Gay Stuff : Experimenting With Your Sexuality
Having sex with other guys at first was generally confusing.Some guys kissed weird. Some guys were a lot more rough than I anticipated. Some guys just laid there. Some guys slobbered all over my face and told me how hot it was. I licked one guy’s nipple and he came on the spot then threw me out because he was embarrassed. I had to make one guy leave because the way he delivered blowjobs reminded me of a dog going after his chew toy. At some point I thought to myself “First off, guys don’t know what they’re doing and secondly…what exactly do I WANT them to do to me?”
Exploring your sexuality isn’t always a straight guy wondering what it’s like to be with another guy. (or conversely, gay guys wondering what it’s like to be with a woman). That’s just sexual curiosity and I’m sure at some point everyone at least considers what the other sexualities do exactly. I watch straight porn because I think it’s hot, but sometimes when I’m watching it I think to myself “so…I’m supposed to punch a woman’s vagina? That’s what girls like?” – It’s all very strange to me, but it’s still just a curiosity. Although I did have sex with women early on I’ve never felt a romantic or emotional/sexual attraction to women.
For me exploring my sexuality meant looking into all the various sexual “things” that were out there. Do I like giving blowjobs? Do I really get turned on by it? Do I like getting blowjobs, is that what turns me on? What about fucking? Am I a top or a bottom…which one makes me feel the most powerful? Which one do I connect to the most? Do I feel most like myself when I’m sliding into a tight little bottom, or do I feel more powerful when a guy is inside me? Do I like leather? What about bears? Am I into bears? Do I want to be tied up and gangbanged? Maybe I want to fist someone, is anyone into fisting? Believe me, sexuality is a VERY big world and if we don’t allow ourselves the time to experiment with things then we won’t really have a well rounded and confident approach to our sexuality. We’ll also end up in a lot of sexual situations that are both bizarre to us and disappointing.
I decided to take a few years to really explore my sexuality. I allowed myself the freedom to research different ways people have sex and to try them out at least once. If I didn’t try something I might not know if I like it, and if I educated myself about what I wanted to try then I felt much safer experimenting. So I did it. I went to a leather sex club in New York City and got fucked on a motorcycle by a leather guy from England. Then a guy tied me up to a cross looking thing and spanked me. The motorcycle guy took me home and then he and his room mate fucked me on their couch. It was…interesting. It wasn’t awful, but I didn’t think the leather scene was necessarily for me. Later on I decided to figure out if I like giving blowjobs or getting blowjobs; I wanted to really understand which one turned me on the most. (turns out 69 is what I like the most) Later I visited a bathhouse to see if I liked that. I did, but again it wasn’t something I wanted to do all the time. But I found the experience very fascinating and liberating. I fisted a guy and tried to get fisted. It was…well let’s just say I couldn’t find my spirit for three days. I think it ended up in a corner crying somewhere.
In the end I realized that after a couple of years I was a little older (we’re always so concerned about our youth) but I was so much more in touch with what I actually liked, and very confident about it. I knew the things that turned me on and I knew what I was comfortable doing that might be outside my normal boundaries of comfort. I love kissing. I love body contact. I like it when a guy is vocal during sex. I love fucking. If I’m bottoming…I want the top to be aggressive; being able to take a dick like champ makes me feel powerful and masculine for some reason. I like furry guys; bears are awesome. Scruffy guys make me hot. And so on and so on. And now when I get asked “what are you looking for?” or “what are you into?” I have a clear, defined answer that allows me to decide whether I’m going to invite that person over or not.
Think of it as a science experiment. Give yourself some time to figure it out. Don’t be upset if you don’t know at first. Be educated, safe and have a little fun.
A4A user, MakeMeABird
I’ve explored it all, and, as a confirmed bisexual, have had it all. There’s just no substitute for experience, period. Porn’s all done for the visuals, so discount anything you see on that, unless it’s amateur.
Enjoy the ride.
Very sensible and useful approach. One doesn’t have to try absolutely EVERYthing, but certainly trying things which are different is an educational and productive adventure.
Great article on experimentation, I myself have never been curious about being a bottom because cocks aren’t my thing. I love being the Top Dog, and being in absolute power while in bed with a man or woman.
24Kplay
That was a perfect way to discover what really turns you on. We all have to try different things to see where we shine sexually. There are no right or wrong answers, so don’t over think, just explore.
