Dating: Four Tips When Dating A Bi Guy
Adam4Adam prides itself on being an inclusive online space, and everyone is welcome here whether they’re on the G, B, or T of the sexual orientation spectrum. We’re all just guys looking for Mr. Right or Mr. Right Now, after all.
But depending on which letter of G, B, T, or Q you are, there may be some things your partner has to keep in mind when going out with you. Bisexuals, in particular, may often find themselves misunderstood or being the object of some preconceived notions.
If it’s your first time dating a bisexual guy, here are four things to keep in mind so you can keep that relationship going smoothly.
1. It may take some time before they open up about being bisexual
This is something you can’t really blame them for, because some of you may have probably taken part in stereotyping bisexual men before. Even mainstream media takes part in it. Sex and the City’s Carrie Bradshaw infamously said in one episode that she’s “not even sure bisexuality exists,” adding that she thinks it’s only “a layover on the way to Gay Town.” Honestly, how can you open up about yourself when you’re pre-judged like this?
2. You will probably have to deal with BS from other people when dating a bi guy
This is connected to number one. Sure, you may not be prejudiced against dating bi guys, but that doesn’t mean the people around you won’t be. If you introduce him to your friends, be prepared for some frustrating statements like “Isn’t he just gay if he’s going out with a guy?” Or “But what if girls are what he really wants?”
3. Bisexual doesn’t automatically mean polyamorous
Just because your guy has been with both men and women, it doesn’t mean he’s always going to be looking for another partner, especially when he’s in a monogamous relationship with you. It doesn’t also mean that he wants to be in a relationship with both genders, at the same time. Some bisexuals might be polyamorous, but it doesn’t mean all of them are.
4. Don’t worry about the kind of porn they watch
You may be the type of guy who only gets turned on by gay porn, while your partner may be into gay porn, straight porn, and bisexual porn. If he’s into straight porn at the moment, it doesn’t mean he’s going to be leaving you for a woman. There are just more things that turn him on compared to you. Just keep in mind that one of the things that turn him on is you.
These are just some of the things to keep in mind when you’re going out with a bisexual guy. Any Adam4Adam blog readers who’ve gone out or had relationships with bisexual guys? Even better, any bisexual Adam4Adam blog readers? Any advice you’d like to give when it comes to dating bi guys? Share it with us in the comments section below!
Also make sure to update your profile on Adam4Adam app or website as we have a new section in the edit profile page where you can identify your “Sexual Orientation”. Your options are gay, bisexual or straight curious. This is also directly related to the search/filters feature, users can now search for you by sexual orientation, so make sure to update that info in your profile today to come up in searches. Please also review your profile as we added other new categories too. Thanks guys!
I am 100% gay and like the fantasy of being sexually involved with a masculine bi guy. But one thing I have learned through experience is that bi guys are experimenting with men because they want to explore their passive or feminine side. They already have their active or masculine side with their women. So don’t assume that all bi guys are going to be the masculine jock type!
I am bi and very proud to love everyone without regard to gender or sex because I know that now is the time for me to help you out with any further details regarding your thoughts on my situation. Please let us know if there are many more people who may have a learning experience with this issue. I hope to see if I can find something that works for me as a great fit and a great experience for me to be a great asset for you.
What you should have brought up is that they carry the risk of female-carried stds like chlamydia, yeast infections and other shit from vaginas. They may also actively have a girlfriend they are not telling you about. I just had this experience with a bi guy, whose Fbook profile says he’s in a relationship. Well, he didn’t tell me he was.
I think being bi also affects their interest in anal intercourse. I believe they want to top and bottom much more because they are used to fucking. I also believe they are better at cocksucking because they worship their own cock, and therefore other’s.
It’s true that men can contract yeast infections — a fact that’s not widely known. But I’m not aware of any evidence that you’re more likely to get chlamydia from a guy who also has sex with women. And what “other shit” do you mean?
A good article representing us as Bi men, as a bi 27 year old, alot of ppl think bisexuality is a phase and u HAVE to choose either guys or girls, or being asked who r u more attracted to? its annoying and leaving us in a runt to just lie and not say we are BI, thats why I liked what you said “It may take some time before they open up about being bisexual”. I’ve happily dated bi men.
I think biphobia really is deeply rooted bi-jealousy, that some guys think they’ll miss out on a potential relationship with a man because he also has the capacity to fall in love with a woman, and likes vagina as much as penis. And because of this jealousy, they should treat it as denial, a phase, something he’ll get over eventually. That’s severely unfair.
The social culture built up around gay males (and also lesbians?) can often be as starkly absolutist as some antigay rhetoric I’ve seen: you’re either exactly one of us, or you’re not, and you can change, or it’s just a matter of time before you realize the truth. Love Won Out and Exodus International lived by this decree.
