Speak Out : Exploring My Bisexuality
I have read some of the comments on A4A concerning str8 and bisexual activity among males. I still believe the vast majority of Str8 guys would engage in sexual activity with other males if the right opportunity presented itself. I am clearly a defined bisexual male. From the time I had wet dreams as a teenager until now, I knew that I could be aroused sexually by males and females. I have always been mesmerized by beautiful bodies—male or female!
My Str8 orientation led me to marry a beautiful 20-year-old female when I was approaching my 26th birthday. We had two children, a son and a daughter, who are now grown. I cannot remember a time when I was not attracted to my wife, and we had a very active sex life until she was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s at an early age. That diagnosis was several years ago and I have turned to male sexual activities to satisfy my needs in the absence of my wife.
I could not bare the thought of being unfaithful to my wife with another woman. Why? Because I love my wife dearly and other females could be very clingy and demanding of my time! On the other hand, my passionate male playmates understand, provide the affection that I need, and generate climaxes that are over the top!
When I have read comments especially from gays, there is a sense of separation between str8s and gays that is not comprehended. As a bisexual, I feel that I can bridge the gap—understanding the orientation issues and making allowances for the desires of others. Bisexuality for me provides a feeling of well-being as a str8 guy who gets great pleasure with males who are usually of similar orientation—bisexual. However, that does not suggest gay males cannot be affectionate, understanding, and great lovers. However, as bisexual males we are not usually nest-building or looking for a full-time partner. I, and others like me, look forward to special events with each other from time to time—or more frequently.
Thoughts?
DAVID M in Texas
Wow. You might as well have written this about me. With the exception of my wife failing health wise, this is my life. I fell exactly the same way about it as you do. I do feel like some single gay males find my lifestyle morally bankrupt, and have no problem being judgmental toward me about it. I wish they could understand that it is…just as it is for them…just who we are.
Ditto for me. My wife had breast cancer 7 years ago and I had experimented with a buddy and found the sex to be great. I had no idea of expanding my play beyond my buddy but when he moved I could either find a g:f, which proved to be full of problems, or play with guys. I chose that route and other than a few judge mental guys, it has been fun and satisfying
It is my life, man!!
Except I m married and curious, no balls to cheat on her….
Don’t want to ruin what I have but I crave for man, sexually….
Try to chat and live my bi life on here till I get the courage and opportunity:-)
I m cur-bttm on here, if any one like to be chat buddies(haha)
Damn, this hits so close to home. I too am very happily married to my wife of 23 years, but there is no sexual spark left between us anymore. It hasn’t been there for quite some time now. I too have turn to m2m sex as I cannot imagine being with another woman. I too feel the sting of some gay guys comments when they find out I am married. Even had one threaten to try to find out where I live and come to my house and out me. I am very leery of meeting guys after that. Why the judgmental attitude? Aren’t there some kind of guy codes in the gay/bi world that we all stick up for each other?
Right on the mark. You nailed my feelings as well
Excellent post, I don’t think many men can comprehend this though. The only ones I mess with are fems and it’s not much of a stretch for them. Fems mainly feel like woman trapped in a man’s body and can except being with bisexual, they just want to be sort the side piece if the relationship gets that far. Most won’t go for you playing around with another or any other gay man period. It’s a respect thing with them, meaning even if they know you got a woman… they don’t want to discuss that part of your life when you with them unless it’s a threesome which rare. I’m no way speaking for all just my past experiences.
yeah….I’m sorry but the “it’s not cheating if it’s with the opposite/same sex than your partner” is bullsh*t. Cheating is cheating no matter who with or the reason behind it.
You see, I think it’s ok to be sexually active, but being MARRIED means there’s commitment involved, and you’re basically saying that being sexually open to everyone helps test our likes and preferences.
No offense but it’s exactly that what gives homosexual and bi people a bad name, the need of exploiting our sexual desires over our emotional feelings for others out of habit of being “hidden” from society.
It really saddens me that lust has become such a vital part in relationships, specially among homosexual and bi ‘couples’. And then we have the audacity to demand gay marriage! If you can’t be faithful fine, but don’t drag others with you.
Remember there’s still a minority of MEN that do want a stable monogamous relationship, but apparently that’s sacrilege in the gay community.
So true, my wife and I have a great sex life but once in a while I do feel the urge to be with another guy, other gays even some bisexual guys don’t agree with this (being married)I’m happy to see I have someone/s who share this with me, would live find a friendship with other guy who is in our situation.
I agree! I love my wife dearly but she lost all interest in sex after her hysterectomy which left me out in left field, I don’t want another woman I want her. I began with porn and the guys just started getting me going so I tried it out.
Exactly why I avoid bisexual men.
Well-written David M.
I too find myself attracted to beautiful women. I hate when a guy says he’s gonna f*ck my c*nt. It’s my butt!! Women have those things!!…lol But I love when a guy does that.
I think I’ve turned to guys for at least similar reasons and i know that guys can be just as moody and “snarky” as women as well.
This hit right to the point my wife has respiratory problems and to have sex cause major trouble for her so we agreed not to have sex but to satisfy the body’s needs I to have turned to men.
You do what ever it takes in life to full fill what you have lost with out hurting other in your path.
The biggest thing that people forget is that you body has needs and it does not know the difference between a virgin a hand a mouth a asshole all it knows is that it needs to be satisfied and when it is done it is happy so what I am saying is it is a matter of choices you just decide what it is going to be that you can live with in your heart.
Jay
absolutely spot on. i hate the condescension that has so often been thrown in my face by gay men who demand that anyone who ever has any attraction to a guy at any level is gay. it is ludicrous and completely dismissive of any sexual attraction toward the opposite sex. i mean, following their reasoning, any attraction to a woman at all would then make one straight. so, it must be 100% or 0% either way? That is a completely anemic and ill-informed view of sexuality. I am thankful for your comments and for others who are bringing this conversation again to the forefront.
