Sexuality : Sex Life for Men over Fifty
Photo credit : Stanley Tucci, in movie Burlesque
Is it harder than when you were younger to find hookups when you are over fifty? I mean, finding love is always hard and it’s another thing but looking for someone with casual sex for a night in mind, or finding a friend with benefits, is that harder now that you are in your fifties?
I hear stories about how younger guys want cash in exchange for sex with older men or how they expect fancy wine and dinners. In short, older men are sometimes expected to be generous not just in bed but in every way. How true is this? Have you experienced this? Or maybe you removed all these “rules” and expectations by hiring escorts: this way the terms are clear and both parties get what they want. Or maybe you have no trouble hooking up at all? If so, what is your “formula” that makes finding hookups as easy as when you were younger?
For me age is not a factor when getting into bed with someone else but there should be some sort of chemistry. It’s finding someone’s smile attractive or there’s got to be a feeling of wanting to kiss him, or simply loving the way he smells that gets me drawn to him not to mention I’ve got to feel comfortable with him. These things count a lot. You do want to enjoy sex not jump into someone else’s bed only to end up spending most of the time thinking how to get it over and done with.
So join the discussion and comment below, we’d love to hear your opinion. Oh and mention your username and city when commenting this post, you might find your perfect match!
I am 23 years old. I have had relations with men aged up to their 60’s. Mostly just casual for fun. I don’t really view age as being a problem if the chemistry and their looks are good enough. I have however had men in the age range of 35-60 initially offer me money from the start of conversing (some I would have banged anyway without them paying). I feel like that plays a great role in this instance. I mean If your someone who is attractive and in shape enough that I would like to have sex with anyway, and then you throw money at me. I’m not gonna decline it. Just a little something for you older folks to take into consideration. Given I know guys like me are pretty scarce.
Actually you’re not as scarce as you might think. Turning 51 on New Year’s Day. In this last year of having hit 50, there’s way more 20-something’s out there who I’ve hooked up with, never once has money or compensation been asked for nor expected. Seems the younger guys where I’m at prefer the experience of an older guy like myself.
I present myself online as I am away from a computer or my phone. I must admit, the first couple of times I was hit on, I was first surprised and then cautious, but it’s been a lot of fun.
I’m over 50 and look it, but I’m successful, mature, fit, intelligent, responsible, and the boys love me!!
Life is good!!!
Great that’s amazing!
I am a fit 62 and I am having more good sex now than I did when I was in my 20’s 30’s 40’s
Nice!
I’m in my late 50’s.
Meeting younger guys face to face in a bar or a club is a lot easier than it is on line.
On line, I do enjoy looking and browsing at the posted photos but rarely send a message.
If a young guy wants to chat that’s fine and sometimes we have hooked up.
But when he comes on a little too strong, I can’t help thinking that he is looking to be paid for his services and I’m unwilling to pay.
There are a few really nice younger guys who I have chatted with on line. We both have no intention of ever meeting or having sex. We just chat.
Some older guys think that just because you check out their profile that you can’t wait to get naked. But for me there has to be something that is attractive or interesting before I’m willing to drop my undies.
Late 50’s and having a great sex life, when I hit 40, I thought sex was over for me, I was wrong , enjoying sex at its best, and safe
I prefer men in my age group. There are many good looking horny mature men out here who are looking for the same. I really don’t have much in common with anyone under 40. Also I am looking for more than a hit and run
I’m 30 and I’ve always had fun with older men. Now that I am 30 I’m just an awkward in between age so my sex life sucks and probably will till I’m at least 40. I’m black, successful, hardworking, and I can’t get laid.
Im in my mid fifties and have also been having more sex now than in my earlier years. Its called experience and theres something to be said for having it. My hookups range from late 20’s to just over my age. Im lovin life right now at least where sex is concerned 😉
will be 50 in a month and having the best sex of my life these days. Lot’s of younger guys out there who enjoy their ‘daddies’, took me a bit to get over becoming a ‘daddy’ or DILF, but now, I say bring on the boys who know the pleasures of sex with older guys…or at least open to us. Younger guys have the stamina to work me over and explode with enough cum to drown someone.
