Boy Erased Adam4Adam

Watch This: A First Look at ‘Boy Erased’

(Photo Credits: Screengrab from IMDb)

There is an upcoming film regarding gay conversion therapy called Boy Erased set to hit theaters on November 2. Said movie is adapted from Garrard Conley’s Boy Erased: A Memoir which was released in 2016 and at the time of the book’s publication, “only a small handful of states” had banned reparative or conversion therapy on minors specifically Vermont, California, New Jersey, Illinois, Oregon, and the District of Columbia. This, in spite of the concerns expressed by various health and medical groups on gay conversion therapy saying it is “potentially harmful.”

Boy Erased follows the story of 19-year-old college student Jared Eamons (played by Lucas Hedges) who is a son of a Baptist preacher, Marshall Eamons (Russell Crowe). The Eamons family lived in a small town, and unfortunately when you live in a small town, there are no secrets. When Jared was outed to his conservative parents as gay, he was “pressured to attend a church-supported gay conversion program.” Watch the film’s first official trailer below.

Boy Erased also stars multi-awarded actress Nicole Kidman as Nancy Eamons, Jared’s mom; Bloom singer Troye Sivan as Gary; and Canadian director, writer, and actor Xavier Dolan as Jon to name a few. Joel Edgerton, who wrote the adaptation and played the role of therapist Victor Sykes, also directed the film.

In an interview, Edgerton said of Boy Erased, “Garrard’s story is so full of redemption.” Further, he explained, “My approach and treatment of this story was that there were no villains, that everyone thought they were doing the right thing.”

Like Jared, were you ever asked by your family to make a choice? Go on a conversion therapy program or face being kicked out of your home and being shunned by your family, friends, and church? If so, what did you choose? Sound off in the comments section below.

There are 24 comments

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  1. Jim

    Deliberate, institutional stupidity of the Southern Baptists in the face of biological realities IS villainous. The most charitable thing one could say about the parents is NOT that they thought they were doing the right thing but that they were monumentally ignorant in thinking that WAS the right thing.

    • Richard

      Whoa, whoa there, Jim. Take it easy climbing down from your soapbox.

      In my opinion the takeaway from the movie is to maintain and expand open lines of dialogue betweeen parent and child. Casting the parents as “monumentally ignorant” isn’t an apt description. Close-minded, yes. Ill informed, certainly. But not monumentally ignorant. That sort of talk gives the “other side” the fuel they need to bolster their side of the argument.

  2. Chris

    Yeah…the movie and ALL those involved with it lose me altogether and are to be written off when director Joel Edgerton says “My approach and treatment of this story was that there were no villains, that everyone thought they were doing the right thing.” That’s bullshit!! To start with, one reason for the existence of a maxim is the truth embedded in it. The road to hell is, indeed, paved with good intentions. My god…all a half-way intelligent person has to do is look at history. Up to the very present day, it is absolutely filled with evil people who try to justify their disgusting, immoral behavior by claiming they thought they were doing the “right” thing. Well, Hitler (based on his own moral code like the parents in the movie) was convinced he was doing the “right” thing too. Apparently, that’s good enough for Mr. Edgerton. It’s not for me.

  3. Julian

    So when I was 8 or 9 I was caught “experimenting” with the neighbor boy who happened to be my (then) stepmothers nephew of about 6.. she lost her mind and made me gather up all my clothes and kicked me out. My dad just watched me struggle with my close and then I left.. I might’ve gotten a block away before my dad pulled up in his and brought me back. We never really talked about what happened; we already attended church regularly so there wasn’t much to change there.. later that year my brother and I moved in with our mom where I remained buried deep in the closet for the next ten years. I dealt with so much self hatred after that incident. I thought about suicide a lot, but as I got older I was able to see things differently. I realized that I’m not the one with the problem, I’m just playing the hand I was dealt. When I came out to my friends and family (and later on social media) I was overwhelmed with support.. from small town West Texans, if you could believe it.. this world has changed dramatically in the last 10 years and I’m pretty thankful for that. Things are getting better but we can’t let our guard down

  4. Sirra111

    Powerful movie..I hope all young guys watch this and can identify with their own personal struggles..nobody chose to be gay, you just walk the path that you were placed on..don’t erase you but praise you for living your truth..

  5. ISOLTRjock

    That looks like a heck of a lot of drama, and a possibly brilliant but too painful movie for my tastes.

    I wish I had $5 for each time that I’ve gotten into heated blog debates with well-meaning fellow Christians who believe that homosexuality is a “choice.”

