Speak Out : Pay For Play?
We’ve all heard the expression “gay for pay” but an expression that I have been seeing on all the gay social sites is “pay for play.” I’ve actually been asked twice in one week if I am into “pay for play.” The most recent guy that asked is really cute and I actually considered it for a moment until I checked my bank account which made my decision for me.
This got me to thinking. It’s not secret to my friends that I often times go to a bookstore with the fancy video booths for a random and quick hookup. Let’s face it, it’s a quick fix when you don’t feel like messaging people on the social media sites and don’t want to take the time in getting to know someone. These places have been around way before the internet was invented.
To go to these places, there is a fee to get in. I usually pay anywhere between $5-10 depending on the place. I’ve been known to spend hours there waiting for the “right” guy to come along but mostly the selection is not always what I am looking for so I’ll stay and see if it gets better. Side note: I’ve spent about $127 to get into these bookstores in 2016 alone, at least per my bank statements. Rarely has it ever been worth it.
Ok, I am getting off topic here.
What is the difference is paying admission to these stores or bathhouses then paying someone for their company that may or not lead to sex? I know, I know, it’s illegal in most states but we all know that it happens.
If these college kids, as the ones who’ve messaged me, are needing some extra cash, wouldn’t that be a better use of the money to go to someone that needs help instead of a for-profit company? Does that make any sense or is that just my mind finding a way to justify it?
I appreciate everyone’s thoughts and just keep it friendly please. If I don’t write in before the holidays, I so wish everyone a safe and fun holiday.
Jason
A4A username: ncboy1982_
This post was written by a user of A4A, if you too would like to submit an article, feel free to send it to blog at adam4adam.com
I have paid for hotel and cabs for guys, we all get desperate and want to get laid. I feel that there is a population who wants to hook up with out all the drama behind it, so paying sounds like the easiest answer.
I don’t care if someone wants to charge, just make sure your intention is it’s clear and not waste any more time..
Talking about time, could be seen as a waste is time, but we all about them.
We all go through financial struggles, but when you are using your dick as money grabbing at the age of 30 or older, then I think you have a problem.
I have yet to pay for sex, but ultimately I feel we will all become sugar daddies to get laid..
Happy holidays all.
sending all the flakes to the curb, i find a4a to be one of the best hook up sites. i’ve met a few here and there and all i can tell you is not once did i had to pay a dime to have some fun. i rather meet men here instead of the gay bar, to me that place wastes a lot of money and no action lol i only go for drinks and friends, not men hunting lol
Thanks man:)
I for one have used escorts on a regular basis….my first time with a guy was an escort…i resently hired a young escort that was 21 years old ….he was cute and i have never ever been fucked that good before in 16 years….i will keep using escorts as many times as i can afford it….
Yes, better to give money to an individual, but why give when they will so likely steal it from you and more, anyway? Why encourage young people to ruin their lives by engaging in prostitution? It’s wrong on so many levels. If you really want to help, then be a sugar daddy and have an ongoing relationship with appropriate gifts and help, in a somewhat-healthy context. Or better yet, donate to a scholarship fund for gay students. And stop going to dirty bookstores. Geez. That’s what adam4adam is for!
I totally agree with you
I like your way of thinking. 😀 Let’s chat.
Some of us don’t have the great luck on a4a and that’s why we have to resort to the bookstores cause they’re usually a quicker fix and sometimes the “hunt” can be fun.
I think that if prostitution was legalized or at least more sociable acceptable, it might be safer and more enjoyable. I just don’t think I’d enjoy myself if I paid someone cause I’d be so worried it was a cop that was going to arrest me.
Thanks for your comment. 🙂
I do agree in legalized prostitution. They would have to have healthcare, condoms and lunch provided. Most likely an id batch with company name so that you can tell them apart from the fakes.
Its a scam… Most dont need the help they do it as a form of work.. Why pay for great sex when you can get that free.. One day you gone pay and its not going to be worth it… I dont pay & i never will i know this game all too well…
It is ridiculous that “pay for play” is illegal. Not everyone is attractive enough to find a sex partner, some people dont have the time go out meet someone to have sex with. How is it a woman has such control over her body that she can terminate a pregnancy but adults cant charge a fee to give someone an orgasm? I dont understand how the government can dictate whether a person can collect a fee for sex. Its a violation of a persons right to privacy and control over their body.
I am a busy professional with more money than free time, and no interest in anything close to a LTR, and have the stereotypical attraction to young guys with which I share little of common interest. Everyone gets what they want, and as the saying goes, you don’t pay for sex, you pay them to leave afterward.
Most of the people I know, myself included, have been escorts, whores, or had arrangements. My boyfriend though is shocked by how normal it is for some people. He partied at Studio 54 back in the day, and we met at an orgy, so he’s not exactly innocent. Some people just exist in different worlds.
Ive heard of it before, but I sit on the other spectrum of it. Ive had guys offer to pay to play with me. I guess it was flattering, in a way, that they wanted to pay to be with me?? But I thought it was odd as well. I guess they think everyone has their price? But my price is wanting to be with someone, not because you flashed several hundred at me.
