Gay Stuff: Do We Have Too Many Limits?

imntresting topic this looks like some the pofiles I have red on a4a

Sadly I fear that the LGBT community will always be like this, especially in the US where I am. Too many guys are shallow. It’s depressing.

If you have an issue with guys not wanting to fuck a stranger that uses IV drugs and has STDs/STIs then you’re probably also someone who is a proponent of unprotected sex with strangers. If I want to get off, yeah I might use a hookup all but wanting to limit myself to a healthy individual shouldn’t be unreasonable.

Why does it matter that ppl have STANDARDS……..maybe there shdbe a site where guys who don t care what anyone looks like can go instead of a4a.

Maybe it s time another site who caters to guys who are 100 percent whores can go who have NO care about looks etc.

We as people and in the gay world we have just become as mixed up and stupid as the rest. First most of us have gone into hiding and the rest want to be on the dl tip.

Last time I check a4a is a site to hook up and have a good time. Most of the profiles are funny anyone and most of the guys that want this or that take a look at the profile and you will see they are not meeting what they are requesting.

I miss the good old days when you went out to a clib danced and had a drink saw a person you hit it off went home and had hot sex and if you enjoyed it you had it again and maybe ended up as a couple.

I totally agree. I am a victim of akl those limits. I feel so frustrated. I wonder if i ever find someone on here who just want to have sex without limits.

Very much true. Not only do we have the separation there’s the games that we as adults should’ve left in our kid days. It’s irritating. But times change and people evolve. They will one day understand and have a better reason why they end up in that same space. Lol

Why should it matter? Girls do it to guys and guys do it to girls back. Its been going on for centuries. Its like ive told friends numerous times when they tried to set me up. Just because I’m gay doesn’t mean he is my type. I do feel their should be some chemistry between us. But if I’m not into you than I’m sorry. And who is to say that just because we are gay we should act like whores? Not that I care if you like having sex with countless men you don’t know is entirely all on you. But some of us like myself who are not into that just don’t like it and also don’t want to risk catching a sexual disease. I don’t agree its become complicated as you mentioned in your post. More guy are just starting to be aware of the fire play with when having risky sex. And believe me I’ve been single for four years. I’m 23, and healthy as can be. My weight may go up and down at times but so what. Like that old saying goes “those who wait good things will come to you”. So I’m going to keep living my life and expect the rest of you as well. Don’t let this article make you feel any different.

I too chuckle when I read these limiting profiles but really only see a problem when they are intentionally rude. Me being a person of color prefer (and am sexually aroused) exclusively by other men of color. I’ve played the field enough to know what I like and will not settle to make someone else feel better about themselves. Also, an enlightened person knows that a person who has their own home will more than likely respect yours when you host. I can’t speak for every gay man nor can I say we all have this elevated thought process during “hookup” selection however, I can say that I am glad to see that gay men are setting standards and beginning to adhere to there own requirements. We just have to remember to keep it kind, thoughtful, and above all sexy. With that in mind I welcome the application process as I realize that it is less a “hiring” process and more a merger negotiation and if both parties are not in complete agreement. Both can part ways unscathed with egos still in tact.

Bravo homos!

Best,
Viktor E.

I’m a Homo Male . I love MEN and I try to make myself avaliable and smart enough to find attractiveness in a wide range of Men . That attitude has served me well gotten me lots of great sex and spiritual rewards . Lots of Men are embracing Brotherhood rather then a hunter /prey model . Make love isn’t the same as Men and women , it’s superior !

My favorite is when you email someone and they automatically block you without even responding. Who gave them the name “God”? I am not an egotist, but I do have to say that I am not bad looking and I do have a nice body for my age (46)but some of these guys will just block for no reason. I recently emailed someone who said they were looking for to date and asked them when I could take them out for a date………….BLOCKED!!! The next week I get my monthly email from Men4rent and there he is………..the new HOOKER of the Month………LOL….had to laugh!!! He is in St.Petersburg,fl btw…..don’t hire him with his egotistical attitude……..Peace out guys

I have become frustrated with the list of demands on some of these profiles. I am an oral person. These guys want body pics. I am usually dressed while servicing them. Then it’s the chub and masculinity issue. There are different levels of masculinity.

