Speak Out: Denied of a Service Due to Sexuality
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The cake issue has resurfaced what with the story about the Justice Department supporting the Colorado baker who refused to bake a cake for a same-sex wedding because doing so is the opposite of his religious beliefs. “Forcing Phillips to create expression for and participate in a ceremony that violates his sincerely held religious beliefs invades his First Amendment rights,” Department of Justice said on the brief they filed. Said baker also has the support of quite a number of lawmakers.
The baker has previously lost his battle in court and a Colorado judge ruled that he “unlawfully discriminated against a gay couple by refusing to sell them a wedding cake” but has reportedly filed an appeal.
Over the past few years, cakes have become the symbol of the battle between religious freedom and LGBT rights. Both sides argue it isn’t just about the cake. Supporters of the former claims baking a cake for gay couples is against their religious beliefs while advocates of the latter say the refusal meant discrimination.
But cakes are just an example; it can be replaced by a florist or a photographer. It is one thing, being denied those services but gay couples being denied adoption or housing is another. I mean, yes, clearly these are all forms of discrimination but one can always take the high road and look for another establishment offering similar service. But being evicted, losing a job, struggling to adopt a child, or being denied hospital visitation rights or getting excluded from medical decision making while your partner is unconscious and fighting for his life—these are harder to face.
Having said that, have you ever experienced something similar? Has a business establishment ever denied you their service because of your sexuality? Have you ever found yourself in one of the scenarios mentioned above? What happened? What does the law say in your area?
Share with us your thoughts and stories in the comments section below.
My bf (former marine,28yo 6’4″ 220lbs and RIPPED!!!) and I were at a mom a pop restaurant and the line was long. Ppl started to leave it was so crowded. He hugged me a few times while on line as he was getting hungry (he’s the snickers commercial when he gets hungry). The clerk saw him hug me. As we got closer to the register the glaring looks became longer and meaner. When we stepped up my bf started spewing his lengthy order as now he is starving. The clerk said,”wouldn’t you rather eat somewhere else? We don’t serve fags!) I said,”no we are good here. Just get out food and all will be good.” As we stood there he said,”next!” My bf now was gonna get involved. Not good. Hungry & pissed… he said,” did you take our order?” the clerk said,”look maybe you didn’t hear me, we don’t serve fags! No go!!” As he made his mistake of pointing towards the door. Never point at a marine. It’s always bad for the pointer. My bf grabbed his hand and within a flash, the clerk was on our side of the counter. He yanked him over it in one easy tug. The clerk went to speak again. His face was met by two very hard punches. He immediately dropped to the floor. My bf picked him up by the neck and said,”you ever call anyone a fag again I’m coming back to rape you! Know this a fag just beat the fuck out of you!” Then dropped him on the floor. Everyone in the place heard the entire conversations up to the end. He was applauded by everyone. The owner came out having known none of this had happened to his clerk on the floor holding his face. My bf reached over the counter grabbed a cup, filled a soda and we left. Went to bk next door. Be careful who you refuse service to. It may just be a former marine who happens to be a fag and hungry.
Your bf is bad assed and I applaud what he did!!! These “religious” zealots need to learn that they need to be careful who they insult. Their victim might just be someone who is tired of being abused and victimized and will punch their lights out just like your bf did!!
Better to serve us and THEN go to confession than piss one of us off and get your head handed to you.
You’re OK with someone threatening to rape someone????
Bravo! I bet that guy either knows someone very close to him that is gay or he himself may be one. Unfortunately, maybe this is the only way how these gay haters will slowly get it. We’re in 2017, people.
You should have said “Good cause we don’t eat fags. Well not literally.”
An idiotic story that probably didn’t happen. That marine could have been arrested for assault….all because he was allegedly called a name. Remember the saying sticks and stones….
his response was totally wrong and he could have ended up in jail for assault and battery, so he is just as in the wrong as the clerk was if not more.
Hooray for him! Your bf had every right to be pissed!!
