Speak Out: How Do You Feel About Your Body?
A recent survey conducted by Attitude magazine revealed how gay men truly feel about their body. The vast majority or 84 percent of over 5,000 readers who participated in survey disclosed that they felt intense pressure to have a good body.
How true is this result for you?
When asked the question, “How happy would you say you are with your body?” Forty nine percent of the respondents said they felt “unhappy” with their body while an additional ten percent revealed they were “very unhappy.” Results further showed that only one percent of the respondents felt “very happy” with the way they look whereas 23 percent claimed they felt “happy” with their body. The remaining 17 percent claimed they have “no strong feelings either way.”
Is body image an issue with you, guys? How do you feel about your body personally? Are you happy with yours? Do you also feel the pressure to have a good body like most gay men out there? Do you have body image expectations for yourself and your partner or potential partner? Do social media help shape or build our beauty standards and our image of what is beautiful? What is you ideal body type?
At the end of the day, regardless of what we see and feel about ourselves and other people, the truth is that nobody is perfect and everyone feels lacking about their physical appearance in some way or another. We are all flawed and that is okay because imperfection is normal and it is beautiful in its own way.
Do you agree? Why or why not? Share with us your thoughts in the comment section below.
I feel very unhappy with my body. I’ve never been in shape, my attempts to get into shape have always failed and I’ve even lost a relationship over my weight. So, yes there is a lot of pressure in the gay community to have the perfect body and if you don’t have it, you’re often ignored.
Jason, do you want me to help you and give you a diet and suggestions based on your height, weight?
You simply don’t eat the right foods…or don’t exercise….
Dave I want diet suggestions and strategies
I concur. It’s hard some people to lose weight and there’s so much pressure to have the perfect body. I have days when I avoid the mirror.
i look in the mirror nude an say “damn im hot”.
You go boy!
I don’t like my body.I’m to fat.
Ido not feel good about my body because I lost weight and now I have to wear a tight tee shirt to keep from the fat and skin from showing. I have big legs and feet as well as my hands. I weighed 303lbs. at one point. I am now I am 248lbs. I am also recuperating from Gillian Barre syndrome but I am doing well. But no I do not like the way I look. I try to watch what I eat as well
Hey Joe,
I’m curious as to how old you are and how long ago you had GBS. I too had it back in 2006, was an extremely severe case too. Took about a month of many misdiagnosis before I was paralyzed. I spent a month in ICU, then 2.5 months in a warehouse facility and received NO physical or occupational therapy. It happened to me when I was 40 years old, still have yet to fully recover from it.
Interesting. Personally, I’ve never been unhappy with my body image as far as I can remember. I’m not the most muscular dude but I have an ass that could put a horses ass to shame and a little 4 pack that I’m not even sure how I keep since I like to drink…a lot. Thankfully I have genetics on my side, and a macrobiotic/pesca diet doesn’t hurt either.
However, there is a degree of truth that there is a bit of a body image stigma amongst the gay community and I’ve traveled enough to notice it also varies by location as well. It also tends to be more amongst the younger crowds and some older. I’m 26 now, and I’ve dated my age to as old as 53. All in all, I believe at some point that the guys (most not all) who are phased by what I’ll call the “Adonis phenomena” will grow out of it, and become more content with themselves both inside and out.
“Hold Me Now. Warm My Heart. Stay With Me.”
my body could be better, but I’m hyperintelligent and freakishly overendowed, so it all evens out.
if I saw me in a bar, I’d wanna fuck me.
Hahaha! Awesome man, this is the kind of personality and spirit I enjoy most. Contact me. Profile – Onixstar
Just a quick scroll many of the profiles on Adam will give you a clue as to how important body image is to gay men. The last one that I just read stated, “Especially fat man I find you repulsive.” So many of the profiles state no fats, fems or oldies. So the pressure is on to maintain a certain look or suffer rejection by those who are looking for an “upgrade” as I was once told as a gentle putdown.
I hate my age, looks, etc. I was never a twink, hunk, or athletic. I have always been somewhat overweight, and now have a few health problems. I’m 65 now, still have a lot of desire for sex and friends, but most guys avoid anyone over 40. If the internet had been around when I was younger, I’m sure I would have done a lot more play, cared more about myself, and done a lot more fun sexual things. But back in the 60s and 70s there was no internet, A4A, and other hookup sites. But who knows? I was never athletic and good looking way back when I was in school. Always been sort of an outcast. Oh well, that’s life, but thanks to A4A I have met some nice guys, even if we just chat and never meet.