Many people do have the ability to go for both sets of organs and everything about the person they’re attached to. Many people only go for one set. Both are legitimate sexualities that have no reason to be altered. Bi people are no less human than heteros or homos or anyone else. Who they’re attracted to should never be taken as a threat.
People of all sexualities who want to be in a relationship will strive for it no matter who they end up with. Homos, heteros, trans, and everyone else can have long, fulfilled relationships with bis, secure in the knowledge that both are faithful to each other and wouldn’t (and couldn’t) change for anyone.
The 13 things we are tired hearing constantly are “1/ Bisexuals don’t exist, 2/ Bisexuals are just going through a phase, 3/Bisexuals are sexually greedy, 4/Bisexuals are cheaters, 5/All bisexuals are polyamorous, 6/Bisexuals are scared of commitment, 7/All women are bisexual, 8/Bisexuals are attracted to anything that moves, 9/Bisexuals are only attracted to binary genders, 10/Bisexuals spread HIV, 11/Bisexuals live for threesomes, 12/Bi erasure is a myth, 13/ Bisexuals are a small community”
Yeah I heard the #8 a lot!
Take it from one who’s been pilloried by the übergay community since before the pandemic….gay men, as a group, HATE us bisexusls. All the items in your list are the fake reality of the übergay world, all based upon slanderous prejudice and übergay “bi jealousy.” The reality is that most bi men are 1.) more successful in careers. 2.) tend to form monogamous relationships a lot easier and are less likely to cheat, 3.) are in general more HIV aware and base their actions more on fact than the stupid rumors and denials that killed so many übergays in the ’80s and ’90s, 3.) are better equipped at handing polyamory than are übergays, 4.) are NOT sluts! (The übergays have held that distinction, as has been clinically proven in HIV/AIDS data since 1979) 5.) and aren’t pathologcal liars.
On the bedroom side, bi guys are FAR better tops and make passionate bottoms…but rarely are “verse,” as are their übergay counterparts. Get a bi guy on top of me, I’ll know in a few seconds if he really is one….different dynamic entirely.
Seems like you are anti-gay, open up and calm down with your hate towards gays. Oh, we’re not ubergay, just gay. Are you uberbi? wtf
Bi’s are more successful in their careers? Really. . . you’ve read a study on this . . . or just making it up as you go along. And “ubergays”? Wow. Stop the hate.
@Dave us Bi’s r just fed up of the one sideness and being told we don’t exist thats all so i can understand “BIOHBIASUX” anger but being hateful to others is no reason for the behavior, all i gata say is educate others and help them understand, open minded individuals will understand, after all not too long ago being gay or bi was considered a mental disorder now look how far we have come.
Ive learned give them space, don’t ask too many questions about their bi sexuality, don’t put pressure for more intimacy or their time. the more comfortable they get the more they talk, the more YOU learn. anal is different from regular intercourse don’t be too critical praise is good
Think FWB fits the best.
Dating advice? DON’T! I personally feel it is double the trouble. You have to worry about them sleeping with either men or women, but also the question is whether or not they are affectionate towards the man (especially after an orgasm). Another factor to consider is knowing who they feel more comfortable around. Do they see themselves as a father, with a wife and kids? or do they have that metro sexual twist personality that makes them feel open to being a double father marriage. Relationships these days are not taken seriously as I find many couples in open-relationships. I often wonder if I will ever find a man that I am more sexually compatible with, because I was stuck in a 7 year mutually faithful (i believe he was too), relationship where our sex lives suffered greatly. That was more my fault but not fully. Bisexuals have more options and a higher probability of ‘finding a lover’, which is why I hate reading and viewing cute guy profiles as there mostly all in open relationships. I don”t understand how people can feel comfortable sharing someone you subconsciously feel possessive of, but maybe open-relationship-types are able to shut that feeling off. Why not, you can search all day and hookup after work, bare back before going home to your ‘husband’. You can have your cake and eat it too, but what is left for that special bond? Just kissing and a place to live or someone to claim as a home base ‘husband’? If a bi guy is a bottom, then he could easily get all of his fixes (or just about…) from a women, though I don’t understand transsexuals and engaging in sex as a female or when one is a female. It is pretty confusing from someone not into that taboo behavior. To each their own. Bisexuals tend to be rather peculiar as I find most emo, Gothic, pan sexual or a closeted jock types I also find many lesbians to be bisexual, unless they are man like ; my conclusion is based on girl’s socially call friends- girlfriends, hold hands or take close-knit photos, bathroom breaks ect with one another. It’s an unfortunate double standard if you ask me. I also appreciate boobs and tits on a girl and watching heterosexual porn is very hot. It has the right mix of erotic images. ‘Straight guys love bisexual girls but hate queers.” Could I be bi, well although I may live under the roof of a woman to raise kids and be a family setting for the image of God and church, maybe..but that’s a fraud, or a closeted fear of the lord person. I feel that is how I would have an open relationship. But that is equal to having a partner who is not completely your type, but you kind of need them for half the rent or emotional support. All in all, people are awesome and another person’s life is really not my business, which is why i am starting to hate sharing my opinions.