I like nsa sex, bi or married males provide that for me. I like the variety of sex, different sizes, different degrees of tightness, the actual act wether hard and rough or gentle like love making. Not looking for a long life partner. Every encounter is different…. even sometimes with the same guy, everyone sucks dick differently, kisses differently, fucks differently. Was married for 7 yrs, but played with guys on the side. Love the male body, but no stranger around a set of tits or pussy. Although I do find it easier to hook up with a guy…. when you ask a guy want some head? very few turn it down..lol
I’m also Bi, and in somewhat of a similar situation except for the health issues related to my wife. Our relationship has been slowly unraveling for years. The intimacy is almost gone. We have sex maybe once, twice every 5-6 months. We’ve been together for 16 yrs, and when are relationship was new, the intimacy was outstanding. Over the years, with work and school, she just doesn’t feel it. Yes, I have had my encounters with men, some very hot passionate ones. Although, I’m not looking to get married or settle down, it is my belief that those reasons are why most gay men look at bisexuals different. We’re not there to settle down or be serious, it’s really about having our cake and ice cream and eating it too!
I understand both perspectives, and I also try to be more open and realistic and upfront to the men I meet so that they know what’s going on.
In reality, those of us that are bisexual and involved in a relationship and, excuse the pun, decide to dabble, well, we are morally wrong!
I apologize for any grammar issues, I’m on my phone posting.
I have to agree 100%. I have been married for over 20 ys. We have been swingers for 15ish. I love having sex with women… My wife is Bi, but doesn’t like the thought of men being bi. She is entitled to her opinion which I respect. we have had 3 sums both mfm and mff. I have found privately that I love men sucking me off. Especially at glory- holes, Amazing…. There are a lot of men that enjoy this with no recip. I have had Bi encounters where I sucked and top/bottomed. My biggest turn on is cross dressers or TG’s so I consider my Bi and not 100 gay. Which can be easily explained on my type that turns me on.
I couldn’t agree more.
As a bi-married man I am very attracted to my wife and beautiful women alike, but as far as men goes there seems to be another level of attraction. For me, when I see another sexy woman I don’t think of her sexually. But I do for my wife. Now a man on the other hand I find very sexy and comforting. My wife is very good in bed but what I have always said was a man knows how to please a man because we know what we like. You always hear the stories of how this man don’t know how to eat pussy good and don’t do this right but I bet you put a hot cock in his mouth he will give the best blow job. Ultimately we all want to BE pleased. No matter what you say about I don’t care what happens to me as long as I please my sex partner (man/woman). This is a lie, I love to eat ass and pussy and to me it is very satisfying and I can normally cum quick after both because sexually this pleases me and as a bonus pleases my partner.
Now I would never cheat on my wife with another woman but a man comes along with is cock out….I’m all over it
I enjoyed reading your story. Your situation. I’m total opposite. I’m gay and never have been with a woman and never will be. I’m 51 now and have always felt it easier to be feminine than masculine. Being labeled effeminate is not always good in the gay community, either, as most want MANLY men and I’m not that. I make a great lover and as you are not looking to nest, neither am I. I have a great life and find relationships are way overrated. I love my single life and play very rarely as hookups are hard to come by even on sex sites like this. Plus, I’m picky and try not to just meet up with strangers who may slit my throat. Just thought an opposite take may be appreciated.
Thoughts ? I respect your opinion and where you come from, but I do have a bit of a problem saying you wouldn’t cheat on your wife with another woman.
What I would like to know is your wife’s stance on this. This bit of information was missing from your post, and personally to have any thoughts or opinions regarding your situation, that bit of information is relevant for me.
Unless your wife is well aware that you get sexually involved with other males and is okay with, in my opinion, it really doesn’t make a difference….you are still having sex with someone else other than your partner. Doesn’t matter if it’s male and not female, it’s still the same.
As I said, if you’re doing this with your wife’s approval and consent then I have no problem with it, and personally, you might as well have sex with another woman because from my point of view it really doesn’t make a difference. If your wife told you she wouldn’t be okay with you having sex with another female but would be ok if it was a male then I have no problem with it either.
If, however, you are doing this behind your wife’s back then personally speaking you can tell yourself all you want that you wouldn’t bear the thought of being unfaithful because in my opinion you are being unfaithful (again, if your wife doesn’t know about this). Doesn’t matter if it’s a male or female, the point still stands, so you can tell yourself whatever you wish in the name of satisfying your needs, but how would your wife if she found out ? If you couldn’t tell her then I am sorry, but in my opinion, you are being unfaithful.
Once again, I am sorry your wife was diagnosed with Alzheimers and I wish you both the best !
The article is not really clear what your talking about your bisexuality. Have a wife your no longer sexual with so you will settle to sucking dick? Because having sexual relationships with another woman would be cheating? But having sex with male is okay because they are not clingy?
Sounds like you settle for having sex with guys rather than treating them like equals.
bull shit to play. never could understand it being bi but that how it goes but I love men only
1dlbiguy…..Exactly the same for me. I would never cheat on wife with another a woman but I love having sex with anther discreet man whenever possible and actually enjoy that sex the most. Yes I like you am judged by gay males all the time… It is a double standard they expect me to accept them the way they are but refuse to try understand my situation. I have found single gay men to be much more judgmental toward me than my straight friends that know I am bisexual.
I am a bisexual male since the age of 14. I have been married twice with my first wife I hid my urges to be with other guys on occasion. With my 2nd wife within the first week of our relationship I told her I was bisexual that I was faithful to the women I was with but if we continued the relationship that I would appreciate permission to be with guys. She granted that permission over 12 years ago and we are happily married with a great sex life(just for the record I granted her permission to see females on the side which she has). I have found that many straight and gay oriented individuals are rather judgemental about bisexuals they can’t understand how I can enjoy penis and vagina. My heart belongs to my wife however I have had numerous intimate experiences with men one of which I have seen for 10 years on and off. I believe that most people male and female would find that bisexual behavior can be very erotic if they could get by the numerous ways that they have been taught about how taboo it is.
So you’re basically saying that bisexual men want to date and marry women but if they can’t get sex from her for one reason or another then we as gay men should feel excited and willing to get physical. It’s cheating if it’s another girl because girls are clingy and emotional but it’s not cheating if it’s a guy because…we just want to fuck?
