Speak Out : 22 Year’s Old Poz Member

Raul

I have been POS for over 15 years. I to, have been frustrated by so many not having a clue to what POS is.
Ten years ago life took some strange paths. HIV has been a good thing in my life, it made me slow down, made me think of what I am doing.
I have recently returned to school, at 55 years young. I am impressed with your ability to find out what is important and incorporate into your life. We are more that what so much of the Gay community can realize.
The only thing we have in life, is this one moment. HIV taught me to live this moment and to savor every smile.
Peace….

You’re my hero Raul.

So why does RaulGM list his status as negative on his profile if he’s been through all this and learned all this?

So glad that Raul has come to accept the fact of realism here. We’re so so blessed to have as much needed help, guidance in today’s world here. Very grateful we can now, live normal lives as we go from day to day, take care of ourselves, help others to cope as they too have found out their results. Been poz for 8 years (undectable) and it’s unlike I’ve ever known here. Grateful to know, it’s not a “death sentence” anymore. Have seen so so many friends pass along the ways poz and supposedly “healthy” even they go before we do now. Food for thought here everyone, listened to a minister in church tell the congregagtion, “it’s not always the leaning tree that falls first” and that thought has stucked to my mind, life from that day forward. We just need to be strong, remain optimistic about life, help others around us, and to never ever look down unless we’re picking them up.

I am HIV person … Begin living in HIV pos is not easy of a lot of things . Very expensive cost for treatment and made me run out my own pocket money . Then I applied for council help is not easy too . They asking and prove too much privates Infomations and alot hassle . I am from San Jose California

Whenever I see the word “pig” in a profile it’s almost always followed by the word “poz.” Why is that?

Very interesting story. Raul is very brave to share his story so publicly. It is quite troubling, though, that on his a4a profile he claims to be HIV negative. Despite his words, Raul is still acting in a way that perpetuates the stigma that exists around our disease. (It is also illegal for an HIV+ person to have sex with someone in Illinois without disclosing his status.)

Well I think it’s great he has the courage to tell his story here, that’s fantastic. It would be nice if this honesty was applied to his profile. He says he’s negative on his profile. I’m very open to hooking up with poz guys (I’m neg), but you should be honest about it. Lying about your satus is really deceptive, people deserve to make decisions about their health based off of accurate information. If you lie or hide information like that, then we can’t make informed decisions. Yeah, some people won’t hook up with you if you’re poz, but that’s their choice and they deserve to know the truth about your status. If you both are going to risk their health, they’re entitled to know they’re risking it. Especially if one party knows. You seem to be quite comfortable with being poz, so you should be honest about it here, especially now that you’ve announced it on a blog.

Interesting that “raulgm” is forthcoming on this blog, and this link to his blog, yet his actual A4A profile lists him as HIV “negative”.

I find it strange you talk so openly about your infection but feel the need to hide it on your profile..?

I just wanted to say that it is so wonderful how open you are about being HIV+. Your story really touched me and I wish you a future filled with Health, Happiness and Prosperity because you are a persom Raul who really deserves it. Much Love Always………Ed

I have said this several times and will say it again. I do not know why anything goes is an option here. if you are really interested in helping the community you will make people pledge to not do bb for joining the site and not act like anything goes is an option. it can not change behavior of irresponsible people who forget that the meds are 40 – 50 dollars A PILL ( and that is hoping you have a strain of the virus that is treatable and you do not have such bad side-effects you have to get disability) but at least it would be a start.

I think it is great that you have decided to do your best to help otheres as you were helped, and I think it was brave of you to talk about being poz. Not to take anything away from you but I had checked out your profile and noticed you have your status listed as negative. This is a common issue in our community, people either don’t know thier status and say they are neg or they do know and are dishonest about being poz. I can almost understand though, I have seen the way that some people react to/treat people who are positive and it hurts my heart. Just because someone is poz does not mean they are bad or dirty, the only difference between someone poz and someone neg is luck. You could be the most careful person in the world and always use protection, a condom could break and you could have hiv just like that. Things are getting better but this world can be hard for the LGBT community and the fact that people with hiv are treated so horribly by some of our own community really saddens me, we as a community should embrace our brothers and sisters with hiv and give them extra love and support.

