Racism : Race and the Gay Community

To say that it’s been a tumultuous week in American politics would be an understatement. Over the weekend, what have known become known as the #TrumpTape was released, exposing the Republican presidential candidate bragging to then Access Hollywood host Billy Bush about sexual assault.

Further compound this with the second presidential debate Sunday night, which gave birth to even more talking points, such as Donald Trump seemingly threatening to use the Department of Justice against Democratic presidential nominee Hillary if he ever becomes President.

However, this quick succession of political firestorms for the Republican presidential nominee overshadowed a brewing discussion during the vice-presidential debates about race and privilege in the gay community. This stemmed from a tweet sent out from the Twitter account of a gay dating app, which made light of the possible deportation of minorities if a Trump administration came to power.

The controversial tweet read “If Donald Trump gets to deport 16 million people, I want you to think how much hotness would be lost”. This prompted responses from a lot of Twitter users, who labeled the joke as not “funny”, “demeaning”, “racist” and “marginalizing”. One user even remarked that the gay dating app’s “POC fetish is somehow more important than people’s lives being uprooted and families being torn apart”.

While that conversation about the fetishisation of people of color was happening, a parallel one was being had about how gay dating online was itself full of prejudice, privilege, and racism. One user on a news site even left a comment about the story, saying “How many profiles on it say ‘whites, latinos, and asians only’ or something to that extent. Most guys are eliminated before the first message is sent.”

It’s certainly a topic that needs a far more nuanced discussion that can be had online, and one that has certainly been debated within the gay community itself. As for A4A, we’ve always been inclusive on this site, and it’s reflected in part by the users that are on the platform. There is a wide range of ethnicities on A4A, with African-Americans and Latinos making up the bulk of non-white users but there are also Asian, American Indian, Middle Eastern, and Pacific Islander users in the site’s demographics. As a company, A4A does not tolerate racism of any form so if you see something let us know.

That said, things can always be improved, whether in and out of the online gay community. When does something become more than just a preference and become outright racism? How can race and how we talk about it as a community be better improved? Feel free to share your thoughts with us in the comments section below!

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  1. Jay

    To say that A4A is inclusive, when most of the men considered to be “hot” that get posted in this blog are white or latino is laughable. All you have to do is look at the porn ads that are blasted all over this site to see that what you have said is not true. You can talk all you want, but actions speak louder than words. There are tons of different ideas of what “hot” or “beauty” is to people outside of a muscular/skinny/bearded white or passible white man, and that simply does not get reflected here. This same issue has been raised multiple times by users on this site and their cries go unheard. How does this blog CONTINUE to say one thing and do another?

  2. Dapoo1

    I tend to not soeak woth anyone that says only one type a of race as insee a problem with people who see color when selectong a mate friend or what ever.. mo matter what group you are in its all unattractive. Being a black man its more hurtful to see my own brothers with such writings on their profiles. I do not and have not ever fought racism with racism and never will.

  3. Jon d'Arme

    Let’s not jump to conclusions here about preferences being the determining factor regarding whether one is racist or not. While I do not make my preferences known in my profile, I (like EVERYONE else on this site) have them. Whether it be tall, short, lean, fit, cut, uncut, shaved, hirsute, cub, butch, fem, daddy, son, black, brown, yellow, red or white, we ALL have preferences. While I may love my fellow man, I certainly don’t find all of them attractive or to my taste. This does not make me racist.

  4. Johnny

    Is A4A serious with this bullshit? You’re part of the reason why racism is allowed to flourish on here! All you do is post white men and white-looking men in this blog who are in super top shape, and exclude others perceptions of what hotness is. Anyone with access to this can see that! Stop being so damn two faced and saying one thing and doing another! This is disgusting that you had the nerve to post this article as if you are suddenly “helping the cause for POC.” When you start practicing what you are trying to preach, maybe your words will hold more weight….until then, ONCE AGAIN whoever wrote this has failed. So sad that you can be told OVER AND OVER again by members on this site to be more inclusive and you refuse to do so… I literally just went through the last 10 pages of posts by this DAVE joker and every post had whites in it. Two where about men of color and one was negative, and the other simply about the guys “humongous” dick. WHEN WILL YOU EVER LEARN? Stop trying to sound like you are at the forefront of equality and fairness for all races when you clearly cant even reflect that in what you post. #dumbashell #getagriponreality #stopthelies