Back in the 70s and early 80s, people did NOT care much about your body type and there were numerous bath houses, gay movie houses, tea houses, parks with no police harassment (in New York City at least, there was NO enforcement of the park night time curfews), etc. where you could have sex (we now say “hookup” or euphemistically “dating”) regardless of your body type. The muscular trend started only in the second half of the 90s. Before that time, you could count on the fingers of one hand the number of muscular guys at a packed bath house!
In fact, after AIDS started in the early 80s and until the mid-90s, it was a good thing to put on weight so as not to look “sick”. After the new treatments came out in 1996, guys no longer felt the need to put on weight and instead started going to the gym in large numbers.
Well, I had a great time getting dicks (small, medium, big, giant, three-legged with condoms or au naturel with warm man milk, be they black, brown, white, or yellow) from the late 70s through the end of 2008, always adapting to the body trends that were in vogue. At the beginning of the 2000s, I used a low carbohydrate diet coupled with three or four days per week of gym exercises to get a toned body with a superb chest and great anal/rectal muscles control. That is what it took to get Mr. Right-Now while waiting for Mr. Right who, however, never showed up since he was not BOLD enough. His LOSS! In any case, I have scored with nearly all the men that I desired except a few like Leon, Rudy, and Stephane. Too late unfortunately.
I am thrilled that I enjoyed myself to the utmost since I have now enough good memories of my trysts to fill the rest of my life.
To the “moralistic” guys (aka “church ladies”), eat your heart out and enjoy the DOLDRUMS!
An important clarification. By “three-legged” men, I mean men that have dicks almost down to their knees like Leon – because to me they look like they have three legs. I found out a few days ago on the “urban dictionary” that the term also means a transgender man. I NEVER had a transgender man in my life although I made one “MASSIVELY” cuckold by having his/her husband in the first half of the 1990s (hubby prefers au naturel and has a “long, slim, hard dick that reaches deep”)!
As for little J.F., you look good in your dark Down Low (DL) armoire; stay there! Just make sure you recite your famous “homework” correctly next time! It was truly a MASSIVE embarrassment to your MASSIVE crowds last time.
And remember guys, the universes NEVER, EVER lose!
Being happy with your body comes from within. Body shaming and pressure only happen if you let it happen. That is what this world has come to. I am 5’3″ and 180lbs. Dark hair and green eyes. And let me tell you “I am damn sexy”. I don’t let anyone tell me I am fat or ugly or don’t have a nice body. I might be heavier then some but it is truly what is on the inside that counts. You can be the most fit and well built guy and be an asshole and be just as ugly inside and out. It is all in how you carry yourself and take care or yourself. Personal hygiene and grooming. Wearing clothes that fit you right. Guys who are bigger need to own it. Some people can’t loose the weight like others can. And just cause the muscle guy next door does not want you does not mean that the guy in line for gas at the store does not. Keep your heads up guys. Small or big. Muscle or stocky.
I’m not exactly fat I’m 6 1 and weight 178 but I’m not happy with my body is have a little beer belly that just wonto go away
For me, I’ve always had an issue every now and then regarding my body. Some times I feel like I’m way to skinny for anybody to actually like me. I used to wonder when I was gonna grow facial hair but when it finally started coming in (about when I was 25), I didn’t want it. I also always felt (and still do at times) why or what was the problem with my weight and why I can never gain the pounds I actually want. I guess going to a gym would help but I’m actually afraid of that place. I feel very weird going up in there. I’ve passed by so many and always tell myself “Go in” but once I get to the door I just end up bypassing it and keeping on my way. I’m in my early 30’s and I still can pass off as a 11th-12th grader, getting carded is always a thing for me. But I guess since I have young parents that don’t even look their ages is a great factor in my own biology. For those guys out there that think they’re way to big or whatever, just know that some of use thin guys also go through something concerning out weight.
I’m 6 1 and weight 178 I have a little beer belly and feel ashamed of my body the gay community doesn’t want to take a.look at you unless your a model with abs of steel and a ass of a God
I’m happy with my body but it doesn’t come easy. I mean you got to work out and watch what you eat almost everyday if you want to keep that body tight and looking nice. I’m in my 40s and work 50 hours + and still manage to go to the gym. My main thing is CONSISTENCY CONSISTENCY and CONSISTENCY!!! so important.
