Speak Out : Gays and Rape
(This post was written by a member of A4A. If you wish to write something for the blog, feel free to send me your text and name or username. blog at adam4adam dot com)
I just wanted to know the views of the community on gay rape. How pervasive is it?
We all hear how men raping women make the headlines. But I can think of so many scenarios by which guy-on-guy rape could occur:
1. You connect online, meet up at his place, have a change of mind… but then he forces himself on you
2. You willingly give yourself to one guy, only for his buddies to enter the room while you are having sex, and also have sex with you forcibly
3. You agree to condom sex; midway in the act, he takes the condom off… you say no, but he overpowers you
4. You are a “top” and cant get your dick up… then the “bottom” turns on you and rapes you
5. Get drunk at the bar (or party), wake up in someone’s bed with your ass drooling of cum/blood
6. You agree to meet for “oral/foreplay” only, but he forces penetrative sex on you
7. etc… etc…
What are people’s stories? Do they ever get reported? How do the police react?
Thanks.
Derrick from Minneapolis
Sorry but this entry seems to be more fishing for stories, not a serious discussion.
My understanding is that the vast majority of men raping men do not self-identify as gay. But that said, I want to emphasize the importance of distinguishing between (conversation around) rape and non-consensual roleplay/fantasy, and not eroticizing the former. Going into the details of these various scenarios and asking for stories with specifics, to me at least, runs the risk of being more related to gossip or imagination than to the intention of care and understanding around trauma and its roots in this community. But that is only my interpretation.
Am I the only one turned on by all of these scenarios? Gay rape is a fantasy of mine, does that make me abnormal? I do not mean to diminish the seriousness of the act, only to share that I actually fantasize about it, about being the one raped. Admittedly, I was raped at a young age of 12 years old, so I have no doubt that this plays into the fantasy. I never had therapy and perhaps haven’t dealt with it as well as I thought.
I’ve been sexually assaulted more times than I care to think of personally. Everything from an older boyfriend getting me drunk as a teenager and fucking me blacked out our unconscious repeatedly for months. A hook-up/friend getting fucked up on cheap vodka and trying to force themselves on me. Finally there was a time last year on vacation a rather huge body building marine wouldn’t use a condom and I was scared to say no
Derrick brings up some good scenarios. I know, for myself, I always am mindful of the other guy’s right to his body. A young new bi guy who wanted to try things, I still asked at every step, “is this ok?” Even if a guy wanted to be tied up and have aggressive sex, I’d go over limits again before we started. If I inserted but he changed his mind, I’d pull out, no debate. I am so respectful that a guy who only wanted oral play asked me why I didn’t do anal on him, and I told him it was because he hadn’t said I could. I know that even if it isn’t violent, penetrating an unwilling partner is unethical at least. And he has the absolute option to change his mind at any point. That’s just plain respect, even without the law.
I only remember hearing of two male rapes involving people known to me. One was partying with male friends, and the morning after, he remembered being carried between rooms, delirious, and half remembering bodies against him, with long blackouts. He told a friend, who told the police. They investigated, and arrests got made, for drugging and kidnapping and raping him. A straight friend I know used to spend time with a gay bud off campus. They would drink a few beers, and the gay guy would blow him. But once, the gay guy iffered and the straight one said no, he was cool, he just wanted to sleep. The gay guy overpowered him, forced himself inside, and satisfied himself. The straight guy was stunned and dissppointed, but drunk and weary so he passed out. The next day, he apologized in tears. No police report got made. They spoke but never hung out again. I know there’s more out there, but often guys are embarrassed because many police officers seem so judgmental of certain things. Not all, but the victim may feel they would be. Remember Jeff Dahmer’s underage, drunk Asian victim, who escaped but got taken back by two substandard “officers”. Some won’t report because they don’t want to give ammunition to anti-gay people.
I know there are gay rapes, but again, it’s a topic with complications based on attitudes, fears, misconceptions. It ought to be dealt with directly, though: mutual consent is acceptable, but a refusal by word or gesture means consent is gone. Respect each other, and stay aware. Pursuit of happiness (your pleasure) comes after life (his body)and liberty (his choice).
Thankfully I haven’t experienced anything like that before. I’m sure some guys have, especially the smaller framed men or those who are not very muscular. I doubt the Police would take it very seriously unless you happened to find a gay cop doing the investigation.
I can say in my case the police didn’t particularly care when I reported the last time. I’m not sure if it’s a problem in the community at large, or maybe I just put myself in these situations. I’ve always been something life a 60’s bad girl in a gay man’s body.
I’m not sure how it happens, but my guess is it happens. My evidence of that is the gay rape fantasy porn that pervades our internet. It either exists to create it, or to cater to it.
I’ve always thought rape porn must speak to some dark part of people that left unchecked…would lead to more than bargained for. This is a dangerous topic and maybe unwise to give air to it
You wouldn’t believe how many ppl I’ve talked to that have those fantasies about things like that happening to them. Therefore u don’t hear of it because you have ppl that would say they wished it happen to them.
dam I’d love to get raped by one or more guys
All those scenarios are just fantasies.
My first time bottoming was a rape situation. I was drunk, out at a local gay dance club. Ended up going home with a hot guy. I remember saying, “no! no!”. The next thing I remember was waking up in a pool of my blood and his semen. He died several years later of HIV. I was lucky I didn’t catch it from him. Took quite awhile before I would bottom again. Really enjoy it now, though.
all sounds good to me, and sure wouldn’t call it rape, just a whole lot of good sex. All you tops, bring it on,, i’m ready for it
Thanks Derrick. I’m from Mpls as well. I went to a guy’s place once , just to find that he had a roommate (FAR more attractive than he) and he was waiting for a guy to show as well and they were going to make it a foursome. It all sounds kind of hot now, but I was only starting to experience meeting guys. His roommate took off his shirt and I got very turned on. The guy I was meeting (who incidentally didn’t describe himself truthfully in the ad I read …and btw…this was all before computers and cell phones), started rubbing my bulge in my jeans. Before I could do anything to get undressed, I “did the deed” and I was spent (again, I reiterate that this was when I was first realizing myself and experimenting in hooking up).
Got off track there, but the point was, I might have been one of those that was going to meet one guy and be the one to receive everyone. Needless to say, I’m far more cautious now and like to meet in public or I ask an annoyingly number of questions.
I was 14 and raped by 6 guys in the locker room shower. I never told anyone and I think that is why I enjoy being a bottom today.
Guys…
I just want to caution one thing. Rape in itself is a crime. Though some of the scenarios sound like they could be fantasies, sex against your will…male or female constitutes rape. And most often, it is with malice or hate…NOT with love or the intent of getting together and living happily ever after.
The real scandal here is guys putting themselves in harm’s way. Risky behavior. Go to a guy’s place without knowing him well is putting yourself at risk for several bad outcomes. Getting drunk will expose you to uncountable risks for bad outcomes. Having sex with a stranger is a coin flip. Hey, it’s great when it comes up “heads.” Not so much when your result is “tails.”
Is rape justified? No!
Is your being irresponsible when it comes to your own safety justified? NO!
Rape is the symptom of a problem. Irresponsibility is a cause and that’s the scandal.
Lots of guys in the desert (Palm Springs) have told me of having been slipped a date rape drug in a local bar and waking up later having been used by one or more guys. A good friend of mine realized that he had been drugged and was still competent enough to go and lock himself in his car until it wore off. I’ve talked to one younger guy who claimed that he had been drugged, taken out to a house in the mountains and raped by several guys over a long painful weekend. They kept him in a dark room and drove him back blindfolded to within a few miles of town. I know this sounds like some guys’ fantasies, but I believe him as he is very conservative and has a good long term relationship with a bf. He reported this to police, who interviewed the staff at the bar, but were not able to identify the perpetrators. So be careful!
