Speak Out : Married But Looking…
One evening recently I looked up profiles that started with “Married” and discovered that at that moment 94 guys in that category were on A4A looking for a male sex partner to supplement sex with their wives! For those of you who question the reality of bisexuality—it is real! If you subscribe to some of the gay porn movie sites, you often hear a cast member complaining about their female partners being uninterested and they are seeking male sex to fulfill their sexual desires. So, apparently two gay guys having sex is not the only game—it is augmented with bisexuals wanting to experience sexual pleasure with other males whether they are gay or bisexual.
What is so wonderful and stimulating about males having sex with other males? One answer is the old adage that “a guy knows what a guy needs more than a female.” If you discuss sexual activity with a bisexual male, he will express having the same physical and emotional needs that any healthy male experiences. However, he often reminds himself that at the end of an evening of passionate male sex that he will return home and crawl into bed with his significant other—his wife.
Much has been published about male sexuality, but no statistics are readily available that reflect on the actual number of males who are having sex with males and females. This is especially significant because these males are living in two sexual worlds, not just one.
Subscribers, can you recall sexual experiences in your past that reflect on guys who are enjoying sex with both sexes?
Anonymous
(To submit an article, send it to blog at adam4adam dot com)
I’ve always said pick one or the other. Don’t spread yourself around. These guys on gay Web sites having sex with men then have wives and girlfriends need a good smack. Those roles should go to gay men only. And besides a purely straight man would never think about touching another man. I could name names and some that are supicious. One very well known one.
I am a married guy looking for some sexual fulfillment on the side. I am not a top. There are just somethings a woman can’t help. I need a dick to reach deep inside me and hit that spot.
Love having sex with top married men since they appricate it. I also like knowing that they are going home but will always return for more.
Um, married doesn’t mean that it’s a woman that they’re married to. There’s this thing called gay marriage which was legalized nationwide in June of 2015…. =/
Whether your spouse has a vagina or a penis, you took a vow to be faithful to them.
‘Til death do us part’ does not have an ‘unless I feel like taking it up the ass’ clause.
A lot of us fought for years to make marriage and option for ourselves. I will have no part in cheapening it.
Try to rationalize it however you want, if you’re cheating on your spouse you’re not worthy of having one. Shame on you.
I am a Bimwm. I love my wife but need to have sex with men too. Have also had some threesomes with other guys and their wives and girl friends. My wife is SO Catholic she will not do a threesome; we’ve not even discussed it for years. I believe most of the men I have sex with are also married or have girl friends. Bi’s are here to stay. I’ve read a few places where gays don’t like Bi’s. I don’t think I’ve run into that problem yet. I hope it’s not true.
That’s because they think everyone is gay but just not being honest. I have been married for 30 years and sex is great with the wife but I still like dick.
Speaking as a bi married male. I find the experience to be satisfying in a completely different way. There is something so different in being with a man, hard and soft, the ability to let go and be completely consumed by the nature of the experience. My preference isca male cpl that lets me in middle and take to pleasurable heights that leaves me weak in the knees. Going from dominant male to pliable putty is the real turn on. I love women. The way they smell, taste, look, and there passion. However, a hard bodied male with a big cock can get me going and beg for more. A dichotomy that is as complex as is the subject.
good comment.
So true married here and I enjoy sex with other males I feel more free to get more sexuslly involved from fulfilling my dirty fanistys to helping an other man full fill his.
IMO we are all bisexual. I don’t believe anyone is 100% straight or 100% gay, but we all just fall on different levels of the spectrum. Look at how fluid female sexuality is. Male sexuality is just starting to become more open and fluid, as society becomes more open.
Why doesn’t A4A have a bisexual option?
Despite some thoughts and feelings here, I truly love my wife as a companion. I feel that (i know that) I love sex with a man much more. I feel that this is not right regardless, but I cant stop the feeling or thoughts. I don’t feel I would be happier married to a man, but I wouldnt feel guilty about having sex..
Sorry to say been there done that. Wasted 10 on him. Trust me I’ve learned my lesson. Married and want to play? Keep moving junior
I have been told by married guys…..”sex wit a guy isn’t cheating”……and they believe it
Ever since I was 13yrs old I’ve enjoyed being bisexual. I just can’t get enough of M2M sex or sex with a women. My wife and I are both bi and enjoy sharing both sexs with one another and alone. I enjoy sex with guys and gals for her. I was very “Open” with her from the start. I explained to her I was bi and enjoyed sex with men.Being Single and love haaving free and open sex with whoever I wanted and she needed to except me or move on. To my surprise she said that was so cool to share that with her and she loved me even more. She wasn’t bi but said she always wanted to try and since her trying she never turned back. That was 15 yrs ago. Yes we get tested regularly.
