Gay Stuff : 50 Shades Of Gay – BDSM
Fifty Shades of Grey brought BDSM back on everybody’s lips. It started as an erotic romance novel by British author E. L. James. It is the first installment in the Fifty Shades trilogy that traces the deepening relationship between a college graduate, Anastasia Steele, and a young business magnate, Christian Grey. It is notable for its explicitly erotic scenes featuring elements of sexual practices involving BDSM. The series of books has sold over 100 million copies worldwide and been translated into 52 languages and set a record in the United Kingdom as the fastest-selling paperback of all time. Critical reception of the book, however, has tended toward the negative, with the quality of its prose generally seen as poor. Universal Pictures and Focus Features produced a film adaptation, which was released last week on 13 February 2015 and also received generally unfavorable reviews. I’ve seen the movie and personally loved it, did you see it?
For those of you not familiar with the term, BDSM is a variety of erotic practices involving dominance and submission, roleplaying, restraint, and other interpersonal dynamics. Given the wide range of practices, some of which may be engaged in by people who do not consider themselves as practicing BDSM, inclusion in the BDSM community or subculture is usually dependent on self-identification and shared experience. Interest in BDSM can range from one-time experimentation to a lifestyle.
The BDSM initialism
The term BDSM dates back to 1969, however, the origin of the term BDSM is unclear and is believed to have been formed either from joining the term B&D (bondage and discipline) with S&M (sadomasochism, or sadism and masochism), or as a compound initialism from B&D, D&S (dominance and submission), and S&M. Regardless of its origin, BDSM is used as a catch-all phrase to include a wide range of activities, forms of interpersonal relationships, and distinct subcultures. BDSM communities generally welcome anyone with a non-normative streak who identifies with the community; this may include cross-dressers, extreme body mod enthusiasts, animal players, latex or rubber aficionados, and others.
Are you into BDSM? Have you ever experienced it in any ways? Let us know what you tried and what you would like to try.
In celebration of the movie 50 Shades Of Grey, we gathered all our BDSM products in the A4A sex toys store under the name 50 Shades Of Gay and we are offering 20% OFF to our members ONLY for few days. Simply enter coupon code 50ShadesOfGay at checkout to receive the discount.
Enjoy and let me know your opinion on BDSM below.
Dave
Have only responded a couple times to posts on this blog but feel the need to. Have to be up front and admit I am not into bondage or sado-masochism. On one level it is exciting to think about being uninhibited and controlling and also being controlled. But sort of disturbs me. For me the fun is connecting ultimately with another human not an object. Although going to the edge is exciting – the idea of using another person in a degrading way or being with someone who enjoys the encounter only if he can degrade me is not very appealing.
While I love the look, smell & feel of leather and how some guys look amazing in it. I find that I don’t connect with those guys much at all though I get hit on by them all the time. I just can’t get into being degrading to a guy and take umbrage at someone thinking I’m going to be objectified. Guess I’m that rare freak that’s just too vanilla to appreciate the extreme end of the bdsm scene. Don’t get me wrong I’ve fisted more than a few guys in my day but the mental abuse thing just turns me off immediately no matter how hot the man is wanting me to do so.
bonadge is fun
and very sexy
got a date with a sexy man from here
we are goin to see the movie 🙂
I was alway curious and met a guy a year ago on here that was very into BDSM. He was respectful of my limits and allowed me to go at my pace. Eventually I was fully restrained ( hands ankles, neck ) on his grid in his playroom. It was also my first time dressing in leather and the first time being fucked while retrained in a sling. I trusted him which is the most important thing when you make yourself that vulnerable.
I have to say, it was erotic as Hell and more exciting than I even imagined. Definitely not a lifestyle for me but something I’m glad I tried.
I love guys tieng me up and treating me real rough
I tried it once with someone who really knew what he was doing, but it didn’t do much for me. I suspect that it was because we treated it more like a demo, so he didn’t go as far as he perhaps should have. However, I don’t think BDSM is for me. Having said that, I must admit that I never felt any desire to read the book and from the reviews I’ve read, parts of the movie made audiences laugh out loud. So I think I’ll pass on both.