Personally, I believe we have the right to choose who we sleep with based on “wants” and “don’t wants.” Same goes with people looking for friends. Also its my observation that those who complain about such things are the ones who are not having as much fun as others.
Some people may take it too far and have a complete list of requirements and others see that as being picky and unrealistic but that shouldnt give you reason to bitch just because you can’t sleep with them.
Plenty of fish in the sea. Get over it and move on.

How true that writing says. Age is the one limitation that gets me. Most think that when u are over 35 you are to old. They sure do miss out on good pleasure. Older is actually better.

Yeah, we are basically acting like a bunch of prissy queens. I can understand wanting to know things like, “Travel or Host”, but do you really need to know if I have a job? Why don’t you ask me about my last two employers, while you’re at it?

Being sexually attracted to someone is important if you want to have sex, but we have been, more and more, narrowing what we consider attractive. It’s no longer acceptable for your trist to be a white male twink or not. He now has to have at least an 8″ cock, athletic build, low body fat, and be a bisexual married man on the down-low. It has become ridiculous how picky – and by extension, self-inflated – we’ve become. Some of the best sex I’ve had has been with guys who, at first sight, may not be my ideal type. We need to loosen up and just enjoy ourselves.

I totally agree. It is so frustrating meeting people anymore. It was easier in the 70s and 80s than it is now. Everyone is so into their own little world about me, myself and I, they don’t consider the other person at all. It’s really sad. I don’t think we have come very far in this endeavor.

Articles like this drag down the entire alternative lifestyle community.

“Oh, I’m not pretty enough to get noticed and I can’t think of anything clever to put in my profile to draw attention. Let me go cry and whine, then write an article complaining that people have preferences and standards.”

Give me a break. People put preferences in their profiles because we’ve evolved past having to fuck anything that moves because we don’t know when we’ll get it again. My advice to you would be to get back in the gym and possibly take a class on writing.

I think we’ve gotten to the point where we CAN be more selective.
Personally, I’d be willing to give anyone a shot, but, at the same time, I do have preferences. It seems awkward being with someone who is much taller, or shorter than I. I also like men, because they’re men. Meaning, I’d be willing to give a drag, or trans guy a chance, but when it comes down to relationship potential, I’d rather have a man instead of a man who dresses, or acts, or wants to be, a woman.
I’m also someone who prefers to be on top. Hooking up with another top just doesn’t seem to be conducive to a long term relationship. Friends with benefits, perhaps.
Then there’s the obesity. I don’t want to feel like I’m playing Hide and Seek. I want him to feel great. I don’t want to be hunting for his junk. On the opposite side, I don’t want to feel like I’m screwing a skeleton either.
Are we shooting ourselves in the foot? Maybe. But if you want more than a one nighter, you have to know what you like. On the other hand, you also can’t be so restrictive that you have to travel a thousand miles just to find someone within your own parameters.

THANK YOU! Finally, sounds like another gay man actually thinks with his brain and not his “head”. I’ve been contemplating this subject for years now. It’s very isolating. Granted, I do want to find a boyfriend rather than the hookup scene anymore (been there, done that, time for something with substance). But I keep it low-key because these sites aren’t for dating, they are for minimalizing your self-esteem… or at least that’s what it has become. I don’t even bother saying hi to anyone anymore, because I don’t expect people to have a decent conversation or even reply back… and I’m not even unattractive! We are so limited and judgmental of our own community that no one could possibly ever find actual happiness, just brief orgasms. And that saddens me sorely!

Seriously? You want to whine because guys have things they consider attractive and things they don’t? So just because you want to get off you’re going to hookup with the next thing that comes along? So Jabba the Hutt who is fruiter than dole cocktail salad and can’t speak a lick of the language you speak, has every STD known to man (and is probably patient zero for a few new ones), has track marks up and down his body from rampant drug use is the next person to hit you up, and you’re gonna get with him because you want to get off. Are these “good old days” you’re reminiscing about perhaps during the beginning and height of the AIDS epidemic? Maybe that’s one big reason that gay men became more discerning about the men they choose to have sex with? If you’re going to participate in a risky behavior that will put you own life possibly at risk, maybe it should be worth it in their view? Personally, why even hook up with a guy if you’re not attracted to them? Sex is about the attraction, primarily on a physical basis when you’re talking about a hook-up, and if you’re not in to it, why even bother? If all I wanted was sex and didn’t care who it was with, I could get laid every night, by a different guy, but it wouldn’t mean shit to me. Sex to me is more about quality than quantity. I’d rather get 30 minutes once a month with a guy I’m really attracted to rather than all day, every day, with someone I’m not attracted. Besides, then I would be having it so much it would loose it’s meaning and excitement, where as if I was having it once a month with someone whom I was really attracted to, I get to anticipate seeing them, have fantasies about what we might do or reminisce about what we did last time. If you can’t get someone to hook up with you, maybe you should do more to try and fit into what these guys are looking for, or change the scope of your search? Why should they change for you if you’re not willing to change for them?

