Speak Out : Tired Of Faceless Profiles?
When I surf A4A I am frustrated by the number of profiles with no face pics. If I want to chat with the guy in a particular profile, I would like to see his face without having to go through the CIA to get it! I understand the sensitivity of guys not wanting to expose their pics to the general public, but we are on A4A for the same purpose….hookups and relationships. We have the choice of whether to have a primary pic, a public pic, or private pics.
When I initially look at your profile I want to see a public pic of your face without having to ask for it to be unlocked. Faces are distinctly different. Cock and ass pics are very much alike. Those pics will not determine whether I want to get acquainted…your personality will!
If we begin to chat, I will feel a stronger connection if I can see your face pic. I do like big cocks to suck, and also the pleasure of anal sex too. However, I would especially like to see your face pic before we proceed.
Anonymous
I would like to agree, but in many ways I can’t. And while I’m not shy, I’m not “out” and I work in a public contact profession, I can’t afford to have my face pic out there to be seen as conformation of my sexuality by judgmental homo-phobes. If I were financially secure and I didn’t need the relationships that I’ve built over many years to provide my living I might feel differently. And while I accept people for who they are, I work for clowns who only see what people are.
Also in another way I prefer flirting Vs. bashing down the door. By being in the closet I can still flirt, or at least it feels like it to me.
Shoes come in many styles, sizes and colors because no one single shoe fits everyone.
I find it interesting that this complaint is submitted by “Anonymous”. Says it all. Your face pic probably isn’t even yours!! Some of us have “real world” jobs and dont want to be faced with limited options bec of being ” seen” on here. This is the internet, you SHOULD be cautious about exposing your identity. Haven’t you ever heard of Face Recognition Software?!
My pet peeve is not only no face pics, but also face pics that are from 10 to 20 years ago and look nothing like the guy does now. Not ashamed to just walk away when that happens. Be real guys and be who you are. You’ll stand a better chance and not make yourself look bad.
While I can feel the frustration of members who share these sentiments one has to remember that we are not all in the same situation here on a4a.
I have no pics up at all and I have no angst against anyone else who does not either.
I live in what is probably the smallest and most homophobic of all a4a locations and I do know for certain that there are a number of women here , locally , who temporarily sign on to this site and others to snoop around .
Once on here and able to access pictures they can be stolen and circulated on social media , thus potentially destroying someone .
Ass and dick photos while all well and nice don’t cut it because we all have one . And unfortunately they’re often attached to ugly people . Both physically and character wise.
If someone piques my interest and has decent ‘stats’ and can communicate in an intelligent manner and doesn’t come across as a whore who just wants to see how many notches they can etch on their bedpost I’ll take a chance on meeting them in person and see how it goes without any pictures .
Sure , what knowing who your talking to looks like is wonderful but there is a definite reason we don’t all have pics up as much as we’d like to .
Well stated Soft & Fluffy. 100% agree.
Has a discrete bottom I love to see a nice dick pic if your a top.. Bottom should have a butt pic ! There’s know way all dick an ass pics are the same .. I chose to keep my face pic locked until I find that hot dick I want! There are plenty of beautiful black dicks on here Wish I could find a few in my small town. Keep posting those big dick pics all you tops ! Us bottoms love them
Because we have a boyfriend we are cheating on. That’s why!
Hey,
I somewhat agree with the blogger. But the GREAT thing about Adam4Adam is you can have a profile without a face pic and it control who you let see. There are many reasons ppl don’t have face pics on posted. Here are a few:
Guys have wives/husbands
Jobs that require a bit of security
Shyness
So “bad ppl” out there actually copy your pics
Some people are not out
Some places ppl live are not safe to be gay
And this list goes on. If you don’t like profiles without pics just don’t click on them. That’s a very easy thing to do on your part. Not everyone shares your same opinion. Some people want or have to remain anonymous.
Just like the way you signed you blog. You blog would have been well received if you were to sign your name. I like to know who I’m chatting with.
Here here! I get being discreet and that’s why I have mine locked but I have one to offer. I get not everyone appeals to everyone and if one doesn’t find me attractive I’m fine with that. But I want to see who I’m talking to and they deserve to see me if I’m interested and somehow I’m a jerk for that.
And BTW, people are so willing to email me a face pic because they want to be discreet but won’t lock it on a4a where they have just as much control on who sees it. They claim they ‘don’t want it out there like that’. I don’t get that. At least it’s somewhat under control here. You can’t even right click and save it on here but you’re willing to send it to a complete strangers email where they can do whatever they want with it once they have it and post it here or on Tumble or xtube or ANYWHERE and THAT would DEFINITELY be out of your control?? I don’t get that. That is so stupid. You probably shouldn’t even BE on a site like this if you’re that scared of who sees you and just go sit in as booth at an arcade or invest in a bunch of toys and resign yourself to having sex only with yourself until you take the inevitable dirt nap that we all will take soon enough.
LOL what I hate even more is when your profile says NO PIC NO RESPONSE and faceless profiles still send u messages smh LOL.
I too would much rather see and converse with a face, as opposed to someone’s assorted “other parts.” I can accept not having pics displayed for all of a4a to see…I do it also. My private pics are all face/context pics, nothing x-rated. If I am sufficiently interested in someone, I don’t mind arranging to send more interesting things by some other means. But I don’t find it okay to converse with a dick or ass. I’m inclined to assume that’s all you are and probably your singular best feature.
Now, the reality is, most blank/faceless profiles have nothing to do with being “discreet” or “discrete.” A few may legitimately claim this, usually bi guys or those with significant others. It is far more likely that the owner is just stalking profiles, looking for those they deem worthy of their attention or the owner is unattractive enough for whatever reason that they hope someone will hook up with them without asking for a face picture.
