Speak Out : Too Much Porn?
(photo : Sean Cody)
This post was written by a member of A4A, if you wish to submit one blog post, please send it to blog at adam4adam dot com
Hello there A4A,
I have been wanting to raise awareness on something I’ve not only been hearing from many hetero men but have witness myself in our gay community. Gay men are so addicted to porn it’s affecting our sexual life. I’ve notice that many men need some kind of drugs to even feel aroused nowadays. Porn has desensitized us to reality. Also, its why many men become incredibly superficial and only want “big dicks”. They want to recreate that favorite scene they like to jack off to. I know because sex with my partner was declining so we decide to stop watching porn after watching a youtube video from Ted Talks of a man called Ran Gavrieli (highly recommended).
It’s been 3 months now and sex has become more intimate more sexual and satisfying. Many men even claim improved focus on their families, work, and school as well. In our gay world where we have so much sex but virtually no intimacy it’s no wonder gay men need drugs, pain, or extreme fetishes to even get off. We are ruining a great experience that is intimate sex for ourselves. Even if it’s just a “hook up” sex is losing its true pleasure and becoming another empty void to solitude and unhappiness.
What are your thoughts on this?
Anonymous
Best post ever. I feel the same way its like gay men are conditioned to have all these negative characteristics because of porn. Porn can be good but from what I experienced its not the best thing for the gay community. For example why are there porn companies at gay pride events
I’m curious as to how the poster draws the conclusion that people take drugs because of porn. “Gay men are so addicted to porn it’s affecting our sexual life. I’ve notice that many men need some kind of drugs to even feel aroused nowadays.” It sounds like the poster has been hanging around too many tweakers for too long.
The desire/fascination with “big dicks” also has no correlation to porn any more than enjoying tasty food is caused by watching too much Food Network.
I don’t deny that some people can let watching porn affect their day-to-day life, but this post reads like a piece from the “porn panic” days of the 1980s.
On a side note, I enjoy the irony of there being pictures of porn adorning an adamantly anti-porn post.
Porn-induced erectile dysfunction is becoming a real problem. I am speaking with a therapist about this right now. I’m the product of over 12 years of watching porn (which I thought was a good thing) but now it had led me to a point where practically nobody was attractive to me anymore. I would pass that up for the latest belami boy video release. I also noticed that my attraction to male ass kept becoming more of a fetish and if a guy didn’t spread his asshole open wide then I couldn’t get aroused. A man’s body started losing its appeal to me as I was only interested in the hole. (I’m sure many men with this situation have a similar fixation on dick to the point where they are almost not attracted to anything else.) It is VERY dangerous.
At this point I have canceled all my subscriptions and have been going back to the things that had turned me on when I was a teenager and just beginning to explore my sexuality. So far I’m not yet “healed” but it has been a good experience just taking things down a notch from all the high definition theatrics seen in porn that is very artificial and unrealistic!
And by the way I don’t need anybody yelling at me for my views. I’m just stating my opinion and experience should there be anyone facing similar issues.
I completely agree as well. If I get fucked, I no longer have a desire to cum. I’ll just cum watching some hot porn after getting fucked. I have learned to get off at the idea of my top getting off. I’ve tied in the past to break my habit of watching porn and jacking off every day but just can’t seem to do it. I’m so enticed and desensitized from watching porn I know it effects my sexual life.
I must say that I enjoy watching a short porn clip each day. I’m not into watching an entire video for hours, but do like to see some hot man on man action to spice up my day. I’m single and would never have porn playing during a casual hookup or if I had a partner. That to me is a slap in the face in the event one of us is too boring and you need something else to look at in order to make it through the hookup. If you are watching it for hours, then you have way too much time on your hands. We need to keep both heads clear in order to function each day….lol.
I’ve been with the same guy for 3 years now, and we find that turning on some porn is incredibly arousing during foreplay and sex. It also helps us to “break the ice” when discussing new things we want to try with each other. It’s so easy to see something and just say, “Hey, let’s try that.” What’s too much all depends on the person(s) more than the actual porn. If porn is a problem for you, it’s really just your problem. Please don’t try to speak for all of us.
How true. What’s worse is men who are addicted to hookup apps and can’t put their phone down and have a real conversation.