Being bisexual gives you a unique perspective but the way you described it is a little insulting. I’m gay. I’ve been with men and women but in the end I’m really only attracted to men. That doesn’t exclude me from understanding the sexuality of the different genders, though. The way bisexual men often describe their sexuality is less like a bridge and more like a brothel. F all in love and marry a girl, but use men as playthings for great organs on the side. I’m not surprised gay men and bisexual men clash a lot.
Oh my god, lol. My stupid phone. Great orgasms, not organs. Or…maybe that works too haha.
Thanks for your story David..
Having grown up in the California Bay area, I have seen an interesting change in the labels people use to identify their sexual self. After the advent of HIV and AIDS in the 1980’s, the gay community was branded with a label of illness that the later generations are trying to distance themselves from. It seems that the stereotype of the word “gay”includes this “brand” of a very particular kind of man..haircut, affect, clothing, ect. I have found lots of gay men that are not comfortable with this image. They are now using the term “bi” to include an image of “manly” or “masculine”, when in fact they are exclusively sexual with men, or in the closet. This is true especially in non-western countries, where the word “gay”(for men) means that you have the GENDER roles of a woman in that particular culture. Thus, by using the word “bi”to describe a man that is more masculine by popular cultures stereotypes, they are distancing themselves from an old stereotype, but with the added danger of having to front/cover with a woman. I know several “bi” men who were only using that label as a way of testing the waters in terms of acceptance. Acceptance of themselves, and by others. Their straight peers & family were the worst instigators of “Aww..c’mon! She’s really hot, and she likes you!..thought you said you were bi!”
Homophobia is an ugly and dangerous truth in many parts of the world including the US, and hiding is the only way to survive. It takes courage, support, (and sometimes a lifetime) to accept oneself.
I applaud ones sexual awakening, but hope that the word “gay” comes to mean many things to many people, including strong, courageous, and triumphant, and not weak,tacky or lame, as it used now..pejoritavely by popular culture.
wonderful write up and its all true esp us males who are married but have m2m inclination.
gay dudes being judgmental?! Say it ain’t so!
As a married bi Mexican/American of 18 years I to relate to the stores of the two men. I, like them love my wife have sex with her weekly. My wife gives me something a man can not and a man gives me something my wife can not. I feel it has to do with femininity my wife offers and the masculine (bromance) I get with a guy.
Either way gay men should not critical of bi men. Why here in America we have to find a label or have a spot for everyone?… There should be no one trying to label or fit individuals sexuality into gay, str, bi and so on. Lets focus on ourselves and why makes us happy inside not worrying about what others define themselves as.
What I’m facing as a fifty-something in a hetero ltr is the death of my sex life. I like pussy, but it won’t ever be seeking me out, nor do I want that means-to-an-end drama of a mistress wanting to be Queen Bee.
I did some experimenting in high school and want to try again with a sane, safe, level-headed fuck buddy that sees the sexual act as just that: pleasure and release but nothing more. But in this rural Red state, it’s looking well-nigh impossible to find the right guy. I probably will keep looking as long as my cock still functions.
Here is my shallow take on the matter and how it affects me. First of all, we are in no positon to judge anyone. that being said being a bottom, it has been my experienc that a bisexual male tends to be a bottom also and therefore not really in my scope of reality. Does anyone have any feelings on that??
As a gay man who has only slept with his buddies who identify themselves as straight, I love the bi community. I’ve never even seen “gay” dick irl. I think straights are freakier and more aggressive. If not for your “kind” I would have been left with the drama queens lol Thank you for your service gentlemen.
I understand the feelings of these men….why can’t n more accept the bisexeual feelings I too enjoy the company of both men and women.
as a bi-sexual man I can honestly relate to this blog I love women and men as well but I have being label and insulted here on adam by gay males lot of times before. I am a bi-sexual man and can’t fix it.
I am in complete agreement with 1dlbiguy. Growing up I never thought I was into guys, but I was always curious as to how it would be if I was with a guy. It wasn’t until one night at a party when I was in my late teens that I took a chance and took advantage of a situation that presented itself. I have since talked to all my friends that I know are bi and also married like me and they all have the same story as mine.
Awesome article!! I love my ability to be bisexual!! I’m just upset that I didn’t discover this until 6 years ago at the age of 36! Most of the guys I play with are either married and are sexually unhappy or they are bisexual as well. I’m more attracted to this type (masculine) anyways so it works out for me! Being bisexual is the best of both worlds to me. I often get attacked by gay guys but who are they to judge? I don’t know if it’s jealousy or what? A few of them even had the audacity to call me a “lesbian”! WTF? I don’t play games nor mislead them in anyway. If they have a problem with me sleeping with women, there is no obligations here so he has the right to find someone else. I don’t live a “gay” lifestyle at all, but I do enjoy having sex with men (and women)! Does that make sense?
Being bi-sexual has to be the best blessing in the world.
(And I’m not , by the way)
No such thing as a bad night out or blind date !
Otherwise , I thought that was a well written piece.
I haven’t had a relationship with a bisexual man butI did have a relationship with a straight man. We ended up having a relationship because we were attracted mentally and eventually sexually to each other.
It lasted two years. That was over ten years ago and we are still friends and have written or telephone contact on our birthday’s.
As a gay man, liked being with him because he wasn’t ashamed of me or of himself. I knew some of his friends and he knew some of mine and they all knew about us as we talked openly about our affair. I asked him several times if he was bi and held always said no, and that I am the only man that he’s ever been attracted to.
He asked me a few times to have sex with him and some girl he knew, (mostly when he had taken a few more lines of coke that he ought go have) but I always said no because the idea of having a girl in the apartment would change my train of thought from sex to any other subject besides sex. I would say that he wanted a bisexual moment but I wasn’t interested in participating.
One other thing that made me feel special to him is that no matter who was present if I saw him or he saw me we would always give each other a big hug and he would either introduce me or send me away with a promise to call later or I would respond likewise, introduce him or send him on his way.
Does bisexuality normally mean that the gay man is treated respectfully by the bisexual man or is it normally a situation that is kept between the two of them?