Thanks for letting me share
jimmy
Take a good look at the photo. Notice the guys dirty fingernails. Truly nauseating. Men will never learn.
Let me start by saying I’ve been married to a women for 23 yrs. We have been swinging for approximately 20. We love sex, who doesn’t? She’s very bi, but doesn’t like to see men together. While looking at Porn site one day, I saw a website called squirt.org and adam4adam.com hmmm…. So I checked them out. I got invited to a gloryhole which I found interesting to say the least. I still go to one twice a week, and love it. Amazing head from men compared to women. I’m attracted to smooth fem guys, mostly asain. I love TV, TS & TG… I know I’m bi, and have no problem with that. There is something so hot when I’m making out with a guy, but I would never give up women as well. I’ve done alot with men, but it amazes me how many there are willing to blow you with no reciprocation. I often feel guilty but I remind myself they offered. I wish I could share it with her being we share 99% of everything. I love seeing her with men and women. My favorite thing is fucking her after she has a big creampie in her dripping out. I don’t eat cum but like feeling it all over my cock. So yes we do exist in the world. Just sharing my experience and thoughts.
I’ve always maintained that sex isn’t binary like everyone tries to make it. You simply can explain the “str8” guys who get head from gay guys when drunk and other less than str8 male/female sex situations. Needs and circumstances matter. A str8 guy who’s wife/girlfriend/etc who doesn’t meet his sexual needs is hardly new. Guys have sought outlets for this for far longer than the academic study of sex would imply. It’s just more openly talked about and there are ways to get it that didn’t previously exist. The wonders of technology and the Internet.
I’m a bisexuals male. I desire and enjoy both sexes although not at the same time. The delicate female and the masculine male are a turn on by themselves.
My old lady hasn’t sucked me off in years. Says it’s too fat and makes her jaw hurt… Guess she suffers from csc ( cock suckers cramp). Guys who have sucked me love my girth
I Chicago i grew up, almost all my sex partners were married to ladies..one guy admitted his wife would insert her toy into him and he loved it. She loved watching his expressions…but told me it would be a disaster if she found out that he was fucking with men. It was a sad time (for me) each time because I always quickly crush on them.
My question to this is how many of the married are married to women or married to same sex?
As a happily married bisexual male I can tell you that gay men don’t have an exclusive on homosexual sex. I think most Bi guys actually prefer sex with other Bi guys versus gay guys. In general Bi guys bring a lot less baggage to the bedroom. Most of us r there for the pure carnal fun of sport fucking. By having our main attraction at home cooking dinner, taking care of the kids etc we are not lonely angst ridden individuals looking for love in a hookup. Because we live a hetronormative life we don’t face the prejudice and discrimination gay men do. We easily move between the two worlds when we want. Because of this we get a lot of resentment and hostility from the more militant members of the gay community. The standard narrative that we are confused, repressed or too cowardly to live as proud out gay men goes unchallenged. I find my straight friends are more accepting and supportive than my gay friends. A4A is also a poor hookup site for us compared to craigslist or XTube. So there is the story from a 30+ year member of the Bi community. Curious what the take on this is from the gay side.
Married here and luvr the company of masc sub men. Has nothing to do with the woman l have, I’m a bit heavy handed at times and found what hurts the average woman, a man enjoys. djsgood7 @gmail
Only 94? That number seems really low. Now that marriage is legal between same sexes, I would think that number would be much higher.
Having been married twice to women and now in a long term relationship with a man, I still enjoy the company and playing with others. One of the reasons I will not marry my current partner.
I do play with married men that have wife’s and all of them like the bottom side of it. I realize that this is my experience and it could be that I only top. However most of them want something a women/wife can not give them. Mild or wild the passion that men share is not only fun but sexually satisfying.
I was among the 94. Was. I was married 25 years, and am now a widower.
Nothing, nothing, will bring the ire, wrath, and abject hatred of the gay community faster than to be married to a woman and play with men. It seems the gay world in vast numbers has no tolerance for married men claiming bi. To many there is only gay or straight. No middle ground. Add to this the condemnation of cheating (often by men cheating on their own partners).
