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Survey: Watching Porn When in a Relationship, Is It Cheating?

Say you are in a relationship; would you consider it cheating if your man/boyfriend/partner/ significant other/other half has a habit of watching porn (and jacking off to it)? Is this a deal breaker for you? Why or why not?

When I was younger, the thought of a boyfriend watching porn used to bother me (a little). But then one boyfriend played a porn video on our screen and we watched it together and you can guess what happened from there. You could say my views had changed a lot since then.

I wouldn’t go so far as to call it cheating but I do think SO watching porn would rankle at me if, first, we watch porn too much. It doesn’t matter if we watch it together; if it becomes a regular thing it would appear to me he can’t have sex with me without having to watch porn at the same time. If so, why would that be the case? And second, if he would rather watch porn and jack off to it while watching rather than have sex with me. I mean it does beg the question of why else does he need me around, don’t you think so too?

Anyway, what about you? Do you or don’t you see anything wrong with watching porn while in a relationship? Would you call it cheating? Why or why not? Share with us your thoughts and stories in the comments section below.

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There are 27 comments

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  1. Johnny D

    Like many of the questions posed on your blog, a lot has to do with ones level of insecurity. If you are secure and pretty confident, might not be a big deal. If you’re in the opposite spectrum, you might have an issue.

    • Phanteus

      I agree with Johnny D, its a spectrum, there are couples I know that evening THINKING about another person is cheating, then others are like, as long as they let each other know its fine. Then you have couple that have sex with different people but as long as there is no kissing its not cheating. If you just have sex with no emotional attachment its not cheating…etc. It depends on the couple. The truest answer is if you don’t get caught, its not cheating.

  2. Adam

    I don’t consider it to be cheating….however, it can become an addiction like anything else (drugs, alcohol, gambling). If your boyfriend/partner/husband is watching porn instead of having sex then there could be other issues. If it happens every now and then its no big deal. You can be in the mood to jerk off but not in the mood for penetration or have someone else involved, you just want some ‘alone time’

  3. a

    For me, it’s not cheating. However as long as the porn isn’t needed in order to perform or get aroused, I’m cool with it.

    I think that it would be hotter if my partner and I recorded our own. 🙂

  4. Jr.

    No i dont consider it cheating,but i had a ex-bf who was addicted to watching porn it caused him erectile dysfunction with all his lovers an ruined their sexual relationship.He would say”sorry i cum already watchin porn”.

  5. Tancredo Buff

    No, it’s not cheating. My mate and I have been together for 15 years and give space to each other to explore. Sometimes we watch porn together. He even have watched the one I have done.

  6. Sam

    The short answer is that anything you hide from your partner is cheating.

    If your partner is watching porn and you’re stewing about it in silence, you are the problem.

    If your partner is watching porn and you offer him sex and he’d rather jerk off to porn…its time to dump his ass.

    If he’s watching porn and jerking at a time when you don’t feel like sex, what’s the problem?

  7. Jer

    No watching porn isn’t unless you’re f*cking the Pornstars too

    But threesomes and group sex and “open relationships” or my favorite “committed” but “play with others”
    First of all playing isn’t sex . Playing doesn’t involve penis inserting in somewhere or other sexual whatever’s
    Bre . I don’t recall ever hearing in a relationship or marriage where true simple commitment to one other person ever said .. uh go ahead and f*ck others if you want .. look up Commitment … nope.. y’all gay men can try and spin this any way you think to try to justify it .. THATS STILL CHEATING .. regardless of your so called – set up

  8. Jeffery

    I would myself not call it cheating for the simple fact that some guys sex drive is greater than others. If your partner doesn’t want to have sex then I would rather have him jack off to porn than to seek out someone who would take care of his needs. I have a high sex drive and I occasionally watch porn to satisfy myself when my partner is not in the mood and he is fine with it.

  9. Rob

    Hell no…it’s hot. Sex with one person can get a little mundane so jacking to porn allows you and your partner some spice without the real meat. Jerk on my friends.

