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Gay Stuff : 10 Things Gay Men Don’t Like to Hear

1- “Oh, you’re dating someone? So who’s the woman in the couple?”

Seriously? By definition, being a Gay man in a relationship, a man dates another man or boy. They are both MEN, so why would one be a woman? Get it together people!

2- “Awe, I always wanted to have a Gay friend!”

That’s nice and all, but don’t confuse having a Gay friend with having a girlfriend. They don’t all carry around purses with little Chihuahuas in them.

3- “I bet you love this song! No? But don’t all Gay Men love Mariah Carey?”

Cher, Madonna, Mariah, Gaga, and the rest of them are awesome! They have a strong gay fan following, but that doesn’t mean all Gay Men lose their shit every time one of their songs come on.

4- “When did you choose to be gay?”

I can’t believe any Gay people are asked this question. They chose to be gay the same day you chose to be a dumbass.

5- “You’re Gay? You don’t look Gay.”

How does one LOOK Gay? Is there a Gay dress code?

6- “You haven’t seen Brokeback Mountain? But it’s a Gay film!”

Do you watch every straight movie that comes out?

7- “I’m cool with it, I went to school with a Gay.”

So, do you want an award or something? Thank you so much for tolerating “A GAY”. What a dumb/ignorant thing to say.

8- “Hey Girl!”

Stop that! Don’t take for granted that just because he is a Gay Man that by default, he wants to be your girlfriend. Not all gay men are effeminate. So no, they don’t want to go shopping with you or listen to all of your problems. They do it because they like you.

9- “Well you’re gay, so you can tell if someone else is gay.”

First of all, why do you care? Second, stop being so nosey, geez. Despite what you might think, not all gay men come equipped with “Gaydar” (gay radar)

10- “Do you know any Hot women?”

They are not your ticket to women, spruce up your personality and go impress them yourselves.

Look, they get it, if you’re cool then be cool. They are NORMAL (whatever that means) everyday people. Asking ignorant questions like this is like asking a mexican if they are related to every other mexican you have known in your life. They deserve to be treated like everyone else. Their sexual orientation does not define who they are and it’s not any of your business.

Dave

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There are 40 comments

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  1. einathens

    I’ve found that dumb questions from straight people fall into two categories.

    Either they’re clueless or they’re looking for a reaction.

    If the question comes from ignorance, you have a teachable moment.

    If they’re looking to offend or provoke, I refuse to engage.

  2. MistrFistr

    Funny, I dont’ know any str8 people that stupid. Maybe Dave does…. #1 thing gay men say that I don’t like? “Just take a pill!”

  3. Kevin

    I don’t think it’s always a matter of ignorance or provocation. Some of these straight may do this they DO know some gays and certain types in the community. To be fair, gay men can sometimes put out mixed signals when it comes to this stuff. Lots of gay men are fine with all of these things and even promote some of it as “gay culture”. To each his/”her” own.

  4. 7top

    I agree, most of those are stupid questions. But there really is nothing wrong with 5. Most gay men have a certain persona, voice (usually a little softer), body language, or even a smile can give it away that you’re gay. Its honestly not to spot most of the times, so when one doesn’t have these features it can be a bit surprising.

  5. Rob

    Good ones and so true. Add this to your list.
    Trust no “straigh”t person that claims to be gay friendly or open minded. They all have limits when not around “THE GAYS”.

  6. Alpha

    I don’t agree with the music. Not ever gay male likes Cher, Madonna, GaGa or music like that. I prefer to listen to heavy metal, rock or alternative music

  7. Sam

    You left out the #1 thing gay men don’t want to hear: “No, I don’t want to have sex with you.” At least if it’s coming from a hot guy they are hitting on…

  8. YH

    you forgot….”You didn’t you vote for (insert Democrat candidate name here)? But don’t all gays vote Democrat?”

    No, some of us do have common sense. Believe it or not.

  9. hmmmm.....

