Speak Out : Dating Advice
It is coming up on a year of being with my boyfriend. I love him. More than anything. But recently things have been different in our relationship and I’m almost at the point where I want to break up with him, but I can’t bring myself to do it.
Background: We met at Disney Gay Days. It was kind of unconventional but we had an immediate connection. I spent two entire days of the weekend with him. He was staying with some friends and we even left and rented a separate room so we could have sex in private. It was hot! Anywho…we live in two different cities and are doing the long distance thing. When we first started dating, he stressed how he wanted a monogamous relationship and that was definitely not a problem for me. He had told me stories about his ex’s that all cheated on him and I could never do that to hurt him. I legitimately love the guy. He is a very social person, loves to be around people and go to events and travel. He has friends all over the world.
Fast forward to about 9 months in, he came to visit for my birthday and it was a great weekend, but when he left he kinda stopped talking to me. I called him out on it and he apologized, saying that something was missing for him and he doesn’t know what. That weekend I found out he went to Miami to Winter Party and he never told me he was going. I don’t think he did anything but that’s a possibility. After talking it out, things were kind of back to normal, but part of me started to become suspicious of him, and there were all of these little things that have happened to make it worse. I am not the snooping type and I have never had a reason not to trust him.
He has a friend in Canada, and one week he decided to go up there to spend a week with him and his husband. Not that I care that he went up there, but he didn’t tell me until he was literally at the airport waiting to fly to Canada. He took a week off of work to go, which makes me believe that he had this trip planned, so why would he not mention it….
One weekend I went up to visit him. We were supposed to go to Montreal together but long story and I didn’t go. One morning we woke up and he was checking his phone. I honestly just happened to look over and saw a text message from a number that wasn’t saved that said “Good Morning Baby.” He seemed to quickly put his phone down and I didn’t make it known that I saw. That evening, we were in the car and he was driving. He was getting texts and I was messing around on my phone. Every time he would look at the text, reply, and delete it. I had a talk with him about how things were different with us and he said since the Miami thing, its not the same as before but definitely better (This was about 2 months later).
We decided to plan a trip together. We decided to go to Puerto Rico since I had never been. I was excited and everything was good. I found out that he was going to Puerto Rico with his ex boyfriend the weekend before. He never told me about that either. I even spoke to him on the phone the morning he was to leave and he didn’t mention it. It wasn’t until later in the day when I asked him something about the weekend when he told me he was going. Obviously I was upset and I sent him a really long message telling him I can’t handle him being secretive, how I’m not a priority anymore, basically gave him the opportunity to break up with me if he didn’t want to be with me anymore. He told me his ex is in a relationship and he just wanted to reconnect with an old friend, I had nothing to worry about, and “don’t worry, you’re not going anywhere”. (He’s told me before that his circle of friends is getting smaller and he is trying to reconnect with people.)
Recently I found he has a profile on a dating website. Trying to be optimistic I wondered if he had it from before he met me but doing some searching I found that he had logged in the day before. His profile says “Ultimately looking for a relationship. Don’t care for being single.”
My problem: I love him. The thought of not being with him hurts more than knowing that he is doing all of this. Obviously it is pretty clear that he is sleeping around, but it could be that he is just talking (That’s me in denial!) I want to call him out but I don’t know how. I can legitimately see myself marrying this man and sadly I don’t care that he is cheating. But I know deep down that I shouldn’t be with someone who can’t be honest. That is the one thing I ever ask for. I can’t figure out why he is with me. I can tell he loves me….or something…why else would he be with me? He knows how I feel, I’d quit my job and move to be with him, but that would be stupid at this point. I just don’t get it.
Anonymous
You need to ask him about these concerns in a specific manner. You feel he is sleeping around so that makes him a liar. He is being deceptive about his travels and texting with someone who calls him baby while in bed with you. Those aren’t ideal attributes for a lover. You need to decide if you want a good fuck or a loyal partner. This guy can’t be both……………
I am sorry you are going through this. However, life is about choices, plain and simple. He is showing you who he is. You can either choose to be with him and deal with his “stories” / drama, or choose to be without him and his lies. People who take trips without telling their significant others are being “sneaky”. Do you want to be with a “sneak”? or be content on your own?
“When we first started dating, he stressed how he wanted a monogamous relationship and that was definitely not a problem for me. He had told me stories about his ex’s that all cheated on him and I could never do that to hurt him.” First sign of a cheater; they always complain about how their ex’s all cheated on them. It’s like guys who claim to hate drama; always the drama magnets/queens.