The whole online experience seems to break between a 1950’s “oh my god! Someone will find out I like dick!” And a decidedly 21st century case of stalkerish behavior, with all it’s attendant creepiness.
Yeah, I like to see faces too, but this is life, not just your own personal pleasure island.
We’ve got complexities to deal with.
As someone who is NOT OUT, I would NEVER post an open face pic. That’s a no-brainer.
Not all of us live in west Hollywood or San Francisco or Austin, where these things are acceptable (or awkwardly encouraged, even).
So, all that to say, GET OVER IT, and give us respectable people a second chance.
I understand the need to want to see a pic of the person that you want to chat with. However, some guys are not out and that’s OK. Why can’t you chat with a guy before seeing their face pic, kind of like on The Voice Blind Auditions. Too many guys aren’t even given a chance because of there looks. I know guys who are really handsome, nice bodies, but real aholes. Other guys without the best bodies or the chiseled features so many of you seem to have to have are the nicest, most loyal people you could ever hope to have in your life. Give the regulars guys more of a chance. You might just win all around. Thanks
What is so difficult about asking someone to open their private face pic? Are you worried that if you see his face pic after you chat with him, it would be too awkward to ditch him because he doesn’t measure up to your handsome criteria? In my experience, the average looking guys are more giving in bed. Which makes for a way better experience. Stop judging guys by their face.
If you are seriously “frustrated” at the lack of face pics on A4A, then you must be coming to the site with EXPECTATIONS that everyone should feel the same way about face pics as you do. However, it’s foolish to have ANY expectations, since no one owes you a face pic, a dick pic, or even a conversation. Nor does anyone owe you a PUBLIC face pic (since having to ask for a pic to be unlocked is apparently a real chore). If faceless profiles offend you to the point of frustration, there is a very simple solution: don’t speak to them. Problem solved!
Frustration from the lack of face pics usually means frustration from the lack of being in control of the situation. This is why so many guys threaten to block you if you don’t have a face pic (as if the block feature is some sort of punishment for not doing what they say). However, for all those who are pissy that some people in life actually have valid reasons for not broadcasting their face in a public forum, where’s the conversation on face pics that are fake? Or retouched/photoshopped? Or old? Or just not a good representation of the person behind the screen?? There are plenty of face pics in plenty of profiles that are as fake as a $3 dollar bill. Yet no one is frustrated about that. But why??? Would you rather encounter a faceless profile from a genuine guy who’s not misrepresenting himself, or a profile that shows you all the face pics your little heart desires, but is as fake as they come??
If guys are going to be frustrated for not getting their way, maybe that frustration should be redirected toward those who are playing the game, showing you the face pic you throw a tantrum to see (just to get your attention), but are not really the person in the pic at all. The truth is…no matter how many face pics you see, you never REALLY know what someone looks like until you see them in person!
I would never have an unlocked face picture on a sex site. I repeat, sex site. I don’t want the entire gay community to know that I am on this website. I’m here for a hookup and if a guy takes good care of his body, then more than likely he takes good care of what is above the neck as well. I’m not going to marry him, just fuck him. And if you notice, those that have unlocked face pictures posted usually claim to be gl, but yet they are on this site 24/7. If you are going to post a face pic, atleast smile and prove you have teeth behind those lips. Hint, more than likely they have a second profile where all they show is their dick/ass. Miss Angel profile and Mr. Devil profile. How can you trust his face picture is recent or even him…..oops, that’s a different subject. Go to facebook and knock yourself out.
If this is the case, then where is your public face pic for this blog and why post anonymous?
Everybody wants different things, I won’t interact with someone who didn’t take the time to write a couple of interesting sentences on here, but if you did and we’re chatting I’ll ask for the face pic.
For me, I like a smart guy, you could be the cutest man on earth but you have to use your brain a bit. What you write tells me more about your personality than what you look like.
Maybe it works for me because I don’t have a face pic that will take your breath away, but get some nice chats when the torso is posted. Who knows?
I wish this was a requirement of a4a. You don’t have to have every pic be of your face but it should be required to have at least one public aproved face pic. Its unfair that some of us are willing to put ourselves out there in hopes of great hookups & relationships just for someone to pop in your inbox with a “sup” or “wanna play” and youre playing an instant game of guess who.
You want to see a face but you sign your essay-anonymous
I can understand your frustration however a good many of us on here need discretion and/or are on the DL so having a public face pic is not an option for us and having locked pics is one of the best features of sites like this. What you really should be addressing is the incredibly high amount of profiles with NO pics at all! That is much more of an issue here, you wanna see my face, just ask me to unlock. I don’t want blind dates, I too prefer to see a face before meeting someone. If you have no pics, then why be here at all!
while i can understand the want or need for not having public face pics due to jobs, just coming out, not wanting to come out or w/e. i think not having a current face pic to at least email directly has got to be more my pet peeve.
and if you have one, not wearing anything that covers up your face. ie; big sunglasses, caps pulled down, head titled to cover most of face w/brim of hat, out of focus etc. if you want to blur a pic, blur out those that aren’t you, it’s not them i need to look at. or is it?
all these do for me is trigger wants not to meet, even in a public place.
As with most cases the guy could have a great personality and fun to talk to etc and you enjoy talking but soon as you see a pic its “not interested” or blocked. Had this happen many times. Talk for hour about everything and soo as pics are open they block me. If you look at their stats and you dont like a big guy or twink dont talk to them. Bunch of shallow people out here say they look for more than looks but soo as pic is seen doesnt matter what else you have you already judged by looks
I agree…that’s the truth I feel the same way..
