News: Survey Reveals Racism is Still a Problem in The Gay Community
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We’d like to believe that we’re in a post-racial society, but that certainly isn’ the case. Even here in the gay community — which prides itself on openness — there are still profiles on gay dating apps with “no fats, no femmes, no Asians” right on top.
It’s not just on the dating apps, though. In a survey conducted by the Fact Site — a health and life advice site published by the United Kingdom’s The Health Equality and Rights Organization (HERO) — two-thirds of the 850 minority respondents report experiencing racism in the gay scene.
Broken down into different ethnicities, the survey revealed that 80% of Black guys, 79% of Asian guys, 75% of South Asian guys, 64% of mixed race guys, and “most” of the Arab guys who participated in the survey have experienced racism in Britain’s gay scene.
In fact, for 63% of the black and South Asian men who participated in the survey, racism is a bigger issue in their lives than homophobia. It’s not hard to see why. According to Shabbs, a 31-year old South Asian man, he was subjected to prejudice even at a gay pride event.
“Going to a gay pride event and hearing racist comments from gay men directed towards you makes you feel unwelcome in a community you want to be a part of,” he says. “I’d rather be somewhere that’s homophobic than somewhere that is racist, because I can pretend I’m straight. I can’t pretend to be a different skin color or race. So racism is a bigger issue for me.”
Racism on Gay Apps
The report points out gay dating apps as a “prime vehicle for sexual racism”. Profiles openly state “White only” or “no chocolate, rice, or spice.”
Shabbs says he has gotten used to it. “I just wait for guys to approach me on apps, so I don’t have to deal with any of the possible hateful/hurting comments if I was approaching someone.”
While some don’t see being ignored on gay daring apps as an example of racism, they do draw the line on profiles that outright refuse anyone because of their race.
“I guess if you are not into Asians, you just aren’t — and there’s no point in time-wasting,” explains Alex, a 28-year old Asian guy from London. “However, it’s intolerable if this involves explicit categorical refusal on racial grounds, e.g. ‘I’m not into Blacks’; ‘no fem no rice only muscle’ on the apps as profile statements.”
Sexualization and Objectification
Black and Asian men also find themselves subjected to stereotypes that objectify and demean them. According to the survey, 82% of the Black participants feel sexualized or objectified by white men.
Martin, a 26-year old Black man from London, has had dates that tell him things like “my little Black boy, I love the taste of your Black skin”, “yes my little n****r, suck this white daddy.”
Thirty-nine-year old South East Asian Ari has experienced being at the receiving end of objectification as well.
“Some older white males think that as they are showing us attention, then I should be grateful. Some younger white males think that I am a submissive bottom and my cock is small,” he shares. “I am neither of those, and I hate having to put up with this level of ignorance. People think by saying this type of nonsense they are being honest, but it just shows how rude and inappropriate they are.”
The Need for Representation
The survey also asked participants to rank each ethnic group in terms of attractiveness. “White” ranked first almost among all ethnicities. The only ethnicities were “white” didn’t rank first was among Black and mixed race guys, who ranked “mixed race” first and “white” second.
Author and diversity consultant Vernal Scott points to the lack of minority representation in media as the culprit behind these lopsided results.
“White guys have greater visibility in the media and their attributes, success and sex appeal is much more in our faces,” he says. “Frankly, it is still rare to see ethnic gay men in the media, and you never hear about our successes outside of music and the arts.”
Matthew Hodson of the charitable organization Gay Men Fighting AIDS (GMFA) agrees.
““If all we see on the covers of magazines, in movies and adverts is just a very specific set of physical types, it’s not surprising that we take this on board in some way,” he explains. “Just do an image search for ‘hot gay men’ – you’ll need to scroll down some way before you come across anyone who isn’t white, even further to find an image of someone Asian. It’s not necessarily the case that the same race-based preferences will be reflected in other cultures.”
Hodson calls on the community to treat each other with respect, considering that the LGBTQ community is itself a target of discrimination.
““I don’t know that the gay community is any more racist than any other section of society, but it’s clear that there are some people on the scene who hold vile and completely unacceptable views,” he says. “As gay men we all know what it’s like to be marginalised, to be outsiders and members of a minority. We’ve all experienced prejudice and discrimination first hand. It’s sad and pathetic that we still inflict the same on other members of our community.”
What do you guys think of the survey findings? While this was conducted in the United Kingdom, do you think the situation is the same in the United States or the rest of North America? Share your thoughts with us in the comments section below.
I can tell you my city is plagued by gun violence and most of it comes from the af-am community. it does make me nervous and avoid certain parts of town and the people who come from them.
