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Great Depression Newark 1935

Gay Stuff : “Front of the line”…Really?

So many times I read in a guy’s online profile the statement about how a particular type of guy they’d like to hook up with can go to the “front of the line”. Seriously?  These guys have lines?  This has me thinking about such men and how they portray themselves either unwittingly or on purpose. Then of course I start to consider myself, because as a red-blooded American gay man, it’s all about me, right?

The first thought that jumps into my head is: Who would want to get together with someone that actually has a “line” of men?  I mean, consider it: yes, men are pigs (yours truly included), but how many men really want to wallow with someone that appears to constantly be ankle-deep in the sloppy sex muck of a man-pigsty? (Even if ones ankles are in mid-air.).  It seems to me the majority of men online really are looking for one person that will give him his undivided attention for an hour at least.  There must be something more than just the opportunity to have sex with yet another man that can’t make some sort of emotional connection. Isn’t there?  (Never mind…that’s a different rant.)  I find it difficult to perform when the other guy has an eye on the clock possibly waiting for his next encounter. Or worse…when you can hear the telltale sound announcing that he has a new message from the same online site you met coming from the other room. You can just tell he’s itching to go find out who sent it. Talk about pressure! 

How do these lines form? Are men quietly waiting their turn at his front door?  It sounds like it to me. I would be worried that if there was a line, and someone had the “qualification” and jumped to the front, would there be an argument about it? Wouldn’t the neighbors complain about the noise?  I can see it now…

“Hey! I was here first!”

“I can jump to the front of the line. He said ‘uncut to the front of the line’.”

“Prove it!” (Pause) “Oh. Yeah, you’re right. My bad.  I’ll wait.”

I think I’d be afraid that they would decide they like each other and leave arm in arm.

Okay, back to me and some form of reality.  Am I jealous that some men have lines and I don’t?  I must admit, it is a possibility. I can imagine somewhere in the distant past of online profiles that some really hot, buff, muscular guy that had a pumped-up ego to match his physic and could be extremely picky said it and it got copied by another guy, and then another, and so on.  But have you noticed who uses that phrase now?  Think of a paper of some sort that has been copied so many times because the original master copy was used by some selfish idiot at the office.  It’s blurred. The writing is almost illegible. I look at some of the pics on the profiles that specify “front of the line” and to me these men look…okay I’ll say it…average!  How can the guys that look so average manage to get a line to form?  Or even seem to know that they can have a line?  Should I ask them their secret?  I mean, come on!  I’m about as average as you can get! Maybe the truth is that deep down, I want a line of my own.  But again reality kicks in and I ask myself: What if I gave a line and nobody came?  Naturally I mean this in both senses of the definition.

David Beck

 


There are 83 comments

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  1. Hunter

    “front of the line” is only the flip side of the many lines guys draw in profiles. “No one under (a certain age)”, “no one over (a certain age)”, “I’m (something, a swimmer’s build, take care of myself, etc.) You be too,” “only smooth guys”, etc. It’s stupid not to chat with any guy that has SOME kind of picture (preferably not of his cock or his hole), has SOME kind of text, and lists his city. Beyond that, it’s a matter of chatting to see if he plays safe, is clean, can put sentences together, and isn’t looking for a “daddy”. All kinds of excellent men are under (a certain age), over (a certain age), and come in all kinds of body types with or without hair. Throwing up restrictions means you can expect your profile to be skipped and should just plan on growing old and lonely with only your hand or a Fleshlight as a partner.

  2. Ken

    I completely agree with you. This was a great blog and something I definitely find myself thinking about all the time. Hookup sites are filled with so many superficial people who are so full of themselves, it makes me sick. You might be good looking but your nasty attitude makes you ugly and makes me go limp.

  3. Starbucks

    Anybody who says “FRONT OF THE LINE” are five star PIGS and imbeciles. How much dick can you take in this LIFETIME? I am 35 years old but SEX is not the only world i revolve in.

    Sorry, you are ALL entitled to your own opinion too!