Telling a group of people your poz and putting it in your profile is two different things. As long as you tell the person your going to have sex with, its just fine to list yourself as neg in your profile.
Leave the young man alone.

@ Jason maybe Raul doesn’t want to be rejected before someone gets to know the man behind the hiv status. Sometimes putting an open hiv status in your profile sets you up for public humiliation and categorized stereotyping that could effect his job; family life or any type of mormalcy in general. To me this story encourages through the eyes and experiences of an honest individual Raul in which I am emotionally inspired and physically challenged to be a better individual as my hero Raul!!!!

I hate to say it.. but in this day and age and all of the education we have about HIV/AIDS. I have no respect for anyone “careless” under the age of 40. MY generation got hit the hardest. I had several HUNDRED people DIE of AIDS due to lack of education and protection. We fought for that education, and protection. You dont know someone? then don’t fuck them without a condom! how hard is it to go to the free clinic TOGETHER and get tested before you go and have sex? No, I am not trying to rain on Raul’s 5 minutes here, but facts are facts. Be happy Raul because of the suffering of the young adults of the 80’s the treatments now bring a healthy life to you and not a death sentence.

Ok so I just read raul’s profile and I really just don’t get it you say you were infected due to your own carelessness. you want people to understand and not be scared, but I don’t see how anything has changed besides you use a condom for sex…… I have had a lot of friends die over the past 20 yrs from hiv and aids. When I am online I always see the same thing. pigs being pos wanting sex with no condoms people who are pos wanting sex sex sex. people who are infected don’t care about using condoms with other infected people not worrying that the virus can mutate or be doubly infected. I know someone who had been infected with 5 different strains of hiv. YES that’s right he was infected 5 different times for 5 different people do to not using a condom. he isn’t even 21 yet and what does he do for a living ??? he is a prostitute, WITH FIVE DIFFERENT STANDS OF HIV!!!! I completely understand that this is a hookup site but come on. If you really learned your lesson about being careless or being infected use a condom. stop sleeping around. how can you say your lonely when your profile says you just want to have fun and screw around. “looking for friends and fun”. There is an option that says relationship or dating you know. it doesn’t even look like raul wants a bfax or relationship just fun which is a danger to every hook up but did you ever consider that you would be happy to have someone to cam your own? Instead of being mad that guys dot want to hook up? You can’t fix the world if you can’t fix yourself.

Hey everybody, in his profile our friend Raul does call himself an “expository writer”; writing where the purpose is to inform, describe or explain. While his intententions may be noble; as a personal narrative, it sorta feels hollow. But then again, he may have just been lazy in updating his status. And ol’ boy has started a conversation, lol. Peace…

Hey my name is brandon and I am hiv poz and I am 27years old and I have been living with it since I was 19 years old and I have been an actives for my comunity every since I been poz.

This is kinda sad. Here a young man has found the courage to tell the world and his fellow gay community that he is HIV+ and all most of you are doing is criticize him for not changing his profile. Just think how hard this was for him to do. After dealing with all the mental pain and suffering that this disease brings to a person, he is trying to find some compassion from us, a friendly voice telling him that everything is going to be alright, a shoulder to lean against when the weight of this is too much for him to bare. Is everyone here so honest about the information on our profiles. I think not. In order for Raul to heal, he has to take little steps, and this was one of them. How can we as a community ever evolve from the closests and the shadows if we are afraid to tell our own brothers. I find a ray of hope in what Raul did and have to thank him for his courage. I was not trying to speak down to anyone who criticized Raul. Please, that is the furthest thing from what I indeeded here. My heart went out to him when I read his story and like the big Shinning White Knight I am, I came to his rescue. But the truth is, he doesn’t need it, he has found peace within himself and nothing anyone says or do can change that. I am getting off my soap box now, but before I do, I want to leave you with one thought. Put yourself, truely put yourself in his shoes and say “What would I do if this was me” .
Much peace and love

I am curious as to how people know this man’s profile and can read it on Adam4Adam? If he is negative on profile but is indeed positive, then that is indeed inappropriate. I have posted positive in my profile, and I sometimes get mean-spirited emails. One Person said “How dare you be in this room if you are HIV positive. You are a disgrace to yourself. I am blocking you.” That was an actually email. I thought that being honest about my status would have people thinking “He’s at least honest.” However, I feel that some people believe that I should never be with a man again.

