Sexuality: Lonely Men Engage In Bareback Sex More
Loneliness can be a hard thing to deal with and, apparently, it can even drive some men into engaging in some pretty risky sexual behavior.
In a study published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior, a team of seven Chinese scientists conducted a study among 507 Chinese men who have sex with men and discovered that lonely men are significantly more likely to engage in bareback sex. The study was intended to find out the relationship between mental health and HIV infection among gay and bisexual men.
According to the study, 26.8 and 35.5 percent reported moderate-to-severe symptoms of depression and feeling lonely, respectively. But much more alarming is the fact that 66 percent of the participants who identified as lonely were more likely to have engaged in condomless receptive anal intercourse in the past six months.
As has been reported in previous studies before, incidences of depression is higher among the LGBTQ community. The 2015 national Youth Risk Behavior Survey (YRBS) conducted by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has the following statistics:
• 10% were threatened or injured with a weapon on school property
• 34% were bullied on school property
• 28% were bullied electronically
• 23% of LGB students who had dated or went out with someone during the 12 months before the survey had experienced sexual dating violence in the prior year
• 18% of LGB students had experienced physical dating violence
• 18% of LGB students had been forced to have sexual intercourse at some point in their lives.
The researchers who conducted this study among Chinese men who have sex with men have recommended that “HIV prevention efforts should address the mental health needs of Chinese MSM such as providing safe environments for social support and role models.”
Depression, yeah, not for being gay though, lonely yeah, but not desperate, as I “choose” more carefully, whom I’m to have what to do with, as many do not. As they choose to “have fun” which is code for NSA, they make me laugh, way too shallow. Even though it’s not funny, but tragic because I really wonder, if, well, clearly some psychological component, probably, ’cause it’s like a dog chasing its tail. People are much better off being loved which is what ‘we’ as humans, period, crave-really; want deep-down-inside, yet, there’s something inhibiting that, some kind of lack of psychological growth? I mean, is it the typical selfishness that inhabits the typical gay male? Do they not feel worthy of love, thus not capable of being in love? As I always say there’s “sowing your oats as a younger man, then there’s knowing-loving yourself well enough to know what you what in a actual mate.” Either way, its gay people just using each other putting each other in harm’s way, so, it can be and should be said in this scenario as others, “damaged or hurt people go on to do the same to others,” BREAK THE GODDAMN CHAIN!
I really agree with Lamar that being loved is what most of us are looking for. Yes, hook ups can be fun and satisfying, however it’s only for the moment, and then most likely you’ll never see him again, putting yourself at risk for all kinds of diseases, hiv, etc. I’ve done NSA attached hookups, and then afterwards it’s like depression sits in as I know that most likely whom ever I had sex with, that I’ll never see him again. Yes, I get depressed and lonely at times, but it’s has been a lot better in the last couple years. I found a super good loving friend that honestly cares about me and I care about him. Although we don’t live together, we see each other nearly every day. Also whats interesting is that sex isn’t our number one priority. We do all kinds of things from traveling, restaurants, movies, shopping, etc, and enjoy each others company. Having sex is just one more nice part of our relationship. We talk about our sexual experiences, and were open about it. When one of us is down, we get together and always seem to cheer each other up. But good loving friends are so hard to come by, as guys today are so selfish and shallow only wanting whats good for them, not caring about the other person. I never thought in times past a loving relationship like that could ever exist. Yes, we have differences in some of the things we enjoy, but lots of things in common. We have several years age difference, and racially we are different, but to us those really aren’t differences, we are just who we are. What difference does that make? Nothing to either of us.
Put that where…back there! But be safe lol
Thanks Dave! Interesting article and i believe it to be accurate.
28% were bullied electronically.
What is the percentage of that is from Gay on Gay?
Even on this site bulling happens. Someone doesn’t like your stats or pics they feel the need to send a hateful message letting you know their thoughts. Even though they have never met you or plan on it but just to be hateful instead of moving on and letting things be.
I don’t need a study to tell me that loneliness lead to depression or make you do things that you would normally not do. This site again is a perfect example. Do you say safe sex only on your profile but will let someone fuck you raw because you have not had your fair share lately? Do you hit up someone because it is 3am and can’t find someone that meets your standards?
Self esteem and respect goes out the window when we let our dicks and ass do our thinking.
Let’s change the world one person at a time. Be kind to one another.
If you’re not gonna wrap it you can go home and whack it.
Face it bare back sex feels great!
Chinese men WHERE? Last study I recall reading about China, Communist China does not believe Chinese men have sex with men! Therefore, China lagged way behind in the collection of data and rates of STD/Is were rampant. It was a sad situation.