  4. monarchy79

    Hunter put it best with his post above and I couldn’t agree with it more. What cracks me up even more is the utter arroagance and audacity that these guys have to actually think that they are that much of God’s digt to be so picky that people are actually waiting to be with them. Whenever I see this garbage, I wonder if these guys were so incredibly hot that they can be so picky, then why are they online all night trolling sites? If you’re all of “that” you can justbe in the grocery store, gym, and out and about and men will flock to you. Another of the many cases of self-loathing, delusional men with unrealistic standards.

  5. monarchy79

    And one more thing… most of the guys who have the standards of what’s required to be in the front of the line don’t even meet them themselves!!!!!! So you’re fat, short, 50+ with a 2 inch penis, and you demand a muscular, tall, 30 and under with a 10 inch penis to be in the front of your “line”…. PLEASE… there is NO LINE LOL!!!

  6. Countryboy1976

    Fantastic topic and a great read! I wish the line-formers knew how to spell correctly and utilize grammar in the proper sense. I understand I’m not looking to bottom for a dictionary, but at least make an effort to sound somewhat educated before you form any lines for your less-than appealing narcissistic self-loathing attitude.

    In closing, if I won’t tolerate standing in a line for a Black Friday sale, I damn sure won’t stand in line for any dick.

    Happy Thanksgiving and safe travels to you all!

    Countryboy1976

  7. erick

    I find that those that put sentences like ”front of the line” if you look a particular way or have that extra that they want, they in fact ”dont have a line of men waiting for to pick from”I used to have a room mate who he was very picky yet very lonely as no body would want to hang out with him..and often then what not i would find him having /begging for sex with the ugly ones…so yeah!!

  8. oldstoner

    I agree with Ken 100%. I never took ‘front of the line’ as an admission of pigdom, just arrogance. These self-centered queens think that highly of themselves that people should line up to get a shot at them?? A lot of these ‘front of the line’ types are also the same ones that have been the same age for 10 years and using the same pictures. Unfortunately, these kinds come to the forefront of attention and thank God it’s not the case for most of the folks.

    I’m dating myself, but cruising for dick used to be a lot more fun before the internet chats, boards, etc. Yeah, there were the “look at me, I’m hot” types in the bars, but they usually were the brunt of many jokes.

  9. zaq

    Ken, I completely agree with u. Most people with comments like “front of the line” or have a litany of physical expectations and/or restrictions wouldn’t even date themselves. People could learn a lot from KISS (Keep It Simple Stupid) and not turn away potential friends or hook ups. If they have a “line” then what the hell are they doing online searching for sex?

  10. CABRON

    I think you are reading into it way too much. “Front of the line” is only a nice way to say, “This is what I prefer” or “This is what turns me on”. It’s a way nicer way of saying, “I prefer black men only” or “I prefer latino men only” or stating your preference in general. Most of the time, you should want the guy u have no interest in to skip your profile. Granted, this IS a hookup site, but we all have preferences, don’t we? Well, I know I do…

  11. rj2097

    I think this article is funny when you speak to the phrase in question literally. But come on. It’s just a figure of speech. it’s only natural that, in an ocean full of fish, one aims for their target be it wider or narrower. But I agree that it is very bad for profiles to list what you don’t like. That gives it a negative and unattractive appearance. instead list the things you like guys.

  12. Daniel

    It all sucks sometimes. LOL. I hate it when a guy messages me and then starts asking his list of 50 questions to which I must answer the correct answer or be cut off as soon as I miss one. Like a bad game show. One time a guy asked me if I had a masculine voice. The fact that I am often confused with Bea Arthur on the phone has got to mean I have a masculine voice, right. I mean, like who the hell else has a masculine voice if Bea Arthur didn’t. So when I called him he hung up on me and immediately sent me another message. “You wimp! You fucking sound like Bea Arthur!” (Rest in peace, Bea. We still love ya!.)

  13. KissableKakes

    I agree with you Dave. Its sickening how some guys have shallow requirements…even if you say “hey”, you might get turned away. It scares me how vain the gay community is getting. I fear I may not find a life partner one day because it seems like most people just want sex. But then again, it is a hookup site.