    I wish I had $10 for each time that I’ve debated the idea that “the Bible condemns homosexuality” with well-meaning fellow Christians.

    The fact that the word “homosexual” was not even invented until the late 1800’s should be thought-provoking to open-minded people.

    Christian gay guys are the best, in my opinion. Peace be with you.

    • RL

      I find it so interesting that haters, calling themselves “Christian”, and well-versed in Scripture, do not realize that Jesus said not one word against men who love men. I recall how many times he challenged the sinfulness (bad motivation) of accusers. I recall how he once said, “some men never marry because they were born that way.” I recall how he healed a Roman officer’s “servant”, when the term used in original text meant a servant of particular trust and privilege (like the bachelor “business partners” of the late 1900’s). I recall how the one most quoted as condemning homosexuality was actually condemning pagan fertility rites, and had himself worked in a male profession in a male-dominated society, had a suppressive view of women, and advocates not marrying.

      These people, to try to appear other than disdainful, quoting a self-righteous preacher with “love the sinner, hate the sin” betrayed their false hearts. I do not believe these people, who kick women out of churches for wearing pants, have any clue what Jesus wants because they are too busy telling people their version of it. Conversion therapy is proof these people have no clue that free will is not theirscto control, anyway. If they knew their Bible, they would see how Jesus handled free will, as with the rich young man, or the lepers who didn’t thank him, or the town that rejected him. Even God did not try to control Adam.

      I am grateful for the believers who embrace everyone as God’s creation, whole and complete. I especially appreciate the Baptist founded university whose chaplain condemned gay-hating as wrong, such that the Southern Baptist Convention kicked out their own school and its chaplain, which he used to demonstrate how important it is to follow truth, not power.
      Bottom line, I’m glad some Christians would rather follow Jesus than haters.

  6. Jpowerhouse

    This movie trailer struck a chord with me. I was always fearful of everyone discovering my real truth as a teen and young adult in the 1980s. My parents were overly religious and homosexuality was an abomination. I was terrified at the thought of anyone discovering I was gay. When I was 19 I thought about ending it all. My self-esteem was at an all-time low coupled with my self-hatred being at an all time high. Somehow I found the inner strength to battle my demons and suppress my attraction toward men. Several years ago when I turned 50 I experienced a number of epiphanal moments. Two years later I revealed my truth to my wife. It wasn’t easy but I felt as if I great burden had been lifted from my shoulders. Sometimes I wonder if I were a young man today how differently things would have been for me and so many other gay men.

  7. Hunter4B

    Yikes, looks harsh, and perhaps a bit difficult to sit through. Once again BEGS why so many here believe coming out is no big deal

    • Jeffrey

      There was a time when coming out was a big deal. Society did not accept gay men at all. Today it is different. The mainstream excepts us and it is not that big of a deal.
      Unfortunately, as long as there is a devil there will be hate and discontent. Gay men feed the hate when we force ourselves on businesses that do not want to deal with us. As in the recent wedding cake circus or picketing Chik-fa-la. We think that our rights out weight the rights of others.
      So what you’re gay. What happens in anyone’s bedroom is their business and should be kept there not made out to be some proclamation.
      While I am on my soap box preaching let me also say that while some men are gay by birth and do not choose others like myself do. While I had two good wife’s I am now in a ltr with a man. I do not condemn those that choose or was born to be with women. I show them respect and common courtesy. I expect the same in return and those that don’t like my lifestyle I will just take my business elsewhere or not share my life with them. It’s that simple.