I find it interesting that you automatically point the finger at the Af-American communities in your neighbourhood. What does this have to do with us being attractive or not? Just because we come from a tough area doesn’t make us all bad. Sucks that you generalise all of us in bad neighbourhoods like that… I am from the Homicidal capital of the country and you know what, I am a college graduate, I speak 6 languages fluently, and I am a professional Musician. I know about 50 (Yes 50!) of us that have made it. Sorry that mommy and daddy didn’t raise us in suburbia or with money like you had the privilege like yourself. I guess I am unattractive because of that too…
Racism the gay community? Racism is alive everywhere, in every community.
This should be no surprise to anyone though. The gay community is one of the biggest discriminatory groups of society I’ve ever encountered. There are more ways to shame someone, and 101 labels for what people see you as. It’s like high school all over again. And the big muscle jocks are the cool kids everyone wants to be and are used as a forefront image of what it means to be gay.
That couldnt be said any better.
If fact, even this site promotes this stereotype in their advertising, and links to the adult porn industry.
When was the last time anyone saw a link or cover shot of someone over 40 and buff or above average weight? You don’t because tight ripped bodies and the young look sell, and you sell what makes you big money, over what may just pay the bills.
It would seem to me that the American Gay scene is no more free of this then any other. To put it bluntly, you get back what you promote, be it racism, ageism, body stereotypes et al.
Life is a mirror and we are the reflection there in.
Carl, I agree. I could not have said that any better.
I totally agree racism is a huge problem in the gay community simply because a lot guys are taught growing up to dislike other races. I cant change my skin color and besides, I am proud to be who I am. We have to realize that God did not make everyone the same color or make everyone alike; otherwise, life would be boring. We should appreciate and celebrate the differences we have; instead of tearing each other apart. We cant make strides in the gay community if we cant come together as a one without the hate for each other. This is 2017. We should be past color by now.
One would think we would but we are still here in this bs…
Hmmm, it’s alright for the straights to be specific on who they will date and have relations with but not gays??? Catholics only want catholics, Mormons only want Mormons, most whites only want whites, and on and on. Just because we are gay does not take away our personal desire on whom we choose to associate with. On the other hand, diplomacy and graciousness seems to be gone for many of the gays. There is a good way to states ones preferences, however, the queenie nature of too many gays is simply insulting.
There’s a difference between a “preferences” and categorically denying and entire group of people based on an innate characteristic. Kinda like people who think marriage is between a man and a woman and those who would actively work to EXCLUDE gay people having access to it. But at least we know you are racist to be avoided.
I can’t tell if you’re a moron or if you’re just so desperate to justify your racism that you’re grasping at any straw you can find.
It’s racist when straight people do it too, dumdum. Ignore my lack of graciousness and diplomacy, but it’s my preference to call you a dumdum for your dumdum comments
I can ONLY respond through the lens/POV of a Black Bi male so make sure you keep that in mind while reading my response. While my comment has strong language, I also ask that you respectfully not render my response as another “Angry Black Man” rant, thank you.
Racism in the LGBTQ communities…and water is wet. Y’all keep dragging this discussion out of moth balls (especially during “Pride” season) as if it’s late-breaking news. For other racially, culturally and socially conscious Black SGL/Bi men this is NOT news.
This will NEVER change because as much as it is discussed, Blacks are STILL viewed as the “exotic other” to be pitied and brought into the white gay fold….Quid pro quo we go along with the program.
Just on this site alone, you see images of Black gay men portrayed and labeled as hardcore ghetto ‘thugs’, ‘criminals’ and sexual objects being sucked and fucked on rooftops and stairwells by white cops. These damaging and negative narratives are marketed to white gays and white gay culturally assimilated POC, not to culturally and racially conscious Black SGL/Bi men.
The A4A blog features force focus on White gay culture with little to no diversity of stories RELEVANT to other racial groups. It seems that no thought or care goes into how any of this makes Black gay men look or feel- it’s whatever,right? No positive affirming articles that feature INTRAracial relationships, Black-centric topics, and Black culture.
Black gay culture is heavily co-opted and watered down with no love or eespect towards those folks from where it originated; everyone loves acting/being Black until it’s time to BE Black.
To effectively eradicate racism, promote REAL diversity by featuring the aforementioned items to allow white guys to see the world isn’t theirs alone and the narratives being perpetuated are falsehoods to sell a product but NOT to the people being objectified.
*YAWN*
Talk to me about racism in the LGBT communities when you’re not looking for blog grabs and actually done something proactive.