There is an enormous difference between a rape fantasy, and the reality of actually being raped. The same as the difference between bdsm fantasies, and actually being abducted, bound, gagged, tortured and raped by an abusive psycho. I’m sorry to say that I have experienced the latter(carjacked in mexico). And believe me, there was NOTHING hot about it. Simply terrifying and emotionally devastating. Guys, please use your intelligence to know the difference between reality and fantasy.
To Tom who answered first I don’t think its a fantasy thing for the person asking. He never once asked for details. I think he is genuinely interesting in how these things happen. Do such incidents get reported? Are police understanding,or is it like that Michael Douglass Demi Moore movie where she rapes him and the police do nothing but ridicule him. Personally my first gay experience was a sexual assault by a family member. However I never reported it to anyone not even a family member. Years later he tried it again his time I was older and able to knock a few of his teeth out in the process of him trying to attack me. I think it’s all a matter of where it happens and how well the police force is equipped to deal with such situations. If you live in a rural area chances are you’re less likely to report anything let alone say anything to anyone. Conversely if you live in a more metropolitan area the officers are more likely to sympathetic to your dilemma. Just my two cents.
I think there’s a big disconnect in our culture about this. I know two women who have been raped, not a glorified/eroticized/fifty shades kind of domination but full on beat-the-shit-out-of-you kind of rape. I think most guys who say “I’d love to be raped” are looking more for domination than torture. Some may say it’s semantics, but are you seriously talking about wanting someone to commit a violent crime against you, beat you senseless and take away your dignity…really?
Ok ppl, let’s review, rape is about violence more than about sexual titillation. It is an act of aggression against another in the form of sex. Everyone has the potential to be raped no matter how masculine or feminine you look and/or built physically.
There is a difference between fetishistic domination and opportunistic assault with a sexual angle, trust me when I tell you, to those that think rape is erotic are not thinking in terms of the reality of rape, it tends to leave the victim with a sense of shame and self loathing and then physical damage done. Even if you are the biggest whore and slut on a normal basis, doesn’t mean you asked for it, or that you “put yourself in a bad situation” everyone has a right to exercise a matter of choice in any situation. It doesn’t make you any less of a man to acknowledge the violation.
I’m not sure if I was raped or not because I stopped fighting back and just let him finish. Ok so what happened was is I met up with guy who I had been talking to for a while online, well actually he came over to my house. We started getting intimate I let him give me a back massage and whatnot and then I eventually started giving him head and then he wanted to top me so I said ok. He starts to put it inside me (mind you he is very well endowed) and so as he’s trying to get it in, I’m telling him to stop it hurts too much and trying to get him not to push it in so forcibly. So I’m trying to slightly stop him by using my hand to prevent him from trying to shove it in so hard, but eventually he gets me in sort of a chokehold and just rams it in. At this point I just knew there was no backing out because I could tell he was getting a bit aggressive and my intuition was telling me if I try to stop this man any more its only going to get worse and turn into me possibly being beaten in the process.. so I just let him finish..completely in pain!! As soon as he came he used my restroom and left without saying a word to me. :-/
I’m slightly disgusted with the tone of this article. It’s as if the author is fascinated with the idea of rape and enthusiastic to hear your experiences.
Pro-tip: people do not like to get raped; if they do, it is no longer rape.
Well when I was a young guy I got in trouble with the law, spend a little time in juvenile detention center. well was cornered by 2 black guys and then raped by both of them more then a couple of times. It was painful and I was filled with their sperm every time. I guess them being very well endowed made me and easy prey because I could take what they put into me. well as it goes nobody did anything about it. those days you kept your mouth shut or else. I guess that was the start of my gayness. who knows right. but as time went on I wondered if that was the way it was suppose to be. to be force fucked. don’t like it that way then or now. have always thought about what it would be like to have another black guy do me but this time to have it done nice and slow with pleasure instead of getting a beating and being forced fucked. I do enjoy being a bottom now days but always think about how I was treated was I was a young man. I do love m2m sex and will always go that way but I am really careful to try and stay out of a rape situation. Plus I’m always looking for a black guy to hook up with but they are few and far between around here. I will admit I would enjoy having another well endowed black guy use my bottom again but with a little foreplay and my willingness to having him inside me.
It saddens me to even think that everyone would ever consider this topic as a fantasy or sexual story being a victim is not something I would ever wish for anyone … I was raped my junior year of college by 10 drunk straight frat guys mostly athletes because of a prank/dare they decided to do due to boredom. One of them being a teammate of mine which I though was my friend brought me to his frat house from what I thought was just chilling and hanging out and I wasn’t event 19 years of age or have come out yet and they decided to take turns some went more than once and being tied up or pin down for almost 5 hrs it wasn’t all glorious and sexy as you all may think it would be..
I am sorry there is a difference in having a fantasy of rape and being raped. Trust me as a rape survivor there was no pleasure gotten from it, Not only did the guy rape me but he also beat the crap out of me, sadly this was over 25 years ago and when I called the police to report being raped the police told me men cant rape men! I spent the next year being tested every 3 months not to the mention now the scaring left from the rough intercourse. So trust me there is a difference in rough play and being raped and those of you who seem to get turned on by this are morons! Ask yourself this, would you think different about fantasy rape if your mother or sister had been raped? I am sure you would because you would see the damage it causes not only when it happens the lifetime of damages it does to your mind!
I am speaking from a place of experience. You don’t feel turned on after. You feel violated even if there are no physical scares. You feel as if a part of you was taken and you will never get it back. I was raped by someone i knew. I willingly took G with this person because i wanted to try it. He gave me too much. In my in and out haze he told me the neighbor came over and fucked me too. A friend i barely knew at the time was there when i actually woke up and told me what had happened. Before i actually passed out(which i dont remember either) my attacker had sex with me on the floor of my apartment. My attacker told my friend i was ok it happens all the time, which wasnt true. I was making noices but my eyes were unfocused as if i wasnt there. My attacker grabbed me vy the arm and drug me accross the room where he continued to fuck me. When he stopped all my friend could do was put his head on my chest to see if i was still breathing. He didnt call the police because he knew I wouldnt want to be found like that with drugs in my home. He stayed with me after my attacker left and until i woke up face down with cum dripping from my ass. My attacker said to him before he left “when he wakes up he’s goin to be very horny”. I was not horny. I threw up. I didnt believe what my friend said or what my attacker said later. I will never really know what happened those 3 hours i was passed out and drug around my apartment and violated. What I do know is you DONT feel turned on or excited. What i do know now that i am now hiv+. If that still turns some of you on you might want to seek professional help. The definition has changed. In my case It was rape because, even though i knew and had sex with my attacker, I was unable to consent. I also know it wasnt my fault and that it shouldnt happen to anyone even if it is your fantasy.
I’m a bottom but I’m 6ft1, 220lbs, and work out now and then with kettlebells and didn’t think this was something I had to think/worry about till now
As someone who was actually raped as a teenager back in the 70’s, I find this blog untasteful and offensive!!! It’s one thing to fantasize or role play about forcing yourself or being forced to have sex, but actual rape is the furthest thing to being HOT!
Its weird but i understand mark. I also was raped and never got any therapy. It somehow turns me on now.
I have gone on an hookup before where it was to be just oral, then to be forced into having sex… I told him “no, I’m not about sex” but he continued to put on a condom and told me to lube up. I was scared and intimidated that he could get violent , being the logical type of guy I realized no one knew where I am so just did it before it got worst. That was after he threatened to fuck me with any lube and bruise up my ass if I did not lube up, guess he was determined to fuck me.
Next Scenario
Few days later, one of my close friends showed me his body with cuts and bruises… His scenario is “You willingly give yourself to one guy, only for his buddies to enter the room while you are having sex, and also have sex with you forcibly”
You can’t really report situations like this to the police, reason is because we are not openly gay guys and they would probably say its our fault.