  14. hayjude

    Guys. This is all nice and Idealistic, but let’s be real here… If we were to be really honest with ourselves. We want what we can’t have or what we THINK we can’t have… If we feel like there’s a guy that everyone wants, we might deny it, but secretly we want him.

    So the idea of a LINE might just be someone trying to make themselves seem more appealing. Or maybe there is actually “A LINE”…. meaning the line of people who want you… it’s an ENDLESS CYCLE… you’re on a line chasing some guy who don’t want you while there are four perfectly nice, smart, attractive, perfectly suitable guys who are lining up to chase you, but for some reason you don’t want them… and they’ve probably got people chasing them too.. It’s quite comical. In a very tragic kinda way….

    My best friend once told me we like guys who treat us like shit… is there truth in that? possibly…. If a guy’s perfect, he’s funny, very nice, and he gives you all the time and attention… why do we suddenly start asking ourselves “What’s wrong with him?”

    At the end of the day, we’re all looking for something “PRECIOUS”… it’s just that some of us are really awful at communicating, and some of us have the emotional maturity of a peanut.

  15. Manluva

    Come on, be real! This expression doesn’t indicate that the poster has a line…. it’s just a way of saying “This type of guy really turns me on!” We all have a certain “type” that immediately gets our hormones flaring and it’s different for everyone… why not let it be known? I don’t think the intent of this expression is as shallow as you might think. Lighten up, Dude. I’ve heard the expression “blah, blah, blah, to the head of the line”, used in situations besides ads for sex. When someone says, “Woof!”, he’s not asking to be walked, he’s just saying “Wow! You are a turn on!”

  16. never commnt...

    I am a large man. I look at these “Front of the Line” and “no one under/over..” phrases and i am automatically turned off (or rather discouraged). mainly because I don’t beleive i fit anyone’s mold.
    I remember messaging one guy who has “preferences” listed and he responded that i didn’t fit them. I simply said that “for a simple chat, none of that should matter.” Shrug, no one wants to take the chance of getting to know an incredible person. Their loss.

  17. Newborn 30

    What’s ironic to me is that I can bet that most of the comments I’m reading from guys who dislike the “front of the line” phrase in a profile are the very guys who may have other silly things in theirs such as “sorry, that’s just my preference”, into White/Asian/Latin ONLY or “looking for fun” (if you have to LOOK for fun, then you’re already 2 steps behind. Including another person whose also “looking for fun” only means you’ll both end up bored again after 30 mins).

    Really guys? We’re a little over a month away from 2013 and the gay community hasn’t changed very much. Sad.

  18. lee

    It’s sad how we gay men act like this….
    You said it best though, men are pigs.
    If you have a line of men, chances are I wouldn’t be interested anyway.

  19. Star_Prince

    Ugh! Seriously? I think people that write “front of the line” are pathetic, ridiculous! Come on? Really? They must be so dirty if they have so many encounters waiting for them. Simply CLASSLESS and TRASHY! Yes! I understand we have preferences… Im more picky with age. As a 24 yr old, i obviously wouldnt date anyone over 30 or under 18. Obviously as I age the age group will change. So that doesnt make me shallow at all. But statements that say! Only masc, smooth, young, hung, etc. To me thats shallow and CLASSLESS!

  20. Dan

    If they have a line I won’t be in it lol…I don’t do lines…seriously if u have to say “to the front of the line”, then you don’t have time to be online…and no one person is ALL THAT to even utter that phrase!

  21. Fattybumbalatty

    What I love is the guys who act in their profiles like they want and are looking for friends. Then, at the end of the profile it says, “Fit and athletic to the front of the line,” or “good-looking…u b 2.” WHAT!!! All your friends have to be hot because you believe you are? Heaven forbid you gave a friend with whom you might not want to have sex!!

  22. Jay

    While I understand the sensitivity to stating ones preferences, I find those who ignore them entirely equally annoying. I’m 50 and have no interest in guys younger than 40..maybe 35 yet I often have to endure some 25 year old that is seeking a “Daddy”, persistantly wanting to mold me into the man of his fantasy. It doesn’t mean I think I’m better than him, it’s simply my preference.