    • Dave

      Johnny, we use photos that our porn partners give us. By the way I scroll back to posts over the last month and I see like 4 black guys, latinos etc… So i have no clue what you’re talking about. We don’t post about ethnicities every day too, for us, everybody is the same we don’t need to call people by their skin color on a daily basis. Like that post about “sex at office”, showing a black and a white guy. I didn’t even think about them being different. I liked the photo and posted it. Everyone is the same.

      • D

        LOL that reply is similar to – I’m not racist, I have a black friend.

        Gay men are one of the most racist bunch of people I’ve met in my life. ask your Asian friends, it’s terrible. There’s a stigma against Asian men in America.

        My profile with my photo gets one or two clicks a day.
        Profile without photo get a few more but not response.
        Fake profile with white guy same stats and desc gets messages all the time.

        • Dave

          I personally think that racism has something to do with lack of education. In my entourage we are white french canadian, white english canadian, african black, haitian decent black, european white, arabic lebanese, white greek, white italian, columbian latina, indian gorgeous and curvy (my girl Paddy) and we never even talked about racism. We never refer to each other as our skin color. Being racist is being scared and with education you know things. You can’t be scared of someone because of his skin color, therefore racism doesn’t belong in my circle of friends. I could not be friend with someone racist.

  5. anonimatovato

    Donald Trump is the last straw in this country, Hillary is less than perfect, and she has her fair share of ‘shade’, but that guy is so fucking horrible!

  6. Kevin

    I think we all have preferences, but sometimes how they are stated can be the difference between “just a preference” and expressing hostility towards another race, which is totally unnecessary. IMO, I don’t think preferences really need to be verbalized at all. If a guy you’re not interested in (for whatever reason) hits you up, you can always say “no thanks” and move on without insulting him. After all, he messaged you because he liked something about you, so responding with unnecessary hostility is rather douchey and just makes you look like you have issues.

    That said, despite all the civil rights advances, gays are still somewhat socially oppressed, and oppressed minorities often tend to act out by being openly bigoted and even being somewhat eager to express their bigotry towards others. I think it’s just an ugly part of human nature. I don’t think there needs to be a gay town hall meeting about race; it’s unlikely to change anything. If a guy is trying to make you feel bad about your race, you should sleep easy knowing you just dodged a bullet.