ah another guy butthurt over not fitting someone they wanted to get with’s preferences. Even when it comes to hooking up having preferences in what you like is perfectly normal and fine. Some people don’t like short people and some people find short people amazingly hot. Get over it.

AMEN to that!

This, in my opinion, just helps a person know more about the person they are chatting with or emailing with online. It is not to judge or “dis” someone. Everyone has a right to pick and choose who they want to communicate with, or NOT! People are too thin skinned these days. If they don’t want to deal with you, then move on. Life is short.

I have a profile on this site for a while and overall this site as a whole has been very frustrating in trying to hook up especially if the distance is within a 50 mile radius because the guys online overall are lying about their stats, very rude of blocking you before really getting to know a person, judging you to want something just because I said hello and how you’re doing, trying to be polite like my mom and dad and my relatives taught me, acting so stuck up and mentions a certain race can only talk to me. We can’t do anything about skin color, list goes on and on. Our gay communities as a whole are fighting among ourselves and not being together causes us to lose focus of what’s important and why we are on this site to begin with. Please keep in mind online may be the only way of communicating for some people because of so much frustration in the gay scene. Keep in mind this is a diverse country and God did not make everyone alike. We have to learn to embrace the difference instead of tearing each other down. We as a gay community are different and we have to recognize that and learn from one another. Open your minds, you may be surprised what you find out. We should be able to have a conversation if no hookup takes place. We have to come together before anything can change in this country that will benefit our gay community as a whole.

I can totally relate with this. I dig the common preference for hygiene, clean hole, DDF, drugs or 420 (i don’t do either), HWP, and age. But to see very stringent requirements from others is just preposterous.

I am a bi man who lives in Iowa and most often than not, the person I chat with (or who’ve shown interest) would just disappear the moment I tell them I am Asian/Pacific Islander. What’s wrong with that?

And how about those looking for “only good looking” or “only muscular”???

Setting all those requirements just deprives one the opportunity to enjoy the company of well deserving people. Why limit yourself to a menu of 10 men if you can have plethora to choose from?

Good point. After 20 minutes of back and forth chatting, I just log off the computer, jack my dick and go to bed.

I agree. There are way too many limits. Guys want the perfect guy and they just wait around forever for someone that fits the perfect mold they have created in their mind, all the while complaining that they can never find anyone to “date”.

There’s a popular classified site I frequent, as well as a4a, and on that site I sometimes check out the Men looking for Women ads. Straight men are so not picky. Their criteria is pretty much: “be a woman and be alive” (and the second part of that is negotiable). Meanwhile in the gay world: “Don’t be old of fat” — I hit on those because I am old AND fat, so technically I qualify. “No oldies”, “No fatties”, “Looking for thin to muscular guys”, “Twinks only”, “White guys only”, “Nobody older than 25”, “Nobody under 30”, and the list goes on.

The way I see it, 90% of the time, it’s just sex. It’s not like you’re taking me home to Thanksgiving dinner… although I do clean up nicely.. but that’s another topic entirely. The majority of, at least, the younger guys can’t host anyway so we’re hooking up in the back seat of my car on a deserted gravel road somewhere. It’s dark, and funky… does it really matter if I’m 25, or 30, or 35? Of if I weigh 175 or 200 or 210?

If you’re sitting around waiting for Mister Right. Who is 18, and has an 8 pack, and the deepest blue eyes, and a slight twinkle when he smiles, a body as smooth as bathroom tile… And, of course, a 10 inch fat cock… Then you’re going to be sadly disappointed because he’s probably not out there.