I can see that point. When I was 13 and started jacking off I could do it with no extra help. I wanted to see porn but back in the day a 14.4 Kb modem was top of the line plus I didn’t know where to find it. It wasn’t until I turned 18 got my first credit card and a cable modem that I even looked for prom. But until then I could jack off with not help. But as I started watching porn it greatly heightened the experience and the orgasam was in fucking believable. It also made me want to try the real thing. So it’s the orgasm being so great I wanted more until finally I generally need something to cum. I can still have sex without watching porn but I need either an erotic story or a video to jack off. I have tried to reduce my porn viewing before because I did feel it was numbing my sexual response but after a few days of not being able to jackoff to completion I relented.
I totally agree. Also most men just watch the first few minutes of the scene and the last few minutes at the end. That’s why I feel it’s so hard for gay men to be in committed relationships and not want open or threesomes or group play l the time
I tend to agree with this article,iam a married bi guy who can’t get enough gay porn,l really don’t get much man to man action because of my situation,but l download alot of gay porn everyday
Can there be too much porn in someone’s life? ABSOLUTELY! I have personally known several porn addicts (one couldn’t get off in the “real world” unless he was also watching porn!)
But is it porn’s fault? No more than it is the ocean’s fault when someone drowns in it…
Porn is FANTASY. The same loss of focus, desensitization, and obsession can be applied to ANY source of fantasy: online role-playing games (which broke MY marriage), comic books, super-FAN-dom for nearly any TV series (trekkers, and the like), and of course porn!
If you watch porn and retain the knowledge that it is FANTASY, and neither reality, nor a credible representation of reality, then you should be able to enjoy it in good health. However, if porn BECOMES your sex life, or becomes an “ideal” to which you aspire in your sex life… then you’re in dangerous territory.
But it is not the fault of the porn companies, producers, or actors — it is the responsibility of the consumer to use their products in a healthful and safe manner!
My own personal complaint against porn (also the fault of the USER, not the producers) is the apparent use pf porn as “instructional material” for our younger generation. One of the reasons my own profile suggests that I prefer 30 and older is because too many of the younger set seem to think porn is the “ideal reality” — so they get off and get out, all within 20 minutes (the typical length of a “scene”).
So WHY do americans obsess about porn?
IMHO, its because our parents can’t or don’t talk to their children (budding adults) about sex and relationships, so the younger set is left to use the Internet to learn about them… and in both cases, they get horribly mis-informed.
Chip
Gay porn has sabotage real sexual intimacy between two consenting gay adults. Gay porn brainwashed the minds of unhappy gay men. It is an evil that lurks and kills you until you cannot handle it anymore.
Gay porn promotes the following: 1. Unhealthy and risky sexual behavior. 2.Drugs and STDs 3.Infidelity and promiscuity 4.Narcissism 5.Sexual Deviation/Fetishes
Kudos on an interesting post.
I watch porn from time to time but it is usually one of those 5 minute promo’s or teasers. I haven’t paid for porn in years. There is not a lot new under the sun when it comes to ways to have sex. I like looking at good looking and hot bodied men but I also enjoy watching average men, chubby men and get this, old men having sex. I love the kind of porn where both men are determined to get each other off, where there is lots of kissing and no strict top or bottom! I hate porn where one guy is just used and if he gets off at all, it is because he jacks himself off. Finding the kind of porn I like is difficult so by default I don’t watch a great deal of it.
Don’t understand your premise: Hetero-men have been telling you that gay men are watching too much porn? Or do you mean hetero-men have been telling you they are watching too much porn, and you think gay men are watching too much porn, too.
Actually, I only look at porn when I can’t get the real thing.
So, since I can’t get the real thing very often, I do spend a lot of time watching porn.
By far one of the best post. I have to admit I’m an addict when it comes to porn. Not so much to say that I’m trying to recreate my favorite scene, but more over the relaxation of it all. I do find how ever that the gay community has subsided to the thrills and subjections of the porn industry. I feel as if gay men should cherish what they have and remain humble to the idea that at least they have a true sense of happiness compared to most porn stars that live their lives without a stable foundation of trust because of the work they have subjected themselves to. Love this post
Yes. We live in a desensitized superficially sexual world. Gay men need to escape more than others. I admit I am not immune to it. I hope I am strong enough to withdraw from it.
Totally Agree and best post ever.
All things in moderation.
While I would tend to agree that some men have trouble separating fantasy and reality, that doesn’t mean that porn needs to go away entirely, it just means finding a balance. We still live in a society where sex was so taboo yes, there is more on tv, etc, but it is still a very shameful topic to many as evidenced by the “why are there porn companies at pride events”. Why wouldn’t they be? Sex is just a much a part of any lifestyle as food, fashion, etc., but people are afraid or unwilling to admit that and see sex as something that should be hidden away and never talked about except in the negative.