      I know I’m late to this party, but I’ve been a adam member for over 18yrs , maybe longer, and I’ve never ventured below because it never was paged to attract people like me. I’m 62 and only now my first day here it’s clear to me why. But before i get to caught up into this fore I’ve lived through these cigarettes and smoking jackets volleys of opinions before,that seems to have been formed through perpetual cataracts.Am I the only one that Noticed Kevins unchallenged slant on “everyone should just say no thanks, if they are not interested . I saw there was a second paragraph, I told myself “waaait for it” and dam if Kevin didn’t disappoint by putting the nucleus of the continuance of bad behavior, boisterous cries of foul, and it all comes from being as HE ACKNOWledges ( would you make that same acknowledgement at your job, or at your families T-Day dinner,you just might knowing you have a shovel of shit to throw back on the black community as always being the extreme. Pleease take my next few lines for what it’s worth I’m 62yr young Daddie and have been running in this “Gay Community of yours” Indeed there was a time of Semblance,Oneness ..kinda! anytime before the words ‘Yuppie, Movers and Shakers” and a myriad of those “YOUNG >>>>>whatevers clubs” Straight White America was able to lull you back into what I think is the Caucasian coat of Arms The Crest enblazened across your chests, IN ONE HAND THE THROATS OF PPL OF EVERY NATION THAT WHITE AMERICA HAS DESTROYED OR STOLEN FROM WITH NO REGRET TO THIS DAY, AND THE OTHER THE WORD GREED and this includes white women more then you because of their unearned, unwarranted bestowed gift of being the standard of everything perfect, Right, Virtuous, and can emasculate and destroy the strongest among you with a few carefully chosen words “He did ______ blank to me, as is prevalent today, even though seven white men were the catalyst to this whole ‘Me Too” madness yet who was the first to be shamed,crucified, stripped of all the good of nearly sixty years of playing the white mans game,CALLED him Americas DAD<,I wouldn't treat my dad like that Where are all the powerful white men and women who lit his cigars, rode him around in their escalibers,Imitated his Fat Albert Montra at every given chance. Blacks fought along side you during Stonewall, yet right after that Blacks had to show 5 ID's to get into the Hangar, and the others only if we were accompanied by one of you,The eagle, Cockring, Pieces and unless you were just Snow-bunnie personified white guys managed to procure black dick, that brother had to be out by $am, before white neighbors would see, and hand him a few what was call midnight trade tokens for the subway, n ot even a cab, those who sold they're dignity like that I view as casualties of the mental genocidal war, thats started with WillieLynch and still plagues many Blacks today.Kevin what you hear are two things when you say 'Minorities are the ones who act out" when your voice isn't heard for 400 years what you call acting out we call "shutting It Down" and your feelings about !. Never being able to come back with such wit,animation.solidified in truth, a lil trait handed down by our ancestors working those 12hr days in fields for 300 years and no pay, and before you say it, yes all of you are still benefitting from the atrocities of oppression that we just can't seem to all agree that it was wrong and some kind of reparations, I mean the Japanese, received for their little few months is nice clean close quarters albeit guarded, and the Jews for something that didn't even take place on this land, today every faction of Latino under the Sun is welcomed and bus loans offered, school tuition, just because they speak two languages, which most Americans especially blacks were deprived, but suddenly it's a gold star, now the rudest and arrogant of them all who gave been taught through white maass media before sliding over to this country on sandals in the snow that black neighborhoods is where you start to build your wealth change a light bulb, raise rents, buy up everything, do little, hell what are they going to do, weve redlined they're communities, so who is going to bail them out, Oh and Indeed we have our fair share of Dark skin caribbeans and Africans who one would think would become allies, who tend to view b lacks here in this country and lazy, how dare we live in the land of the free, land of Milk and Honey, Buying into the mass visual propoganda that has introduced Blacks of this country for centuries via race movies as late as last year, the race cartoons, minstrelsAl Jolson, Buckwheat etc, yet with all they're accomplished accolades they come and do whatever to brown nose they're way end and slam the door behind us as we get shoved out, not realizing that we were not living with milk and honey, we were living with Jim Crow, Lynchings,Seperate and NOT EQUAL. So tell me Kevin would I have a right to get upset when you equate tthe Gay agenda to that of the Civil Rights, they two monumentally different causes, as is the Gay Black Agenda, which i'm sure you just gagged, because the idea of they're be a Gay Black Agenda probably has never danced across your lobes.But no worries because most Black Gays wont know in detail either, because survival everyday is so much more important than trying take away a personss right to have an opinion about a way of being outside of the "so Called" natural order, it's understandable, Look how much acceptance and legal rights and protections Gats have garned in just the past 15yrs or even since Stonewall in the sixties. Remarkable what can happen when you make people listen. Native Blacks have been asking for ONE SIMPLE THING SINCE THE ENDING OF SLAVERY…One thing Kevin!……EQUALITY.. They always say " we need to sit down and and Have a Frank discussion about Race. It'll never happen because this long ass response in type is the only way you made it this far without rebuttable or interruption, or some self serving fact that either doesn't apply or the result of said fact coveniently left out

  7. MC

    While having a personal preference is always understood widely, having a personal preference with the intent of degrading, racism ,etc seems to be a bigger debate but as a young gay male in today’s world I personally feel that this issue while worth talking about needs to be put on hold, what we really need to be debating is the policy each pres.nom will bring and how we as the people are going to influence a critical decision soon. Honestly all I have heard is heresy but nothing about the goals of each nominees and how that will play out . I don’t like either but when shit hits fan who do u trust with the power of the president? Trump or Clinton ?

