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Speak Out : He Didn’t Want to Kiss!

I once had a guy tell me that I could kiss him anywhere below his neck! It was the first statement of that kind I had experienced. Since then I have always asked potential fuck buddies if they are affectionate—especially if they kiss. I would not be compatible with another male if he did not kiss passionately.

If we consider the male anatomy, the nervous system provides a conduit of emotions directly into the sex organs. So, if there is passionate foreplay, the setting for extremely hot sex is definitely impacted through kissing. I can’t imagine having sex without foreplay with cuddling, massaging, and kissing!

How do you guys feel about affection, foreplay do you like to kiss?


There are 84 comments

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  1. Michael

    If anyone refuses to be intimate, and just wants to use me to ‘get his rocks off’, then what’s the point of calling yourself gay or being interested in sex with people of your own sex?
    If you just want to have sex, go to a whore house.

      • Tuffnut2crack

        How many male whore houses are there? I mean one of the benefits of being a man is that being a whore is implicit. One doesn’t have to be, but if you are generally meeting a stranger for sex. You’re pretty much a whore dude.

        • DEZZYDAPOOO

          THANK YOU!!!LOL I AM NOT ASHAMED TO BE A NON KISSING HOE!! I MEAN WE HOOKING UP I AINT MAKING LOVE OR HOPING TO… im single and free no kissing get your nut! And this is to avoid bad breath lolllll

  2. joey

    I agree with you David. No kissing to me becomes just mechanical as far as sex goes. Porn might get away with little to no affection, but it won’t happen in real life.

  3. blckdaddy4twink

    I have refused literally dozens of men because they refuse to kiss or even suck dick. If i just want empty emotionless sex, i can do better with a fleshjack or a gloryhole.

  4. malik

    If a guy wont kiss I’ll consider it an immiediate turn off and break it off.

    I once had this married guy try to hit it off with me (of course I declined his offer, gross) but mentioned he didnt kiss because he only did that with his wife. I was like this mfer is crazy to reserve kissing for his wife while willingly fucking another guy in the ass lol ok.

    Anyway, yeah. I consider guys who dont kiss as not comfortable with their sexuality and that is a turn off. I like cock, not pussies.

  5. Me

    Some people just like to be safe minded especially at first because most gay men have an attention span of only one meeting, then your old news. Why take risks of passing std”s

  6. Buddythomas

    Some guys aren’t good kissers , or have bad breath or have a hot body and an ugly face. I’m into kissing but not with everyone.

  7. Michael

    If I’m not into a guy for kissing him I’m surely not going to be into him for sex and if he’s not a kisser it is for doubly sure we aren’t having sex. Kissing and making out is half the emotion needed for outstanding sex.

  8. Glyne

    Sex without kissing is not for me. I ask every guy the same question because I am very passionate and oral. Nothing turns me more than making out kissing before the actual penetration. Gotta have it.

  9. Dennis

    I post in my profile that kissing and making out are required for naked man fun. Hot, passionate kissing is a HUGE turn on for me! I agree with the prior posts. If he won’t kiss then the rest of the sex (presume anal) just isnt enjoyable, for me. I’ve had men say they wont kiss because “it’s too gay” but the dick up your backside isnt??

  10. Wayne

    I agree with Bryan….. Kissing is a HUGE turn on for me too!! How can someone have sex and not kiss!! Just don’t understand it!!

  11. Kirt28202

    I do enjoy the foreplay and sensual part of sex, however, I don’t state before meeting face to face that I will kiss someone. Reason being, if he has yellow teeth or bad breath, then it will not go that far. I don’t like being obligated to do something until I see and smell everything in person. If he passes the test, then I can kiss for hours before having sex.

  12. Chris

    Kissing another guy is an integral part of ramping up the passion and allowing me to have a great time. I’m a married guy and enjoy other guys. However, sometimes if I’m looking for a quick blow and go, I won’t kiss the guy. Frankly, it is the same as a whore house. I’m getting sucked off and have no intentions of doing anything more, so in those instances, I refuse to kiss.