If people were more willing to communicate with their real life partner about what they were into sexually porn wouldn’t be a problem.
I also don’t understand the connection the author is trying to make between porn and drug usage. These kind of slippery slope arguments are very dangerous. If he is referring to recreational drugs, the idea that watching porn will turn you into a drug addict is ludicrous and if you’re referring to erectile dysfunction drugs that’s insulting to those with genuine medical erectile dysfunction almost akin to the old wives tale “you’ll go blind if you masturbate”.
In the end I just see this as another “this is how I think people should be and if you’re not then you’re wrong” diatribe. And just a new facet by which to judge each other. When you sit in judgment, remember that a good portion of people think your very existence is wrong. You don’t want to be judged for being gay so why judge the way others spend their free time.
I feel the same, glad someone is on the same page.you have to remember porn is full of actors and doesn’t reflect the average person.And when we try to fulfill that fantasy it becomes an hard act to follow.therefore we get lost along the way….mmmmmmm
The porn industry catered to heterosexual men for many years prior to the proliferation of gay porn.The excessive amount of porn watching is not solely an issue within in the gay community. Many heterosexual couples have problems due to men watching too much porn. The purpose of watching porn is to fantasize and escape into a sexual realm that might just be a bit taboo in your personal life. To use a broad brush to paint such a generalization on the whole gay community is speculative. Pornography does not make people superficial, pornography does not make men crave drugs for sexual arousal, and pornography does not desensitize people to reality. The reality of the situation is, people have addictive personalities, people are superficial, and people don’t have a grip on reality. The need/want for pain, drugs, and extreme fetishes is not only within the gay community.
I admire your ability to recognize an issue in your own relationship and move forward to fix it, but to state you know that porn does all these things because you and your partner went through a rough patch is hardly a basis to raise awareness on an issue that affects such a small sect of the gay and heterosexual community.
I can only speak for myself when I say; I have a healthy sex life free of drugs, pain, and fetishes. I enjoy watching porn, and to this point in my life it has not made me superficial or drug addicted.
I’d rather have porn than meet someone
This is totally true and is not being address, it’s destroying relationships
You do realize that there is tons more straight porn than gay porn out there…. right? Just sayin….
Great discussion. I am sure there is some truth to what you are saying. Is it just gay guys, or is this a problem for a much wider range of guys?
it can become a problem to a wide range of guys. porn is mostly catered to the male clientele depending on his sexual orientation. there’s hardly any porn for women, maybe some ‘erotica’ as they like to call it or a ’50 shades’, so this seems to be an almost exclusive male problem to this degree.
i’m not anti-porn, but i think they need to promote safer sex and not promote so much bb like seriously!
Porn is like money, one can never have too much of it.
Porn is like booze or drugs – it can be abused. As to intimacy- its over rated. Been there done that bought the T shirt.
As much as I agree with the fact that porn is making sex lose its intimacy, but I don’t agree with the drug argument. I tend to get nervous before having sex, so smoking pot (I’m in California and have my medical card for anxiety and to help me go to sleep after working my overnight shift’s [I’m an emergency vet tech]) before meeting up with a guy helps me calm down and even enhances sex.
I agree with this post. Most people look at porn and then expect the same in real life…it’s fun to play around with a partner and a good porn but not something you want to bass your relationship or life off of. For one, it’s fake…these guys are actors and they also take things for performance and they are edited so what you see might not have went down just that way. I have a friend who is an ex pron star and the things he says will shock you lol
Smh porn it’s the devil. Porn has turned me on to things I’ve never thought I’d be into. It’s like I’m not having “good sex” unless there spit and armpits involved. Smh I watch porn to jack off and just because. I even watch it while on the crapper. I don’t care for “vanilla” porn. I like porn to be about the fantasy of things I would never try. The problem is that I sometimes end up trying those things…eventually.
I think porn is just fantasy. Some want to have that everlasting fantasy with hot muscles hung man. So their block the real world. And focus on their fantasy.