  8. ADSW

    For me this plays out in one of two ways. 1) Outright rejection due to skin color. Some try to intellectualize this into “preference”. To a degree I can see why that’s a somewhat valid argument but moreso, I just see this as you are conditioned to think the races you are excluding are somehow unworthy of your time, thus, racism.

    2) People only are interested in me because I am black and they have expectations that come with that. They are exceedingly vulgar, asking for BBC and for me to perform sex acts that are kind of savage. Mind you, my profile does not let on that I am into any sort of crazy acts (I am, but damn, you could at least come to the conclusion that I’m into the things I’m into by asking, not assuming from my skin color). Pretty much they fetishize my skin color and assign me characteristics I may or may not have.

    Both are equally as tiring because at the end of the day, who I am is overshadowed by my skin color.

    Then there are the great people who don’t give a fuck that I’m black and we have great conversations, great sex (maybe) and the world keeps turning. I love those people. 🙂

  9. Derrick Templeton

    So if I’m just not into white guys does that make me a racist? Or even black men who are only interested in white are they reverse racist? I get hit on by white men, nice guys buts just not my thing

  10. versabottom4top

    A4A should stick to what it’s good at – running a gay dating site. Leave the politics to the politicians and the electorate to hash out on their own. I notice you conveniently left out the latest revelations regarding the dishonest and ruthless Clinton machine that have been exposed through the hacked e-mails. Maybe you should apply for a job at one of the major media outlets.

    Neither A4A nor anybody else will ever end racism or any of the other “isms” out there because nobody can control what somebody else thinks. Sure, site owners can do their thing and say what they want but it won’t change anything and every time they do there’s always the risk of losing followers. Maybe you don’t care about those members, and that’s fine; it is your forum. Aside from those communities we see rioting and burning down their own neighborhoods because of some perceived injustice, the gay community strikes me as a close second place in terms of a willingness to claim victimhood without taking a good look at the reasons they feel that way and why others feel the way they do about them.

  11. 2pack

    I am Indian and I get that a lot of times. “Sorry not into Indians”. And it used to bother me earlier.
    But when you think about it.. Most people on here are looking for a quick sexual encounter. Not saying everyone, but let’s be honest.. most of us who logon here are lookin for that. And if you feel you aren’t sexually into a certain look then I think its OK to be upfront about it.
    If I have any self esteem i wouldn’t sit and cry over it.. Though it sucks.. But its a part of online dating.. And we signed up for it..

    What could be better is how we communicate and being polite and respectful goes a long way. Happy hunting everyone.

  12. Onetochillwith

    Sadly it won’t be until the gay community learn how not to be so self absorbed and look at the in side of the person and not just the outside this is one of the main reasons there are so many lonely and in some cases bitter people in the gay community

  13. LovesAllRaces

    There’s still a huge amount of racism in the gay community. Some people don’t like to acknowledge that they are racist so they hide it under the guise of “preference.” I guess we have a bunch of people who aren’t bright enough to realize that discriminating based on race = racial discrimination = racial prejudice = racism. Making a decision to not hire someone, befriend them, love them, or fuck them based on race all fall within the same category.

  14. Bttm4topsNSA

    Racism is kept alive by the ones being racist themselves so, quit trying to lay the stupidity on someone else and accept the responsibility for your own actions!

  15. BJ

    A4A is not innocent. White beauty standards are pervasive throughout media and it influences us all to reject, stereotype, or fetishize those with darker skin. And that media includes gay porn. Everyday I see ads on this site featuring black men labeled thugs. Sometimes I even get messages in my inbox for porn just to remind me that black men are thugs. In fact I’ve never seen black men in a porn ad on this site not described as a gangsta or a thug. Then we wonder why white men have a problem seeing black men as potential boyfriends and husbands, but at the same time are so thirsty for “bbc.”
    I saw something and I’m letting you know. Stop calling black men thugs.

    • Dave

      I get what you say, but our banner designers are advised about not using racist words, it goes against our values. A4A is the most multicultural gay website/app out there. A large proportion of our users are black and latinos, so yes we do showcase ads for these users as well.