Right on, brotha! Experimentation is the spice of life!
As a pansexual male, I have experimented with lots of different things with lots of different people.
What have I learned?
-Firstly, and not surprisingly for a self-described pansexual, my sexual tastes CHANGE! Some over long periods of time (I used to wretch at the idea of rimming, now I get hard just thinking about it), and some on the spot! I’ve found that they are very dependent upon the person I’m with.
-Next, I really like new things & mixing things up. I almost can’t count the number of people I’ve seen (dated?) over the years where we started out in one role (I’m vers, so top or bottom are both good to me), and ended up either switching or flipping as a result of just trying it!
-I’m no germophobe, but there are limits: I’ve tried watersports and found that I do NOT enjoy bottoming, and although I can tolerate topping, I really don’t enjoy it. Hey, at least I tried it!
-I apparently have some trust issues: in bondage, I’m always a top for the first 3-5 meetings… after that, I may or may not be willing to switch to a sub role… but I have done so, and it was very hot!
-I am not shy: in group scenes, i’m usually one of the first to get naked and get started. I also enjoy outdoor sex – especially in the “wilderness”.
-I am totally NOT into hair. A hairy butt acts like sandpaper on the sides of my cock, and it hurts after a while! With that experience and understanding, just the sight of a smooth butt (with matching smooth legs) will get my cock hard!
-For me, clothes do NOT make the man. I just don’t get “leather”, “silk”, “lace”, “denim”, “undies”, “jocks” or whatever. I’m into BIRTHDAY suits!
-I love to 69 and to suck cock, but I’m not into being “serviced” – I usually cannot cum from “being serviced”, even with a prostate massage to help matters! Want me to cum in your mouth, stick a cock (yours or someone else’s) in my mouth or ass!
And I’ll finish out with an observation about my sexuality: I don’t force it! If I’m enjoying it, I’m enjoying it – no explanation needed. And if its not working, I’m not shy about saying so.
Although I self-describe as pansexual, my behavior over the past 3+ years has been totally homosexual. While you may choose to therefore call me gay (or homosexual), I can honestly say I haven’t ruled out women in my life – I just haven’t been attracted to one in a VERY long time! You can blame my ex-wife, or a string of VERY HOT guys – but I don’t blame or question it at all… it’s just who I am currently!
You cannot change where you are, or where you have been – but you certainly can change the direction of where you go from here!
Looking forward to other people’s answers!
As a bisexual at 1st was mostly into mutual oral pleasures….when taking the next step to anal I thought I’d prefer giving, but turns out I really prefer receiving …guess you never know till you try
My ad says I'[m total bottom, and like that position best. I can’t top and don’t try, and am up front with that. I will do what the man wants, within reason, suck eat ass,and get fucked, but won’t try fisting on me anyway. I am a huge fan of a leather man with lots of hair, I love him to wear big old worn boots at least for me, as I love to smell them and lick them, especially while geting fucked,,, It is extremely hot to me..I would love to find a hot leather man that would fuck me on his bike, that would be awesomw for me anyway, A rough leather guy turns my head instantly and dream of finding none to play with..but heavy well worn boots are my fantasy, so bring em on guys, I show you a great time
I learned gay was the way long time ago as in 12th grade. I’m 35 years old now and still turned on mostly by the same thing I was when I was younger. A caring guy will have me sexually hands down and there’s no need to compare to others if the feelings are deep and real. The best sexual guys have not had my heart ever because they tend to want to share with everyone anyhow. At this point I’m kinda embarrassed to even have casual sex because even if it’s great, chances are it won’t happen again. I’ll take a solid bond any day.
Great article and is as an older mature man in his early 40s I find that my most enjoyable sex partners are men about my age give or take some years of course. You’ve probably done just about all there is to do and know what you like and how to do it through experimenting then later trying your best to “perfect” your craft. Of course I’ve had younger guys that are really enjoyable too but their kind of enjoyable to me is because they’re in that experimental phase and like just about anything as long as a nutt is involved.
I experimented when I was 12 & 13 with others boys my age but it didn’t last long. But I knew even before that I was gay. No problem. Never wanted to change or get married. No guilt. Since then I haven’t experimented with anyone. What I mean it’s only been men and I like just plain sex no kinky stuff. I have no desire whatsoever to try different things with other people, women I mean. I will never get so desperate that I will be attracted to a women.