* PLEASE DONT USE THESE SITUATIONS AS A TURN ON*
It is interesting to read the original and the responses. I have worked with gay men (in or out) since the 80’s. It is rare I hear about any form of rape as listed. Don’t get me wrong – I have put boys back together many times who have been forcefully raped but in most of those cases they young man was a sex industry worker and it was a John gone wrong thing. The worst I remember is getting called by a hotel manager to help a guest who was a friend of both of ours. I get there to find the 19 year old male, still tied to the bed as the maid found him-covered in blood, piss and bruises, with a old school coke bottle up his ass, and alligator clips on every pink part- he had a note tied to him to call the hotel manager do not call the police. Any movement made the clamps bite down, any cutting of the tension caused them to bite down-After reviewing the situation- much to the boys unhappiness I called the police and med squads. It too 4 of us working together to remove the alligator clamps -there were over 100, and it was a OR visit to remove the coke bottle. The boy ended up staying with me for a couple weeks to recover. The worst part in this case was the rapist had done this to several other boys and no one would talk. He did pay the kids well for their suffering. In interviewing the others they all had gone with the guy expecting to give a blow job and get fucked. But this was true non consensual rape-the fool was finally caught and is in prison still.
It actually kinda disgusts me when someone says that the above scenarios are “hot.” Yes, consensual sex with a little kink is hot, but that’s not what we’re talking about…we’re talking about rape, and RAPE is NEVER okay.
It’s bittersweet to see those scenarios in a list. Having lived through a few different circumstances of rape, I can vouch for the struggle to come forward. So much anti-gay stigma exists everywhere that I feared (and fear) that if I ever came forward, I would not face justice but instead would face judgment, being accused of wanting it or encouraging it. I have always been sensitive, either topping or bottoming, so having a scenario where I say “no” or “stop” is not uncommon…neither is having the top continue while I am left in pain. A good friend of mine finally told me that being treated that way was NOT okay, and I had an awakening of sorts…
To this day I don’t trust (or even like) most of the gay community.
If you’ve survived TRUE rape, then you probably can sympathize. If not, you have no right to weigh in on the conversation.
It’s not uncommon.But just like women.Men are especially likely to not report it.Because of masculine issues.
I went to a small college near Buffalo NY. My freshman year I was dating a man in his 30s. He was a very hung bottom and we had great sex. One night he asked me to bottom and I said no. He kept pushing so I tried to leave until he cooled off. He attacked me until he had my hands bound to his bed and got a solid shot to my head with his fist.
I ended up having internal bleeding. The police came to the ER, took my story then tore it up because “faggots don’t get raped.” I stayed silent for years. When I finally spoke out about it, no one believed me because he was a prominent figure in the gay community of Buffalo.
So yes, I think there is a serious issue and lack of representation with gay rape.
Well I know what rape is and it is no fun but I will tell you these two freaks who did it to me didn’t leave without a mark. However this is how it began, In a bar getting pretty drunk and this guy starts talking to me, I ignore him and then he asked was I a racist and didn’t like black men. So to make him feel more comfortable I turn and begin a conversation with him. Well I finished my Drink and just felt more intoxicated than I usually would so I get up and go to the bathroom and vomit. The bald black guy come’s in and says Im to drunk to drive and that the sheriff is down the street park, He would drive me to his house where I could eat and wait till I felt better. I asked the bar tender was this guy cool and he said yes so I trusted him. We got to his house and it was on. I cant even finish this story it is to disturbing and upsetting. But yes men can be raped, beat up, forced to do all sorts of Nasty things.
I am sure rape happens in the gay community. I would say if it happens once to a person, it is a message to be better aware of people you are surrounding yourself with. If it happens continuously after, it is a vibe and the type of guys the person is interested in to put themselves in that situation time and time again. So, I wonder if such a person could call it rape when having such poor judgement for one self.
this is a tough subject for me to discuss as I myself was raped
It was by my roommates friend when I was in school in SF (the dorm was set up with 2 guys in each room)
The psychological damage didn’t show until I was in Naval bootcamp months later…
The ass hole took away my opportunity to serve my country, be in the navy, and I lost a finance to my break downs…
Rape is very real- I’ve learned to accept with happened to me, but it still haunts me every day
All I can tell you guys know how to fight and don’t be afraid to bust stuff scream yell bust out a window whatever it takes to get someone’s attention to call the law.
It happens. It happened to me in 2003. I wasn’t even looking for a sexual partner. I was on vacation. Opted to use public transit rather than rent a car. The guy was at the bus station. He was drunk. He told me to come with him. I was going to just walk away, but he had a knife. Luckily, he didn’t fuck me, but he made me suck him. I consider myself fortunate that after I gave him a BJ, he decided to let me go unharmed. The police took a report, but since I never heard from them again, I must assume they never caught the guy. It was another five years before I had my first willing sexual partner, and I’m bordering on the obsessive in making sure any guy I’m with is OK with anything we do. (BTW, this is the first time I’ve ever spoken about this with anyone who wasn’t family, a close friend, or a sexual partner)
Rape by any means isn’t fun. I was raped 14 years ago. I was at a friend’s home visiting him and his partner.I brought a bud of mine with me. My friend was expecting a guy he knew and the guy’s friend. They showed up. They started playing. I didn’t want to participate.They thought it was fun to restrain me while the Chinese guy sucked me.I cried to let me go.They just laughed. They overpowered me. I thought to myself I have to cum so the guy would let me go.I rather break free. Yet I couldn’t.Three guys restraining me.Forget it. I came.The Chinese guy left me alone and went on to someone else. I left.I met the Chinese guy 5 years later at a guy’s home whom I was dating. The guy and a bud of his went outback to talk.The Chinese guy stood there and tried forcing himself on me.This time,I overpowered him and kneeded him right in the groin.This time he cried saying I hit him.My friend yelled at me. They left.I explained to my friend what had happened years earlier.He understood. It sickens me when I hear about any kind of rape straight,or gay or innocent kids. I was lucky the guy didn’t beat on me. Having someone force sex on me was scary enough.Uncertain about his stats.
In prison, it happens on a daily basis. On the outside, not so much, but it DOES happen (or did) a lot in the tubs to drug-debilitated youngsters whose fascination for muscled leathermen MIGHT get them a little more than they bargained for.
Recently I met a guy, we started to suck each other off, and as things progressed I started to get the feeling that he was being overly aggressive. Some things he did were not pleasurable and some actions even left marks (biting, etc). I kept pushing him away when he did and shook my head no. (Should have said NO! Should have left. But I thought he would get the message.) I progressed a little further and we were laying on the bed. Then he laid on top of me and held me down with one hand on the shoulder the other hand with the thumb across my neck. There was a moment of panic, not knowing what he planned to do. Fortunately I was stronger than he thought, was able to throw him off, get dressed and leave. He saw nothing wrong with his actions, but I left with some very obvious bruises.
I don’t care if you enjoy that type of play, but anything that borders on abuse, assault, or worse needs to be clearly approved by all involved. Please don’t assume everyone enjoys that kind of play. I wasn’t raped, but I believe that I could have been.
Rape? Hell, The Victim Is Lucky.. At Least He’s Getting Dick. I Need Some Movers And Shakers In My Neck Of The Woods, Sadly All I’m Stuck With Are Turds. Shiiiit, You Don’t Need To Force Yourself On Me, I’ll Freely Give Up The Ass As Long As You’re Disease Free(LOL) And Raw At That!
I’m with Tom, this is not a serious debate/blog topic. It is not a “this happened” or a “how to prevent” discussion, it’s a what do you think if and that’s hot as hell fantasy fishing exposition. Fantasies are great but legitimate rape is no fantasy and it’s a very serious topic! I believe this thread in its current format is largely disrespectful to those that have been raped!
It does happen. The “safe sex” rule, that the other guy decided to violate. We were fooling around, and after he had me in a compromising position, forced himself into me. I was able to stop him from continuing the act, but his comment was, “too late, you’re pregnant.” That left months of fear until the tests came back negative. It was never reported, and I syill see him signed on to A4A all of the time.
