Health : What’s Your Status In Your Profile?
Marketing is generally the driving force in all sales efforts; that includes the sale of one’s self.
Hooking-up online has it’s advantages: advantages that can get you laid quickly and matched with just the right guy. One of the advantages found in profiles are that they can tell you what a guy is into, where he is, what he looks like, and when he is available. Profiles are the online marketing tools of those seeking sex. When accurate and honest, a well written profile can reduce the talk required before meeting a sexual match to a couple of emails and help to ensure you have a great time with the right guy. When a profile is completed with detailed information, the information posted can effectively weed out those you are not interested in meeting, and invite those you want to meet. Profiles are great marketing tools!
When members join Adam4Adam seeking a sex partner, what goes in your profile—your marketing tool—will ultimately help to determine what happens sexually between you and other members of the site.
Profiles on Adam4Adam, as on most sex seeking sites, have the option to disclose your HIV status (blank, negative, positive, don’t know). The primary reason this field exists is to provide the option to include your HIV status, if known, under the belief that having this information is important to the health of other members and will help you find a sexual match.
The fields are clear, yet assumptions regarding any one’s status other than “positive” must be avoided. A status of negative is only as accurate as the testing method, frequency of testing, and sexual behaviors since being tested (and about 3 months before) of the person claiming to be negative.
Having HIV status in profiles is not always welcomed by all members. As I see it, there are two sides to this debate: those that believe that the field lends an unjust creditability to someone stating they are HIV-negative and those that believe that having the field is a form of risk reduction.
I believe that having an HIV status field is important. I also understand that men lie. There are most likely men that believe when someone states they are HIV-negative, that it absolutely means they are HIV-negative. In fact, there are too many variables for many sexually active men to state with no doubt that they are in fact negative and be 100% sure and accurate.
Consider this: if someone lies about their HIV status online, would they not also lie in person?
Further consider which is a more misleading statement of ‘safety’ a field on a profile or a face to face statement? What would you give more creditability, a face to face statement that “I am negative”, or a field in a profile that says negative? I would personally be more apt to believe someone who told me face to face that they are negative over what I read in a profile. HIV status, field or not, is a conversation.
One of the key issues, in my viewpoint, is not the HIV status field, but it is understanding what a statement like HIV-negative really means, especially in our “buyer beware” world of sales and marketing.
How one discloses their status is a personal choice, but disclosing your HIV status honestly is a responsibility we all share, regardless of what we know our status to be, or what we assume it to be.
Dave
What you really should be asking: Date of last HIV test?
Was it positive or negative? If positive, are you being treated (yes/no). What is current viral load (detectable/undetectable)?
A positive guy who is receiving the latest antiviral treatment and has undetectable virus is probably safer than the guy who has never been tested. Of course, there may be a period between infection and showing positive so using condoms, especially with a new guy, should always happen. We can end this during our lifetime if we ALL are smart.
Negative. I have never tested positive for anything.
I’m having a hard time with guys that claim to be “undetectable” as if that changes anything. You’re either negative or positive.
I went through holy HELL during the epidemic, including eschewing men altogether for years, to keep myself free of that damned bug, and woe be tied to ANY sonofabitch out there who tries to “stealth” me in ANY way, INCLUDING lying on some online profile. No one will get to that point, I’m sure (I’ve heard/seen it all, trust me), but I’ve already had MANY try, and MANY suffered the consequences of making such a depraved move. BE HONEST….or BE DAMNED.
