Hookup: The Five Kinds Of Tops You Meet

During the course of your dating life, you’re bound to meet a varied and diverse group of people. That variety and diversity certainly applies to the tops you meet when you’re cruising as well.

No, it’s not just one top you’re meeting when you’re out there — there are a few kinds that will either infuriate you or titilate you, depending on what you’re into. So you don’t go out into the dating scene without being fully informed, here’s our list of the five different kinds of tops you meet when you’re out cruising.

Remember, this is all in lighthearted fun!

1. The Choosy Top

This is the kind of top that is always keeping his eyes open for another option, probably because he knows that there’s bound to be more bottoms than there are tops in the area. You’re probably never going to be his first choice, so interact with him at your own risk.

2. The Daddy Top

Currently the top du jour, he’s what every smooth twink is looking for when they’re out on the prowl. They’re bearded, they’re masculine, and probably remind you of that P.E. teacher you used to have back when you were in high school.

3. The Pushy Top

You usually find these tops in bars and by the time you meet them they’re probably tipsy and on the way to being totally drunk. He’ll crowd you into a corner, touch you when you don’t want to be touched, and will probably try to take you home with him when you really, really don’t want to do so.

4. The Femme Top

The most overlooked top, because everybody’s probably hung up on the idea that tops have to be traditionally masculine. It’s not always the case, but these tops are probably drag queens as well. It’s probably good to keep in mind that your sexual position has nothing to do with your gender expression. Don’t engage in sexual role typecasting!

5. The Fake Top

So you’ve taken the guy home and you’re getting ready to do the deed. You’ve taken off your clothes and about to get lubed up when he tells you, “Maybe you’d like to top me tonight?” While nobody has to be a strict top or a strict bottom, maybe it would be best if these tops made what position they want to take on clear before the clothes come off. It will save everyone involved from a lot of grief.

Adam4Adam blog readers, what are other kinds of tops have you met when you go out and go on dates? Share it with us in the comments section below, and keep in mind that this is all in lighthearted fun. Don’t get too heated in the comments!

There are 21 comments

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  1. Kasper

    Then, there is the ‘abysmal top! A top who thinks he is a top when the only thing he can top is a Sunday!

    Then, there are the savages who are dangerous as they have no skills and just plough right into you…hurt, tear, ride wildly and pull out just as abruptly: all action but no pleasure.

    Then, there are those who take forever to copulate; they ride endlessly while you endure the marathon…and when they finally do copulate, you look like a slice of veal…all length but no depth!

    Then, there are those who can never find the entrance or who can’t mount it and spend endless hours searching or mounting with no angle or push: it’s all ‘search and futility’.

    Last, but not least, the ones who come so quickly, you have to ask yourself: …”was he ever in”?

    • homoNOTgay

      It’s amazing what is revealed more about some gay bottoms here, than tops. Some of you are obviously real campy at the bars, and that tends to breed negativity. What you’re really doing is ‘looking for love’ , . . . desperately, . . . not a sex partner. But of course, love can’t be looked for : it finds you ! You would be loved a LOT more by not being so damned NEGATIVE about your sex partners and learn to express YOURSELF, ….but WITHOUT words ! That’s the key to a satisfying connection.
      Lose the group, ( if they were so happily attached, they wouldn’t be at bars!), think for yourself, and look in the mirror for the answers.

      • Kasper


        What you read is my sense of humor and intellect. I have never engaged in anal sex; what I wrote is what I learned from fellow gays throughout the years. Yes, I have a warped sense of humor but behind the warp is truth.

        Truth in humor is tantamount to “You will get more from honey than you will get from vinegar.”

        I made my point and it was a point…well taken.

        • jbnonc

          The saying goes “you catch more flies with honey than vinegar”.

          Makes sense and probably true.

          Either way, you end up with flies.

  2. Greg

    6. The Married Top

    A specialist in drive-by encounters, this is the top who can only see you on the way to or from work, for a limited amount of time, and with his cell phone handy in case his wife calls. Untrained in the art of kissing, unclear about the finer points of male hygiene, and unskilled at providing pleasure for his partner, this is the top who cums and goes in a heated rush.

  3. GoodolFuckBuddy

    The insensitive top. The one who’s all about getting his and forgets about pleasing the bottom. No foreplay. No intimacy. Won’t kiss. Fucks very hard with no skill. Won’t even touch the bottom’s dick. Cums and leaves the bottom to get his nut by himself. Mostly DL guys because they figure showing any passion would make them gay. But fucking another man like he’s just a receptacle to get off in he’s still straight.
    The top into other tops. This ones me. I’m a naturally masculine man who’s turned on by other masculine men. Many of them happen to be fellow tops. If he’s open to it I’ll hook up with them for some oral sex, and frottage and mutual masturbation. We can get off without either one of us getting fucked. It’s so hot!

