Watch This: Bisexual Men Talk About Struggles and First Times
(Photo Credits: Screengrab from PinkNews Facebook)
He was crushing on some girls at the school across the road; but wait, he was attracted to guys in his class, too!
Sounds familiar?
If so, you are not alone. In fact, some bisexual guys over at PinkNews sat down and talked about the moment they realized they were bisexual. For some, however, the realization was a long journey mired with confusion as to why they liked both genders until they realized that maybe that’s really the way they are. They aren’t gay but they aren’t exactly straight either so is there a term for this? Another confessed that he realized his attraction to men is not just a phase and will definitely not go away no matter how many women he dated.
The men also talked about the struggles and challenges they face as bisexual guys, one of them being the impression that because they are bi, therefore they can’t commit. Moreover, some people also think that because they like both men and women, therefore they like all of them. They also receive rejections or more precisely, they hear this phrase often, “I don’t date bi guys.”
With that said, any Adam4Adam bisexual readers out here who can relate? Care to share with us the exact moment that made you realize you were bisexual? Also, what are the challenges and misconceptions you face as a bisexual man? Lastly, can you share with us the things you love about being bisexual? Sound off in the comments section below.
It’s been a long road for me I was alway homophobic in my youth until I picked up a girly magazine and it had a cute little girl posing in panties until the last 5 pages. She was sporting a little cock. That turned me on completely. I find that im not attracted to men but I’m attracted to the beauty of a nice shaved smooth cock and balls also a nice round ass. And if it is attached to a very nice person the better.
I only with I could find a woman I can really share my experiences with in an open and loving mind.
Not surprised there aren’t many comments. A4A is notoriously rough on the bisexual crowd. Apparently nobody else choose their orientation but hi guys, lol…and we chose wrong.
I am bi, and have been married for over 20 yrs (to a woman). We have kids, etc. I would never want to live with another man, but yes, I’d swap a BJ with one. I’ve never had romantic feelings for a guy, only sexual ones.
Come ye, all bi haters, and tell me how horrible I am!
No judgment my brother! There are many of us out here who struggle with an attraction for both men ane women. I am! Still date women but have not been sexual with one in a while. I do have a married buddy who loves sucking me off whenever he gets the urge. You are not a horrible person. Continue to do you and be who you are. Wish we were living close to each other.
I agree.
Judging ppl for liking both sexes is like judging someone for liking a certain food. Ppl will like what they like because we like what we like. If you dont thats cool, but mind your business yknow?
There is no such interface as MONOGAMY if someone wants to label themselves as BISEXUAL!
So a bisexual is polygamous. Who cares as long as they aren’t hurting their partner(s) and they are happy.
I’ve always felt that if there was a way to filter out the social prejudices and so called norms of our surrounding culture I would bet that about 80% of humanity is naturally bisexual with perhaps about 10% being gay and the remaining 10% is hetero. You can thank our so called “norms” for interfering in our species natural development.
I realized it when I had feelings for this girl and at the time I was sucking my brother in laws dick. A few months later he began dating the same girl. When I noticed the jealousy from him having her and not her having him. I knew that I liked both guys and girls. I still keep it hidden that I like both sex until I feel like it’s the right time to reveal my truth
It is hard, very hard. Nobody understands. Both the gays and hetros tend to think you are really gay and don’t want to come out. You’re hiding in the closet. Lots of negativity and very little support. Most women don’t want to date a cocksucker so you have to try extra hard to hide it. Homosexual men don’t want to date a guy who may at the flip of a switch go running into the arms of a lady. So here we are, stuck between both worlds. I guess it is different levels of bi and what bi men are really wanting. For me sex with a female comes from the heart, full of emotions. Sex with a man is pure lust. Just down and dirty, I’ll get mine and help you get yours. Which do I enjoy more? Passionate sex or raw feel good sex? I’ve never been able to decide for myself much less tell you the answer. I don’t feel complete with just one or the other. I need both to feel whole. My perfect world would have two committed partners (one female and one male) who understand. A wife and a best friend who is also bi. I know there are some who have that and I consider you guys very lucky. I have not been able to get that lucky. And guess I never will. Just not meant to be.
Hey man where are you located? We should get acquainted if you are close to New York.
All it takes is the right opportunity/nities
I was walking in my neighborhood when I walked past a car n there was a picture of a guy who had the most beautiful cock I’ve seen on a white man. My dick instantly got hard and that bothered me. I was about 15.
That means you are gay. This article is asking about when you found out you were bi. Did you not understand?
I think the person posting was hoping you would assume that he is/was attracted to women.
Come on guy, be nice. Personally dealing with your own sexuality can be quite a dramatic event that can take some time to come to terms with. It might have been easy for you but you don’t have to be condescending on other people.