    Are these questions real or imagined? I’ve heard a few of these questions, but these are not the things that irritate me. Here is my list:

    1. “Is that what you’re wearing?” When I need your opinion, I’ll beat it out of you, bitch.

    2. “Are you a top or a bottom?” Is that what passes for manners in your wolf pack? Was your momma one of those streetwalkers who gives change? Why don’t you at least ask me my name before crossing that line?

    3. “I’m not attracted to black/hispanic/asian, etc. It’s not racism, it’s just a preference.” Who the fuck asked your sorry ass, cracker? I’m pretty fed up with gay=white. The racism in the gay community is out of control. If I say hi to you, it means I’m friendly. It does not mean you are sexy. Get the hell over your arrogant self. Yes it does mean you are a racist. Non-racists keep personal preferences personal. They don’t racialize it. If it wasn’t just plain common sense, you wouldn’t have apologized before even committing the offense.

    4. “Drug and disease free.” Wow. You just said that out loud, did you? And no sense of… guilt..shame… ? Please say that again out loud. This time say it and listen as if you were the one being told that. Sorry, but if you use this phrase, you ARE diseased. Spiritually diseased. You’re a heartless sociopath. Why do you have to look for a put down to make yourself feel worthy? Please take your superior ass out of my sight before I puke on your ugly ass shoes.

    5. “Do you still exercise?” That’s just cold. I’m trying as hard as I can!!!

  10. Darryl

    All typical stupid questions yes, but you have to be able to roll with it sometimes, then educate, then advise them on how to ask someone a personal question, in public or private. Iam sure we have a few to ask straight people that would evoke the same response. Or for fun what how quickly they stammer, and stumble over themselves lol

  11. Mike

    This list is spot on! I work for an American Motorcycle Co for 15 yrs now. Some Diva was playing on the radio and a coworker said “Hey, this is your song!” I stopped in my tracks and glared at him saying ” Why is this MY song, cause I’m gay? Then just walked away! People have No idea!!!

  12. McIntosh

    I get #5 alot since I’m so masc , ,,then str8 girls be like I can turn u str8 , ,,which I’ve been with both sexes…PPL are so shallow minded…f.o.h.

  13. HornyHRMan

    I’m agree with MistrFistr. I don’t know any straight people that stupid, either, and if I did I’d be asking myself “why am I hanging around with these stupid people?”

  14. Victor

    The dumbest ever thing can a str8 comes up with is ”i dont care if ur gay as long as u dont mess up with me”. Well let me tell u smtg, we gay guys have a taste and a type. Not every men calls our attention.

  15. Roy

    The only thing I hate to hear is I’m a bottom LOL .Not enough I’m a top . Music type is meaningless. I don’t normally pay attention to what others have to say about gays.

  16. Melvin

    I have a question How do you address married same sex partners? would it be John and spouse Jim or John and partner JIm? Do they share one name like hetrosexual couples Mr.&Mrs.John Jones? or would it be Mr. John Jones and Mr. Jim smith?

    The fist question “Who the girl” I believe is Who gets fucked in arise most of the time.

  17. That Guy

    1. Str8 men always think that gay men will “come on” to them.
    2. Why do str8 people always reminding gay people that their gay? As if we don’t know that already. Must I remind them that they’re str8 everyday?

  18. Norm DePluiME

    any way one cold write a contributing blog?…moderator, admin, person in charge, etc…feel free to email me an answer, or send to adam4adam mailbox, thanks…

  19. HornyDog

    I agree with Sam…as for the top ten, I don’t know many people that stupid to ask those most of those questions. I do agree that if asked out of ignorance instead of malice you have the opportunity to educate

  20. Well

    I think most people on here are actually choosing to “be gay” or actually just deciding they like the sex enough and it’s easy as can be to get laid compared to finding a woman.

  21. Mark

    When you comment on the sexiness of a lady and someone says “but you’re gay, how would you know?” Just because I’m gay doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate the beauty of the opposite sex, idiot.

