Gay Stuff : 15 Things Only Bottoms Can Understand
(Photo : Sean Cody)
Dear Top Only’s, bottoming is definitely tougher than you may think! You never really know the struggles your bottom gay guy is going through…Below are 15 Things Only Bottom Gay Men Can Totally Understand. Are you a Top, Bottom, or Versatile?
- Everybody seems to be Bottom? So who tops me?
Boo-hoo. The study saying there are only about .01 percent of gay men who are Tops is definitely wrong. It feels there are even LESS Tops than .01 percent, IMO, *sigh.* And when you do find a Top guy you are crazy attracted with… (see below)
- He doesn’t want to use condom (!)
No judgment here for those who want to do it bare (it feels great!), but if you two guys met at a bar and decide to “get out of here,” you’re expected to be safe—at all times—right? Can I just take you back to the bar? Nope. It will take me another millennia to find a Top…
- Higher risk of getting HIV
PrEP. Thank god for PrEP. Because Bottom gays are at a higher risk of contracting HIV compared to Tops. *Sigh again.* They can just wipe it clean anyways.
- The Clean-up!
Being clean while at it isn’t something that Tops particularly worry about. Bottoms, on the other hand, have to prepare, cleaning rigorously both before and after. (As for Tops, they only have to wipe and pee. No need to douche.) At the same time, worrying about having to stay “clean” all the time can take you out of the moment.
- Eating and pooping needs timing
In relation to no.4, you don’t know when you can eat a big meal because, oops, you can’t poop within 8 hours before your session. Also, you cannot just eat anything lest you become gassy or have a bad stomach and deal with the embarrassment forever.
- The exercise.
Physical exertion is hard down here! We work out our glutes, quads, abs, and even our shoulders and arms when you choose to have it propped up. It could also take loads of balance and rhythmic motion on our part. Tops aren’t the only ones doing some action here.
- And when it’s taking you forever
Some tops just never finish! Don’t get me wrong. Sex is fabulous, but getting pounded for almost two hours can get pretty exhausting. It can also hurt! Try researching the law of diminishing marginal returns. After some point, pleasure gradually diminishes the lengthier the time. Tsk.
- Powerdrilled/ doggy styled – No variety.
Most bottom gay men love being powerdrilled—once in awhile. We don’t just love powerdrills, so how about switching things up?
The worse thing, too, is when powerdrillers only know doggy-style. It’s great, it feels heavenly on the P-spot, but can we change the pace and position now and then? Tough again if we have to hold it for almost two hours. See no.7.
- And no foreplay!
Okay, you’re excited, you’re hard, and you just want to get it on. We do too, but the lack of foreplay before getting a huge meat stick inside of us can be a task, so let’s set the mood, can we?
- Some tops just don’t care whether you orgasm or not.
This is selfish, just selfish.
Bottom guys, although would gladly bottom for you, want to cum too. Just because you finished quickly doesn’t mean our session is over. Tops are expected to offer to help Bottoms finish too. We have needs just like you. If it happens that you ejaculate early, why not play further? Stimulate your bottom guy, rabidly make out, do heavy petting, make.him.cum. And then have a go at it again. There’s no reason not to want to cum two times in a single session.
- The PAIN.
In all of the above, just imagine the PAIN we are going through. Being well-endowed down there is a good thing, but if it’s too well-endowed, it could hurt and it sucks.
Sex is impossible to enjoy when you’re in so much pain, but we love our guy so we’ll probably just deal with it.
- So we pop but get judged
Poppers are drugs and we take them so anal sex wouldn’t be so painful. It’s not so healthy and we know there will always be popper judgers, we get it. It’s not too flattering to be vigorously inhaling while making snorting sounds when you get pounded by a guy from your behind. For some gay guys, sadly, it just hurts too much not to pop.
- And then people assume we are submissive or are sluts
“Power bottoms” are not a myth–you can aggressively bottom and run the entire night. Just because we love being penetrated doesn’t mean we are or that you can order us to be submissive.
Secondly, bottoms, especially effeminate bottoms, are also slut-shamed more often by judgers of sexual conduct. We are not sluts for wanting to be topped, and we don’t “have a loose butthole.” (For your information, “loose butthole” is not in the workings of Anatomy.) Masculine tops are not shamed this same way so, sure, they can sleep around without worry of being judged.