I personally am of the seventeen percent whom could care less either way. I dare to reason it is because even to be looked upon by mist male (gay or not) is to be just as good as being invisible. The culture is tormented by the Hebrew/Christain demand of “sexual orientation” to the extreme that one may as well be a dildo without a face, body or person at all. Hyper-excitement And preoccupation with activity indicates an inability to relate psycho-emotionally? If one doesn’t exist even as that one stands before another why would that one regard what those eyes see? Therefore to proclaim that social pressures are responsible for “poor self image” is, in my opinion, illogical to insane and should cease to be. Alone I like how I feel an so am satisfied with me. I look in the mirror and see a “person” that has learned to much of inferiority to highly regard the mentality of many and feel sorry for most based upon “personhood”. Features neither flatter nor devastate so much as interactive mind.
Person the apparent typos… Cell phone and a very lowminded hacker. The latter should be hard to believe I agree…
I could feel better about my bod. Need a gym partner.
I have the perfect body. If i were a blue whale or a hippo
Well if that is how you feel. Then you be the best damn blue whale or hippo you can be. Sex that shit up. Keep your head you and your eyes forward. Someone out there loves whales and hippos. And if you are not looking up you will miss him.
Because I am a hardcore cyclist and because I train for triathlons, I have to eat nutritious food. I’m very fit and very happy with the way I look. I am an older guy at 56, but look more in my early 40’s. I am repeatedly told that I am hot.
I feel like shit about my body very unhappy, i know that i need to make some lifestyle changes, and get back into the gym soon, that is probably why i am not getting hit on by other guys, or having enough sex period, i weigh 180 pounds and i have a 35 inch waist, i am 5 feet 7, i just keep praying for a miracle to happen though i don’t know though.
I’m not as happy with my body as I want to be, so I am doing something about it. I joined a gym and have gotten a personal trainer for a couple of months. Better to pay out some money and learn to do things the correct way than to hurt myself. Only on my second week but feel better about myself even if I can’t see any improvement yet. It all starts with baby steps.
Probably in my best shape ever (5’11” and 160 #) with full brown hair and great blue eyes. Think my appearance has mellowed out for the better since my 20’s and 30’s. But now 70 years old so way beyond consideration to most folks.
I’ve been through a roller coaster with my body satisfaction. I have never noticed a difference in my fit, but I have noticed the benefits working out has had on my mind. I’m much happier when I have worked out once or twice a week, and without the financial means to continue, I’ve seen my happiness plummet once again, and the pounds from stress stack up. For me, though, I believe that having a specific body is required for a healthy relationship, and I can openly admit that when I’m regularly working out, both my mind and body equalize. That being said, however, I still require a bag over my head for guys to be interested in me, and that is something I will never be able to change and be happy about.
I was trying for years to lose 10 stubborn pounds to get to my idea weight. It was very fustrating. My face was fatter than I wanted it to be and I felt that I didn’t look right in my clothes. My belly was round… I was kinda depressed. Everyone said I look great but I wanted so bad to lose 10 pounds to feel great. Unfortunately back in January I got influenza type A. I was out of work for over a week. I had no appetite and felt terrible. Had to go to the hospital to get a IV. To make a long story short I lost 15 pounds and I look fantastic. I don’t wish that way I lose weight on noone but I almost want to thank god for making me sick. My face is slim and I look unbelievable in my clothes. My appetite is back but I refuse to gain a pound. I weigh myself every single day and will NOT gain that weight back. Its a psychological thing. I feel better about myself. I look younger I’m told, more sociable and been buying more clothes lately. Went to church last sunday and wore a designer suit. I know I look great. My stomach is flat now and the sex is so much better.
i have a skinny complex,im 22y/o..5’11,150lbs. 28′ waste..my family keeps sayn eat im tooo skinny.
i try but i cant gain wait i must have a tapeworm or just my genes.
Much like the rest of my life I hate my body and feel it has kept me back. But that is life with 4 inches. Guess things could be worse.
Everybody is talking about weight on here and I’m talking cock size. 4.5 here and always unhappy. Just once I’d like the head to hang downward because of gravity. Many times my balls hang lower than my dick. Of all the medical miracles out there, they can’t make a man’s cock bigger and realistic? Can’t even imagine what it is like to top a guy. And whenever I’ve tried to, the condom either falls off or gets lost inside. Don’t need a great big one, but the 6 inch guys don’t know how lucky they are and how envious I am.
