A4A : Blog Code Of Conduct
Somewhere along the way to finding hot sexy playmates, some A4A members have veered off the road into mud-filled ditches! Why? Apparently they have decided to throw mud and be critical of their playmates and everyone who writes on the blog, users and the blog moderator Dave, rather than to be friendly and cordial. Isn’t it possible to criticize one another and at the same time express cordiality? Let’s have a code of conduct that is becoming to human males—not animals or robots.
CODE OF CONDUCT
We recommend the adoption of a Code of Conduct for submitting comments. All A4A members must make a special effort to be cordial and understanding—sometimes actually complimenting each other! Therefore, the following actions/reactions are needed:
-Avoid negative, caustic responses and comments.
-You are not the presiding judge—so avoid being judgmental.
-When offering an opinion that is not in sync with the originating blogger, offer a friendly alternative viewpoint to the original statement—don’t call the originator an “idiot.
-Couch your words in a way that is friendly—not demeaning or insulting.
-If you feel too angry or irritated to respond—cool off before submitting your response.
You may find the word “some” is more friendly than “always.” You may also discover “often” can be substituted for “without exception.” Our emotions are not set in concrete! Consider alternative language when responding.
We do not believe the majority of A4A members are caustic, negative persons. Apparently, negatively-induced blogs often result from failure to consider more than one viewpoint. The very essence of our sexuality is in the emotional involvement with each other. None of us wants to have a relationship with a playmate who demeans us or calls us an idiot!
We would also like to inform that the guys who ALWAYS bitch other users will be blocked and won’t be able to post comments in the future. Some users are already blocked, you probably know who you are. If you don’t see your comments posted, know that you are blocked.
Let’s keep the blog a great place to discuss, share and express different opinions while being friendly with each other. Agree?
Thanks
A4A Team
Hear, hear! I wholeheartedly agree. There is so little civility these days (the USA’s current election season, need I say more?). In kindergarten, we were taught to be nice and respect each other. Let’s gay and bi and trans guys do that in our daily lives and on the Net. Let’s act nice, live nice, play nice.
All the years that I been reading the blogs and posting my replies I can say that its only been a handful of times where people where mad and post something negative and that’s been now for more than 10 years now. Matter of fact the reason why they posted something negative was really just because they disagree with what the post was about, such as something about some gay porn star/actor. now there’s been times when the discussion has gotten heated because the topic was very good and other times where people felt that Dave was attacking them beside what the blog was about. I know he wasn’t attacking them but I’m just saying. a lot of times when I post my replies I’m neutral to what’s going on but I’m also making a point that is valid.
Now I will agree that sometimes the topic is a bit bland and boring but than again it is hard to come up with something new almost every other day and it would be nice if they (the members) could give Dave some ideas that would spark a serious discussion instead of Dave coming up with ideas. I have submitted plenty of ideas and a lot of them was used as a topic of discussion on here plenty of times and I will continue to do so. the one thing I will say is this, Sometimes A4A is a bit one sided when it comes to certain things or tend to jump to conclusions and perfect example would be when not to long ago you posted something about the gay labels (i.e. twink bear otter and all that stuff). you guys made it seem like every single gay person went by those labels and even though I know a majority of men who replied lied, not all of us do. I personally hate those gay labels. I’m not animal or some fairy. I just happen to be a guy who likes guys and that’s it. only gay label I go by is a gay male and that it. Dave keep it up cause I like reply to your blog as often as I can and i’ll send you guys more suggestions for blogs as well.
The adage that there is someone for everyone is never more relevent than in the Gay/Homosexual world of dating. The Gay lifestyle is a great Democratic equalizer. Social status, birthrite, schooling, all get tossed aside when the deal is sealed with a long gaze, sly wink or a telling smile. A hard dick has no conscience. Happy hunting.
It’s a nice thought, but good luck getting people hiding behind screen anonymity to behave nicely.
einathens : yeah this will also be changed for the new blog. People will need to register in order to comment. So no more trolls.
I think those suggestions are excellent. It is what is wrong with current politics, people are shouting and insulting each other, there is no discussion or investigation of other points of view. We in the gay community should lead by example and be courteous and positive in expressing our viewpoints. As my grandmother told me, you get more flies with honey than vinegar.
This post is a hoot! Dont be honest dont be real just pretend and lie and ummm yeah!
I totally agree! And while we’re being nice on this blog, maybe that will spill over into the website. I can only hope.
im sorry that should be the standard for how you treat all people. period!
I think a lot of the negativity is being caused by everything going on in society. From homophobic laws to the presidential race, I’ve noticed that usually sane understanding people have become participants in the cage fight. You cannot just politely disagree, in order to throw your opinion around, it’s accompanied with names calling and venomous retort. When ever I encounter this, I just walk away, I’m not going to waste my energy in a debate that shouldn’t be a debate.
I would also add courtesy. If someone is making a comment, politely say, “I’m sorry, but I disagree.” or say “Sorry, I’m not interested.” Don’t just ignore a comment or message – have the courtesy to respond. If you don’t respond, don’t get pussed if someone messages you again.
Okcmanhunt : I love when I get comments that are different than mine…sometimes I even write a blog to get reactions and different opinions etc…
What I dont like is when a user or myself write a blog post and then a user comments like “you stupid moron blablabla” like a 12 years old. This will be automatic block.
Very well written, full support here
BloggerBear : thanks
In this era of instant gratification and ananimity we are all prone to leaving responses that can literally be called READING! Iam not sure why we do it, but being Negetive instead of Positive in this case is easier. You know what they say about being Bad lol. It gets the most attention, personally iam too positive for my own good, and I kinda like it. Maybe at some point the tide will change and we can get back to sharing opinion, without all the snarkity snark snark.
This would have been so much more interesting had Dave not deleted all of the stupid comments in the first place.
Ironically, most of the negative comments I’ve seen have been directed at blogs that generalize, are overly opinionated, and seem to demean others. Perhaps some of the negative comments are reactionary for a good reason and while a code of conduct is a great idea, better editing of the original post that caused the outbursts wouldn’t go astray.
I get it, blogs will have trolls posting just to be disruptive idiots, but Dave censors posters for other reasons too. Mostly when he disagrees with their nonprogressive point of view, or non conforming and non politically correct posts. Its not all milk and honey and yes from time to time your petty feelings will get hurt but you are essentially say you will punish persoanlly any post that fails to meet you PC mindset so your feelings dont get hurt, so grains of truth DON’T REALLY MATTER, only feelings do. Why dont you just invite posters to lie to you outright because you want to hear only what pleases you (like my ex wife, kids and others who cant bear any grain of truth). PC rules to justify PC censorship….and no wonder people CAN’T interact at all, nobody values honesty or genuine input…not even you.
Emil : not at all…I dont care when people disagree with me or others, that,s actually fantastic that we can talk about it and have a variety of opinions…. I have a life out of the blog, don’t worry for me, it doesn’t affect me, at all:)
But when I get insulted or other members get insulted, it’s unacceptable. We are not teenagers, but grown ups and that’s the code of conduct for the blog. Not happy with it? Feel free not to comment and simply read if your keyboard just feel like insulting others.
Why bother inviting comments when all you really want is a compliant peanut gallery of yakking sychophants?
Excellent!