Take it from one who’s been pilloried by the übergay community since before the pandemic….gay men, as a group, HATE us bisexuals. All the items in your list are the fake reality of the übergay world, all based upon slanderous prejudice and übergay “bi jealousy.”
The reality I’ve learned is that most bi men are 1.) more successful in careers. 2.) tend to form monogamous relationships a lot easier and are less likely to cheat with another man, 3.) are in general more HIV aware and base their actions more on fact than the stupid rumors and denials that killed so many übergays in the ’80s and ’90s, 3.) are better equipped at handing polyamory than are übergays, 4.) are NOT sluts! (The übergays have held that distinction, as has been clinically proven in HIV/AIDS data since 1979) 5.) and aren’t pathologcal liars.
On the bedroom side, bi guys are FAR better tops and make passionate bottoms…but rarely are “verse,” as are their übergay counterparts. Get a bi guy on top of me, I’ll know in a few seconds if he really is one….different dynamic entirely.
i date a bi closet guy it was terrible I had to sneak around with him and he threatened me not to tell anyone one or else he would kill me,i knew he wouldn’t kill me so I told ppl. anyway when he found out he deny it and beat me up.that was the end of bi-closet men for me.
You’re gay and you outed a closeted guy? Why the hell would you do that? You should understand the betrayal of being outed or having someone do that to you, whether you experienced it or not. You are a terrible person.
Wow! Sex is becoming way too complicated.
I am a married man that doesn’t see myself as bi or gay but love to give oral sex to guys and she knows this .I don’t see the need for all the labels given it’s just what some want to do
As a married male, Bi is bullshit! I am a gay male who is bi-sexual but psychologically, I am gay. The Bi routine dates back to a time when a male was considered more of a catch if he slept with women, too.
Bi is played out just as ‘butch’ is played out. The desirability of Bi is antiquated; it is of an older generation when a real man slept with a female and a lesser male slept with a male; the Bi routine was a bridge between the two extremes and was seen as a male who had saving grace by …”at least, he does sleep with women.”
Skip the Bi routine… . it has no real meaning anymore.
Dude your opinion is for u man, to be honest there are actual guys like myself who are very attracted to both men and women so don’t come forcing your way on others, i met a older gay guy we kissed and chatted and he started to force his way of life on me telling me bisexuality doesn’t exist and that i’m 100% gay its just a matter of time to accept it, but every time i look at a woman and i am attracted to her my cock shifts and i feel for her, yet his 54 year old self who was in a relationship with a guy for 14 years is single and miserable, misery loves company and i don’t want it.
aren’t bisexuals just married men living double lives?
I agree with Carrie Bradshaw that bi is a layover to gay town. A bi guy I once dated told me he would eventually want to be with a woman. That ended that. Maybe he did. However, at this point in my life, I’m comfortable with myself and my homophobic mother knows.
For me, I’ve learned from personal experience to take bi guys with a grain of salt. They are very wishy washy, flakey, abs shady. They always have something to hide, even if it doesn’t seem that way. I’ve had some nice chats, met with, and even semi dated bi guys only for them to up and ghost me, or block out of nowhere. This is a common theme with bi guys. I see so many articles about how bi guys don’t get taken seriously, and how their feelings, and voices matter, etc. but I don’t understand why they act the way they act. The stigma against them comes from their actions…..Stop being shady, stop lying about having a wife, GF, or whatever, stop telling gay guys hurtful and rude things like, “I just fuck guys, I’ll never date one.” Or “I’m not into kissing guys only girls.” Stop getting involved with someone then running away when things start to get more serious. Bi guys are so much drama. I feel like you need to have your seatbelt ready if you decide to get involved with one.
Being a Bi man since I was a teenager and learning about sex and sexuality I came to the conclusion that sex is just that Sex.
Before the GRAND movement of putting labels on a person.
It didn’t matter and still doesn’t matter Wich side of the fence I would fall into .
We are all bi, or at least 99 percent of the population given the opportunity.
We all see a guy and think he’s attractive
or a gal that is attractive, I Have had GAY men ask if I knew of any women who might join us, and Straight women who thought it’d be hot to be with 2 bi guys.
who we enjoy spending our time with is a preference.
I’ve lived with men and women .
Have sex with both and can honestly say I love both.
To stereotype Bi ,Gay or Straight is total crap in my opinion .
It’s a preference.
Like the old joke goes – Being bi just makes it easier to find a date for Saturday night !
All in all, We were put on this planet to Love one another so let’s just do that!!
There are things acceptable for females that aren’t acceptable for males. Bisexuality is for girls. Why do bi guys run around claiming their more masculine because of their orientation? Beats me.