Speak Out: When Not in the Mood
Photo Credit : Pride Studios
What do you do if your fuck buddy is not in the mood for sex and you are horny? Worse, what if you were on top of him, riding him, and he whips out his smartphone and checks out an email? (*Gasps* Horror of horrors!) Such is the case of a Redditor who shared his story here.
The commenters marveled at his partner’s ability to stay hard—I think that like me they initially thought the guy got bored while in the middle of having sex. Apparently the distraction was caused by a work-related email but that didn’t sound any better. I mean the two of them were supposed to be in the throes of passion and work should be the last thing on their mind.
Anyway, work is not an excuse to do this of course but his situation didn’t seem unique as other guys shared their own experiences which sounded somewhat a derivative of the guy’s story. Which brings me to this question: has this happened to you? What did you do? How did you feel?
Or, are you on the other side of the coin? You know the guilty party who does the same thing?
I feel horrified just by reading it, I tell you. Thankfully this has not happened to me and I hope it stays that way.
What about you? Have you ever been caught in this situation? Yes? Did you pull out of him, walked out of the room and never looked back? Or got mad but you ended up forgiving him?
Share with us your thoughts and stories in the comments section below.
I guess some men will do ANYTHING to prevent premature ejaculation!. Some guys have to visualize naked grandma–wrong on soooo many levels. Some prepare for their IRS audit (pretty sure to be a total boner-buster AND bring on a panic attack!). Others close their eyes and work out their next Fantasy Football pick (seasonal, at best). But if a powerbottom is sooo good that his man has to read and respond to work e-mails in order to stay in the game long enough to give his partner a chance to get his, then I say, “You go, Studs!” Take it as a compliment, ride on until you both got what you saddled up for, and joke (& talk) about it in the afterglow.
But make no mistake: that scenario is a helluva lot different from “No means NO!”
It sure sounds like he was in the mood (a good hardon is tough to fake, and a bottom can relax and add lube…but it still ain’t the same as him really being into it as you bore into him!). Bigger issue is if one man wants to make love, and the other genuinely isn’t in mood. Coerce? Connive? Communicate? Get pissed-off and be a bitch about it? Logon to A4A and see if you can find someone better (for you or for him?)…
Let’s face facts, men: we aren’t the sexual ly wanton, always-ready permastuds our sexual mythology would have us be. We are more than our dicks (well, most of us, at least; exceptions exist to every rule). Being out of sexual synch is inevitable, hopefully occasional, and a chance for emotionally-intelligent men to live out the mature masculine. Or be narcissitic, histrionic drama queens. Either way, you reap what you sow.
But if it starts to be a constant feature, look deeply at yourself, and ask your partner, what is going on: Too much scotch? Stress? 30 lbs. Wt. Gain? Unrecognized or undisclosed illness? Relational conflict? Viagra no longer working, and who wants to risk THAT kind of failure-to-launch…again?
Sometimes, a rose is just a rose. And other times, that stench in the bedroom is NOT a rose garden.
For what it’s worth…
I think people should be vocal and say I’m not in the mood. Just putting out the phone like that hot bubbled butt guy from the photo above seems rather childish.
It happened to me once. I just got up and went home. I felt mad that he wasted my time. The next time he wanted sex, I said maybe.
I don’t trust men who are not in the mood for sex. If I wanted to deal with that, I’d fuck women and put up with the bullshit. If a buddy is busy, fine. If a buddy isn’t in the mood occasionally, fine. If I have to wonder whether he is in the mood on a regular basis, he’s history.
when I’m entertaining, my bedroom is a phone-free zone. I make that clear before the clothes come off.
I don’t even like guys lost in their screens while we’re having coffee or dinner. only had one grab his phone while I thought I had his undivided naked attention. I stopped what we were doing, said ‘let’s try again when you’re not distracted, ‘ put on my clothes and went home.
My partner is always horny for me because I’m such a hottie. lol
I had a hook up one time, I got him nice and hard then he bent me over and started pounding me good from behind. While he was fucking me he kept getting text messages which he continued to reply to. He never missed a thrust, he was just a hook up, I got what I needed so I really didn’t care.
I just call another fuck buddy and pound their brains out. Thus, you need more than one fuck buddy. End of story.
That’s kinda frustrating and I think so also disrespectful. You’re having sex or giving a good bj and the other person pulls out their phone and starts texting or reading their messages. That like giving oral, stopping and checking your pintrist cuz a cute receipe came out.
You rub one out and call it a day. That’s what you do when your slam piece isn’t in the mood.
If the phone was more important to him than what we were doing then the guy is bored and RUDE! So if he’s more concerned about something else and himself then there is only one thing to do. You need to be as selfishly self concerned as he is. Just finish fucking him senseless with no regard for anything but your own pleasure and a quick orgasm. Then just get up, get dressed, don’t say a word and walk out of there! He’ll get the message alright, and it won’t be on the phone!
I actually had this happen recently. I’ve been FBs with a guy for almost 5 years (I’m 26 he’s 35) he’s very busy all the time so when we get together its always so good! This time I was literally had his cock in my mouth, and gets a call from work. So he’s says hold on just a second. Steps away to get it. So I’m watching the flick, stroking myself, he comes back, with the phone still on but on mute and I’m so hot at this point and he’s still hard as a rock I go back to sucking! So he pulled away maybe 2 times before he finally ended the call but by then, i was about ready to bust (I had went a whole week without) but it definitely killed the mood for sure! It was hot though to be in the middle of the act and someone could possibly hear us.
This behavior isn’t about “being in the mood.” It’s about “being just plain rude.”
There is no reason anyone has to answer their phone or a text or an email when they are engaged in sex with someone else. OK, well maybe IF they are part of an organ transplant or if there is a serious personal issue going on that has been discussed beforehand. And OK, maybe if a phone goes off repeatedly over 10 minutes, we could call a time out and check it.
If your sex partner touches his phone during sex, you have jumped into the sack with the wrong arrogant self-absorbed self-centered ass. If you touch yours, you are the ass.
What we’re talking about here is the simple matter of manners, being attentive, being focused, and being considerate. This expectation can be just too much for some guys. When they “can’t find a decent guy” or end up “an old bitter queen”, maybe it’ll finally be time they re-engineer how they interact with other guys.
I guess it’s a little offensive, but then again if he felt good in my ass and kept up the rhythm I don’t think I’d have stopped. Maybe say something later. Lol