First off rape is not about sex, it is about control, abuse, violence, and even death. Most rapist get off on taking control of the victim and making them submit to whatever desires they want, doing whatever it takes to make the victim submit thru physical violence, threating friends or loved ones, or drugs. Rape is not enjoyable for the victim, no lube, no affection, no consideration for the victim, it may be an object, a fist, anything but a cock to torture and hurt a victim. There is nothing about being raped that is desired or wanted by the victim. To those of you how think you want to be raped….think again, it isn’t just sex.
Hey Derrick, I’m in Minneapolis as well and have helped quite a few guys out by acting out their rape fantasies. I’m sure I could for you as well.
No is no. There is no debate on that. Anything else is sexual assault, and that is how the law should be applied, gay or straight. It’s a fucking shame so many of the gay community fantasize about re-enacting the abuse they recieved as a child. With the high visibility of the dom/slave scene in gay publications it is easy to understand the reluctance of law enforcement to take gay on gay sexual assault seriously. Like in straight rape cases the character and reputation of the victim play an inordinate role in the crimianal investigation and prosecution. We own our body, we have the right to say no. Even a prostitute can be raped. It is fundementally wrong to apply a different standard of behavior to victims of sexual assault versus victims of other violent crimes. I have a very active sex life but I don’t tolerate abuse of any sorta and I don’t abuse the rights of someone else over control of their body. Last thing I want to do is emulate the abuser of my childhood and force myself on someone.
I have a friend who accused of rape and the authorities took it very seriously. Whether he actually did or not, I don’t know, but I do know that it has caused him serious disruptions to his life. I Know that it occurs but perhaps not in a way that may people are used to hearing about.
Sadly, many of us have experienced sexual situations where we were forced or felt coerced into a situation we were either unprepared for or which was unwanted.
It’s very easy to say that if you went home with the guy you can’t complain when things go awry. Many times there is a fine line between consensual sex and feeling forced to do something you would rather not. Often alcohol or drugs are involved, but not always.
It is difficult if you fear for your safety to put a stop to something but it is what we must attempt do whenever we find ourselves in an unwanted situation. Also it is a good idea to actually have a conversation about what you want before you go home with a guy.
Learning say NO when you mean no, and always trying to leave when you hear that voice in your head telling you that something is not right may save you a lot of heartache and perhaps your life.
Based on how it’s presented, it sure seems like the writer of this post is merely fishing for j/o material.
Hot scenarios.
Thanks for the inspiration.
Bring it on!
Cannot rape the willing. Bring it on, all you breeders
I was raped when I was a teenager and it still effects me 30 years later. Over a period of 5 years starting at age 12. Some one my parents let move in the house made me do things I was not ready for and he would not take no for an answer. At least 30 times and I never told anyone until 2 years ago when I broke down.
The scenarios seem cartoonish but I suppose they could happen. If you really want your article to be taken seriously then you should do some research first.
Watch The Rape of Richard Beck. TV movie from the 80s.
Alot of yall sound a bunch of human mattress saying that you wanna be raped… what kind of shyt is that? Its not a joke!men raped all the time and not just in prison or jails. Majority of gay men do drugs, get drunk to the point that they black out and don’t know what they doing or whats going on.. many gays see this as a “freebie” or “invite” for sex & its not. Its RAPE! when you cannot consent to sex, did not consent to sex, or change your mind in the middle off it and he continues with his business its rape… i don’t see how so many can sit there and say they want to be raped let alone ganged raped.. yall got some deep rooted issues that you need to face.. rape is not a joke!!
Mark and Wannanow, and others, i must agree, most of the scenarios were causing me massive hardon and mental fantasy. Except for the Blood
I, too, find most of these scenarios a turn on. I have fantasies of arranging a hookup with a guy, having a change of mind, and having him force himself on me. I’ve always had submissive tendencies, so the thought of a guy forcing himself on me and having his way with me has always been a big turn on. Being forced down to suck his cock, slapped around a bit when I resist him, the thought of a man satisfying himself against my will will always be a hot fantasy. However, trying to find a guy to particate in a scene like this is difficult. Maybe they fear it being reported as an actual rape. Guess I’ll just have to keep trying.
A lot of guys here say they like the fantasy of rape sex, but that’s the thing, if you like it, want it, then it is by your consent and whatever happens is in mutual consent, which means it is not exactly rape. More like rough sex, domination, complete submission which is something different. If you wanna call it rape, fine, but call it “rape”, and I stress the double quotation.
There’s a fine line between the fantasy and real rape.
The idea of being raped after having a few drinks is something that I want to try. It’s the forcefull part of not being in control that turns me on. But I don’t think being raped is something that is free to do to any one gay or straight, man or woman. I’m sure there are some guys that did get raped and wouldn’t report it for fear that no one would take them serious. And to think that there are thousands of guys that want it done like me and most likely never will have it done.
I am so upset buy the ones that are taking this as a joke. We wonder why people do not want to take the gay community seriously and treat us like a joke. Yrs, thus happens more than we all think. I know when I was in high school I had 2 guys hold me down and rape me and the police did nothing, they said I was drunk and wanted it. I never even had a drop to drink beside water and juice that day, because I had a swim meet the next morning. I told them NO over and over, they just did as they wished. Well later on I did get my revenge as I cought each one out by themselves I beat the shit out of them. So we need to stand up for this and when we go and hook up online or where ever let someone know where you are.
Once again, count on men to totally miss the mark. Rape is not about the scenario. Rape is about the absence of consent
If one of those scenarios turn you on, and both you and your partner(s) have consented to the activity, then it isn’t rape. If there is no consent, then it’s rape. The more you get caught up with talking about the scenario instead od whether or not both people made uncoerced “yeses” works to reaffirm rape culture, especially in queer spaces when I’ve seen way too many of my friends get sexually assaulted and sexually assault others because they are conditioned to think certain behaviors are normal.
concerned: Thank you!
I’m a slim build light framed guy and I was raped by an older and bigger black man. Went to his place for nsa hookup. We chatted briefly, he fixed me a drink and I relaxed a bit. Then he took out a fancy-looking smoking pipe and offered it to me. I asked him what it was and he said it was meth. Now, I had never encountered this before and had only vaguely heard of it but wasn’t quite aware of how dangerous and addictive it was. So I went ahead and tried it. Instant feel-good came all over me and I became very docile and malleable. He fucked me without a condom. I recall making feeble protests but to no avail. And it hurt and I bled. He said he didn’t cum in me and I believe that. Since then I’ve been doing meth off and on about once every couple of months. My rapist made me get hooked on it, even though I am very much a functional user and can definitely go without it for long periods just fine. I end up doing it once in a while just to add some excitement….not exactly proud of it though. But that was one fateful hookup I will always remember.
A few years ago I visited a work colleague at his parents’ home. I was interested in him and wanted to get to know him better. That led to me being mauled on his couch, with him on top of me. I was on my way to my night job, and that was the only reason why he let me up. I got out of there as fast as I could and covered the bruises on my neck as best as I could. He was bigger and heavier than I was, and ever since that experience, I have shied away from larger guys, because I always remember how helpless I felt pinned under him on that couch. It wasn’t rape–we were both still clothed, and no sex occurred–but it definitely was one person physically assaulting another person who was unwilling. This wasn’t the stuff of fantasies–it was the stuff of nightmares!
My situation happened when i was very young… i was raped by a cousin of mine… was too young to know what sex was… sometimes i do wonder if sex would have a different meanincg had that not happen to me.
I guess when I think back I was raped a few times. None of the times were violent or overpowering, but after reading some of these storied I guess it doesn’t have to be. The first time I was about 19. It was with an older guy I used to meet regularly. He was very hung and I always had a hard time bottoming for him. I mean, he could hardly get the head in. One night he had wine and Valium. Next thing I knew I was on my back with my legs on his shoulders and he was all the way in! I couldn’t feel anything but got off by the look on his face. Part of me wishes I could have felt it, but the other part knows it would have never happened.