My HIV & D&D status claims in my profile, I can attest as true today. When tomorrow rolls around not so sure. I feel its a valuable tool, and I posted it as a conversation starter. If a potential sexual partner doesn’t ask [I DO]. I feel its an important part of an encounter, to be honest and up front. I know that people lie.. It is my responsibility to except statements as true or not, As well as to get involved in behavior that is considered as risky. I am my own advocate for a HEALTHY sexual experience. [before anyone jumps down my throat, I have never excluded a sexual partner based on their HIV status alone]. My profile states that I’m neg. I am tested more frequently than most of my friends ie: more frequently than every 3 months. Not because I’m that promiscuous but because I’m well educated. I know it takes 2 weeks to 6 months for your body to start making HIV antibodies. Your can test negative in this window and still be infected and you can infect any partner if you engage in unsafe sex. I would no more point a gun and pull the trigger not knowing if it were loaded or not, as to engage in any sexual practice with out knowing and informing a partner of my status. would expect the same from a partner. Also know that anyone who is positive and on a drug regiment that has been medically determined to be undetectable is as safe as I am to have sex with. Want to read some interesting opinions about posting your status click on the link above. Health : D&D Free,UB2……WTF. some wanted me to re-write my profile, some upset me to the point I wish I could chat 1 on 1 with the respondent. and others made me laugh. For anyone wondering even thou I’m neg and free of any sexually transmitted diseases (today) my profile doesn’t exclude anyone and I mean anyone from being a potential sexual partner, any race, ethnicity, body type, age, or HIV status. Its my responsibility to set limits for what,who or if. Its the potential partners as well to make it his decision.
sign me: Mature Bottom seeking… BE safe and get home alive.
Thank you for this I do not disclose my status online cause people for already accuse you of being “positive” and 2 the back lash of If I was to post it anyway. People are so mean and nasty still about HIV it Automatically says oh he was a slut a whore and etc. when most people on here have slept with a pos person and didn’t even know it. And some are pos not disclosing before sexual intercourse. End the stigma we end the battle of HIV. Over it rather be alone then unhappy
I am the same physician whose post regarding the undetectable status and PrEP was featured on the blog not long ago. What I neglected to add back then was my opinion that A4A should just do away with the labeling of HIV status altogether in light of my main point that all it does is give a FALSE SENSE OF SECURITY and to stigmatize people who have been proven by research to be extremely unlikely to spread the virus while encouraging risky behavior from people who DO spread it because either: 1.) they are aware of their positive status but for some reason have decided to forego (or cannot obtain) medication and to lie about their status or 2.) they are NOT aware that they have the virus yet because they don’t get tested or got tested during the “window period” (which I already discussed) or contracted the infection after getting tested negative. It is worth noting that the latter are actually even more dangerous because they form the majority of the infectious population (the undetectable population are almost certainly not spreading it) and are also more likely to have bareback sex due precisely to that false sense of security that the negative result (or ignorance) provides.
Because of all the foregoing factors, guys are wont to lie and, hence, the self-reported statuses are, at worst, a farce and, at best, unreliable, which in itself should already be reason enough to just eliminate it altogether and put a warning that ANYBODY CAN GIVE YOU HIV instead. The only way we can stop the virus from spreading is to assume EVERYBODY is a potential host. Everybody should be wearing condoms for every sexual encounter, every HIV-negative person who can afford PrEP (or has insurance coverage for it) should be taking it and every HIV-positive person with detectable loads should be taking meds. (And yes, this includes those who think they are in “monogamous” relationships if we are to go by statistics unfortunately.) Should that change if a guy you’re hooking up with claims he is HIV-negative? No. So why even bother asking the question and telling the answer? The question should only matter if the answer should change your behavior. And unfortunately, answers do change behaviors! (e.g. “You’re clean, right? I am, too. I just got tested lat month.” And we all know what comes next.)
Bottom line: The purpose of HIV testing is NOT to find out whether or not you’re “safer” to have unsafe sex (or just to have sex at all) with. It’s ONLY purpose is to find out if you need medication, which will make you extremely not likely to be contagious once your viral load becomes undetectable. Nothing more, nothing less.
HIV Negative, I don’t Have To Lie About It Unlike Some That Intentionally Leave Theirs Blank And Then Click On The Box And Lie About Their Dick Size, WTF!?. FYI, That HIPPA/PHI Shit Doesn’t Apply Here, Tell The Truth.
