Sexuality : Are Gay Men Promiscuous?

Many people think that most gay men are promiscuous. We may first need to define the term ‘promiscuous’.

From www.dictionary.com:

Promiscuous [pruh-mis-kyoo-uh s]

Adjective

1. characterized by or involving indiscriminate mingling or association, especially having sexual relations with a number of partners on a casual basis.
2. consisting of parts, elements, or individuals of different kinds brought together without order.
3. indiscriminate; without discrimination.
4. casual; irregular; haphazard.

So if you are gay, bi, or queer, do you believe yourself to be inherently promiscuous? It is a common misconception that gay males are inherently “promiscuous” mainly because of their gender preference or gender classification.

There have been many theories that try to justify the supposed promiscuity of gays, but unfortunately, there is still more to reveal about the reputation. The proofs can either confirm it or discredit it.

History of the supposed Promiscuity of gays

Many people think that gay guys can be more undiscriminating when it comes to sex because they are men after all. It is safe to assume that most men like to have sex, and since gay men are attracted to other men, then making a connection should be relatively easy.

Developmental theory also suggests that men are basically wired to ‘sow their seeds’ as much as they can, which translates to males being naturally promiscuous, which of course also applies for gay men.

On the other hand, women can also enjoy sex just as much as men do. This is despite the fact that most women may not be as promiscuous as men, all because they simply consider a lot of factors. For instance, women are more careful when it comes to their sexual activities especially during that time period in history when birth control was still non-existent. Women had to be careful and wise with their sexual choices, since they will most likely carry the burden of childbirth and raising the child.

Nonetheless, all the same, control with sexual conduct can also apply to men, gay or not or whether they are with the opposite sex or the same sex. Although sexual orientation is necessarily not a choice, gay people still have the choice whom to have sex with, and when or even how frequent it is.

The numbers

Many people may think that gay men tend to sleep around much more compared to straight men. But, does it really mean that gays are more promiscuous? Let’s look at the numbers.

One of the biggest dating websites in the world gathered and published the site’s user match questions. These questions were designed to get as much information as they can about their members.

The numbers are quite alarming. But take note that not all statistics are flawless. The study shows that there is only 1 percent difference between homosexuals and heterosexuals in terms of their level of promiscuity.

The data shows that 98 percent of the gay participants have had only 20 or lesser sexual partners while 99 percent of heterosexuals have had the same data.

Again, the data is not perfect or pure fact. (The sample is largely comprised of North Americans who regularly use the Internet to hook up or get a date.)

It is safer to say that the promiscuity of a person is not directly related to his or her sexual preference or orientation, unfortunately, many people still think that the majority of gay men are promiscuous. This train of thought can be a result of a myriad of possibilities or factors.

The many theories of Promiscuity in the gay community

There have been many theories that supposedly explain why gays are more promiscuous compared to straight guys. However, there really is no solid basis for these theories, hence making them basically mere speculation.

It remains safe to say that homosexuality, or a homosexual gender preference, has nothing to do at all with promiscuity. Note that lesbians, although homosexuals too, are known to have fewer sexual partners, and not as much into sex compared to gay men.

Be as it may, some gay men may be considered as profoundly promiscuous, but the data is still not that high. The number is even slowly decreasing especially now that more and more states or countries are approving of gay marriage. This means, more people in the same-sex relationship are becoming committed (to a single partner) because of marriage ties.

The US National Surveys of Family Growth conducted a 10-year study that revealed that gay male promiscuity has significantly dropped during the first 10 years that gay marriage started to become an option.

No difference no matter what gender or orientation

True enough, there really is not much of a difference between straight guys and homosexuals. Promiscuity and sexual relations would depend on the inhibitions or even limitations that a person, no matter what gender or sexual orientation, sets on him or herself.

Promiscuity depends more on the person’s decisions or whether they are single or are in a committed relationship, and at times, too, it could only take the right temptation for them to become promiscuous in their sexual relations—or even go astray despite being in a committed relationship.

Myths, lies, falsities about gay men

There may be many people who think that gay men are promiscuous because they are seen as not being able control their sexual desires, but, just like the straight guys (or the straight women), a gay guy can also get attracted only to a certain category of men depending on their personal preference or interest.

The idea that gay men have that universal desire for all types of men is purely fictional and simply absurd. This notion can lead a lot of issues especially among homophobic men.

Some people may even think that gay men have the inability to be in a monogamous relationship mainly because they are male in nature, but sexual promiscuity is a human phenomenon that is not necessarily related to a person’s type of sexual preference or orientation.

The sexual behavior of a gay person tends to vary exceedingly from one person to another, which means, some gay men may be super-active in their sex lives (whether with just one partner or multiple partners) while other gay men can be completely celibate depending on various personal or deciding factors.

The mere suggestion (probably by the staunch opponents of gender equality) that the sexual desires of gay men, in general, are naturally more “hedonistic” or more “sexual” than straight men is simply a myth.

Thoughts?