Love is many things: It is wonderfully blissful, it is painful, it is blind, it makes you do things that are not in your best interest, it is sometimes destructive, and when the word TRUST comes into play, it can be devastating!
All in all, you must still be open to the pangs of emotion and protect your heart with no known cure for disappointment and despair except turning to the consolation of friends. When trust is compromised, it is very difficult to rebuild a relationship with an element of jealousy entering the picture.
The harsh reality is that you are not dating this guy; you are a convenience for him. You are accepting the situation through your own actions … or lack of them, really. You are not a victim here. You are a willing participant.
Keep doing what you’re doing and you’ll keep getting what you’re getting.
If I were you, I would get rid of him. He is CHEATING. It will hurt you for few months, but as my grandpa always told me: “there are lots of fish in the ocean”.
You better dump that guy. You could do better and find a good person to share your live with.
How many red flags do you need?
You’re in a relationship and your boyfriend isn’t.
Love is shown by actions, not words. His show that he isn’t feeling what you are.
Staying in an unequal, unhappy relationship is an easy choice, not a good one. Take a deep breath, break it off, give yourself a chance to grieve and heal, and then be open to the possibility of meeting someone in the same zipcode.
Well sucks to be you, because now you have to make some decisions… and those are not always fun…
See, some people here will tell you to break it off, like I want to, but cannot because this is not my decision to make. Or some will tell you to stay because you’ve come this far and you can work things out… Compromise, compromise…
But here’s something to help your decision making process…
You need to do this because you really want to stay in focus with your true self (your beliefs, morals, values, etc…) If you lose these, you lose your sanity, and your self worth will plunge…
Ask Yourself these Questions:
How Happy Am I?
Am I happier now that I am in a relationship or more lonely?
Have I tried to change the situation by communicating about it?
If so… have there been changes so far?
How long am I willing to wait to see changes? A month? 6 months?
Can I go for another month/6 months feeling like this?
What if there’s no change(s) after that period?
He might be cheating on you, and you cannot tell if he loves you or something? And you’re willing to quit your job and/or marry him? What??
How is that loving yourself and being with someone who loves closely or completely similar as to how you would love you?
Yes, the uncertainty of the future is scary, but isn’t life an adventure? And settling for someone that is not right for you, is definitely not healthy.
Just do not even try to meet anyone on A4A the guys on there are only interested in playing games and not really wanting to meet anyone at all. What a bunch of messed up guys….
Someone always gets hurt when things aren’t out in the open. Maybe he wants the relationship but also needs outside attention. It’s actually pretty typical for a guy to be like that. No judgement on you or him, but it sounds like you are holding on to what you want him to be and not holding on to what is going to make you happy. But I could be wrong. If you think that this is what you want and you are truly going to be happy then work it. Get everything out in the open. Tell him everything that you’ve seen and felt. See what he says. Then make your choice. Plenty of guys do the “open relationship” thing.
Best of luck! That’s a tough spot to be in. Been there myself.
DRAH MA
Anonymous is a co-dependent. No wonder Mr. Wonderful is distancing himself from Mr. Cling-On.
good to be honest n true to prevent miss interpretations
Heres my advise. You valve obviously lost total control of your life. Im sure he’s wonderful in many ways, but very destructive to you in other ways. Believe me when I tell you there is a wonderful guy out there that you will meet. You can’t commit to your current boyfriend be cause he truely is not committed to you. He may love you but he can’t totally commit to you. My advise is to pull back with him. See other guys, You’ll either find your way to each other or not. But don’t stay on this destructive path.
Good luck
don’t cry cause it’s over.. smile cause it happened
Echa Pa’ Lante!
You are pathetic. Move on with your life.
You really need to move on from this relationship. I just wnt through something similar. Things are not going to get better. The most important part of any long distance relationship is communication. If your boyfriend will not tell you his travel plans, if innocent as he claims they are, then he is not telling you something else: he is cheating on you. Trust your gut instinct, it is telling you the right thing to do.
What does this guy have to do, fuck someone in front of you before your realize he’s not that into you?
Being needy, or having no self-esteem is a big turn-off and clearly you are showing how very needy you are. Seems like you need to examine your own priorities and work on yourself before you venture into a relationship. For many people the idea of being in relationship is the end all but relationships are a lot of work requiring honesty and the participation of both people involved.