  13. Matt

    Kissing is an individual choice just as rimming is. To say that if a guy won’t kiss he can’t be intimate is BS. Intimacy is not physical but emotional. I know how to kiss passionately and yet it can be for me a means to an end literally and figuratively. Kissed him. Fucked him. Done. Move on. Just because a man kisses you does not mean he’s into you.

  14. stowbiguy

    Some guys i kiss others i do not…really depends on the play and how i click with a guy.

    Each to their own… As long as your upfront guys can then make a choices about who they meet. Issues develope when things happens when your nude and find something like this which is a deal breaker for the author.

    The problem i have with the article and majority of the posters is the closed minded of them. I think it is great you like to kiss but to say if you don’t then your a piece of dog $hit kind of lover. Grow up and respect others way of having sex!

  15. dale smith

    It is funny how gay men will welcome random dicks in both orifices yet balk at kissing. Just proves the power of kissing. Not every man can handle that intense degree of intimacy. But without kissing I’m left cold in every sense of the word. One man kissed me so deeply I was being him to fuck me just to put out the fire he’d started. Yowza!

  16. Soft & Fluffy

    I read all the remarks as I always do , and I thought there was a lot of stuff I agreed with .

    Malik said .. ” I consider guys who dont kiss as not comfortable with their sexuality and that is a turn off. ”
    And that really resounded with me .

    Then I looked back in my past and realized that there WERE guys who I enjoyed having sex with but I wouldn’t want to kiss.

    Now my head is all fucked up .. lol

    Thinking about it more , it reminds me of a guy I know who’s a real character who when admiring women will describe them as a ‘lights on’ or a ‘lights off’ fantasy encounter .

  17. Wayne

    I prefer foreplay over just plain sex. These non kissers mainly don’t do it because it involves emotion and that mean you feel something for the person you’re with. I don’t do random sex because it just leaves you empty… might as well just jack off and be content. This is I prefer fems and transgenders, they are emotional and love the intensity. I do agree that if you got a nasty foul smelling mouth it a no go and nothing will happen period.

  18. Steve

    Dealbreaker. There is nothing else to say. Meeting with a guy who says he does not want to kiss, when the time is right, means that we won’t meet. If a guy said that he DOES want to kiss when the time is right, and backs off when the moment is right, I would leave. I’ve done it before, and will do it again.

  19. Scorpion J

    I am into kissing but not everyone. Different people bring different things out of me physically and sexually. Some times I want to bust a quick nut and sometimes an intimate encounter. If someone’s breath stinks, teeth are yellow, rotten or missing, or likes me more then I like them (if I can tell that initially) I will probably not kiss them. It can lead people on. If I kiss someone and it’s extremely wet and sloppy or they’re just a bad kisser, that will probably be our last kiss.

    • dale smith

      Having sex would not be leading someone on? And a man can have poor body hygiene or just be too hairy or not hairy enough. So stop the hypocrisy that it’s altruism choosing not to kiss

  20. Tuffnut2crack

    I don’t like when guys jump the intimacy gun. If we are meeting explicitly for sex and the roles are established. PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, don’t TRY to make love to me. Don’t suck my face off until it’s red, because some of you ‘kissers’ are bad at it. With the right connection and the best sex, kissing is unavoidable. Don’t force it.

  21. nathanialb9

    Ok, I’m Bi…I date women and enjoy men. I make love to a man the same way I make love to a woman….I love kissing and try to be very sensual when I’m with a man. BUT, most of the men I meet don’t want to kiss WTF. It’s like pull the plug on passion. I lose all interest.
    I crave a man that wants to make love, I know I’m in it just for the sex but I am fucking hot in bed with the right man and I want to shave that.

    • Jack

      Sex without emotion is like fast food chineese
      It is never fulfilling,
      Kissing creates passion and fuels desire
      I find that with men who do like to kiss after awhike sex becomes boring.
      I lose interest.

  22. Thaddeus172000

    Nothing more intense than meeting a hot guy, finding him attractive — and deeply kissing while my dick goes in his ass. My favorite position: face to face, tongues together, my dick in his hole.