The problem with 50 Shades is not that it’s terribly written (which it is) but that it does not accurately portray what BDSM is. Rather, it portrays a very abusive and unhealthy relationship. Look up anything about the books or film, and you can easily find that they are a massive misrepresentation of BDSM as as a whole and instead… Just do a little research. The books started out as a bad fan fiction based off of Bella and Edward from the “Twilight” series
I’m not a fan of the series because in the books, Christian is totally stalking the shit out of Anastasia. He’s clearly using his money and power to put pressure on this college girl. The whole books strikes a stalker-like vibe with me because of that. I hear the movie gives her a bit more agency, but I still see the movie as basically fruit from a poisoned tree.
Well first off I was not impressed by the movie in the slightest. However the book was well written. I’m into the scenes of bdsm. I think bdsm for me has become a way of life in the bedroom. Yes sometimes it does come out in the public forums but only in our elements. I think that the writings of this author are excellent. The box office presentation was built so high I was really expecting to be blown out of the the water as i was with kamerons Titanic.
I have several fantasies that are BDSM related. I imagine them during masturbation, and my orgasms always seem to be more intense during these fantasies. I hope that someday, I can actually make them come true. Of course, I have to be really comfortable with them and trust them, and they would have to respect my limits.
1. Is I am tied spread-eagle and masturbated (milked) thru several orgasms until my balls are empty.
2. I am restrained in a sling, and fucked from both ends by several guys, who end up shooting their loads all over my body, covering me with their hot cream!
Twisted is fine. Slightly and more. Open discussion of tripping triggers is extremely intimate. It requires trust. Not everyone will understand or make the commitment to explore and not exploit. When it works it is liberating giving up control and experiencing the result. Not for everyone. It takes balls. But it can liberate your life in many aspects. Later.
I have several fantasies in the BDSM realm, which greatly intensify my orgasms. Hopefully someday I will actually get them to become reality.
In one, I’m tied spread eagle and made to cum multiple times until my balls are empty.
In another, I’m restrained in a sling, and penetrated from both ends by multiple men, who then cover me in hot cream.
OK, so I am into BDSM, and have been for about 15 years (to one extent or another)… but I don’t make it a centerpiece of my existence. I have only a small array of equipment: I’m not rich like Mr Grey! 🙂
I am usually the “top” in BDSM, but I must say that one of the most erotic moments of my life came when I let a very close (intimate) friend tie me down with my own equipment. For me, though, this is not surprising – I’ve always found that I have a strong tendency towards versatility. It probably dates to when I was first experimenting with sex and my buddy and I would literally time how long we’d suck each others’ cocks.
Still, I once had an A4A profile that DID highlight my BSDM preferences and found the results very unsatisfactory. Mostly people wanting to denigrate the lifestyle or fakes who just wanted me to send them bondage pics. I don’t experience a high rate of actually meeting on A4A, but this profile was abysmal! I eventually gave up on it.
As a result, I use another service to seek out BDSM partners, and only mention BDSM here (on A4A) as a “kink”. It is amazing the results I have found – and I’ve been pleasantly surprised by many of the other men I’ve found that fantasize or are big into the scene.
I haven’t read the book (50 Shades… it’s been described as borderline pornographic to me, and straight porn just doesn’t do it for me), and I plan to see the movie this next week (ironically with a straight – female – friend).
I have some degree of hope that the end result of this movie might be more acceptance and tolerance of the bdsm sub-culture… hell, I may even resurrect my old profile! 🙂
Not into it, don’t want to do it.
To me it’s 50 shades of naive.
The people who are intrigued or have a mild obsession with it are those who do not know of the scene or think bdsm is a way of keeping things “spicy” with fluffy cuffs boa restraints and a lacey thong.
No real desire to see the movie but I can see that appeal the naive can see in it. Much like a tear jerker of an oppressed gay guys personal thoughts.