And the funniest part, most of the time, people with 1,000 requirements for who they will hook up with are rather unfortunate-looking themselves.

I couldn’t agree more. We want equality, but segregate ourselves. Sad but true. Fine you want a specific guy, even Chubb’s say “masculine only”. WTF!? LMAO, until err can respect each other, n learn to unify x not just sexually, We will never move forward.

Call it The new normal because it is .Thank God I have lived through my experiences when i did because I was so much less shallow.Youth is wasted on the young

I agree with you 100%. And I’ll admit, though I don’t have any of those “requirements” in my profile, I have dismissed someone based on his looks. I think most “beautiful” people want to be surrounded by other attractive people, no matter the circumstance. But when I go out to a straight bar or neutral environment, I see all different types of people from all backgrounds, mingling, socializing and having a great time. Now when I venture into a gay bar, it’s like high school all over again. The jocks with the jocks, the bears with the bears and so on and so on. We are wanting the same rights as the rest of the population but yet we discriminate against other gay guys because we don’t like the way they look or act? Doesn’t make too much sense. Hmu on a4a and I’ll be sure to say hello no matter who you are! Have a great day!

im with you 100% i try to be nice and i either get ignored or a rude reply its sad how it is now and days my self esteem dropped because of people like that.

“No Fats or Fems”

Seriously, though. If a guy doesn’t get hard for fat or feminine guys, no amount of web articles or forum discussion is going to convince his dick to get hard for fat or feminine guys.

The funny thing is: most gay guys have feminine traits, yet most gay guys are almost exclusively attracted to masculine men. And masculine men are almost exclusively attracted to other masculine men. Which means most masculine men will just stick to each other, leaving a bunch of feminine guys sexually frustrated.

Ever funnier: most feminine traits are behavioral and controlled. I hate to say it but, a lot of it is choice. There’s nothing in your DNA forcing you to thread your eyebrows, get star tattoos, wear makeup or “talk like that.”

As for Fats… All I can say is that I’ve gone to bear events, watching all the bears swoon over the slim otters and jock “chubby chasers” (of which there’s only a few of) while the hundreds of bears all ignore each other. Seriously guys, if you’re not attracted to fat, don’t be far yourself. It’s hypocritical. But then again, hypocrisy is rampant in the gay community.

This is so true. We hate that others discriminate against us but we are so discriminating against each other. So many rude guys. If you are not a model or perfect in ever way you dont have a chance. Being a larger chub the discrimination is so bad . Doesn’t matter i am a awesome guy or not. I get blocked just looking at pics. And if you offer a compliment you are severely chastised for it. I used to have decent luck hooking up…never now. We need to treat others with respect and give them a chance.

I totally agree there are way too many limitations. What happened to just having sex and enjoying it even if it is a one niter…be for real. Cut back on the limitations guys and just have fun and some great sex

QUEENS. AND DON’T THINK QUEENS ONLY COME IN THE BOTTOM “ROLE”. THERW ARE MANY MANY QUEENS WHO ARE TOPS BUT MASCULINE, BUT THEY’RE QUEENY IN A DIFFERENT WAY. TOP QUEENS ARE THE WORST!!! AND BEHIND THEM ARE VERSATILE QUEENS. UGH!!!

Things got complicated when we decided that we wanted them to be. In our never ending quest for sex and some will say love, somehow we got it twisted and allowed ourselves not to trust not only one another but ourselves. We also learned to be shamed for liking what/who we like and therefore we set up these false constructs so that which we desire we deny ourselves of only because we feel /think we should not behave this way. Why else would any openly gay man deal with a DL guy? He can only be a temporary fix and never a really satisfying partner. He’s only there w/ u when he thinks no one is looking. Why else would a (fat guy,chub, big boy) allow themselves to be “fetishized” by some guy who just sees them as an object to be use for their amusement. And then accept their attention as being loved. Is it because it feels better than being alone? Is it really? I think when we get honest and learn to accept ourselves worts and all we can then be open to others and the barriers we put up to protect our egos won’t be needed. But we have to first start with loving who we truely are. And know that we all have value.

The more filters you apply, the fewer results you get. Perhaps nothing at all.

YES! Agreed. And, how can we really judge one another by these tiny little boxes we see. We need to open our view and really CONNECT with each other. This is where the real turn-on is.