Wow,,nicely put,im a tiny fem guy,i objectfy blk men,,but only as the gods they are individually,raceizm isnt only blk n white,,im discriminated by both straight n gay men,,why,because im fem..
Please, please, please tell me you’re somehow involve in writing. I say this because I can faintly hear the strong echoes of Baldwin and Hughes in your post. Simply brilliant.
Well penned bud
ALL of this!
Well stated.
Very well said,
Racism isn’t the only problem in the gay community. Sexism is a larger problem.
On this site probably less than 1 % would consider marrying a woman simply because she is female.
What’s your research source citation on the 1%?
How can anyone don’t like asians. I’m a Mexican and i love asians. But we all have our preference. I dont like hairy men, am I prejudice? I dont like black hung men am I prejudice? No, because I cant physically handle it so it wont pleasure for him or I. Some of us don’t like Fems come on, would you like to be out with Frankie Grande? I don’t like Klingons
New study also says, “the only ones claiming racism are predominantly white guys that are mad that black guys arent interested in them.”
If I had $1 for everytime i was called “racist” because i said “not interested” to a whige guy id probably have about $137. Funny these types go from “ill $uck you off” to “f u, racist n-word” when told youre not interested in them, but some how im the racist…yea ok…
I dunno. I was raised in a subtly (sometimes not so subtly) racist home by parents from one of the reddest Red States, but in sunny (& hypocritical) Southern California.
I’ve spent most of my cognitive life enjoying the company of friends and, in adulthood for the most part, actively trying to be inclusive of people who don’t look like me. Part of that might be my rebellious nature proving my parents wrong and part of it is that I like people in general. I still carry “ist” baggage of various sizes & types, though and it takes a conscious effort to overcome some of it.
My A4A profile says “…it’s about what we do together, not who we are…” and to a certain extent that in itself is objectification – I’m looking for a sex partner – even if it’s not based on skin tone, ancestry or national origin, etc. Is it as morally offensive as other forms of prejudice or objectification? I don’t think so but that is based on my ethics, scruples and morality. To paraphrase Rodney King, can’t we all just fuck around?
There are interesting, hot, boring, funky, fun, serious, crazy and sane men in all colors, shapes, sizes and presentations. I suggest finding reasonable sane guys. The package they come in is just a part of who they are.
is “not” find black or ethnic guy sexually attractive considered racism I typically am drawn to blondes and redheads fairest skin swimmers builds around my age not into older not into younger I find a lot of times when sexual attraction is involved certain groups certain people play the race card or the agest card
i saw a black guy once here n kcmo he had a tool tshirt on i said hi “because we like same band be a good conversation starter an 99.99 of my friends listen to Britney Spears share and Justin Bieber it would be nice to assign somebody has a friend who’s in the rock his instant replay “i dont fuck white boys!!” lol I thought it was kind of ironic me just saying hello was an invitation in his mind to stick his dick in me he didn’t even know if I was a top or bottom I think way too many or sensitive when they get turned down they start playing all these reasons why the person is bad when sometimes it’s just a matter of timing connection and sexual attraction nothing more lol
I don’t believe this is racist. Some types of guys just aren’t attractive and some guys just aren’t attracted, as much as we’d like to force/delude ourselves into believing. I mean if some race T guy that wasn’t into race A tried desperately to find himself with race A and he can’t get it up simply because the Race A guy is not attractive in his eyes, then that would just make it VERY awkward and now you have to guys that are down and out. A guy that seems racist, and a guy who FOR SURE knows he’s not attractive. Following this “logic” as well then, homosexual men are sexist and misogynists simply because we do not find women attractive. If forcing people to be attracted to people they aren’t already-works, then so would conversion therapy. So basically the answer to “sexual racism” is rape culture is what all these narratives would suggest! How progressive and forward thinking! I do not doubt for a second that racism exists in the gay community, as it exists everywhere. But not being attracted to a guy of race a/b/c/d/etc. is not inherently racist unless they go out of their way to state such as some of the quoted above. “Sorry, I’m not interested in race z”; not racist. “OMG, eww, race z, gross! I bet you’re tainted and do that thing and smell that race z way”; that is actually racist.
I would have to AGREE! It’s really SAD that we as ethnic men/women are facing this w/in our own community. The RAINBOW FLAG is suppose to be a representation of LOVE for all people regardless of being Gay, Straight,BI, Transgender, etc…. In the USA, RACISM among ethnics have been going on for a VERY and I mean VERY LONG TIME.
I read many profiles that says “whites” only, No blacks or Asians, etc. What have we done to white people for them to hate us so much?? The MEDIA is a big cause of this since we as people see on TV, magazines,movies etc our fellow “whites’ and once in a while they put your ethnic person in the forefront. AGAIN… SAD!