My status is what it is.. HIV+ undetectable.. of course here in Montana that might as well mean don’t even breath on me. So I guess if it keeps the majority of guys from even talking to me oh well.
I want to know what “negative” + “on PREP” means. From what I’ve read about it, you aren’t completely negative status.
The same with “undetectable”.
On a side note, I wouldn’t say having an on-line profile increases your chances of sex. I’ve had a profile 7+ years on here & only met somebody once in that time.
It’s usually what I like isn’t looking for me & vice versa. Others say I’m too picky. But why should I have to settle on something that I find turnoffs?
A feature I wish A4A had was the ability to only give you profiles you want to see without that “search” function. I see that as a tool if I’m looking for something specific.
It seems on guy’s profiles from what ive experienced honesty is something they are not familiar with. They’re playing fast and loose with the truth. I met one guy, he said he was 38. 68 yes not 38. So I’ve had some unpleasant experiences. You don’t know who you’re meeting because their profiles aren’t portraying the real person. It’s a real shame that grown men or claim to be grown men have to play these damn games. I’m I what ive wrote on my profile? Yes. I’m not gonna say im 20 or 30 something when I’m in my 50s. Young guys think that it’s a crime that I’m 57. Oh well. Get over it. You’re gonna be my age one day. So in closing unfortunately I’ve had some very unpleasant experiences on a4a.
Well we are all like car salesmen, who lie to make a sale at the moment, not caring about the outcome. Hooking up is risky behavior no matter what, there is no for sure way to insure you won’t walk away from the encounter with something, like a cold sore, lice, or may even get robbed, just to name a few of possibilities. So just letting the buyer beware of the possibilities here, no matter how we try and minimize our actions at the moment. Good luck men, and take care!
This is what I have to say. On this site, I’ve came across profiles of those that are “positive” or “undetectable”. The same profiles periodically change their status to “negative”… Sometimes they’ll put it back and the majority of the time they won’t… It’s not fair to those that are “negative” to be put it risk because some dude want to get layed and potentially can’t because most men are not open to compromised individuals… I feel this site should keep track of those profiles and once the system sees that the status has been changed to perpetuate a false claim, immediately notify the account holder about banning the users IP address and store a photo of the user so if they use a different IP address but the face is recognized, the account would be automatically blocked and that IP address as well… It’s really scarey… I’ve ran into something like this before when I met up with a guy and had sex…his status stayed “negative”. Then it said “positive”. I approached the situation but of course, I was lied to and told that I was bugging and that how the correct status was always there…guys on this site are purposely infecting negative men and it’s not right… I see blogs on this site about “SAFETY” and this is one major safety issue that Noonetalks about.
I like to see what your stauts is.. I post mine. Dosent matter to me if your poz or not.. Play safe and have fun. I am not here to judge..
It is best to be honest with your HIV status, especially if you plan to meet/hookup with someone. As you said, a lot of people lie about their status. I use to leave my status blank and would get several messages a day. If it’s blank, that should be an indication that someone is poz. Now, that I have my status as “undetectable”, I get no messages. If they do send a message, a second message will follow with “oops”, meaning they just saw my HIV status and are not interested. One thing that really bothers me is the fact that other “undetectable” guys won’t talk to me either. As if their poz status is cleaner or different than mine (WTF). I have stopped messaging people that I find interesting in order to prevent having my ass chewed out. A4A should have a status field if the person is open minded called “Poz Friendly”. I have also seen some people have their status as “poz” and then change it to “negative”…..ooops, hope our PrEP is working.
I believe that you need to be honest with your status. I had a guy come over to play around and hang out. He seemed cool and his profile said negative. When he gets here though he’s suddenly undetectable instead of negative. So, we didn’t play and I told him to leave. That’s screwed up that I had to feel like a heel somehow because he lied. I don’t sleep with Poz people, period. Its my life and my choice and I don’t like how certain people are trying to guilt people into sex they are not comfortable with. Undetectable is just the new way of rationalizing risky sexual behaviors. It’s sad that as a community we can’t agree one of the most basic ideas: Honesty is the best policy. (Even if the truth is ugly)
The word is ‘credible.’
