Speak Out : ” I Like Real Men”
I was browsing on A4A and saw a profile that said “looking for real men” and “I need someone that can take it raw like a real man” and “ I want a real man with facial hair” …
I was like what the heckkk? I think I’m a real man, I have a cock and balls and when I look at myself in the mirror, yes, I’m a man. I dont have much facial hair, a beard itches my sensitive dry skin but I’m still a man. I don’t take it raw because I don’t feel the need to catch STDs, still a man!
I noticed this “trend” of men thinking they are more of a man because they grew their beard or stop shaving their chest and balls. What’s this comedy show all about? We all recognize you from 8 years ago smooth all over and shaved face, dancing on the stage of the club with your lip gloss and Abercrombie tee. Or this guy at my gym with a beard long like Santa Claus. He even changed the way he walks and dresses, his voice is an octave lower. What happened Santa? Are you transforming into a gorilla?
I have nothing against hairy guys, I love them, but not because you let your ass crack hair grow, stopped taking your daily shower and take it raw because of PrEP that you are more manly than this freshly shaved business man wearing a navy suit who still uses condom.
What do you guys think?
Dave
I personally prefer men with facial hair, I don’t have anything against men who shave their mustache and beard,but that look is boyish in my opinion I like a masculine man with good hygiene,and I noticed more men are using prep as a free pass to flaunt their unprotected sexcapades around as if protects from other stds.In conclusion men with well groomed facial and a masculine voice and personality are a turn on to me and as a man that has his preference on what he likes and don’t like I wouldn’t date or get involved with a man with boyish charm as if he’s naturally masculine,well groomed and has great hygiene I’m attracted to that.
I agree, Dave. A guy just being himself and not trying to emulate what he believes a man is goes along way for me. Also it helps if the guy isn’t swishing his ass when he is out in public, helps being a man in my eyes, I believe most call that being str8t, not swishing or acting like a girl.
A man is defined in more ways than one.
With that said, a real man would know better not to be bitter about something as silly as this.
To me wanting a real man has nothing to do with safe or unsafe sex. I simply want a man that acts like a man. If I wanted a fem then I’d go find a woman. That being said, just be yourself! There’s some body for every body in this world.
I can and have overhauled auto engines. Does that make me a “real” man? I like outdoor adventure (e.g.: whitewater rafting the Grand Canyon). Does that make me a “real” man? When I was in my 30s, I was muscular enough to be on a beefcake calendar. Does that make me a “real” man? I competed in International Mr Leather two decades ago and finished in 4th place. Does that make me a “real” man? I have a full beard. Does that make me a “real” man?
But I sew. Does that make me NOT a “real” man? I like Broadway musicals. Does that make me NOT a “real” man? I shave my dick and ass. Does that make me NOT a “real” man? I have some decidedly feminine mannerisms. Does that make me NOT a “real” man? I have excellent skills in grammar and writing, and I refuse to speak slang. Does that make me NOT a “real” man?
The simple fact is that people who use terms like “real men” are projecting their own insecurities onto others. Rather admit some level of discomfort with themselves, they fixate on and reject some perceived flaw in others so as to dissociate themselves from that flaw. “If I like only real men, then I must be a real man myself.” It is a classic Freudian ego defense mechanism.
I guess we are all real men, unless you are an adbot. If he has a hairy ass and can fix my car, then he’s a real man to me.
I don’t like navy suits sir. I prefer heather grey.
These guys are just saying they want a masculine man NOT an effeminate gay man. I know the PC police do not want to hear this but many gay men are NOT into effeminate guys.
Exactly what defines a real man? A man who plays sports and drinks beer and scratches his nuts every 10 seconds and works out 24/7 and drinks disgusting protein shakes? I think not. A real man is comfortable in his own skin and is not a closet case like 90% of the guys here on A4A. I am a real man. I know who I am and make no apologies for it.
I used to be bothered a lot by exclusionary language in profiles (no blacks, no fems, no fats, no whatever), but after reading several of these Speak Out Posts, I can’t help but wonder why care. If someone isn’t interested for whatever reason or you don’t meet their standards whatever they are just move on.
I think what it’s all about is we all want the right of first refusal. We feel that we should be able to restrict people from contacting us based on their race, face pics, or the number of days they go to the gym, but how dare they do the same to us.
