A4A : Homophobia
Homophobia is an insidious phenomenon that often succeeds in taking hold in a subtle, discreet and often invisible ways. Nobody is immune from hostility and hurtful acts directed towards homosexuals and homosexuality itself. Even we as homosexuals may adopt homophobic behaviors to shield ourselves from the hate and aggression that comes from homophobia.
The International Day Against Homophobia (IDAHO) strives to fight all forms of Homophobia. Large scale, world-wide efforts like this are needed, as 1.5 billion people globally still live under regimes which criminalize gay relationships.
Held on May 17th, the day is set aside as a rallying cry to everyone, offering all persons an opportunity to gather and reach, regardless of their sexual orientation.
Spearheaded by Fondation Émergence, “National Day Against Homophobia” was organised for the first time in Québec on June 4, 2003. Fondation Émergence and their partners worked hard to have this annual day be observed throughout Canada. What’s more, countries such as Belgium, France and United-Kingdom caught on to the idea and have set up similar events. As the word spread, May 17 became the day selected as the International Day Against Homophobia. This date was chosen based on the World Health Organisation’s decision to decategorise homosexuality as a mental disorder.
Last year, events taking a stand against homophobia were held in seventy countries. This year, IDAHO coordinators say activists in 95 countries around the world have planned some form of event.
To learn more about Fondation Émergence and the International Day Against Homophobia, visit Fondation Émergence‘ s website or to find more information on the events taking place around the world to mark IDAHO today, visit dayagainsthomophobia.org.
Dave
FINALLY! Thank you for the recent changes to the BLOG.
I am pretty new to all this; however, one thing I have certainly noticed is the myriad of ways homophobia has influenced our community. I’m all for people enjoying their sexuality, but the lack of maturity and our treatment of our brothers (and sisters) disappoints me. I fully realize that the loss of many, who may have been our patriarchs, at a young age, has left us a community in transition and still ‘growing up.’
I further hope that blogs such as this one remind us all that homophobia can be as internalized, as it has been externalized. This community is diverse, and perhaps we can respect each other enough to embrace issues of race & ethnicity, body image, and sexuality in mature and practical ways. Wake up; whether you spend your days trying to turn straight men, or proudly marching to support rights, we are BROTHERS and we must respect ourselves, if we want to truly end homophobia
IDAHO???? NO!!! U DA HO!!!! Lol I’m sorry i had to but joking aside this is awesome! Let’s stop internal homophobia in our communities as well.
I’ve shied away from the pro-gay movement over the last few years, because it implies cisnomativity. We should all be accepted, whether ‘gay’, black, trans, etc. Our understanding as a society of sex, sexuality and gender is deeply flawed, and so are their accordant movements.
I live in California where homosexuality is for the most part considered perfectly normal. Unlike other parts of the world, and indeed some states in our union, being gay here is no big deal at all. It’s hard to believe that in the Islamic world, being gay can lead to a death sentence preceded by torture. We American homosexuals should feel damn lucky to live where we do!
I realize there are places where it is actually a punishable crime, and there is real hate for gay people. In the USA, there is some I am sure. I have to distinguish between hate, fear, or loathing, and the outright view that some hold, however uninformed, that it is sinful or morally wrong. I think we need a new word besides homophobia. Not sure how it came into use, but most never question the accuracy of using the term. It seems to me there are actually few that “fear” it. There are certainly a few cases of people who truly fear it. It means a male who has a fear of other males who are gay, or who fear others may think they themselves are gay. Some actually who may be gay are in denial and act out in ways which are hateful. Not everyone who is hateful toward gay men is a closet case, however. I think the laws were passed based on moral codes which have their roots in Judeo-Christian tradition, or at least PERCEIVED tradition. Uncertainties of early attitudes and moral codes exist. At any rate, I do not think the largest problem gay people face is FEAR on the part of the greater share of the population. Most of the difficulty is based on IDEOLOGY. The US is an unhealthy bipolar nation which needs treatment! If those “opposed” to gay “rights”, marriage, etc. had been WISE, long ago, they would have provided for CIVIL rights and CIVIL unions. Part of our population will not let loose of the concept of marriage for religious ideological or theological reasons. Therefore, I would have proposed long ago that gay people seek civil unions and leave the name “marriage” for traditional people. It is a matter of practicality. If someone wants to have a traditional marriage ceremony, more power to them.. find the minister or priest or rabbi who will agree to perform it. Spend all the money on it you like. I think by and large our country has made a MOCKERY of the thing called marriage. I say, what I have with MY partner is far above anything our society provides in MARRIAGE. So let civil union SOLVE the legal issues and everyone get on with life. There IS no settling of this argument over terminology of MARRIAGE. Personally, I say F**K what society calls marriage and holy and righteous and all that crap. People marry every day and divorce very frequently. I admire the people who stick together out of love and respect to one another, straight or gay. The biggest problem is people NOT being loving or respectable in the first place, so they cannot enjoy togetherness, whatever you choose to call it!
When someone says something to me homophobic I just smile and say ‘That’s no way to hit on me’ or ‘Are you looking to get laid?’ That usually quiets ’em up.