Another incident was around the same time. Again, with an older guy (me 19 him over 35) used to pick me up in his car and I would blow him in his car. This time he drove me into the city to an adult theater. It was very dark but when we sat down we started to jerk each other off a large black man sat next to me. Soon I was jerking him also. When I got on all fours and started to suck the guy who brought me, the black guy started to rim me. When he tried to enter me from behind I told him no I didn’t want to. The guy who brought me told me to let him do it so I did. I was afraid to stop him because I didn’t really know where I was in the city or how to get home. I never hooked up with those 2 tops again.
I can understand many of the comments here: ‘Not really a topic but a quest for stories’ (perhaps a more serious forum is called for).
I want to state: A rape fantasy is just that, A FANTASY. You may ponder or dream of it, however, subconsciously you are ultimately in CONTROL of that scenario. Therefore, rape fantasies are not really the desire to be hurt, forced, or actually raped.
Rape is a violent act, committed without concern for victimization, respect for rights, and even in this community it is the denial of our humanity. We, of all people, should respect our brothers
I went toba club happy hour.after 1 hour after it was over i was feeling crappy and went to take the bus back to the navy base. I was18 and this guy in a red honda accord pick me up. When i got in isaw he was bigger than me i was 57 and 150 wetamd he was like 6’5″ and 230lbs after he took off he put his hand on my leg. Left it there and said hey wann come to muy place. He was white cute blond hair and he had an open shirt and I could see his chest hair. Hairy forearms. Man was he sexy i couldnt breate or talk so i shook my head yes. After we got to his place he took off my clothes. He licked my foot after he ttok off one tennis shoe and then removed the other one and did the same. Then at the same time he removed my pants fast and laid me on the bed. When i saw his hard cock and it was like 11 inches. Before that id only seen one about 5 like mine. He slapped me real hard on my right face cheek and I was stunned. He slap me with the other hand on the other cheek then he grabbed the top of my hair and said suk my dick bitch! I couldnt put it in my mouth it was too big so i licked the tip and around the head and his huge shaft a sucked on his balls. Then he threw mee face down on the bed and shoved that monster dick head in my asshole, I had never been streched like that and he kept pushing it in until it was all in and then he turned me around on his dick and he started to play with my dick unit i came all over every thing and then he started to move in and out. I begged to stop all the while . he finally came in deep my ass and left it in there til he was soft. I was crying and in pain as he took it out i went to the rest room to clean out .i couldnt shut my ass and shit came out and i flushed toilet and splashed water on my big gaping ass hole and stayed like that for a while until i could close it. I got dressed he gave me a ride to the navy gate. And before i got out he grabbed me by my hair and kissed me and put his card in my tee shirt pocket and said callme Bitch and hopefully by then your ass will be tight again! Then he let go of my hair and i got out all wobbly. My ass hurt for five days. I couldnt hold shit in my ass from the assfucking he gave me. I had to stay close to rest rooms and use prep h to calm down my swolen ass. I never told any one because i was so ashamed that i liked it. Man i had never come this hard or had so much hot come in my ass. I still like to jerk off to this fuk story of mine. I read a story about this woman porn star that had had bad experience. And her response was make it work for you. So thats what i do now. I wish i would have called him again!
I’m a slim build light framed guy and I was raped by an older and bigger man. Went to his place for nsa hookup just for oral/jo. We chatted briefly, he fixed me a drink and I relaxed a bit. Then he took out a fancy-looking smoking pipe and offered it to me. I asked him what it was and he said it was meth. Now, I had never encountered this before and had only vaguely heard of it but wasn’t quite aware of how dangerous and addictive it was. So I went ahead and tried it. Instant feel-good came all over me and I became very docile and malleable. He fucked me without a condom. I recall making feeble protests but to no avail. It hurt and I bled. He said he didn’t cum in me and I believe that. Since then I’ve been doing meth off and on about once every couple of months. My rapist made me taste it for the very first time. So far, though, I am very much a functional user and can definitely go without it for long periods just fine. I end up doing it once in a while just to add some excitement….not exactly proud of it though. But that was one fateful hookup I will always remember.
#3 & #5 have happened to me
First time was #5, either I had a bad reaction to the poppers he had (or something was mixed in it), but I blacked out and everything was fuzzy. When I came too I was in the shower, and my dick had purple dots all over (turns out they were bruises). We had met up for sex, but the last thing I remembered was pointing to the condoms and lube & telling him to use them.
Cops were useless,(2007), then tried to turn it on me when I decided to drop the charges when we found out he was a mayor of a nearby town. Were going to try and charge me for “sodomy”. They couldn’t though.
2014/2015 – New Years Eve – Guy is positive and I’ve had a poz bf in the past, over 4 years relationship played it safe. Met up, foreplay, heating up, he starts playing with my ass then I tell him “just a minute, get the condoms”. Doesn’t listen, forces himself on me & in me.
Took shower afterward, lied to him so I could get out of there, went to hospital & got on PEP within 2 hours.
Only got dosage in ER, had trouble getting the scripts ($1.3k for one, $1.1k for other), took ex-bf’s Atripla for a couple doses.
Cops were actually concerned, friend took me there and asked for FEMALE officer (which I think helped). Sergeant went to the hospital to talk to ER staff. Since hospital failed to do a rape kit and I had a BM, had to play the waiting game. Negative after 2 months, going to be tested again soon.
Might be part luck, might be part that I have partial resistance to due to genes (but not total, could still get it), so we will see. If I do become positive, we can test the strain between him and I, if it matches he’ll be prosecuted for criminal transmission.
I am a victim of rape.
I was at a party with friends from class. We had too much to drink. I blacked out and woke up with a guy I didn’t know. I was naked and had semen around my hole.
I didn’t tell anyone, I was embarrassed. I didn’t know how to deal. What kind of guy gets raped is what was running through my mind. I buried it and tried to forget about it.
flash forward to 5 months later. I experienced weird things going on with my body. I didn’t get tested because I was scared. So here I am 5 months after the incident scared out my mind of what the test results were.
I found out I was luckily still HIV negative,but I was infected with chlamydia and syphilis.
Rape is serious. Don’t put it away, get help and get tested. I was stupid to think I could brush off something traumatic like that.
I’m 22 and this is my story. In early December 2014, I was raped, beaten, and held against my will over night by my former roommate. The following morning, bloodied and beaten to a pulp, I ran over 2 miles to the nearest hospital for help. I reported the entire event to the police twice in writing. Once in the hospital and once after. They simply just stopped contacting me. I even went as far to meet with a detective nearly 2 months later at the police station to identify my assailant and give a written statement immediately after. I was called 4 weeks later by a replacement detective to ask me for the assailants contact information (the original detective assigned to my case had taken a vacation in the middle of her investigation). I want to shed light on how disregarded rape cases are in this system. Because I am a man, I feel that especially so in my case. Instead of being treated like the victim I was, the law treated me as though I had committed a crime myself and that my description of the events may be skewed because of there assumptions regarding my sexuality.
At 12 yrs old I was raped by the 16 yr old son of a pastor. His siblings were friends of mine. And one day he found me alone and raped me. I saw him getting hard and I asked why. Then he showed it to me and the rest is history. This continued for over a year. He used to say it was me or my younger sisters. Later I found out he lost a hand in an accident. I guess karma it’s a bitch!