I’m somewhere between fem and masc. I personally prefer fem guys. Shaved smooth all over is the hottest. And yes I take it raw….
This is definitely about effeminacy, not just grooming, hobbies and willingness to spread disease. I’m not super-butch, but compared with most of the gay men I know, I’m a great deal less effeminate than the “norm” for our group. This said, there is no greater dealbreaker than effeminacy… if I wanted a woman, I’d be straight.
I kind of like the insinuation – not because a man with hair is more of a real man…but because I don’t want to my pubes and I prefer other men who don’t. This trend a few years ago where it had become an expectation that men shave…or guys who wouldn’t meet a guy who didn’t shave was really just disgusting to me…I’m not that old…but it’s very recent that men started shaving…it’s a fad, if you like it great, but I disagree that you shouldn’t be meeting guys who don’t. My response to someone requesting that I shave was always “I don’t have a vagina…I have a dick and hair belongs on it!” So it’s ok that guys shave, it’s ok and preferable to have hair because that’s natural…but rejecting guys because they haven’t shaved is going a bit too far. So I don’t think not having hair makes someone a real man…but I appreciate it as a response to the idiot who won’t meet up with guys who have hair…because they don’t understand what a fad is. It’s time to move away from the mindset of shaving pubes as being the “standard” when it totally is not & should never be.
When i think of raw i think of no lube lol. Like ima man no wait ima fucking manand get that right right here. Yea ima bottom but i guarentee you couldnt even tell i was bi. It all blils down to everyone is looking for that one guy that fits. So we make our profile (like a bait hook) to “catch” the eye of the right person. Who cares what the profile says except for the one that reads it and is like heck yea, thats exactly what i want or who i am. Dont get bent outta shape cuz u dont fit the standards. And btw i dont shave but i trim everywhere except my face its clean
You got it right, Andrew. I like men that act like me. Not men that act like they could set off a sprinkler system with their flame. I can see the hottest guy on the planet, but if he opens his mouth and silk purses fall out, its all over for me.
I don’t think it has anything to do with their own personal insecurities. I think it has more to do with wanting someone that is not feminine in their demeanor. And I agree. He doesn’t need to be macho and do manly type things, I just don’t want someone that “prances around” rather than walks, calls all his male friends girl or girlfriend, has his toenails painted after having a pedicure, and for lack of a better word acts like a queen.
I think they are trying to counter this feminization of men taking place in our society. The true masculine male is under assault pretty much everywhere. Some guys are saying they still want that brawny, hairy, bearded masculine guy. To them that is the true image and definition of a man. Nothing wrong with that and it should not be seen as an insult to anyone. Are we turning into a college campus here of whiny kids who need safe spaces because they read or hear something they disagree with?
This ad is similar to mine. I want a real man. What that entails is a man who does not act like a woman. A man with Fem tendencies. I am bi. I can and do date women as well as men. I don’t want a man who acts like a woman.
If masculinity is determined by such stuff as beards n hair, NANNY GOATS have those and they aren’t even males (surprise!!!) I understand that people have preferences but cos I don’t fit them, don’t mean I ain’t the best thing that’ll ever happen to you.
BTW, over grown butt crack hair and pubic hair may be cool to u, but I’d rather my hacking cough were not hair related cos I gave a BJ to someone somewhere who shud av kept it down.
I like masculine men, I also take it raw. But to each his own, there are plenty of men who don’t go for guys like me, and there are plenty who do. To each his own. Do who you like and like who you do.
This Blog features a lot of submissions from guys struggling to find there niche in gay society. You should be happy with Yourself, and leave others to their own peculiarities….Case Closed.
A real man to me is someone not afraid to show who he is as a person regardless of typical stereotype or cliche or pressure to conform to certain expectation whether from bigotry or gay subculture. A real man needs to be brave enough to show his face in a dating or hooking up instead of hiding under some pretense especially in gay sites already among guys. I know most guys here are gay or at least having gay sex but we are still real GUYS or real MEN regardless of whether we have high pitch voice or a sweater of hair. We all come in different sizes and color that make us unique men. A real man to someone coming from a different continent might require more from his personality or his action in interaction with others but to others in America is just simple superficial media molded expectation of what a real man supposes to look like. Just because you can grow a beard that doesn’t make you a real man and just because you can walk in heels that doesn’t make you less than a real man either.