      • BJ

        This doesn’t make any sense, Dave. Racist words are against the site’s values and designers are instructed to avoid them but black men are still labeled thugs and gangstas on every ad?? The site is clearly failing to live up to its own values then. You showcase ads for your black and Latino users? What does that even mean? Are you suggesting that your thug ads are how black men want to see themselves portrayed in porn? Because I can tell you they do not.

      • BJ

        These responses and ones you’ve made to other users with similar complaints on this article are communicating plainly to me that you don’t understand this topic. At all. Black men do not create the rules here. They would rather not be rejected or fetishized based on the color of their skin, but they realize that is the reality. So seeing them put bbc on their own profiles is not surprising. But it is also not indicative of contentment with a community only interested in them for their dicks. For you to suggest that it is is ludicrous. Dave, you and your site need to think a little harder about this. Again, stop calling black men thugs.

        • Dave

          Our staff is strictly advised not to use words like bbc, dark meat, black cock and many other words related to skin color. I’ve seen thug for both white, black, latino, arab porn site banners…but thug is not about skin color.

    • bjjj

      Black men are not “Thugs” That’s just as bad as calling them the “N’ word. Black men are not gangsters either. Not all black men have big black cocks. A lot of white guys have big white cocks as well. Most guys have average cocks, regardless of race or nationality. So many porn films promote the thug and gangster idea in their videos. The porn industry it’self is quite raciest. They will exploit anything to sell videos. It’s all about money and sales, right? Well, my BF is black and yes I am white, and so what. I’d never call him a thug, gangster, or the N word. Matter of fact he is the most honest and caring person I know. No, he is not a porn star with a perfect body and cock. Just an average guy, with average looks and an average cock and ass. Oh yea another thing, he does not have a “bubble butt”. He is just a very nice lovable, honest person. The only reason I bring up our racial difference is that I want people to see that a persons skin color or nationality is nothing more than the differences in hair color, eye color, height, age, size, etc. We are all human beings, so lets start treating each other as such with respect.

  16. Rod

    Gay theme apps are such an illusion! I don’t care if a profile states their preferences of race TO WHOM they want TO FUCK/hkup with! It’s a VIRTUAL REALITY N NOT REAL! So why debate over minor issues like this??

  17. Sparz

    It’s funny because a lot of gays (especially Asian and Latino minorities) are extremely racists against blacks. Their profiles, as mentioned, will say ‘not into blacks, sorry’ or they just flat out won’t respond to black gay men. Yet, these are the same people that wanna cry discrimination whenever a guy goes and shoots up a club full of 50 people. Lol. These are also the same gays that stay on A4A forever because they’re so busy thinking they’re above other, darker, men.

  18. Jeff

    A good while back I brought up to A4A Customer Service a point about the racial identity choices we have in our profiles. The first one on the top of the list is American Indian. I think A4A is a little behind the times with this designation. Most people call them Native Americans. Then again, perhaps a person born in the Americas might consider themselves a native American.

    I live in a place where there is a large community of East Indians. A good many have taken to using the A4A term American Indian. Why? I don’t know except perhaps they understand it to mean American / Indian in the same way as Irish / American, Italian / American and so on.

    When I brought this up with A4A they didn’t seem to think anything was wrong, nothing was done, and I was likely dismissed as another PC crank or something.

    Once again, I really think you guys should consider catching up to the present day language. There is nothing “Indian” about the true native race. “Indigenous American” would seem to be the proper term.

    If there are any Indigenous Americans reading this I’d love to hear your thoughts and comments!

    • Dave

      Jeff, A4A was created in 2003 and is a Canadian company, the owner is french Canadian (like myself and the director of the company) and in Montreal we say “American Indian” or “Aboriginal”, that is the only the reason. But our new site (coming up very soon) will have the right names.

  19. Paul

    Handsome men come in all colors, ages, races, shapes and sizes. People who limit themselves and say “no blacks” or “no whites” and justify it by saying ‘it’s just a preference” are really missing out. As a white male who has dated and who is attracted to men of all colors, I have never understood why some people feel this way…and probably never will.