  23. Dion

    Guess I’m the odd one. Its not that I don’t like kissing. I just don’t like kissing random people from hook ups or stuff like that. I love to kiss my boyfriend all the time, to make out with him even if it’s not during sex but I can’t bring myself to do it with others. It just feels extremely passionate and something I should only do with the person I’m dating or in love with…….

  24. Owen

    Agree with kissing creates hotter sex. Bad kissers and bad breath…no thanks on kissing. Random hook ups at sex clubs and backrooms, I can forego kissing. Guys who know how to kiss I can kiss for hours on end. Kissing for me is like viagra, makes me harder and keeps me hard. Love the sensuality kissing creates. I’m not sure I understand those who won’t kiss, it’s like they have an emotional handicap. Had a fb who when we first met all we did all night was kiss. Over the years he kissed less and less with me, if we had a 3 way, he’d be kissing the other guy endlessly. When I asked him why the decline in kissing, his response was classic…’I had to dial back kissing you, because your kissing made me want you more then just a fb’. For years I wanted more with him then just sex, but he had another love, drugs. I told him that was a possibility but only if he cut down or out his using….he choose drugs. The last time we got together we didn’t kiss at all…it was the worst sex we had ever had. He’s called wanting to get together and I told him only if we kissed. He was put off by that and we haven’t hooked up since.

  25. chris c

    I would agree with some of these responses . I do like , and I am a very passionate kisser ! I do not like wet sloppy kisses . Nice ,gentle kissing ! If it is just a quick nut off . And both parties are agreeing on it . I’m for it ! But I do like a good kissing session to progress the love making in bed or wherever lol . Builds up a very nice load to shoot . And both partners seem to tremble more after ejaculating . However I do not like to be choked out by the others tongue ! Not very many experienced kissers out there . Not that hard to do . But seems that way with partners . I’m the type of guy that if I’m inside you , and we click . I will make out passionately with you . Make your toes curl up . And I want the other to feel as comfortable as possible . I do not like hurting another while having sex . And I respect what they want . If it’s not my thing . It will be the only time we meet up ever ! Bit kissing is a must in most cases

  26. andy6218

    If he’s not kissable, there is little else that I’d be interested in, it’s just an instant dick deflater for me.

  27. ME623

    I love kissing. I’ve been with a few that didn’t, but its partly my fault for not asking prior. If they don’t kiss, we don’t fuck.

  28. Mmblonde

    It just depends.. I service several married straight guys… They don’t kiss,,, they are usually very dominate with me … The sex is hot and lurid …I am just there to be used and not thought of again till the next time… I’m ok with that… But if I were having sex with a potential mate… I’d have to have the passion that comes with kissing…

  29. David

    I personally find kissing to be repulsive, I don’t want your mouth on mine, I don’t want your tongue in my mouth. I’ve never understood the appeal of kissing and probably never will. It’s a hook up, I’m not looking to come out of it with anything but lighter balls. Your a trick, your not getting passion, your not getting the best, because that is reserved for the special someone. Your getting the basics, if that’s a deal breaker then you should have called your boyfriend.

  30. Xtn4nsa

    I’ve dated a guy that would be caring loving affectionate but would never like to kiss. As we got closer i stopped needing to kiss him. And after we ended our relationship, i did the same to new relationships. It was after the third or fourth date that kissing was allowed. It helped me make the distinction between a sex buddy and a potential boyfriend. Sex in the gay community is sometimes seen as a superficial exchange. I never felt as the guy i was fucking would be more than that but i did hope that it would lead to my Mr. Right. I didn’t want to get emotionally attached and dumpped, so i stop kissing.
    Even now when i randomly hookup i still dont kiss.

  31. Stephen

    What a relief to see all the positive kissing comments! I have noticed a definite trend over the past 20+ years where I encounter more and more guys who do not kiss, and as some of you have stated, it boggles my mind! They will suck your dick and eat your ass, but heaven forbid you try to kiss them!! I am happy to be among the majority here who find kissing such a turn-on. For me personally, passionate kissing has the same effect on me as viagra!

