Instagram
Instagram
Handsome man sleeping on his couch

Speak Out : Couch Surfers

Handsome man sleeping on his couch

 

“Couch Surfing” describes a condition that exists in present-day America. It is a condition that reflects on the lives of young adults—male and female—who have come upon hard times and are basically homeless! They are often unemployed or without full-time employment, no health insurance and insufficient income to afford an apartment of their own—even sharing costs with a roommate. Many times they are also without transportation—having lost their vehicle to foreclosure or a wreck that totaled it out. Some of the surfers are gay males.

“Couch surfers” often have lots of friends and acquaintances that provide places where they can stay the night armed with their back packs. However, their friends usually do not have the space to accommodate them with more than a couch to sleep on, and maybe a cup of coffee the following morning. Often this means a surfer must be looking for a different place night after night as they try to improve their situations. Surfers also have difficulty establishing a permanent address for mail delivery.

The fact that young adults have difficulty landing full-time jobs is a reflection on the world today! The chasm that divides prosperity and austerity seems to be getting wider. There are social services in many communities that help individuals and families, but sometimes the single young adult “falls between the cracks” in actually getting assistance.

Are you plugged into helping young adults described in this article?

Do you have any suggestions for ways to help them? If so, please share with the rest of us.

DAVID M in Texas


There are 59 comments

Add yours
  1. einathens

    Why make it sound like a medical condition, or a new phenomenon?

    Once upon a time, having a peripatetic phase was called ‘finding yourself.’ In my day, it was known as Being 23.

    Nowadays it seems to be part of the New Bohemianism school. Something to be expected, looked back upon nostalgically, not as a source of shame.

    My only advice is, if you’re going to let someone crash at your place, establish the ground rules before they arrive, including a firm time of departure.

  2. darryl

    It’s hard to imagine that here in the so called richest country on earth would allow this to happen to all its citizens. Year after year people are having the rug pulled out from under them, and by fault, or no fault of their own, find themselves one step closer to homelessness. Some of our leaders would prefer them to just fend for themselves. What’s happening now is those lame excuse for leadership, are making it harder for people to receive help when you are down on your luck. They penalize by making you feel bad about your situation, or make laws that forces you to wear the scarlet letter P on your chest. Since i’am one Man I try to help where I can, and send my thoughts to our lame leaders, in hope that they will follow the golden rule, they tend to force down our throats, and we all know how bad a taste that is.

  3. Ike

    I’m afraid to say that’s me right now, or better said will be soon.

    I recently dropped out of college and have been staying with my bf, but have come to terms with myself and face my fears. decided to go back home at the other side of the country to come out to my family and be able to restart my life, be able to repay everyone by myself, not being tied by social reputation or peer pressure….but I know that ‘disowned’ is the tip of the iceberg that awaits me.

    I’m afraid I won’t see my bf or his family ever again, and my hometown friends won’t be able to do much for me other than lending me their couch, it’ll be as if I never existed and won’t even have $5 to sustain myself until I find a job. Terrified is the elast I can say about how I feel right now.

  4. Hunter0500

    Well if they look like the well-dressed bearded young guy in the picture, for sure some kind of “arrangement” could be worked out. A “stay for play” kind of thing perhaps.

  5. Rick

    Well, would what else would expect considering that we have an idiot in the White House?
    ___________________________________________________________

  6. einathens

    I gotta stop going back and rereading the original posts. Or maybe just stop myself from commenting a second time.

    There’s quite a bit of judgment tucked in between the sweeping generalizations and hollow outrage in the piece above.

    And what is it about? Are we supposed to feel bad for being young and poor? Or for being middle-aged and financially stable? Should we open our doors to the homeless?

    Yes, the deck is stacked against the disadvantaged. The only way to change that is to do your homework and vote accordingly.

  7. Wayne

    It’s really hard to trust people now days. Add in racism, no civic pride in voting to put people in office to stop this type action. I pretty much am mainly concerned with veterans who have been used, abused and lied to. This generation is full of mean cruel people….