As a gay, gay male I turn bisexual guys away because I feel like they usually fuck gays and afterwards talk badly about them in the, locker room. How open are these bi guys and do the prefer to just be with other bi guys and just have closeted bisexual relationships or encounters?
Get ready for the flood of “bisexuality doesn’t exist!” and “if you suck dick you’re gay!” comments..
Bingo, the last 2 comments were pretty much my story. Bisexual is legit!
I’m a bisexual male, in a relationship with a guy. I’m unsettled by this article. While I have no problem with Polyamory, this should be done with the consent or at least awareness of the other parties, I think ‘cheating’ is contemptible.
It may not be possible for this writer, to get consent from his wife due to her medical issues, therefore the area of this being ‘cheating’ is somewhat a gray area.
But the desire for multiple partners at a single time, has nothing to do with bisexuality, that’s an entirely different thing.
The idea, the image, that gays, and especially bisexual males, being promiscuous is a tired cliche I hate to see reinforced like this.
I most certainly AM into nest-building AND looking for a full-time partner.
I would advise the writer to do as he will and as his own conscience directs him, but don’t excuse his actions by attributing them to the majority of male bisexuals as a whole.
Very good post and in agreement with many of the men that are also married as I am and enjoy the company of other men. The sex with my wife was always super hot, but as the years passed her drive slowed down and she was also plagued with emotional/psychological issues that left me feeling neglected sexually. I found a wonderful outlet with other men. My wife knows but doesn’t approve. A few gays Ive come across have been judgmental in the sense that they feel bisexuality doesnt really exist and that we are repressing our homosexual identity or are somehow transitioning to being fully gay. At this point in my life Ive had many more male lovers than female but like many of the other guys here, Im wired to get aroused by a beautiful female body as well.
Let me put a spin on this, I am a gay male and I only play with Bi Married guys I no longer have sex with gay men. I was in two long term relationships with two different gay males the first one was great the second was a nightmare. You have two male egos, some gay man can be very bitchy and demanding. Then I met a married guy and we began to play, and slowly he opened up to me that although he dearly loves his wife, he was wondering would he be better off exploring his sexuality with gay men the sex between us was great, and we became very close friends. We saw each other for over 5 years he finally did tell me that he felt like I saved his marriage he no longer fantasized about being with a man when he was intimate with his wife, because I fulfilled that part of his life. Unfortunately, he was transferred for his job and moved we still keep in touch. After that experience I have limited myself to married men, there are no demands, no bitchiness, we both get what we want and both go about our lives. The only thing that is odd to me is that about 98% of married men do not like to kiss another man, but the 2% that do more than make up for it
If we are just talking attraction, you would have to feel almost everyone is bisexual. Acting on those feelings are another thing. I’m a divorced white male in my late 40s. Never had a sexual experience with a man until my divorce a few years ago. I’m completely bisexual. Have a girlfriend who is also bisexual. I also don’t understand why gay men can’t accept me as being bi. As a result I only platy with other bi guys. Don’t like any unneeded drama.
this why dont sleep guys who are bi if your doing at that yu risking get a major sti and or stud that women are nasty
As a young gay man and counseling student back in the early 80’s I would said a bisexual man was a gay man afraid to come out. now 30 years later I am pretty sure that bisexual is as a legitimate sexual orientation as gay or straight. I have many friends who like both flavors of reproductive parts– it is about being in touch with who you are and your comfort. One of my favorite playmates lost his wife and on her deathbed he told her there would never be another women with him- so after being straight 60 years he became bisexual. To my knowledge he has never had sex with another women and he embraced cock with more gusto than most gay men- but he still hoots and hollers at a hot women on tv or book or at dinner…
I have dated married men (and please about now)when i was younger there is no future in married bi sexual men…and yes its cheating no matter how you look at it.
Most stay married for cover up in society for fear of being talked about among their so called straight friends..
I guess have your cake and eat it too! Not here anymore.
Not pleased about it
I have dated married men (and not please about now)when i was younger there is no future in married bi sexual men…and yes its cheating no matter how you look at it.
Most stay married for cover up in society for fear of being talked about among their so called straight friends..
I guess have your cake and eat it too! Not here anymore.
i want to chime in, in defense of certain gay males, to clarify that the things they’re probably being “judgmental” about, are:
a.) cheating (as in, “not informing your partner you’re boning others {and not letting /or allowing/ said Partner to have their own opportunity to play with others}”)
b.) still claiming to be “straight” in spite of also fucking around with other guys (even if you play the “i’m 100% top” card with those fellas).
(because, i’m pretty sure, if a Hetero looks hard enough, he surely can find a trashy female to do just abour all the things you can do with a trashy male.
what women cannot provide, of course, is the opportunity to interact with another man’s dick.
nor The Essence & Spirit of Man.
nor, give “that specific rush” of experiencing from/giving to a Man sexual pleasure.
in other words, a truly straight guy should have no reason, at all, to deviate from his womenfolk.
just like i haven’t {yet} at all deviated from my menfolk — even if i’m being “100% top” with a woman {meaning, i only stick my dick in her pussy /or ass/ — no eating the snatch —— basically, using her as a “hole” to get my rocks off in}, at the end of the day, i’m still sexually interacting with a woman.
i’m supposed to be gay, right?)
=========
speaking in general, it can be annoying to be with someone who is Confused and Secretive/not-Communicative.
that’s the other problem that we gay men can have, with those who claim bi-sexuality.
if you’re a bi-sexual who handles your affairs like the way you should, then you should have no problems at all.
just find another bi-sexual and live your lives as merrily as you can.
=========
i will not give Leniency to guys who cheat or otherwise act hypocritically.
i don’t like entertaining closet cases either.
you are the guys who be on adult dating sites with no pictures, hitting me up, talking about “i need anonymity,” knowing full well that if i had no pictures of my own (which do show off a fair bit of my Person), you’d just pass my AD on by.
Great discussion guys! Anyhow, someone please help with this issue. I’m 23, and currently dating this girl for 3 months now. I have a friend who’s bi 37ish, married to a woman, with kids. He came out to his girlfriend at 23, my about his bi side and that he craves cock/men. I’m kinda in that same situation. So my question to you is, would this be a good idea to tell my girlfriend that I am bi? Thank you. Profile name is Shine23 if you like to discuss. Thanks fellows.