Here’s a true story:
Before I came out and was living the straight life, I met my best friend. Whenever we would go places, if he saw a gay couple, he would avoid contact with them. One time we even switched lines in a grocery store because there was a gay couple there.
When I came out to him, I almost lost him as a friend even though we had been friends for 15 years. After a few days, he came around and the friendship is mended.
I got divorced after I came out and I have custody of my two sons. He lives with me and helps care for them. It’s platonic….he’s VERY straight and we are not even like that at all.
Through talking to him, I discovered that he really does have a phobia of gays. He’s not prejudiced against them; it’s just that the thought of two men being together in a romantic way is very alien to him. So, his phobia really stems from a fear of the unknown.
In recent years, the phobia has subsided immensely. Being friends with me has helped him to see that the homosexual community is nothing to be feared.
I’m not really sure that homophobia will ever be eliminated. There will always be that element of folks who are prejudiced against groups that are different than they are. However, we must realize that there are people in the straight community who are truly apprehensive of gays, purely for fear of the unknown.
Not everyone who’s afraid of us hates us. We all just need to remember that.
@ HunterL,
Thanks, but i’d say if some gay guy is “spend(ing) your days trying to turn straight men”… He isn’t my brother. He’s a vile, predatory fag that doesn’t respect others’ identities and possibly hates out gay men himself.
Disgusting.
Homophobia’s passé. The trailer trasher church nutters will ALWAYS have it, as will the wannabe str8 guys down south who’re deathly afraid of their own sexuality, as will a whole bunch of other parts of society. You will NOT change them, at ALL. Just learn how to defend yourself, if need be, and don’t be a pussy about it. Let’s clean up our OWN house first…what about BIPHOBIA? It is RAMPANT in the gay male world, and yes they think nothing of it. It’s the SAME THING, guys…good gawd, girl, GET A GRIP!
Good topic. I totally agree with HunterL, we need to build ourselves up mentally and emotionally to take on this problem!
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I live in a small southern city which says it all. We are hated, ignored made fun of and so on. I’ve lived here all my life. Preachers have series of sermons on homosexuals. At the same time how many pastors, ministers of music and others I know lead secret lives. Married to cover up but sneak around having sex with men. Wonder what the congregation would think? But I’ll never tell. I don’t talk. I’m loyal always. So you people in church, be careful with the laughs. You never know who you’re talking too. And it just might be someone in your family. Think about that.
So, how does one identify the often invisible homophobia? Are you just saying “I suspect it and know its there so I’m hurt by it” ??
Be careful not to manufacture an issue where ther might not be one
I am of the opinion that guys who exhibit homophobic behavior are bowing to the pressure of societal stereotypes and are most likely not 100% confident in their sexuality so instead of exploring the feelings they are experiencing they go all homophobic instead and verbally or physically attack the LGBT community.
Homophobia is still around. I see and hear it every day. I have a neighbor nearby who was molested by a man when he was a child..Beause of it he,s afraid of me and imagines crazy things and confronts me on it. I told him I was sorry to hear that had happened to him but I am not attracted to you and I do not molest anyone because I am gay. I don,t think it is fair for someone who has been molested to think anyone who is gay is a molester. Why should we suffer for the wrong doers who molest and have this stereotype that we are molesters..There are plenty of straight men who do the same to young girls. For all I know my neighbors molester could be straight or bi. I feel we should NOT be responsible for the bad actions of others just because we are gay. To have people be afraid of you that you might have a crush on them is nonsense. Not every gay man instantly falls into lust with straight men. There still needs to be a lot of educating to do for these kind of homophobic people . They need to learn the facts. I am 55 years old and I hope to see an end to this evil and ignorant thinking.
This is silly for the most part. Any event or day held will simply attract only the people it is being held for. Singing to the choir is the least effective method of getting anything done that the choir needs done.
As for so called internal homophobia; That’s mostly nonsense and only a name used by the gay people who have a phobia of their own against, homosexuals who simply choose not to live their lives in a stereotypical gay fashion, but prefer to create their own personal life style.
Gay people love calling other people they don’t like names, the same as those who don’t like gays call them names. I guess it makes the name callers feel either superior or ok with whatever is is that bothers them about themselves.
Like it or not there are homosexuals who are just homosexual (it’s only about same sex sex for them) and not a gay thing. Homosexual is the sexual orientation, while gay is only a culture of people who just happen to be homosexuals too. If anyone has a phobia it’s gays who are uncomfortable with and can’t accept the fact that not every homosexual wants to be like them or a member of their gay culture and there is nothing wrong with that.
Just because a person happens to be homosexual does not obligate them to be anything else or live in some way they do not care to for or made to feel they should only because other homosexuals are doing it. If gays truly desire to be accepted by society then they have a long way to go in learning how to accept others who are different than they are too. I can’t say I blame anyone who chooses to not be a hypocrite, which the gay community is highly infected with.
It incredible how many guys, younger and older, at the gym are so homophobic.