My bf spent a lot of time in the sand box most Afghanistan, Turkey, Iraq, Bahrain and all over the Nothern Arabian Gulf. He is diagnosed PTSD. It is truly a real thing. It can be like a switch with him. Happy one minute and wanting to rip your head off another. I know it’s sounds unbelievable and some doubt it (that’s fine) but he’s the kind of guy that could give a fuck about being arrested. He looks like the boy next door with muscles but can be your worst enemy if you pushed his buttons. You and I look at jail differently then he would. He’d wonder “how’s the food? Can I read a lot of my books I don’t have time to? I hope the racks are comfortable. Would you mind if I hooked up while I was in jail?” That how he functions. He lives a life of fuck it,”I’ll pay the consequences if I fuck up.” His rules. That’s what I love about him. And did I mention he is fuckin ripped?
It’s only a matter of time before this comes back to bite the religious beliefers in their ass. One day, some xtian is going to be denied service because their beliefs “violate” the beliefs of some person of a different faith. What then?
Religion is a federally protected class, so in any state they can sue and win. Not so for us.
Several Christian denominations accept gays. Many gays are Christian. Maybe someday militant gays will accept others for who they are.
Remember who’s ruling the country right now. The Bible-thumping, rich, powerful Republicans that are going to make dramatic changes quickly, as we’ve witnessed this year. Reading and learning how it’s happening all over the country, makes me aware they’ve tolerated because it was politically correct. Tolerating is not acceptance. There’s still underlying hatred that is still being drilled into young one’s heads. One big hate crime, like the pulse mass shooting, is making those HATERS feel more powerful, as I’m sure Trump feels everyday as our new “officially elected” president. To me, this whole Trump election proves, money equals power. Trump and those Republicans behind him carry much of this country’s wealth. I remember the old “golden rule”-he that has the gold makes the rules.
Was the pulse shooting not just a disgruntled guy who went to the club? Correct me if I’m being stupid here but it wasnt b/c of homophobia or anything was it?
Here’s a thought, or a few thoughts: remember when one woman got all prayer out of government funded schools because of her beliefs? She could not be made to comply with even the majority beliefs. I thought it was wrong to make everyone change for one.
Here’s my point: the Baker doesn’t have to go to the wedding. If someone comes in and says he is straight but of a different religion, can the Baker deny service? If the Baker believes, as many fundamentalists do, that different races shouldn’t marry, can she refuse to bake for a mixed wedding? You know the Department of Justice would say religion was no excuse in those cases.
Here’s another point from Title IX: suppose she refused to sell to a woman, because religion said women weren’t allowed to do business. DOJ would punish her for gender discrimination. Refusal to sell for a gay marriage is discrimination because one of them isn’t female, or because both are. It has long been held that religion is not valid for discrimination.
Lastly, the business license comes from the same government that runs our schools. Do my thoughts make sense or not?
QUIT YOUR SILLY ASS WHINING!!
If they don’t want to serve you they shouldn’t be forced to.
You still have the choice to take your business elsewhere.
Why wouldn’t you want to support businesses that support you?
Because not everyone can just go to the bodega or pharmacy down the block. If the one business in your rural area won’t serve you because of this, you’re fucked. It’s also discriminatory. Which isn’t okay. Period.
The cake issue is ridiculous to me. As a nation, we are adjusting to a new normal, and it takes time to adjust. These are people who feel they are commiting a sin by baking a cake for a gay wedding. They are trying to honor their religious beliefs, not hurt another person. In ten years, this will be a non-issue. However, someone denied service because they are gay in any other setting is wrong. How does it conflict with a religious beliefs to serve someone breakfast? In the story above, that is not about a religious person. That is about someone who is just hateful. I wouldn’t WANT to eat there. Who knows what they would do to your food.