We CAN’T change our skin complexion but what “WE” as a people can do is change our perception and look at the person, get to know the person and not look at them for being a different color then them. I feel that we “MISS” out on LOVE and Friendships when we are being close minded .
I really want to THANK U for bringing some light into the RACISM in the gay community. PLEASE DO MORE and show the love between interracial couples, friends etc.
Allow that to be the focus so people can see that LOVE and FRIENDSHIPS have no color barriers. Show the careers of professional men and woman and give us ethnic people the exposure that we deserve as well..
Thank u…
Wow…..this made my stomach turn. As a Black man, state-side, I’ve definitely experienced the objectification and inappropriate remarks from strangers. I also just saw a [Black] friend’s status about this on Facebook two days ago. The gay scene in NYC is out of control right now. I’ve heard talk of predominantly white establishments refusing people of color and now just from a couple of people. I believe there are news articles about it. I’ve gone to some of these clubs and I’ve never felt so uncomfortable. Everything from hearing jokes about my blonde hair whispered behind me to being physically pushed so that someone can get by. I just don’t get it.
Not* from a couple of people
Racism is very much a issue in the gay community. The racism within your own culture, too light or too dark and outside your culture. I had one person who viewed my profile pic say that I was a white man trying to be Black. Really ?
MMMM … some HOT BLACK DICK …. does that make me racist?
Yes, your comment would be considered racist, unless you’re also African American.
I know this is an old post, but I still don’t really understand why guys are racist until it comes to sucking a black cock. I have no problem with any race or nationality. To explain things though, my BF/lover/best friend/partner is black and I am white, and so what. I don’t love him because of his cock. I love him for whom he is. Neither of us care what colors our skin is. I know many black guys have large cocks, well so what. My BFs cock is just a normal everyday cock, nothing special, but it’s his, and that’s what counts. He probably knows more about me and I know more about him than our families do. There isn’t much we don’t share, being it our lives, jobs, families, activities, etc. But when one is in a great relationship, trust and care about each other is the key. What makes me quite upset is that white people in general don’t trust black people, and I’m sure it works the other way as well. Sure there are “bad” people in every race, but don’t stereotype them. My BFs cock was never the reason we get along so well. It’s the trust, caring, love, common interests, that brought us together.
Honestly not surprised. As a black male you see on profiles all the time laundry lists of what someone doesn’t want. When you find someone interested in you they want to start off inquiring if you have a big black cock. That gets old quickly. If you’re not attracted to someone that’s fine but don’t generalize entire ethnicities you never know what you are missing out on.
I’ll give you that some of the words used could be racist, but what does someone’s attraction to only white men have to do with racism? It’s a preference, just like searching out a certain look.
I agree..there is a level of racism in the gay community..it’s all well and good that people have their preferences of who/what they are attracted to..but in social gatherings its so easy to see the cliques..I will be travelling soon and in chatting with some A4A members I’m yet to find a black / minority man who can tell me where he would go to hang out / meet guys..common remarks are that they are tired of the scene or they go party at a friends house..so is it only the Whites / Europeans / Asians and a couple Latinos that care to go spend money at drinking establishments…how come ? AND at these said establishments you can count the number of minorities that work behind the bar on 2 fingers if even, which to me is sad because a whole demographic is being missed out on to possibly attract a more varied clientele..so unless you are really confident about yourself I can understand how minorities might feel somewhat intimidated going out..that plus the sexual objectification as mentioned by guys just hung up on the idea of seducing big black cocks or smaller submissive stereotypes..I actually sometimes go to the straight clubs just to get a break from the one note scene downtown.
I have found that members of the gay community can be just as racist and bigoted and ignorant, as well as arrogant and exclusive as any other group of people. Being HIV + is another story altogether. Most of the time I just want to give up on gay men.
If we go gay nightclub, there is obviously racist place
I used to believe people are people and you should be open to other races, with the years i learned to keep on my group, do not waste your time with other ethnic gay group, it is easier and you will not deal with their stupidity, now i only have my own group, it works beautifully. Gay community is extremally racist until they see a black dick…..
Oh YES, I encounter it EVERY day still……. no more to say.
There is a difference between being racist and having a preference. If one does not want any kind of social interaction or dealing with someone because of their race that would be considered racist. If one does not find members of a particular race sexually attractive that is a preference similar to not being attracted to excessively over weight guys, older guys, effeminate guys, etc. I don’t consider that racist.
I completely agree with you.
I love black men and have been in long term relationships with men of color.
