Dating: Better Ways to Chat on Gay Apps
Whether you think it’s been a boon or bane to the dating scene, the fact of the matter is that social media and dating apps like Adam4Adam have become an inexorable part of how you get laid or get into a relationship in this day and age.
But while technology may have made moving things along quicker and easier, some thing remain the same — such as how they way you start a conversation can make or break your plans, whatever they may be. Just saying “hey” or “sex?” isn’t just going to cut it anymore.
Because we don’t want you to spend Valentine’s Day alone — it’s coming in a few weeks! — here’s some helpful suggestions on how to have an online conversation with that person you fancy.
1. If you’re just looking to get laid, add a photo. It’s become almost a maxim now: “You don’t go on (insert dating app here) to be in a relationship.” And there’s nothing wrong with that! But maybe don’t just start with “hey” or “sex?” or “looking?” By this time, you know you’re going to be asked for a photo. Be proactive and send one right off. And don’t send a dick pic unless it’s asked!
2. If you want to hook up with the same guy again, remind them how good it was the last time. If you’re aiming for a second hook-up, don’t be so cocky as to think that the guy’s just going to come running back to you as soon as you hit them with “hey”. Tack on something else to that “hey”, like “Last night was really great. If you ever wanna hook up again, feel free to message me.”
3. If you’re looking for a relationship, don’t make the other guy feel like a piece of meat. Let’s come clean about this — most of the time you only send “hey” because you’re mass-messaging a dozen other guys. If you’re messaging that many guys maybe you’re not looking for a relationship, but if you sincerely are, “hey” isn’t going to cut it. If you can see their Facebook or Instagram account, their photos will probably tell you what they’re into. Ask them about that!
4. If you’re the one being messaged, don’t be a jerk. It may seem low-risk, but for someone with social anxiety or someone who’s just really shy, just sending that message online can take a lot of courage and effort. You don’t have to say “yes” to each and every one, but you can choose to let them down gently rather than being bitchy or just ignoring them.
5. No means no. If you’ve been rejected, accept that loss and move one. Peppering the guy with even more messages isn’t exactly leaving the best impression. There are other fish in the sea, so the saying goes, and the right one may just be somewhere else. After all, people have met their husbands on Adam4Adam, so who says you can’t meet yours too?
To those who’ve found success meeting people online, any other tips you can give? What conversation starter has always worked for you when you’re striking up a conversation on social media? Share it in the comments below!