Part of living in a tolerant America is to be able to go and be served wherever you want that is open to the public. If this wasn’t advertised as a religious bakery but just a regular bakery, then they should have there request fulfilled. This is how it was in the 50’s and 60’s when interracial couples were getting married and services refused them. Some churched refused to marry interracial couples. While it is just a cake, it is the ability to be truly a part of America that matters. Gays are being denied more than cakes. This is another indication that this civil rights movement still has a ways to go. All people are never going to be okay with gays, but they sure as hell better except our money when we want something, like every other American. If people don’t stand up for the little things eventually those things will pile up and you’ll be fighting a mountain. People who have been treated like second class citizens because of there color or sexual orientation don’t have the luxury of closing their eyes to discriminatory situations. I live in a state that has strong discriminatory laws so I haven’t experience this, but I know I wouldn’t like it if it did happen. We have a ways to go before we can just sit back and think that this form of discrimination isn’t a big deal. If these business can get away with this, they will continue to get away with other blatant forms of discrimination as well. We can’t afford to stall or go backwards in this civil right movement.
Until homosexuality is a protected class under federal law, discrimination is perfectly legal. Frankly, I can’t imagine living in a place where this kind of backwards thinking occurs. But then, I live in California which has very different social mores from different parts of the country.
Why would I want to force someone to take my hard earned money or be pissed that they didn’t want it? Its their loss, not mine.
I have never had a problem here in Wisconsin being refused a service. But then again how would a business even know what the sexuality is of their customers, if you are single? I don’t
know of any business here in Wisconsin (i.e restaurant, motel, grocery store, bank, convenience store or whatever) that would ever ask what my sexuality is before they would serve me. lol I have never heard of any of these types of businesses ever refusing anyone because they are gay because they wouldn’t really know for sure if you are gay or not without asking. haha There are bakers, photographers, florists etc. here that do not provide any services for gay weddings, but they all serve gays with whatever else they may want (birthday cakes, portraits, or flowers for Mother’s Day etc). I don’t really know of any bakers, photographers, or florists here that would refuse to serve gays with other products and services that are not against their religious beliefs. They will serve gays with other things, just not gay weddings.
let a private business owner decide what business he/she wants to take, based on whatever opinions or belief system they have.
Dont have to insult people, but why cant a business owner politley refuse business?
Is it any different from the discrimination I see when gays post for roommates and only will rent to other gays?
That is illegal in most states yet since it is self-serving, the gay community ignores its presence.
How about you all have a little thicker skin amd go find some business interested in working with you and providing service
Dylan-I was having a dreary day, another birthday, another year closer to death, but after reading the response you posted to the “Cake Story” I just couldn’t help, but LAUGH-OUT-LOUD…
It is my opinion there are certain people that need “The Shit Kicked Out of Them” and the clerk at that place sounded like he had it coming.
Thank you for taking the time to post–IT MADE MY DAY !!!
P.S.
I just love–>Marines
Glad to have made you laugh. It’s a proven fact out of a platoon of marines 1/3 are gay. How do I know? They’ve partied at our condo. Ask anyone at camp lejeune about it. Lol. You’ll find one.
My first thought is get over it you’re never going to change anyone by shoving it down their throats and you only prove you can’t rise above by stooping to their level. Furthermore, you’re only dignifying their ignorance by taking so far and life is too short to waste your time trying to change stupid. So simply put find another baker. There’re plenty out there that would appreciate your business and who would most likely do a much better job seeing as they don’t loathe you. In closing, sure he’s there to make money but you trying to force your ideals on him is no better than him trying to force his ideals on you, so again, rise above and be the example not part of the problem. Besides he, just as you, have the right to think and feel how you want and it is his business and before you cry discrimination realize no one really cares until it’s convenient to do so or when it suits there own agenda.
My situation was a bit different. I was working as a curator at a museum when the director, a woman, made several sexual passes at me. I managed to refuse her advances only to be written out of the budget. This happened long before we have the few rights we have now. We must keep the fight going.
it’s outrageous that a baker/cake decorator(running a business open to the General Public) can Infuse his religious beliefs into a business transaction !
they’re not inviting him to the wedding nor asking him to participate. if you are providing a service to the public you must remove yourself and your beliefs from the transaction.
John, that would and should be fine. We need to be fairly rabid about protecting First Amendment rights.
Just find another bakery. Someone will be happy to take your money.
GOP response: It’s our right to discriminate against anyone we don’t like based on their sexuality, race, or gender.