  8. Affected

    Alot of people don’t realize that most gay youth in this position, are often without guidance. The gay community is pretty harsh-harsher than the “straight” world it differentiates itself from.
    In the gay community, which was founded on the backs of outcasted gay youth, fighting for rights, and recognition, has turned into a hierarchy of shaming each other as the community has become more socially acceptable.
    Gay youth are expected to decide what kind of gay they’re going to be, and dedicate to that niche, or another. They’re expected to dress nice, and wear designer, which most can’t afford. They’re expected to be skinny and smooth, which leads to increased meth use amongst gay youth.
    Now you have your cause. A community based on the upper echelon of the community which most youth can’t imitate. So they’re stuck bewteen being the odd one out, or attempt to be like the idols of gay nobility, burning all of their resources all the while.

  9. Jamie

    I have been one of these couch surfers since my car accident in 2008. Does anyone have any suggestions as to anything I can do to rectify this problem?

  10. Michael

    It is not totally “young adults” there are a lot of older ones out there as well. Finding a good job in this country right now is almost impossible.

  11. Brad

    I am one of the adults described in the article above, however without any couches to surf here in Savannah GA. Originally from Cincinnati Ohio I found myself here, alone, homeless after being lied to by a friend promising of a better life and a place to stay in Tampa. When she never showed I found myself needing out of Florida and that is how I found myself here. It is a sad world that we live in. But so is life. Best of luck and prayers to those who are enduring the same.

  12. mustardleftffront

    IVE TRIED HELPING ALL MANNER OF PEOPLE MOSTLY WITH EMPLOYMENT IVE HAD A BAD EXPERIENCE DECIDED THAT I WILL HELP A GROUP OVER AN INDIVIDUAL

  13. Steve

    I agree that there are many young people today in this position and depending on the help of others to get by…On any given day you can see the postings on hook-up sites asking to exchange “favors” for bucks or a place to stay. The bottom line is that many young folks today are not willing to work at jobs or tasks that they see as beneath them even if it means they don’t have a roof over their head.
    I agree we need more programs to train and help those that have these challenges. If their friends are true friends they will help them find the right path to get off the couch.

  14. Dave

    lol Quite the opposite! Our welfare mentality has filtered down to a generation that believes they can play the system to have their needs met,, Mostly due to lousey child rearing of parents, and/or they decided to pursue a career that there are no jobs available…. Definitely a function of leadership, locally, statewide and without a doubt nationally! The progressive wacky left wings in Washington are getting just what they’ve been working for years to create,, a generation that totally depends on government to sustain their needs… housing, food, hell even healthcare and cell phones if you play your cards right..

  15. bflobear

    Is this really a gay specific/interest topic? I realize that economic downturns may affect our and other minorities in greater proportion, but this discussion might be more appropriate for a more general interest form IMO.

  16. Sidd

    “Some couch surfers are gay”. You throw that in to make it a gay thing? This has nothing to do with gay. Nor is it anything new or sign of times. Really scraping for blog topics here.

  17. Jay

    Darryl and others:
    Actually, we are a blessed nation! I don’t know many other countries where one can get unemployment compensation when losing their job. It does have its limits, yes. I try to help those down on their luck but I do set ground rules if allow someone to couch surf at my place. I’ve been ripped off in the past and don’t intend for that to happen again!

  18. darklamp71104

    What exactly does this have to do with A4A? It is not a gay issue when we have programs like Job Corps that helps those seventeen to twenty-five get a professional trade. With no moral judgement, I will say if a grown-up person cannot get theirselves together, then those people who keep taking them in actually contribute to the harm. If a friend happens to fall on hard times, I will help with a couch. I have been there myself and a houseguest who is Trying to get on his feet is no trouble. I will never endure one of these boosed-up, drug-addicted loosers who will spend their days looking for someone to mooch off of rather than look for a job, or go to school, and be able to take advantage of grants that can pay for living expenses. I have been there, too. If I am to be honest, I have vast personal experience here. If you want to really be of help, find out everything about the options that are out there. Maybe one day someone you give the information to might just decide to grow the fuck up.