  22. Edward

    Amazing compilation of adages. The older I get, the more I see men all wear the label (gay)….and I deplore labels, to some degree. After all we ARE made up of two chromosomes. Those who decry the “gay” at every turn have serious malajustments about their own “degree” of their sexual preferences.

  23. Justin

    It’s odd. Most of any of those questions don’t bother me. I thought this was going to be questions/comments gay men hate to hear…from other gay men. Which are almost always more annoying for me.

  24. Gabriel

    #9: gaydar….lol I thought mine was broken er needed batteries cuz I can’t tell. I’m always attracted to straight guys.

    #5: you don’t act gay. If it’s a guy….come visit my bedroom and I’ll prove it to you.

    Lol I come across these often. Not really stupid, but then again I love in Wisconsin hahahaha

  25. Your mom

    That fact that you had to publish this FOR OTHER GAY MEN to read proves that while Fags are tired of hearing this bullshit, the stereotype is still true for the majority of you flaunting your antics for the rest of the world to see.

    Love,

    Mom.

  26. Rob

    I can’t believe the colossal chips you guys have on your shoulders, and that includes you Dave. People ask stupid questions. All people do, gay and straight. Just get over it and move on. If you choose to answer the question, teach them that their question is offensive, or naive, or whatever. So stop ragging on how annoying a bunch of questions are. I find how mean and cruel gay men can be toward each other more annoying than any question!

  27. mark

    actually, dave, your reactions to your list of your top 10 things you hate to hear aren’t even close to the top 10 things gay people say to other gay people….we are our own worst enemies..

  28. mark

    and your reactions are the ‘bitchy gay’ shit most people, straight, gay, stray, bi, whatever — really find annoying..and all that does is solidify those ‘ignorant’ people and their perception of homosexuals…let’s do the top 10 things the gay community should do to change the way others generalize us as — the rampant drug abuse, sex addiction, in-fighting, and sabatoging actions we are guilty of every day…i for one could give two shits about what ANYone thinks of me, gay or straight or human or otherwise

  29. Dan Alan

    I was struck by 2 things reading this post. First, straight people haven’t cornered the market on stupid. Cause I could make up a list of things black people hate to hear. These things being stupid questions coming from white people. Second, some of these questions come from the narrow images of gay people promoted and perpetuated by the “gay media” which actually represents such an extremely narrow segment of gay people. For example, in an article in Next magazine I read “The gays just love Lady Ga Ga”! Or in another Next mag article we are informed of the “higher levels of homophobia in the black & Latin communities”. I know that the white person/s who wrote the article did no research or quoted any other research. Nor would they have spent any significant time in the black & Latin communities. They were just parroting a long held belief that I feel is based on the premise that less educated and intelligent people tend to be more biased on social issues such as race, sexuality, gender, etc. And of course everyone knows that blacks and Latinos are less intelligent, right? What really said it all however was the 3 real life examples they used to illustrate their point. 3 men’s stories of coming out to inital family rejection and eventually acceptance. In not one of the stories was the period between rejection and acceptance exceptional or drawn out. In fact for at least 2 of them it ranged from 6 months to a year. That is on the shorter end of the scale. But the writers of the article couldn’t even see that because they were predisposed to and intent on revealing some negative truth about people who they view negatively beecause of the racist ideas they were raised with. It never occours to them that they may not be qualified to write about other communities, issues, experiences. They presume to know everything and don’t even need to consult with people of/from the communities being reported on. This is how people come to be ignorant and ask “stupid” questions.

  30. Exmil

    I can boil it down to ONE thing that covers all these things..what dont they want to hear? The truth. It attacks their vanity, ego, fractured and fragile sense of reality, and may make them feel like they need to be responsible and not a perpetual unrequited victim who simply cannot see anything but everyone elses intolerance while they ignore their own massive front of it.

  31. Tom

    I’ve encountered some of these questions. They don’t bother me–especially #5. The best reaction I ever got was, “You’re gay?! I just thought you were Jewish!”


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