Happiness can involve a real love but unless love starts within yourself, you will have nothing to give to anyone else.
You gave up sex to quick . Leave him . He doesn’t love you the same you love him apparently. That is if he even loves you .
I am not so sure you’re a match made in heaven my dear. It seemed that he fell out of love or lust already and your oxytocin is still high in your blood. You got all the red flags to move on darling, how many more you need? Look inside you and put what you need and want in a relationship and then you can make that right decision, including deciding to stay with him even with all the secrets and possible cheating he is doing and would be doing. You deserve better and there are a lot of gays out there that has the same values as you are. Good luck.
I’ve been in the same position as you before and I used to ignore my instincts and intuition when they told me that my ex was cheating. And it wasn’t until I had definitive proof that he was cheating that I finally accepted it. I would suggest to you not to wait, from what you’ve written it seems quite clearly that he is definitely cheating on you and you should care enough about yourself to break up with him! I know it’ll hurt but it’ll only get worse in the long run. That’s just my opinion. Good luck with everything!
Find another man. If you suspect something is up then believe your intuitions!! And to be honest, as much as you want to be in a relationship, men are cheaters! They get tired of the same person very fast. Get yourslef good friends and friends with benefits and stop needing someone who will make you miserable. Trust me, I’m 59 years old and have been in numerous relationships. Most men (Not all) are pigs and need a change every hmmm few months or years!
Do you really want to marry this guy? You need to ask yourself first, why do you love this man? If the answer is only based on the magic of his good looks or sex, you are in trouble! There are lots of other magicians out there that can do the same for you. The real question is, does he support and fulfill you emotionally as well?
Marriage is a serious commitment that is legally binding and ties you two physically, mentally, emotionally, and financially. If you think things will improve once he says “I do” you are starting off on the wrong foot. Marriage isn’t going to change this man, and neither can you. In fact, the whole thing could easily get worse.
You really need to have a good talk and let him know what you are thinking and how you feel. Don’t argue, and don’t accuse. Those things will quickly lead nowhere. If this man really loves you, and wants to be with you, he will respond to a gentle but firm approach. He will be concerned about YOUR feelings.
New relationships are like a giant shot of endorphins with both partners walking on a cloud. Eventually our feet do touch the ground again. That is when there needs to be real. mutual. emotional bonds and RESPECT in place to keep that magic going. Some guys are endorphin junkies. When they need a new fix, they are off somewhere else to get it.
And if being in an open relationship, or marriage, means to one or both of you, that someone is just there to fall back on when they don’t have someone else, that is abusive.
I suspect he is preying on some insecurities you might have. Real love doesn’t behave that way. Before you have that talk with him you should take an honest self inventory. Learn to love yourself first, without becoming just another over inflated dick about it. Self confidence when correctly placed is truly sexy!
Am I making some sense here? Best of luck to you!
Hmmm… tough situation. My first reaction is to say: “run for the hills!”. I don’t think the relationship will work, and if you do want to stay in it, I would say you should be ready for poor communication, and almost surely being OPEN.
I wonder though… why didn’t either of you move to be with the other? Almost a year is a little too long for a long distance thing. I happen to think a long distance relationship isn’t a real relationship unless there is a real foundation to it (meaning: you both live in the same place and have a relationship, and THEN one of you has to move away temporarily).
If you love him so much, I would bring up your concerns and tell him you want the relationship to be more serious and committed… and start talking about one of you moving. But let me be clear: I DON’T THINK IT WILL WORK IN THE LONG RUN. The foundation of dishonesty is already there.
Sorry to say that there are so many red flags flying, you might as well be outside the Kremlin. Time to take stock and do what’s best for you. Handling these questionable texts and trips in a forthright manner is a good start. Tell him what you’ve told us — the texts and his secretive behavior are bothering you, and that you need an explanation. It’s not cool and not fair to you. That he knows you’d move to be with him but hasn’t asked is the last straw. Please don’t set yourself up for more heartache.