  23. JerseySam

    All this foaming at the mouth over a simple phrase? Really guys, lighten up! Redheads make me weak in the knees, but I don’t think I would direct them to the front of an imaginary line. It’s just shorthand for “this is a preference of mine” or “you really make me cream.” Much ado about nothing. Now be sure the turkey is properly thawed and remember to safely remove the stuffing after it’s fully cooked. Enjoy!

  24. Greg

    No offense, but sounds like sour grapes to me. I think all the guys that are saying how offensive they find that phrase, are most likely the ones that never get invited to be in the line in the first place. Seriously though, I think most of the time when someone uses it, they are just meaning that someone with that particular attribute is more likely to get a response or pique their interest, so they call it out in hopes that a guy with that distinction will respond. And really, I don’t see anything wrong with listing what you are looking for in a profile. Everyone has their preferences, and your are far more likely to get what you are looking for if you describe. I don’t find overweight or older /older looking guys attractive. That’s in my profile so guys that fit those categories know that messaging me for sex is a waste of their time. Whats wrong with saying what you want and don’t want?

  25. Sci

    Anyone you have to step to the front of a line for is probably not worth it to begin with. Another thing that gets me, know the difference between Preference and Attraction.

  26. dexter

    Really Star Prince??? Why would you “obviously not date anyone over 30”? Afraid they’ll see just how shallow and immature you are?? Probably..no wonder people lie about their age. Good luck to you when you hit the ancient age of 30 and become invisible and desireable.

  27. David Dale

    If we limit ourselves to the “No this, No that” how are we to be the proud group wr espouse to bevome. Holding our heads held high in this world already filled with rules & regulations is tough enough. As I get older my choices are more encompassing rather than singleing out soe

  28. TaterTot

    If you are using ‘front of the line’ for what you prefer, then just use ‘I prefer’. It’s so much easier and makes me believe you don’t have a line of guys waiting for you, because chances are, you don’t.

  29. Mark

    You’re taking that phrase way too literally. When I say something like “stocky men to the front of the line,” it just means I have a strong preference for stocky guys…it’s kinda similar to if I said “extra points for being stocky.” I definitely don’t have a line of guys waiting at my cyber door to come mess around (kinda wish I did, though!). Also, I can’t speak for anyone else, but when I say preference, I actually mean preference…I have my preferred types, but I’m open to anyone as long as there’s attraction and chemistry.

    I do agree with others that it’s sad how strict people are with labels

  30. Tuscaloosa

    I love this post. I have wondered this very same thing so many times! Sometimes people say things without considering the implications of their statements. David this is brilliant. Thank you!

  31. Phine50

    I assume that “step to the front of the line”, and so many of the other cliches guys use over and over in their ads are indicative of what they’ve been encountering. Such as “I have my own, you do too” or “I’m not here to take care of you” are guys who’ve met up with moochers. On the flip side, “I’m not mobile” indicates they want somebody with a car who will drive them around. “I’m not paying for sex” is obvious, usually older less attractive guys who’ve been propositioned by hustlers. Personally, I don’t see a need to be so specific about who and what I want or don’t want. If I get a hit from someone I’m not interested in I can nicely tell them no thank you. Besides, ther nothing wrong with a chat. Responding to an ad doesn’t mean we’re fucking. There’s no committment, no obligations here. We’re talking through ads in cyber space. If you’re not interested then move the fuck on.

  32. Mannois

    Just because there might be a line, doesn’t mean they’re going to hookup with all of them. Hence, “front of the line” is a means of filtering. As for the whole “superficial” claim, the fact is — like it or not — that *everyone* has preferences. I don’t get offended when 20 year olds say they want someone around their age. I just move on when I read that. It’s no different from a top who only wants to meet a bottom. Say what you’re looking for. Personally, I believe the ones who have *no* description of what they’re looking for are the pigs. And those of us who *say* that they don’t have preferences are the liars. Between the pigs and the liars, I’ll take a pig any day of the week.