I’ve read all the comments and one more about your profile stating you are HIV- would probably just be redundant but fuck it. I admire your decision to tell us your story but for God’s sake, please be honest about your status with any sex partners. Ultimately we all take a chance but we should also be able to make the choice!

Raul,

hang in there life is too short so everyone should enjoy what we have in this world. my best friend died back in 2006, damn doesnt seem that long ago, and he was positive. i always said i wouldnt date or play with anyone pos but within two years i had dated two different guys for months,at separate times. both of them were positive and it didnt bother me anymore. after my bff(CORY I MISS YOU) died educating myself about hiv really helped me and my ignorance of the disease. they only thing i missed while dating a + guy was swallowing a load ;)now to try to help out i am in the hiv vaccine study. i feel as if i can help one person out there atleast i did something.So raul, if people dont love you for who you are fuck em because there are people out there that will and does love you.

It is my choice not to sleep with someone who is knowingly positive. No one has the right to take that away from me with their lies. In fact, in many states…it is ILLEGAL to lie about that.

I am Gay and hate being gay. No, I’m not in denial. One thing I see wrong with gay men is the lack of education on this topic,I understand that we all make mistakes in life. But we also have to take responsibility for our own actions. Let me explain,if you are an individual that likes to meet random strangers for casual unprotected sex you can’t expect other results. This can happen to anyone,gay or straight. Respect yourself ,use protection every time and trust no one. If you don’t protect yourself, other people wont. Stay on a monogamous relationship and don’t Whore around!

your story and your profile are 2 different things pos on the blog neg on the profile, and if you are dishonest about it in your profile it makes me think that everyone on the site is poz, and lying about it. Call me crazy, however i would rather know straight out first, I would respect you more if you were honest from the beginning. I had a friend date a guy from here for 2 months, and before they had sex the guy told my friend, my friend dumped him, not because he WAS poz, but because he was dishonest about it from the beginning.

I apologize for the long post but here it goes….

I disagree with the poster that said that a pledge should be taken & anything goes etc shouldn’t even be an option. All that will do is encourage even more people to lie about their status. After all, they are already lying about their status, don’t you think they might lie about the pledge too?

Basically, you should presume that everyone is Poz. I remember a poster in the Dr’s office decades ago that said every time you have sex, its like you are having sex with everyone that person has had sex with (and everyone those people have had sex with….etc etc etc).

I always put “don’t know” in a profile status because almost no one really knows if they are neg or not. Even if you tested neg today, it can take up to 3 months for it to show up on the test. So unless you and your partner absolutely had no sexual contact with anyone else in those 3 months, you just don’t know.

As soon as I found out my status and contacted those I had been with in the previous 3 months, I updated my profiles to Poz. I didn’t do it 1st because I didn’t think that was something someone you’ve been with should discover while reading the web. It was one of the hardest things I have had to do, having those face-to-face conversations.

I know that some won’t even consider me because of it and that is ok with me. Their choice. I also take it an extra step and mention it at least once again when talking with someone before hooking up that I am Poz. It is amazing how many dont see it in the profile or ad.

I am sure many of us can relate to what raulgm described when they found out they were Poz. Feeling that your life was over etc. In my case it came as a complete shock to me as I hadn’t had contact with anyone in over 3 months and thought I was getting tested regularly. Turns out the HIV test box I was checking on my routine blood work forms was only the authorization for them to run the test…not that they actually ran it. When results came back and nothing was mentioned, I figured “no news is good news”. Found out later that if they run the test, they are required by law to let you know the results (law may be different in your state).

I think his story is 1 of courage. He is only human, and like all of us is flawed. Funny how so many dudes checked his profile & became critics. As if they don’t lie, and as if his lie has an impact on another’s responsibility. I’m 40 survived the late 80s n the 90s in NYC so yes I’m blessed to still b -. WE R ALL RESPONSIBLE FOR OUR OWN LIVES!! Regardless of what we read on a profile, see at a club, hear on a chatline, feel in a bathhouse, want at a sex party. You can indulge RESPONSIBLY. I’m a living witness to both the tragedies & triumphs of this life. Wld sum1s status affect your decision as to how you wld protect yourself??? If so then their lie/truth isn’t the issue YOU R!!