Love,
Mason
Please…
Stop referring to people as “males” and “females;” the proper term is “men” and women.”
This isn’t a story about animals on The Discovery Channel, nor some scientific study where clinical terminology is appropriate.
oh, and btw… from the tone of this story, it sounds more like men are regarded as a second choice over women, or only good for sexual release.
This clearly illustrates why so many gay men avoid men that call themselves bisexuals, when in reality they are merely overly-horny that are “settling.” There are true bisexuals out there, but i feel like most men are just full of shit.
Thanks for the reminder.
I care less about the infidelity of some of the posters here than I do about how they want to torture the definition of “infidelity” so that it’s not “infidelity” when they do it.
So…bi guys want to date and marry women, but they either just want to fuck guys because it’s good sex or have the marriage and fuck guys because it’s not cheating.
Do you even hear yourselves? You’re basically saying that what’s real to bi guys is the romance and relationship with a woman, and sex with other guys should barely even be considered valid…in fact, it’s so invalid that it’s not even cheating! That sounds like when plantation owners would fuck their slaves and no one cared because slaves weren’t even considered people to them. Gross.
Ultimately I believe bisexuality exists but gay guys aren’t being difficult or mean when we distance ourselves from our bisexual counterparts. Why would I put myself and my emotions, or even my body, in a situation where I’m basically nothing more than a living pocket pussy? Get over yourselves!
This hits fairly close to home as I am a bisexual male who is also married and plays on the side with other men without my wife’s knowledge. Sex was good for us at one time, but due to her declining health, it’s a rare if ever thing now.
My experience has been that I originally sought out sex with other men because that brought something that sex with women did not. I’ve found m2m sex to be more direct, simple, and visceral than sex with women, although I’m not going to overgeneralize and say that is always the case. Additionally, I found that when I hooked up with another man (or, even better, found a regular fbud), I got to be the center of sexual attention and there was more give-and-take sexually. With my wife, while the sex was good, I was the “servicer” and got little attention to my body except for intercourse.
To those who judge this behavior, I just advise tending to one’s own garden in this area and letting others tend to their own. In short, you don’t know my situation, and you don’t understand the dynamics of it. But you don’t have to know it, and I don’t need your approval or chastisement. I’m upfront with any potential hook-up and tell him I’m married and must be discreet. If he is bothered by that, fine. We don’t have to play.
In short, part of the attraction to m2m sex is the fact that most men I’ve come across understand the physical aspect of sexual need better than most women. They get the need to be sexual with another person and that it’s not the same as masturbation. They usually don’t complicate sex with additional baggage like many (not all) women do. THAT’S why it’s easier to hook-up with a man and why it feels less like so-called “cheating” than it would with a woman.
Finally, if we’d all worry more about–and work more to cure–society’s ills (poverty, ignorance, slavery, human trafficking, etc.) than about an individual’s perceived moral lapses in personal behavior (cheating! too many sex partners! gossiping! overeating!) then maybe we could accomplish something worthwhile.
i have always known i was sexually attracted to men. I have been married for 45 years and am still in love with my wife. I just prefer having sex with men, always have. Seems strange but it works for
me
Hey guys I’m in singular situation I’m 20 curious recently meet another guy that expressed interest in the same thing as me oral, j/o he used to be a model now he’s in the military he’s also never been with guys. The thing is we started talking and he was telling me how him and his wife are having problems so there separated and that he had two kids and mist if the time he’s with his kids. We’re suppose to be meeting on the 16, but I feel like I shouldn’t. Knowing his situation I feel guilty. I know were not in a relationship and it’s just j/o oral and making out but but the thought of being with a married guy with kids just makes me feel bad, but he’s a really cool guy masc hot, straight. I need some input should I do it?
You can email [email protected] [email protected]
Just1Thing just nailed the issue on the head. Commitment is commitment, betrayal is betrayal, and you are who you are — so be honest with yourself — be it in your commitments, your betrayals, or yourself.
And being bi does not give ANYONE permission to cheat on their partner so they can ‘have the best of both worlds’.
It isn’t a relationship if you’re deceiving your partner. Be open, be honest, be faithful, and maybe you can build a relationship that permits such things as partners on the side or inviting someone into the bedroom for both of you. But don’t delude yourselves that deceit is acceptable. That’s how you end up on Maury or Springer.
Honestly, I don’t think gay guys get bi guys. I’ve hooked up with a few gay guys and 9 times out of 10 the conversation leads to you don’t know what you want… your gay not bi… you’re just hiding what you really want… and on and on. I had this one guy I hooked up with literally stalk me on social media and kept threatening to “out me”. I like sex – with guys and girls. I would have a relationship with either but I like both and have had lots of fun with both… sometimes at the same time. 🙂
First of all even if a male is somehow sexually confused, and decides to have sex both with a man and a woman then he is gay anyways no denying it at all what so ever, because he still has a gay sexual side to him no matter how attractive the female is, he still thinks about doing it with another male, because their is nothing at all what so ever straight about a male playing with another man’s weiner and balls in a sexual way, no matter how the world or society might view it today, its a plain and simple answer period your either gay or straight their usually is no in between at all, and no matter how time might change or how sexually confused a male might be or could be their is no curious side either its a simple your gay or straight answer, why does society try and always make this such a big deal or always defend those who try and hide them selves from it, I am gay I am out about it and I hate gay life it sucks and I wish that I was never ever born because of it, I would rather be straight any day if I had the power to change it all but I don’t so now I got to live with it the rest should go for anyone else who tries and question their sexuality anymore.
I can relate to this. Now single but a father and so far no male relationship. Sad to think having children has kept me from love. Maybe that will change someday. Shall see I guess.
You sound like an asshole. Later you’ll hate yourself, so whatever.