  33. BearOKC69

    I have to respectfully disagree. This IS a sex hookup site. Plain & Simple. It has been my experience that most guys and esp gay guys are slutty promiscuous pigs (myself included). A small minority may claim they are looking for monogamy, but they then go on to say while they are looking for Mr. Right, Mr Right Now will do just fine.

  34. Mikey

    Because our lgbt (more particularly the “g”) society is quite shallow to begin with. Soooo many of us desire perfection. We create these unattainable lists of “preferences” and expect someone to just walk into our lives and date us.

    This is why so many of us single and will remain so forever until we die. And of course you’re too damn proud so you never shorten down that bucket list of preferences because that would be simply “settling” if you gave up one out of the 27 things a guy MUST have.

    Our lesbian sisters don’t have as much problems with dating as we do…and the above is why.

  35. tentpole30

    The phrase “to the front of the line” is an unfortunately overused way to indicate a preference, and, as you indicate, it comes off arrogant, snobbish, and rude.
    But some guys are open enough to consider looking further down “the line” of potential prospects, and not applying rigid rules and stipulations. A preference isn’t necessarily an only choice.
    The truly difficult part of stating anything in a profile is the writer’s lack of communication skills, an inability to state clearly what he’s really looking for, and a crude reliance on worn out and abused jargon and phrases, including “front of the line.” And yet, all too often, what we read is truly what the guy meant to say, and those are the men who really do end up sitting home waiting for that “line” to form.

  36. Rolyn

    It’s really some kind of ego tripping, and that way would draw attention to others that he’s actually a sought after guy ( commodity ) i may say….
    Just hate it really, “some people have bigger egos than their dicks”….

  37. truckercouple

    it’s a figure of speech and to assume that anyone that anyone is talking to is ONLY have sex w/ them is SERIOUSLY naive. I’ve learned by being online and out for 4 years that 80 percent of the men I speak to online are missing a few screws upstairs anyway, so I don’t put to much into what guys write on their profiles…. if i had a dime for everyone guy who wrote they’re NOT into hooking up, YET the first thing they write me, HOW HUNG, WHERE ARE YOU, WYD, etc, so on and so on, I’D BE SERIOUSLY RICH…… i make guys mad all the time because when i say i’m not looking, I MEAN IT, and i don’t care WHO or WHAT you look like, it isn’t going to change.

    as for TYPES, yeah everyone has that certain look that makes them melt, WE ALL Do and anyone who says they don’t is a big fat fucking liar and 99 percent of ALL online gay social websites are used for SEX anyway regardless of how it’s advertised.. gay men will turn a Sunday church service into a sexual activity if possible and they could get away with it.

    I find it so odd how pissy guys get when other guys aren’t into them, i mean really, REJECTION is NOT that big of a deal whether they tell you no or it’s RIGHT THERE in their profile that they won’t like you, YET guys will continue to write someone even though it says what they like. When I was single and wrote what i liked yet EVERYONE that was the total opposite would write me got VERY annoying.

    It all comes down to this, when someone tells me how hot it would be to have sex w/ me, i’m thinking, “well it wouldn’t be hot for me.” I personally believe everyone has ppl who think they are hot, so it doesn’t mean you have to get BENT when someone u want doesn’t want you back, GET over it and move on and also men need to stop going after guys out of their league… it just seems everyone wants pity sex instead of just going for guys on the same level they are.. i know it sounds rude but it’s TRUE and everyone has a level and a league…. can u change it, YES,, get buffed like most guys who,, MEN are visual so if guys didn’t like you before THEY WILL after,,,, should it be that way, HELL NO, but it is what it is…..i can name 10 ppl, I know right now who aren’t that hot in the face but have GORGEOUS bodies and had they not worked on their bodies, THEY’D STILL BE LONELY GUYS WHINNING HOW NO ONE WANTS THEM……. men and women need to stop feeling so fucking sorry for themselves and DO SOMETHING to change things instead of trying to force everyone to fall in love with their personality.. HELLOOOOOOOOO no is going to get to know your personality when you dress and look like an old man at 25, and older guys need to lift a finger to look like they care instead of just being grumpy old perverted men.