  32. Thumper84

    Kissing is a must for me. It is such a huge turn on, if they’re good lol. A bad kisser is worse than not kissing for me. I just need a good kisser and some lube and I’m good to go lol. I get hard just from kissing. And if I’m last to get off I prefer to make out with my partner and jerk off, or better yet have them jerk me off.

    I had a “straight” friend that I had sex with a few times. He didn’t want to kiss, at all, but was a bottom. Didn’t make much sense to me but that’s how he was. I feel that kissing is a must but not everyone does. Everyone has their preferences. Just need to find someone that shares your interests and turn ons.

  33. Hunter0500

    “The one and only” is something most guys I’ve met are not looking for. It doesn’t matter if they’re gay or straight. I’ve worked in two large offices over the years and have found fewer and fewer people likely to be seeking “the one and only forever” person in their lives. Hookups are much more common than they were 20 and 30 years ago with both men and women participating.

    One guy I know is a rare one. When his long term hetero relationship dissolved, he said “there’s no way I’m looking for another woman here at work; everyone in the office has done everyone else! How do they all even look at each other at the coffee machine every day?” He even said that he was amazed at the women in the office who were forward about wanting to hookup with him for “once and done” sex with no strings.

    It used to be that “the one and only” was the way people thought. Now, it seems, not so much, regardless of sexual orientation. Only a couple of my gay buds are hoping for that. And they know it won’t be found at clubs or dating sites. The rest, like me, want several long term buds in their lives that they have a connection with, but no “the one and only.”

  34. Hunter0500

    My experiences with “No Kissing” guys have unfortunately not been good. I don’t want it to become a deal breaker, but it’s sure heading that way. I’ll always have a decent discussion with a guy about what I’m looking for when it comes to sex and will agree to meet based on their responses. One guy was skiddish and would never settle in to having fun. Another was a “cum and run” guy with no reciprocity. Another, a dead fish who acted as though our meeting was all about him being served. All looking for “once and done” meetings regardless of what we had agreed to before meeting.

    It’s just another preference guys have. I’ll have to spend a bit more time vetting “No Kiss” guys before meeting them in the future.

  35. Ed

    I’ve had guys tell me that kissing is too intimate…it’s ok that we stick our tongues up each other’s asses and take cocks into our mouths, but putting your tongue inside his mouth is too intimate…please!!!

  36. Trent

    Kissing? Well basically im not attracted to men. I know you say how is that? Well first off im only attracted to women. I like sex with both. In a vers bottom, and I like a young ass to fuck. love sucking cock. Im into body contact, massaging the body and necking anything but on the lips. I know I’ll get a lot of neg feedback on this but it’s just how I feel. I would consider kissing a twink maybe. I have no problem with my sexuality. It’s just a personal preference and boils down to attraction. But to each his own.

  37. Sidd

    It gets tiresome all the judgement in remarks on this forum. It’s ugly. If a guy doesnt kiss YOU, then he “can’t handle intense intimacy”, “he must not be comfortable with his sexuality”, “he’s trying to deny he’s gay”. Seriously? so negative and judgmental. All those remarks give insight into YOUR mindset, not his.

    If you must speculate why he won’t kiss you, try maybe your breath is bad, he likes your dick but not your face, youre acting like a girl so that limits how emotionally close he cares to be with you. Or any number of other reasons that maybe implicate you not him. Bottom line is its none of your business and you don’t know him. So maybe stop with the judgement and ridicule. Now there’s the turn off.

  38. Ty

    It’s simple the person doesn’t know when the last time you had a dick in your mouth or ate ass… Certain activities are only for the exclusive. Let’s face it there are plenty closeted closed door freaks that post on CList who do anonymous things while ass up and blind folded, have glory holes installed in their homes, sucking at the few remaining bathhouses and truck stops….Even parks and department store bathrooms. To act as if this is some slap in the face is ridiculous. There are diseases that are passed through kissing not just mono… Why should anyone give themselves totally to a person they’re only hooking up with. You’re a hook up so yea bust a nut and go… Kissing is not a prerequisite to anything but to a needy person with emotional issues. A person will kiss you when they trust your mouth…period