Well I’ve never had the balls to talk about this until now. Guys don’t confess to rape and often will not report it. The difference (for me) between the rape fantasy and a real rape is that the victim fears bodily harm. I chatted with a guy on here maybe twice some years ago. He invited me out to his place. I drove 45 mins to get there. I rang the bell of his apt and quite a few seconds passed before he opened the door. I knew he had been staring at me through the peephole. He invited me in,closed the door, and immediately pulled up a chair and sat down facing me. We were in the narrow hallway of his apt and I hadn’t taken more than one step away from the door. I wasn’t able to move, and he was within arm’s length. He just stared at me with a blank face. Then he said “you are not really my type. This is not gonna work.” I said ok and he let me out. I got downstairs and my cell rang. It was him with some apology about being tired or something. He said I should come back for a drink. Well I reasoned that he probably felt badly about my long trip down to him, and at least we had established a good rapport on the phone prior to my visit. This time he invited me in to his living room. I noticed the living room had been converted into a bedroom, and at the opposite end of the short hallway was another room which he explained belong to his roommate who was away. He invited me to sit down while he got busy clearing away some things. I noticed that he was at least 6’2″ and very muscular, quite the opposite of my 5’7″ and 150 lb frame. I wasn’t particularly attracted to him. He made his way back to the entrance to the living room, closed and locked the door. He moved back toward me with purposeful speed reached out and slapped me across my face. I saw stars and every other possible constellation! I started to protest but he warned me that if I made any noises he would really fuck me up. He hit me over and over. My mind kept telling me that he had a gun or a knife and that this was going to end up terribly if I did not comply. He was going to kill me or at least steal my wallet, my car, and my clothes and throw me out naked in the cold. And I just knew that the cops would do nothing about this because this is what you get when you go with strangers form off a sexsite. Perhaps I would get an embarrassing story in the Post which would talk about my being a respected professional and that it was disgraceful that this was the way I sought my paramours. I also kept wondering at what point he was going to stab or shoot me. THEN.. (this is the part some of you have been waiting for..)
He forced me to my knees dropped his pants and told me to suck his dick. I was wondering why he trusted that I was not going to bite it off… his little less than average dick! Well at least I knew that my mouth and my anus were going to get out of this alright. Couldn’t say the same for my bruised face and my bruised self esteem. I complied and sucked his little dick. My flaccid member hung proudly as a trophy, the surprise ingredient that turns me from a plain old Joe to a must have! (lol) At least there was some triumph in those very bleak moments. I wasn’t doing a good job at fellatio either. I cannot suck a small penis. He pushed me towards the couch and almost ripped off my pants and underwear. He never stopped hitting me. Every few minutes another slap would come. He actually put on a condom and proceed to rape my manhole. I remained motionless on my knees until he came. I soiled his condom brown and was happy I did! He went to the bathroom and told me not to move. When he came back he told me to get dressed and drive him to work!! We left the apartment building and I wanted to bolt but still feared for my life. I obligingly drove him to work, listened in disbelief as he alighted from the car and told me to call him later that night. I drove back to my borough grateful that I was alive. I soaked and scrubbed and scrubbed and soaked for days afterwards.
Obviously I changed some of my dating practices going forward. I also will not date a big guy unless I really know him, and know that he is a teddy bear. Now perhaps what happened to me was no different from the slave and sex master role playing. However that experience was not fun for I had not consented to abuse and mistreatment. Two final comments…. Unfortunate events like mine happen to all races (we were both African American). My rapist is probably still on here, along with many other like him.
Thanks bloggers. You guys played psychologist for me… Thanks for listening.
Fantasy? Rape? There IS a difference, and it’s a crucial one. The difference is CONSENT, which can be withdrawn (and must be respected) at any time during a scene. LOTS of guys have rape fantasies, and it’s fine to play them out as long as both/all parties agree. It can look like whatever the parties agree upon. If one party (or more) does not consent at any time in the interaction, and the other parties continue, it is the absence of consent that makes it rape, at least psychologically speaking. When it’s against one’s will, it’s rape.
The truth about rape vs. fantasy and fishing for stories to get aroused by is not what anyone of you here have even come close to talking about and it makes me wonder if this form is just for fanatasy talk and nothing more, or is there a real interest and need for the gay community to have a resource of information that is geared to our Community.
Rape is NOT about sex and getting off. Rape is a crime of violence. It’s not a weekend at a hotel with some big beefy man your attracted to, with you saying “oh, no stop…don’t stop”.
Grow up boys. How disappointing it is to click on a link thinking that there might be some useful or educational value to the topic posted. And then to find this type of discussion. It’s 2015. Get educated.
First if you leave your drink unattended your asking for problems, second its a good way to get HIV. Enough said.
This posting is fishing for rape stories and not a serious discussion. I know there are men out there with a rape fantasy, just like there are women out there who have the same fantasies. Take it from someone who’s been there, the real thing if it ever happens to you will NOT be a turn on. I was raped multiple times as a teenager by the husband of one of my mother’s friends. It really screwed me up and I got into drugs and drink to try and deal with it because I was living in the Bible Belt south and I knew nobody would either believe me or care about my story if I told anyone. So this man forced himself on me for years until he finally moved away during my senior year of high school. I was able to pull myself together after he left and managed to quit the drugs, go to college and make a life for myself. I would not wish a rape on my worst enemy though…it’s not a fantasy it’s a terrible reality.
Any sexual act without both parties consent is rape. In kinky/risque sexual acts, remember to Establish a “Safe Word”, if it’s used and play continues, it’s rape.
I was raped when I was 23 by 2 aggresive tops in the bushes of a NY Highway Rest Area, lured in by one for a BJ, jumped by another. My Virgin ass was left bloody & dripping with semen. I resisted, I said No, I was raped. I knew my assailants & both died of AIDS within a year. For years I was traumatized.
Rape is Rape no matter how you sensationalize it.
I’ve been raped a couple times from hook ups- and as ‘hot’ as it sounds, it’s anything BUT hot. I had a man who overpowered me and refused to use a condom ( after we agreed to safe sex) He even wanted his friends to come over. I remember knowing that If i tried to fight i’d loose the energy needed to get out and run, so I let him fuck me. and after he went in the bathroom, i took off so fast.
The other time I was raped, the guy was very endowed – being a small guy I can handle larger men, but i also know my limits. I was willing to let him have sex with me, in a couple positions ONLY (due to his size) but he wanted to fuck me in a position that I knew I couldn’t accommodate, and he fucked me so hard. I was in the hospital the next day, I had a tear, and for almost two weeks I couldn’t walk. I know we all joke about that, but trust me, IT WASN”T FUNNY or FUN. I bled so much and my excuse was ‘i hurt my tailbone’ but holy fuck, it was awful . Should I have reported it, YES probably, did I, no.
WHY? – because I know how most cops are, they think that because you met a guy online, from a HOOKUP SITE, you were ‘asking’ for it. And honestly, I was, but the idea that ‘no means no’ or ‘STOP means STOP’ doesn’t exist if you’re meeting from a hook up site. Its not like any of these two men were attacking me from a dark alley, I willingly went to their house. I’m not sure it would have held up in court, and besides, what would I have won if I pressed charges? A enemy that I’d be afraid of? Someone new to piss off? They clearly were able to over power me, last thing i need is them to know where i live, or my full name or anything else. Filing a report wouldn’t have lessened the pain i went through or embarrassment from the Hospital, when they asked all the probing questions. Accusing them of Rape would do nothing, except make me relive it over and over again. Then there are people who say, “well you let a rapist go free” and my reply is this, BECAUSE Of them, i screen the guys I meet, quite heavily, and I now to go the gym, I work out, and I know how to fight and defend myself. ” I understand unreported rape, but I also know that its better to arm yourself than to continue living a nightmare
most if not all of the scenerios occur because we are reckless and just meet up with anyone so things like this are then more likely to happen. The only issue is I have had someone try not use protection and lied about it. That actually is the danger of a hookup site and meeting after you get drunk which is the new normal now for many
These guys that call rape Fantasy are total IDIOTS. You can’t rape the willing. What if this guy that wanted sex from you was Someone you wouldn’t ever even let kiss you. I am sure you would say NO. Rape is about taking power away from the victim. Don’t get it mixed up with Group SEX. The warped view of Rape vs. Fantasy are just sickening.