Bi, is very real, and unacceptable by the majority of gay men who are still trying to gain social acceptance themselves.
This topic fits me to a tee, I am bi and the wife doesn’t know as well as anyone in my family.I just turned 58 and the wife is 54 and is going through menopause, so she has no desire for sex. Maybe once a month I might get some, which for me is not enough, so I fill the need for sex with another guy.This has been going on for quite some time even before her menopause,and yes it’s true once you get married the “head” stops unless you are married to a nympho.So here I am searching for a guy to full fill my needs! I do have a couple of friends that like to hook up when time allows,but other than that……Jack Off!
How enlightening, Did you just come to this reality.
I think I knew this little tidbit of reality when I was a very young man. About 19 years old.
Welcome to reality. Let it sink in dude.
I love the sex with a man!!! Wife doesn’t play with my butt enough 🙁 it’s the feeling and sensation of how a man feels, when I am having sex. I also love that when we play, together it’s always with a bi male. Feel free to message me, I in my area 🙂
Being Bi as you would say, I can tell you that I love the woman I Married 2 yrs. ago. I was with guys for 30 years before meeting her. Yes, the opposite of what you always hear. She knows all about me and is good with it as she loves watching two guys having sex.Ever wonder why straight guys get off watching two women do it ? Ask the women around you and you will find women like watching two guys. What makes me love both sexes.
As much as I love the feel of a female body,the look soft and smooth. I also love the feeling a guys body,ruff with hairy chest,the strong feel of their arms and stomach. Being a bottom,having a guy going deep in me is something that no toy can do.
Yes I am Bi!! I enjoy sex with both Woman and men. I like to think of it as having the best of both worlds. Gay guy’s seem to always place them-self, as a top or bottom. With me I can be either and depending on my partner, I enjoy it. Making love and pleasing my partner is what is impotant. Man or Woman!!!!
There was something one of my married fuck buddies told me back in the day that has stuck with me all these years later. “Everyone’s experimented at least, it’s just no one talks about it”.
Which I tend to agree with. Especially since the Kinsey study found out in the 60’s that only 10% of the population is either strictly gay or strictly straight. The other 80% of the population has had at least 1 homosexual experience in their lifetime.
And that was in the 60’s when people were less open about filling those surveys out truthfully. Couple that with the much more permissive attitude towards sexuality these days and it’s not difficult to imagine those numbers have shifted even more today.
All I know is I’ve been with enough married guys that my gay friends call me the king of the straight men.
Filling in the “sexual grey areas” is quite common in American society. Until the religious and moral stigma attached to same sex attraction is accepted widely without penalty, it is going to go on. Quite a few of my sexual “buddies” have been living a straight life. Half of their wives didnt care, hell they were fine with exercising their husbands high sex drive so they didnt have to deal with it. A lot of guys want kids and a family, until recently that was not always possible for out and partnered gay men. Personally I dont like the idea of stepping out on a marriage, especially if it is mine.
The correct term for this phenomenon is “infedility”.
For many guys who’s sexuality sprouted in the 1950s or 1960s or 1970s or 1980s, they could have looked at the gays you saw in public and said “those pink ,fem, loud, ob-freakin’-noxious, pains in the ass” is not what they were about. They knew they were attracted to men, but that they were not one of “them.” In those years, coming out as gay would most likely cost you your friends, your family, you job … and in extreme cases … your life. Many of these guys, then, buried their sexuality. They became “functionally straight”. They married, had children, built careers, and became “the straight guy” their family, friends, and coworkers knew them as.
So along comes the 2000s … and the internet. After a decade or decades of being “alone”, these guys became able to connect with guys who were … just like them. Guys who understood what decisions they’d made and what their lives were about. Guys who were aching to “play” … to have man sex, the sex they’d all wanted for decades. Married, divorced, single … the internet gave all of them the opportunity to meet with someone they could trust, someone who understood their history.
Are these guys “bi”? Personally, I don’t think they all are. Maybe only a portion who truly enjoy sex with both sexes. The rest are “functionally straight”, just guys who have buried their sexuality because prior to the 2000s, being gay was “bad” on many fronts. All of which means gays who brag about how “I turned a straight guy” are fooling themselves; the “straight” guy never was “straight”. That “straight guy” was just looking for the right, safe, opportunity.
Of the handful of regular play buds I’m honored to have in my life, over 75% are or were married. Of those who did marriage, they say they always knew they were gay. It just took years for them to be able to act on those feelings.