As an older male almost hitting my 60th year, I can safely say to all those younger dudes out there that we older guys still like to cum, too … 60 is the new 50 as 50 is the new 40 … Our desires and urges are still just as strong as those of someone 24 years old with a set of balls full of hot seed. Give us a chance, guys … Come on. We might even be able to show you some things that you never even realized before … (wink)
Some of my best sexual experiences have been with older man. They’re fun, experienced, they know what they do.
Of course they are all fit and look great for their age, but that also applies to guys I seek at any age.
I’m a 50 something african American man and the key is staying in shape and having the ability to adjust to any man I desire. Younger guys will listen to what you have to say and if they find you interesting and attractive then will date. I enjoy both older and younger guys. I have no problem getting dated/laid……
This is joke. If you have a big cock, then yes. If not, forget it. No one wants an older man with a small cock. Only if you pay someone, will they let you touch their cock.
Well…I’m 62 and don’t top like I used to, but the boys come a’callin’ for butt sex, no doubt about that! Trying to find ones willing to test? THAT’S not easy. I have a 32 year old steady with a big dick and a nice tight ass…I’m good.
I would say of the top 5 sexual encounters I’ve had, at least 3 were with men over 50.
Oh my gosh, the gay world is not like that show queer as folk. Yeah, 40 and 50 somethings can still get some ass.
Hell, I’m 23 and while I’ll probably never date anyone above age 30, my best sex partners have been 40 and 50 something. When youre gay, you kinda have to take what you can get. Also, my best fwb was 47 and I thought I had an insatiable sex appetite. This puerto rican daddy would fuck me so hard I couldnt feel my legs after.
I think it all depends on the guy (older) and how he interacts with another (younger), including being prepared to be told he’s just too old.
coldnovemberain in Hollywood California: I’m not paying anybody for sex, no matter how young and pretty they are. Of course, it is harder to find someone to date and hookup once you are 50 and over, but I can’t prevent having birthdays like some guys on here can…….lol.
I see happy people in all walks of life and ages, so make the most of life while you can.
Ever since I was young I preferred older men. Now that I’m in mid 50’s I still prefer older men since my best sexual encounters have been with guys around my age.
I am 75….have always had good sex since I was a very young man…..this mature age is no exception….men my age as well as younger (30 something) are looking for mature men with
experience to enjoy good sexual encounters. I have no complaints.
I admit that when I turned 50 my sex life took a downturn. I had just broken up with my partner of 12 years, my self-esteem was low and, for awhile, thought I’d never get laid again. But eventually I gave up on trying to meet other people’s expectations and focused more on what would make me happier and healthier. I gave up gay bars, went back to the gym, took up yoga and started running triathlons. I stopped trying to relive my glory years and accepted myself as who I am today, while trying to unlock the full potential of who I will be tomorrow. Now I’m having some of the best and most satisfying sex of my entire life. Confidence and experience IS sexy. Weekly testosterone treatments don’t hurt either.
Ive always preferred older guys most are mature easy to talk to chilled ill never expect to be paid for anything jus have a good time and have fun…
In NYC its hard. I get regular massages just to make sure my body is being touched .I don’t pay for massage with release. We all need different things at different ages and I get that but staying positive in this culture makes me feel like that part of my life is over .Please don’t give me that its not reality ,we all think it sometime.
I’m 57, and have many more 20 and 30 somethings hitting me up for sex than I ever did in my early 40’s!
Im 25 & i prefer the company of an older man solely because even if it’s under the guise of a hookup an older man knows how to treat you you before, after & during said hookup. “Younger” guys take note because the age of the gentleman is not gone.