  39. Keiran

    Ok from a bisexual standpoint i prefer not to kiss men, but not all men. Femme guys i have no problem kissing but PERSONALLY dont find hairy men attractive. I love to suck, top and bottom but kissing is different. It is intimate but intimacy is reserved for relationships but not everyone feels the same way, obviously why its an opinion. I dont judge anyone else who im not having sex with to do whatever they like but i choose what I like to do and dont want to be judged. Its the same idea. Perspective is all i can provide

  40. Scarpien

    I absolutely LOVE kissing; I can kiss for hours with the right guy. But I’ve found if I’m not really into the guy–just sex, bad breath, random hook up, etc–I usually don’t kiss, and as expected, the sex isn’t as fulfilling.
    Years ago I ran into this hot Israeli as I was entering a club in Tel Aviv–he was leaving. We went back to his place and I found out he was a top, like me. So since neither of us was getting penetrated we made out until the next morning. It was the most intense experience to date because we were so into each other. Needless to say my lips were sore.

  41. mikey pop

    What really annoys me are the guys that don’t like to kiss, but will beg you to eat your ass. You would rather eat my ass and suck my dick then kiss me? No thanks.

  42. Goredeck

    I see that I am in the minority here when I say I do not kiss. Kissing does nothing for me. Now if I meet up with a guy that tells me kissing is the only way his dick gets hard then fine. I would rather blow him, but at the end of the day I will kiss to get him hard enough for penetration.

  43. BI-MARRIED-IN-CLOSET

    Just putting this out there for anyone interested in the perspective of a bi-married-closeted guy: When I kiss my wife, it’s warm, loving, passionate, delicate. When I kiss guys, it’s aggressive, intense, very sexual, full of intense tongue action – bottom line: it’s way HOTTER! Shit – now I’m hard, but trying to do my work LOL. And don’t get me started about kissing 2 guys at once in a 3some – now that’s fucking unreal…..oh shit…gonna cum!

  44. Tighthole4urcock

    I am a married bi guy. But I don’t have sex with men because I enjoy everything about a man. I enjoy the feeling a man can give me that a woman can’t. But as far as kissing goes a woman has more of a tender kiss and soft lips. In addition to no stubble. But what a woman cannot give me is the deep pleasure I get from being fucked by a man. I have had women use strap on and it’s just not the same. In addition the power that a man possess while sliding into me is unmatched. He knows what he wants and has a purpose being there.

    • dale smith

      I’ve yet to kiss a man with lips like sandpaper. Well moisturized lips are soft, gender aside. Besides the whole thrill is a MAN is doing the kissing and the ass fucking and cock sucking

  45. Roy

    When I was younger I use to get turned off when a girl kissed me during sex . Than when I had my first gay experience I got so hot and bothered by him kissing me I had a raging throbbing hard on and exploded like never before . I think kissing is an absolute must during same sex fun . I love sucking cock and I love lots of tongue action but by far kissing is the hottest for me

  46. Mitchell

    I also had that happen to me
    I’m an passionate person who loves to get intimate. I ask the brother to leave my house.

  47. Lenin

    I can be the type of guy who doesn’t kiss to everyone. I just think that a kiss is something special that I won’t give to just anyone. I can cuddle and everything else but kissing. There’s got to be something special. They can have my entire body and do whatever they want. But no a kiss. I was with a fwb for 3 years didn’t kiss until about the third month of being together.

  48. Goldenlover

    i have agreed with a cpl comments here
    BUT i do find kissing does add heat and intensity to the overall experience. my long term guy was the 1st to kiss to me we were both smokers so that was not a prob. i understand if he dont want to because of that. or a random hook up. but overall YESS FOR SURE

  49. nailman

    I so love anything oral, and kissing is near the top of the list! Sliding a guys tongue against mine is a warm up for his cock. And I love kissing after cuming as well, Sharing what is in each others mouth!

  50. FreeSpirit

    @Nailman,
    I would love to drink your saliva while kissing you. And of course, you will feed my manhole with your warm man-milk…


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