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Health: Hiding Your Sexuality Means A Higher Suicide Risk

Those in the LGBTQ community know that coming out of the closet can be a liberating experience. But one study suggests that it can also be lifesaving. A study in the American Journal of Preventative Medicine suggest that teens who hide their sexual orientation are at higher risk for suicidal behaviors.

The study focused on teens experiencing sexual orientation discordance, which the investigators defined as teens who identified as gay or lesbian but only had sexual contact with the opposite sex or both sexes. It also includes those who identify as heterosexual but had sexual contact with only the same sex or both sexes.

The research involved nearly 7000 high school students who were asked about health and risk behaviors, with two of the questions focusing on sexual orientation.

The survey results showed that about four percent of the teens had experienced sexual orientation discordance. Thirty-two percent of the gay and lesbian students surveyed were experiencing sexual orientation discordance, while only three percent of the heterosexual students experienced it.

But the more troubling responses where when the teens were asked if they had seriously considered attempting suicide, made a plan about how they would attempt suicide, or previously attempted suicide. Forty-six percent of the teens who experienced sexual orientation discordance reported suicidal thoughts or behaviors, compared to 22 percent of students who didn’t feel a mismatch between their sexual identities and their actions.

While the study was conducted on teen respondents, the findings are similar to previous studies in adults. Those studies also found links between sexual orientation discordance and suicidal ideation.

Have any of you readers experienced sexual orientation discordance? What steps did you take to overcome it? What advice would you give LGBTQ youth experiencing it? Share your thoughts and advice in the comments section below.


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  1. Lamar

    Ha! You should tell that to a man I just spoke to on here recently…

    He said, “this site is really going to hell.” I told him, “remember back in our day we had no such resource, its not the site its the people.” He says, ‘you’re right.”

    Fast forward, he hates labels ’cause he’s bi- and doesn’t like being labeled as such, get this folks, lol; he calls himself a “Red-Neck” excuse me, all to m-f**king hell and back, but, isn’t that a label, “Red-Neck?” I told so then that means, you’re “sexually fluid” then, lol?

    He’s not out see, he’s my age, I told him, “people can do the math, you know,” you don’t have to be out…

    • Hunter0500

      The gay “Community” insists gays are one or the other … “in the closet” or “out”. Many guys here have posted here that they’re neither. Their sexuality is on a “need to know” basis. They discuss it only with people who they have sex with, or who they chose to reveal it to in the course of conversation, or who ask based upon knowing them well enough. There’s no “I’m gay. Deal with it.”

      I’m I that camp. No one needs to be challenged to accept my sexuality. No one needs to deal with it.

      How do we teach teens they do not need to “hide” who they are while not demanding anyone “deal with” who they are? How do we teach them to choose a no pressure option where suicide or any pain is a true part of the equation?

      Maybe the “Community” needs to stop its pressuring.

      • Lamar

        Yeah, “don’t ask don’t tell” no need to live a life of integrity, right? No need to whatsoever, its every bodies prerogative to do so, or not… I feel you.

        Its just that as a non-apologetic African American, there is no self-denial or otherwise, see, I view my sexuality as a parallel to that. People actual do sometimes; expecting you to lie, “are you gay” or bi, my answer, “you damn right I am, now what,” defiantly, but that’s just me.

  2. craig kondrick

    Confusion occurs from alot of progress as well, many gay people can be themselves enough to not have to worry about what alot more people use to get them to believe about thems many years ago although some of that may exist along with gay mens sexual preferences such as masculinity or being femine and many people will latch on to those preferences as a way to hide themselves in ways of thinking that are part of heterosexual cultures, i myself grew up hunting and fishing and learning about wildlife, farming , but also came from a city environment as well, but im neither a ghetto thug or a redneck, im craig

  3. bjjj

    I am older, in my 60s, and gosh it was a horrible sin back in my school days to even admit any sexual fascination with men, let alone coming out and saying and admitting that you were gay. But I remember being naked in locker rooms, seeing other guys nude, many of them having hard-on erections. I played the game of trying to be straight for many years. It only came to pass recently, many years later in life that I’ve came to grips with myself that I prefer men over women. Trying to live the straight life knowing deep down your gay or bisexual can be very depressing. If I had admitted back then that I preferred men, I would have been teased, ridiculed, may have even been physically assaulted, or even worse. I would have been disowned by my family, friends, and people I worked and went to school with. I can see why many gays and bi-sexual’s would have committed suicide. Luckily the world, at least in the US, people have become more accepting of the gay lifestyle. There’s still a lot of hatred of gays, and also interracial relationships. It’s sad that people just don’t accept each other, as we are all part of the human race.

  4. Cheese soup

    I agree with this article. It touched me personally. Those suicidal thoughts come and go; and when they come, they come hard. My 20s were very difficult, and I see it in others. I’m much older now, and the gay thing just isn’t mentioned in my family. They won’t ask any questions about my sexuality, including my mom, but they know. They are very respectful toward me. I wish I could bdays more open at work, but I just keep to myself, but I am out to the other gays in the office. The guys know that I’m gay but today’s generation really don’t care, well not all of them anyway.

  5. Thug

    I think it’s long past time to abandon the utterly homophobic paradigm of “the closet.” People aren’t born in closets… they’re put there. What we call “the closet” is really the developmental carnage inflicted by an all too often lethal form of child abuse that terrorizes children to the point where they decide the only way to be safe in this world is not to be in this world. Calling it “the closet” sanitizes and blurs the line of culpability. The perpetrators of this violence shouldn’t be let off the hook so easily. The “closet” is really a point on the spectrum of suicide. The victims of homophobia are forced to do the homophobe’s dirty work for them by taking themselves out. It’s just a matter of degree from the figurative to the literal. That those who are able to heal from this developmental assault to personality, identity, self-esteem have better outcomes shouldn’t be a surprise or news to anyone. Is it the “coming out” that heals or is it that those who manage to heal, somewhat, are better able to overcome what was done to them?

  6. Kevin

    I did it I came out last year I was believing my family we’ll support me NOPE WRONG my dad he no longer knows me my brother tell’s me I’m going to hell my sister she never like me friends I no people here I should have came out long time ago I’m happier less stress the don’t want me I no where to go


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