Cheating is cheating and you are gay once you play with same sex.. Funny how people try to rationalize their behavior..denial gets you nowhere and it’s sad you have to play on your wife’s illness to justify you playing with men..Recently I encounterd a guy who wanted to play because his wife was terminally ill. When I found this out it was a total turn off.. stay home with her and whack off you morons.. putting your sex before her needs is what this amounts to pathetic post pathetic people… get real
The truth that a bisexual husband would prefer men as playmates to me is a sign of both loyalty and fidelity. Although not considered conventional marital fidelity it goes to show that both bi men and women could have fulfillment.
I’m 26 have had gf’s all my life and loved them mentally and physically. But my secret was always I had no problem messing around with a guy when it came to sex if I was lacking it in a relationship. Cheating yes I guess so but something about it not being a women that made me feel less guilty.
I’ve done this with gf’s since 16. On and off with men, anything with dick and a hot body turns me on. But kissing or nipples or being touchy is just a big turn off. So explain that. Curious? Bi? I’m not sure what I am except I appreciate a hot body. Male or female
So…the truth is that only you can define who you are. Speaking for myself and not all gays, the problem with bi is that you’re usually only bi when you have a dick in your ass. Everyone on here is talking about intimacy or lack thereof being the driving factor.
I have unfortunately been with married guys before, and rarely do they stick around and cuddle, kiss, talk, cook dinner. They generally email or text when they can get away, run in get what they came for and run for the door before the cum starts to dry. Where is the intimacy in that?
If it’s not cheating since it’s sex with a “buddy” why don’t you tell your wives? That might make it easier for you to take your time and get the intimacy that you crave. Our closed-minded, judgemental, critical assessment of you is because regardless of how you try to justify it, you are getting everything you want while your wife is being cheated on and your boyfriend is being used.
I’d suggest that bi only play with bi but that would never happen because you’d spend your five minutes of stolen time fighting for the bottom position. I also find it odd, that most only “discover” they are bi once they are middle aged. If you were able to not be sexually active with men in the beginning of your marriage, you might want to try not being sexually active with men for the remainder of your marriage. If you can’t be honest with yourself, at least TRY being honest with your wife. If you love her, she might deserve honesty and respect.
Ah the usual slam against bisexuals…cowardly, etc. Listen, not all of us can come out of our closet. It is either too dangerous to our professional world, or our family relationships, or family employment. I consider myself bisexual only because I can still get aroused by women. However: I “feel” more gay than hetero because of my incessant and overwhelming need to be with men. If I were able to, I would blow this closet to smithereens and come right out full on gay. I cannot so I sigh a lot and sit in the closet with my bisexual suit on.
Bisexuality is just a layover to gay town.
The author noted that he could not bare being “unfaithful” to his wife with a women because they are “clingy” and “demanding of my time”. I’m sorry but if you’re married and you have sex with anyone besides your spouse, you are cheating! And men can be just as clingy and demanding as women.
There’s no need to be sexist and generalizing women just to excuse your desires to have sex with a man.
I believe you are gay. Many men marry and have kids only to later accept their homosexuality. Perhaps you do love your wife, perhaps to you don’t want to hurt her by leaving her or you’d feel guilty doing so. From what you’ve share it seem as if your only sexual encounters are with me. You’re gay.
cheating is CHEATING…you just want your cake and eat it as well with ice cream…no pun intended.
I think its stupid you “Bi” man talk about being bisexual but when it comes to the transgender community you all arent attracted to it and still call yourselfs bi. Why dont you ever post something about us transgenders as well?
IM THE ONE MARRIED MEN SEEK!!!
I just can’t understand how a married man says “i can with another man, but not another women, it’s not cheating”
Ummm, THE FCUK IT IS CHEATING! And if u don’t think so, then let’s ask your wife what she thinks about. BUT NO JUDGEMENT ON MY PART.
Now, that being said, I LOVE TO HAVE SEX WITH A MARRIED MAN!
There’s something about keeping that secret between us, allowing him to explore my body, his sexuality freely and try things he’s been dying to try sexually with another person that is NOT his boring, sexually dead, prude unskilled wife. I DONT UNDERSTAND! WHY GET MARRIED when u can have all the free sex in the world at the snap of ur fingers!!
I have been with 2 married men that got caught, and I got that dreaded phone call from the wives. I just say, flat out, “ur man, is bisexual, and he has sexual cravings to satisfy. It’s NOT that he doesn’t love, he justsaying needs sex. Now, if u dump him, I’m more than willing to take him right off ur hands”
I love to satisfy a married man orally , bc I’m always told by them, (or first timers) that my blowjobs, are the BEST head they’ve ever received. One goes, “I can believe it’s taken me to be 45yrs old and never received a real bj till u just gave me one.. WOW!”
I love to give them, and show them EXACTLY what they’re craving for! They need, they lack it, they desire it, and man , I’ll what that with them, make it better than the last to keep them coming back for more. I currently have married REGULAR men.
-German(1)
-Brazil(1)
-England(2)
-France(1)
-Canada (3)
-USA (6)
Some come visit every 6 months for season, some I see 3-5times a week.
It works out for me bc NO COMMITMENT, masculinity exudes, sex is always fun, and I love it!
I NEVER judge them to thier face, I just ask questions, and that turns me on more.
IWANTMARRIEDCOCK (a4a SN)
I have probably been involved sexually with about 600 men..
95% of which are married men. 5% gay men.
I seek married men bc I like straight guys, I like to suck straight men, first timers, bicurious. Basically I like men that FCUK pussy. I don’t know why.
When a married man tells me he’s a married to a woman, THAT is an automatic turn on, and I’m already picturing myself dropping his pants. When man tells me he’s married to a man, or had a BF, it’s an automatic shut down, and I’m not at all sexually attracted nor interested.
I’ve done all sorts of married men. Tow truck driver, cab driver, my college professor, a lawyer, a sheriffs deputy, a news anchor, a surgeon, captain pilot of a major airliner, a fireman, bunch of school teachers, security guard, CEO’s, politician, city workers, electrician, the cable man, landscaper, the neighbor, the farmer, the cowboy, the redneck, a principal, emt, FBI , undercover special unit officer, tour show promoter. Etc.the list goes on and on and on.