“To each his own.”
I really don’t get why so many gay men take profile text written by strangers so seriously. We all have different ideas and ideals when it comes to manliness. If a guy equates muscle, facial hair, athleticism, etc., with masculinity, that’s his prerogative. If you don’t meet his standards of masculinity, that simply means he’s not the guy for you. Move on to the next profile, and don’t worry about his preferences. We’re all entitled to like what we like and to get/request what we like.
Real men come in all types! I love the hairy guys, but have seen my share of really hot masculine smooth guys as well. And using a condom does not take away from manliness to me. I don’t find fem types sexy at all. I’ve been with women and men and if I wanted feminine, I’d stick to the women. But that won’t happen.
I find the real Man question is kind of vague to tell you the truth. Are we trying to use the the measurement of Masculinity that has been handed down to us by society, or is being your true self enough? Each of us has qualities that attract other Men, so I feel that should be ok. Placing another hurdle we have to jump over, isn’t really worth all the hub bub. There are guys of all strips that can be considered attractive, so the standard is wide open. I don’t have a set type of guy that excite me, but what does float my boat, may sink yours, so searching for the Man you like is pretty real, Man!
It’s so funny how fragile masculinity is. I thought straight guys were bad, but gay guys are worse when it comes to “defending their masculinity.” And why is that? Is it bc some of those guys are the same guys who think that’s it’s ok to say “no blacks, no Asians”? It’s all closet racism and sexism.
It’s like it’s a new trend. I myself have always been a bigger hairy guy, because it’s who I am and what I’m comfortable with. Not because someone says it’s the next hot thing! I’ve also seen guys, who used to dance and prance wearing lip gloss turn into wolf men. My point is do it because you feel like it’s you not because someone says it’s cute!
I prefer guys who act like guys, but I’ve also had some really hot sex with more fem guys (turned out to be great tops) too. If a dude is hot he’s hot. Facial hair,or anywhere else does not make a real man,just a hairy one. Of one is just going to meat at another guy’s place to shag,take what you get. It’s not about being able to change the oil on a Porsche. It’s about knowing who’s crankshaft is getting lubed!
Help. I want an “unreal” man.
Hating on men for preferring masculine guys is just as bad as hating on guys that aren’t masculine. As for me, I prefer effeminate men – I think it’s hot. But when a man acts like an obnoxious cunt it’s a huge turnoff – it’s not temperament, it’s having an intolerable personality. I like girls, too (the Kinsey scale is a real thing – at least for me) and I wouldn’t want to have anything to do with a women that acts just a bitchy.
My definition of a real man is that he walks, talks and acts like a man. He can have hair all over and still be a big queen. If his voice is high pitched I will pass regardless of his looks. If he swishes when he walks and lisps when he talks I will pass. A real man (gay or straight) will come off as a straight man.
Real men don’t worry about what other people think a real man is.
I was always clean shaven until one of my coworkers suggested I grow a beard. She and I talked it over and figured out a nice cut and style and I did it to see if it would work. Well, it did! And now guys tell me I’m handsome and there’s a masculinity that the beard kind of drew out; just different features that I didn’t notice clean shaven.
I don’t think it changed any of my views on masculinity and femininity, and I don’t think any of that matters, but my confidence went up a little and I enjoy wearing the beard. It isn’t always about hiding insecurities; sometimes a different style features something about you that you didn’t even realise was there.
Poor is the man who’s pleasure depends on another.
If a fembot go-go boy choose to now appear like
a vintage Colt studio model or Malboro Man circa
1977, i am so thoroughly down with tht concept.
The litmus test will be if there is any genuine
virilty behind all that body hair. Or if he is
merely basic.
I won’t be holding my breath for that one.
Sigh…..
A Man’s Man… No Rainbow or leather Male Gym Rat. Just common Man as John Conely I am a Common Man.