- Anal Fissures
And oh, the joys of heavenly bottoming! They give you…ANAL FISSURES. You are at a higher risk especially if you guy likes it rough, and it could hurt like hell, while at it and right after it. It hurts especially when you feel…
- The need to poop (when you have an anal fissure)—and just RIGHT after you no.4—CLEAN.
You do whatever you can for your cleaning routine even douching yourself up only to poop one hour later. It’s probably the most frustrating thing, and you have this anal fissure.
Bonus: #16. Heck, after all these we still love being topped.
So how about you?
Recommended video:
As a top, here’s a favourite that comes from bottoms on hookup sites/apps ALL. THE. TIME: “Bring your friends!” Actually, I don’t mind hearing that because it pretty much tells me a hookup isn’t going to happen. They’re just living in their fantasy world and I can move on to somebody who may actually want to get fucked.
really good blog post mots is true but i have tops that like poppers i thought it made them more hornier
Jay -NYC
Bottoms shud try “Pure for men ” Google it the best ..
I’ve seen it online, is it working?
Back in 2008 I had to go into the hospital for some kind of immensely painful rectal damage (not even from sex BTW) that caused bleeding and had to go 6 days without any food of any kind while there. Ever since I got out of the hospital I NEVER have a BM without douching (that’s how much pain I was in). Glad you suggested this as this sounds a LOT easier.
You forgot the intense pleasure of anal orgasms. With the right top I have multiple anal orgasms making my whole body feel like it’s in a euphoric state. When this happens I do not need to ejaculate. The anal orgasms are much more satisfying.
100% true; multiple anal orgasms most sex sessions. So lucky!
Just give blowjobs. No douching required and no clean up afterwards. It’s all gone……..
I appreciate your article and the effort a btm has to do in order to make a pleasant experience for me. That being said I really make an effort to do my time down there to open him up slowly and comfortable as possible. If my guys not enjoying it, how can I?
Amen to that, I totally agree with Douglas above, but I believe most tops see bottoms as just a hole to get off on and they think that’s what expected of them. When I do bottom it’s a huge let down when the top is done and is looking to rinse off and leave. It also relates to #10 above, I don’t ejaculate easily, in either position, I can top for a long time but I pay attention to my bottom and I can usually tell when, even if he hasn’t ejaculated, it’s getting uncomfortable down there and there’s always another way to continue the play that we both enjoy. A lot of bottoms have fantasies about getting fucked for hours or by the biggest thing they can shove up there but in reality things are very different.
as a versa guy i know the effort it takes to clean out good to be able to have a great session. if i know i’m meeting a top or versa guy and he wants to fuck me too. i very seldom do a last minute hook up as a abottom. my last date i had a great time with a versa guy. then the last time he had other plans then later that night he called and asked if i was free. lol of course i was so i douched as good as i could on 1 hour notice. normally tho i like to watch what i eat the night /day before then i douche at least 4-6 hours before then again 1 hour before i leave home. so far that plan has worked well for me. other than the last minute thing last weekend have never had a issue with getting messy. but i have had hook ups that knew nothing about the prep work involved.
so anymore during our chats i find out if the know how to get ready for anal play, some dont but most do. 1st timers are the ones i’ve had to show how to do it and the equipment needed. one twink was a virgin and he learned the lesson well never had a problem with him after that
Douglas is right tho i always work with my guy to get him ready n relaxed, you right if he is not enjoying it how can i…. Dean
A bottoms view
Tops that need to stroke himself during sex/ or edge him self
The point where the top is close …best thing of being a. Bottom
Why do grown men have to say poop? It sounds like kindergarten
As a power bottom who loves to ride cock I can tell you that I work way harder than most of the guys whose cock I’m fucking with my asshole when I ride ,but still sometimes crave to be slowly sensually had my asshole made love to and with his hands groping my body like he cares about the way I feel
As for getting ready, I’m almost always ready. One of the best experiences I’ve ever had was when I was at a gay bar. I’d been making out pretty heavily with a guy at the bar when he had to leave. I was quite disappointed. Another guy who had been watching came up, grabbed my ass and when I stuck my ass out, he pulled my shorts to the side and fucked me right there at the bar! I didn’t see him come up to me until he grabbed my ass, but he had already pulled his hard cock out and was lubed up. The only thing that wasn’t great was how quickly he came.