Absolutely no way. I have an EnormousCock, but would never reduce myself to demanding $$$$$. After raising two children as a divorced, custodial parent, with no support from my ex-wife, putting them through boarding school and college, and having to retire early after successfully battling acute leukemia twice twenty years ago – no, just no….
You got a great perspective
I’ve been with a series of play-for-pay guys over the last 30 years. Often been with the same guy for 5+ years and it has been great. I’m not interested in a LTR so this works well for me. Had some really nice relationships including with guys who had “retired” from the business but did continue to see me. They seemed to enjoy being with me and I sure enjoyed being with them. No regrets.
I am an older guy that doesn’t mind helping out someone who needs some cash if the sex is good and we both agree on what we want and is followed through… I have had some bad experiences but in general most guys are legit when paid…some have actually given me more than was expected due to them enjoying the encounter also..
i have gotten hotel rooms, paid for dinner n drinks i don’t have a problem with doing that even if it don’t end up in the bedroom. i always hope it does tho and most times it does. what i dont like is a guy hits me up chatting me etc then he invites me over to play i say sure then the kicker
“are you generous or donations accepted” are a instant block
Pay for play? We all do that to some extent. Buy a guy a cocktail as an introduction? Or as you are chatting, hoping that as he gets drunker he’ll say “oh yes!”.
Have paid for a couple”massages”. The first time the massage was great and got me hard, but he only massaged my cock. The other time the massage was not as good but he was hot and did more .
I don’t get laid too often, and the bookstore kinda sucks, so pay..
If it’s in the budget
I agree with the a4a part, sex, or companionship is so easy to find here (ok, not always, but you get the point) on these type of sites. While I do agree if you’re not getting laid enough, paying might be a quick fix, but in the end, having a short bank account for a quickie sounds rather dumb if you ask me. Yes sex is good and great, I’m very pro sex, but as long it’s not hurting your wallet.
However, despite how pro sex I am, the part I dislike about gay for pay, escort, prostitution, is that it’s all fake. Yes the guys might act like he’s enjoying the moment, but let’s be real, he’s only doing it for the money and might not even find you attractive. When I meet a guy I want to be I wanna be sure we both like each other for real, and not playing a game$.
Oh on the sugar daddy part, cool if you want to do that, but those young gay men need to be independent and not depend on daddies money. It just seems pathetic and he’s draining (ok, bad choice of words lol) your bank account and manipulating you to get what he wants. Haven’t straight men learned that part already? Surprises me so many older gay men fall for the same trickery that straight men do, instead of women, with young men, oh, the irony!
The back when saying comes to mind.
” Once its bought and paid for honey theres no problem, except for the case of crabs left behind.”
That about sums it up, guys.
legality gives you information about morality but doesn’t determine it — take weed for example
buying and selling implies class, hierarchy, and it excludes people from life-sustaining resources
aside from that, what is especially or inherently wrong about commodifying ass or dick? hell, even guys that pay don’t always want sex; they might want affection or some sort of kinky roleplay. there’s no difference between that and paying someone to help you move your furniture; you have a demand and you find it in the market by meeting an equal demand.
The way I see it, if you’re willing to pay, and they’re willing to play then it’s nobody else’s business than the two consenting adults in this transaction. Personally, I think it should be legal and regulated, that would get rid of so much of the diseases and human trafficing. Besides, whose business is it if somebody pays somebody else for sex? The government has deemed money (as in finanical consideration to political candidates) as speech that can not nor should not be restricted, so why don’t we just say that we were using our money as speech to express how much we enjoy sex? Why is it legal for someone to pay someone else to have sex with them or someone else(or a group of other people) and record it and sell it to other people? Just because there’s a camera present? Ok, then tell the guy that wants paid that you are going to record the encounter for your own private collection. Problem solved. Just make sure you collect U.S.C. 2257 information and you’ll always be doing it legally.
I think the guys who “expect” to be paid are arrogant. I can’t image having a good time with them. Let’s look at this from a strictly financial standpoint. As the Author mentioned, he’s spent $127 over a year for bookstores. That wouldn’t cover two guys who’ve asked me for money. They typically ask for $100. The local bookstore is $10 and I always leave relieved, and I find the experience more exciting. The bathhouse is $14 for admission and there’s a steam room and hot tub there. I’ll support the business rather than the arrogant jerks.
I like your way of thinking. 🙂
I can’t say i havent considered it. I have no problem chatting on here and have had plenty of guys invite me to meet. But every single time so far, thats where the convo stops. “Shit my roommate came home early” “dam i just got called into work” “my friends car broke down” “flood” “locusts”
So many times, like a fool ive left work early, went home, shaved, showered, got in the car, drove 20 minutes just to get a last minute cancel.
Being new and unable to host, ive even been dumb enough to get a room more than once just to end up jerking off by myself.
I dont pay because of the legal aspect and the fact that i dont believe for a second most guys charging are “college guys making money for books” lol.