  38. choppedandscrewed

    I still think if u exclude a race u shouldn’t be allowed to post a profile on A4A. Its the only way to nip it in the butt. Even if u u aren’t open to interracial sex which does include blk on wht/ azn on mex/ so on and so on…..make em fix their profiles to should PC!

  39. Eddie

    What do you think A4A is? OkCupid?
    A4A is for hooking up. Plain and simple. When you hookup with someone, you have a preference of who you want to hookup with. Why do it with someone who doesn’t appeal to you?

    Deal with it.

  40. einathens

    gawd, queens, over-react much?

    ‘front of the line’ is a statement of aspiration, an evocation of the dream fuck we all have in our heads.
    it’s what we want, not what we can get.

    ‘no ______’ and ‘______ only’ are statements of individual judgment, no matter how narrowminded we think someone else’s may be.

    we’re gay men. that means that in theory, every man on the planet is a potential sex partner. we have to each find our own ways to winnow down the choices, lest the overwhelming options paralyze us.

    i think that saying people using the phrase ‘front of the line’ feel that everyone wants to sleep with them is a bit of an over-reach.
    i would describe myself as on the cute side of average, heading toward “my god he’s aging well!’ territory, and i get about 10-12 profile hits per day.
    is that a line, or just a cluster?

  41. Brandon

    I’m not going to lie, I LOVE sex, however, call me old fashioned, a prude, whatever you would like, but I refuse to meet up or even talk to someone who would use such terms. I appreciate social graces, thoughtful gestures, class, integrity, and most importantly: GOOD GRAMMAR! Since when did it become ok for people to offer sexual favors or proposition you for intercourse before they even know your name? The anonymity of these online dating apps are the demise of dignity and self respect. Have a little class. Show some respect to others as well as yourself. Sex, especially in the gay community has become so trivial, it’s like shaking hands. I’m not going to say that I have never hooked up. I have, unfortunately, but I have grown since my “whore stage” (which was short lived) and uphold myself to certain standards that many would call “old fashioned” but I don’t care. It takes more than a set of washboard abs and a 9″ cock to get my legs to spread these days! When I lay my head down at night, I rest easy. I’m not concerned about my disease status or ridiculing myself for my actions with the guy that just left my bed and I have trouble remembering his name. What happened to traditions and courtships? It use to be that you waited until marriage before engaging in sex, then the 3 date rule, now it’s whoever is online and 1.6 miles away!

  42. justAVERAGE

    When I see “to the front of the line” on a profile I just assume the guy likes to believe he’s on a reality dating show like The Bachelorette or I Love New York and he just wants to be treated like the princess… or, uh the queen he is.

  43. Derek

    The gay community has become pathetic and a big joke. I distanced myself from it a long time ago, because people have stopped being human. For some reason, amongst gays, love and kindness has become an unwanted disease. What’s sad to me is that there are countless numbers of gay people who are living successful lives, but are overlooked because they don’t fit into the “mold”! Instead we have crack pike toting, bed wetting issue having, empty, not to mention shady & delusional individuals who have become representatives of what Gayness is.I would never turn my back on who I am and what I stand for, but I will not take part in any of the childish nonsense!

  44. Jonny

    Wow, you guys really think there seriously is “a line?” ….lol.. and you guys then go on to judge? Who are u guys? There is no line….its just a phrase…. it only indicates what someone has a top or main preference for….be real with yourselves… most guys are on this to hook up… there are some that aren’t, but the ratio of guys that jst want to get it in surpasses that of those who don’t….so they can’t be specific as to what they like and want? They can’t have a preference? This topic kind of ties into the whole “black only/white only “, a lot of guys felt it was “stupid/ignorant ” to even say that in a profile, but I bet those are the main ones who are feeling a little salty they were rejected. Stop thinking there’s actually a line of dudes just waiting and itching to get it on….stop over analyzing, stop sounding bitter, and finally (and most importantly) stop judging others….