The problem is in my city , the black men are asking for money & parTy.
Sadly, I think the same is true in The States, maybe even a tad worse. As a gay person of color, I found it interesting (and a little sad) that the minority groups polled ranked white as most desirable despite the racism they’ve experienced, which is presumably coming mostly from white LGBT people. Seems like racism should be a pretty off-putting flaw – a definite deal-breaker. Even for the respondents that ranked “mixed race” as number one, I bet you those mixes include some type of European heritage. The idea that it’s okay to make light a priority as long as it’s not fully white is quite common among gay POC and still totally plays into white supremacy. Lots of times, I find it seems POC like these respondents are a bit guilty of the same bias that is mostly behind racism directed towards them. LGBT white people are definitely more visible, but it also seems like knowing that would inspire more pro-color interest among more LGBT POC. I think everyone’s a little “guilty” in this situation, which is probably why the issue remains no matter how frequently we discuss it. Our perceptions of ourselves tend to be a bit different from what exists in reality. It’s rather uncommon to hear a gay white guy admit he’s a racist, or to hear a black or Asian guy admit he has some self-loathing issues that may be making them even more vulnerable to racism. Very few people can admit to any darkness inside them, regardless of race. This community is very critical of any differences (color, weight, effeminacy, HIV status, age, etc., etc., etc.). Just because a community prides itself on being “open-minded” doesn’t mean it is “open-minded”.
Reminds me of the reader board that used to be outside the Emerald Club in Boise Idaho. until the day it closed.
For decades it read “Straight Friendly”.
I guess one could assume if the sign wasn’t there, the place would be considered, “Straight Hateful” right?
Why should anyone assume that within any group, all the other issues would not be part of the total make up of the full image.
So as a “Bi” black male, I can see what some are saying. While many ads probably are coming from a racist slant, I think many of us n this PC world seek out being offended. I’ve been called racist because I don’t mess white women to hot. ESPECIALLY those who try to “act” black. Also was called racist by a big hairy guy even though I told him I’m only into slim and fem guys regardless of race. I think it’s easier for someoneto think you’re racist than accept you don’t want to fuck them.
This is absolutely the case and I completely agree with you. With PC culture comes the absurd level of entitlement. People need to understand that they aren’t a match for everybody, and that doesn’t make them racist not whatever-ist, is the hot one of the hour!
Outside of an attraction for the same sex as yourself “our community” is very diverse. Gay was initially understood as all inclusive of man on man. Lesbian was always understood as woman on woman. Some same sex woman consider themselves as gay woman in the context of same sex attraction regardless of the male / female difference.
Then we had LGBT. Ok, that is trying to be all inclusive. Now folks want to make it LGBT AND Q. Is that really necessary? What I am trying to say here is that the community keeps looking for specific terminologies rather than an all inclusive one. And this is akin to saying “I am same sex oriented but not that.” Whatever! We are making our own divisions rather than unifications. Are we being uninclusive if we don’t add latters for S&M or B&D and so on etc.? Alphabet soup!
We come in all types. colors, and ethnicity. I am all for celebrating our individual back grounds, but that needs to be second to what it is that unifies. Too often in America we see people identifying as a particular ethnic group rather than American first. And many of these people were not born elsewhere to begin with.
When it comes to sex and what turns a person on is their own business. If tall is your thing than short won’t exactly do it. Is that prejudice against short people? It doesn’t necessarily mean that you HATE short people, you just are turned on by longer legs! But if a person says they are not into a particular variety everyone wants to yell prejudice.
Then we get to hear about some people feeling objectified. Maybe sometimes they are, but I suspect not as often as they shout. Maybe a white man just gets turned on by darker skin and so he goes after Blacks or Latinos. The same guy might really be into other whites with deep sun tans.
I really wish some people could just chill out! If your face or body is not someone’s sexual turn on does it also follow that the same person would not want that type living next door to them? Not always! Then there are other distinctions between educational and financial classes.
We know racism (or other prejudice) when we see it. I think people need to stop playing that card. Enough already!
And just for the record: I am a 3rd generation Native NYer who was raised alongside all varieties of people and class distinctions. I don’t care who lives next door to me as long as they are clean, quiet and respectful. Is that ok or will you say I have a problem too?
Oh..? Because Black people SAYING it all this time wasn’t enough? Lol. Of course not. We had to wait for some “survey or “study” to validate our LIVED EXPERIENCE before anybody hears a word we say. This whole post is a joke.