The biggest problem is there are lots of people with face pics from20 years ago or not even them!!! Just because someone has a face pic doesn’t make them an honest person!!! If you like the way their profile reads then you should be willing to meet and decide if you are interested in them!!! I met my bf on here and neither of us had a pace pic!!! Went out on a limb and it worked!!! Not everyone wantss their face floating around for various reasons!!!
Yes a faceless pic is all too common on this and a host of other cruising sites but there is hopefully more to that pursuit of connections than just a pic. While we can all surely relate to that hook up gone bad where the stats and or pic surely had to be from 15 years and 40 pounds back we can also relate to many users need for discretion in their cruising adventure. Now the pic that accompanies this post today surely was added and is not that of the author but bet three out of four guys here would jump at the chance to get at those firm pecs and more without second thought of asking for a face pic first.
No face pic in the profile leads to the adventure in seeking out online hook-ups and lets one chat openly based on their profile and get a feel for them without any preconceived notions on their GQ and Speedo-model wannabe looks. I do think every profile should have at least one pic for all to see…whether that be a torso shot, an x-rated cock pic, or more. I will say that I have been more often pleasantly surprised than disappointed on hook ups that come to fruition sans face pic for it is first and foremost the person you are going to meet.
What about others? This should be an interesting thread……
if I chat or smile somebody I open my locked pic if they like what they see and respond then we can see what happens if not then I lock it back up
Faceless profiles don’t bother me, an asshole will be discovered more by what writes and not at all by what he looks like. And since I’m HIV positive, I get shunned by everyone which puts them into the intolerant misinformed asshole category. I feel sorry for most of them.
I’d hate for my wife to somehow run across a public face pic Yikes!
First, it stinks of two-facedness when u post as Anonymous. Why not go ahead and write down ur name n surname if you really wanna show us how uncaring of ppl’s opinions u r.
Second, in a very homophobic country like mine, where ur pictures can be circulated on online forums and gossip blogs, it a no-no. Before u know it, u prolly will have the police knocking ur doors, nearly lynched in the streets or ur folks embarrassed cos they recognize u from a gay site.
Oh and thirdly, one thing internet fraud has taught me- That too fine face is just a scam away. Some unlucky exhibitionist’s picture is displayed and u r milked dry cos u thot u found ur Adonis. *scoffs*
I’d rather gay men thot with their heads and not with their dicks ever so often. But hey, that’s too much to ask on a sex-selling site, ain’t it?
blah blah blah
if this is the worst problem you have today your life isn’t going so badly
We all have the option on our own account to see only profiles with pic. If you have issues, don’t get bitchy, make changes.
Not all of us on A4A want to be out. That’s a personal choice which is none of anyone’s business on here. Also if I want to have anonymous sex once in awhile without jeopardizing my professional career that is also nine of your business. So if I choose to have a profile without a face pic, that’s my right. If you don’t like it you can fuck off and move on to the next pretty face that has no brain, no job, and no class.
I agree with most on here of the option of not showing a face pic. I use to but had a problem with someone I dated and broke up with them. He proceeded to stalk me and sought to hurt me using others. So I had to change my profile name and local keeping my pics locked until I started a continual chat with someone or they requested. So there are as many reason almost as many profiles without. If I don’t like the profile information posted I move on….NEXT!!!!
Lucky you, Anonymous! (ironic that you didn’t post your profile name). You can show your face without any thought of possible issues with coworkers, friends, family, etc. How wonderful to feel you don’t need to offer any kind of understanding of other guys and the situations they may be in. Sure looks like you feel the whole world your playground and you are entitled to face pics. If that’s not how it is, that sure is how it’s coming across.
I trade face pics with guys I’ve had some discussions with and with whom I’ve developed some kind of connection. I hold off on meeting any guy who will not, after a reasonable time, offer up his. That’s a red flag. I pass, too, on any guy who holds face pics as a requirement for introductory chatting.
I agree with most post on this Topic. I am bisexual and not out. My employment is another issue who wants to be ridiculed about having sex with guys when you are bisexual or fired because someone found out your Sexual desires are different then the Mainstream? So for me my profile photos will stay locked until I feel comfortable otherwise.
24K Play.
A face pic is a personal choice……I get so sick and tired of these kats on these sites getting all bent out of shape cuz a guy wont show them a face pic…..yal need to realize that this is the internet and people steal pics all the time and claim them as there own. Like I said this is the internet and just because a person shows u a pic doesn’t mean its an up to date pic or even them for that matter. I always say if u that caught up on seeing a face……meet up…..I feel if both of u are that confident in your looks it shouldnt be a problem with meeting up and showing face. We suppose be grown men on bere and as grown men u should be man enough to meet up face to face and if u dont like what u see u should be man enough to say you don’t like wut u see and keep it moving. Its that simple……before cell phones and all these apps thats wut u did when u wanted to link up with someone….smh……yal make shit more difficult than it need to be.
I won’t rehash the arguments for and against having a face pic, however, I do take issue with the idea that a user should be REQUIRED to have a face pic. Your way of life is not the only way; so let each person do their own thing. Fine if you don’t want to interact with people who don’t have a face pic, but to have the audacity to assume that they only reason to not have a pic is because one is ugly and to demand that people not only be required to put their face on a4a because you think it’s right, but also require that it basically has to be a DMV or passport type photo is selfish, rude, and shows a lack of empathy (probably the same way you feel about picless profiles).
