Health : Do You Love Yourself?
I’ve been seeing my psychologist for many years now. I started seeing her when me and my ex broke up 6 years ago, it was a rough time for me. But I kept visiting her weekly because even though the the mental issues I had back then are resolved, I’ve got others today. Today I see her because I’m trying to be a better person, to love myself more to be able to love others more. She gave me a book to read this week ; The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are.
I have to say that this book is helping me a lot. I’m not done reading it but I’m taking so many notes and I suggest you all to read it. It definitely helps you (and also give you tools) to learn how to love yourself, even though you are imperfect. You know we all try to look our best, to be the best at school, to be the best in sports, at work etc for others to say “wow, you are good buddy”! But we don’t need to be the best. We can try to be good and eat well and be a good employee and a good lover, but when you become obsessed with perfection (which by the way, doesn’t exist) you put sooooooo much pressure on yourself and when you are not as good as you would like you to be, you hate yourself saying “OMG you are bad” or “you are ugly” or “you are fat”. We need to learn that we are NOT what we accomplish and learn that we are imperfect.
Anyways, I’m not done reading it yet, but after 104 pages, I’ve learned so much things that will help me a better me. I strongly suggest you to read it. Let me know if you read it or if you will read it…
Have a good Sunday!
Dave
Interesting post! I have been working on self acceptance lately and it is an eye-opener. There are so many ways that gay men are told that they are not okay and worse yet the ways that we unconscious incorporate that into our lives.
Examples of that are in the way we present ourselves or describe ourselves. Straight-acting: Why do guys use that description. It is a rejection of self and should mean that you go around pretending that you are attracted to women to not be considered gay and what that “means”. A healthier way to put that would be saying that you don’t engage in public displays of affection or are not stereo-typically effeminate. The concept strait-acting itself is just indicative of personal shame. When a guy is out that doesn’t mean that he has to tell others what he does in bed with his partner all it means is that he is attracted to men, period, end of story. No further information need be given. Saying that it is “nobody’s business” is just a way to avoid dealing with feelings of personal shame. It’s not that you have to announce it to the world just that it should be treated like an attribute like which hand you use for writing.
Thanks for the resource, Dave. I’ll have to pick up the book and use it in my journey through life.
thanks dave I ordered the book
When someone is the way they are, they are perfect. When someone isn’t the way they are, they are flawed. Who they are can change, second by second…going from perfection to perfection.
No one will ever say or do anything other than what they say or do next…no matter how long they may think about it. The perfect response for them will be the one that comes up. The question is, does it work or not for personal well-being?
That being said, I get upset with myself when I think I’ve failed a friend.
A Japanese National Treasure is a bowl…with an imperfection. Perfect…being exactly as it is at the time.
I rather love one another.
Another great book is, “The Search for Significance: Seeing Your True Worth Through God’s Eyes” by Robert McGee. I have always struggled with low self-esteem and this book was very helpful.
No I do not love myself, never have.
Loving yourself is so over rated. 😉
All Ying and no Yang is unreasonable.
I would have to say I don’t most of the time. I also don’t talk about personal issues with anybody. When i am work, i am there to work. I do not trust anyone there enough to tell them what I have been and still am going through the past two years. I just do my time and when I am not working I prefer to just stay home by myself with my 3 dogs and no longer keep in contact with friends and family. I would just rather stay home and deal with it on my own and not depend on anybody for any kind of support.
LET ME OUTTA THIS GODDAMNED BIRDCAGE !
I agree with Eric! I have never loved myself, ever! I can help being jealous about what my body isn’t. It’s kind of like young girls looking at fashion magazines and wondering why they don’t look like that! It’s the same for me! I see men in porn and wonder why I don’t have a hairy body, a huge dick, good looking or shoot a huge load. It’s because of this jealousy that I don’t love myself, and because of that, is why no one will love me! I am 50yo and have never had another man tell me they love me. I’ve never had a BF and that makes me feel unloveable, and it’s just another reason that I don’t like myself!
I feel living in a world that is full of conditions that aid in the aspect of self hate it’s only natural to be combative with self love. Life and love are the same. If you are still here, still alive, and walking through it no matter how the struggles may present themselves you have to love yourself enough to still be here in life. Not everyone is as positive as the next but focusing on the light will help you obtain this self love. Are there levels of how much love you can give yourself? I believe so. You can never love anything to much. Now, if you have no love for you then I feel you have no life for you. So if there is still some piece of you here in this waking life then your doing the best you can and you can love yourself for that. One thing in the world I trust is time. Time never lies. Love your post and book suggestion! <3
I already had purchased this book.
I had started it, but have been sidetracked by life.
I look forward to getting back into it – it is really speaking to me and helping accept me for my true self – my bi self