Myself. I identify as passive. Not submissive lol
It often surprises me, and I know that it shouldn’t, however, sex (doesn’t matter what kind) will always overtake and dominate any other movie genre. As humans, we seem to be magnetically attracted to sex. The more extreme or unusual the sexual situation or tension is, the more that we want to know about, and even experience it. The flip side of that coin is that we fear anyone else knowing that we would love nothing more than to be used in such a deviant manner. With all that fear, excitement, and in a lot of peoples cases, loathed, we are even through moral and socially unacceptable practices, willing to pay top-dollar for the chance to be a part of a community that has more members than Facebook.
BDSM is a natural progression for homosexual men.
Objectification,Deceit,Infidelity,Hyper Sexuality,
all take their toll.
No wonder the high substance abuse / suicide rate of
homosexual men.
We won’t evolve until we address it.
I have had several BDSM experiences. Overall, I found them to be silly and boring. …restrained, clothes pins on the body, waxed, shaved, covered in chains, oiled from head to toe, hooded, spanked, etc.; it neither heightened my sexual experience nor was it sexually satisfying. None of the experiences were violent and there was never any underlying malicious intent. My limits were always respected. Unfortunately, what we often encounter in books and movies are extreme psychopaths – sex and violence sells. Would you really sit and watch a movie, with undivided attention, of someone simply kneeling for 30 minutes? Ugh. Watching paper whites grow is more exciting.
I want to address (briefly) the people who “condemn” BSDM, in general, as “gross”, “evil”, “bad”, or whatever… But the same comment could be applied to ANYONE condemning someone else’s sexual preferences!
If it’s not your thing, then its not your thing. But remember, other people can only change what it is that turns them on only as much as YOU CAN… that is, not at all!
If you’ve tried BDSM and it didn’t turn you on, then congratulations for being open to sexperimentation, and sorry it didn’t work out… but this is akin to trying sex with a woman and finding out it’s not your thing!
Me personally? I have tried watersports on several occasions, and it’s never been anything even remotely sexy to me! I am flabbergasted that the site “Boys Smoking” can even make enough money to keep a dial-up connection working; and I just don’t get it when guys want to dress up in one kind of “costume” (leather, lace, uniforms, speedos, etc.) or another. To me, sex is about getting you OUT of those clothes!
But I don’t condemn these sexual practices — in fact, a dude I often play with from here on A4A is massively turned on when I pee on him. Doesn’t do anything for me, but it gets him randy (and we do it in the shower, so he’s clean after), and we both have a good time AFTER the watersports, so its all good to me!
The point is, people being different from what YOU think is “normal” is a condition that, as a gay/bi/etc man on A4A, you not only shouldn’t have a problem with, but that you should have some EMPATHY for!
bonadge is very fun
for me being a top
just knowin iam in controll
when iam done all my guys loves it
when i do bonadge
i go slow and always keep my hands on them just to have trust
Met 4 men once who were into light BDSM. They invited me to their place. We set limits I would go to. The time with them was very hot and sexual. They all were very hung 9″ or more, and tied me on a bed first. I was fed their cocks one after another, deep throating each one , then fucked on both ends. They whip my ass with a soft leather while I was being fucked deep, each taking their turns, till they shot their loads all over and in my ass. Was put in a sling that was hung over the bed and movable. Experienced 1st double penetration, lightly flogged on my body and ass. The experience was pleasurable. Went to another place with them saw more intense BDSM, with some getting intense pain, but did not participate in the intense versions of BDSM. Don’t think I ever would. Extreme BDSM is only for the crazy. You have to have limits, light BDSM can be very sexual.
I’ve recently been having fantasies of being raped. It’s not something I would normally find arousing, but lately it seems to occupy my mind more and more. In my fantasy I hook up with a guy at his place. We start getting it on, kissing, stroking, etc. Then I decide I really don’t want to do it. I say I need to leave. At that point the guy grabs me by the shirt and pins me against the wall… Leans into me so we’re face to face… Tells me I’m nothing but a little cock tease and I’m not going anywhere until he’s done with me. Then he gives me a backhand and knocks me to the floor. I try to get up but by that time he is on top of me with his hard cock out. He forces me to suck him… Calling me names, humiliating me, face fucks me until he shoots a load down my throat. He continues slapping me around until he gets me up on the bed, forces me down spread eagled, face down, straddles me and forces his hard again cock in my ass and fucks me mercilessly until he’s satisfied.