I’m not a therapist, so I can only tell you what I think, and what I’d be inclined to do were it me. The first question you need to ask yourself is, “What do I want?” If you want a monogamous relationship, this guy is not the path to that. He likes to have a buffet of sexual partners, no matter what he says. If you are OK with an open relationship, there is a chance of success, but only if he is willing to be honest with you about his past sexual experiences. There would also need to be clear and unambiguous rules about future hook-ups outside the relationship. Only you and he can figure what works best for your circumstances, but definitely there would need to be total transparency about what happened before in order to move ahead
Hey you need to move on he is not right for you. You are better then this and your letting him get away with it. I was in and 18 year relatoinship and my ex partner did the same to me. I came to realize he didn’t respect me if he could tell me the truth. Luis
The problem is, Dear, that you’re too bloody NEEDY!
Raise your self-esteem a little by telling him good bye…watch him come flying back like a banshee. Been working for women for millennium 😀
He is probably just keeping you around as a fall back guy. He is dating looking for greener pastures but keeps you until the next guy he wants date. I say just call him say you just can’t handle it and you need a break take a vacation and don’t tell him where your going and don’t awnser his call. The bacteria on part is so he can’t just show me on your door step. After being away from him you should have time to evaluate if you’re u want to proceed. Either he will shape up after knowing that you won’t be clingy or at his beak and call or he won’t care that much which means your not important to him.
I agree with the first response that you should talk to him about your specific concerns. If you react based on your assumptions of how he “should” be (perhaps, how you would be under somewhat similar circumstances, such as communicating with an ex that you would still consider to be a friend), then you’re not being very fair to him. Everyone has a different sense of how someone “should” act in a situation – and you might be victim to assuming that your way is his way, when neither of them is necessarily resulting in something that is difficult to defend as OK, such as having sex with someone outside of your relationship without permission beforehand (which very few people would actually accept as an OK thing when in a romantic relationship).
You’ve identified that you don’t think he should be texting with other people who would refer to him as ‘babe’ or ‘baby’ (is he responsible for someone else’s communication style?). He shouldn’t delete texts quickly. He should tell you about any plans he has to meet other guys, regardless of the nature of their relationship, before he goes to meet them… and more. However, you’ve also indicated things like pointedly not talking about what you’ve observed when you’ve observed it – like the text message of “good morning baby”. Why didn’t you? If it was nothing, it would have been resolved then and there, and you both would have had a better understanding about what is OK, and what’s not. Instead, you didn’t give either of you that opportunity, and have instead dwelled on it for however many months (at which point, he might not even remember it). Maybe he thinks you did see it, didn’t respond, and therefore have no issue with it. Until you talk, you won’t know.
If you truly love him, you owe to yourself (not him, but yourself), to talk with him before making unilateral decisions. Otherwise, you risk breaking up with him possibly unfairly (benefit of the doubt), and even if it were to be fairly, you really wouldn’t know that.
Flip-side: If he had similar doubts about you for any reason and is reacting similarly to you, by not saying anything when you have something to say, would you not feel like you deserve an opportunity to talk about it before he just makes a decision to end your relationship?
Consider that even if he’s been cheating, or at least conducting himself in ways you feel betray your trust, then taking the opportunity to talk about it helps you. Worst case, it hones an ability to resolve difficult personal situations in an open and respectful manner, and you’ll go into your next relationship better-equipped to keep it going. But don’t assume he’s betraying your trust when he doesn’t have a full understanding of what you believe your trust boundaries should be.
he’s just trying to figure out a way to get rid of a clingy, needy, unhappy guy like you! grow the fuck up!..and get a life!
That story was long..and it’s only been a year ?? Hunny the Disney dust has settled..time for a reality check..men are animals..so log as erectile dysfunction isn’t slowing them down.. they will continue to prowl..straight..gay..bi..they all keep an eye out for what’s close by.. to see what else they can get..you need to find a penguin..committed to their partner for life..and your man ain’t one..do yourself a favour and ignore this guy..if he wants you he will come get you..if he doesn’t que sera..move on..life is short..you deserve better.
Seems way too complicated. This is why I love being happily single. Why is there a need to be in a relationship? I just don’t get it! The best thing about being gay is the freedom. No pressure to marry or have kids! It would be so sad to miss out on that freedom.
OMG, what an idiot. Sorry for being blunt, but been there, done that. I can see myself in you and so I can relate. I was an idiot in “love,” too. But not to THIS degree, though. After the first lie about his plans, I would have been gone right away. But for the 5th time? You know what they say about fool me once…?
He is just NOT that into you. Get that into your head and leave him be. You do not need him as much as you think you do, believe me. That’s just your hormones and brain chemicals messing up the rational part of your brain and so you can’t think properly. Give it some time and you will just be laughing at this situation (what was I thinking?!) like I am now with my own experience.