Respectfully, I must disagree with the implication that porn is somehow the principal origin of the drug issue, the quest for “big dicks,” extreme fetishes, and the lack of intimacy. I am 56 years old and have been sexually active since I was 14. That’s 42 years of sexual conditioning. And since Day One, I have had no interest whatsoever in porn. None. In fact, I can quite vividly remember the very first porn that someone tried to get me to watch, in 1974: Boys in the Sand, using a Super-8mm movie projector and “screened” on a white wall. It killed the mood completely. I have always said that if I cannot do it myself, why in the world would I want simply to watch it? And on the very rare occasions that I have watched porn, it has never once gotten me aroused. When “hooking up,” I always ask that any porn be turned off lest it actually dampen my interest! And yet despite my own aversion to porn, I still am something of a size queen. Clearly my own preference for big dicks did not come from watching porn! And even at 56, I have never used any ED meds to get aroused. I am aggressively hostile to meth use in any amount or frequency. I do not believe that “desensitization to reality” has anything substantive to do with porn. Rather, I believe it is a product of the wider gay culture. Look at this site, for example. How many of the models, posing solo and without displaying their genitalia, are average looking men? Zero. The vast majority of advertising images used in every aspect of gay culture, from bar adverts to HIV med adverts, from travel agencies to your local gay dentist, features men who are decidedly above average in appearance. Porn is not the cause of desensitization. Gay culture as a whole is. The phenomenon precisely mirrors the use in hetero advertising and culture of young beautiful big-breasted women to advertise virtually everything. Our debate mirrors that of the debate among hetero women. As for the decline of intimacy, I would blame that on the computer era and sites like this one. No one phones each other anymore; they “text.” No one takes the time and personal effort to write a letter; they email. Intimacy begins with two people occupying a single close physical space and communicating through voice and body language. It cannot ever be achieved via a keyboard and monitor screen. You want intimacy? Turn off your computer, your TV, and your stereo and have a face-to-face conversation, without interruption or distraction. And for goodness sake, do not expect intimacy in a casual hookup with a relative stranger! Intimacy is built over time. It does not appear magically when you knock on the door of some piece-of-strange!
I understand about the too much porn issue but for me it help me get off by myself and sometimes with others.. Being an older guy i need as much help as possible. Porn does give gay men a a higher level to achieve during regular sex with their lovers.
Well written and informative and Ted talks covers intellegent info sadly I agree and I love porn but it does have a negative side for str 8 and gays
Excellent post. I also do saw the TedTalks, and believe there is something to the theory of porn desensitizing us.
Maybe people should consider doing an experiment and giving it up for a month and assess the benefits, or even if not. Can’t hurt, and is worth the try to enhance intimacy and relationships.
Good luck.
Sean Cody wants more exposure is all…..and wants your $ also…I’ll stick with free porn and get my nut busted for free…daily vs. paying for what they call “Quality Porn”…lol
And as I read this blog I notice to the right of the comment box are GIFs of gay porn. While I agree with the sentiment in your blog, this isn’t just a gay issue. Porn in general, including heterosexual, creates preconceptions of how sex “should” be between two adults.
Watching overly attractive models, both men and women, diminishes the physical attraction between any given couple. Expectations are set too high when seeking intimacy with your partner and both are left feeling unfulfilled.
Like everything else. Moderation is the key. It is hard to get away from when it is constantly thrown in your face, but communication and a lot of foreplay when done right, can rekindle intimacy with your partner provided you are both willing to work at it.
You’re totally right. Porn is so accessible that it’s become like a drug itself. We’ve become addicted to it, and have unrealistic expectations based on it. It’s no different than TV. TV, while entertaining, doesn’t allow any room for creativity, as they do all the thinking for you. And therefore, we look to videos and can’t quite find the right one because no video will work as well as our fantasies. Here’s hoping that we can lessen the time wasted watching porn, utilize our time creating better fantasies, and make better connections with our partners.
I understand why some of us feel this way, why porn can make a dent in love life, but the thing to remember is, no one is asking us to watch it. We have the rite click yes or no. Porn companies or studios only sups what is in demand. It’s up to us to watch or not watch porn. Remember, there are people who choose to be victims of there surcumsatances or surroundings, then there are survivors. Whether you watch or not, is strictly up to you.
This is a good post, yet however when you are one who can’t find someone and repeatedly rejected cause you are not skinny then about all ya have is porn sometimes. No I am not into wierd fetishes or crave only big dicks. I just try to be me and seems soo many guys in my area are huge d bags or superficial cause they judge solely on size! I do also know that part is cause I’m not out. But that doesn’t make me a bas person, or someone who isn’t worth getting to know. If I find the right person maybe they can change my mind on that part. But at same time again it is a good post, but for someone in my position porn is all I have for the time being. Not like I haven’t tried for more outside that. Has been over 2 years since had any significant fun. I don’t want andom hookups. A friend to hang with and go out and have sex whenever we want be cool. And just go from there, cause I’m more a go with the flow type as well can also be kinda shy at first. I wish porn wasn’t all I had but it is right now. And I don’t go fo4 the piss, fisting, pain, scat, or anything like tha5 at all!