Being attracted to guys doesnt mean you’re gay. Just means you MAY be bi or gay or whatever else applies. Its not a “YOU HAVE TO PICK THIS OR THAT” issue. Thats no better than telling someone they “have” to be strictly about the sugar walls (Pussy)
I think as a bisexual man I have more biphobia against myself only because of always being told I had to choose a side! it’s not good and evil! But I find it coming more from women then men!
I’m bisexual, and it can be difficult. I have had MFM threesomes on occasion, and they are so much fun. Like some of the other responses on here, I think of sex with females as a passionate, loving experience, while my male experiences are more about the physical act. I feel bad for straight men who will never experience a blowjob from a man, because they are WAY better. I also feel sorry for gay men who haven’t experienced the awesome feeling of a moist vagina. I feel ostracized by non bi people at times, but mostly I feel lucky to have great sex with both sexes
I’m a closet bi guy. I had a couple childhood cool around experiences with a friend. Didn’t really think anything of it. I’ve always loved women, love having sex with women and have only wanted to share my life with women. I don’t find dating men appealing. Yes some of it is society, not wanting people to know I’ve been with men, but I just like that coupledom to be with a woman.
Now on the other hand i like having sex with guys. It doesn’t happen often. But I definitely enjoy sucking dick, having a guy suck me. Frotting. I thought I only was a top before but have come to love getting rammed hard as well. I’ve yet to meet a woman I could share these desires with so in turn hide that part of my life and don’t really get to explore it much.
Damn, that is exactly my situation.
Yeh relatable. More top and never bottomed though the thought of sucking dick is hot to me
I would honestly like to date someone who is bi compared to someone who is gay. The reasoning behind this is that I’ve had a lot of experience with guys that claim that they are “straight” with homosexual tendencies. For some reason, I get along with them better than gay men.
I have no issue with the bisexual life style. As a gay man thats out, I have issues with guys that cant make up their mind if they want a man or a woman or lives so far in the closet that its shame based. Im too advanced as a gay man to be pulled down that road. Work your shit out and then Ill allocate my time. Simple.
If a guy wants a female, Im cool with that as long as he is open and honest with himself and everyone involved with him.
Not a bi guy here, but my first bf was. Our time together was Hot. I even brought him home for thanksgiving dinner wearing matching hickie necklaces. Was back in college. After awhile he couldn’t handle. Broke both our hearts.
My first time naked with another person and having an orgasm was with another boy. I think because of that I am into hairless bodies. I am closeted married to a wonderful woman but I could love another man. My standards are mine; he would have to be fit, smooth, not overly macho acting and versatile bottom like me. It is tough being bi.
I dated a guy for several years and was in love with him. I lost my virginity with him and we had a very intense relationship for many years. But we both were deep in the closet and that was not fun at all. When I was finally getting ready to come out of the closet, I found out that he had proposed to a girl and they were going to get married. Obviously that broke my heart and the brake up was awful since I not only broke up with him but I made sure to brake the love triangle.
I had no intentions of dating anyone else for a long while after all that drama. I wanted to be by myself and figure things out and I was doing ok. But there was this woman in my masters program and we became good friends. I had briefly dated a couple of girls back in the day, mostly to cover appearances with my very conservative family. But this woman was not only very accepting of my whole situation (she knew every detail of my relationship with three guy) but very loving and caring in a time I needed it the most. Nobody had being that accepting and caring with me before, and that blew my mind. I fell head over heels with her when I had thought that I could not love a woman, only men.
20 years later, we’re married and have two daughters. She’s my kindred spirit and I deeply love her. But something was missing, and I knew I couldn’t be happy without having a connection with men too, so we decided to open our relationship. It’s been four years and it has opened our communication even more. It’s not always ideal (I’ve got a STI from a random hook up) but it works for us.
I have the capacity of loving both men and women, since I’ve had loved both. Sex, as many said here, is very different but for me being bisexual is not only the physical attraction but also the capacity to love and be in a romantic relationship with both genders.
I’ve always been physically attracted to both men and women, but I’ve only been interested in intimate relationships with women. I dated several girls in high school but had a male fuck buddy in my sophomore year (he moved away at the beginning of my junior year). It was about 16 years later before I hooked up with another guy – he was a married high school principal. Over the years I’ve had several male sexual partners it’s been some of the best sex ever – only one girlfriend was as adventurous and uninhibited as some of the guys I’ve been with. As much as I’m still attracted to men, it’s purely physical. I just don’t see myself cuddling and holding hands and being truly intimate with a man the way I do with my wife. I don’t judge anyone for their preferences – just sharing mine.
As a gay man I’ve had some good sexual experiences with bi-men. It’s different though as an African American’ cause some white dudes are very curious about sex with ‘us’.
Now, ‘I’ personally understand ‘sometimes’ this as a “power-thing” being that they’re the “rulers of the universe.” In this scenario: its not always just about the sex, but seeing what its like to be “vulnerable or switching places” with someone who (is) vulnerable, culturally, as it pertains
to the power structures of society, which they rule.