Lol, you don’t need to have a survey to realize that in this society. It’s been alive and well in the gay community for decades just like straight communities. Ask any person of color such as myself and they will laugh at this like I did. We never stop getting profiled or stereotyped in the gay or straight community. Side note: I’ve never understood gay skin heads…it goes against the skinhead code…
Racism will always be around because parents and grand parents taught and still teach this to the young. take a half dozen kids of all colors and don’t bother them while they have toys in a sand box and they will all get along.
Also as long as there are race questions on applications and the media always making points about what color someone is while doing their news story then it will never end no matter what. Personally if I like the guy and his personality is nice then I don’t care what color he is because in the end we all bleed the same.
Take a year without any news media mentioning the color of people and see where we are at that time and I would bet racism would not be as high as it is now
The ” GAY COMMUNITY ” is vicious , vile , venomous men. Here in the NYC Area I see a lot of discrimination towards the Caucasian men.
No Whites
No Crackers
N-Word Brothers Only.
Seriously??
There’s no need for this Racial Bigoted Attitutes. We all need to respond graciously to men of ALL colors, shapes and sizes. It’s the right thing to do.
DECLINE WITH DIGNITY. IS THE WAY TO GO.
Uhh, excuse me! You can’t be racist towards whites! Racism requires institutional power and privilege. So all white people are responsible for slavery and the conquering of indigenous peoples and were never in a position of oppression, scrutiny, nor chastity. As long as that is a part of history whites can never experience racism and therefore they have absolutely no say in this, white people don’t get to choose who they find attractive. Anybody who suggests so is clearly a racist white devil KKK worshipper trying to look like a victim which only PoC can be.
Not being attracted to certain minorities is not racist just as not being attracted to women is not misogynist. Seriously… get over it. Everyone likes (or thinks they like) different things. Let people be who they are for a change. (Isn’t that what they gay people tell the religious people, by the way? Well it goes both ways there, too.)
The problem isn’t one of racial intolerance mislabeled as racism. The problem is guys who tune out everyone else they claim to not be attracted to because they’re overly focused on finding their next uber-sexy hookup or the perfect man to date. That is very self-centered and childish, in my book.
I think this is a real problem, people can’t accept each other for who they are in the LGBT community, it is so sad but yet we say we are fighting for our rights. Start loving in the LGBT community and other people will start loving for they are
“Still?” HAHA! It’s more blatant now with the Millennials than ever before, and I’ve been around a long, LONG time.
How ironic that ADAM4ADAM should post an article about racism in the gay community, while the site continues to feature porn where white cops force black men to have sex in degrading ways. I believe this is what is referred to as “moral hypocrisy”.
Hey, this site is not about white police and black men, it’s a bout Police and civilians (all colors)… Some officers are black and latinos too and some civilians are white too… So no we’re not hypocrites, we sell porn on A4A to keep the site running, because if you noticed, A4A is free and porn pays for all the bills.
Racism is a disease that unfortunately is in the gay community. But I do not think that this is as pervasive as we would think. We as a society tend to focus on the negative more than the positive. I believe that you are always going to have stupid ignorant people who think anything other than white is not good enough. That isn’t their fault, but they can’t actively stay in that belief. Their is a long conditioning that white men started to say that they are better than other men. Slavery was racialized over 200 years with all countries during the slave trade. So clearly many people culturally grew up thinking that anything black or brown wasn’t as good as white. It has taken decades to fight this racism. The more enlighten and educated people have become the more aware we are that every race has value and should be desired. It doesn’t mean that you can’t have preferences in who you are attracted to for companionship. But it is not okay to put down another race in your expression of your preference. Those who do that only show how they desire to be superior over someone else by rejecting them. As with every racist, they are showing you that they are really weak. A strong confident person isn’t intimidated by someone else’s race. Gay people are just as insecure as the rest of the world, so why would they be different? You would think they would remember what it was like to be picked out for being different. You would think that those events would birth compassion for their fellow humankind. But that would be asking them to be above the rest of humankind. There are good people out there who are learning to be confident and not racist. Its a cultural shift that continues everyday. After all, look how long its taken blacks the real right to vote. Its only been about 52 years for blacks to vote without real problems. All due to racism. Its going away and progress is being made. The gay community will lead us out of racism because it doesn’t have a choice. No one else is going to care as much and do anything about it. Lets see that article about that progress soon.
If you get my dick hard I will fuck you. If you don’t get my dick hard I won’t. If you happen to be black and I am not physically attracted to you I’m sorry, if you happen to be fat and I’m not attracted to you im sorry, if you happen to be a woman and I’m not attracted to you I’m sorry. If I am not attracted to you I will not have sex with you. Friendship sure if we click. But the reason I am gay is because I am not attracted to women, if I shouldn’t be shamed for not being attracted to women why should I be shamed for not being attracted to a certain kind of guy. As a gay community we claim “just because you are a guy doesn’t mean I am attracted to you” but a lot of today’s society is now making it like if I am not attracted to every guy I’m racist, agist, ablist, body shaming, elitist, or something like this. Dude I can’t make my dick rise for a woman sorry I can’t do it for you.