I watch porn to masterbate to. I am single. When I do land a boyfriend though, I won’t need to watch porn anymore. I will have sex and pictures/thoughts of him to get me off. That’s plenty good for me and it is way healthier both physically and mentally.
My biggest complaint about this site is that it is impossible to log on and not see pornographic ads. It’s bad enough guys use their penis or ass as a profile picture. I watch porn a lot due to my high sex drive, but I do it at the times of my choosing. I don’t need to be bombard by it the rest of the day. A4A has a great product though, so I keep coming back…
i agree that porn has hijacked our sexual lives. but being bi for almost 50 years, i found long before porn was readily available, that the key to good sex was intamacy, knowing your partner, enjoying their company and the exchange of things that make each of you feel good. I have had my share of blow and go’s but the best sex was with someone I knew, more than just the size of his dick or if he was a top or a bottom. A relationship, not necessarily for a long term commitment, but a knowledge of each others minds makes great sex.
Porn is good for masterbation when you are alone. Too much porn will desentisize your desire in sexual pleasure and intimacy even when you are actually with a real person that even looks like the porn star which is unlikely. Sure porn will give ideas about sexual positions and fetishes but eventually they all look the same but with different performers. It’s not easy to go quitting cold turkey on porn especially when it’s so readily available free on the Internet for you to access at your convenience any time and men are too visual creatures to give up on eye candies. I used to collect and download porn for several years but haven’t really come back to watch most of the movies although I only select some scenes in some of the porn that turn me on the most. Then again the desentization will kick in so I have to lay off it and keep myself occupied with work and other things. I know it’s addictive but bad habit is hard to get rid off.
What a bunch of sweeping overgeneralizations. The writer is posting opinion as fact, anecdote as proof, and seems to believe that if it’s that way for him, it’s that way for everyone.
That’s like saying “too much chocolate”. No such thing. I can’t take this blog seriously anyways… Not after the “Ear Syringe to clean ur butt out ” recommendation or especially the ” dehydrated colon” warning from douching with a hose. Which is the ONLY way to get deep cleaned for those DEEPLY intimate moments. My Dr laughed about the dehydrated colon btw.
It is way to easy to access porn nowadays with our smartphones & the like. It’s also so much easier & safer to just stay home & get off in front of the screen…while chatting with guys about hooking up. I would say it’s partly a circumstance of modern life & partly personal preference..& no doubt numerous other factors. It is legitimately difficult to resist the easy access to the stuff that turns me on when I’m horny…yes! That is definitely big dicks…I also know if I could I would gladly suck dick on camera for a living & so contribute to the massive amount of porn available…it is incredibly intoxicating to perform for an audience. I don’t doubt that resisting exposure to porn would increase real time enjoyment of sex w/ a partner.
No big cocks, been with and had small cocks, very unsatisfying, give me a thick big cock any day and a man who can use it correctly, over a small cock. As far as porn goes, I agree to an extent, most is the same ole, same ole. There is that porn that is really hot and sexual. Today’s porn is mostly Crap. Sex is really in the mind and the mind (brain) is the most sexual organ. fetishes and fantasy are part of the sexual act , it all depends on each individual needs. No one should worry about it just let it flow. sometimes just pleasing someone can be the biggest sexual turn on.
There are porn companies at pride events because that’s where their consumers are. It’s good business and a corporate write-off.
If you don’t like porn, don’t use it.
Yes..Google porn induced erectile dysfunction…lots of info and comments from others about porn addiction and its effects
I love Hot porn in the background during a Hook up or party.
I have to disagree. I love porn. My experience is, it’s you old guys that need the drugs and whatever. It depends on the person and the sexual arousal you have with your partner(s), that determine if you get it up or not. Stop blaming porn.
Best post ever???? Far from it. It is called advertising. That is why porn companies are out there at pride festivities.