  4. Richard

    Don’t forget Flip Tops!
    I have a bud for years. I’m mostly a top myself and when we first started playing he would only fuck me. As time went on he wanted me to fuck him too. That’s been going on for years now. Sometimes I invite a bottom to join us. Of course I test drive him first because my bud is very discreet on account of work and he trusts my judgement.

    Now we have a couple of regulars guys we play with and they know that my bud and I will be fucking each other while we are fucking them.

    That’s hot flip fucking for sure.

    P.S. you might want to add “100%” tops. In my experience when they say they are that, it’s never a 100% great experience. And that’s because when I hear Total Top or 100% Top I know something is going to be held back.

    • Hunter0500

      Exactly, Richard, about the “100%” or “Total” guys. It’s usually going to be about them getting satisfied and you then being dismissed. I’ll usually not hit them up. If they hit me up, for sure we’ll discuss what we are both looking for before meeting.

  5. Hunter0500

    Change the word “Top” in each category to “Bottom” and it only takes a couple of word modification in each description to describe the guys in the other camp.

  6. Wayne

    You missed the top who only likes fems, transgenders and female… women who give up the ass. I prefer these because they are relationship worthy. They like to hug, kiss, cuddle and are passionate. I like my sex with a mix from slow to medium… take my time in no hurry. After the sex we relax in each other arm ect. Not into that quick fuck and go nut thing. If it’s good, no need to rush off. I want to make we both get pleasure out of it. Not into pounding to cripple you… what if I want seconds and you’re in too much pain to do it?

      • WilmingTOP

        Thats me !
        I can’t kiss any type of guy because am bitop and into only women and fem bottoms, is something i can’t explain in words but a fembottoms are really soo hot… get me hard like a rock, just taking a look in him and when the bottom got a huge bubble ass, that is smooth and hole shaved, damn the only thing I want… is be deep inside that boipussy and no getting out that hole.
        Guys are complaining about the tops is because they are not good bottoms either or they arent meeting a real total top… I know by experience that sometimes some bottoms arent for me and sure I wasn’t the type of guy for them… but when I find a match, my bottom love me the way I am.
        Am total top, masculine top, sometimes I shave but mostly am hairy, and love to eat a clean shaved hole, before fucking good no mercy a bottom that is made for a long ride.

  7. David

    I think I’m the Daddy top and the young guys do flock to me and I think our group. I’m not bearded though, very clean cut look, but I do have a hairy body. The young ones, and by that I mean 25 up to 35, do love to meet, make love and then drift off to sleep with their heads laying on my hairy chest. I’m also pretty much top only but on occasion will bottom for the right guy, even a young one that I’ve made love too and then we flip. The whole top/bottom thing is sorta enigmatic. We all like what we like and enjoy, lets just quit the labeling and have lots of fun together. Merry Christmas to all.

  8. Andrew

    I’m bi, top and very affectionate so i’m the “Top comfortable with his sexuality” i kiss, i love my ass rimed, i love romancing my partner, eat their ass suck their cock, and make them beg for my cock and start off slowly and build the rhythm, i like seeing my partner in pleasure and that brings me pleasure too. I like trying different positions and bringing maximum pleasure to my bottom, i don’t bottom been there done that not my thing but i understand how some guys just rush in and think a man’s ass is a damn drilling hole and don’t consider he’s a person, so when i really enjoy your company mentally and physically sex is possible for me, and i’m mainly attracted to masculine guys who are hygienic if you come to be with dog breath and funky body odor you bet i’m leaving.

    • R-L-S

      Andrew, as I was ready your comment.. I started thinking and asked myself, “When did I write this?” Lol!!

      I swear, this is exactly me. Get out of my head will you! Lmao. I’m Bi, Top, affectionate, etc.
      We could be twins in regards to our thinking, ahha! Good job man

  9. Darryl

    How about the considerate Top, the kind of Top who wa to to give pleasure, and then receive it by hearing your moans and groans. Who will make you want to crawl over broken glass to play with him again. Not many of us are left, because we have been left out of the mix of Tops who Bottoms detest.

  10. Matt (Black)

    Nothing can be more pleasing than a super clean, sweet smelling, experienced , fit, passionate, patient top.. Stopping to kiss and gentle massages throughout the entire sessions. Gentle finger play with lubed fingers before entering. Whispering gently asking if it feels good when changing positions. Nice slow comfortable fucking for hours and hours. Stopping for breaks, actually having conversations before starting over again. After both nut, lay there for a while cuddling before taking turns showering and brushing teeth. Then both get back into bed and take a nap apart.

  11. M-K

    How about the Top Convert?
    I’ve been a top for years, but I’m in transition now. Been fucked a few times of late, but still topping too. Then again, I’m all of the aforementioned types of tops too. I’m married, so sometimes I fuck, cum, and split. Other times, we make out for a good hour and suck each other till we culminate in a good fucking. I guess I’m all over the place…

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