What is the big deal if your not into black guys or Asians ? You’re supposed to be sexually into all races? Give me a break with this shit. It’s just a preference . It doesn’t make you racist.
Ok, lets be real here. It is not racist to say: “I really just prefer (insert ethnicity or skin color here).” If you want to know if youre racist heres a easy test: imagine you met somebody who shares 95% of youre interests, whatever they may be. They also seem to share your philosophy on life, politics, family, social attitudes, etc… Now imagine this person is of a race or ethnicity you aren’t normally attracted to; would you still be friends with them? If you answered anything but yes, you may want to reevaluate your attitude towards race. It doesn’t mean youre a bad person, necessarily, it just means that you have a bias, cognative or otherwise, against people who are of that race.
It is racist to say shit like: “no jungle bunnies, camel jockies, or rice queens.” In your profile. You may have a preference for a certian race or ethnicity, and thats fine, but there is absolutely no good reason to be an asshole about it.
Why is it that every time one of these “studies” come out the comments are filled with men(most likely white racists) who seem to confuse the ideas of preference and prejudice?
Preference: a desire or compulsion that leads to attraction to someone based on their physical characteristics.
Prejudice: a belief that anyone who fits in a category is immediately considered unattractive for reasons.
A preference is liking blondes, and that preference includes a willingness to fuck a brunet or red head if that person is moderately attractive.
A prejudice is deciding that(because your ex was blond and he hurt you bad) that all blondes from here to eternity are immediately ugly and untrustworthy.
It’s ridiculous to automatically assume that people of ANY group are immediately unattractive or dangerous without a common experience. I am a large black male who enjoys the “pleasurable” company of other men; that doesn’t mean I’m a dom daddy too who goes thugged out wherever I am. And it’s prejudicial to assume that A) I am or B) anyone who DOES dress and act that way is dangerous
The gay community is racist???
And water is wet.
For all those that want to cry “preference,” that doesn’t excuse your racist behavior. Gay, bi, or straight, people come in all sorts of shapes, sizes, cultures, and features no matter WHAT their race. If a person told you that he wasn’t into white guys because “they all look and act the same,” would you not take offense to that? Of course you would. It’s OK to genuinely have preferences, but categorizing an entire race into a “preference” is racist because you’re dehumanizing them as a collective group with no individuality. As LGBT men, doesn’t that sound just a tad bit fucking familiar?
This survey seems to have forgotten the biggest minority of all. Older gay men. As an older dark skinned gay male in NYC, I have no chance of meeting almost no one when I go out for beers at the bars. And online, it’s just as bad. Some of the hateful comments I get are very discouraging. I hate to say it, but one gets accustomed to it. I feel it’s worse now then before. Gay vet’s get no respect. We were fighting on the front line for all that the young now have.
this subject is a joke
i see profiles of non-whites on a4a daily that state a preference for non-white.
but this is ok?
why cant someone not want to have sex or date anyone from a certain race or ethnicity? It just is that way, and people have attractions that they cant control…either is there or it isnt.
so sick of this race thing
Two words: Black Pride.
Racist much?
Explain how being proud of being black is different from Irish or Italian pride. Or even better given your name, HISPANIC ( insert your particular background, Mexican, Dominican, etc)? Why do people find it racist for black people to have pride in themselves, yet deem it ok for them to say it?
How can an entire race of people be unattractive? Do all of these people look the same? Fuck off guys. What everyone really means when they say I’m not into Asians or I’m not into blacks is basically because of your race and the features associated with your race and preconceived notions i.e. stereotypes I deem you to be unattractive. Using someone’s race to justify your backwards mindset and negate their selfworth is fucked up. And I’m sorry if u haven’t taken the time to sit and ponder hmmm what is it about Asians or African Americans, Hispanics-(none of who are not some monolithic entity btw) that I find unattractive across the board and realized whatever answer u came up with is inherently prejudiced, biased and racist i feel so bad for you.
Having Gross Anatomy (dissection of human cadavers) in college, I had exposure to white, black, male, female, fat, and thin; certainly gay, straight, atheist, and extremist; and everything in between. We all look alike. There is diversity at the genetic level, which is healthy. Hitler’s folly was the Arian race because pure-blood inbreeding creates mental and physical handicap seen not only in human but dogs, and all animals for that matter. Genetic diversity keeps humans viable and healthy. The issue is not as superficial as ‘race’.