  45. Allen

    Cruising for sex is a lot like target practice. We all aim for our particular bull’s eye guy, but are occasionally quite happy to hit even the outer rings. We ALL have preferences, that’s ‘normal’. Come on, what is worse a guy with preferences that wants suitors to stand in line or the guy with no standards/preferences that fucks around with anything and everything that responds to his ad? For me a good looking younger guy with a twink body gets my heart pumping quickest. But I have a 6’3″, 260#, muscular, lumberjack look alike that is INCREDIBLE to be with. It’s OK to have preferences–as long as that isn’t accompanied with prejudice, arrogance or rudeness.

  46. jnjkjnglhmrsmith

    My favorite is “be around my age” I’m trying to be around your age, you sweet thing, but you won’t let me LOL! Or “be under 30 (or whatever). I keep trying, but damn-I seem to get older every day!

  47. Kevin

    So wait…we’re not allowed to have preferences in regards to what or whom we’re attracted? That’s absurd. This whole article is predicated on the false belief that just because we’re in a minority, we must therefore be completely accepting of every facet of human behavior and have no individual tastes at all. What a crock. Sorry but it is decidedly NOT “tragic” or “sad” to be attracted to certain types of guys and anyone who says otherwise is full of it.

  48. Singelguy

    I always have to chuckle when the gay community complains that it still suffers from discrimination, yet the gays discriminate against each other in such shallow and superficial ways. I think like most when I see a laundry list of requirements, it comes across as selfish and arrogant, regardless if I fit the requirements or not. Why not be a little more positive? State who you are and what you have to offer instead of demanding what you are unwilling or unable to give of yourself. There are a lot of nice guys out there but it seems the majority just want dick and ass and nothing else. Very sad but welcome to the narcissism of the 21st century.

  49. goldenloverinmym

    the line forms here.lol what a bunch of shit.if i send a mssg that shows i’ve got intrest in u if u have no intrest in me have the respect 4 me and send a mssg back saying no thanks or fuck off at least

  50. 2men

    Seems to me that everyone does this to a degree, nothing wrong with having a preference, build, skin or hair color… Is there? See no reason to fuck someone that I do not remotely find appealing? Maybe guys should pay more attention to whom their hitting up? Just food for thought.

  51. Hunter

    Noticed a few posts here that included “this is a hookup site.” Plenty of guys list that they’re looking for friends or long term relationships without listing they’re here for just the next piece of meat. I’ve always gone at meeting guys with a the plan being it’ll be an ongoing thing. Consequently, over the years I’ve developed a pool of really good friends who also happen to be good, very good, whenever we hit the workbench because we know each others triggers. Chasing guys for hook ups or one night stands … why not just stay home and wack off? It’s much easier and keeps you from experiencing Buyer’s Remorse when you get into the thick of play and realize you and he for sure aren’t made for hooking up. But, hey, if cruising for the next Once and Done really trips your trigger, knock yourself out.

  52. Nick Tomaso

    I agree with 2men…. I would rather know some type of preference before I start a conversation and get so involved only to find out that a dude doesnt like a certain characteristic. I will say that the picky guys are never what they say they are when you meet them or they are so strange in some way that it is a turn off.

  53. Pop_rox

    Honestly speaking, Everyone has their preference, which is ok to have and state them. What it really comes down to is tact and how ones preferences are written. Unfortunately, when guys think with their cocks sometimes tact is forgotten. Have your preferences and ill have mine, but be nice about it.

    Pop_rox

  54. Dezybro

    i always just thought the front of the line was a metaphor for what attracts you. never took it as a literal line with many men filled in it. interesting read and i agree none the less.

  55. Doug

    Men are so funny! I met mine through adam and never expected him to be type from what I “thought” I liked, or would moved to the front of my line. I love him like I’ve loved no other. Keep you mind open and your heart will fill! Come on, are we boys, or men?

  56. Confused

    Wait, so if I don’t accept every invitation to hook up, or “chat” with old dudes, fatties or creepers, I’m somehow a bad guy?

  57. Confused

    And another thing, stop telling me to be nice in my Internet profile. What rainbow-pooping-unicorn world do you think we live in. Grow a pair and don’t have your feelings hurt because of something you read. What a bunch of pansies.