@Azalean. You need to get educated. Yes you can achieve undetectable HIV status with proper adherence to meds. Unlike men that are positive and not on meds they have thousands of copies of virus. A person that is considered undetectable can have less than twenty copies of virus. This is called “viral load”. Don’t be ignorant, there’s this thing called Google 😉
@Dr. Feel good. Thank you very much for that information. 🙂
Mine says “HIV Undetectable”. I’ve changed my status back to negative periodically because frankly, gay guys are hypocritical pieces of shit when they see a positive status. I’ve had guys strike up a conversation with me who wouldn’t give me the time of day when my undetectable status showed. It’s a testament to how awful they are because I have the SAME profile and they write “are you new in town?” Lol appalling. But I never try to have sex if my status is not accurate. If I’m in the mood I’ll change it back to undetectable. The truth is sometimes I just want to chat and I know people won’t talk to me at all if they see a positive hiv status. The ugly truth is as soon as I disclose my status I never hear from those guys again.
Being honest should always come first. Know your status and know yourself.
Recently there was a gent here in San Diego who successfully sued a “trick” for NOT disclosing his HIV status.
Of course the local news stations here in San Diego hit the story once, during the weekend. Wow, what an expose!
So, in summary, if you’re POSITIVE and do not disclose your status, you’re committing a crime.
Now they’re prosecuting for that, and the gent got prison time, not JAIL time, but PRISON. HUGE difference there.
And the number of gents that I KNOW on here that are POZ and still listing their status as NEGATIVE, who the fuck DO you believe these days? NO ONE, that’s who…………
I leave the status box blank, as I am poz/ undetectable. I have a difficult time letting every guy who glances through profiles know and judge me for it. I have found that most guys I am interested in recognize that not listing “negative” does mean poz/undetectable, and I tend to see out others who do the same. Believe me if I WERE negative I would have it in the profile in bold all caps! Before I agree to meet anyone I make sure they understand my status, and would never risk putting someone in harm’s way by not disclosing.
I agree with others that many guys who list “negative” really have no idea if that is true or not, and often have not been tested in a year or more. They do believe that because they only have sex with other guys who also claim to be negative that they will always be safe. I know from experience that this is not the case
I think if one is playing around engaging in unsafe sex, you just have to assume you will be infected. How can you fully trust someone you just met with your health? If you are having unprotected anal sex with strangers you may as well consider yourself exposed to HIV, or who knows what else. Just imagine that every sexual encounter is going to expose you and behave accordingly. We know how it’s transmitted, and each of us is responsible for our own health.
If you hook up, you have to assume you are at risk for exposure to people who are positive; that comes with the meal and you can’t do anything about that reality unless you choose not to hook up, in which case you’re not reading this. Period. People lie. People haven’t tested since they were infected. People don’t know they’ve been infected. Get tested; practice safer sex and don’t assume a profile here is certain. How many times have people misrepresented their age, height, weight, dick size, etc? There are no benign lies, there is only truth which very few of us practice completely. Take responsibility for yourself and, unless you are victimized, don’t pin responsibility for your HIV status on another person.
I answer honestly in what my status is. The problem is the ignorant individuals who 1) Make Assumptions and 2) Don’t understand and/or are unwilling to research the difference between Positive and Detectable vs Positive and Undetectable viral levels. Those ignorant folks are the issue. I answer honestly, I’m willing to discuss it openly, and I make DAMN SURE a partner knows BEFORE we meet up. I also can *prove* what my status is, unlike half the ‘I’m negative’ claims or those who ‘Don’t Know/Don’t Care’.
Educating yourself is the KEY.
Status is important, but more fields could be added. Secondly I am in huge favor of this site becoming better period..to include relationship oriented sections for people that do not want to be a hook up. Sorry owners…some of us would really appreciate this !! There is a stigma these days against people that want relationships..you know..a monogamous soul mate…etc.