I do enjoy being part of the leather community as for myself it is a part of my life and enjoy BDSM but like a few people have said that it wasn’t for them I understand what they are saying it’s not for everyone. You do have to trust the person your with while doing it. That is what I tell people that ask me about it. TRUST is the key word. I have never read the book and probably never will, if you want a good erotic book read the Sleeping Beauty Chronicle books by Anne Rice aka A.R.Roquellaure she was in San Francisco and went to the leather bar’s back in the 70’s to find out about the lifestyle then to get her inspiration to right the books and you can visualize every word as you read it. It will turn you on.But for those who talked about being degraded that is not what BDSM is,it’s about giving control of your body to someone else and explore the other side of the sexual experience.
i enjoy being told what to do and having my hair pulled and face slapped a little. i once spent 4 hours on my knees while a room full of guys took turns using my mouth.it was a club in SF that is no longer there. MY PLACE on folsom. the back play area was pretty intense sometimes. i took at least a dozen loads in my mouth and several more on my face while sucking another. i dont know if that qualifies as BDSM but i love being submissive cocksucking whore
JADED, we don’t have higher rates of substance abuse and suicide simply because we have dicks (which is really what your whining comes down to) but because of how we’re treated by much of society. Those rates tend to decrease in blue states.
As for this trash book and movie, not only is it poorly written and inaccurate, but in the end, BDSM itself is pathologized. I won’t be seeing the movie. No need to contribute a dime of mine to such ignorant bullshit.
BDSM can be exciting/fulfilling for guys who are into it… who have negotiated what they want, respect each other’s boundaries and keep the lines of communication open. I’m not particularly into the more twisted/kinky alphabet soup of subdivisions in gay male sexuality. And while I can appreciate the look of a hot guy in leather (or a Speedo, or feathers, or a jock), pics/porn of guys in leather or latex do nothing for me… It’s kind of like looking at Byzantine art — symbols, rather than actual human beings… Just my opinion.
I’m a “reciprocity” guy. At the end of the playtime, players should have cum and are happy.** That most often happens without toys or story lines … all of which I personally find as distractions from the fact that I have a real, live, human male in my grasp for some fun sex-ing.
Along the way, one of us could call the shots and run the show but then again the question of “who’s calling the shots now?” could be a cause to switch between who’s having their way and who’s being taken. Sometimes when a bud says “hold off. I’m about to cum” I will. Other times it’s “shut the hell up, bud. Yes, you ARE coming NOW!” 9 times out of 10 they go with the flow. That one time where there’s some wresting to stop his coming is good too. I’m pretty easily convinced to hold off. All in fun and pleasure.
I cannot fathom how being humiliated, held against my will, or being put in serious pain could equate with any type of pleasure. Just NOT the way I’m wired. But it seems those trip some guys’ triggers. More power to them. Enjoy! Good luck with remaining in control and not having some aggressive, dominating, selfish, lying ass inflict serous injury on you because “gee, he seemed like a ‘nice’ guy and we knew it other and discussed the ‘rules’.” Hey, your body. You life. Your choice.
*Not to say I may not declare a “service call” where I show up to make the bud cum without work on his part and without reciprocity, usually to celebrate something like a birthday, or promotion, or award, or degree gained, etc. I “enjoy” doing that. The question then is “who then is really ‘having their way’ with who?”
I find this practice aberrant. It amazes me that if something is talked about enough, or if it is put in film how some people think everybody is doing it or is interested in doing it. It is what it is though. I think this attitude condones similar attitudes on A4A. Eventhough A4A is also advertised as a dating site, people are apauled if your looking for more than bizzare anonymous sex. Everybody is not into BDSM.
I had a few good moments with this subject and a few bad. The bad outweighed the good. So when I’m with others I like things fairly normal and it’s enough. In my mind and in private though, something like breederfuckers.com gets me off. I believe in fantasy and just letting go. It’s easier when someone else does it.