I build trust w my guys. It will NEVER come about to light. I am EXCELLENT at what I do. That’s why they seek me. Also, a bunch are not afraid to express their sexuality with me, in the sense that they are not afraid to unveil certain turn ons that they may think would make them look wierd or be too embarrassed to share. IM ALL EARS!!! And one high butt! And a deepthroat. 🙂
For those of you who say all bisexuals are fem, you need to stay mad and on the sideline with your stupidity. As for me I love both sexes, but I’m picky when it comes to women and men. I only like bi women and fem men. Neither to me is cheating unless we go with someone of the opposite sex. I feel if either of us need sex from the opposite sex it’s time to move on. Men don’t kid yourself women like watching men having sex and will get into the action but that take the right woman/man who can handle that. Men have their on idea what/who is fem… too me smooth is the way also soft feel to them.
So Many responses that brought back more then a few memories of when I had Bi feelings. As a young 20 year old, I dated both Men and Women. What was even more wild was I was in a relationship with both sexes, at the same time. Since I was pretty much on the fence, I let fate decide who I wanted to be with. Over the years I had great relationships with Men who gave me love, respect, and hot sweaty sex. Right now I have been checking out Women to the point where i’am thinking about taking a trip to Vagina Island. It would be fun to meet a Woman who’s interested in both sexes. We would have a blast of a time.
I learned I was BI when I was 14 when a black guy forced me to have sex with him. Well he thought he forced me I kinda enjoyed it and been loving a guys manhood inside me as often as I can.
I’m a rural gay guy without a lot of sexual opportunities in an occasional-drop-in sexual friendship with a married, mostly- str8 man. He’s cute, fun, fit and, best of all, curious and experimental. We met on line and have gone from him getting sucked to wanting to suck me, then to wanting to get fucked, and (recently) he wanted to see what kissing was like! He was even good at it!
He’s gotten rimmed but hasn’t rimmed me yet; I’ve swallowed his loads, of course, but so far he won’t let me cum in his mouth. I have a feeling he’ll keep expanding his repertory. I’m pretty much a top and he’s never indicated a desire to fuck me anyway, (after all he’s obligated to top his wife all the time) but I suppose I would need to let him just to keep up with his adventuresome spirit.
After we’d been playing around for awhile I asked him what his wife would do if she knew about us and he said, without a second’s hesitation, “She would divorce me.” I realize the risk he’s taking by letting me get to know him – he’s recently revealed his real name and where he works. I am really glad for such talented and fun company in my own situation, so I make it a point to respect his choices and to honor their privacy. I have no desire to hurt her or to take him away from her, only to meet both his needs and mine.
IMO…I believe that we are all bisexual, and no one is 100% homosexual or heterosexual, we just fall on different levels of the spectrum. Sexuality is fluid, but society has created categories that we must all fit into.
i am bisexual guy, i always loved men sexuality, since i was nine years old. me and this guy agreed to the first blow jobbing, and rubbing dicks together. After that my first girlfriend we did nothing together, 19 yrs old wsa the age for losing my self to men, and then 22 i got married a girl girl illonios.
I’m 29 and bi. I came out as bi to my second girlfriend in high school. She dumped me, not because of my feelings and urges, but because I insisted on maintaining my virginity until I had graduated. I’ve had three female partners and two male partners in my life so far. I currently choose to date males to avoid any chance of unwanted pregnancy. However, most gay males I have encountered are extremely prejudiced against bi men. This is often why they decline a relationship with me. If I did encounter a female I wanted to be with, I would not shy away from her…
But I live in a society where I could marked my partner whatever their gender and we can have children together. One day, I’ll find the right partner and start a family. Until then, I will wade through the biphobia that is so rampant in the queer community.
I think that many “bi” men are really gay men who are unable, for one reason or another, to buck cultural, religious, societal, political, or family conformity. Their silence, in the context of homophobia, HIV/AIDS discrimination, gay civil rights struggles, or even snide jokes about gays, is inexcusable, when they are making forays into the gay community in order “to find something they can’t get from their wife,” or whatever their justification is for having sex with another male.
Nailed it!
Bi guy here and knew I was bi since my early teens. Had my 1st bj at 9 and totally loved it. Never felt anything better. Went the str8 route when I got in high school and was totally str8 until my wife passed from breast cancer at 49. Never once cheated on her with anyone. But after she passed was not interested in remarrying and being very highly sexual needed it often. Found the internet and was totally amazed how many guys were into M2M sex. Thought I was the only “freak”. Most of my female friends wanted a commitment before going to bed so that was out for me. Went the male route and have never looked back. 2/3 rd’s of the guys I hv been with r either married or attached and not getting what they want at home. Sex is really great in most cases and guys really enjoy the ability to release without the need to b more then good friends.
Got sexually exploited at a younger age, then at puberty enjoyed playing with other boys—a bit at first, then fairly often through high school. Never good with the girls–loved looking at the other guys in the locker room. Got involved with a woman in college and eventually we married. I hadn’t had any m2m contact for a couple years—marriage was good. Child #1, then #2—Eventually things got tired and she gained a ton of weight–we stay very loving and committed, but no sex for several years. I travel for work and eventually ran into a much younger guy who wanted some NSA fun at my hotel. It was awesome–trip back in time–and now I do this quite often when I travel. Still very much in love, but not really regretting the ‘cheating’ cuz it works and is safe—NEVER do it close to home and only like 1-3 times a year. Works for me.
Interesting post ! I am a married bi male myself. I also happen to be married to a bi female. I have been exploring my same sex tendencies since my teen years. Before my wife and I married, we agreed that forcing ourselves to stop enjoying those experiences would be unfair to each other so we both enjoy with the others consent. I have explored my sexuality with guys who claim to be straight, guys who claim to be bisexual and guys who profess to being gay. Regardless of individual sexual orientation, I’ve come to conclude one thing in this debate, we are all sexual creators. We all have sexual desires that need fulfilling and no one should be judgmental or critical of anyone for satisfying those desires.
Trans Girl I guess you can’t read because all I must with are fems, transgenders and females… maybe you ignore the ones who are black. Shame on you.