They are not always aware of this, its sub-conscious. Especially, as a very large-capable man, while it’s also true, some just want the complete switch and turn-around, sexually; see what some of their ‘white sisters’ are raving about. Funny how sex, isn’t always about sex.
I’ve been to a few professional sports activities, now, with a “bro” who’s DL, I can always tell by the way they look into my eyes “hungry-like.” I know, its not about the power, but just raw-absolute sex.
I know the dualities can exist without, really, being one or the other “gay or straight” but both. I haven’t, anything, against an “honestly good man” who happens to be bi, I’ve gotten with a few
who were honest with me about themselves.
I am bisexual and have always been so. I have been through the usual compartmentalising my entire life. I’ve moved because I felt one side or the other was too close.friday nights were reserved for men Saturday night were women. At times I was even happy. And then one day I said no more lies.. no more manipulatioms. No more being only part of who I am at any point in time. Afterwards I date a lot less and not by choice. All I have to do is say bisexual and it’s an argument. I’ll tell them I’m bi. I don’t have to remind them do I? Should I ? After all the chaos I am a lot happier with myself and my life. I’m still single , I have a lot more people to filter through. Bisexuality has gotten me a step close to unconditional love. Yes I am bisexual. And it’s not me who is confused or going through some phase. That would be you. Good luck with that.
And a lot of these comments are by people who dont understand what bisexual really is. He could fall in love with someone and that doesn’t mean “he’s made his mind up”. If he needs to be looking like a ten year old and act effeminate etc that’s not much to do about bisexuality . Ask your therapist to straighten out those crossed signals. Bisexuality is being attract to males and females. That’s constant. Not going to change. It doesn’t have to be a 50/50 split..and. Yes that is my mind made up
In my teen years, I remember being turned on when my cousin came to our house, and I could hear him masturbating in the bathroom. I so bad wanted to open the door and watch and join in, but was too scared to do so. I loved looking at guys in school locker rooms, getting a hard on, seeing that some of them were erect with nice hot looking cocks. But I tried to deny the idea that I had a gay side. Since I am an older guy today, back in those days being gay or bi was something you never talked about or admitted. I tried to live my life completely straight. Sure, I got married to a woman, had kids, (it was the correct thing to do, or so I thought) etc, but still was always attracted to guys as well. As time went on, I found myself being more attracted to guys over women. After all, us guys know how to please each other, and what makes us tick. Women on the other hand have to be romanced with all kinds of pretty’s, expensive jewelry, flowers, perfumes, nice clothes, expensive dinners, etc. None of these really fit my style of life. As time went on, I finally realized that I am mainly gay, and started cruising, going to adult arcades, sucking and jerking off with guys, and even kissing and cuddling. Guys and the attraction to them is where I’m at today. I would say I am 99% gay, and wasted the major part of my life trying to be straight, then worked into the bi sexual life, and now I realize that all of the past was a lie, knowing that I always have been gay. Yes, I am gay, but tried to live a lie of being straight, bi, and slowly realized that I am gay and finally admitted it to myself and several others. I have a wonderful guy, lover and friend, and found out that being gay is a lot more than just sex. Sure, sex is a great part of a relationship, but also things like travel, shopping, movies, and just working together and sharing our lives together is a very rewarding experience. I am not a bit ashamed giving each other a kiss, holding hands, or a hug in public. Although we don’t flaunt it, it is great to show and experience of closeness with a guy who I love. So through the years, I guess I’ve been straight, bi, (or so I thought), but was actually, truly gay all my life.
Numerous studies some very recent says everyone is bisexual only choice of submissive, dominate or switch. Case closed.
In my opinion, all males and females are bisexual. No one is 100% gay or straight, but we just fall on different levels of the spectrum.
I’ve always been straight, but had thoughts for men for about 10 years. Over that time I realized they were not going away, but getting more intense. So I acted on it to see what it was like. I had a wonderful partner who was very caring, and we had a great time. That was 10 years ago. Now I know I’m bisexual. My girlfriend not only knows and approves, but we’ve had a few MMF’s that are really fun. I love her completely and totally. Having a man just adds intensity and variety to our already great sex life. I do like a guy buy himself, but not on a romantic basis. With a guy, it’s just sex.
I have always been attracted to both. Girls for beauty and softness caring and nurture. Guys for strait up pleasurable sex. I mean a BJ from a guy that knows what he is doing is incomprehensiblely awesome. Also a top that knows how to ring your bell anally is beyond pleasurable.
On the flip side a hot moist vagina is pleasurable in its own right.
I am married to a woman that will not understand this side of me so I have to quietly have my needs met.
I have a few male regulars and that is how I meet my needs.
I would love to have MMF relationships, but it hasn’t happened yet.
I’ve had group sessions with guys and when everyone is out to please each other it is quite an experience.