And stop and think for a minute about all the people you’re missing out on interacting with that might actually add some value to your life if you took the time to get to know them rather than making a snap judgment based on one pic. Perhaps the site should go the opposite way and not allow face pics.
My personal pet peeve is those that say they are only looking for friends but PIC is the first thing they say? Really?!?!?! You can’t even have a conversation with someone to see if you have mutual interest? You really pick your friends based on how they look? For hookups and dates I get it (it’s shallow, but I get it), but for friends?
I always hate the “unlock picture” option on a4a!!!! Sometimes when I click “unlock” it won’t open my private pics and other times it will. I’ve been on a4a several times but I still prefer to keep my pics my private haha.
Too many guys take sites and apps so seriously. All the guys online are doing their own thing. If there’s something–anything–about a profile that rubs you wrong, move onto the next one. Life’s too short to be frustrated over really small stuff. Eventually, you’ll probably find someone who’s at least compatible for the night. Wanna know a guaranteed way to always see who you’re chatting with (and with no “catfish” risks)? Logout and actually GO OUT! lol
I totally disagree that profile pics like one pictured here are common or not distinct. I WISH there were more faceless profiles with bodies like this in my area.
YES I’m tired of it, very tired. Maybe some of these guys who won’t show their faces are ashamed of who they are…how sad. No loss on me though….let them get a therapist, I don’t have time for it….btw, I post face pics….
I have been on A4A for a number of years. I have found that my dick pic gets a lot more attention than a face pic. I am not ugly, just older than a lot of guys on here. Like me, most are looking for younger guys, so you have to post the pic that will get the most visits to your profile.
I don’t have a face pic in my profile because I don’t want just anyone to have my face pic. If I’m interested in someone, I have no problem sending it via email. For those whose profiles have NO PIC, NO RESPONSE, I simply pass over. There are plenty of fish in the sea.
I agree 100%, I would rather have a Face Picture, than a chest of cock pic. Who cares how big your cock is, if you do not know how to use, what good is it. And I am finding with this sight, 99% are only on it for sex.
Thank you,
Alan
DO NOT SHOW YOUR FACE!!
Unless you are very comfortable with him. I showed a face pic to a guy thinking it wouldn’t be that big of an issue. We ended up not meeting because he was a psycho and he used my face and very little info I gave him to track me down online and find out who I was, threatening to ‘out’ me to everyone acquainted with me including my family.
You never know who the psycho on the other end is. Be discreet
Wow, a few of the guys commenting are clearly closet cases or not hot at all. Some of you have partners or wives! They must be important to you if you need to cheat on them without being found out.
If you are a guy that likes guys and you can’t risk being out while living in America you are a coward, a seriously sad person who still can’t reconcile who they are. I have been beaten for being gay, I have been discriminated against for being gay but I’ve never had to be ashamed of it like some of you sound.
I post my face pic here, as my public pic. Because they will see it when we hookup or whatever anyway. If you go to someone’s place to hookup, do you know if you’re being recorded? You don’t, and that guy could post it to social media and ruin you. But, only because you choose to hide who you are, I can’t imagine the stress and guilt that must cause.
I subtract two inches from dick size.
I add 10 years to the age if it is above 30.
I subtract 2 years if the age is 18.
I add 20 pounds.
Guys who are “vers” are bottoms.
Guys who are “bottom” are drama bitches from hell.
I assume everyone is HIV+.
“Anything goes” equals “I’m unmedicated POZ or wanting to be POZzed”
“generous” equal prostitute
If you require to see my face pic before we chat, then we are not compatible. End of story.
I could give a rat’s fat ass if you reveal a face pic or not. Super misleading. I’ve hooked with guys who only remotely resemble the expression they had when the pic was taken to even make it a valid criteria. And some are simply more photogenic than others. Before internet we relied on phone hook up lines, and other archaic means. It was far less complicated and nit picky than all the ridiculous expectations we have assembled now. I’ve revealed face pics, only to be directed to a phone number, then an email then a skype number. So many of you guys have no sense of adventure and have made hooking up a tedious fucking chore. lol.
Yep. Truth!
It doesn’t exactly bother me. They usually email it to me if I ask. If they don’t send me one, its cool. It just means I more then likely won’t hookup with them. The things that piss me off are someone having a false pic of their face/body. Or they have like 5 cock pics then they ask you if they can see a face pic. Sorry guys, thats not equivalent, so dont get pissed if someone refuses.
I don’t like faceless profile especially similar to the one posted up and if the guy does have a ripped body and has an ugly face that’s a turn off, and the most common excuse I hear are they don’t show their face because they are “discreet”.I personally prefer a nice body and a handsome face to match.
A good spectrum of responses posted above! I’m one of those guys with a public pic of my cock. That’s why I’m here – to find someone who is interested in sex. If you’re not sufficiently interested in what I’m offering a face pic isn’t going to change that. If you have a locked pic and I find your conversation stimulating I’ll unlock first and ask for reciprocation. If you unlock first I’ll unlock without being asked.
As another reply indicated, being out doesn’t keep your image from being exploited or having negative repercussions. My BF knows I’m on here (we play together and separately) so I’m not hiding from him, I’m not hiding from my family or employer… but my employer has clients that I work with and it’s best that my private life stay reasonably private.
So, Dear Anony, if the first public pic is a cock, ass, navel, armpit, nose, foot or kneecap – just move on. But it might be interesting to ask a user why he picked his kneecap to be his primary photo.. 😉
Why do we have to make everything so complex? If you require a face pic, skip over the profiles that don’t have one. There are plenty of profiles with face pic to choose from. I respect everyone’s decision to post the pics they feel comfortable posting on A4A. And I cannot believe I wasted my time commenting on this absurd topic.