  19. MistrFistr

    The gay world’s been rife with “couch surfers” for decades, and I’ve had my share. They’re FAR worse these days, and someone who’s a “professional couch surfer” is usually a tweeker/PnPer or a worthless stoner. Avoid. You work hard for you place and stuff, they want it for free, typical addict behavior.

  20. srehturts

    I wouldn’t mind a couch surfer and I wouldn’t mind giving them a lil help, it’s the right thing to do. However when said couch surfer uses his/her charm and worms their way off the couch and into your bed under the pretense of something more… well then I have a problem with that because as soon as a bigger couch or a cuter couch owner comes along, poof! Leaving you knowing that there was really nothing all along. Now there’s nothing wrong with said couch surfer and couch owner warming up the sheets if that’s the deal, but it is completely wrong to take advantage of someone’s emotions for monetary gain! We all know what I’m talking about! Don’t mistake this guy’s kindness for weakness, you’ll wish you hadn’t…

  21. Omegalevel

    This will be my life in about a week or so. The timing of this post is uncanny. I’m trying to put a positive spin on it all though and think of it as an experience to learn from. We’ll see.

  22. My_Honest_Opinion

    I enjoyed this blog/article in the fact that I’m sure that everyone who reads it can somehow relate to it. We all have either been in this position, know of someone who is or has been, or had the inevitable self-talk chat of “I hope I do not find myself in that position.” I know that this original article/blog is NOT about money, but I don’t think you can talk about it without touching base on the handling of one’s money. I DO NOT mean to get preachy with this comment, but with that disclaimer said here goes… there are jobs out there, granted most do not carry that $45,000+ starting salary that many people are craving and seeking, but there are jobs and a “small” income is better than no income at all– remember that. I do not blame “this generation” but the PARENTS of this generation and to an extent today’s schools (high school and college) for not getting young people “ready” for THE REAL WORLD. There are just some things that are tried and true and will never change regardless of when you grew up (60s, 70s, 80s, 90s..). 1. The more you have the more you owe. Nothing is free anymore not even air for tires, deal with it. If you own it somehow, someway, and somewhere down the line it is going to cost you. 2. Start saving money, people, whatever you can. $25 a month, $50 a month, #100 dollars a month, doesn’t matter. Save it and put it somewhere where it can build interest, because everyone has a “rainy day” and you will be glad to have that money in times of need. 3. The majority of Americans are one paycheck away from homelessness and bankruptcy. It is a shame, but that is the reality of it. Learn to budget, and learn the difference between your “needs” [bills getting paid, food, electricity and running water] vs. your “wants” (the newest Adam Lambert cd, shoes to go with the skinny jeans you want to buy for the club, etc.] When you take the steps to keep yourself financially stable you in part help others in that you aren’t bugging and pestering them for money or a place to stay and thus becoming an unexpected burden on them. Everyone has to start somewhere,and wherever you are start today.

  23. Kuruption

    Nah. I think folk are really missing what he’s saying. People who are down on their luck and need a helping hand is one thing. What I’m getting from this is an entire culture of people who are busy going from place to place with no plan for doing or being on their own. Instead, they want others to take care of them.

    Case in point…

    I know a 22 year old who is staying with 2 friends of mine. They are frustrated with him because dude had no ID, SS card, Birth certificate and receives food stamps. They worked with him to get his ID straight so he can get a job. However, his focus is running the streets to fuck whom he can and smoke weed. These kats have given him the wherewithal to succeed and have provided him with role-models to emulate. Yet, all he wants is to be less than mediocre. Hell, one of them even thinks he’s out tryin’ to find the next dude he can move in with.

    I’m with the OP (original poster for those who do not know). It’s one thing to be down on your luck but when you’re not actively working to make your life better then that’s something else entirely. I will say this, however, if these same couch surfers had their own crib and were in the position to help another, my money is they wouldn’t just because they’re so into themselves and what they can get from people.