Perhaps there are some takeaways, in this study, for the LGB community. I read these A4A Blogs constantly, and there are reoccurring themes constantly: self-loathing, negativity, lack of support, and disconnected or fragmented relationships ALL of which COULD lead to taking unnecessarily higher ‘in the moment’ risks. It took me years to build a self-reliant, self esteem, and I had few GREAT examples from those in the LGB community. Even now, when the blog asks about a specific behavior, there are many who cite a myriad of examples of the behaviors and statistics in that 2015 study. Without judgment, it is fair to say that without support, it is difficult to become self-actualized. Perhaps those hardships and negatives hone the character? I honestly believe that successful gay and bi men, are probably some of the wisest most secure men I know!
This is annoying. I don’t want to come on a4a to look for sex and have to be bombarded by whatever “message” Dave wants to make us feel guilty about. It’s time for this blog to go away so we don’t have to deal with his narcissism or guilt complexes.
You don’t need to read these articles if you don’t like them.
But I think A4A has to advise its users about certain risks and many other users thank us for that. If you are not interested again, don’t read.
Cheers!
Any guy who gives or receives a blow job without using a condom but then bemoans raw anal sex is a hypocrite. The risk of getting a STD is there, it might not be as high, but it’s still there. Furthermore with one in four having this or one in three having that, having sex with anyone there is a statistical risk. And let’s also remind ourselves condoms are not 100% effective in preventing STDs in the first place. I have been a bartender in a gay bar for over ten year and have seen countless hook ups but I have never heard a guy say, I’m so lonely tonight I’m hooking up and NOT using a condom. I am a very proud and secure gay man who enjoys raw sex because I enjoy it, period. This article is a shame tactic based off a homophobic article. So remember guys you’re not lonely or a bad person if condoms are used, just keep telling yourself that.
I find it ironic you wrote an article about gay men but when gay men reply with a difference of opinion you tell them not to read words written about them and their community. So in your mind if someone isn’t interested in something or disagrees with it they should just pretend like it doesn’t exist??? Yeah that’s why we are still fighting for gay rights because we do exist.
lol, wow, nice distortion of what I wrote.
I’m saying that if you don’t want me to write about HIV and STDs when you bareback, don’t read it, that’s all.
I want to protect the community and I think that if they know this stuff, they will use their brain, or not, when they have sex. That’s all.
Next question?
Agreed, don’t read. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
BRYAN, What do YOU come on A4a for then? Its a correlation study, IT doesn’t PROVE anything, it just speaks to the higher likelihood of A impacting B … pretty simple … just like the logic you used to try to guilt DAVE to not post stories that offend your logic. Whatever you do, be proud in the face of facts, you are still responsible for those…
QUINNTIN, way to beg a question there … doesn’t take a genius to figure out that if some one is feeling lonely (or desperate, or vulnerable) they might not be thinking logically, and whie your point is well taken (we are ALL lucky in certain situations) I do NOT believe you are foolish enough to thing for one minute an article about specific men is generalizeable to ALL GAY or BI MEN. You completely lost your thread (and credibility) when you attempted to say DAVE was IRONIC … BRYAN doesn’t have to read the blog, and doesn’t have to feel bad, and doesn’t have to share, and doesn’t have to be defended by you, so eschew that irony
DAVE, your articles are fine, don’t explain to the people who aren’t capable of understanding that some us us care (and protect ourselves) even when it is difficult to admit engaging in unsafe behaviors is risky. Your blogs are great
thanks man!
It strange 10 years ago you couldn’t find a single guy that would even consider bareback but know I can’t find a single guy that wants to use a condom. I don’t know if it being lonely or change in society. I show up they bend over lube my dick up and say breed me. I Pull out a condom and it’s like they are disappointed. I’m clean and I am only worried about HIV everything thing else can be cured even HEP C although it’s uber expensive. But it like they don’t care and 10 years later 9 out of 10 guys I hook up with that wanted it bare have hiv I’m glad I didn’t go bare. I dont know if it being so much being lonely as it is being so desperate for sex that you let you gard and standards down and willing to do what ever you have to do to get laid.
If you are TRULY only worried about HIV, you’re a good candidate for PrEP as prevention – as that is the only STD it guards against.
I’m not advocating for or against, regardless of any preferences I may have – just saying that’s what it does. And yes, it works. (There is possibly ONE case of a guy properly taking his meds DAILY that became poz. But condoms aren’t fool prooof if they break, etc either.)