Think about what you desire. The reality could be you getting hurt physically and emotionally.
So sad to read comments like a few here.
Fantasizing about rape are you kidding me? That is the problem in the gay community…too many gay guys don’t understand what sex is really all about. Having forced sex is not a sexual experience but a brutal, dehumanizing act of dominance that cheapens the experience two guys can have with each other. Why would u have sex with someone who is pass out or unconscience? Are u into necrophiliia or Beastiality or some other form of strange sex? consensual sex between two guys is an expression and an experience that should be enjoyed by both. Today’s guys watch way to many porn vids that glamorize this kind of behavior and not only cheapen the intimate experience between two men, but make sex an animalistic endeavor that lowers you to a level far below the human experience. Giving yourself to someone else is the greatest expression of what it means to be human….why would you throw that away fro a few minutes of selfish gratification and of course the possibility of contacting a life killing disease. These kinds of acts are what is making it impossible to be accepted by the “straight” community and the advancement of acceptance as a human form of sexual expression.
Yeah, many guys didn’t quite understand the topic. It was not about bottom sluts fantasizing about getting raped guys…It was about something serious, a rape.
I have to comment. As a young boy I was raped/molested over several years by a older cousin. I wasnt sure what to do or say never told my parents. As children my parents were young and irresponsible, so I spent a lot of time with or at other relatives houses;aunts, uncles and grandmothers. My cousin made me feel I was special, he would fuck me and clean me up as nothing ever happened. I would just take it didnt know any better, he was would use saliva or vaseline for lube. This still bothers me, cause I dont know why I was his special victim what is what about me that appealed or excited him to do this to me. Im not sure my exact age when it started but about Id say 7/8 yo I was little boy but continued till I was 12/13 it was infrequent but often enough. I have so many questions about all that the WHY. But havent been able to although he is back in my city(home) and still see him at family functions I cringe in his presence would sometime like to know why me? I used to favor him as a older cousin so couldnt tell on him and the sickest part is that I had feelings for him and NO, not the sex I liked him. Ironic through all the times he violated me…I never saw his dick with my eyes, just knew how it felt. When I stayed at his house I would always have to sleep in his bed, at my grandmothers we would always share the same bed. I have seen since being an adult he appears to be a endowed man so I know why I hurt from him. I have lived with this for 40 almost fifty years so many questions and issues of sexuality. I just wish it was something I couldve done, but it was rape.
RD
I won’t go into details. All I will say is that it is a demeaning, degrading, “out of body” experience to go through. And it very much shakes your confidence and your belief in the good nature of people.
I’ve spoken with a lot of guys online who have told me about adolescent experiences that they have had with older men. Most that included anal intercourse indicated that they did not enjoy the interaction initially, and none said that they initiated it. But none of them called it rape. Some came to enjoy anal intercourse later on, and some eventually referred to themselves as gay or bi. Some never repeated anal intercourse, and often identified as straight, but were chatting about their experiences, either because they were seeking to understand themselves or they found the experience arousing, even though they disliked it initally.
Recently, I spoke with a young man who was involved sexually with a basketball coach (mutual masturbation, oral sex) for several weeks. After one practice, however, when he was looking for the coach, he found him having anal sex with a teammate (who was clearly not enjoying the experience). The sight frightened him and he tried to leave, but the coach, angry at having been discovered, pulled him back in (he was 13 at the time), beat him seriously, and anally raped him (while the other boy watched, horrified). Even he did not describe this experience as rape, until I suggested that’s what it was.
We’ve talked several times since then, and he understands that the coach was likely preparing him for anal sex. Had it continued, the kid probably would have described the eventual anal sex as consensual, whether or not he enjoyed it, but in my book, it’s still rape.
I understand rape fantasies. It can be arousing to give up control and have your wishes dismissed. But in reality, this causes so much confusion in most victims that it can be seriously debilitating to adaptive sexual functioning.
And yes, I have a counseling background, although I am not currently practicing. I also suppose that I hear many more of these stories online than most, because I see situations (in profiles, in other comments) and explore. In several cases, I am quite certain that the interaction that we have had online leads to someone understanding themselves better, or getting additional help when needed.
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May 13, 2015 at 09:51
Yeah, many guys didn’t quite understand the topic. It was not about bottom sluts fantasizing about getting raped guys…It was about something serious, a rape.”
The basic problem was the manner in which the initial question was posed. The poster said “I just wanted to know the views of the community on gay rape.” For sure, he got numerous “views”.
And with just about everything man/sexual related, views are across the board. So Mr. “I just Wanted to Know”, do you now know?
@Tiger – I wonder about the same thing also. Would it be different? I really don’t know.
Rape is a crime no matter the age. After personally being forced twice in my lifetime and the pain both physically and emotionally it caused can really effect what happens in relationships with other men following. Never force another to have sex they don’t want. NEVER !! It’s rape. I know society is full of it unreported and many go to jail…maybe 1 % … but there are so many that thrive on it….forceful sex. Folks it is plain wrong an damaging. And please have age appropriate sex. If you are an adult…sex with adults legally of age and above. Teens have sexual exploration together..that is different..but for an adult to steal that from another an forcefully there is defense. Rape occurs on a regular an routine basis in the gay world , as I am sure it does in the straight. I am not sure that awareness and education will stop it. We live in a sick society…selfish and narcissistic..for a few moments of so called pleasure…really..PATHETIC
can someone please tell me what in the fuck is wrong wit my ad. I feel like if I change my profile and throw up dick, ass and ball shots up my inbox would be flooded but then if I do that I’m being someone that I think someone wants me to be instead of being me. PLEASE CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM.
– sexcismoothedude
Two instances for me. First one, I was 18. I was invited to what I thought was a party by my boss. When I got there, it was 4 older guys. They tried to offer me drugs and alcohol…I said i’d take a water. I didn’t realize it at the time but when they gave me a bottle of water, it was already open. I drank from it…15 minutes later, I started to feel funny. They kept trying to get me into the hottub. I told them I forgot something in my car, drove a few miles down the road and waited for the GHB to wear off. Thankfully I was aware enough to know what was happening. Those guys were so sketchy and I can only imagine what would have went down.
Second time was recently. Craigslist hookup game over…beforehand, we talked about only safe sex. When he got there, he insisted on unsafe. I was really drunk and topped him unprotected. After I came, he insisted that he top me…I told him no and he forced himself on me…I kept saying to stop and he held me down and finished. I later found out he had HIV. I went through a major scare and went through 3 months of hell and testing. Thankfully, I was lucky and am negative.
This last experience has really made me think about what I do…sex is fun but its not worth a death sentence. Find someone you can trust.
I think being gay, we grow up to feel like we need to be subservient, and accept that things will happen to us because we put ourselves in that situation. I met a really cool guy I thought, went out, got drinks, did some oral, we both came. I passed out, assuming he did too. I woke up to him inside me, fucking me, and I asked what he was doing and got him to stop. His exact words were, “you should never let anyone fuck you without a condom, but I’m clean.” Great thing to hear from someone you never wanted to fuck in the first place, let alone give up your ass to for the first time. I was 22. Now, I am a lot different, I work out a lot, and leave when I get an uncomfortable feeling. It is what I should have done that night, instead of feeling bad and that I inconvenienced him.
Wow, disgusting. Some of the comments in here are the reasons why People view gays in a negative way. Some of you get turned on by rape…. SMH. What is the world coming too. Anyway I think people need to speak out more, but no one will because they are afraid and embarrassed, and it has a lot to do with gender. I’m a victim of rape… Like real rape, My ex-bf raped me. I never told anyone because I knew it wouldn’t be seen as rape.
I wish some well hung stud or studs would rape me . I would love every moment of it .
I can have my hole lubed, up in the air in a room with 10 tops and I enjoy being restrained and pumped by all and seconds. But the moment I resist or say no, that person wanting to fuck me better stop and let me go. For RAPE happens when one of the parties involved says no, STOP, or resists the penetration.