Yes. I totally agree with you. I don’t necessarily remember the “good ol’ days” be sure I wasn’t around then 😉 but I do completely agree that it seems like filling out an application for more than a job. I too get frustrated and end up just saying to hell with it and just jerk off usually lol. Where are the chill guys that are actually down to earth? Really…. where? I would like to know. 🙂

I too remember the “good ol days”.. I just really logging online about a year and a half ago..I like going to pubs and meeting people face to face rather than an online interview! You can tell if chemistry. .instant attractions or know if someone is just downright nuts in person. .lol..now..people can give you a cyber idea of themselves which ive found out most are just wish or fantasizing that idea of themselves

In closing. .lol..when your truly comfortable. .there is no limits..TO HELL WITH THE APPLICATION AND INTERVIEW PROCESS..LEAVE THE INTERNET TO NO HOLDS BARRED PURELY TO GET OFF LIFE..

i just got this one — “not into skin heads”

I fault A4A for all the specifics you ask when posting a profile… why dont’ you change your format… I, for one am so tired of (1) being blocked from viewing a profile… and for no good reason at all. (2) if your either neg or poz… come on now… we all know you should treat everyone as if they are poz. (3)Profile pics should only be face pics, not crotch pics, they can be posted in private pics, (I believe that’s what your requirements were… seems like everyone is posting pics of their dicks… ever gay man has a dick… what about what’s in your head… and on your mind. (4) and what about including a section that allows men that have been on a date to mention to the public if ‘hook up’ was safe and not a bad experience… think about all the guys who have been robbed, beaten up, or worse when using this website… there are a lot of fortune seekers, criminals viewing this site, looking for an easy prey…

Yes i do think we are putting to many limits on our selves. Now bodybuilders only want other bodybuilders masc only want masc. Whats wrong with a little sugar in your tank. They want discreet. Do these guys think that we are going to show up with parade outside their house or what. There are too many limits for someone just wanting to get off.

My theory…if you are looking for perfection….you had better be BRINGING perfection….and as of yet….I have not seen that happen…

In today’s and age….. I ask many questions. I am health conscious and want to be sure that I protect myself. drug and disease free u b 2. You are are off the mark on this one. I prefer standards and compatibility.

I have a specific type of individual I am attracted to and qualities I want in a potential connection or otherwise.

I had a great connection not on this site but another and we had a lasting friendship and relationship. Until I screwed it up. So, I will move forward again looking for compatibility or rather what you are terming as limitations.

we have too many limits but it seems the one that needs to have a limit , since its a matter of life or a chronic disease or death sentence, no limit there and it is bare backing. Our population is a microcosm of the world at large, not focusing and being angry about the right stuff and no one speaking up as a true leader.

It’s great when guys list their laundry list of “must haves” and “no …” and “only …” in their profiles. It means moving easily onto the next profile.

Way too much limits. We are just a bunch of uptight bunch of online fools who place a limit on everything at times so pathetic. Take the ads that states’ will not respond to Hi, How are you , What’s up “…what wrong with someone asking how r u ? For people who have been persecuted and discriminated by society for so long, we have so much limits and rule you would never think the online community can be so vicious with rules and limits so disgusting. how about the ones- Open your picture BEFORE you contact me ?! what does that say ? tragic!

You’re absolutely right. Ads read like someone’s ordering a pizza or fitting you for a wedding dress.

if nobody wants to fuck you, it’s on you to make the changes to make yourself more desirable. society isn’t going to change for you.

I don’t think there is anything wrong with being clear in your profile about the types of guys you’re into or the activities you want to participate in – and clearly communicate boundaries and deal breakers. That being said, the seemingly extreme limitations some guys add to their profile shows how closed minded and shallow some can be. The bigger concern, in my opinion, is the attitude behind these profiles. “You’re different from me, and I think I’m better than you,” only serves to divide the gay community more than it is. How can we expect the straight community to respect us when we don’t even respect each other? Bears and jocks and twinks and everyone else – play nice with each other! Limiting that profile very well could prevent you from meeting a great guy.

Most people try to convince themselves of two things in our community, one they are not whores and two they want a functional gay relationship.

We all now hide behind the word preference and create itemize lists of criteria, sad part the guys that actually match the things on your list aren’t interested in you as you aren’t their preference most times.