      With all do respect, Jeffrey

      • Hunter4B

        No, I respect your opinion Jeffrey, but I am not talking about a societal vision, a more’, or a norm, I am speaking of personal experience, and like you, I dated women and never thought of this. I was raised in a very religious home, it was never weaponized, but that doesn’t mean it was any easier to traverse those implications, all of which frankly, NO ONE ELSE here can understand because they are MY experiences. When I read a coming out story, I DO understand many of the feelings those guys have, and while I cannot fathom THEIR experiences, then frankly, I believe you might just be fooling yourself if you believe ‘society’ accepts us. Some accept, some tolerate, and others straight out hate … the worse offenders often tend to be ‘hiding deep in a closet of their own making’ and that is why you often hear about the holier-than-thou minister caught with young boys (because he cannot fake what he feels inside, and yet he preaches hate from the pulpit, so he ends up in a disaster of his own making). I do not believe my rights out weigh others ‘rights, but I’ll be damned if the silly arguments here make it okay for others to try an subvert my rights. That CO baker and Chick-fil-a as you say; those are great examples of why things are so messed up right now. Sarah H. Sanders was refused service in the Red Hen … How dare they, RIGHT?!? No, it is the logical conclusion when you start giving any group special right to treat another group as less than human. I am speaking ‘constitutionally’ here: the reason the SCOTUS took a limited and NARROW stance on the ‘cake’ decision. You can have any opinion you want, as long as you don’t trample my constitutional right to live without harm and being treated as less than human. I don’t need or want any LIBERAL laws to force people to do services, and yet I want a network of men to say that people that HATE our community will not get one stinking dollar of our money, and then watch how fast they spin. If you follow those implications, I CAN then refuse you service based on my personal belief, but then you can share my deed with others in the market place or on YELP, in the end we are basically back to what amounts to modern Jim Crow laws, where it is open season on any group you want, just remember, they get to share your business practice too. Your Chick-fil-a is a great example, I worked in Corporate America, I don’t give a damn what Truett & Dan Cathy believes, and if I were the CEO, I’d have ONE duty to the shareholders, that would be to make the company as profitable as possible (while remaining ethical of course, Wells Fargo is a great example of crossing the line with illegal accounts, etc.) So, the whole gay debate was beyond stupid for that company. In the end, because they (CFA) is in business to sell sandwiches to liberals, to conservatives, to republicans, and democrats, and since I am pretty sure they sell to bigots, then I see no problem in Dan Cathy selling to LGBT guests, and there is the problem … shut up and sell sandwiches! However, that man spends MILLIONS on anti-gay rhetoric, and therefore, I absolutely refuse to spend ANY money there, but not to worry, I watched Sarah Palin promise to make up for all my dollars, and that Jeffrey, the ALL mighty dollar, is what corporations REALLY give a damn about. I’ll bet dimes to dollars the shareholders don’t care if gays eat chicken or marry as long as the checks keep coming in …

        I am well educated, I work many jobs, I don’t wave flags or sway peoples opinions, I do, however, vote with my dollars. I have a comfortable socio-economic status, and nobody is going to define my life for me or attempt to treat me as less than equal under the law. LOOK ABOVE, CHRIS and JULIAN wrote TWO VERY POWERFUL COMMENTS, I get what they say in bits. Can’t fight it, I just appreciate hearing what ‘opinion’ has DONE to them. Like it or not, the best and the worst of our community is on display to others. I try every day to be a man of quality, to be kind to all others, and to especially look out for those who need it, our society has become so unkind to one another and I see it a lot in the blog responses. If you truly consider yourself a gentleman (or a man of quality) you might consider rethinking your statement about how WE feed the hate, because every time we denigrate one of our own, then we must also own being a part of that community. I mean that sincerely and respectfully, mate! -HL

      • Dave

        Wow, I was going to comment on the way the gay community has forced itself on the rest of the world like some kind of collective monster, attacking anyone who dare oppose us, but you’ve already made the point. I’m perfectly satisfied keeping my business to myself, I don’t feel the need to go out and force my way life on those who choose to live differently.

        • Hunter4B

          Totally understand Dave, it’s like WE used to be on the same page, but now, WHO we are is ‘just ONE facet of the many sides of US’ and therefore we see each other so differently. If only we could ‘collectivize,’ a like-minded, respectful and generative group would empower individuals and teach intolerant hearts and minds. Either way, I always appreciate your topics, your posts, and for always being a warrior to the cause!

  8. bjjj

    You can be gay and still be a Christian and accept God as your savior. Personally I went through this same type of ordeal. I tried to live the “straight” life. Went to church, got married, had a family, did everything I was told and was suppose to do. But for me I was so unhappy and pulled in both directions most of my life. So of course like many of us bi-sexual and gays, I tried to hide it. I’d sneak out, see other guys, cruise around, watch gay (and straight) porn, hoping no one would find out. I think most everyone knew. Slowly my family came to accept (but doesn’t condone it) it over the years after much discussion, arguments, and tears. Still legally married, but mainly separated. My life would have been completely different if I only had been honest with myself years ago. However society, family, churches, morals, have a way of dictating how everyone is suppose to live and fit into a mold like everyone else. We are all different in many different ways. So many different religions, all with varying views, beliefs, methods of worship, etc. Yes there are even churches that accept gays and alternate lifestyles. Look at how many different versions of the Bible is out there. Many religions don’t use the Bible but other types of books for worship, which is ok as well. As I said everyone is different in their beliefs, and it should be respected. Why does there have to be so much hatred in this world? We all live on the same planet (earth), regardless of beliefs of how we came into being. Why does there have to be wars, political strife, racial tensions, hatred between nationality’s, greed between the rich and poor, judging of how people looks, feel, act, etc. We don’t have to agree with everyone, but at least agree to dis-agree. Can’t wait to see this movie and see how it ends. I hope in the end of this movie everyone ends up respecting each other, regardless of their family and religious views.