The issue is belief. Profiles are like advertisements and whites ‘acting’ white or blacks ‘acting’ black, etc (for example; ‘thug looking for love’) are subtler self righteous proclamations seen as commonly as “No ” . . . both reflect beliefs taught by family heritage and culture. As long as blood runs thicker than water, eliminating racism is not a likely reality.
I am white, my white dad was a slave under Hitler in WWII and was brought to America as an indentured servant by a German family. Should I hate Germans, or love Germans? Neither! History teaches lessons, but family ingrains attitudes. My dad’s heritage is not mine. I am an American mutt born of Polish, Italian, Hungarian, and Ukrainian background. I’m not pure-blood, nobody is pure-blood. In my case water runs richer than blood; I am human.
How many schools and families teach their children to pursue, treasure, and celebrate diversity and humanity not family? Such a lesson goes against the grain of raising a family. I broke through heritage in gross anatomy class and gained respect for humanity from the cadavers from whom I had the privilege to learn. It is easy to include gross anatomy in grade school to teach children to change belief, eliminate racism, and make water run thicker than blood. I’m sure there are other ways to teach people to change belief. However, family or culture will disallow someone other than the family to change the belief of their children. Family and culture does not support teaching a change in belief.
So I generally prefer fem males of all races, does that mean I’m a sexist? I’m “bi” if you need a label, but am not really attracted to white women, so does that make me racist? I see white women on a daily basis that are beautiful and sexy. But attractive and ATTRACTION are two different things.
But for those who think they are superior over others because of their race, remember Matthew Shepherd wasn’t killed because he was white. He was killed because he like to fuck boys. Just a thought.
I once heard a poem that goes like this,
When they came for the Native Amer., I did not stand for him, because I am not Native amer., when they came for the African, I did not stand for him, because I am not African. When they came for the Asian, I did not stand for him, either, because I am not Asian, when they came for me, there was no one left to stand me, because ‘I’ stood for no one.
You have to decide, you and others whom look different than you but equally human, or, you can stand by, watching, until its your turn…
Unless, a meteor/nuke strikes and takes us all out, of the misery of hate, this will come to pass, just sayin’.
I believe that there is racism every where (which has already been stated). This country has never been more divided and at each others throats than we are right now – 2017 (probably the last time it was this bad was either civil war era – or civil rights era or both). I can’t speak for “the whole gay community” – I can only speak for myself – and for me – I think when I’m on a site like this, or any other site – or on a date – or whatever – I have to know for myself the difference between whether it’s preference – or racism. In my opinion, those two lines can be blurred and undefined. I also think a lot of it depends on the environment. It seems that a lot of the men on here are speaking specifically about apps – dating sites – etc, and their descriptions. Again, I can’t speak for everyone – but for me personally – if the heading says, “no blacks, no fems, no this or that” – well, that person just made my search a lot easier. I don’t know if that person is a “racist” or not because I don’t know that person personally – and because his heading says “no blacks” – we obviously aren’t going TO get to know each other. But then, there is the possibility that I could go out with someone who didn’t have preferences in their heading / or claims to be open – and then turns out to be a racist – or says inappropriate things.
In my opinion, I think all men have preferences – and tastes … and again, I think (for me anyway) the key is knowing whether or not those “preferences” are really preferences or racism … and that can be difficult to decipher … especially online – and with the anonymity of the internet.
Well I am kinda in the fence with this topic, I don’t completely agree with the racism thing in the LGBT community. I think its more of a matter of preference than racism I have friends who are LGBT, and that just what they are. Everybody aint for everybody when it comes to sex Just like my best friend, he is hot as fuck he is straight, but I don’t picture myself have a relationship, So I think the Britts may have gotten it right and have gotten it wrong at the same time, as stated I’m a slut, I don’t care what color you are if you breathing and the dick is hard instant stop drop and roll for me buddy, oh yezzzzzzir,
Since I do not engage in the “Gay Community” for my personal reasons … Please add Age Discrimination, too. It is sad to see the many gay men aging that I speak to, call themselves old and not worth a dime!
Racism is a alive in well in the gay community here in the US. I am a black man and live in Pittsburgh, PA. One day my ex partner who is white and 2 other whites guys went to a gay bar and they refuse to let me in without showing ID! I was in my 40″s! I was stunned! I refused to show any ID unless they has my partner and friends who were white also. I raised such noise that people were stunned that I was being singled out. They then let me in, but I never been back to lucky’s bar since.