Even if you score the guy of your itemize list, a grand pretense of getting to know him takes place. So within 2 days you chat until you know this individual life details, but knowing alot about someone doesnt make you compatible and doesnt mean you know the person.

When we finially meet each other most of us are horny and want sex even if the guy doesn’t live up to expectations.

The belief that because you know a bunch of random life details about your sex patner makes the hook up less of a NSA encounter is stupid but the accepted standard.

Thanks for saying what i have been thinking for s couple of years now
These guys with all the limitations and requirements are missing out on some really fun, nice great guys.
I understand people are attracted to a certain type. I too, have a certain type of guy that i am attracted too, but i am never rude, mean or obnoxious about it. i keep my requirements in my head , no one needs to know them. I never want to make someone feel bad for being born a certain height, race, or time.
One of the worst ive read was ” if you are old enough to be my fucking dad, move on”
Its not what we say, but how we say it. And the threats of “blocking” if you do not reply/contact correctly is the most ridiculous thing. Its so stupid that its. ignorance and narcissism has replaced fun and respect on a4a surfing

It seems to me that people are reading the original article one of 2 ways:
a) that people are putting in preferences at all (e.g.: I like tall, dark, and handsome men over 30), or
b) that some are being way WAY over the top with specifics (e.g.: must be white, over 6′ tall, smooth chested, packing at least 9″ uncut, have a good job, a nice car, no kids, and a solid retirement account)

In the former case, I’m all for it — your profile should be specific about who you’re looking for so that you’re not inundated with messages from people you aren’t (or won’t be) interested in!

In the latter case, I just laugh and move on (even if I match their criteria to a Tee!) — these are the people I alluded to earlier… that I believe are trying to recreate something that most likely can’t be recreated.

Of course, there are some profiles that are in a “grey area” between being clear about likes & dislikes vs. ordering a pizza!

We’re all unique… the rainbow as the symbol of our community was well chosen, even if that is lost on the majority of A4A users!

First let me state that after reading all the responses, I am not saying it is just about Sex alone! I am saying that it is not just one site or the other, it is the gay community as a whole.

I have dated and had sex with everything from Drag Queens to Chubs, Cubs, Bears, Jocks, and Muscled out men. I was a Master for 8 years and a boi for six years.

I don’t see people as there outward appearance, But see them as a Whole. having a limit is great but if you cannot even communicate about the limit, or stop even a simple talk then you have cut yourself off from learning about someone.

When you can’t even be bothered to say “Hello” when someone compliments you on something in your profile (Common Ground), or on your physique, a simple “Thank You” would be the appropriate social thing to do.

The comments about me fitting into any of these categories, and then responding to those who are feeling the same way, is my “Case in point” As a society we have come to the point of “Disconnected” and non-sociable in every aspect of “face to Face” meaning completely impersonal.

You are basing everything you know about a person on some checked boxes, when in reality there are people out there that could not only stimulate you Personally, Professionally, Sexually, And emotionally! Case in point making assumptions about why I wrote the blog!

When you put yourself into a box or others into a box you cut yourself off from exploring the opportunities of friendship, Networking, and most of all the possibility of something that could be great.

And for those of you that commented on “Change” to meet someone else’s expectations! This right here is the superficial statements I am talking about.

I was almost 400lbs at one point in my life, I was shunned from all walks, and was a beautiful person inside but no one could or would give me a chance. So I worked out, lost the weight, stopped smoking for a time, did the all that our superficial society wanted me to do. I went into the military and got “Buff” and motivated.

you know what it brought me? More of the same issues, and added to the fact that I was not happy with myself because I changed to meet “Criteria” I finally learned it is not the person on the outside but the person on the inside that matters for Friendship, Sex, and more.

For those that spoke about the clubs and the “Art” I agree, it is nice to go out and chat someone up, the stairs the glances, the smiles. Even if it didn’t work out, you made a connection on more then a “superficial” level.