I’m just saying – since you said the other things don’t scare you as much…
@Mitch. What a gross exaggeration! Ten years ago was 2008 and guys WERE having bareback sex left and right. For instance, in 2005 at the former Red Door gay sex party at 2393 Frederik Douglass Boulevard, 3rd Floor Apartment, between 128th Street and 129th Street, in Harlem, Manhattan, one guy – a very light-skinned black guy – let some 100 guys raw-fuck and breed him. When he started to get fucked, he was standing up with guys lining up behind him. Then he just lied down on the bedroom floor like a dead log and the guys took turns on top of him to raw-fuck and breed him. EVERY guy at the party fucked him even the guys who normally were used to playing the bottom only role at the party on previous occasions.
Very good, needed, interesting and informative information. I read last week that the Center for Disease Control reported that STD’s are on the rise for men across the broad and I’m not surprised with fairly new prep offering false security when it comes to std/sti. Here’s my basic thought process. As a young sexually active person I rather go bareback simply because it feels so much better because yes I tried it. Fuck yea!!! Maturity and education taught me that protection is a must not a thought. I also think top guys with smaller dicks are against wearing condoms because it’s probably difficult for them to fully enjoy the pleasure wearing a condom. The friction generated from a snug hole creates pleasure for any top and wearing a condom probably would lessen that pleasure if the top has a small dick. Also I think guys with erectile dysfunctions tend to shy away from condoms because their main objective is to try to maintain an erection and putting a condom on correctly might kill their erection. …. Just my thoughts.
I find it funny you think size affects pleasure/sensation when wearing a condom. It’s sorta like you’re using your reply to try to somehow belitttle or shame smaller guys. Haha.
(Which I find pretty insecure. Same as I do with how bigger guys think they have more of a gift when the truth is that no one was rewarded size for his good behavior or skill set – you simply get what God gave you, lol)
Now the ED comment – okay that has a little validity – I sometimes* do have issues with condoms but I’m also very self aware that it’s partly* in my head. But that’s a different thread topic, haha.
“Keep hope alive sir”
using a condom ruins my erection and it feels better without one.i know its risky,but its poz 4 poz.for me.
Yup. Sad.
I use to be very insecure of myself = “come what may,” I grew in ways I never imagined, no more of that “come what may.” I became very confident, secure in who I am, yet, remain humble, looks; I really had little to do with, but, it was the self-esteem, knowledge of myself what I gained from within, it makes a real difference. It makes the realities easier to deal with, not to mention self-reliant and strong, so at this age, I can live a more graceful life, as an openly gay man. And as I said in an early conversation on here, “our young brothers are watching” as a “civic-minded” man, in my gay community, I know, I’m an example of another kind of gay man, you don’t have to be a tragedy.
Bryan: This blog is quite informative. I totally agree with Dave if you don’t like the blog just don’t read it. You may not want to read or know what’s happening because your self-esteem is at it’s pinnacle. That’s all good for you. But, remember there are multiple and multiple of younger gay. or bi-sexual men, whose self-esteem is totally shattered.
I found the information on this blog quite interesting and informing, and which can be shared with my younger client’s who are experiencing severe loneliness. This feeling often tends to trigger these young confused lads into using alcoholic beverages, or other drugs so as to numb their feelings–Now that their inhibitions are less, they will certainly look to engage in sex without condom.
thank you dear!
I would have to agree with the article to a certain degree. Just because someone is lonely, doesn’t equate to depression/lonely. As one person said… “some might be sowing their oats.” That’s what we do/did when we were younger (at least some of us did). Not saying BB is for everyone, because it isn’t.
I have talked to plenty of couples who have “open” relationships and they prefer BB.. does that mean they are depressed also? And yes, I do realize this is an article on “single gays”
For myself, I am single and when I use condoms, my erection goes south of the border. Looking back in hindsight, alot have to do with connection/chemisty with the guy. It also is a “head trip” regarding erection going south while wearing one.
I am not saying that I BB 100% of the time nor do I meet guys for a quick hookup that often. Does this put me in the category of “lonely/depressed”?
Some guys just love to BB because if feels better as many guys have confess. Yes, it is “risky” behavior to do so!
I do think more studies should be administered before we get our panties in a knot, lol!!
But this is a start and I do find this Very interesting! Thanks for aharing/posting this article Dave.. much appreciated and keep up the good work! .
We should not tear each other down just because of our difference of opinion, come on guys!
It would also be interesting what the percentages are regarding straight single guys and BB for comparison.. .
A study conducted by 507 Chinese men in a country with a population of 1.4 billion people, with a different culture, values, tradition, with no control group doesn’t sound like a scientific study to me.
If you are gay today and in your 20’s and 30’s, you have it so much easier than ‘older’ gents. The older generation has deeper scars. Rejection, discrimination, bullying, hiding and lying, feeling shame…all accumulate in self-hate so we often do not take good care of bodies and souls. It’s a testament to human resilience that we haven’t all jumped off a bridge.