Love : Partnership Or Love?
A blog response to last week’s Valentine’s Day observances brought a strong statement to the foreground… “Romantic love is what draws us near, but partnering love is what keeps us together.” VERY PROFOUND!
The response reminds us that a century ago families often consisted of a father, mother, and a host of children….certainly at least half a dozen! Those families incorporated marriages with enough children that they could provide labor for their farms or family businesses. My grandfather and grandmother had nine children of which eight survived to be adults. The entire family was in the partnership—not just the father and mother.
I am sure there was romance between fathers and mothers of earlier times or there would not have been large families. Their love was expressed in many ways—not just at bedtime. So, partnerships and love were co-mingled. Many couples lived long, productive and rewarding lives without divorce. I witnessed my grandparents openly showing their affection to one another as long as they were alive. They had the spirit of Valentine’s Day every day.
A4A members may be divided along the 60/40 split between hook ups and relationships but each group probably remembers the family-instilled warmth of partnerships that included love.
What do you recall within your extended family?
Counselor4U
There are different types of love. I recall typical family love in my family. Partnership was a completely different love. I use past tense because he lost a battle with alcoholism, lingering injuries, and major personal trauma both professional/personal. I met a man in May 2011 that had really gone through it even though he projected the nothing’s wrong exterior. I moved in with him in August 2011-October 2013. In that space of time I experienced both the best and worst relationship events I’ve ever had. Most that knew us questioned why I remained but all I can say is I loved him and only wanted him to get things together with himself. Even though separated I visited him weekly between October 2013-May 2014 and the weekly decline I saw was extremely emotional to see. We loved each other dearly and even though he encouraged me to move on I stuck through. Nothing would make me happier than to see him again but I’m finding more peace knowing that the suffering is done. My plans are to move on of course but all I can say is now I can identify real love much easier now and don’t waste time at all with something that doesn’t feel right. Best of luck guys. Find a partner.
Partnership and love aren’t necessarily connected. My maternal grandparents (Italian) were very affectionate towards each other their entire lives. They had three children. My paternal grandparents (German), also remained married until they died, but I never witnessed any love between them. They were married simply because she became pregnant. Had four children who all worked the dairy farm.
I am the 8th of 8 children. My parents were together from 16 years old till my mothers death at 87 years old. My mom welcomed my partners as she did all my siblings partners. My first real boyfriend was her childhood bestfriend’s son, ironic but funny. Our world will never see relationships like my parents on a wide scale, but I know what I’m looking for, what I grew up with. A good husband and loving partner.
I have 3 sisters and 2 brothers. We did as much farming as my dad did!! Not only on our farm, but we also put up hay every summer at a nearby farm. I also helped with the taking care of cattle at a different farm, feeding twice a day while the family was out of town.
Hard work? Yep. But a family that works together, stays together 🙂
love that pic ,love that shirt , love that ass !
That is hard to say I am looking for love but I think just having someone around would be better
I don’t think that a relationship between two people being characterized as ‘love’ or ‘a partnership’ is exclusive. In fact, even suggesting they are mutually exclusive shows how simplistically and rigidly people often conceptualize of relationships in general. Love is an emotion – partnership is an act. You don’t choose to be in love with someone, or not be in love (though you may choose to act as though you are, or choose to pretend that you are). You usually choose to be in a partnership, though, otherwise it would likely better be described as something less mutually beneficial. While partnering connotes each member gives his/her duties and benefits of being in the partnership thought, that also doesn’t mean it yields a more lasting relationship or is somehow ‘better’ than one based on pure love. I have known couples who have fallen out of love and try to engage in partnership, but without success. That sense of love was important to their individual happiness; just agreeing to cooperate, even though it was mutually beneficial was insufficient to allow both of them to be happy together. Love, on the other hand, is an extremely powerful emotion, and when experiencing it, people are often capable of incredible acts of selflessness and tolerance (just to name two), that would, in the context of a partnership, probably not occur, as one party would be putting into it far more than her or she would reasonably ever see in return.
I would settle for nothong less than both from someone I am willing to spend my life with. At that level, I expect monogamy,and honesty as well.
If I can be honest and monogamous, so can anybody. It is only a matter of how much you respect your “family”
Pj, I couldn’t agree more. I’m currently in my early 40’s and just coming out to my wife, as I embark on the scary journey, I have to say, I’m hoping to find that one true love! SIMILIAR to what I have had many years with my wife, a best friend, confidant and someone to explore this world and life with!
I have it all with my wife, except the fact that I’m gay, I guess deep down I must have always know just chose to bury it for all this time. It’s out she knows and I very supportive. I know we will remind best friends, I just hope that I can find that other best friend that I can share a passionate sexually loving life with!
I have come so far already and atill have a ways to go but, I’m not settling for anything less than true love. It’s what I want and coming out to my wife, finding and talking to others like me, I know I’m not alone!
That said,
I can’t be the only man wanting to find true love with another man!!
And the benefits of being with one guy, exploring the crazy side excited me
Thanks for reading!
Cheers to finding IT ALL!
Love ebbs and flows, but a partnership is quite easy to maintain.
I think that it’s extremely nostalgic and a little nieve to say that everyone’s grandparents had great relationships and the gay experience is just beginning to be legalized in the western world. Male sexuality is quite different from female sexuality so lgbt relationships are different. No relationship is all peaches and cream (straight or gay). All romantic relationships start off with lust but the one’s that have something substantial to hang on too are the relationships that last… straight or gay.
*Naive not nieve…lol
A “faithful husband and loyal other half.Quote un quote….