But if all it took were a few bills to get what i wanted, when i wanted it, without all the bs….id seriously consider it
I had several of those last minute bs cancellations. I’m sorry, but even if it’s true that your room mate is about to show up, blah, you make sure you have the time and availability to actually afford a hook up. Don’t plan a hook up if you have too many errands and things that gets in the way.
From another perspective: I prefer pay for play most times. I will say I’m not against hook ups without pay depending on my mood. For the most part, I prefer a guy that appreciates my time that I could otherwise use to generating some income . which leaves me not able to meet anyone when my time best served making money .one guy would be enough and gifts often and who respects my time. Hopefully it will be a growing relationship but I want gifts/pay now.
There’s something about paying for sex that bothers me on a very basic level. I fully understand that gay guys can be shallow and if you’re not gorgeous it’s harder to attract the attention of someone you may think is physically appealing.
Still on some level it’s a commentary on gay culture. It’s easier to fork over some cash than to get online or go to a bar and pick someone up. I think the message just irritates me. “Without this money, I probably wouldn’t even give you the time of day”. I’ve never paid for sex, or bought someone’s cab, or filled up someone’s car or paid their rent for a good lay. I don’t look down upon anyone who has but it’s just too easy to get it for free.
Growing up, I was poorer than poor, but I’m good looking, smart, and have a big dick. I had 3 “grandfathers” that put me through college in exchange for me fucking them to within an inch of their lives AND I ENJOYED IT.
I needed the money to get out of my circumstances and in exchange I have seen after them. Two have died and I was with them to the end.
It really is time to legalize prostitution to guard against HIV transmission, and STDs and let people make a legitimate living at it.
As men, we know that sex can be purely for fun and that it does not require a person to be in love or to want a relationship.
I’m married (open) and have sex with other men…no longer for cash because I don’t need it.
I know this isn’t exactly what the post was asking but I played for pay and don’t regret it.
Lmao im a good looking guy with a huge long fat Dick i would never pay to have sex nor would i ever need to. Guys who ask if ur Gen. I say go get a job.
Thing is, many of them actually have jobs already.
Thanks to everyone who has commented. I’ve read them all so far and I greatly appreciate everyone’s opinion and everyone who’s inboxed me. I’ve gathered that this was a bigger topic on people’s minds than I thought. 🙂
Merry Christmas everyone!
legalize it and tax it.
Let me just state that guys get away with a lot more of this kind of stuff than the lady’s would and gay guy’s are the worst at this. That’s because they don’t want to talk about this kind of stuff and our government is so busy listening and gaining whatever information they can for free.
Sad thing is though this is a tough life and it tears at ones self esteem.
But they would never talk about this in government just like there not talking about MR. & Mr.
giving respect to those that have been marred and those whom have not. It’s a woman’s way I wonder have they ever heard what they don’t have to fight for that’s. Taxes are only for those pro adds it’s a rigged system.
When I was young being Generous was all about seeing a man and going to dinner with drinks or out of town..that helped because I didn’t have to pay. I slept with him because he sponsored me in ways that helped me. Now I get laid more than anyone I know for free ..and when I get hit with are you generous. I reply..To a fault with my mouth and ass great dinners ,road trips ,concerts, cocktails , gas money ect..I know it’s the same thing as paying but in a more polite manner..if I pay I want a massage and then some cock..
I am a professional and hold a license to make my living. And I am not “out.” Perhaps shame on me for not being out, but I damn sure do not want to be arrested. It would be embarrassing for me, my friends, my colleagues and my family.
However, from a practical perspective, paying a young stud to come over to my house on a Saturday night when the weather sucks and I have nothing better to do, is plain convenient. It is like ordering pizza delivery.
I am not worried about the issues with the stud, but what happens if he were a vice cop on a mission.
Now here is what really pisses me off. Have you ever responded to a post on CL, A4A or other when you are convinced it is a young college boy fucking his way through school. And then he asks for photos of your face, body and penis so he can decide if an old fart like me is worth his time to come over and fuck me. That pisses me off, when I have decided to take the plunge, risk the arrest, risk the burglary of my home the next weekend when I am fishing and he wants to inspect the goods first.
It sucks to get old.
20 years ago, it was about getting to know someone, even if it were just for a fling. Even 10-12 years ago, you socialized slightly before you bent over. Now, it’s all about either paying or being anonymous. I personally won’t pay someone to give them a hummer. (Hell, I’m doing the work, so shouldn’t **I** be the one getting paid? LOL)
I don’t judge anyone; I have a neighbor, actually, who serves as an escort/”massage therapist” for a living. He just bought a brand new S-class for cash and got home from a 10 day vacation in the Bahamas. He’s 30 years old. And outright owns the condo he lives in. He laughed one day at the amount of money he makes doing this “service” being 6-figures to take off his clothes. Must be nice. 🙂
I make excuses to go to Las Vegas with str8 friends – and every time I arrange to hookup with an escort. Hey! It’s fun. It’s quick. And no one has to know. I’m a decent looking dude but it’s so much more convenient to set up something with a young hottie and have a good time than working for a hookup on a4a or in a bar.