My boyfriend used A4A to cheat one me and his profile was faceless so like the guy said thats a good reason to not have a face pic so you can cheat
Well, I understand what your trying to say but due to many reasons some do not want to be out or outed because having a face picture on here. I personally am not out and live in a very small town area but I do have a face picture in my profile and it is unlocked. The way I see it if someone should know me and wants to say something to others my only response is why were they on the site. I just figure if it’s going to happen it will.
As for your post, it seems like you are a hypocrite complaining about face pictures but are anonymous. But maybe all you did this post for was to draw some drama.
Face pic locked but available here… For the same reasons already mentioned.
Anonymous contradicts himself right off the bat. If “personality” were all you were looking for a face pic wouldn’t matter either, it would be the words in the profile that tell you who you are talking to. You want the face to judge the “attractiveness” of who you are talking to. Period the end don’t pretend it’s more.
I think the ones who say it’s about where they work are full is shit they are in the closet and are a shamed of who they are, who are we kidding a lot of the faceless guys don’t even have a place to play or they want money for a room or a ride “not much of job” I would say, so all men with no shame keep on passing up faceless pics and I think that Adam should create a section for no pics and faceless and I’m sure things would change,,,,, cheers to my gay beautiful faces gay men
with so many copying face pictures i would never put a face picture on a site like this. do you know how many frustrated gays you piss off on a daily basis on this site by not returning mail or telling them your not my type. now if they can copy your face picture and download it to there computer who knows where your face picture will end up for others to see…nope never no way a face picture…
Yes, show me your facepic so I would ignore you and stop replying to you because I find you unattractive lol!
If t
Would you turn down the guy in the faceless photo above? Hell no, you would ask how soon can he arrive and offer to pay for his gas.
The 2016 photo process to meet will be as follows:
1. Face pic
2. Full body nude pic
3. Dick pic
4. Butthole pic
5. Last bank statement pic (with final balance)
6. Got any more pics?
7. Declined
8. Blocked
9. Repeat with next person of interest
is it not true that when you dl’s, DO meet up with someone…you are then NOT anonymous?….and can ‘spread stuff’ about you as easily? just saying
I am glad that everyone has the option to participate with or without a photo and that we all have the option to control who can see them. Personally, I have both public and private photos and I make sure I look good AND like myself. I am always flattered when someone meeting me for the first time says that I look like my photos. I would suggest A4A add another feature of a locked face picture that can be unlocked separately from other private picks. Seeing a private pic labeled face pic or XXX might help the guys that only want to see one or the other know in advance what is available.
There are several logical arguments to bring up related to not posting face pics:
1) Professional careers. In many situations, including teaching, 18 year olds, while being legal to log on to such sites, can see photos of employers, teachers, tutors, etc. and report them, adversely affecting their careers. Careers tend to matter more than potential booty calls, if one logs onto a4a for that.
2) Stalkers. Someone sees you at the bar, recognizes your face, and does not leave you alone. They hound you on a4a, you block them, then they generate another profile. Etc. Etc.
3) Enemies and mobbing. Someone you upset, for whatever reason (you slept with their bf, you took their parking spot at a store) recognizes you. They harass you. Their friends harass you. Again, etc. etc.
4) Availability. Most individuals with an account, myself included, will unlock their face pic in a heartbeat if someone seems genuine. To demand a face pic be immediately posted is tantamount to many of us demanding nude pics be immediately visible. It is about convenience. Unlike employers, stalkers, enemies, etc. not being able to immediately see face pics for professional and safety reasons, for whatever reason, many do not share nude pics while sharing face pics. I would be scared to openly share face pics given any employer can easily create an account on here and recognize a potential face but probably not me nude. Does that apply to anyone else?
Anyway, that is my two-cents worth.
I show my face and I like to see who I’m talking to too. Look up my profile elisalasthethird
You are on a fregin sex, dating whatever site, who wants to converse with someone without a pic? If I were into ghosts I would visit a haunted mansion.
But it’s those who post pics of them bending over spreading their ass, so distasteful and unattractive, it’s a huge turn off. You gotta be a real pig to do that.
Or people who posts pics of them 10 to 20 years ago and lie about their age. They will only get far to someone walking away from them if they meet.
You want to be faceless, go to a bathhouse.
Its 2016, if your face isnt the first thing i get to see, then that tells me your into playing games and/or not serious about this and you should try eharmony rather than waste my time
I agree with the writer
It’s pathetic to see how intolerant us gay people have become. It’s as though we love being 5 year olds – so I can’t get things my way and nobody wants to play with me so to hell with everything and everyone! How silly. People will continue to do what is most expedient for themselves, their lives and their professions and as such many guys have chosen to have anonymous profiles. From my experience the best encounters (sexual or social) that I’ve had on adam4adam came from people who did not post face pictures. I for one will NEVER put a face picture up on adam4adam (especially since it’s full of men with the mentality of the writer!) and if not meeting up with anybody is the price I pay for that then I’m more than willing to pay it. When will gay men realize that life does not revolve around HOOKING UP??? Simply put, if you do not like guys without face pictures DO NOT TALK TO THEM. It’s as simple as that. What’s the crying for? Are we all 5 year olds???? LOL!!!
HERE HERE! Well said Jeremy!
Just about every profile withour a face pic suffers from a severe case of closet syndrome.