I too miss the good ole days when things were a lot easier. Now we have preferences, yet I find those with the most preferences are still alone. Perhaps their preference don’t prefer them, IJS. As gay people, we need to deal in truth, not fantasy. The truth is there are no perfect guys. In fact, I have discovered those I choose to ignore or deem a turnoff are usually very good in bed. Those with experience have had the encounter of the guy with the pretty face but little dick or flat butt, or no sex skills. Likewise, most have experienced the ugly faced guy with the banging body, dick/butt, head, etc. In truth it is rare to find the perfect guy(beautiful face, body, dick/butt, sex skills, etc). If we are lucky, we get one or two of the things we desire the most. While looking for the perfect guy is ok, we should not limit ourselves to our preferences only. Open up and live a little, that’s all I’m saying.

I know I have my preferences, but I’m not gonna turn down a good time just because the guy doesn’t have the right eye color or night the right color of skin, whether the guy is pale white or golden bronze. It’s the guys personality and the fun we have together

Legion is forgetting the most important aspect of the site: SEX! A4A will NEVER and should NEVER be a traditional social media website like FaceBook, MySpace, or twitter, which have various identities and uses. The Primary use of this website to to HOOKUP!Creating friendships and just chatting is fun too on this site….BUT CRUISING is the No. 1 reason people use this site. I have been attracted to guys who were not attracted to me and vice versa. The point is to move on to the next attraction.Just like in a bar or club. Limits are not just physical but mental/emotional as well. It is what it is!

“drug and diease free”

This is the phrase that makes no sense to me. I understand the limitations people have, this one makes no sense to me because not everyine is going to disclose their status. Even if they post their status, it is not a guarantee of truth. I am 40 yrs (I don’t look it), HIV+ (undetectable), and black that doesn’t disclose my status. I do not have any limitations, but I do have preferences. I feel that if you should meet someone, that should be the time to tell your status. We limit ourselves when we place limitations

Nice, my post was deleted, nice to see that when screaming about DIVERSITY, you won’t let others have it, and fit into your own little boxes, when it doesn’t agree with you. Bitter grapes. After reading these responses, there is a lot of hypocrisy, many of you agree, and then state your own personal list of likes and dislkes, and stating them as being “obvious” (to whom) so what’s the difference? You are the ones perpetuating labels, and narrow rigid fields, and none ot is exclusive to any “community”, or sub group, within a sub-group. Some people just don’t want to have sex with you, and for good reasons, and they aren’t your business.

In other words you don’t like the preference list and you only want the easy laid. You’re in luck there’s plenty of that in Craigslist and any incomplete profiles with no face shot and blank HIV status in all the so called hookup sites. Who says that’s is not your preference? Even if I’m not religious I still pray for your future of good health and sanity.

I can understand to a degree some people having preferences, I have just a couple myself. I don’t want someone old enough to be my dad and I don’t like smokers or fat guys. I workout and I don’t want some guy that’s going to tire out and smells or taste nasty, I’m a freak and quite frankly the only smell I want off a guy is the smell of hot sex, that’s all. I don’t want some nasty bummy guy that smells of Pyramid cigarettes and shit to be banging me especially if he expects me to suck his dick, just saying. Otherwise I just want a fat long cock to pound me, also there’s nothing wrong with wanting a guy to be ddf and safe.

I’ve been amazed by the menu items for quite some time. Profiles are meant to inform but few read. I love it when a guy says no one over 35 and they hit me up. I have in the past said very hot,nice but alas im over 35. Their reply oh your ok. Lol and im very endowed dont get me started on that one.

Wow! I think everyone has a right to feel and say what fits them.It lets you know who they are .IfI read a guy with a lot of things he doesn’t like in his profile instead of what he likes (I don’t put any preferences in my profile except that I think chemistry builds when people share interests)it’s a negative way to sell yourself but I don’t have a problem with it.I let people be themselves.If a guy is rude to the waiter then I know what I need to know about him :I wont prepare him by saying”Oh and make sure you are polite to the waiter!The quicker you find out who people are or are trying to be the better.I read at least 35 or 40 of these replies because i know how people feel and I love to get feedback on the zeitgeist(that’s why I take my dates to movies to see how they think).It hurts when someone is rude in their profile to minorities like asians or over 40 but we gay people are just being stupid and human.It’s not just gay en all people act exclusionary.We all know a blowjob is better if the guy is hot so I disagree that a4a is only for sex-I love chatting with other gay men even if I have no intention of meeting.I dont use facebook or twitter or craigslist so maybe Im missing out on potential dates but I say let people be who they are .If they start pretending to be politically correct it will just take longer to discover their true colors.