Ever known someone who was so magnetic they could pick up someone on an escalator?

Ed was that way. And he did. He once got laid in the men’s room near the bottom of the escalators at the mall. When he was going down, the stud was going up and then coming down to meet him.

It was 1989 and even though Nebraska was a couple steps behind embracing homosexuals as human beings. . . Iowa was a bit further back. And Ed’s family was from Iowa.

He was positive and trying to keep from having wasting syndrome. And he partied his buns off whenever he got the chance.

He was always honest, even before they implanted the shunt to feed his meds.

When his eyesight began to fail rapidly because of tumours forming in his brain, Ed took his old Buick out on a rural highway lined with pastures and floored it.

Ed never had AIDS. He never had HIV. He was never gay. He steered is car into a tree at 80 miles an hour so his family could say he died in a car crash.

Our society has changed since then. There are still stigmas.

Years ago there was a very effective campaign in the Czechoslovakia that showed couples of all persuasions. In each picture one of the people had a nose like Pinocchio. The caption said, “You can never tell who is lying. Always be safe.”

That is the message we need to perpetuate. We teach our children to drive defensively. We need to teach how to fuck defensively.

Let’s work toward that goal moreso than deriding each other.

I’ll get off my soap box. Thanks.

You know as someone else who was infected 13 years ago at 20, I know why his profile says neg. I want people to know me as a person first versus a tick of a box.
I always intiate the conversation before I even make plans to leave the house or give out my address.

Most guys still wanna fuck me bareback.

Most guys still wanna fuck me safe.

I have learned that when I put the poz up they literally glance over my profile. So will I put the poz up? probably not likely. Do I still tell 100% of the guys who I fuck? Absolutely.

What the fuck you gotta say about it?

Speaking as a POZ man, I know from experience that we in some ways are worse than the people that demonize us. I’ve had plenty of experiences of being shunned or treated badly by people because they were scared of HIV and still associate it with being something that only “bad” people catch.

I watched as a kid in his early 20s at Manhunt admitted he’d just tested positive and wanted everyone who’d been with him to get tested. The scorn and hatred that was heaped on him was incredible. I spoke up there to ask why all the hate unless these same guys were guilty of the risky sex practices that had zapped that kid? Then the hate came thundering in my direction.

I guess I touched a raw nerve there and that’s the crux of the problem — everyone seems to think it won’t happen to them and they don’t like treating sex partners like they might have it and use safer sex practices, then they react with such hypocrisy when something like that comes around.

Hey guys this amazing young man just told his story in being set up with the disease. If some of you go get tested you wouldn’t have neg by your name anymore either Quit with spiteful statements and applaud his courage…Well Done Raul!!!!

It’s a miracle! Someone contact the Vatican! Don’t believe me? Read the profile!

I can only assume that all of these critical and quite rude comments are from guys who at some point lied on their profiles, either with pics or weight or etc….regardless if someone wants to disclose their status or not its their decision and shouldn’t we as a gay community be more sensitive to our positive members… If they are brave enough to share their status with an online community maybe next time send a smile or a hello, you might be missing out on a great friend, its not always about sex people!

30 years pos, 15 years undetectible.

Many of the friends I’ve lost to AIDS gave up on life the day of diagnosis. They chose to burn out rather than fade away. Instead I chose to extract every ounce of joy out of every day of my life, while also planning for the future. Today I savor riding my Harley over decade old bridges. I remember wondering whether I would live to see their completion or not. To this day I get a special joy whenever long drawn out road building is finally completed. There have been so many other small victories in my life, that might have gone unnoticed otherwise. However if I could go back I would have insisted on using condoms.

My status is undisclosed on my profile because I have found that most men don’t read so it always must be addressed anyway. I disclose only once it seems a real time meeting is inevitable,(which is really rare due to my picky tastes in Men) and I never allow anyone into my personal space without disclosure.

Sadly many of you will have unprotected sex with others who are unaware of an infection aquired after their last negative test. Some will become infected by selfish, dishonest men who think more of their own needs than the health of others. This is why bareback sex outside of a comitted relationship is a deal breaker for me personally. I’ve seen so many profiles of pos guys that claim they are neg. It’s safest to treat everyone as if they could have anything.