Friggin’ love being 56! With the internet hooking up is easier than ever. I hit on and get hit on usually by guys in their 20s to late 30s. I meet and fuck with hot guys from all the boroughs, well maybe not Staten Island lol.
I’ve also had incredible sex with a guy who was 72. But usually I want to be the older guy and don’t mind being called daddy, papa, papi etc.
Idk about 50s but I’m in my mid 40s and you’d think I couldn’t get it up anymore and ready for the nursing home. It’s ridiculous. I don’t even approach guys younger than 40 anymore, they can come to me. Funny thing is, for some of them, their age never changes on their profiles. They’ve been 39 for years now.
I’m torn on this matter because on one hand I love older guys, but on the other hand I want to get married and have a huge wedding with someone I can grow old with. Obviously I can’t do both. Apart of me wants to just be submissive and find an older guy who is more likely to be comfortable enough to just be with me in a strong relationship but the other half blames older men for deterring younger men from wholesome marriage and family life because lets face it, how many of you older men actually plan on picking up someone half your age, asking their family for their blessing and popping a ring on it? Go ahead…..I’ll wait.
Man paying is weak and most of these guys just want a nut. I saving the nutting for women of someone special. I’m 62 and look younger. I have no problem finding someone to give me some play. I’m not into masculine men so that is the only reason I might not get any.
I’m a mindsex type guy. Meaning you got to touch my mind before the body gets interested in you. I’m also bisexual so if the LGBT crowd tripping I sling this dick on women of all ages… not much dick out here for the women so I’m picky who gets this dick. Most of you can’t suck a dick to save your lives. All that gagging and slobbering turns me off and can those poppers. Men need to learn that women serve up some good ass too. I hit the gym too… no matter how young you are no one wants a nasty looking out of shape person.
When I first started having sex at 12, my initial encounters were with men much older at a local park. I met one there who was turning 60 and we hit it off. I’m good looking and have a big dick so for most men that’s enough. Hell, I could be ugly and the big dick would get me dates. That’s all I thought I was good for.
The attraction for me was having a father figure because I really had a shitty, low income family life and it felt good to have someone who cared. He encouraged me to stay in school. I did. He encouraged me to go to college. I did. He immersed me in his business and for all intents and purposes I now own it 18 years later.
Yes, he paid for a lot along the way, but I was so desperate when I was younger. I didn’t know how to be anything but desperate. He showed me how not to be desperate and I am thankful.
I have no idea what I will do when he passes because he’s “dad” to me. I will be eternally grateful that he took me from rough trade to being a respectable man.
I’m not saying that men past 50 must pay for sex or anything like that, just telling my story.
I’m 54 masculine clean and fit. I don’t have any problems getting guys to come over. I think the key is to take care of yourself and stay in shape. Of course being hung doesn’t hurt. I fuck guys from 18 on up as long as they are clean and fit. I don’t mind young guys calling me daddy. It’s kind of hot to spend a few hours tangled up with a hot young bottom. I know he is going to have some of the best sex he’s ever had.
All of my regular play buds are over 50. I’m 60 and have much more regular and fun sex than I did in my 20s. Arranging sex is easy at any age. Be a great guy. Not an arrogant, self-absorbed, self-centered ass.
j-chem109 from CA
I am about to turn 21 this Sunday and I definitely find older men attractive. I don’t have a long list of demands; basically any older man I’ll want to pull off his pants and suck him right then and there. I was in a FWB/dating/relationship type thing with a 58-59 year old man for a year and a half (he turned 59 while we were seeing each other).
As a man over fifty, and living in a college town, I find all the little boys want little boys and all the grown men want little boys. I dont get it. Sure, little boys are great eye candy, but i want a mature man who is not full of drama and bs. The computer age has really screwed up cruising. Everyone on computer wants to know your age etc. Back in the cruising days, she was no issue.byou would see the person, hear them speak. Etc. On computers, you are shown/told one thing, then when, and if you meet, you may get something completely different. The guys that I do hook up with are always so surprised how nice, young acting, funny, etc. That I am. Don’t give up on us men over 50, we still have lots to offer.