  9. B

    I try to be open minded but listening to some of you “Christian gays” is too much. Read a book, educate yourself and move past that religious BS.

    • BSintolerant

      Wow, what a stupid statement. Christians may hate, but that hate is on them. If you know the story of Jesus, JESUS DID NOT HATE, he died for ALL mankind so that we all could be forgiven. You may not like the story, but the concept is amazing, YOU ARE NOT BETTER THAN ANYONE ELSE, we are all equal and therefore no one should cast stones at others because we all have done good or bad in our lives. It is simply sad that many miss that the name CHRISTIAN means to follow in HIS footsteps and not judge others based on their own. It would be great if you showed that same acceptance of others here.

    • Dave

      Again, the point some of us are trying to make: you have your beliefs, we have ours. There’s no need to be insensitive.

  10. Lamar

    HUNTER4B, you are really something, kudos!!! You’re parents must be really proud of ‘who’ you are!

    My mother passed almost a year ago now, she once said of homosexuals, when I was child, “those white folks will do literally anything,” not realizing that I am gay.
    Fast forward, she learned much from me about men and the difference between “religion”
    and what Spirituality really is; which sadly, is mostly missing from Religion…

    In short, we became very good friends in the last few decades of her life. From the time I first moved out on my own, she said realizing that I am gay, “I don’t care if you get boobs bigger than mine, you’ll always be my Pete the sweet the sugar pot man.” Love of humanity, is stronger than religion. “Creator” knows what thee is doing, in accordance with nature, including homosexuality = natures checks and balance within our human populous. How you, yourself choose to live that is up to you, just choose wisely.

    If, we’re talking Christianity, it should have remained Judeo-Christianity, but since is not, it too, has been altered, thus corrupted, but that should teach you something about how your world dishonestly, operates.

    • Hunter4B

      😉 Thanks Lamar, you are my BFAM!
      I wrote an allusion to you in the “A Football Player Comes Out” [in a reply]. I hope it did justice to the amount I appreciate your good thoughts and words on these topics!

  11. bjjj

    It seems as if this movie isn’t hitting the big screen in any great numbers. In my Midwest city, although it was just released last Friday, Nov. 2, 2018, so far there is just one evening showing of this movie scheduled at a theater on Thursday Nov. 15th in my city. ( My city I live in has at least 15 megaplex theaters) I hope people get behind this movie, and help support it’s message and help promote the work and money that has gone into making this movie. I still have yet to see it, but the trailers sound quite interesting.

    • bjjj

      Seen the movie last weekend and yes, it’s a great movie, and it brings out the point that you can not change what you already are. Yes you can fake the straight life, (as I did for so many years), but deep down those that are gay or bi will always remain that way. I can’t believe the abuse that the movie portrays in the process of trying to make these guys “straight”. I know of churches that try to “convert” those that are gay, bi or lesbian. Overall it will never work. All those groups do is try to make those pretend there something their not. I think the movie was very good, although it doesn’t follow the timeline as I though it would. Like many movies, it starts out in the present and has flashbacks to the past, which sometimes to me can get a bit confusing far as following the story line. So far not many theaters are showing this movie in my Midwest area. I’m sure it will be out on DVD, and video soon. I plan to buy the DVD.

  12. bjjj

    Seen the movie last weekend and yes, it’s a great movie, and it brings out the point that you can not change what you already are. Yes you can fake the straight life, (as I did for so many years), but deep down those that are gay or bi will always remain that way. I can’t believe the abuse that the movie portrays in the process of trying to make these guys “straight”. I know of churches that try to “convert” those that are gay, bi or lesbian. Overall it will never work. All those groups do is try to make those pretend there something their not. I think the movie was very good, although it doesn’t follow the timeline as I though it would. Like many movies, it starts out in the present and has flashbacks to the past, which sometimes to me can get a bit confusing far as following the story line. So far not many theaters are showing this movie in my Midwest area. I’m sure it will be out on DVD, and video soon. I plan to buy the DVD.

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