    Too often these young dudes figure if they’re cute, have a nice ass or big dick folk will flock to take care of them. Either they will pull it together or they will be the ones we pass on the streets beggin’ for change. Just sayin’…

  24. Richard

    I agree with Einathens. A lot of those “down on their luck” cases have brought this situation onto themselves. I’m going to say a word that, in many social circles, would be considered foul language. It’s called Personal Responsibility. Everyone has the same opportunity to benefit from twelve years of free education and during that time SOMEthing should spark an interest. But if you think someone is going to provide everything for you then you are kidding yourself. I don’t mind helping out, just not cradle to grave.

  25. angel_lover

    I’m a couch surfer. It’s not exactly easy. Sometimes I have to move between so cities to find a place. Food is harder. I’ll admit I had to hoe myself out for money for food and drink. It’s not easy and if ur out there helping people like me I thank you. Yes I have a phone thank god my ex didn’t turn it off.

  26. Ian

    I have a friend who swears by helping could surfers. I myself have never opened my home to someone, but would consider it.

  27. Paul

    Many people are making it just fine. There are just too many lazy people there thinking they’re too good to do “that” kind of work. With friends to let you crash on a couch, food stamps, subsidized health care and the likes, it’s time for a reality check for these surfers; roll up your sleeves; no job is beneath you when you need work.
    It’s also financial priorities… same people crashing in mommies basement or friends sofa are not willing to skip eating out, drive an older car, wear second hand clothes, reduce the # of nights they party and drink, etc… you get the picture. Quit blaming others and take responsibility. No more gold stars just for showing up. Time to put some priorities in to place, work hard, hustle, and you’ll find your way.

  28. stephen

    In some cases, this situation is not the persons fault and is hopefully temporary…BUT when you have some states/areas and groups of people demanding that a min wage/low skill job pays them $15/hr I don’t see any other outcome other than more people becoming unemployed or unemployable.

    At one time, doing nothing or not working or receiving some kind of assistance/welfare was kept quiet or even embarrassing to people and over time-more and more are doing nothing and don’t want to do anything.

    If a person isn’t employed/is living back home with relatives or whatever…I’d take the time to assess my skills or even train/obtain new skillsets to assist in being marketable.

    The government cannot suddenly create jobs for everyone, the government AND the taxpayers cannot support everyone either so I don’t have the answer. It is easy to get depressed during this time, but doing nothing-playing video games all day long or partying with your friends isn’t the solution.

    A min wage/entry-level job is never going to pay enough to keep your rent covered-health insurance-car insurance-car payment-phone-cable-internet and more…and it wasn’t supposed to…it’s entry level/a start to moving up the ladder with more experience/skills. In case you haven’t noticed, it’s not cheap to live and pay all your bills.

    In some cases, a person gets a roomie and between the two of you maybe you can live ok…in other cases you have more than a single roomie all sharing a place. The economy has went to the crapper and has went up and down, some areas haven’t even recovered fully. The way I have always lived and conducted myself was, that if I want to eat and do things-have things in life it is up to ME and no one else.

  29. Top4BottomPDX

    I have found myself helping these folks before to nearly lose my own place of living and in my case they have been less than grateful and caused me more harm than good one of them even threatened to kill me so I will never do it again and be of help and support to the best of my ability outside a place to stay and yes I agree that the very people that say there is help for those in need are letting those people down these days in the U.S.

  30. Richard

    I know a guy like that. He goes from one person to the other for a place to stay. He stayed with me last august for 2 weeks. He wouldn’t help me such as cleaning or anything. Well one nite he took a little walk at 10:30. He didn’t tell me where he was going. The next I heard was at 4:30 am. He called me but I heard the police arresting him. The police officer grabbed his phone and turned it off. At 6 am he called me begging for help. Turns out the sob was using my home for a hideaway. He has alot of charges and has been in prison. So will I help anyone again after that mess? I doubt it. Guys take care of yourself. Just because they have a pretty face and body they can be damn ugly on the inside. I tried to help him and look what happened. Remember it always always comes back to you. What you do to people it’ll come up one day when you least expect it and bite you on the ass.

