Dating: How to Deal with Running into Former Hookups
(Photo Credits: Sean Cody)
It was supposed to be just one time, one time; and then you forget about each other and move on with your lives. However, as fate would have it, you accidentally ran into your hookup while doing your groceries and alas, you don’t want to talk or reconnect with him so what do you do? A.) Make a run for it; B.) Worse, he does.
Running into a former fuck buddy, hookup, or even an ex-boyfriend is not impossible. Certainly, it has been known to happen to many others before and why not, if you’ve met once, then the two of you can meet twice in this lifetime. After all, while the universe is big, there’s such a thing as serendipity. The question is: what do you do when this happens to you?
We can’t blame you if you make a run for it, or if he does, or if you pretend you didn’t see him, or if you hide. It’s a potentially awkward situation but there’s a way out of it that allows both of you to keep your dignity intact.
- Keep it Casual and Kempt (KICK) – no, we aren’t asking you to kick him, lol. What we mean is keep it casual and neat (kempt worked better for the acronym thingy but you know what we mean 😂). This is your option if you don’t want to talk to him but neither do you want to ignore him. Nod at him in recognition but keep walking and walking and walking and walking, you get the drift? And don’t look back either. Both of you knew it was a one-time thing, no need to keep the situation even more awkward than it already is.
- Keep it Short and Sweet (KISS) – so, your mouth opened and said hi before you can catch yourself. But that’s okay because you can either keep walking or, if you had said more, you can still end this encounter on a high note by simply asking him how he is doing and then bid him goodbye and that’s it. If he initiated the conversation instead and said hi, smile and say hi back and quietly go on your way, no need to keep the encounter longer than necessary unless he does, of course.
Our list—as you can see—is short but if you have something more to add, please feel free to do so in the comments section. We can’t think of anything more to say except, while we can do nothing to prevent the inevitable, we can always choose to react with respect and kindness.
That being said, have you ever accidentally run into a hookup? If so, how did you handle it? What did the other guy do? Sound off below!
I had a long term relationship and we would go out to movies quite a bit. So we run into someone he’d hooked up with once or twice in the past. The meeting started out cordial but the guy ended up intentionally smacking in to me and spilling my hot tea all over me. Cute, guess he wasn’t quite over it.
How are those Red Sox doing?
“Dating: How to Deal with …”
A real question is, “why are we creating situations where we have to ‘deal with” or ‘handle’ running into a guy?” “What dating situations are we voluntarily putting ourselves into that regularly end up with ‘dealing with’ or ‘handling’?”
Maybe we need to behave like adults instead of high schoolers, stop treating other guys as disposable, and develop good, repeated FWB relationships with guys instead of crappy once and done hookups. It’s not hard … start with keeping our penises in our pants for a bit and get to know guys. Then decide if we should get in bed with them.
Or maybe we can behave like polite adults regardless whether or not we kept our penises in our pants because if we are old enough to “hook up” then we should be mature enough to encounter someone we’ve previously fucked without acting like embarrassed schoolgirls. I would also suggest that we should be mature enough not to slut shame others as a means to judge them and enforce our own personal moral codes.
You’re a case of butt hurt because of the suggestion that we have some self-respect and self-preservation and spend a little time vetting sexual prospects before turning our bodies, health and sexual happiness over to them??
For me it is easy, either way I am going to be polite and curious as there is no reason to be a dick….:) I will talk if they want too, if not a smile and move on, if it was a hot encounter then by all means chat away! The only way it is a bit odd for me is if they are with their “other” and it happens to be a women, happened to me and it was a bit odd as he was struggling to explain to his wife who I was and how we knew each other, it was a hot encounter and he was so hungry for dick I was a bit caught off guard by his wife, oh well……
I keep it polite and, if they are with someone, be a gentleman and keep your damn mouth shut. just enjoy the memory.
nerd alert
Oh, yeah, just acknowledge each other, out of respect and move on. Better yet, keep these interactions as far and few as you possibly can, limit, these ‘Mr now’ types, masturbate more often, no, honestly. In the past I’ve seen guys that every time you see them they’re hooking up with someone different, they may as well travel with a mattress on their backs, lmao. Respect yo’ self.
Uncanny.!!! I read this yesterday, was sitting in a subway station a great distance from home, and noticed a dude walk by. I saw him notice me, and avert his gaze, which is what caught my notice. It turns out he was a dude who visited three times before he behaved embarrassingly. No hard feelings but I have no intention of playing with him again. I did walk to the rear of the platform as the train approached, stood across from him, he walked further down the car, so I decided to not speak.
I live by three words in these situations:
Grace
Dignity
Poise
When you run into a past fling, or one time hook up… address the situation with Grace, Dignity, and Poise… Every situation will be different, so you have to be quick on your feet sometimes, but if you are cordial and polite, then it should all work out just fine.
From the above comments, it sounds like most guys have the same intentions when this happens to them… I think most men are basically easy going and recognize a one night stand or “hook up” for what it is.