If a gay guy sits in the steam or sauna room, or whirlpool, they are so afraid of catching “gay.” They, younger and older, do not treat the gays with the same respect as as other males. The younger kids make fun of the gay guys and the older ones are pissed off when a gay guy comes into the sauna or steam wearing only a towel. Or, if a gay guy goes in the men’s whirlpool nude.
Years ago, men freely walked around in a locker room nude and the same with public gym showers. No more, everyone is very homophobic.
BTW, I live in south Florida, so perhaps because of the greater gay population, there is more homophobia, IDK.
Zane
Homosexuality is not a Choice
Homophobia is a choice.
You know what is sad, too? I have a family member whom I grew up with and knew I was gay as a little boy. When this family member wants to hurt me, she tells me to MAN UP. Knowing I was born transgender and am really a female. Family members can also bring intentional hurt with their homophobia and it’s truly sad. We have to rise above their ignorance, no matter how much it hurts our feelings.
Do you activists consider peaceful non-acceptance as homophobia or some other form of injustice?
Just as you have every right to choose your lifestyle dont people have a similar right to choose a lifestyle and or opinion that doesnt agree with or promote a gay lifestyle?
Stop worrying so hard about whos accepting you or what this one or that one said. Go live life.
I am a married bi bottom. I have never had the homophobia directed at me because I am as they say on the dl. However I knew guys that would threaten and make fun of other guys who were out and displayed their affection toward the gay man or men they were with. What shocked me is the night I was in a local dallas gay bar and saw 2 of the most hateful mean men that I knew walk in and begin to party and have fun as if they had a switch on their back. When I saw them a few days later I politely walked up and whispered how about the crowd at the door huh. They both turned white and couldn’t and didn’t say nothing.
I talk to the people I work with about struggles and how everybody deserves respect no matter who they are.
I personally find that the group doing the most damage to the gay community is the gay community itself. Just ask gay men about the abuse they’ve encountered on gay social apps and website by other gay men. Before we deal with homophobia outside of our community, I really think the gay community should do some serious soul searching.
I’m sorry, we can’t accept each other in our own community, how the hell are others going to? The only way we can get acceptance is be finding harmony within. Yes religion plays a role, but honestly most denominations are catching up, and we have a kick ass pope. We have to stop blaming the church, and admit that it’s us, not them.
In my previous comment I was talking mainly about baptists. I was raised in the baptist church. They are without any doubt the most homophobic. How many gay men do I know that attend baptist churches. Too many to count. I wont go. I’m not going to subject myself to their meaness, nastiness and unforgiveness. They’re not worth my time. Can you believe that in the 70s there was a gay church here. In this city of 46,000 people. In the south. I attended but what happened? Word got out around town and they closed the doors. They were afraid it was going to be burned down.
@crankyd
There are those who use this website to make friends, just as there are many others who play hide-the-sausage politics. It’s not my place to judge, condemn, or belittle their values. I’m not speaking of to each his own; look around you, on A4A the advertisements for videos:
stepfather [priest] teaches son, thugs in training, or Str8 to gay — you don’t really believe that crap is being peddled here for actual straight guys? VILE? Perhaps, read some profiles, there is definitely a market for it.
Many gay men stay closeted because they were TAUGHT to deny the normalcy of their own core beings. Homophobia is not natural, it is a learned behavior, and many out gays subconsciously hurt themselves by internalizing values ascribed by others — I’m not speaking of fear, promiscuity, shame, or self-hatred, I am also addressing the rampant substance, personal, and domestic abuse which occurs daily based upon this poorly defined concept. See, nobody told me it was okay to to use drugs, express unpopular beliefs, or to love my gay self — I had to learn to be okay with it in a world that tried to teach me to deny my true self.
So yeah, I respect others rights, to believe as they choose, or act as they wish, including men who say things like:
“He’s a vile, predatory fag that doesn’t respect others’ identities and possibly hates out gay men himself. Disgusting.”
I personally don’t like the internalized homophobia that allows gay men to refer to other gay men as “FAGS,” (or as disgusting, though I’ve heard it used in other communities) but hey, it’s no more wrong then those gay men who fantasize one-true masculinity in this community. That’s what the word COMMUNITY means; “a group of people living in the same place or having a particular characteristic in common.” That said, we ALL have a right to respect, and our own opinions. Therefore, I find your opinions are no more vile, or better as the case may be, than “theirs” are. Be well 😉
@EJ- you might want to do some more research on the current pope before praising him with adjectives like “kickass”, at least as far as his statements on marriage between same-gender couples are concerned. Francis said “who am I to judge?” to the media one time; MULTIPLE times, he has vocally decried marriages between same-gender couples as disordered, as against the ways of nature/God, etc. He has vocally opposed marriage equality initiatives coming forth in countries with largely Catholic populations MANY times, and the media HAS been there to quote him all those times. There’s also his involvement in a “families” conference wherein the other participants were some of the most strident figureheads of the anti-LGBT movement. I encourage you to look it up, it’s all out there what I’ve referred to in this comment- Pope Francis is NO friend or ally to the LGBT community.