  31. Aaron

    I think couch surfing is when you’re traveling and want to avoid the cost of a hotel so you see if anyone has a couch you can crash on for the time you’re there. What you’re describing just sounds like people who are living the gypsy nomad life. Some are exploring the world. Some are just not correctly motivated to get jobs and stuff. I agree that whatever it is, establishing a clear set of rules and departure is essential.

  32. Nekked

    I had a couch surfer for more than a year. All that time he did nothing to better his situation. He actually ended up worse off than before the opportunity was given him. We charged him nothing to stay with us. No rent or moneynfor food. He’s bi so every now and then he’d want some man sex but he put all his attentions in ringing in new girl friends from which he could use as a sugar mama. None lasted for long. I had to eventually ask him to leave. It had gotten to the stage we felt selfishly used. One other friend asked to live in my basement for a bit. I had to tell him no. The whole thing has tainted my willingess to help out.

  33. Walter

    Couch surfers = lazy.. point blank simple.. you’re not entitled to going through being lazy, sitting on your ass, doing nothing. If you spent the same amount of time you spend on here looking for some ass and/or dick, maybe you would have a job or career… I speaking from personal experience and as a person who does interviews you not entitle to make a large amount of money just cause you cute with a nice body.. experience and college education gets you that high paying job that you want. I should know, I’m 38 yrs old and a partner at my law firm, with my own house thats paid for and a nice car.. my priorities came first than came fun…

  34. baci444

    The resulting poverty and urban decay fostered by the progressive socialist movement has spread beyond the inner city. Cities like Baltimore and Detroit have been Democrat run for decades and are far worse off now than before and for some reason these incompetent leaders still get away with blaming others for their own demise. As progressive socialism policy spreads it continues to infect new communities and segments of the population all while those touting this platform continue to add to their personal wealth and position.
    The country has lost its sense of work ethic, personal freedom and personal accountability as it buys into the lure of big government putting its arm around you in the name of income equality, a higher minimum wage, healthcare entitlements and other poisonous entitlement-based platforms of deception.
    Fix this first.

  35. Tim

    Couch surfer as you call it isn’t a new phenomena. I grew up in a family with parents and four kids and we almost always had a grandparent or uncle or nephew living with us. It seems as families scatter or fragment society as a whole relies more upon friends as a safety net.

  36. z

    I help couch surfers, it is an organization that has been around for decades born out of Europe for travelers to stay for free or by way of their shared skills.

    You are not referring to that couch surfing organization though, you are referring to those that are homeless calling it couch surfing is a privilege because those that do it still are young and attractive and can find people willing to put them up. This is why the older street sleeping homeless urchins hold signs saying “sorry I’m not young and attractive please help”.

    I have known LGBT that failed so many couches they did in fact end up ugly on the streets. Young people these days were spoiled by materialism and social economic standards that have been brain washed into them via their parents and media (which also means pop music all of which sing some form of gimmie gimmie!? in every song if not the least about relationship drama, after all who needs self responsibility music) and doubled upon by recession and supposed hopelessness for future.

    I am plagued only because I feel sorry for them with aspirations of hope of efficacy. After a decade of teaching and tutoring in public school system moving from K up to HS I graduated to my career goals, but missed youth and so discovered this network of “couch surfers” and hosted so far 4 LGBT young adult (homeless/surfers that can’t go back to home because home it is bad or because they are gay etc) for months at a time mentoring them on life skills. 2 failed but 2 were highly successfully and one I adopted like a Michael Oher (that unfortunately is not into/able for sports but does DJ and dance instead -needs contracts! anyone?).

    It all depends upon their upbringing how extreme (emotionally/mentally) their needs are, how far gone into damage of drugs they are or not and how intelligible they are to be able to overcome societies disparities and operands with determination and work ethic. Even the first one that failed later came back to me said sorry for his abuse of my generosity and told me thank you for my mentoring. I’m glad he eventually became self responsible and independent -if only he was taught these social demands instead of social exploits growing up life could have been easier for him.