I like the hairy guys – don’t think guys need to become hairy just because I tend to get attracted to that – guys need to just be themselves and who they are.
hi, I think Kevin just nail it … fyi, i have that kind of profile for a cpl of reasons, first (like many had mentioned before) i am a gay man that is attracted to men that look like men ( if you are plucking your eyebrows thinner than a woman, or walk more fem that runway models, and won’t have any body hair (waxed, shaved or naired ) then PASS ME OVER and save boh the time… why do i have to have a very PC profile here when sometimes this profiles show body parts ?
people say that when someone asks for real men, that they are only based on insecurities, well in my case i wanna get naked nor fcked and yes loaded by a man that feels like a man, and not like a bad copy of a woman, with 5 o’clock shadow on their chests and that for every 5 words coming of their mouth 3 are, ‘girl, ‘she’ referring to a male friend.
i only say this because the ones that get so worked out or hateful are those who i described above…
And until i wrote ‘HAIRY & BEARDED PREFERED’, the majority of guys that would hit me where guys not older than 25, smooth and asking me to fuck them…
then i wrote over 30, HAIRY & BEARDED PREFERED, pics a must, and all of a sudden i get mails from the kind of men i am attracted to…
And even then … WHAT IS THIS ?? ARE YOU GONNA RUN TO YOUR MOMMY AND TELL HER THE MEAN BOYS DON’T LIKE YOU ?
GROW A PAIR (wait that’s the problem, MOVE ON,
and stop whining ..after all this is a free site, in a free country with freedom of choice…
I think this whole Blog Subject it Bullshit. I am a Man, I have a longer manscaped goatee. Shaved head, tatts. I work for Harley-Davidson. And I own a tool box.
All anyone on A4A wants a boy/girl. I have been in may magazines (Bear, 100% Beef, International Leatherman) Gay guys are intimidated be me.
My look is judged before the guy actually finds out my outside isn’t the same as the inside. I am low key, goofy, funny, But all anyone sees is a big biker guy who doesn’t look like a bottom.
But alas, here I am!
Real men understand that guys have preferences and that sometimes a guy you find attractive doesn’t reciprocate the feeling. When a real man encounters that, he shrugs his shoulders and moves on. He doesn’t wallow in insecurities and try to convince anyone or the work in general that those preferences are wrong. Real men are who they are, like what they like, and keep looking til they find a match and let the rest of the world alone.
Exactly what is considered a “Real Man”? There are manly, rugged men, and there are feminine looking and acting men, but they’re still real men. They were born with a penis and scrotum and also produce sperm for the purpose of reproducing with females to make offspring. I’m been a cock toting firefighter for almost 30 years, I look like a man, walk and talk like a man, act masculine.
But I love to fuck the vagina and here’s the twist, I like to suck cock, swallow cum and get a nice cock sliding in and out of my man hole. So, please enlighten me on a “Real Man”.
A real man is a man that doesn’t allow himself to fall into others shallow stereotypes. Hes smooth, hairy, tall, short, big framed or thin,etc…A real man follows his own inner self, not a follower of the shallow beings.
I grow my beard on and off, mostly I’m looking for the mtn man look for hunting our camping trips. The test of the time I prefer to have clean shaven. I have never been very hairy anywhere else and so it simply is what it is. I am Masculine and a man among men in my behavior and actions.
Most subs who want my attention want me for my actions and not my hair count. But in truth I’ve noticed I do get more action when I’m sporting the beard. As for raw sex, nope… No piece of ass is worth being sick from.
Funny, I still think I’m a man…
If you were born with a dick and still have a dick, then you are a real man, no matter what. Unless, you are Caitlyn Jenner.
hey Bottomoral4top you are mistaken on the fact that NO ONE is doubting the sex, nobody is saying they don’t have a penis or balls, the ‘Real Men’ is referring to the way you behave, every day n night, alone or with friends,… so don’t get angry over if the REAL MEN are males or females. noone said they were females, what i said was to be naked with me, i wanna be with a man that feels and acts like a man and will never find me in bed with a FEM BOY/ QUEEN that would feel like being in bed with a woman
in conclusion be who you are and want whatever you want, b just be yourself! There’s some body for every body in this world.
And if i didn’t write what i want , i was constantly bombarded with mails of twinks, fem,guys, being polite,answered thank you, then again and again, i answer ‘not a match’ and all of a sudden i get attacked by this ‘queens’ because i didn’t like them…
so i went straight to the point … ‘REAL MEN / HAIRY & BEARDED PREFERED’ don’t like it, cry all you want, i don’t own you anything … live and let live
Dating sites are where we are our truest selves. If you think there’s something wrong with the guy who prefers masculine traits in their partner, just find a different guy!
to each their own. I’ve been with some almost naturally smooth men (Latino, Asian) both races have their smoothies and hairy men. I’ts Not how much or how little hair they have on their bodies it’s how they act and how they carry themselves. I read here if they open their mouth and a purse falls out that’s not a deal breaker with me but if they are wearing womens undies that’s the deal breaker for me.