I mean, never mind that gay male relationships are so unstable because you’re putting 2 people together who are biologically made to want to have sex with as many people as they want all the time, but to put the factor of being long-distance on top of it?! Not gonna work. Yeah, there may be those one-in-a-million exceptions out there. But nope, not gonna work.
There is nobody who could complete you but yourself. If you are not happy with and by yourself, you shouldn’t be in a relationship because you are certainly not gonna be completed by somebody else.
This sounds like a classic case of I want someone I can’t have , BUT HE WON’T LET YOU……and yet he thinks he has you on the fishing line.THERES SETTLING….AND THEN THERES SETTLING FOR LESS THAT WHAT YOU WANT OR DESERVE…
CALL HIM OUT ON IT!!!…
First of all, people here saying you’re pathetic or what not….no its not pathetic to expect a supposed boyfriend to be honest and be stand up and show his care- love and life with you, and no you aren’t always going to know everything about someone ever, but you would hope you could…..and that he could be the same with you ….with out leaving you feeling not worthy of what you want from him and vice versa,…
Gay men for some reason, I find and hae met and I read about more & more too much are not geared to stay monogamous for the most part …….not for long…which is sad…..Don’t think becuz you are gay , or two men that he can’t be held accountable and copable for his actions….just like you as well.
It really is too bad that he is doing these things…. def Trust factors are way off, and on top of it….you are allowing him to do this….CALL HIM OUT ON IT!!!!.
WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO LOSE?…..A lying SNAKE , A CHEAT OR SOMEONE THAT JUST DOESN’T CARE AND LOVE YOU LIKE YOU OBVIOUSLY DO OF HIM.
NAH… CALL HIM OUT ON IT!!!….DON’T TOLERATE MEDIOCRE ANYTHING, ANYONE THAT TELLS YOU THAT YOU ARE PATHETIC TO WANT HIM…..OR THAT YOU WANT HIM TO BE HONEST IF ANYTHING….,,,ITS BS. THAT’S JUST COWARDESS AND ITS STUPID TO EVER TOLERATE ANYONE’S TERRIBLE BEHAVIOR …..YOU LOVE YOU ENOUGH TO TELL HIM HOW IT IS…..AND ITS GONNA BE OR ELSE…..ITS CALLED BOUNDARIES….AND YOU VERY MUCH HAVE TO RIGHT TO NOT LET HIM CROSS THEM.YOU SAY
YOU GOTTA GO…..
AND YES YOU MAY HURT….BUT ASK YOURSELF THIS.. DO YOU REALLY THINK YOU DESERVE ANYTHING LESS?…..OR ANYTHING LIKE WHAT HES DOING NOW….COME ON NOW DUDE….
HEY, I MIGHT BE SINGLE AS OF 8 YEARS NOW….AND MY LAST EX IS A GREAT GUY BUT HIS LIFE WAS GOING IN ANOTHER DIRECTION AS WAS MINE…..AND YET HE IS THE ONLY ONE I REMAIN IN CONTACT WITH…. THE PREVIOUS WERE ALL ABUSE VICTIMS AND OR JUST COULDN’T STICK AROUND THRU SOME TOUGH TIMES….THEN YOU WONT EVER LAST WITH ME…AND YOU SHUOLD HAVE THE SAME …..SO I CUT THEM LOOSE….AND TRUST ME..NO ONE HAS EVER CHEATED ON ME….I WONT TOLERATE IT…I CAN DEAL WITH ALOT OF SH*T BUT THAT IS DEPLORABLE FOR ANYONE TO THINK THEY CAN DO AND KEEP DOING IT AND GETTIN AWAY WITH IT….YOU SOUND LIKE A CATCH…BE CAUGHT BY SOMEONE WHO WILL KEEP YOU….COMMUNICATION AND TRUST….IF YOU DONT HAVE THAT….ITS NOT GONNA WORK…LIKE A VERY DEAR AUNT OF MINE SAID YEARS AGO ….MIND YOU SHE WAS MARRIED THE FIRST TIME VERY YOUNG AT THE TIME …YOU CAN LOVE SOMEONE TO DEATH…WANT THEM, CRAVE THEM, ETC ETC, BUT IF YOU DON’T TRUST THEM…..ITS NEVER GOING TO LAST.