I don’t like my body and I don’t like how I haven’t done as much as I could be doing to make it better. But then I ask myself, when is enough, enough? Will I ever like my body?
My goal is to fit abd healthy. An aesthetically pleasing body is just a byproduct of that.
I’m older, slightly overweight and my hair is graying. I’m me, I don’t care what anyone thinks about me because if you can’t – or won’t – accept me as I am, you’re not worth my time. We all have flaws, some are physical, some are personality related and others are mental. Dont project your personal issues on others, love who you are or you’ll never be able to love another.
I’m blessed to have a pretty hot looking body for my age….
While I personally don’t think I’m all that good looking, it seems my opinion doesn’t matter. I’m regularly hit up by guys and have buds who tell me otherwise. I’m fortunate to have more frequent and.better sex now than I did when I was younger. The secret has been to cultivate a small group to great men in my life. While none of them are “primped preened and perfect in every way ‘pretty boys’,” they are great men and great sex partners.
I don’t like my body at all. I continue to suffer from severe anxiety about my body. Mainly my cock size. It has held me back from having any type of soca life. I actually developed ED because of anxiety. I am convinced that no guy find me sexy. I mainly blame our community’s obsession with being hung as ideal
For me I don’t like my body, especially my cock size. I think much cock is too small and I avoided most contact with men and I developed ED. I can’t date guys cuz I am afraid they’ll reject me cuz of my cock. I usually service as I don’t like guys touching me. It is better now with ED meds, but still anxious and self conscious. Our community’s obsession/elevation of big cocks as superior is very harmful.
I simply hate my body! I avoid doing swimming, let alone getting naked in front of a guy. I have tried for many years to change the way I look, but I have always failed. The gay community expects an Adonis like man. It is very hard to survive that pressure.
I struggle with body image issues – I know in my mind I’m in pretty good shape, though no one will confuse me with Ryan Gosling. And now that kind of nerdy is in, guys always tell me how attractive I am. When I see myself, though, I see a lot of imperfections and spots where I can lose fat. Funny enough, a guy was hitting me up online and because my legs are thick (and I have a Latin booty), my weight sounds high, and he really went in on how I should stop eating pizza and join a gym. When he saw my pics, he changed his tune, but I indicated that I had no interest in someone who put “chubby” people (his word) down. He seemed honestly surprised. It hurt my esteem a bit, but for another guy it could have been worse.
Some guys can be incredibly shallow and vein, and think that they are just “being honest.” I shudder to think what some people have dealt with on hookup sites. Seriously, not everybody can afford
To spend 50 hours a week in the gym – and a guy with balance is sexy well past his 20s.
I’m ok with how I look now after a dramatic situation had me drop about 60 pounds without a gym. And while I could tone up a bit, my motivation is for others acceptance not my own desire for a healthy life sadly. For this reason I have HUGE anxieties about going to a gym or generally “trying to improve myself” in public for all to see that I am imperfect and struggling to reach something unattainable to some degree. I feel stuck in a rat race with constantly moving goals that I will never surpass. So I focus on being witty and fashionable. It works for now
Good bods are worked for…if ure living a fat boys life style doing nothing to improve, ure only making it worse for ur future health….start by walking…..most importantly is diet…loose the fats, bread, pasta, junk foods, and sweets…restrict diet to one meal a day…..preferably protein…a man can loose weight quickly when focused…..I dropped 70 lbs as a heavier weight lifter, but at 5’9 220lbs eating anything but not being able to adjust in a suit made me crazy….a social get together and admitting part of the over 200lb club did it….I busted my butt..stayed focused…pumped hard and dropped 70lbs in 6 months…now at 150lbs which is the ideal wgt for my height..feel and look the best…no gut…and constant interest….in and out of the sack. If you stay focused, eat right, a high libido & life will offer man -y new opps, & results no doubt men..
I have to say I get turned on by seeing my nude body in a pic or in the mirror. lol I’m very fit and bike over 5,000 miles every year, so I have very long sexy legs and nice lean torso with a hot cycle ass that makes top guys lust after me. I’m just saying it like it is. I’m an older guy at 56, but even many young gay guys lust after me. I get a lot of compliments how hot I am from lots of people.