    There is also the result of “couch surfers” that were your a4a sexual hookup… That’s another thing I suggest asking for and meeting only people within your age group and skill set. Why are you hooking up with a potential despondent in the first place? Need something quick or need some self reflection, change, self respect, escape from loneliness? This escape can be found in much more constructive means for such sufferers: discover a new hobby, try public meetup website instead, seek friends not fucks. Admit that sex drives you and take self control of your life and business, soaring to new heights.

    -luck, prosperity, longevity, happiness and peace.

  37. robert

    Some people are lazy and take advantage. Some make do for themselves. Only that person knows which group they fall in…On one hand, we want to help but have trouble recognizing when we are helping and when we are actually enabling…

  38. RithmR

    It’s a cheap way to travel yo. It’s real scary but totally awesome. I make over 25$/hr and still use couch sufer yo. It’s something us young generation do the older generation like the teens of the 60s and 70s don’t get it. Be adventurous!!

  39. Ben

    This is a more niche use of the term “couch surfer.” Generally it refers more directly to someone trying to travel cheaply who uses the Internet to find people whose couches they can sleep on in exchange for helping out in some way.

    There are people who sleep on friends’ couches regularly, but it’s usually not so dire as this except perhaps in places where rent is atrocious like New York City or San Francisco.

  40. Chip

    OK, so as the father of 9 (yes, NINE) children, I have perhaps a different perspective than many others.

    First, there are 2 kinds of “couch surfers” (in a broad sense):

    Type A have fallen on difficult times and simply need a leg-up to get themselves situated again. They wake up in the morning and TRY to better themselves – either by trying to find work, trying to get back into school, or something else. But they do NOT spend all day pouting and feeling sorry for themselves, nor do they spend all day playing video games or otherwise being totally unproductive (with said productivity focusing on getting themselves back on their own 2-feet). They show appreciation for the help you provide, and try to contribute to the “household” by cleaning, cooking, or other means. Also, they ask before taking anything.

    Type B are scum-sucking worms who will take you for everything you are eventually finagled into giving. They will sleep on your sofa (or floor), but complain in the morning that they didn’t sleep well. They will accept, and then complain about your coffee (it’s not their kind). Before you shoo them out, they’ll ask for money for cigarettes, and want to know when they can come back (that is, if you don’t just let them stay all day at your place). Later, you will find that they had the munchies overnight and ate $40 worth of food out of your refrigerator, drank all your beer, and purchased $200 worth of porn on your cable account… all of which they will deride as being “cheap” or “crap”.

    I am more than willing to help Type A individuals… sometimes even helping them write & print resumes, and occasionally even employing them myself.

    Type B individuals need to be trapped and taken to “animal control” as soon as they are recognized. (I have dropped a few of these off at a homeless shelter – no guilt at all!).

    The problem, as I see it, is that Type A individuals can sometimes become disheartened at their circumstances and turn INTO Type B individuals. In that case, you need to intervene and simply set ground rules — like: you can stay so long as you’re trying EVERY DAY to get a job or raise money in some way.

    Another issue, as I see it, is that some of these kids seem to think that updating their facebook, or tweeting that they are looking for a job is ALL they need to do to get a new job. And the MOST INFURIATING thing is when they’ve been unemployed for 3 months and you personally get them a job offer — which they turn down because it would be inconvenient, or because its not inline with their CAREER goals.

    What ye sow, so shall ye reap! (aka: if you put no effort into yourself, no one will be able to get anything out of you either!)

  41. Michael

    WOW! I never thought of myself as a “couch surfer,” but I fit the definition described in the article. I lost a really good job, making around $70K, several years ago and have been unable to recover.

    In addition, I lost my house and car. If you can’t make the payments, the banks will foreclose and reposses on you!

    The road to recovery for me has been excruciatingly slow. I have a part-time job now and was able to purchase a dependable used car. However, the foreclosure and the repossession ruined my credit. So, the interest rate is outrageously high, but I don’t have a choice at this point.