I am in my mid 50’s and in the best shape of my life. It is difficult to meet guys on A4A, because when they see my age they have a mental picture of how I will look. But when I do meet them, they are amazed at my body and appearance. So I have better luck meeting guys at the gym or the beach. However, I have better sex now than I ever did when I was younger and most of the guys I fuck are in their 20’s or early 30’s. I am a top and they always want more and to do it again.
In my opinion, age is just a number, if you take care of yourself and maintain your physical appearance. I see flabby, out of shape guys in their 20’s that I wouldn’t even consider having sex with, regardless of their youth.
Mid 50’s guy here but have the look of a 40-45. guys in their 20’s are always attracted to me. I’m good either way, young or mature, just finding the right chemistry without the drama. Overall, I’ve met some great guys in my life! Krudossssssssss!
It also depends on where you live. I’m in “a military town” and those fucks want no one older than them and no body weight over theirs. They’ve been given an attitude of “I deserve only what I want and fuck everyone else.” All those “heroes” are simply, arrogant entitled shits.
Great comments. Age is a state of mind. Almost 60 here as well & never thought I would be as in-shape or sexually active as I am today. I don’t prefer younger or older – just good chemistry and fit. Was totally out of shape in my 30’s, then set a goal to do a triathlon – that changed my life. Now I lift weights & do endurance training along with my doctor putting me on testosterone (muscle mass) & HCG(more cum). I have profiles on a couple sites (google bigtexstud9) and have no shortage of guys young & old wanting to play.
So I would encourage anyone at any age – you can be very fit and have an incredible sex life if you set some goals.
As a man of 68, I find it is a case of mind over matter. Chatting online on a site like A4A is a good way to get to know someone before you meet. I chat with a lot of young guys who are looking for some stability in their lives. Mature men are a good source of stability. Granted, there are some who just want to take advantage, but that goes both ways. I’m not ashamed to say that I have paid for sex. The majority of those encounters turned into lasting friendships. Reason: the mind. Many young men are seeking someone who will treat them with respect, trust, tolerance and compassion in a caring, stable relationship. Generosity takes many forms. Just be confident in yourself and share more than the physical.
I’ll be 69 this Sunday. I enjoy sex and I prefer younger men. I had a nine year relationship with a younger man and I had a wonderful time while it was good. Now, I have regulars and lately, a few younger men have asked me for sex. I think it’s all in your attitude. I’m thankful to have their attention and hoping that I can continue to play for another ten years. You just never really know what’s going to come your way, even when you are older.
A guy in his twenties told me I was an ageist because I completely dismissed him as a possibility. I’ve paid rent boys though too because it takes less time than dinner or coffee and there’s no negotiation over tbe sexual activity. Only very rarely have I enjoyed those emcounters. One young guy I was hooking up with started discussing books and articles he was reading. I just wanted him to take off his pants. I’ve also found some young men have little sexual finesse. Since my break up 5 years ago at 51. Its been mostly young guys. But my peers can be just as problematic, worshipping at the fountain of youth. If something happens it happens but in most ways I’m happier than ever. I don’t have youth now but I’ve got good friends, strong interests and lots of money.
