Gay Stuff : Pushing Your Buttons
Sexually, guys are sometimes displeased with their playmate choices after surfing online, arranging to meet one another, and then discovering that they were misunderstood somewhere in the communication process. WOW! After going to the effort to meet, realizing you and your potential playmate are not in sync is very irritating. How could your potential playmate have misunderstood what you wanted, and the compromises you were willing to make?
So, do you feel that someone seems to be pushing your buttons?
Yes, you are probably right! Someone somewhere is always pushing our buttons….in all the wrong places.
When you are surfing A4A, remember that you are pushing someone else’s buttons. If you push their button favorably, you may have found the hot guy you have desired for a long time. Practice defensive prospecting…compared to defensive driving! You want your prospective playmate to feel impressed that you have sought him out within the thousands of guys on A4A. You want him to have a feeling of being special, and in turn he will more likely radiate the same feelings toward you. If you approach a potential playmate with a feeling that you are a love god breathing special air and condescending to reach out, your efforts will most often fail.
A4A members, what are your positive experiences in finding compatible playmates?
SexCounselor4U
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I find it irritating when a guy hits me up, and his first words are, “Wanna Fuck”? Why do gay men get so heated up over the prospect of having sex with a stranger that there manners fly out the window. Is that our way of stating I just want to use you and nothing else? Sounds pretty degrading.
These seem to do this on purpose, many think you will have sex with them anyone and chalk it up to the game. That’s one of the reason I like hear the voice and get to know each other before meeting. I mean what’s the rush? We aint fuck as soon as we meet anyway. Sad thing is that most of these guys are still in training and love to play games with a one track mind. They don’t read profiles at all or ignore it all together. You can’t make someone want to be with you so be honest and save you both some drama.
Have never had a negative experience with a guy after we’ve chatted a bit. If a guy won’t take the brief time to discuss what he’s seeking sexually, his likes, or provide a few realistic pictures, that’s a red flag that means we’re not getting together. This isn’t a case of endless emails or 20 Quesions. It’s a few fact-filled transactions online. Well worth the investment. If he grumbles about the discussion, that gets us to “no go” decision all the faster. And it sometimes means we learn we’re not going to be a good match. Good. We part amicably. Maybe even to give it another try a few months down the road.
I have a big, thick dick that is porn photogenic. I also have a body that is in excellent shape.
My profile picture is a frontal nude from the nipples down. My locked pictures are face and body shots (clothed).
I have my dick on parade for a reason. If someone messages me and wants to have sex with me because of my inches, I’m not interested.
My profile states “friendship” as well as my interests: cars, cooking, wines, cocktails, vintage anything…
I want to talk first and some have chided me for having the dick picture if I want to chat first, but doing so weeds out the idiots.
I’m perfectly OK with someone being attracted to me partially because of my dick and good looks, but I also have a PhD and am more than gainfully employed for my nearly three decades of living on this planet.
I work very hard for everything go after and want similar men to hang out with.
I’m multifaceted and well-read. If a man can relate to me on that level IN ADDITION TO carnal desire, we will probably work out fine.
Six months ago, a 55 year old man started chatting with me and never mentioned my dick. We talked about vintage cars and martinis. We talked about my profession and his. We talked about a lot of nothing.
So I asked him why he never “went there” on my dick size and he said that if I was interested in fucking him that he knew I would ask and if I never asked, he at least had a friend.
Twenty minutes later I was balls deep in him and I fuck him once a week.
A 55 year old man is not my type–not even remotely–but because he had dignity and decorum, I’ve gained a great friend and a pretty darned good bed partner.
To Joey’s point the opposite can be just as true–I am very up front about not looking for a relationship and I hate it when guys gets all boy-friendy after claiming they were just looking for sex too. Bttm line; say what you mean. If that’ s no, I don’t want to fuck, cool. If that’s I want more, that’s cool to. Just be honest.
I agree with Hunter in the regard that if the guy won’t follow a few simple(although unspoken) guidelines such as his sexual likes/dislikes are or even just a few lines of coherent conversation, then its not a good match.
I rarely hookup just because I rarely get what I want even though I am totally up front. One time I told the guy I am the bottom and I want fucked. He agreed. After we got naked he literally jumped on the bed and his legs were up in the air.
i think it in our nature as men to just hunt for sex..not always looking to get it but just hunt for it…for me if a guy will not have a conversation on the phone or meet in a public place then the deals off,..you can learn a lot from a conversation ..
Met a guy online for a Sunday afternoon hook up- that hook up lasted four years! LOL! There was no false advertising.
Fucking is fine, but maybe some guys want dinner and a movie before they swallow a cock balls deep in their ass or throat. My cock responds better if my mind is engaged in a connection with a man. Inaccurate descriptions really piss me off, 40 extra pounds, 5″ more on the waistline, a pic from the pre-digital age WTF! Im not fucking my old fat GrandPappy when it should be my strapping hung nephew.
“You want him to have a feeling of being special, and in turn he will more likely radiate the same feelings toward you” …
BRAVO! on capturing this line perfectly. I’ve had to drop this very line on a guy or 2 recently, but I’m not quite sure they got it. Although I may not be Mr. Forever, I am Mr. Rightnow – so treat me like it. If he can’t provide at least the illusion that I am the one (out of thousands as the article said), I am something special and make the time we hang out about me and us – well, I’m out then. Very few guys find it attractive, flattering or are indifferent when a their hookup strays into talking about their other current hookups, carrying on about how into them they are, etc. REALLY? Then where’s he tonight?, that’s my question. At that point, it’s time to leave and I think to myself once again – shit, I should’ve had a V8. 🙂
Seems like some people don’t want you to be direct and to the point. they seems to back off. Why? Then there are those who have nothing to say, except wassup or send a smile or a one word response. If you wanna meet, then meet, and you have “nsa” that means “no strings attached”. Most never read your profile anyway. if this is not a sex site for sex, why do you see so many asses and cock pics. We all want to fuck, just a matter of when and where. And to prove it is a sex site, just look at all the sex movie ads and sex sites advertised.
I agree with Joey and Hunter0500. My experiences almost to a “t”. If you cant reach me on a cerbral level, i dont have the inclination to want to know more about you or even meet you. If you cant act like a half way cultured person, then i dont want to meet the animal you profess to be or claim you can be in in the bed room. My profile is clear, if you cant read it and understand it, then you wont get me aroused enough to do anything else with.
Would like to ask Matt to share his profile name…. I sure want to see his big thick dick…..
Its a hook up site. Look for a boyfriend on eharmony. We are here to fuck or get fucked by strangers. Plain and simple. So many guys on hook up sites are worse than women. Fuck fuck fuck. Thats what men want. Who wants to make love? Just fuck me, breed me and get the hell out of my apartment. You served my needs. Get the fuck out!!! Next breeder
Ian, I wouldn’t call it a “hookup site” only. Yes most gay men use it as a hookup site…but many guys have found their lovers on A4A, some even got married through A4A 🙂 I think A4A is what you make of it.