I wonder what would happen if my BF and I went into a Chick-fil-A, (a Christian run restaurant that is closed on Sundays), order, and sit down together and do some hugging and kissing. It would be interesting to see what would happen. Plus we are also an interracial couple. Bet that would cause a stir!. I think we best avoid this place!
Let us know how that works out! Hot as fuck!!!
Just to update things, my BF and I don’t really go out of our way to make a “scene” of being gay. No we never went to Chick-fil-A. We do occasionally though give each other a kiss, hug, or hold hands when in public, and yes, sometimes people glance, stare, and wonder. We are usually asked in restaurants “will this be on one or two checks”. Or when waiting for a table, “are you two together”, as we walk close side by side. We hold hands in a theater or at a concert, and others look at us like “huh” wondering why us two guys, me being white, and my BF black, are sitting close to each other. Oh yea, btw, I am the BJ that wrote the post above. There is a another BJ on here as well that isn’t me.
Str8 guys won’t have sex with me because I am gay. Is that discrimination? Do you think I could get judge to order them to?
I don’t believe they should be forced to participate in a ceremony that is against their beliefs. I know I’m in the minority here… the gay community is out there fighting for our rights, but about the christians right to believe? I watched the interview the cake decorator gave on The View and I found him to be respectful and almost kind, no matter how wrong his opinions were.
I wouldn’t give the guy a dime of my business, but I think he should be protected under law as well.
This is so ridiculous. They were denied a cake, not a liver. People are such babies anymore. No wonder Trump won.
Try being stopped at the door of a business and asked for multiple forms of id and STILL being turned away.
There’s a difference between religious beliefs and business. Any business is out to make a profit regardless to who the product goes to.
Part of being in business is having a respectable demeanor.
Best action – BOYCOTT & PUBLICIZE so that it becomes known and it impacts the business.
I recently made the decision to move to a small beautiful suburb near ft. Myers, Orlando, having moved from Orange County, CA (near disneyland). I’ve always felt comfortable with my sexuality and who I am as an adult gay male. When I moved here, within my first month, a flaming glass bottle was thrown at the front of a gay bar; about 8 months before pulse. I should have recognized the red flag creating a faint alarm. The alarm continued to ring the longer I remained in a blue-collar, red southern state, where the mean age is 65. I started noticing people watching, looking and pointing. I thought it was because fashion is bout two seasons behind, but ultimately was made acutely aware, that families were pointing me out to their children and families as a gay man, negatively. I was then targeted repeatedly for no reason being sober walking home on a sidewalk. Was arrested for riding my bike without lights.
What made me make the dramatic decision to move to Orlando in January of 2017, was I noticed people tageting, staring and plotting against me. Ultimately, I was kicked out of the marina I was docking my boat while I lived aboard, for “having too many male visitors.” Which, as I’m sure you can deduce, is their indirect way of saying, “no gays.” They called a police escort to move me off the property. Orlando is more progressive, however, I still feel targeted and like I cannot or should not, for my well-being, act my gay self. I’m not even flamboyant. I’ve been astonishe, demeaned and have had my eyes open to a world I thought didn’t exist.
It breaks my heart the hate and level of discomfort I feel. After pulse, people are still hesitant. Transgender know where they’re sade and at what times. As far as my knowlege, despite one’s perception of the sex they identify with or in transition, they put Transgender male to female, amongst general population where they’re forced to shower in front of men and guards. On that note, the two negative interactions with police mentioned earlier, I learned quickly, they treat gays different in the jails. I was urged repeatedly to go to protective custody and after saying no, multiple times, I went to general population. I quickly learned, they SEGREGATE the gays to one or two rooms. Once everyone sees what room you walk into, the rumors and gay banter start. I’ve never really met a TRUE homophobe until that experience. Wow.
Florida has made me painfully aware of the hatred that exists even in our ever progressive, modern America we proudly call home. I however, no longer feel safe and feel the country is ready to start advocating hate and we are first up to bat. For the first time, I’m fearful and not proud to be openly gay. I talk about exes in non sex-assigned pronouns. I am comfortable with myself still, I’m just more aware of people and have learned there are many areas where it is unsafe to go being openly gay. People tolerate gays. The underlying hatred still exists as people refuse services and openly spew out hatred towards gays publicly.