Most of them are hesitant still to “come out”. They have established themselves with wives, children, family, coworkers, customers, etc. “Coming out” on the one hand isn’t a necessity … and on the other has risks and complications that affect the lives of those around them.
So, this supports violating a marriage? Awful. Never an excuse.
I’m married but I find myself wanting to suck on a nice cock every so often.
I’m a haply married man. I love my wife and would give my life for her, but there are things that a man will do for me that I don’t get at home. I’m still sexually active with her, but still have other desires.
I will be honestI know I have had sex with a married man BUT I will say I do not actively look for it. In fact, married men to me are a turn off.
i dont mess with any married guy unless there significant other says its ok or wants to join in girl or guy
If you look at some sites you will discover that a significant population of guys looking for sex are married to women. In my area of the country I would say it is about 60% of the total of the men on the sex search are closeted gay or bi sexual.
In my experience ….the straight and bi guys I’m with like to be dominant and very aggressive with me….I can’t imagin them doing to me what they do to a woman or their wives… I’m not complaining…I’m just saying pownind my holes spitting in my face choking me calling me names wouldn’t go over well with most women….
I guess I understand the situation. As a mid 50s guy I find that many of us got caught into the situation of doing the right thing when we were younger. The right thing was to get married and have kids as it was not considered respectable to be Gay. Societal scorn took it’s toll and we followed what was concerts to be normal. We did not want to embarrass our self, family, or have a problem moving up the career ladder. In my case I started looking at guys back in junior high school. Played with the guys once or twice after college. But married at age 29. Raised a couple of kids but never had a healthy sex life with my wife. I think she suspected all along because of our sexual problems that I was gay. Today we are still together but coexist. Sadly there is no affection. So where do we turn to? Sites like this to try and meet nice guys. It’s hard to meet guys on sites like this as most of us see him to have the same baggage of being married. Married guys normally do not have a place to meet.
I am so happy that societal norms today allow Young men to except who they are sexually and to live a very open and exciting life. The world has changed a lot from the 1970s when I was a 18-year-old kid. It is nice to see how they are excepted by family and others when they come out as gay.
Hi very nice read, I’m a bi versatile bottom that is married and on the dl. Since the age of 14 I have enjoyed the pleasures of both men and women. I love the passion and emotional connection with women, but crave the taste and feel of an hard cock in my mouth or ass. Sex with men don’t need the drama that often follows with women. Men want to bust a nut, and I enjoy being a little slutty and giving that pleasure
All my life I have enjoyed sex with both women and men.
However; not at the same time.
I have never cheated on a partner.
But when I’m not committed, anything goes.
I am a married bi male. Yes my wife knows and she enjoys it. She is really turned on by the idea of me with a man. Recently, about 6 months ago we started playing together with other bi men. She can’t get enough. She lives to not only watch us men have sex but gets involved as well. And once we are done she gets to enjoy the attention of two males.
Over the years I have found that most bi males crave a woman after man on man sex. Myself included. Maybe it’s a bi man’s way of saying he is still more straight I do not know.
I have been on A4A for quite some time now. I am married since 2003. I LITERALLY may have hooked up with MAYBE 2 gentleman since having a profile on here. But to be perfectly honest…I have not found what I am looking for. I actually believe that this is probably more like a fantasy type, more like wishful thinking that I may have now. It is more than likely never happen. I’m okay with that. So I just resort to watching porn that consist of more along the lines of what I desire. I’m always wondering!!! 😉
Yes I’m a another married guy who loves my pussy and dick ! I’m a bottom very much into black guys, I know I’m not the only one who does. There’s a bunch of white guys who have a thing for BBC! Unfortunately where I live there not many black tops around ;( I’m not sure why but I do love getting on my knees for black guys, hopefully he will bend me over and dick my horny ass down too. Once you get it black you ain’t going back
This is less about being bisexual and more about cheating. Which is disgusting and not attractive at all. Only self loathing gay men with no morals engage in relations with married men. Period.
as a former bi man but now strictly gay, I was married to a woman the sex with her was great but we & things changed we went or separate ways. I have met married men and done 3 ways mmm & mfm now its men for me only, I’m versa and have had top & bottom married lovers but now like single guys who can host also if that way if the other reaches out for a booty call it can be at either place NOT always at my place it seems the married guys are always in a rush to get out the door. the guy I met yesterday was a treat we fucked and sucked each other relaxed and shared intimate details about our lives, had a great time with him and hope to do it again soon (HIS WORDS)MAYBE I FOUND THE ONE DDDD
Someone should make an anthology about these men society is very anti bisexual men. I am not bisexual but I find reading these stories interesting. It sounds like these bisexual men here are into sex with other men but do not want the emotional connection or relationship with another male.
