Sexuality : How to Be a Healthy Bottom
Whether you always bottom, or just sometimes, it’s important to know about your options.
Starting Out
The anus is full of sensitive nerve endings that can feel really good when stimulated (say, by a penis). Also, the prostate gland, located in the anus, is sensitive and can be stimulated by a penis (or a finger, or multiple fingers).
Lube is great and really helps you feel good—and prevents injuries.
Having a Good Time with Someone Else
There is no right way to bottom—figure out what you like.
Some pointers:
Don’t shave right before having anal sex. Try to do any grooming at least a day before having sex— shaving can cause tears that can make sex uncomfortable and increase your risk of getting an infection.
Take your time. Breathe.
Fingering can be a great way to get started.
Tips for Staying Clean
Poop is a fact of life—everyone poops! Don’t let anyone make you feel bad if you are bottoming and an accident happens. That said, there are things you can do to keep the chances of messy sex down:
- Poop at least an hour before bottoming.
- Clean your anus thoroughly with toilet paper and/or wipes. If you can, take a shower or bath and clean the area with water. Don’t use soap; it can irritate.
- If you need to, you can check with your fingers if there is poop in your anus. Just make sure to wash your hands afterward.
- Ideally, don’t douche using chemical products.
Staying Safer
- Condoms are very effective at protecting you and your partner(s) from STDs and HIV. Condoms AND lube are even better. The wetter, the better. Water or silicone-based lube can protect against tears. Saliva, as an alternative to lube, is a no-go because saliva increases risk for gonorrhea. Also, frequent enemas can cause small tears. Tears can increase your risk of STD infection and HIV.
- You can try “female” condoms, too. Check out this video.
- PrEP reduces your chances of catching HIV. Keep in mind that PrEP does not protect you from chlamydia, gonorrhea, and syphilis. You can use this website to find doctors prescribing PrEP nearest you.
- Get tested regularly for HIV and other STDs. This website provides nearby testing locations and is searchable by zip code.
- If you are worried you have been exposed to HIV, ask your doctor for PEP (post-exposure prophylaxis) . If you take this drug within 72 hours of having sex, you can reduce your risk of HIV infection. The sooner you take it after you think you’ve been exposed, the better.
Check out this post from TheBody.com for more info on having a great time being a bottom.
We want to hear from you. Is this helpful advice? What do you do in building confidence as a bottom? Do you top and bottom rather seamlessly?
Stephen Hicks
Health Equity & Capacity Building Manager, NCSD
Shouldn’t there be a mention of taking fiber? Or at the very least, upping the fiber one has in their diet?
Advice? It sounds kind of gross but the best advice I eve got was to try to “poop” the penis out when bottoming. Totally worked after that.
Washing with water won’t remove bacteria. Parasites are a serious risk. Water-based lubes don’t last, silicone seems much better, and there are natural possibilities like ripe mashed bananas to consider. Polyurethane condoms would allow any lube, and oil based are best, but where can you find them? I don’t bottom, so I’m no expert, but barebacking doesn’t make sense. If the partner can’t get a condom on, then a so-called female condom makes sense, or one of those fuckable orifice devices. Tearing seems inevitable, and if one has any hemorroidal issues, well, that’s scary. That’s why I won’t do it, not without a marriage license, so I know my partner will take responsibility.
Take a poop at least one hour before bottoming?……..there is more to it than a quick poop. Don’t use soap to clean your anus?………it takes more than water, soap is a must.
PEP: Didn’t know about this, thanks for sharing.
I think the discussion of cleaning the asshole and/or rectum before fucking is very important and for some reason mostly avoided.
The gay porn industry has done an incredible job at influencing gay culture in the way we want have and enjoy sex. In one way it’s good, gives us more creative ideas about having good sex. In another way it’s ruined our ideals about what good sex is.
Rimming for instance and any type of anal penetration is seen as normal and almost expected during sex. In the porn movies it’s all so sexy and very clean. Guys just sticking their tongue, fingers and cocks inside some guys ass and there’s no indication what so ever that shit may be in the asshole or maybe the residue of shit which would cause a bad smell. It’s all so clean sexy and glamorous.
The reality is the actors who are bottoms or bottoming have done major douching and deep enema cleaning of their lower intestines before any filming takes place.
And what about accidents on the set of a porn film. Some bottom who thought they cleaned out enough and in the middle of filming an intence fuck scene he has a shitty soup fly out of his ass right on the camera man, the camera and the tops cock, thighs and pubic hair.
Thorough cleaning out for me is an absolute necessity as a bottom. I’ve had no heath problems because of it and I would never get fucked unless I was completely cleaned out. It’s a tricky process, but each bottom must learn what works best for them individually.
so true Darrell ive made a mess during some intense fucking and have had a guy make a mess, whats nasty is a guy that DON’T even try to clean out. and i have had that happen. i met a virgin we talked before we got naked i explained and showed him how to clean out let him use my CLEAN STREAM unit he did great and we had a great time so much so he kept coming back for 2 yrs
My best advice is to douch with a enama bottle with only luke warm water to clean yo ass inside and not using the salt water.