I find that our community is too much about judgement and blame then trying to live a life. They “straight community” will continue to harness the gay stereotype and use it against us. I am a 40 year old, gay, married, father of two boys. I am also in the military and I still hear every day – “you don’t act gay”
Very good post, I can’t even tell you how many times I have hooked up with a dude sexually there has to be porn on for them (one of the reasons I don’t like bedroom sex)I consider myself sexually attractive but still there is porn on, it’s in the bars, bathhouses,even in public cruising spots there is porn on mobile, porn particularly our porn, tends to be ridiculously racist, objectifying,incestuous and physically extreme. I’m not anti porn trust me, but I think and passionately believe that average guys with average bodies hot
Gotta have the porn.
My BF and I only hook up on Saturday nights.
The rest of the week I’m on my own.
Porn is the reason why gay men can’t/won’t commit to a relationship. I’ve had Asian men turn me down because I don’t have a foot long dick like Black men in the porn vids. Get rid of porn and go back to simple basics.
@Fett1 (and others talking the same) It’s funny how ignorant you are. “The pill” doesn’t help psychological ED at all. If you can get hard for porn but have issues with the real thing, you can’t be helped with a pill. Lots of people don’t understand this, and the only reason they actually get the pill is because they badger their doctor until they get it. Porn induced psychological ED is VERY real and very embarrassing. I know that for a fact – and I’m not an ‘old guy’.
Porn is porn. Control is control. We know how to use both. Those are lost at choices then that what they picked. At time in our life we do sometime think about relationship or future husband. You have a busy work schedule or a busy career. What can you do? Porn is on the top list alone in bed. We have needs. Stay happy and young and watching porn is not bad. But also safe! We have a choice for both. The person I wouldn’t mind in my life is jacking off in the stale somewhere but also realize I’m here for him and he lets me fuck him in porn situation alike. Then we learned how to make love. Boys are boys but men are men. Old saying but we are men and we love to have sex. Any way as much as possible. Wherever we can get our hands on.
Hey taboi. Did you read my comment or just the old guy line??? Talk about ignorance!!!! Look in the mirror. I did not mention anything about what you mentioned. Have fun in your world.
Some times these articles are nanny like. As noted by others, let’s highlight some ironies here. First, this is being posted on a hook up site (let’s not pretend this exists for men to find Mr. Magic for an exclusive monogamous relationship, okay? Guys are logging on to connect with other guys and, perhaps also, to fantasize about the guy’s whose profiles are listed. Otherwise there wouldn’t be the option for cock and ass hots, to list your status, or to describe what you are looking to do sexually.) Second, this hook up site is largely financed by advertisements for porn. And then third, the blog image is from Sean Cody (I understand that is simply to underscore the point.) While there are obvious downsides to porn, it is a step up in safety from furtively seeking out connections in rest rooms, bars, and the like. It enables privacy. Yes, it provides unrealistic standards (so does the fitness craze, which is driven by the quest for beauty/perfection rather than personal health.)
All i can state here is that most of you are brain washed, followers and can’t take taking your own responsibilities for you own actions and are quick to blame it on others.
This post from “Anonymous” shows being a coward and proves to me he is just another follower and accepting someone else opions as noted … “by that video from Ted Talks of a man called Ran Gavrieli”…yet he is a A4A member (go figure).
Be your own man,grow up and take responsibilities for your own actions/problems in your life.
@Fett1 Yeah actually I did read it. You basically said the only people who have ED issues are “old guys who need pills”. In your mind there is no such thing as porn induced/psychological ED because you don’t have a problem with it. I didn’t either until I did(just recently), and it scared the living shit out of me because I’m too young to have ‘failure to launch’ issues. Then I found out all I had to do is lay off the porn. So I stand my my original observation that you’re an ignoramus.
hey one thing I noticed is, the porn on here tends to be sort of racist. I’ve noticed that when the porn is themed “African American” %90 of the time the characters are stereotypical thugs and illiterates. For example, one of the videos is called “Feets [sic] Down”. (That’s one of a lot of examples) I’m sure we all think higher of our African American friends than that.
-signed,
a white guy.
I wonder if people blame porn so they don’t have to deal with or think about what might be the real reasons they have relationship issues. Blaming porn is like saying I am weak I am easily influenced by entertainment and can’t think for myself, how pathetic!
i think the gay community still needs a lot of growing up to do, there are larger things in life, but almost everything catered to us is very sex themed. nothing wrong with that on itself, but when it’s the only thing that sets our identity as a whole, then that’s something to worry about. our parties, apps and photos very adult playground.
our apps are so nsfw, i don’t even log on when i’m at work. sexy hook ups, dates, guys are the last thing i think about when i’m on an 8 hour shift dealing with bitchy customers lol!