My antique HIV mutation is easily kept undetectible and my meds have never failed because I take them on time religiously. I won’t bareback other pos guys because don’t want a mutated drug resistant update to my HIV. Nor do I want a handful of other STDs that can be easily absorbed through more ways than just entering the blood stream.

I’ve had a number of long term relationships in 30 years, and all of my exes, male and female are still HIV- today because safe sex works if proper protocols are adhered to. DDFree UB2 is not safe sex. It is a prescription for tragedy.

Raul I really like your positive attitude and the support that you received. I have been positive for over 28 years now and am still healthy. Attitude and support from family and friends is about 50% of the battle against HIV. Good luck to you keep up the fight.

Wow. Stay strong man! Many of these comments are written by ignorant and frightened assholes. HIV is something that affects EVERYONE. Poz or neg, we all need to practice compassion, honesty, and perseverance. No one is walking in another’s shoes so stop with all the judging guys. Assume everyone you have sex with is poz and quit being so frightened of living life. Start loving each other, educating ourselves, fight stigma, and believe in a world where we can and will find a cure for HIV.

i think the subject of HIV should be kept private and confidential.

If his status was not listed, that would be omission. Since he lists “negative” that’s just a complete lie. Sorry but what a douchebag. He’s done a huge disservice to all poz guys by writing this and then publicly lying.

great story…you got all my support. But to all you guys that keep focusing on his “Status” in his profile….he doesn’t have to put it there….its not mandatory…but it is mandatory for him to tell before he has sex…so lay off of him. The guy was just trying to share his story and its like 90% of the responses is like negative…..WTF?? Im poz as well…. hell I get hate mail telling me to drop dead…I should not be on here…or I go to just say hi and they block me instantly or have blocked me before I even tried to contact em….so I can see why he would choose to put neg in his profile…Its noones damn business anyway but his..and the person or group he chooses to have sex with…hell you guys that are going off on him ….lets all visit your profiles and see now inaccurate they are….how many of you guys are lying bout your age, build, etc, etc…..don’t preach bout honesty when your just as bad, if not worse…..its his fucking status guys…let him be…yes, we became poz, but its our status and its noone elses business …we choose who we give it too….and as long as we give it to the person we are about to have sex with…..thats all that matters….and as far as what “That Guy” said about sympathy and we pretty much deserve it……dude I got it from a needle stick at work…an accident…I wasnt aware of the coworker behind me and I wasnt exactly watching it….but I didnt deserve it…..so fuck you

hi guys iam same and was very hurt first time fount out , but life moves on and some drink to stop feeling bad they got hiv but its worse on you drinking alot, meds dont work as well,i get very sad not with any one cant find any one hurts being alone on holidays and one thing hurts haveing hiv family dont wount me around. its sad but in away i never told them who to be with why should they tell me.iam looking for a nice guy no games or drugs some one to do things together and be best friends maybe more.

I have several friends that are POS. I met a guy that is POS and I fell in love with him. I never treated him any different than anyone else. The sex was some of the best that I have ever had. But his mental state was just not good for me. 🙁 I love him and sure wish it could have been different.
My very first BF I had in High School died in 08′ from HIV he stopped taking his meds. I loved Brett so and will always love him, and miss him.
Good luck to all you guys with HIV.

Interesting post, nonetheless. It is difficult for me to feel sympathetic when we all know the risks of unsafe sex.

My best to you, Raul. I am sure this has been a difficult journey and I hope you continue to thrive and grow.

I love what he said!

You know yesterday it really hit me how nasty people can be about it…At the bar, being rejected right off the bat b/c my a4a status has been poz for a year and a half–I have been poz for three years….I was sick of the having to tell someone I like that I had it, and was done with the heartache when I thought they’d be okay with it, and they weren’t at all and/or freak out on me when I didn’t tell them and we were 100 percent safe and then later find out their negative. I was done with that….so I did it. I’ve gotten a lot of positive feedback from it (and i’m really greatful for that), but man, guys can be really hurtful, and a part of me regrets listing my status, so I can see why a lot of poz guys don’t list it, but it’s also potentially dangerous if you “forget” to tell someone. I honest don’t trust myself…that’s why I have it there. I have to go to work soon, and I wanted to post about this quick so sorry if this seems scatter-brained.

