Survey: What Do You Use Adam4Adam For?
What do you use Adam4Adam for, guys? Are you perhaps looking for Mr. Right? Or are you looking for Mr. Right Now?
Also, let’s take a look at the type of profile pictures of men who attract you the most, shall we? Do you tend to message or look at the profile of guys who show their biceps and abs or are you attracted to fully dressed men who post photos of their vacation trips on their profile instead? And what about you, what types of photos do you post on your A4A profile?
Anyway, we are asking because there is a study that suggests there’s a driving force behind the way people present or “market” themselves on dating apps like Adam4Adam.
The study is based on signaling theory which is defined as a “body of theoretical work examining communication between individuals both within species and across species.” Simply put, when we are applying for a job, how do we “signal” or communicate to the employer we are worthy or that we are the best fit for the job? We can’t simply tell them, “I’m intelligent” or, “I’m talented” when in the first place, our kind of intelligence or talent might not be what’s needed or what’s suitable for that job? We show them instead proofs that we can do it: our education, work experience, sample works, and make that first great impression during the interview to name a few.
The same thing applies to dating. But how do we find our best match when here in Adam4Adam we have 10M members?
Well, according to this study, it all boils down to our profile photos but the thing is that we cannot cheat about it. And just like how we spend money and time in getting our diploma and honing our talents, we also need to expend resources and energy to grow and maintain our “image.” This is called the “cost.”
For example, straight guys tend to use “conspicuous consumption” to attract women on online dating. Conspicuous consumption simply means “expenditure on or consumption of luxuries on a lavish scale in an attempt to enhance one’s prestige” so straight men may post photos of themselves with their expensive cars, house, or maybe their yacht. This actually makes sense because straight men want to show they have the ability and resources to take care of a family. For women on the other hand, it is moral and prosocial behavior (caring, sharing, volunteering, and empathizing with others). This is the case, I guess, because by showing they are capable of loving and taking care of others (mostly strangers), then it is equivalent to saying they can do that to their family (or future family) as well.
But for gay men it is physical fitness and good looks. And this is precisely why the profile photos we tend to see here at A4A are of shirtless men displaying their muscles and abs or workout photos. It is simply gay men’s way of saying that they take good care of their body. However, gay men who are simply looking for sex or hookup will also show their muscular body so it can be a bit tricky if you’re looking for Mr. Right instead. On the bright side, the study did reveal gay men are more forthcoming than straight men and women about what they want so they will more likely tell you clearly they are DTF (down to fuck).
That being said, how true is this study for you, guys? Do you also think that gay men who take good care of their body are your good or perfect match? If that is not the case for you then what is your kind of guy? Moreover, what types of photos do you tend to upload on your Adam4Adam profile? More importantly, are you here on Adam4Adam to look for Mr. Right or Mr. Right Now? Also, do you want helpful tips on how to improve your Adam4Adam profile and profile pictures? Check out our previous posts here and here.
I use it to hook up.
This, is a good subject as well,
While admittedly, I occasionally will look at an exceptionally good looking sexy naked body, I ‘really’ appreciate being able to see their face-eyes, and what they convey to me; as I’m looking for many things. Very rarely “Mr. Right now,” love to read their profiles as to what
they are looking for. I’m looking to-for networking, conversation, something more lasting…
something in common other than the obvious.
I like a man who is a little on the conservative side, who can articulate like myself; I just want ‘him’ to see that yes, I’m in reasonable shape and I’m stating ‘honestly’ what I looking for.
It’s quite rare, Mr. right now, that’s just too easy ‘if’ you’re just looking for sex, ignoring “who” they maybe, not even when I was “clubbing.”
It’s about a simple date- intimacy for me, if that goes well, next few dates will move us closer to “nutting”, the quick, easy, not for me. This hunting, or for “fun” I’d rather date, then fool around, allow for some anticipation to develop, I gotta have good character, especially, these days. I guess I tend to “roll on the deep-end” anyway. I have and look for qualities other than
the just the physical.
As a 58-yr-old bi-married guy who’s kept my homo side a dark secret since I first felt something for guys some 40-45 years ago, I’m on here solely for the sex. I skim the profiles looking for the following in this order: 1. ) safety & responsibility – if a guy doesn’t put “condom” in his profile and indicate his HIV status, I move onto the next one, regardless if he indicates being on PreP or not; 2.) tone of the profile – I’ve been using a4a for well over 10 years and have long since developed a knack of knowing when I’m dealing with a nice responsible person vs. an a’hole based on how he composes his profile; 3.) pix – I like to see at least a chest pic (including dick is nice, but not mandatory) and ideally a face pic (upon request). If these 3 “requirements” pass muster, then I approach guys by point-blankly telling them I’m looking to have safe sex with them and might they be equally interested. Then of course come all the other things like having a place to play, developing a rapport, the timing, etc.
Profile Photos:
Anything but a face photo I don’t even see. The eye just slides right by. Everyone has a penis, everyone has a butt, everyone has a belly. Not interested. The face and eyes tell what a man is about.
Tattoos are an immediate deal breaker. Won’t even look. You were born with a perfectly lovely body and you should not have attempted to improve it with fakeness.
If a guy’s body is too worked out or too defined I’ll also not be interested. If he spends that much time in the gym he doesn’t spend enough time in more important aspects of a well rounded, well grounded life.
But then, I’m not looking for anything here. I just come for shits and giggles. Some of the haircuts (like the guy on the left in the photo that opens this blgopost) are laugh-out-loud ridiculous. Why doesn’t anyone post that they play radio pinochle? I really want to put together a pinochle foursome!