I knew I was into other guys around age 10.being half Cherokee Indian I never got ALOT of body hair and while I was playing football at Jr. high I would just thrill to see the other guys hairy legs or bushy pits or pubs. Just would make my mouth water. Of course they would tease me some for my lack of body hair. Which in turn Ai think made me into more of a bottom. I love a younger twinkish guy with a happy trail Marjory hairy legs pits and bush. Love sucking cock and pleasing little twinkish otters.
If it feels good, do it.
As a man over 35, one would think that we know what we want and go get it…I am confident and comfortable in my skin, my mood changes from day to day and so do my sexual needs, some times I feel like a nutt… Some times I don’t
That’s it
That’s all
Found your article to be very interesting and thought-provoking. I too allowed myself an extended time to experiment and get to know myself and understand exactly what my likes, dislikes and limits might be. It was sometimes wild, most times fun, a few times weird and/or scary, but like children’s TV programming, always educational and informative.
It’s something all should consider. Thanks for the topic and the article.
I am sexually experienced, and have been open to new ideas for a long time. What I never, ever would have thought about on my own at the time I am thinking, was the time I recieved my first rimjob. (Geez, I hope the wrong people don’t ever read this.) Anyway, the guy was older, and I was nineteen. At first, I was mostly curious as to why he would want to do that. But in just about forty-five seconds I learned why, and continued to be driven up the wall that way for about 45 minutes. I learned to be open to a lot of activities because of that one experience.
It is also okay to say NO if the experience is turning out to be not what I want. People, I am in it to feel good, and to help my partner feel good (with I know how to do very well) so real heavy scenes are not my thing. The most ridiculous thing someone can say to me about something I don’t like is, you just haven’t had someone do it the RIGHT way. You know, for me, sex is a physical expression of attraction and love. When it is right,.I do not feel the need to push my partner’s limits with all that pain and humiliation that some guys go to. All that being said, I have been known to let myself go with the flow and do a little role-play from time to time. Guys, feel free to be open-minded, but don’t let any man push you in a direction you don’t want. Sex is supposed to be uplifting to the spirit and make you feel good. There is no reason, for me, to escalate into that bdsm business.
I remember when I wanted to try fucking my hole the first time. I just used a long bar that came with my workout gym LOL. I lubed it up and started fucking my hole and omg, it was amazing. Then my cock started oozing tons of precum and I’m talking huge loads and then it started mixing with actual white cum. Just from fucking my ass. IT felt so good and I shot my load in no time. Come to find out later in life, I discovered I had learned how to milk my prostate. What an amazing discovery!!!
I did not try spanking until just a few years ago and had no idea how hot it was. better than poppers for an instant hard on. just enough for a tingle, not too hard! like one of the other guys commenting here, rimming was part of my first sexual experience too and I have loved giving and getting it ever since.
Experimenting is great. For sure with a guy you know well and with whom you’ve discussed the game plan with a bit.
Not good to experiment with a new guy you’re experimenting with. Hey maybe it’d turn out fantastic, but there’s a better chance that with its too many variables and unknowns the outcome could be something(s) you just had not bargained for.
I experimented for years. Starting at a very early age. Each time even into my early 20s, I would feel like it was something I shouldn’t have done. It didn’t happen until after I separated from my wife that I became comfortable with being sexually attracted to men.
I’ve tried a number of differnent positions, roles and activities with both men and women over the years and I can honestly say that even though I’ve might have enjoyed some more than others, they were all universally pleasurable, even though some might have been more so than others.
I’ve enjoyed being on top and plowing my dick into both women and men, but I’ve also very much enjoyed being ridden by women and getting my own ass reamed out by a good, hard dick or sometimes by a dildo or vibrator.
But the pleasures I’ve enjoyed and (I hope) have given to others was never dependent on what one or both of us desired exclusively. At different times and with different partners, what brought us mutual pleasure sometimes depended on the partner and the circumstances. Some women and some men do not want to deviate from what they found pleasurable in the past and thus do not want to experiment. For others, doing different things in different way is the spice of life.
So, for me at least, I can always say that good sex (in whatever form it comes) is fabulous! And even the sex that is not so fabulous is still pretty darned good, as long as both me and my partner is enjoying it.