I’m amazed by the way Raul shared his story. I thank people like Andrew who helped make a difference in Raul’s life… The snowball effect just started by Raul sharing his story and given everyone a positive outlook. I love being a counselor… Especially after reading Raul’s story.

I’m 22 and poz as well. It’s so awesome to know that people like you exist.

First, thank you Raul for writing and sharing your story. You seem to be at peace with who you are despite all the haters. I’m happy for you.

Second, I have read all the comments and it amazed me how many were negative instead of supportive. For many years I have observed that the gay community is it’s own worst enemy. We parade around demanding “equal rights” from the rest of the world, while openly hating and despising subsets of our own community. How can we expect the “straight” world to accept us if we can’t even accept ourselves? Whether it’s the drag queens or the dykes or the HIV positive, it doesn’t matter. Hate is hate. Why can’t we practice what we claim to believe and truly, openly embrace and love everyone?

As I read the comments, two stuck out to me as being such incredibly incorrect thinking – the kind of thinking that leads to hate and stigmatism associated with HIV: ‘Whateva’ said, “And sorry, but if men can’t be honest in an anonymous profile I really have my doubts that they’re going to suddenly become honest when the clothes start to come off.” These profiles are NOT anonymous. When you live in a smaller community, as I do, you KNOW everyone who is online in your town and everyone knows you. And do you think that only gay men will see these profiles? I know for a fact that many gay guys show profiles to their straight friends, especially with the advent of mobile dating apps on iPhone and Android. So, NO, they are not anonymous and can easily be seen by anyone gay or straight, male or female. As an HIV positive man in a small community, I want to avoid unnecessary stigma and discrimination, therefore I choose to leave the HIV status blank on my online profiles. That does not make me a dishonest person, it makes me cautious. Disclosing HIV status SHOULD simply be about sex, but as we well know , it transcends into every aspect of social life as well. I choose NOT to be defined by my HIV status. However, when it comes to having sex, I am always honest, which leads me to the second glaringly wrong statement I noticed.

‘Zack’ said, “HIV+ ppl are right that they will probably not find love or sex if they reveal their status. Your status means you’ll prob run out and sleep with another man behind my back.” First, that is just down right mean and hateful to say that anyone is unworthy of love. Second, what does a man’s HIV status have to do with his character? You obviously believe that all positive men are inherently liars and cheaters. We are all individuals. Our character and conduct is not determined by our HIV status. You, Zack, are exactly the kind of person who perpetuates hate, bigotry, lies and discrimination. You and people like you are the biggest problem we face as a community – yeah a much bigger problem that even HIV. As a man who has HIV, I am not ashamed of my status and when I tell potential sex partners, most are nice about it even if they decline. They appreciate the honesty. I have plenty of sex with both poz and neg men. I love sex. Sex is not the enemy. Lies and hate are the enemy. As for finding love, my life is so full of love, I couldn’t ask for more, so you are wholly wrong on both accounts. Poz men can indeed find both love and sex and sometimes, both at the same time!

To all who are HIV+, don’t be discouraged by the haters. There is plenty of love in this world. I know it’s hard to find sometimes, but I promise you it’s there. And in my case, the greatest love I’ve ever known came from a man who is HIV-.

To everyone, can we please be kind in our words and actions? Can we let love be our guide?

Thanks for listening,

Jonathan

Great story, I going thru the same situation , but Im really lucky to have a great Doctor witch he is more than that he is a great friend an has help me a lot, Im front About my status and something to have learn to do, bcs it was a hard thing to do at first. I have found guys that are educated about it and there are always that ones that are not, they won’t even want to talk to you it doesn’t bother me anymore like it used to , have to keep your head up no matter what!

I like JackFL’s comments. I think it’s very admirable to see a man say No to risky behaviour and protect his health on a daily basis! I don’t think it’s respectable for a man with regrets to tell others not to follow in his footsteps.