  20. headsupguy

    All of us evaluate potential partners – whether “no-strings” or long-term – in a sexual context. It’s how we are “wired” psychologically, and there’s no shame in that. For the vast majority of us, vision is our strongest sense and our first impression of a potential partner is how he looks. Some of us have generalized preferences that may or may not include ethnicity. Others have long lists of required physical traits that must be met before physical attraction develops. So far, so good. This is a process called discrimination.

    Incidentally, “discrimination” is not a bad word; the process of sorting those who are attractive to us from those who are not is normal and acceptable. The word has taken on a negative connotation because it has been used in place of “irrational disrespect.”

    Racism is a form of irrational disrespect. We typically think of racism as the rejection of another person based solely on the color of his/her skin or other ethnic traits. But I submit that racism is also the objectification of another person based on his ethnicity. Those who are obsessed with “Big Black Cock” are racists who perpetuate an inaccurate stereotype and show irrational disrespect to all black men. Our culture and community should learn to disapprove of this type of racism as much as we disapprove of rejection based on ethnicity.

  21. Matt

    Racism is MASSIVE in the gay community. Just ask any African-American man who is valued first and only by the size of his dick. Then factor in how viciously judgmental gays are over age, body size, looks, and money. The gay community has a lot of growing up to do. Trump is NOT their enemy the “gay community think” is.

  22. TiredOfIt

    The “gay community” is as FUBAR as ever. “Objectivising” of blacks for having BBCs and Mexicans for having extremely pliable buttholes is just part of the fabric. I gave up some time ago supporting the gay community politically, because they just don’t deserve it from me. BIGGEST issue I have with them now? Spreading HIV with this “Just take a pill!” attitude that they back up with “Oh, there’s going to be a cure soon!” (Yeah, that everyone else can pay for, because I won’t.). Now, they’re the highest risk group of all for spreading HCV. Then, we have losers like the one saying that somehow “body size and weight” issues is somehow “racist,” and I finally realized….gay men are as dumb as are Trump supporters. Hell, 20% of the gay community is SUPPORTING Trump, and I think that’s the tweekers, which are outsized in number compared with the rest of the population at large. Sorry, gay community, you lost me quite awhile ago. Don’t think it hasn’t been fun….because it hasn’t!

  23. Tancredo Buff

    And who is to blame of all this? Well, you don’t have to go far away…it’s us for allowing to carry the same prejudices of a society that we are fighting for our rights. From the media design for the LGBT community to even porn, it’s one after another stating that beauty in the different type of gay men lies in a white men and when it comes somebody different they are treated to level of a fetish. And don’t go far away even this problem is reflected in media that are produced by blacks and latinos. Take for example the adds (even porn). White people sells the good, the other kinds sells the maladies of the world. In porn, the fabulous stories are sold with white guys but look at the quality when darker skin guys are used. Date applications only use white guys in their advertising even if they swear to be inclusive. Go to the log on page of Adam4Adam and tell me what type of guy they use. Go to the store page and tell me which type of model they use to sell the products. When you say to be inclusive and you don’t show it then you could be seen as a hypocrite. So the solution lies in really be inclusive and let it show to the costumer.

  24. pieces1974

    This actually goes beyond the gay community. The racism that in the gay community is an extinction of the racism that in the rest of society. We still have not learned how embrace each others differences. We allow our stereotypes and ideologies dictate the way we interact with each other. While I think that Donald Trump is a racist, sexist bigot, I can’t fully put any blame on for what already exist in this country and the gay community. Until we fully admit that racism exists in the community, we will still be talking about this because we are not having the conversation.

  25. marcus

    I remember about 6 or 7 months ago this site asked for suggestions as to how to make this site better and I brought up that you guys need to add more black guys in your stories and post. I honestly seen a increase in blacks characters on this site. I believe Dave when he say he don’t look at color. In closing alot of African American are quick to claim racism because of past practices or experiences in their lives in regard to racism. White people should def understand if they know the history of how blacks were treated and how for years they were classified as property.