Eric I am in a mililtary town as well, so I understand you. I am terribly jealous that so many others state they have no issue in the sexual department even beyond 50. I am in mid 60’s in Charleston SC. I have an active sex drive, but seldom will I find anyone desiring to have sex with me.. I am on Adam often, and most will not even chat with me on this site. I yet have defined body and chest hairy and a waist of 30″ 150 lbs. I actually do get a partner about 4 times a year. And the youth here are definitely into being paid. I refuse to pay for sex directly. But on occassion, I have been conned to loan monies to help an ailing mother, and rent, For the monies they “borrowed” is never paid back. I think the word “borrow” these days has a new defination of Give me….
when I turned 50, my body started to “blossom” into my Eastern European genetic destiny — 6-pack => keg. now at 57, I am still surprised by the guys that think I am hot and sex is the best it has ever been — quality and quantity. Living in Fort Lauderdale helps ; )
My experience is so different. You guys are so lucky to have a great sex life after 50. I was in a chat room a few years ago and some young guy chatted out loud to the group, “Look an old head is up in here.” Being embarrassed is putting it mildly. Often, I say a simple “hello” to guys here on A4A and get blocked, ignored or asked, “How generous are you?” I find that you can’t even make friends on this site, it seems to be so youth driven.
I’m tall, African American, over 60, but would never consider paying for sex. I also think getting paid makes it uninteresting. Bringing money into the conversation leaves me limp.
I’ve loved older men as long as I can remember. Once I met with a guy 50 yrs older than me, it was so hot! I’m 25 now there’s just something about an older guy that gets my heart pounding I love it. It’s not just about sex it’s a whole different experience in itself. Love my older guys
matt-nick- latin hung-
Munchiessio look me up guys
as a older guy i have a similar story out of shape getting to the upper 50’s meet a hot younger man. hit the gym get fit and the sex life comes alive. i’ve have had more better sex since my mid 50’s than i did during my 30’s-40’s early 50’s i thought i would end up jacking till the last day. now no worries some of the younger guys have asked if i was generous instant block!!! i don’t mind picking up the tab for drinks or dinner or something like that but don’t ask to get paid for your young ass or dick i’m a working man. if you want $$$ get a fucking job and show some drive and good things will happen to you and good people will come into your life. 3 of my best lovers were 21 and 39 and 49. the 49 is the guy i would chose to marry tho he has it all great ass nice body fine cock good looking masculine funny and smart common sense…. D
Hi I’m Michael from Tampa. Not sure why this happens to me, but younger guys tend to run from me. I turned 55 last week. I look better then some 35yo’s. I have been in magazines, done some porn, bartender at at Boston Gay Leather Bar on Sat Nights in the 90’s. I’ve aged well, yet no one hits on me. I got my shit together, have everything I need but not the thing I want most. Been single 14 yrs and really would love to not say this anymore. Anyone in the Tampa area that may want to meet a nice guy who is masculine, beefy, oh!! and a bottom. HMU
Times have changed. 15 years ago, I’d say (at least where I live) that the young men, 20’s and 30’s – were looking more for men their own age. But now, with technology, and pretty much everything being more available …. and how far gay life has come, many young men are approaching older men. It seems like as we are moving deeper into the 21st century, a lot of those old time inhibitions are gone, and younger people (and some are really uninhibited) are taking advantage of the times, embracing their sexuality and their lives, and are going for new things, including being with older men. I experienced this myself. I was very surprised. A 22 year old seduced me. He seduced me! I didn’t seduce him!
But aside from what I’ve said above, I do think that some younger men equate age with stability, experience. And don’t forget, as we’ve seen on the news from both the gay and straight sides, many young people are attracted to power. Sometimes I think how do these older senators and congressmen, Governors, etc, get these young guys – or in straight world – young buxom women? They’ve got money and power. But, there are some younger guys that like an older man that knows what he’s doing – and not just in the bedroom. There are some younger men that want to be shown the ropes. And, there are some younger men that know that an older man may treat him well, and with respect and maybe love …. qualities that can be lacking in the hook up arena. And sure, there are the hustlers (usually at bookstores and bars, on the street, definitely online), but they weed themselves out unless the older man is looking for that.
But for me personally, I like for there to be a little more ….. after sex …. which sometimes isn’t available with the younger set. So I personally don’t seek out the 20 somethings or the millennials. But if a spontaneous seduction happens ( again) with one of them, I most likely won’t pass it up either.