By the way, Dave, you state that straight men show conspicuous consumption, straight women show prosocial behaviour, and gay men show gym bodies. What about lesbians? Is it the power tools?
Making friends and hookup
I use this site strictly for entertainment. No one on this site is evidently not interested in actually meeting up with someone else. All talk and no follow thru.
Hook ups. But if a friendship comes along, I would’ve deny it.
Mostly use as social media myself.
You totally misinterpret body pics, by my views. Guys who only show their bodies are being narcissistic, among other things. I only really go for guys who have the courage to show their face and true self. I am looking for some kinds of relationships. One-offs happen by accident. I wouldn’t mind finding good friends, either. I hate profiles that only show cock or, worst, asshole, or foreskin. I hate profiles that fill their text with a bunch of negative statements, judgements and conditions. Not that there isn’t much to criticize about profiles. I also hate the ones that are misspelled.
I also hate profiles full of contradictions, like, I’m shy (but I have photos of my ass and dick).
I use A4A to chat with men all over the world,I meet 2 guys on this site in my area b4,nothing came from the meeting with them,I also love the health information,Thxs,but mostly chatting with men,love them men from Africa,the island nation and central America!
I try to use it for hook ups now that Craigslist has gone away but it is just not as good.
Wow ..
“But for gay men it is physical fitness and good looks.” Precisely why so many gay guys complain they just can’t find a guy.’
“And this is precisely why the profile photos we tend to see here at A4A are of shirtless men displaying their muscles and abs or workout photos.” As I just surveyed my city, and a couple of places I travel to from time to time), when looking at a page of 15 guys: almost 1/2 are dressed (about 1/3 of them reveal more if you click on their profiles), 1/4 are penis or ass pics, and the rest are blank. No where near “we tend to see”.
Yes, a guy’s pic will get my attention, but I just don’t see ” shirtless men displaying their muscles and abs or workout photos.” Those are rare.
And I’m glad they are! I’ve gotten to know a great group of guys who, even if they wanted to, could not display “their muscles and abs or workout photos.” They are guys I’m glad I dug into their profiles and had discussions with. The benefits? Hours of awesome time “on the workbench” having fun. And the bonus is, they’re guys who I have great relationships with … and will for years to come.
So if you’re looking for Mr. Right Now or are one of the “gay men who are simply looking for sex or hookup”, there’s GREAT news. You’re going to looking for that for a long time to come!
I use A4A to find hole and see what the blog says.
I have been trying to use Adam4Adam to find a friend. Apparently, it does NOT work, at least in my case.
I like to use Adam to meet other gay men regardless if it leads to sex. Going back to 2005, I’ve met some great friends off Adam (and yeah I had sex with all of them) including my partner of the past 11 years.
Wow, you’re an old timer! Nice to know that we still have you on board!
Dave
This is my one and only social media outlet. I’m not on Facebook or any other social (sex) site. I met friends on here that I vacation with. Friends that I have Thanksgiving Dinner with. I’m normally a shy person but this site have brought me out. I learned a whole lot from the blogs and look forward to the next subject. Being single and sometimes lonely and chose to be alone, this site entertains me with the variety of guys on here. Lastly, sexually this site offers me the option to have sex with white guys if I chose too, black guys if I chose too and Hispanic guys if I chose too. Luckily I’m a very attractive african American guy with a great body that I work my azz off to maintain, intelligent and have a great personality gives me the sex appeal to attract the above- mentioned. 😉
Great to hear man!
Enjoy and thanks for your comment!
Dave
Well,
I have been here well over fifteen years and have evolved through many stages of desire.
What I have noted is that:
1. While you can state that you are looking for dates and do not hookup, most people do not read profiles and/or ignore the content.
2. Guys will often become short and/or angry with you if you do not hookup, stating ” This is a sex site, what are you doing asking for dates.” That’s kinda like saying “the supermarket is for cake, why are you buying vegetables,” then wondering why you’re obese.
3.Yes, your pictures do determine what kinda response you get, honestly though… having moved from cockshot, to face pic, to chest pic only. Guy’s respond to what they can’t see… I get more interest if guys have to ask me to unlock for a face pic. My opinion, guys want what they can’t see.
4. Lastly if you inquire “Where does one go to meet guy’s, that is not an app or a bar?” Guy’s get really hostile with you. There seems to be a belief that if you are on A4A you must be DTF, if you deny this, guys will deliver a hate-filled message and block you. Time to grow up guys, your agenda is not the only agenda on A4A or in life. This is a platform for many purposes, perhaps it’s time we began to create more offline community and real connections.
This is really about hooking up, yes, there are select few that wants friendship and relationships, but this is to meet men for now or later imo. Sadly, like social media, this is pretty public, I mean, I’ve seen guys here that you see at the supermarket lol!
I have used A4A since 2004. Believe it or not I have chatted with more guys than I have ever met from this site. I have made some virtual friends who we casually keep in touch with each other. I have met some guys who I have slept with. Met guys who I have vacationed with and did not sleep with them.
X rated pics as the public photos are a major turn off for me. I am an older, conservative, Black man who likes to date and get to know a person. I am not an openly gay man so I respect those who have private photos like me and can choose to share with those they choose to do so. Misspelled words are a major turn off. A4A has been good as I travel as well.
There are many decent guys on this site. I do take the time to actually read the profiles.
I use it so I can be rejected on a regular basis because I am looking for a hookup. Its not my fantasy or kink to be rejected or humiliated, its just what happens.
I wish this site would go back to having chat rooms.. especially when you could chat privately with someone.. that used to be entertainment !! Made a lot of guys get their rocks off with some hot and heavy keyboard pounding 🙂
I forgot to mention that I just love the recipes!