AND BTW …. ITS NOT CLINGY TO WANT HIM .AND FOR HIM TO BE DECENT ….YOU LIKE HIM….YOU LOVE HIM…YOU WANT HIM……CLINGY IS WHEN SOMEONE DOESN’T HAVE A LIFE OF YOUR OWN, THAT YOU LIVE VICAROUSLY THRU THEM…THAT’S CLINGY..TO WANT TO BE WITH SOMEONE…BE WITH THEM , YES IT SHOULD BE MUTUAL….BUT AGAIN TO BE HELD ACCOUNTABLE/COPABLE OF DISGUSTING DEPLORABLE-CHEATING-LYING-DODGEY BEHAVIOR….DOES NOT MAKE YOU CLINGY
Looking at this from an outsider’s view, it seems that this guy is projecting all the crap he went through, and now he’s doing it to you. The Red Flags are a waving my friend. Before you get in any deeper take a hard look at what’s best for you. Loving someone is one thing, but becoming a doormat to be walked on is a whole other thing. Being able to trust anyone is a risk, so I understand you wanting to give him the benefit of the doubt. You need to have a serious conversation with him, spelling out just what you want. Good luck.
The first sign of a commitment in a long-distance relationship is limiting the long-distance and moving toward a long-term dating, have one move in, and then take it from there. The fact neither one of you have even discussed that tells me (a) the “victim” who is “anonymous” is co-dependent and needing drama not commitment; and (b) the “perpetrator” is simply working a good thing for a nice piece of ass while it works. I’ll bet he’s the top.
Tell him to fuck off, go to Provincetown or San Francisco or Ibiza for a week — where you will indeed meet another guy or two or 12 — and forget him. He’s taking you for a ride. Life is too short, move on — NOW!
Sometimes you just got to ask yourself if the fucking your getting is worth the fucking your getting, and in your case you need to quickly loose 175 pounds and get a new man interest.
Sorry to sugar coat it for you.
Pretty simple
Grow a pair & get the fuck out
Your concern read like a page out of a journal I could have written a few tears ago. There are many of us out there. I read each of the entries and have to agree with almost all the suggestions. Move on, you deserve more and will find happiness after a short grieving period. I did and would never go back even if I could. Do a self evaluation and determine what you really want in life, once we understand ourselves and who we are we realize our own self-worth. You will and see that you are no one’s door mat no matter how often he tells you “you are not going any where”.. he hit the nail on the head and did not realize it. You are going no where … with him. You will go places because you DO NOT need him. Good Luck you can handle this.
Dear Young Man,
I have been lucky ,I have had the love of my life, he gone and not sure if I want to get back out there in this mess the new gays call life, or the gay scene, my advise to you is cut ur losses and get the hell away from this person, you travel so you must have a good job which lets you go, enjoy yourself get rid of the baggage
Sounds so familiar, been in a situation like that before.. even the disney part sounds familiar. I say you are doing a disservice to yourself by staying and doing more harm to yourself than anything. All the signs are there that he doesn’t have the same commitment to you as you do with him. Sounds like he’s cheating, be it emotionally or physically, it doesn’t matter. If you love yourself you’ll do whats best for you and break up with him otherwise you enjoy this treatment. Even if you question, bring things up and try to converse with him about your concerns, he sounds like someone that will smooth talk it over and make you feel secure for a little, but then the same pattern will become noticeable again. Just dump him, take care of yourself and move on. Situations like these aren’t worth it, life is short.
Oh honey, it breaks my heart to read this, but this guy, as great as he is, is a long distance”string along”. You’re merely an option for him, whereas he is your
main man, yes he is fuckin’, because you’re not in his face to remind him of the bond, and is definitely not a man of his word, my advice, you can love him from afar as a platonic friend, divest your love, and apply it to more worthy guy in your neck of the woods.
Yep! Not a nice situation to be in. You have ALL the power to control your own destiny and happiness.
STOP and take a look, are you happy or are you suffering within?
If you are suffering then it is your responsibility to see that you have put your happiness and fulfilment in the hands of someone who isn’t interested in your happiness and fulfilment.
Time to take back control
Good Luck x
to me it sounded like the disney (hmmmm let’s just say he’s a top, i suspect he is) guy treated you like his next fling and said pretty words to you, to keep you around.
at this stage, i don’t think even confronting him would do any good, just run away as far as you can from him, don’t answer his calls, text. ignore the hell out of him and move on with your life. once a cheater, always a cheater.