My face pic is not public because A: I’m not out, and I live in the bible belt where being gay can cost you friends, business, and even your life. The 21st century hasn’t reached here yet and I can’t move anywhere else at the moment. And B: I’m not here to make friends, chat, find a BF, or any other personable romantic shit. I’m here to find people who want to fuck, plain and simple. The easiest way to find someone who wants to fuck is to show them what they get in bed. I do have a locked face pic that I will unlock for anyone interested in meeting, and I insist on getting a face pic before we meet, but it’s purely for safety reasons not judgement – and that should be common sense for anyone.
I definitely connect to certain facial looks, and they aren’t always models, since I’m not. Eye of the beholder. But I also understand the risk leaving a face pic visible. I thought A4A had a profile hider, visible only to members logged in. That’s actually a good feature. I knew a site that had thay feature, but they suddenly decided to unblock for any non-member, thinking it would drum up business. I deleted my profile from there. I guess the best I can say is, every member needs to do what works for his peace of mind. I hope they at least fill out basic stats, description, and preferences, though. And if the face may be an issue, we agree beforehand that if we get along but the face doesn’t click like that, we can skip the sex and stick to acquaintance. A little compromise and realism and a little less drama, makes a better time, anyway. It won’t always go our way. Only fairies can make wishes come true.
It’s 2016, people. Have an unlocked facepic.
I as a faceless guy here laugh at all your comments I have heard time after time here. You are all the same people who believe you are god’s gift to humanity, which makes me wonder why don’t you fix that cracked mirror you seem to look in every morning. And then you block people w/o pics which is still funny cause we can still see ad read your profile for laughs.
Some people, myself included, have very valid reasons for not having a face pic opened. I do have one and it is locked. I’ll open it at MY discretion. My profile says I’ll unlock when you spark an interest. I also ask guys to have something more to say than “sup” or “unlock.”
With that all in my profile here’s a sample of a conversation several months back:
ME: Hey, what’s going on?
HIM: Unlock
ME: Really?
HIM: Yes you’ve got half a body and no head. Why are we even
discussing this?
ME: Because you could have said something better than
“unlock.”
HIM: Why? You should have naturally done it when reaching
out and used your manners. No one wants to talk to a
headless profile. GESSSSSHHHH
ME: Reread the profile and don’t EXPECT manners when you
haven’t any.
HIM: Blah
HIM: Typical low class demented Middle Aged gay.
HIM: They really fucked up your generation.
HIM: You’re an old over the hill fart.
By the way I’m 42 and he is 34 if that matters.
After his last 4 comments, to which I didn’t respond, he put the block on. I did the same and reported him for TOS abuse.
A4A temporarily suspended him.
Need I say any more? Oh, and if you are reading this and recognize yourself, thanks for sparing me from having met you face to face!
I look for pix first when I receive a message. If I dont see, it gets deleted without being opened. May seem heartless. Its 2016 and people have to get a grip. Unlock a pix if initiating the chat as thats what I would do.
I was working as a probation officer in Texas long before Internet when I came out. I was threatened with jail time and being fired. I went on to work in criminal justice for 20years. People came out later BECAUSE of me. I’m not the relationship type , I’m here to fuck and fuck often I do ( thank you A4A)!. And I’m not young , I just workout regularly, eat right and reduce stress. My profile says ” no pic, no chat.” And yet I’m deluged with faceless offers. In short , if you’re faceless or posting inaccurate pix, you need help! And all this ” love me not my looks ” stuff is crap. I know because your pretty boyfriend comes to me to get sex while you sleep off a fast food combo! Hell in one case I even fucked a dude’s wife! Yep there are women here !
My face picture is unlocked on a need-to-know basis and the dick picture gets way more attention anyway. I don’t bother with anyone who has no posted pictures at all–if you don’t want to participate then don’t log on. No, you can’t email me a picture because you don’t have my address. And no, I don’t have more pictures–at some point you have to decide whether to take a chance or not because when you open the door there are only two kinds of men in the world: the ones you’ll fuck and the ones you won’t.
this may piss a few of you off but it is what it is. I have the same issue on here grinder and jack’d. I put my face pix up and I like someone else said have to play a game of “guess who”. now lets disarm this “I’m DL/I’m discreet” cop out. now that’s nice that your DL and discreet…hooray for you. I don’t know if anyone has thought that far in too it but SOMEONE gay is going to see you when you go to meet. plus being DL went out with the Macarena. what I will say that all the apps need to do is have a “request private pictures tab” if I send you one and you accept it BOTH of our pictures automatically open up VS us playing that YOU unlock…no YOU unlock 1st because I hit you up”
You ninnies crying about a face pic up front are just judgmental queens trying to find your LTR on a hook-up site.
Do you also troll the baths looking for your husbands too?
Ever consider that looking for NSA also means ‘not looking for a relationship’? Why would I want to have a relationship with someone who had to see a pic so they can decide if they want to say hello.
You think I am ‘shady’ for not posting a pic?
I think your shady for assuming you should have pics up front.
I can understand reasons that people do not show a face pic. I let him know I would like to see a face pic and if they don’t have one I will meet them in a public place but I may or may not be interested when I do see them.
The thing I hate though is people with no pics at all that ask for your private pics to be unlocked in their very first message. Often times they also have no statistical information about themselves.
I don’t share my face pic because i am a private person. I have a very sensitive job and the last thing I need is to be outed by someone who is bitchy and bitter for no given reason. But a lot of guys wouldn’t know what to do with profiles with faces on them anyways. They’re always asking for private pics upon initial conversation, you open it, and the conversation is cut short. And these are the same ones that are always bitching about faceless profiles.
Are we really talking about this? I don’t have a face pic because of ALL the fakes and catfish. If people wasn’t so full of shit. More people would feel comfortable with posting face pics. Some people still believe in privacy.
