. I sent texts, calls and several emails asking if he was ok, what’s up. Really holding back from being mad. Worry has def set in. Two days later I get an email from him “I’m ok”. Well I was relieved. But now getting upset. It was so not like him. He is def the most caring guy and this is so out of his character. I sent him another email asking to explain what’s going on. He wrote back “Dylan I can’t see you any more. I love you too much. We were getting too close. I normally don’t let that happen. I need to step away.” That was it. We sent 2 more emails back and forth. But not much more information was gained for me. He is such a great guy and to have him eave like that I just don’t understand. The distance thing was really not that bad for us. we’ve never had a fight or arguement.
This all went down last night. I have not stopped crying since 2:30pm yesterday i took some NyQuil to go to sleep and work up crying this morning. I can’t focus and I’m just a fucking mess. I don’t even know what to do. I feel like someone ripped my heart form my chest. Last night on my way home from work trisha yearwood’s version of “how do I live with out you” came on and I had to pull over as I couldn’t breathe or see the road. Music was hard to listen to as was the silence. I’ve never been this sad. I actually took today off work. I Just don’t know what to do.
Thanks for letting me vent.
D
First man I ever dated cheated on me and I found out about it on facebook!!!! We were together about 3 years and I fell for him hard time and for the first two and a half years it was great! Then he found out he was diabetic and pulled away from me and was very cold I didn’t see him for 3 months prior to us breaking up!!!! He would not let me be there for him he found someone else!!!! They broke up 4 months later!!!! Now he wants me back, sorry sucker it took me two years but I finally moved on!!!!
My ex broke up with me and it took me a couple of years to stop hurting. We met in a piano bar while I was on a business trip. I had gone to this bar to have a couple drinks after work and to talk with local men. He was seated at the other side of the bar – in direct view of each other. We chatted and sang together. He drank margaritas and I drank beer. I invited him to my room and the passion between us that night was memorable – and it was the beginning of a love affair of a life time (for me). We lived in different cities but got together regularly. I was making some plans to change my life for him but I could see he was having concerns about our relationship. After one night of heart-felt passion, as he was leaving for work, he kissed me, three times, as though he wanted to savor the memory. Later that week he called me and told me he no longer wanted to deal with a long distance relationship. What could I say? He rejected me and moved on to a new guy. I understand all of his reasons – yet my affections for him overrode all of the objections I had about our relationship – I felt that love trumped everything else. That was about 10 years ago. I still smile when I remember the beauty that existed between us and feel grateful that I could love someone to that depth of emotion.