I was raped at 10 by a much older family friend. A man I admired and loved as a brother. One night, whilst at a birthday party for my father, he asked me to accompany him to his parent’s house. Not far from mine. As we entered, he grabbed me by the back of the neck and started pulling my pants and undies off. He threw me face down on the bed and spit in between my ass cheeks. And then he went balls deep inside my virgin ass. I screamed and writhed, but he got more turned on, finally breeding my hole in no more than 2 minutes.
I was crying and he hugged me and said that I was now a man. He did this to me for 4 years until my family and I moved out of the country.
I kept in touch even after he was married and had children of his own. And we never talked about it. Until a few weeks before he passed away. He held my hand and said he was sorry for all he had done to me. After bouts of anxiety and depression and being unable to have a meaningful relationship, I had to forgive him and forgive ME, because I was the victim, of his RAPE and of my own loathing. Victims of RAPE will usually blame themselves for the violation we have been subjected to.
Do Not Blame yourself, talk it out, find a support group and love yourself.
Continued.
The body cant help but feel. I know thats what happened in my ass. Because of the scrimping on lube ,his big cock. Every time I thinkabout it. I know it was huge and very fat around at first i tried sucking him off but i couldnt get the head in my mouth.
After he had moved it in and out like about 100 and i kept sceaming “take it out please yor hurting me and just plain yelling in pain and fear” times my ass was loose and well lubed.
After the 100th slide he grabbed/gripped my 5.8 in dick and was jerking me off until i came and meanwhile I am still trying to tihgten my ass to get him out of there, I reached down to his dick in my ass and it feels with my hand as if it s 4.5 inches across height and width. And that is when i came hard because he had a kung fu grip while he jerked me off hard. and i thought he would quit because I came. and then decided that it wasn’t gonna come out till he came.weel i thought if i cant squeeze him out,I’ll push him out as if i was gonna shit.an d then it became pleasurable although his dick got rock hard in my ass and he said im gonnas come. Ifelt his hot come shoot way up in my ass and the pleasure and pain was very imense and i came again. During some time i was trying to get his dick outta my ass/pulling it with my hands up and side ways . I caused dammage to my ass and cause alot of tears in it. After this rape any time i do anal its very uncomfortable and i have this feeling of ripping open. Ow! Yes my can fel both pleasure and pain and it was RAPE. I found this writing very therapeutic. I love pleasure,not pain. So my fuck buddies now do it slowly but i prefer to use a dildo. Hard1forus on a4a
My dick is like 6.3 around and measuring coorectly 5.8 inches. I put an ad on c.l. for “to get my dicked sucked and then I’ll fuck you! Or suck me off til i cum hope fully in your mouth” so this young 32 yo guy answered “I’ll suck you off then you can fuck meok?”. So then I met him at a house he was showing and we got naked . I got on my kness and he got on all fours and suked me till I was hard and ready. I put on a condom and went to his back side. He was lubbiing his hole and gave me some to put on the plastic. I aimed at his hole,wiggled my cock around till I saw my head was going in and he pushed back and Ahhhhh! I was in. I pushed in half an inch and out. I asked if he was ok and he said dont move lemme get used to your bg cock(i love to hear that)then he said ok go in. So i pushed in about my three inch mark and it got caught there. I grabbed his hips and manage to wiggle+ pushed in like a little more.I so wanted to push in the rest so i could feel that nice tight ness but then I decided to stsay in the moment and enjoy looking at my hard cock being strangled by his hairy ass hole. Then suddenly he says under his breath in a whisper and I can see he has his teeth gritted in the mirror and he is not enjoying my cock in his ass,”Please stop, take it out”so i stop pushing.and slowly but faster than i put it in start taking it out when the fat head starts passing out he whinces and im out and ask him wanna try again? He says “I’m so sorry for dragging you out here im sorry i thought i could take your cock but its my fist time! So now i don’t or do feel bad. Im upset cuz i didnt come in his nice warm ass. And i feel bad that he didnt say he was a ass vigen. And i feel good because I popped his cherry and it WILL BE A GOOD FUTURE JRKING OFF MEMORY. SO I LOOK DOWN SEE IT ON THE condom and quikly invert it as im pulling it off my dick and no. Its ok iim glad you didnt feel obligated to just let me continue and hurt you in the process. I cansee he is embarrassed so I start talking about some thing else as i walk towds him and hug him,I kiss him and he kisses me back and we stand there naked with my hard on on his tummy and we stay like that,hugging for a while. I ask him if he wants to try again and he says no. I say hey i wanna clean up. I go clean up he joins me and he sits on the john and starts wiping with paper and says ow my ass hurts! I didnt think that it was that big until you spread my ass open. I ts cool i say as i wash up with a quick soapless cold shower(it was summer in san diego)and as i get out of the shower his mouth is where my dick is and he puts my uncut dick in his mouth without peeling it back. I can feel his tongue swirling in towards the head and I let him do this until im hard and he grabs my balls and puts them both in his mouth for like 5 minutes then peels my foreskin back and knobbs my head until I come in his mouth and he keeps swirling his tounge until afer the death tickles subsideand then he put my whole dick in his mouth and keeps sucking out every last drop until im flaccid and very fucking spent. My cock pops out of his mouth an d says sorry.i say its cool and then he stands up and he says french? I say ok and we kiis. Isay bye call me again if you wanna finish it!i get dress and i leave. I can still taste his mouth with my sweet cum. Loved it. Im glad i was able to conrol myself with this animal cum spewing need. Just because I was raped that does not mean I have to pay it back to some poor mother fucker looking for ass pleasure, and is unsure about setting rules,limits,safewords,or what have you.
Rape is not “I was too scared to say no!” Rape is, I said no and he did out any way, or “I was drugged and passed out” and he did it any way. There must be a lack of consent. You getting drunk and then feeling”yucky” about itu doesn’t make it rape, though, you’re probably drinking too much. Also, stop having random sexual encounters if it doesn’t make u feel good.
As far as I’m concerned rape is rape. It shouldn’t matter whether it’s a man or a woman. It’s all about consent. I see guys here fantasizing about a rape scenario, but if its consensual it’s not really rape is it. Now I have had a variation of scenario number two happen to me, but when the other guys entered the room I gave consent for them to fuck me as well. No means no otherwise it’s rape and that’s the end of it.
The scenarios you give are titillating, unfortunately rape is not. If you want to start a serious discussion, please do, but take the “eroticism” out of your lead in.
Ant and I were dating for 8 months, when I found out he had a Meth addiction. I didn’t know how dangerous the drug was, so I believed him when he said he stop immediately. A week after I found out, Ant began avoiding me. No calls, no texts, nothing. Then on Friday, he finally calls asking to go to dinner. I agreed and met him at a restaurant in the Gayborhood. Immediately, Ant tells me he ist ready for a relationship and a break would be the best for us. I was devastated, but I agreed. After the longest dinner ever, Ant and I go back to his place, where his roommates are throwing a party. Unfortunately, I drank too much and passed out. When I woke up, I had no clothes on and Ant was already inside of me. I remember crying and begging him to stop, but he he kept raping me. I tried pushing him off, but he was a lot bigger than me. When he was done, he put on his clothes and left me alone in his room. After sitting there for 2 hours, I got dressed and went home. I never told anyone because Ant was very well known around town. He was also in Grad school and came from a family with money. I was the opposite. To this day, I regret not reporting the rape. It was 9 years ago and still effects my daily life.
I’ve never experienced rape by a male… Well at least I don’t think so. I know I was drugged and raped by a girl in high school. Took me some time before I could really trust any female friends. I’ve woken up in the aftermath of a bi orgy a few times. Though no one said what went on. After all those incidents, I stopped drinking with people I knew from school. To be honest I don’t want to know. What happened, all I know is I felt ashamed of myself.