    I am living with a good friend, rent free, but I volunteer for as many chores around the house as possible to “earn my keep.” I am responsible for my own food.

    There are food ministries around town that provide one hot meal a day and some that provide free food for you to cook yourself. Basically, this food is the expired, about to expire and/or won’t sell food the grocery stores donate to clear out their inventories. At this point, I am very thankful to get it.

    I am frequently on the job websites looking for full-time employment. BTW, I have an MBA degree and more than nine years of experience in my chosen career path.

    I am getting interviews, but no offers. I have heard all kinds of reasons as to why I was not chosen; “need more recent experience,” “over qualified,” “need to more closely meet our requirements.”

    It gets difficult at times and I try not to think too much about my situation. I just keep pressing forward thinking I will find a break along the way.

  42. Mj

    Couch surfers are cool,,I meet a few and rented em my couch. Its cool how they can travel around freely,,wish it was me,,, :>(

  43. Michael

    Sorry, I am not buying it. I moved out of my parents home at 17 and worked two and three jobs to pay the bills and party like a porn star. Did I have a lot of help along the way? Yes, but a stubborn refusal to let people get too close and a fairly strong work ethic kept me independent.

    Do I have friends that live this way? Yes, and in many ways I am envious. It’s just not for me though. I need a place to retreat from the world when I need to.

    This is mostly a personal life choice. If you want to pay your bills and not sleep on your friends couches, then you get a job. If one is not enough then you get two.

  44. stephen

    Yes Iam one of you also.iam helping out someone.he is stayinging for free.I gave hime the bedroom and iam on the couch.iam trying to show hime the right path.but he is just a user.I help him get out of jail and I payed 2.000.00 for his.bail.what shod I. Do?

  45. Tim

    http://www.generationme.org/

    The above link helps explain how and why the current generation developed this attitude.

    As an educator, a college professor, I am always impressed by the drive and highly developed skills that the vast majority of 20-something’s have. However, there is a strong sense of entitlement and unrealistic expectation of a distinct subgroup of young people. As an academic, I find that people who make strong statements about members of a generation or large groupings of people are usually wrong in their conclusions. The work of scholars studying this phenomenon has just begun. Hundreds, if not thousands of variables influence this mentality.

    Have a good day!

  46. Chris

    Many friends are in this position and have been in this position for years. I know two gay men that were living in a car together (they were bfs) because they had nowhere to live. They did apply for housing and were told the waiting list to get any public housing was at least 2 years. In fact, my city even has waiting lists TO GET ON THE WAITING LIST for public housing! It’s that bad. By the way, it’s not PC to use the word homeless – many people find it rude. Some people take home to mean more than a building… The more accepted title is “houseless” or simply “travelers..”

    These two individuals ended up without the car when they were caught sleeping in the car on the side of the road, which is apparently illegal. The car was impounded by a 23 year old insane rookie cop and they couldn’t afford the impound fees or the towing fees to get the car out. Even the judge on the case asked the cop why he impounded the car and his answer was, “it’s my discretion…”

    So, I allowed them to live with me for several years. By the way, I don’t want to hear they were lazy, should have gotten a job, etc. Both had previous felony convictions for marijuana (that’s it!) and as soon as they checked the felony box on job applications, their application was placed in the round file. Eventually, after 2 years they were finally able to get public housing in a different state where the waiting list wasn’t so long. Fortunately, they waived the felony disqualification for them (YES, you can be disqualified from public housing for a felony 10 years old that was marijuana)… but they waived the disqualification thank god and they are now housed.

  47. Ballin

    How you vote has a big effect on the economy. Don’t vote with your dick, and you won’t have dead beats on your couch. Even the dumbest surfer can find some sort of job in a good economy.

  48. Greg

    I worked for years in public school adult education programs, helping immigrant students learn English and civics. I was laid off in 2012, and it has been very hard to find steady teaching work since then. I have grown very cynical about elected officials who say that the nation needs workers trained for twenty-first-century jobs when those very same elected officials did nothing while adult schools were closed, teachers were laid off, and students were left with no classes. I don’t know what has happened to the Democratic Party, which seemingly has forgotten its core constituency, and I don’t know what has happened to this nation, where both younger and older workers are frozen out of the job market.