  10. R

    If it gets him excited for when we’re together, or if he uses it as an outlet for when he’s overly horny (not wanting to pester me or use me as his selfish sex object), or if he just likes it the way some guys like action movies, then it’s not cheating.
    Anything that deliberately diverts energy from our association, either to avoid being with me or to entice someone else or to shift his bond to someone else, is cheating. Generic porn isn’t cheating. Video chatting with a nude model is cheating. Watching a nude review isn’t cheating. Getting a lap dance from a favorite stripper is cheating. Basically, “replacing” me or giving that special interest to some other person, is cheating. Anything else is just whetting his ardor for when we’re together.
    But if he always has to get stimulus from somewhere else before being with me, something needs to be solved, which is a whole different discussion.

  11. Joe

    Cheating no, I watch and jack off daily. It doesn’t take away from having sex with my wife. However it does sometimes interfere getting rimmed or BJ from guys being it’s more convenient to watch porn.

    Funny thing though, right after you ask about cheating watching porn. You inform us of porn sites offering discounts. Lmao.

  12. Natesillyo

    I don’t view this as cheating at all. We all have eyes and attractions your not gonna only find your partner alone attractive. Plus some people have fetishes and fantasies that their partner may not be in to. That’s the safest way to achieve fantasy’s without physically cheating if you ask me.

  13. JD

    I’d like to think this is something that should be discussed and agreed to between partners, but I also know how unlikely that is. If your partner is more highly sexual than you are, this might simply be a way for him to have extra release and for many that includes relieving stress, perhaps even a healthier way to release anger and not have him take it out on you during sex, unless of course, you like it rough.
    I think it really has also to do with your agreement about what kind of relationship you are having. If you have an open relationship than this is just like hooking up with someone else – Only Sex. If, on the other had you have agreed to complete monogamy, then yes, this might be considered cheating. Ideally, I think it would be great to have an agreement with boundaries set, so each person knows what to expect and what to be held accountable for.
    My previous relationship was open almost the whole time (as well as 3-ways) and it lasted 14 years, so I think we had a pretty good run and though never discussed, we both watched porn and jacked off on our own and it was never and issue. Sometimes I think we all like to just get off in our own way and not have to perform or live up to anyone’s expectations. It’s human nature just to get that excess Cum out.

  14. less

    well, if it starts to interferes with the other partners sexual appetite..then yes its a problem. in a relationship. sex 2 times a week, day in between to re charge..how much time is ther?

  15. HunterWI

    Is it “cheating”? No. That’s for insecure women to think.

    Is it a problem? Yes or no depending upon whether a guy is getting all or most of his sexual gratification from video. When video replaces human interaction, there’s a problem. When it augments it, no.

  16. Michael

    As long as it adds to you relationship and doesn’t sideline your sex or the relationship what’s wrong then. But if you or him prefer watching and getting off and not getting into lots of fun with your partner then there is a problem.

  17. Matt

    If you’re with someone who thinks porn is cheating. Drop them because they are likely to be controlling narcissists.

  18. JM

    Cheating? No way is it cheating. Actually watching porn along with having sex with each other is exciting for both of us. I go quite frequently to an adult arcade with him, watch the porn as we suck and fuck with each other. I also give him porn videos to watch either alone or together. But then we have an open relationship. We both agree we can see anyone we wish, have sex with whom ever and still we remain lovers.

  19. oral4oral

    that logic would i expect a woman to throw at you, since most are very anti-porn because of their sheltered views that others had about porn. actually porn is a good alternative to have a satisfying encounter without having to put yourself in a situtation that is wrong and extremely disrespectful to your partner. and 90% of the time a person winds up getting caught and loses both in the process. if you have a truely open relationship and both are completely honest on the issue and ok with it. then that’s fine, but even then if people say they are ok with it,deep inside they really are not and only go along with it because they feel if they shared their true feelings about it, their partner would leave the relationship. we all know that at one time in our lives we have done something we probably shouldn’t of, and the end result was it cost you in the loss of that. as i became older i started to look at things not just from my perspective, but also of the other person you are involved with. you may not agree with their position but if you at least try to understand where they are coming from, it brings those things to light which may uncaring or selfish and if you wouldn’t want it done to you, why would you do it to another?

  20. Travis

    It’s not cheating in the physical sense BUT if it s a habit that becomes an addiction to the point u don’t have physical contact anymore w ur partner, it s cheating them out of a sex life w u.


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