Seems like the sleep-around-aholics have plenty of sex sites and porn to go to . We .. the monogamous .. relationship wanting individual gets crap. And I’m sick of the childs play of site…liar after liar. I know the site can’t stop that, but can be more inclusive and such for us relationship guys !! Please….
I believe in being honest. I also know that not everyone else does.
I’m responsible for myself, not anyone else.
Don’t forget that not answering the questions is an option. And don’t forget to read between those blank lines.
Back in the late 80’s, My first boyfriend and I used condoms till we both got tested, and since his ass was not an erogenous zone, I was the newly crowned bottom and I loved it. When I found out he was repeatedly giving blowjobs to guys that gave him rides when he was hitchhiking, I was furious. That long wait for the results was excruciating, back then.
Afterward I treated everyone like they were positive and always practiced safe sex. When I got tested and they asked if I was worried, I surprised them and said no every time. Two different guys I was with both called me later to inform me they tested positive, and after my negative tests, I know I made the right decision to be safe.
My much younger BF and I have been together 4 years. We got tested and our first night of bareback sex was great and every time since. But we use condoms on anyone we have join us, so Zero regrets, or stress.
Undetectable is not a term that is currently used by HIV health care professionals. If the viral load test, which is extremely sensitive and fare more reliable that a mouth swab or finger prick, was truly undetectable the person would in fact be negative or cured of HIV if they previously tested positive since no viral load was in fact detected. The correct term is “fully suppressed.” Three large scale studies affirm that persons with a viral load that is fully suppressed and fully compliant with meds are not contagious. While that sounds great you don’t have sex with large scale studies.
A person is knows that they test positive for HIV have a legal, moral, and ethical obligation to disclose that to all partners before becoming sexually active. HIV will only be stopped when everyone knows their status regularly; they practice safe sex at all times. Exclusive partners make and keep their own ground rules for sex. All others should and must practice safe sex at all times.
As for PrEP whether you can afford it or your insurance covers it ia really not the answer. A medical parallel would be undergoing radiation and chemo therapy, in the absence of a cancer diagnosis, in order to prevent contracting cancer.
I just treat all sex partners as if they are all hiv positive and always use condoms. It does not make any since to me not to use condoms. Stating anything goes because you claim to be negative or on PreP will not stop chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphilis and other infections. HIV gets all the attention because it’s so horrible, while none of the other STD’s get the concern they should. And let’s not forget the fact that so many people just plain lie or don’t know or care.
I applaud Dr. Feelgood!
I have found that NOT posting your status results in a “WEEDING” out factor. Those that are concerned(negative
guys who test regularly)) and are interested in your profile will certainly ask what your status is if not posted. Those who do not ask are simply not concerned or are positive.It makes for a good starter conversation with your potential “MEET”.
It is everyone’s responsibility to ultimately disclose their status, whether Negative, Positive,and or Undetectable. I feel those that are undetectable are much safer and know their health better than men who claim they were last tested in early 2014.
All in all your taking a chance for an assorted amount of STD’s with casual sex.
I agree with the doctor. I don’t believe the fields should be on here and I leave mine blank. I believe two things. If you are negative and you want to stay that way, you should always practice safe sex regardless of what box anyone checks and what they say. Sex is never entirely safe, especially with a random hookup. Everyone is entitled to determine their own level of comfort with the risks associated with respective behaviors. I think given the level of stigma that still exists it is naive to expect everyone to cop to being poz although I have the greatest respect for those who do. But my understanding of the science is that the vast majority of infectious contacts happen in the first several months of infection when viral levels are very high and when generally the individual is unaware of their status. That’s just a fact. That makes boxes checked neg entirely unreliable and therefore, back to my initial stance. The categories should not be on here, and ultimately each of us is responsible for the choices we make.