UNLESS THEY ARE CLOSE TO PASSABLE!!!
Recently I was seeing a twink 20yrs old first time we met he was smooth and OMG what a hot time we had. In the times since ha has stopped shaving and now he’s maturing and getting hairy and OMG the heat is still there. I just wish he would come around much more often.
And even more recently a blast from the past has reappeared in my life. A VERY HOT latino friend of whom I’m very fond of. He is naturally almost smooth, his pits a thin glory trail going from his navel to his fine cock n balls he trims closely around his cock n balls but his beautiful ass hole is covered with fine dark hair, and OMG I love to bury my face in his ass. And one time he wanted to shave me around my cock n balls n ass OMG did that turn into a hot session we ended up in the shower. I’m a average joe type guy kinda hairy tho normally not shave but if my lover wants me smooth and is willing to take care of my junk and do the job more than happy to let him shave me. And I have to admit it does feel good when it is smooth
BTW Justin I enjoyed myself that afternoon in the hotel
call lets do it again….DDDD
GEE dave, how about men that dont prance around like fairies with the whole limp wrist and girly expressions and high femminine voices? How about men who dont say “like” every 5 seconds or dont use such words as gurl or man pussy. Men who hunt shoot guns or ride atvs in the mud and dont worry about the hair getting mussed up or tearing their pussy black painted nails? Men who wear jeans, not skinny fag jeans, men who work and sweat but not because they are having faux drama crash over somemone elses business being put out in texts. How about men who go to the gym to improve but not be skanky hoes dick gazing others? How about men that look like men and not naked bare prepubescent jail bait boys that can act like adults istead of the same mentioned preteens? I realize that men acting like men can be alien to you urban metrosexuals. Its no wonder why real men that like men dont come out of the closet, because of the expectation that we would have to wea4 panties and prance about like the rest of you.
Its a mantra that resembles that of the Taliban.
Interesting responses..I’m gonna Co-sign Andrew, Not Nelly, Del, Todd & Mark.
Just to way-in on this subject. I like men to be shaved, but a little bit of pit hair and ass hair is nice. kind holds the man-smell/pheromones that puts me in a daze… For myself, I’m shaved smooth, including my pits, I like the feeling and in no way am I feminine….
Hey I like real men. Beard no beard that is not a deal breaker for me. What is a deal breaker is shaved body’s. If you have a hairy body leave it alone. To me no man can be too hairy.
A bit of over the top rambling and psychobabble here. When I think of “real” men, I do tend to think of guys who don’t manscape, as pubic hair is normal (and hot) and, perhaps, aren’t perfumed. That doesn’t mean abandoning routine hygiene: washing/shampooing/cutting nails/combing hair. Funk is gross, but natural scent is hot (particularly during sex). Skin2skin is a matter of reconciliation to the possible consequences, and it’s understandable to want to use protection, but tiring to scold those who choose not to do so, unless they are denying the potential ramifications. A full beard is nice, provided it’s washed, and cleaned, and combed. I think alot of guys are weiry of men that overly groom every possible part of their bodies, which is a bit narcassitic (sp).
Man. Talk about guys with issues. A man is a man- we come in all varieties. Tall,medium,short, hairy,smooth-in between; light to dark eyes, clean shaven to scruff to backwoods beards (by the way: the whole lumberjack beard look is SOOO 2-3 years ago and VERY passe;it’s the straight men(late adopters) who’ve ruined the whole look anyway);slim,skinny to steroided overly muscled; tops,versatile to bottoms; vanilla to kinky sex; I say: “to each his own” and “whatever floats your boat”. Afterall we’re hopefully grown up,adult men and another man’s choices are NOT going to ruffle out feathers. And I don’t mid a “no”. I don’t like all of the time wasting games behind some guys bs.
Damn you guys sure seem to hate fems. Maybe this is why I can’t date one…. you got them afraid to come out of hiding, NEWS FLASH: all fems and transgenders don’t flame, they too have careers like you sometimes. Gays are turning into worse members of the LGBT community. I’m glad I still like pussy or I would be sexless. Wake up guys… live and let live.