I feel that faceless people get too caught up into the fact that “someone you know at work is out to get you and will make a fake profile and converse with you in order to, later exploit you” which will “just so happen cause you to lose your job and your life be ruined”. That’s slightly what every male/female goes threw/thinks when coming out so to speak, or exposing yourself to actually represent that aspect of your life. Your gonna have the worst case scenario mind set with that if you continue to roll with it unless you take a chance. Call me crazy but I feel you should do what you want in YOUR life without letting the impact and person opinion of others control it to the point where they are essentially running your life for you… Geeze I’ll stop now I feel alot about this topic.
Anonymous. You have to understand some or most of us want to keep our business to ourself. And it’s also frustrating when you say “hey what’s up” and the guy responds with “pic?” Like seriously?? And my theory is that I can put up anything I want and say it’s me. Claim to be the nicest person in the world. When we meet you realize I’m the stalker from down the road that you got a restraining order for. Come on. Be realistic. If you want to see how the person REALLY looks, either meet them or video chat. You can’t lie about those 2 things. But regardless, respect people’s privacy. And if u don’t like it, move on to the next profile!
In a community with one of its many mantras being “don’t judge me”, we sure are the most judgemental people on the planet. I’ve been summed up by so many guys who thought that they knew everything about the type of person I am because I don’t have a face pic in my profile. Let’s just admit a few truths to ourselves:
– this is a sex site. Luckily most guys get this and, therefore, cock and ass and body shots are sufficient to get the conversation going because THATS WHAT WE’RE AFTER. Stop pretending this site has a higher purpose.
– there is no other place on earth where people seem to thing that is I have a face pic, you must also have a face pic.
– having a face pic emailed to you in NOT an offense to your sense, integrity, patience, etc. if you can’t wait for a pic to be emailed, I don’t want to know you.
-if I unlock my pics for you without being asked, don’t come back with “wow. Hot. But you don’t have a face pic. I do. So I won’t unlock.” You’re a cunt if you do. I call these guys “tit-for-tatters”. Get over yourself.
– the times I have worked on a hold out and finally saw his face pic, I wasn’t stunned. In other words, so few of us are so special that our private pics reveal Brad Pitt. In fact, if you know you are great looking you unlock your cock pics and start with your face pic.
– why doesn’t A4A officially refer to the private pics as our “privates” and change the “unlock” button to “show your privates”. I can’t be the first and only one to think of this
-A4A should just get rid of the public/private nonsense. Make them all public. Problem solved
I won’t respond unless I see a face, but I say so in my profile so there’s no confusion. Not that this works well, as I’m always being hit up by the faceless. Sometimes just replying “face?” gets an unlock, though. I’d only bother if the guy otherwise seems interesting. Blank profile, no face? Nope.
I also clearly say that being on the closet limits us to chat on here. I don’t have a shred of respect for men over 25(tops!) who are in the closet, and they can be quite repressed and dangerous, so there won’t be a meet up.
What always kills me though are the guys who insist you unlock as well, even though my face is public and my locked are nudes. Sorry dude, not the same thing.
Anyone who publishes a face pic publicly is opening themselves up to potential problems. Yes – it’s a new day – but that comes with new risk including use and abuse of a face pic to hurt another. Get a grip boys. There are more reasons then not to keep your face pic private until you feel comfortable with someone.
While I can understand why some people don’t have public face pics posted, for the love of god, upload them as private pics you can unlock for select guys rather than insisting on texting or emailing them when you do decide to share. Also, a pic of you wearing a hat, sunglasses, and with your hand in front of your face does is not a FACE pic, so don’t get all pissy when someone wants another one in which your face is actually unobscured.
I have a locked face pic. Where I live is incredibly vindictive! And yes, I’ve been stalked by one idiot who made numerous profiles.
But my profile gets right to the point. There is a time to chat, and quite another when I want to get down and dirty. If my profile gets your interest, cool. Let’s talk. There will come a point when I’ll choose to unlock. But you need to have a pic too! I do want to know who I’m meeting.
To so many, looks are indicative of ability. If you don’t match my idea of the total stud in bed, then you’re just not capable at all. Fuck that notion! And if Mr Anonymous feels that way (which he probably does), fuck him too.
Do I want a nice looking guy when I hook up? If course, but average looks are fine too. Personality wins the day for me and I’ve had great hookups with guys like that.
I’m in agreement with quite a few on here. My profile pic is my business. If I want you to see it, I’ll unlock. But only in my time frame after we’ve made a connection and had a little talking time.
And if Anonymous doesn’t like that, well he’s perfectly free to go without sex.
Ixam not out but I do have a face pic on my profile. In so doing I have come across 3 former coworkers. On a way it is the beginning for me to come out. If someone doesn’t have a face pic on here I may contact them or I may not. I usually want to see a pic before I hookup with someone. I got burned once when a guy showed up at my front door and I had not seen his face. Ugh.
Tsndesertrat, I know exactly how you feel, we’re in the same boat. I too work in the public sector, emergency services to be exact. These guys only see what’s on the surface so I can’t show my face because for starters, I’m married to a woman who I love very much, she does not know about my sexual orientation. By I however enjoy kissing, rimming and getting a mans cock hard, having him slide itvin my ass, fuck me well and shoot his load in my mouth.
“No face pic” = major whine indicating negative things about the whiner. Grow up. Worry about whether the dude is literate, not about how he looks. At some point if you want to meet him, ask for a pic to be sent privately. Don’t be stupid — this IS the 21st century, you know.
most of you guys are just making excuses to not show what you look like because you’d be turned down if you did
I don’t see what the problem is. I don’t give a “FUCK” who knows I’m gay.