Well, looks like my viewpoint’s been proven solid once more….guys on here are poz ADMITTING to posting a neg status. Why? Because they don’t get HIT ON ENOUGH!!?! Hey, THAT’S WHAT HAPPENS. I lived through the Holocaust…that bug WILL KILL YOU, eventually. The tricyclics are only a big Band-Aid, although Gilead’s sales department will tell you anything you want to hear. I’m neg, and proud of it, and don’t TRUST ANYONE unless I see the test. Sure, I can’t make poor choices like I did before ’82 or so, but when it happens, it’s good. I must know what I’m doing, because I’ve been neg for 34 years. And NO, I don’t give a CRAP about you being “stigmatized.” You do that to yourself by LYING about a potentially DEADLY bug. Wise up.
One more thing…..
Next time the site’s being tweaked, let’s have an option where you can narrow search parameters according to how or whether someone checks the boxes. For instance, if guys who are poz or don’t say offend you, you don’t have to see them.
Gotta love the word “statistic”.
Everyone loves to quote numbers: 2 out of 10, 4 out of 100, 5%, etc. Quotes like “it’s not statistically relevent” too. What everyone neglects to say is that number actually represents a person (you, your uncle, your friend). Lets pretend a statistic is 1 out of 100 or 1% of people on PREP, or had unprotected sex with a “undetectable” person, or…insert at will…became infected with HIV.
Do you want to be that one person that may have their life dramatically shortened by a mostly preventable disease? I don’t. I don’t want to take an expensive and toxic medication cocktail every day for the rest of my life. What if I lose my job and therfore my insurance? What if I can’t tolerate the medication. What if my strain of HIV becomes resistant? What’s really eye opening (and tear jerking) is that my HIV+ friends don’t want me to go through what they are going through every day of their lives. They protect me. They love me and I love them.
Yes, men lie, therefore it my reponsibility to protect myself as best as I can. Sleeping with a positive person, undetectable or not, may not be “statistically relevent” but it’s still a risk. When was the last time that they had blood work. How was that blood processed? Was the lab that gave results following processing protocols? Did the person have the flu right after having blood drawn that weakened their immune system with a subsequent viral flare? Did he forget to take a pill for just one day? Too many questions and not enough answers for me. Too many variables.
I hate that I have to make a decision but I have to think about myself first and foremost.
Please don’t lie about your status. Please don’t “breed” young innocents that glamourize HIV. Please get tested if not for me, but for yourself. One day there will be a cure and it would be wonderful if you were around long enough to be part of it.
Great subject. However a better topic would be that of the stigma around HIV.
Yes everyone needs to be tested and be honest about their status. However, HIV is not what it was in the 80’s & 90’s. Medical science has come around and studies have stated that undetectable persons are highly unlikely able to be transmitting the virus.
Also, there are viruses and diseases out there to be talking about..
With all that said, wrap it up if you are afraid.
We all know though that most are not looking to wrap it up..
Worse viruses and diseases*
Heard JUST today, on another site: “My status is MY business, not anyone else’s business.” Oh YEAH? You get your junk near me, it becomes MY business, clown. I’ve found that most who give that sort of sketchy response have “Drugs Occasionally” (that means they’re tweekin’ all the time) in their profile. Words to the wise here.
I am HIV- Tested 05/01/2015 and STD free. I hope if the muse of A4A smile upon me that the gentleman I may have the pleasure to meet will be the same.
I hope to enjoy the all the pleasures of man to man which may come my way. Please, please be honest. Being honest should always come first.
Know your status of your partner and his of yours should always be the most import part.