Hey Mister Dave, I’m far from perfect, I’m just tired of seeing profiles of young guys in their early twenties who are still being sexually careless and thus subjecting themselves to a life-time of doctors visits and costly medications. Instead of implying that HIV is not so bad if you get it, or everything will be okay because HIV is no longer a death sentence, why not provide more and frequent messages on HIV prevention, as well as messages that reinforce the dangers of bareback sex. In any given room on A4A I see more and more guys who are young, hung and now poz, and some of these guys have even hit me up and they’re shocked and surprised that I don’t want to knowingly fuck a poz guy.

I am 45 yrs old i’m sorry to ramble but here is my HIV story. I was diagnosed with HIV in 2010. During 2006 I took 2 HIV tests they were negative. I had aways tested negative. I never had “unsafe sex”I have never been in a relationship…i never had willing penetrative sex with another man. I thought getting my dick sucked was safe…I would frequent adult bookstores a couple times a month to get sucked off on my way home from work. a couple times guys would trick me and substitute their ass for their mouth but i would sense the difference and pull out .this happened a couple of times between 2007 and 2008. Late in 2007 i started getting sore throats all the time…and stomach pains accompanied by severe headaches…my doctor told me it was just a sinus infection. But it kept recurring every few months and the sore throats made it hard to swallow…plus i started geting a white coating on my tongue. Then in October 2008 i got a itchy rash on the top half of my body and a red rash on my right leg..it only lasted a few days. I knew something was wrong. I went to my regular doctor he told me not to worry it was nothing. I knew he was wrong and i went to another doctor. it seemed no doctor wanted to suggest HIV. I went to a third doctor who went through tons of tests but still would beat around the bush thinking it was HIV. He took some blood tests and told me he thought i had a form of blood cancer called Multiple Myeloma…he sent me to a cancer specialist. the cancer speciaist asked me a few questions and asked had i been tested for HIV, i said ” yeah about a year and a half ago i was negative.”She then took some blood and gave me a follow up date. I came back and with not to much emotion she said. ” You don’t have cancer- did you know you are HIV positive?” I said “no”. She said didn’t doctor #$$%% tell you? I said he told me to see you….Then she gave me a few numbers to call and said she doesn’t handle HIV and told me to take my file to the front desk..and that was that…I went to my car and couldn’t believe it..i knew something was wrong and i finally knew but it was not fair..I don’t smoke or drink or take any drugs….i avoided anal sex for just that reason and somebody gave this to me on purpose. i felt violated and stupid at the same time it was my fault messing around in bookstores. I wanted to kill myself.. for some reason i immediately caled my mother. I told her everything.. I was gay and I had HIV…she didn’t even know i was gay…i apologized for being stupid and letting everyone down, i should have been smarter. Surprisingly she said no problem i love you and want you to get better . she said what was done is done, she talked me out of doing something bad to myself and told me nothing coud make her not love me to give her more credit than that.She told me she had uterine cancer and didn’t tell me because she didn’t want me to worry but she is going through treatment and hopefully she would get better and she wanted me to get treatment.What happened next was crazy when i went to find out about treatment…i walked into the clinic they confirmed i had HIV..and then i got hit on by the HIV counselor who told me i was cute and wanted to have sex with me right in the office…i was so out of it i couldn’t believe what was happening… i left and didn’t come back until they called me and tod me not only was I HIV poz but that I had fullblown AIDS because i had so few CD4 cells …..

It is for us to judge Raul for lying in his profile about his status BECAUSE he put himself out there as an example.

If we were just “picking” on a random guy on here, that would be one thing, but since Raul decided to hold himself up as an example, it stands to reason that he should be honest in his profile.

And to those of you who say “he hasnt changed it because he’s only been Poz for a year”, I say this, “Oh yes I forgot, you arent infectious until after 365 days after your infection, so yeah, um you dont have to disclose if its within a year of your test.”

Morons.

U no iv learned a whole lot bout me the bastard that gave it to me I don’t no who, i was very free wit having sex with any one, an through it all it has taught me the cutie an the badiest dude in the club is not all ways the answer,they to are looking just like me an they are usualy the one,trying to live a double life so with with this being said please state your stats weather u put it on a4a or just tell your partner for me I don’t post it but wen I do tell partner most times they don’t care we just wrap it up an be safe just be honest we are trying to stop the spread of HIV.Aids

I am also POS but my status does not show my status, neither POS or NEG. Why? Because my POS (or NEG) status does NOT define who I am, that’s why.