And BTW my face pick does more to get me laid than my cock pick.
I will not contact anyone with a face pick because many gay guys on here are looking for a relationship and I’m a happy mwm on the dl just looking for safe m2m play with the same kind of guy. If you put your face here you and I are not looking for the same thing. I don’t want to disappoint some guy looking for a boyfriend when all I’m looking for is the one thing my relationship lacks:a wife with a dick I can suck. Be aware that this site is used by straight guys like me who love cock too
Not to sound conceited, but according to many others, men and women alike find me very attractive. Had a chance to appear on a calendar through my job, my upper administrators advised me it wouldn’t be a good idea. So it’s not because I’d be turned down that my face pic doesn’t show on my profile. If you want a pic of me, I’ll send it email.
What about guys with profile face pics with their pets ?
@Mike: shut the fuck up, ass wipe. Yes, I have been turned down, blocked and other assorted treats, both here and elsewhere. I’m not rock star but certainly not a dog either. It depends on the platform where my profile is located. Others have considered me very good looking and would love to jump me in a truck sleeper cab. Bet you’ve never had the fortune of guys telling you they’d love to do it in sleeper, have you?
You must be the quite fortune chap to get laid every night. Well some of us have a life. I hope the day comes when others see your piss poor attitude and say no thanks.
So before you start spouting off, mind your own damn business. Thank you.
I do not have a face pic in my profile, but I used to. First, I am not always looking to hook up. Most of the time I log in just to chat nothing more. What has happened to me is that local guys who have seen my face pic would randomly approach me in the street trying to hook up. It has happened more than once.
This is not to say that I am unwilling to send a face pic to a guy I am chatting with. If a guy asks I will gladly send one to him. A couple guys have been absolutely insistent that I post one on the site. To them I say good day.
I am not very interested in what a guy looks like when I’m chatting. My profile is pretty clear what I am looking for. I am a bottom looking for tops to hook up with. All I require is a guy that can get hard enough for penetration.
Until some of the guys on here stop stealing pics and posting as their own and live true and authentic lives without trying to out those of us who wish to have some discretion… some will never post public face pics… some of us have real wifes, family and careers to protect…
My face pic is not public on my profile, nor will it ever be for these reasons:
1. I have a job that is still not gay friendly. Yes, there are still professions like this in the world.
2. Certain companies pay people to surf the net and look for employees on sites like this. If you are discovered, your standing at work can be placed in jeopardy.
3. I’m a single dad of two boys….not interested in jeopardizing my career, which is how I feed my sons, to satisfy your immediate needs for a face pic…or anything else.
4. Not posting one immediately also helps me weed out the vain and superficial.
You can get to know someone a little without seeing their face right away.
I know that I’m an amazing person with friends I’ve known since we were kids. I know that I’m capable of building solid relationships on multiple levels. If you choose to not get to know me because you can’t see my face right away, the loss most assuredly is not mine.
Not sure why I even posted a comment to this “anonymous” person who is not showing their face pic…..lol
Mike your first post I can believe,your latter one you got that right. Trucker Bear chill out dude! I can top that! I’m that type of dude that quite afew moms have wanted me for the daughters before! At clubs and bars where I’ve been surrounded by streams cute young guys(like fri. at S4 when it swarms with cute young dudes). I’ve gone in different styles clubber,sk8r, or trendy tight-fit tshirt w/skinnyjeans I hangout where I can be seen like near the dance floor and I don’t even get a second look! On here,some dude I may think is fine doesn’t even answer me back when just tried to break some ice! I get more looks from chicks! I’m beginning to see the gay world far more prejustice than the str8 one.
It just shows how many pugs are out there using excuses of not having a face pic on here, even if its private. To me looks are everything. I even block those that have just cock pics, why would i want to pick any bugs from you? Those who work or live at those places, MOVE OUT. Its the 2000`s there are better places to live at and to not worry about it.
Oh gurls, stop! Dont get your panties in a twist! Its easy, if someone doesn’t have a face pic, then simply ask them for one. It always makes me think why someone needs a face pic in order to just chat? Or why people block other people if they are not attractive, be a grown up and simply say “im not interested” and leave it at that.
lickme: most likely a Pug
I totally agree with this poster. What’s funny is I answered somebody’s profile on a different site & it turned out to be a friend of mine’s roommate that I had met several times before while @ my friend’s house. It was too awkward of anything other than for us just to chat on-line.
&, for those that say “a dick’s a dick & a hole’s a hole”, let me propose this to you: Would you rather know what a person looks like before meeting up, or would you rather show up & see somebody like your father/brother/uncle waiting for you?
WHOA!!…Southernboi,did you EVER say something to think about!WOW! YYessss!! You’d be surprised just how small the world is! When I used go the GLBY meetings and at attending one those meetings I came across a High School classmate’s little brother along with his boyfriend. He recognized me from his older brother’s yearbook(the dude had still been in middle school in that school year). He was alittle zonked seeing me sitting there among them,though it was flattering to know that he thought me masculine enough that he never suspected me. Uh..I went to one of those small town schools. So you know?
You can’t start a ‘thinkpiece’ with ‘I understand the sensitivity’ and then proceed to complain about said issue. You don’t like chatting with faceless profiles and nobody is forcing you to so you can keep scrolling and find someone with one to chat with. It’s not nearly as dramatic as you make it out to be. You can respectfully ask the guy if he’ll share a face pic and if he will not, keep it moving. No need to obsess bitterly and write ‘Speak Out’ on non issues.