  49. PATRICK in Los Angeles

    i have been in the position of needing this same kind of help, and i have always been grateful.

    Now, at 49, i have my own place yet feel homeless sometimes because it’s not a home…lol. I am laughing at the walls i have built up around myself and realize that anybody who needed a place to stay would be helping me as much as i would be helping them…

    It’s all about helping each other!….that’s a quote but i can’t remember who said it.

  50. DEXX

    My experience with helping couch surfers has been dismal at best. I have helped at least 5 and it all comes down to the same thing, I was just an enabler.Sex was not my primary interest with 4 out of 5. Each and every one showed me their true colors and they all left only when I insisted they get out.Time teaches lessons that you need to pay attention to and react before it sucks the life out of you.

  51. Ryan says, "Don't stop moving forward."

    Helpful info can be utilized through: Job Corps (www.jobcorps.gov), a vocational education program of The United States Government, with about 125 location centers in The US with at least one in each state.

    The following notes are taken, verbatim, from a Wikipedia site:

    [Each] person is eligible for Job Corps if he or she meets the following criteria:[7]
    ◾Is a legal U.S. resident; lawfully admitted permanent resident alien, refugee, asylee, or parolee, or other immigrant who has been authorized by the U.S. attorney general to work in the United States; or resident of a U.S. territory.
    ◾Meets low-income criteria.
    ◾Is in need of additional technical training, education, counseling, or related assistance to complete schoolwork or to find and keep a job.
    ◾Has signed consent from a parent or guardian if he or she is a minor.
    ◾Has a child care plan if he or she is the parent of a dependent child.
    ◾Does not exhibit behavioral problems that could keep him, her, or others from experiencing Job Corps’ full benefits.
    ◾Does not require any face-to-face court or institutional supervision or court-imposed fines while enrolled in Job Corps.
    ◾Does not use drugs illegally

    [This line ends the verbatim from a Wikipedia site.]

    The US Department of Labor administers Job Corps. The program, itself, began in 1964 as is noted with a Wikipedia site.

    Also interesting to share on this–with by no means any less importance–I’ve viewed one recent television ad by this program that housing may also be available and thus appointed. This ad described of the program’s participants as perhaps even qualifying for three full meals per day.

    So for anyone you know, including yourself, someone out there has your best interests in mind, and you can take that to heart!

    Hard work, time, and effort will reap its rewards in the end. When it seems as if no one’s in your corner, then just imagine that someone has been there before.

    For those who feel that they may not qualify by the program’s standard of the specific, “behavioral [problems and others of mental, mood, or developmental]”–do not take doubt. Please, check your community’s government for direction to the US Social Security office branch or how to get in touch with them. Otherwise, visit the US site of http://www.socialsecurity.gov.

  52. HUZBAND9MATERIAL

    I have had friends doing this since my first apartment when I was 18. Still going on now at 56. Just doing what I was raised to, help if I can. And I’ve made a lot of great friendships.

  53. Sentient soul searching

    I am but one of many, so well say a statistic in this community, who has been a victim for lack of a better term, of peer misguidance, also I have dealt with establishments such as hospitals, medical clinics, other professional or general welfare establishments that either pretend to be doing their jobs, assistance that never happened, false pretenses, harsh judgements, mistreatment, and many other accounts of abuse. In the homeless dynamic many a times we only find shelter or help with the price of our bodies. Most often at times to people who don’t respect them or us in general. A plethora of times when in the face of struggle a negligent head will turn and simply ignore our desolation, destitute and vulnerable crys for help. Our community needs more unity in the communal sense. We allow ourselves and our brothers and sisters be obje ctified and subjected to abuse by others, by allowing ourselves and others abuse each other. When the value for unity in the lgbtq community is prioritized and we help our own , protect our own. And lift up our own we can change the negative stigma associated with this community.


Post a new comment

Like us to stay in touch with latests posts!