HIV Positive undetectable means the virus is not detected in your body no chance of spreading the virus. HIV neg and on Prep means you are taking medicine to prevent you from contracting the virus simple as that. Now to all those who claim they are Negative, get tested at least every three months. 50% of gay men have HIV whether they know it or not. Those who know and get treated are fine. Statistically, there is no chance of contracting HIV from an undetectable person. The CDC requires health care professionals to disclose that there is always a chance, therefore continuing a stigma of hatred and bigotry within the community. The people spreading HIV are the hypocrites that don’t get tested and run around saying that they are “clean” simply to avoid the real question. Do not ask someone if they are clean the answer will always be yes for obvious reasons. Clean means clean opposite of dirty not HIV negative. Ask the question, are you HIV positive or negative? Simple as that. The status question on A4A and other sites needs to be omitted. It will then prompt people to ask the real question. In a few years if a vaccine hasn’t been approved, people are going to want the status of HIV Positive undetectable because of the immunities these new HIV drugs propose (my opinion of course). As for the law, 30 years ago a law was put in place to protect people from a disease that was killing many. Holding people accountable for the spread of HIV/AIDS by nondisclosure. Today, HIV is nothing less than a chronic disease if treated properly. People live normal lives and life expectancy is the same. HIV positive people should not be singled out as criminals because the irresponsible partner decided to have unprotected sex with someone who obviously had a viral load. Those people just want to put blame on someone else for having bareback sex then getting infected (everyone has a choice). FYI, in California the non disclosure law does not stand up unless one can prove specific intent to transfer HIV. There are those people out there but very hard to prove. So the bottom line is, protect yourself! Don’t put yourself in a situation where drugs and alcohol will make you make bad decisions. And if you do like having unprotected sex and want to stay negative, get on PreP! Not gonna save you though from Hep C, HPV, Herpes or Genital Warts much less Syphilis, Gonorrhea and Chlamydia. Use a condom and protect yourself always. If you have had unprotected sex and claim to be negative you are part of the problem and I call you a hypocrite. Leave peoples status alone, that’s personal. Now go get tested!
I think we are all grown and need to act like it. Men here complaining because someone isnt being honest or selecting from the list of options. If you.re having sex treat everyone as if they.re positive, or quit being seually active. ASK QUESTIONS BEFORE SEX VERBALLY. Like one commenter wrote most of the people spreading hiv are not ones that have it documented and know their status.
The owners of adam should and need to add the list of ever other sexual std.s and sti.s to quit adding to the stigma hiv has. Be fair!!!
And for the dumb people that find a false since of security because someone posts negetive or there last testing date as truth are stupid. Take responsibility for self.
If you really want to help yourself and the rest of the world. Get educated on sex. How to put on a condom, what to use for lube, and how diseases are spread.
Not only do I put my honest status in my profile but I always ask men that chat with me it they indeed read my profile. I’m positive and make sure that my playmates and partners are aware of this. I know for a fact that men will contact me and tell me they are discreet so they don’t disclose their status. That is bull!! You should not lie and if you are caught you should be put in jail!! To all the negative men reading this men lie!! Protect yourself!!
Thank you dr. Feelgood for your comment. Right on! The filed sohould be taken away all together, it’s truly pointless. Guess who are the guys wanting to bare back, somsomcalled “neg” ones. And yes, WTF with all the uneducated people about HIV. I leave mine blank, it’s none of your dam business in a profile. If I’m going to have sex the that’s between me ant the other person. Have I llied yes, it’s the best way to get rid of someone that dosent know the meaning of “no thank you, not interested”. My lie I say I’m poz and that usually does the trick. Unless they have lided with their neg profile and once I say I’m poz all of a sudden so are they as if they will change my mind about hooking up.,last note, if all these guys whom report safer sex only. If that’s truly what your behavior is, what difference does the other persons status is if you are indeed being safe.
Men lie!! I’m bisexual and I always protect myself and use a trusted condom and lube properly. I’m not “out” and I always use condoms and lube when I play. If a guy ask me not to use a condom or tell me he is positive, I instantly lose my hard on. I would rather not know his status but I will always protect myself. I get tested for “everything” every six months. My suggestions to you guys, is unless you are married to the guy, I suggest you to always use a condom and lube! If he says, he’s “clean”, it’s not worth the risk to me!! Know your status, get tested regularly!!
I don’t get laid too often, unlike the days before these apps, and usually top except for sucking cock. Finally got a chance to get tested after quite awhile and guess what? Tested neg! Must be lucky, or missing a receptor.