  58. boy jay

    its really not all that complicated. If you stick to “open and honest” in your ad and only respond to ads that are open about the person posting, expectations can stay real. I don’t have an attitude if someone says they like hairy guys…I move on. I can be nice or ruff and mean, but I can’t get hairy. It is a real and valid constraint and saves me a meeting that will be frustrating for both of us. Tell it like it is and WYSWYG!

  59. edgar_truth

    i’ll admit i’m a self loathing gay… not because of the sex with men or social stigma, but with because how deeply stupid, racist, marginalizing and two-faced the gay community is and it’s utter refusal to see itself in a truthful light. But anyways, i guess we’re all allowed to be picky as long as we know where said pickiness comes from. You don’t like a certain race of people, odds are you’re vaguely racist and you just don’t want to admit it to yourself because modern people aren’t supposed to be that way. if you don’t like a specific body type just be honest and say that, but you need to realize that if someone from that body type hits on you, don’t be a raging queen about it and be mean to them, which faggots love to do but turn around and pretend they love every one in the community come pride… which is a fucking farce.

  60. W. Grant

    It’s never about what exactly is said, but the manner in which it is. Everyone is entitled to their “preferences”, but someone who doesn’t fit a sexual ideal for someone else could turn out to be the best friend they could ever have. Writing profiles is tedious enough, but if, upon looking at your profile through someone else’s eyes, you’re disgusted by how it’d make you feel to be judged so poorly, take that part out. LOL!

  61. Jorge

    Well, a couple of posters already said this but I’ll repeat it anyway. Of course everyone has preferences but it is how those are stated that can make the poster seem arrogant, insensitive or outright rude and mean (which I’m sure some are). 2 things about it.

    1) I appreciate knowing the person’s preferences because it saves us both time and I don’t get offended if I don’t fit their criteria (not sure why so many do). I just move on. I don’t see anything wrong with that. If stated in a positive manner, well, you just get more bees with honey. However, for those that are arrogant and show it, it is also helpful because it makes it easier to stay away from them and their sorry asses.

    2) That said, on the other hand; Why not treat other human beings nicely, as you wish to be treated? No need to be rude about anything. It’s unattractive regardless of how good you look or think you look. If someone writes to you, please respond. It’s only polite. Not being so, only singles you out as an asshole. Just an opinion, you can continue being as asshole if you wish. But as stated in #1, you get more bees with honey. Because regardless if I meet a criteria or not, or if you’re “hot” or not, if you come across as arrogant or just a plain asshole, I’m not interested. And I suspect many more won’t be either. So, you’re “line” will be rather short if not non-existent.

    EX of a preference stated in a positive manner:
    Positive: Prefer thin guys.
    Nasty: No fats! sorry.

    You can tell who the nice guys is and who the jerk is. And by the way, when the follow it by “sorry”, they’re not sorry at all, except that they themselves are a sorry ass jerk.

  62. Scarpien

    LOL I never even considered there might actually be a “line” per se for guys possessing the desired qualities to jump in front of. Now there’s a thought.
    But here’s another thought. Even if there was a “line,” messages sent by interested parties are queued in the order received. So how would the desirable prospect get to the front of this “line” if they sent a message after the less desirable candidate? Just some food for thought.

  63. David in HK

    I don’t understand why you have to tell people how to write their profiles. If they are pompous, egotistical assholes and say “front of the line,” then I want to know it straightaway. Telling guys to conform to some kind of acceptable language is, in effect, covering up their true intent. Likewise, if someone calls themselves a “pig” I’m not interested. Yes, I can be a bit of a closet pig, but I sure as hell am not going to say that in my profile.
    My pet peeve is a guy starting off by asking personal questions (or a cock pic) and not even having anything in their profile or having no pic. I ignore them, unless they have great stats and are well hung. Just kidding. 🙂

  64. John...

    This is nothing but creating dram out of something for the mere sake of creating drama.

    If a guy says (so and so to the front of the line) it just means that those types are what he enjoys best. When you order food in a restaurant you are doing the same exact thing.

  65. unclestuds

    whew what a line! i used this once, my self meant prefrefence and uncderstand you all have line an i have lost ewhat was to say here and now know what happened to the guys was chatting with; they all on here reading this blog or writting to it


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