I’m contemplating moving, however this country is becoming incredibly unstable and I fear will become a “modern dictatorship with democratic-based influence,” with Trump as the dictator. Where will we as openly gay men be safe? When will it be OK to be upfront to people about our sexual preference everywhere in this progressive country?
I’ve been exposed to a whole new world and I will say, I’m glad to have learned, however, I cannot believe how opposite two states, in the same country can be. Be aware of your surroundings, no matter where you are, and use those hot muscles, that are so in right now, when necessary. We are men and should be feared when provoked. Remember times when the gay community was tight-knit, aware, direct and proactive and why. We prevailed and overcame obsticales then. We can if we stop being afraid and remaining silent, cutoff hermits, which is easy these days.
Look how much our country has changed toward us with Trump in office and the Republicans leading the house and Senate. Scary hateful times are brewing. I cannot believe the story written above about the Colorado clerk. I never would have thought in such a modern blue state. I’m astonished. I hope formal charges were not brought up against him, ultimately affecting his status in the military.
Note. I was born and raised in a middle-class suburb between San diego, Palm Springs and LA, called Temecula, CA . I lived in southern California the majority of my adult life. I am 30 as of this year.
why would you want to give your business/money to anyone who didn’t want it? For 99% of The united states the only thing involved is “is it profitable” As a private business person I OFTEN do not do business with people for many reasons and many times I know after 2 min… “these are people I do not want to deal with” yes I fire customers… life is too short to allow someone I do not know to make me unhappy doing what I love to do… If I was a Baker I can think of many people I know that I would not want to bake a cake for gay & str8…
Some customers just are not worth having…
In this day and age I’d be surprised if anyone would refuse service to anyone based on anything considered “political” But I damn sure wouldn’t want to eat anything prepared by someone who did not like me…
Think about it… would you feel comfortable eating food ordered in a Berkeley Ca eatery wearing your Trump hat?
So. Your bf was called a fag. This gave him the right to commit a battery on said shit bird. Then take a soda, which he did not pay for? That constitutes a Robbery. That’s the way to get “rights” read to you.
His own actions make him no better than the gay bashers.
IMHO.
Greg you are correct. I never said he was innocent by any means. Two things that set him off is someone pointing at him (dad did it all the time growing up to him and still does it (yeah he has issues)) and someone calling him a fag. He doesn’t like being hated because he is gay. But your certainly not gonna say it to his face and get away with it. I did forget to mention he todsed a $5bill on the counter as he grabbed the cup. he knows better than to steal.
Fuck that restaurant! I wouldn’t step foot in that lousy place and hope the clerk that got punched got fired! He doesn’t deserve no damn pay check! He’s supposed to take people’s orders and ring them up, mind your own damn business you prick! Was he stupid?! Like if a muscled marine would just stand there and take that gay bashing insult lightly lmao!
This sounds like crap that happens in 3rd world countries where gay men can’t really hold holds or kiss in public, this is America damn it! The bible belt has seriously got to be the most backward place in this country.
The self loathing never ends here. I’ll never understand the mentality that would lead a person to argue passionately in favor of others discriminating against them. You guys certainly don’t have compassion if you’d leave rural gay people to starve should the only local grocer’s religious beliefs suggest. Disgusting.
In colorado there is a law on the books that applies to any business. “We reserved the right to refuse service to anyone.” That being said. When the reason is made clear and falls into a clearly discriminatory area, the law becomes null. The issue becomes denial of service due to discriminatory reasons. As people have the right to practice their religion of choice, one has to wonder, does the store in question state it is a “Christian Only,” establishment. If so, does that give it exclusionairy rights uner “Club Membership,” rules? The answer to both questions is no. The surpreme court failed in its job. This is a clear cut case of discrimination, not religious freedom. Christians, true Christians — do not discriminate against anyone. This is a baseline of their own religious doctrine, which I have to admit I have seen very few “Christians,” acknowledge or practice. Just a thought.