    • bjjj

      If the white race would have treated other races and other nationalities with dignity, respect and treated them as equal human beings there wouldn’t be the racism that exists today. I blame the white, Caucasian race for most of the racism, wars, hatred, etc that exists today. Also religion also enters into the hatred as well. Many and most churches are quite raciest today as well. Oh yes, btw, I am white, and not proud of what white people did back in history and that which still goes on today.

  26. Jim

    Race and nationality is nothing more than an identification. Does it really matter if one is black, white, Hispanic, Asian, Caucasian, tall, short, fat, skinny, old, young, etc, etc? Yes, racism exists, and to me it’s really sad that guys (or gals), can’t get along with each other. I am an older white guy, and my very best friend is a black guy around my age as well. One would think that at our ages, we would be very prejudiced. however with both of us, age, skin color and looks is no big deal. When were together, we rarely bring up the subject of race, except when we talk about our families, and how non-accepting they are. We have been friends and lovers for quite some time, and yes, we do have fun sex with each other. The first thing we do when we get together is give each other a big sloppy wet kiss. and a huge hug. Oh yes, we suck and fuck and all that good fun stuff. But we also go shopping together, go to movies, eat out, travel together, and even visit porn shops. We get along fine, and trust each other. We talk about our lives, families, growing up, jobs, our goals, etc. Why can’t the rest of society be as accepting with each other, as my friend (also lovers) and I?

    • JIM

      Just to let others know, it’s now mid may and yes, we are still together loving each other more than ever. It’s not all about sex, it’s companionship, friendship, sharing each others ups and down, and of course sex and romance as well. There isn’t much that we don’t share, from kissing, and hugs, to movies, restaurants, shopping, travel, and more. Oh yes, sex is wonderful with him, and being close is one if the best things ever. Yes, he is black and I am white, I say well so what. it’s just not an issue with me.

      • Jim

        The biggest problem we have is that our families are so non-accepting, not only because I’m white and he is black, but also because the both of us are gay. So it’s sort of a double whammy of non-acceptance by our families, but also the community, and even the gay community. Never the less he is my best lover, sex partner, and friend. We will stay together regardless of what the world and and our families think of us. I wish people would just accept each other for whom they are, and not judge by looks, race, nationality, disabilities, etc.

        • Jim

          Here it is almost the end of October and our love for each other grown even closer. We have done several road trips together, and spent several nights with each other. We also have more planned and trips to do together.
          PS, he has a very nice smooth ass, a nice average cock.

          • JIM

            Were now into the middle of January and still very much in love with each other. Skin color, will it doesn’t even concern either of us.

          • jim

            It’s now March, 2018, and yes, were still in love, and doing all kinds of things. Have met several members of his family, and they have become more accepting of our relationship.

          • Jim

            Yes, were still together, still very much in love caring about each other. We don’t even talk much about our skin color differences anymore. It’s just not an issue with us.

          • bjjj

            Jim here, yes I am now going by bjjj as there too many Jim’s and BJs on this site, but yes I am the same person. It is now Sept of 2018 and yes, we still love each other and do all kinds of things together. We have grown a lot closer, and know a lot more about each other. We help each other out, and really love being with each other.

  27. Rick

    It was only about a year and a half ago I had a discrimination case filed and this is what happened they transferred it from Washington to San Francisco and then misspelled my name and never got in contact with me to here my side. LOL I lost my place and I have had to just move on. But I notice things like Spectrum censuring there adult m4m pay channels and I ask myself equal?

  28. bjjj

    I’d like to see a topic that deals with interracial relationships (not just hookups), the pro’s and con’s of it, how they get along, how their families react, and also their experiences with the public as far as not only being of different races but also gay. I know some people only prefer to be with their own race, but i know their are a lot of guys out there that actually have a on going relationship, being of different races and nationality. As for me I have a great friend, lover, and sexual friend that is black, and I am white. We get along so well, and do some many different things, that skin color isn’t even something that concerns us. We help each other out, and would do anything for each other. Some people in our families accept it, others don’t. We have been seeing each other for almost 2 years, and our love for each other has only grown closer. Others may have completely different experiences. It would be interesting to hear from others in interracial relationships.

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