This article (and your earlier one titled “Str8-Bisexual Activity”) could have been written about me. After years and years of rejection by my wife, I decided to get naked with guys to fill the void of intimacy. I’ve been married over 20 years, have kids, live a suburban life, and am a corporate-type guy. But until I started to hook up with guys, I had no idea how many other men were ‘in the same boat’. Like you, I could not see myself cheating on my wife with another woman; but with a guy, it’s different (although I admit it’s still cheating). For me, it seems ‘less bad’ and less of a betrayal having sex with men. Yet, I recognize I’m splitting hairs on the topic.
With (most) women, there’s too much emotion and too much drama. I have already had that in spades, and I don’t want more. With guys, it’s (generally) simpler. I believe the sexual philosophy of most men can be boiled down to:
1–Get hard
2–Get off
3–Get gone
(… then repeat)
Until I started hooking up with men, I did not know how I was in bed [but then guys told me I was very good], how my dick compared to others [I’ve discovered I’m well above average], and I did not get intimate compliments from my wife [yet other men have told me what a great guy I am]. As a man, this boosts my ego and builds my self-esteem … and it fills a void my wife chooses not to fill.
Like others who responded previously, I’m surprised how judgmental some gay men are on this issue. It works for some guys, but if it doesn’t work for you, then hold your tongue and have some tolerance. Hooking up with guys gives me excitement, fun, enjoyment and stress-release … and I always ask the other guy if he had a good time, too. I want it to be good for both of us. Being with men is easier than being with women, and it’s working for me.
Why do so many guys who identify as “Gay” have such a hard time accepting men who identify as “bi”? I like girls and like to mess around with a guy from time to time, is that so difficult to accept? Why is bisexuality more acceptable between two women, than two men?
I think people should do what makes them happy. The notion that we are meant to live out our lives bored, and sexually unfulfilled is actually damaging to a person’s psychology. Repressing sexuality is NOT healthy for anyone, I don’t care what the Church may have to say about it. The truth of the matter is that Bisexuality has existed before the concept of marriage was even created. Marriage is only an agreement between two people to support eachother financially, emotionally, and physically. So you could say that marriage is a glorified form of prostitution. Yes, I just said that. If you really take a step back and contemplate the thing that society has CREATED, you’ll see that it is all based on restriction and controlling the masses of people too afraid to think for themselves. And why do Women get a pass when it comes to being bisexual? Because it’s sexy as hell, and our Patriarchal Western society will eat it right up. Human sexuality is natural, and the most intimate form of bonding. Males of every culture, have been playing around with each other since before the Gregorian calender was ever thought about, and if someone is judging you for it, it just means that they don’t understand or refuse to understand. That of which is not your concern. Live your life, stay safe, stay happy.
A message to gay men: Stop judging Bisexuals. It’s just stupid. Now, I know there are some men who say they are bisexual (but really gay)to soften the blow, so to speak, but WHO GIVES A FUCK? Why are you so worried about that shit? You sound like a homophobe almost? You both are in the same boat at the end of the day, the only difference is he’s going home to a girl while you go home to your empty apartment. Some Bisexual men are not attracted to flamboyant men, which is understandable. I am personally attracted to the masculinity of a male, so if you are acting feminine I will not get hard, unless you’re bent over and your ass is nice looking and hairy. We are all men and we are all horny. Let’s give this argument a rest. We are probably more or less ALL BISEXUAL to an extent.
YUCK…
Virtually every response from the self-identified “bi men” has cemented my belief that you really don’t respect your wives / girlfriends or the guys you sleep with on the side.
Sorry that as an adult man you haven’t yet figured out how to navigate being a flagrant homosexual gaywad, but i certainly have. Most of us aren’t living in some intolerant Islamic state where you face execution, so get off the Cross with your boo-hooing and whiny victimization bullshit.
No time for you guys and all your pathetic excuses. Really, some of you sound absolutely sickening. Cowards, liars, cheaters and users.
And stop using the term “males” and “females,” you idiots. We’re not a science experiment.
Fucking cunts.
I’m currently trying to find my sexuality as we speak. New to a lot of this. No sure what I am. Been struggling a lot. Had a guy who would say he was gay but always flirted with girls and stuff and that really made me confused and depressed. I’m all for everyone labeling them selves or not, but as I learn about my self, I try to stray away from bi, straight, and married guys. It just makes me struggler more and question myself.
As a man who has had sex with both, men and women, I have to say that I was caught in between he best of both worlds. I love women, their smell, their taste. An I love men, the animal instinct that comes from smelling another man’s musk, tasting their semen, getting brutally fucked by a stud. Now, I was never pressured by social norms into being straight or gay, but discovered on my own that I was turned on by both. Do I despise hateful queens who open their mouths and empty their purses? Yes. Am I abhorred by judgmental cunts who think they are better than thou? Of course, but that’s why there is such a variety of people to satisfy both of my ends.
There is a lot of intolerance and hatred from the gay community here towards bi guys. I find it sad that the very same people who are fighting for acceptance and tolerance of gays, are spewing hatred and intolerance for bi guys.
lol hey guys we all got to do what we need to do to enjoy life, have had sex with women, was married to a woman after our child she gained weight and didn’t stop gaining,well she’s long gone and it’s been 2 yrs since my last pussy if the right one appeared i’d do it, until it happens (not likely) it’s men all the way for me…. DDDD
I am a bi married male and often have the urge for some man sex. Yesterday I was traveling the PA turnpike and was horny and thinking about M2M sex and I wondered – how many other guys are in similar situation (not necessarily married bi but bi or just hungry for male sex) traveling alone. I thought to myself it would be nice if there were some sort of indicator. Stop at a rest area and see a guy you pass or look at each other but nothing – no sign – no indicator. It would be nice if there were some indicators – like one guy say hi – other say hi how are you. nod head up or down who knows?. Pass a car, smile then pull in front and let him pass you see if he smiles back. Pass him and see response. Just a cue to see if interest. Just running thought by you – I like reading most of post
Im a bisexual married man. Wife knows about me however she is not happy with it but appreciates that I was honest with her. She cant understand why I love dick just as much or more that she does. The ultimate relationship I had several years ago was my girlfriend was bi as well, relationship was awesome. Sex was hot and me taking a guy deep in my ass while she watches and particpated turn her on epically.