I know from experience of being positive for almost 6 years that the option of putting your status down provides an opportunity for the community to vilify. Currently, I post negative in my profile but will notify every potential hook up or date that comes of if, before any form of sex occurs. My reason for doing this is that when I am truthful in my profile, I would receive several threats And bullying tactics every week. As a community an decent people, we need to have consistent education and prevention measures. Unfortunately, this is not the case andsome positive people are bashed for disclosing their status, as well as bashed for not. It’s a Catch-22. All I ask is that people show respect to every one, even though we may have conflicting views or opinions. Please do not bully and be counterproductive to this fight. Also do not vilify those that are positive and make them a minority group within the minority that we are a part of.
I’ve talked guys who claimed to be negative in their profile, only to find out they aren’t in conversation. That “oops” moment. Personally anyone who doesn’t have their status I won’t talk to. If it’s positive, it’s not a dealbreaker, just a caution.
If someone doesn’t play safe then I usually stay away too, but not all “Safe sex only” profiles are really truthful either are they? Mine says that, but there have been times where I said screw it.
I believe in privacy, but honesty. Only you can live with yourself if you lie about your status. Karma will be there waiting when something awful happens to you.
When posting your status (something so personal) why not post how much $$ you make or your SS # so we can see if you pay your bills on time. Some things need to be discussed in person. Between consenting adults.
How about putting a chip in everyone with an STD or cancer. Then we can really outcast society!
I disclose my status. I am neg. I also know that many do lie about it. So I belive that detailed profile is Nothing. You need to chat on/offline. And I do my thing I will ask if a guy poz but I really don’t believe to whatever a random stranger off here replies to that. What I do ask if a guy uses condoms for anal sex. If reply is “I play safe only” I am cool. If he says he plays safely mostly but has a trusted friend he bbs with or bbs Cuz on prep or anything goes. I don’t need to know his status. By default he is not my cup of vodka lol. And btw wtf is with ” I test every 3 months” and ” I have my last test results neg”. If you tested today but bb 2 weeks ago your results be neg and none ever get viral load test initially so you could be poz with neg test. Anyway stop fucking testing every 3 months and stop making gilead pharm prosperous lol get your free fucking condoms and fuck whoever ( men, women, farm animals lol) peta won’t like my post lol
Anyone who believes all the profile information if a fool. I read profiles to see not only what guys want but how the express themselves so i get a sense as to what they omit and appear as shady. If i dont get a warm and fuzzy feeling after chatting with them that they are being truthful or not then no hookup is going to happen. Guys think they are sneaky and hiding something but much like “lawyerspeak” and how they say something in response to a question or fail to answer a question determines whether ill pursue any further interaction. If you dont think a lie in a profile and evasiveness in chatting is a good “read” of character and truthfulness works, then you aren’t trying hard enough to screen out people who will end up being a bad decision to hookup with. If good health is worth having then having standards and healthy skepticism of information and questioning through chatting is the way to have fun hookup and keep your good health…you just have to think harder with your brain and not your cock and asshole with their demans of satisfaction.
Anyone have the right to public or not their private information on their profile, its not people business to know your private information, the onlyone who you should share your private information is the person you are going to sleep with
I think the really root of the problem are those that insist on BB or Bareback sex, and also claim to be negative. Especially when they are apparently putting adds out there for taking “anonymous loads.” That is the kind of behavior that spreads disease like wild fire.
What is often overlooked, are that there are plenty of OTHER STDs out there that are plenty nasty. Yep you just got your rapid HIV test, but when was the last time you got tested for syphalis or hep or herp or clap or whatever else?
I bet there are guys out there that think they are “clean,” with only their recent HIV test, which was prob 6 months and 6 partners ago.
And for the guys that claim to be on Prep, woopti-doo, what other disease do you have that you might not know about?
Wear a condom guys, get over it.
HIV & STD positive and undetectable.