But on the other hand these bisexual men can be bringing HIV and other STD’S to their wives and girlfriends.
Cheating is a terrible thing to do. So many of the comments have a man saying that he LOVES his wife but still plays with guys on the side. What is wrong with you? You were lucky enough to find the one person who you love (which some of us never even get to) and then decided that it was ok to cheat? Ok to hurt that person?
I believe that guys are liars and cheats in general but BI guys are the worst. I’ve been with a few of them, they will deny the truth of themselves to everyone they can, constantly fear being outed and take whatever steps necessary to fool themselves as well. They are secretive and will deceive you, as evidenced by the comments where these guys cheat and don’t even feel remotely bad about it. They are truly the worst people to be in a relationship with.
I would rather be with a gay guy, lot less closeted baggage and fear of being seen with a guy who is gay and lot less lying about who they are and what they want.
Sometimes it feels that there are more bisexual/married men logged on to A4A.com than there are gay men which is very discouraging for guys like me– gay and wanting to connect with other gay men. When I see and read a profile of a supposedly “Happily Married Man” and he is craving dick in his ass, I can do nothing but roll my eyes in disgust. You are not exploring “the other side”, you are not “scratching a sexual itch”, you are cheating on your spouse; plain and simple. Regardless of whether you are sleeping with men or women, always play safe and know your status guys. Just because sex is fun doesn’t mean it can’t have its consequences.
There is a LOT of ignorance about male sexuality. The first is that males are NOT innately programmed for monogamy. The evidence in the field of psychology is massive on this. The second is that males much more than females ARE oriented to bisexuality and it is only societal norming that forces him to choose one or the other. Moreover, ample research shows that many long-term gay relationships rely on guest partners to keep the spark alive.
People who are hung up on cheating are simply speaking judgmentally from their narrow minded Puritan programming.
I married a lipstick lesbian who is also my best friend and we’ve knocked out 4 sons. Sex between us is pretty hot. She plays with other women. I play with other men. We do three ways and he LOVES watching me do a guy.
Free your mind!
Gay, Straight, whatever label you accept or identify with. No group has a corner on human sexuality. For some it seems how they enjoy sex is how they choose to identify themselves, that’s fine, we are all free here to be who we are, or at least that’s the premise. Myself, I am much more than any one definition and / or label can define. I believe we all are.
I can only guess why some choose or accept a label. For me,, as far as sites, such as this one, it seems a label is required, even tho 90+% of the people here seem to just not see or want to see what we put in our profiles. I am sexual…. what does that mean? In my case, I am secure/ comfortable in my own skin. I enjoy sex, that’s the way it’s supposed to be, makes sense to me, I mean we’re not writhing in pain during, after, or even when we’re thinking about it.( if you are , you might need a doctor, maybe a psychologist.)
I never had any misconceptions about sexual pleasure. I love women, always have. Have a great, long marriage, a great sexual connection with my wife, she’s my best friend and she knows everything about me.
I realized early on, I really enjoyed my cock, cock is good….(grunt). I am sexually interested in cock / men.
beyond that, in my every day boring aspects of life, I may be checking out guys, I am checking out women…..Hm-mm, nothing strange here,,, I love getting my partner off, love the fact that I am giving that pleasure, love the feeling of the sexual connection. For me it’s totally natural to “be sexually with” another guy, as with all the other aspects of my life and how I live it. I really couldn’t care less what anyone thinks of me. Well maybe a couple of people, but I know they love me know me in more than a one dimensional way, they see me as they do, and what I do in bed is not even a brief thought for them.
So what fits??? within the confines of this arena..
I guess Bi fits as well as any one word can….. I’m also bottom (with a guy) , for me this is totally natural, also its not so much submission as it is surrender, trust, and also not something I do with just anyone, anytime. I believe sexual pleasure is one of the greatest gifts of life. We as individual adult human beings, have free will to enjoy it as we decide. We also have the right to our belief, opinions, and to exist as we choose, without being
subjected to or expected to conform to anyone else’s ideology on how to live our lives, right???? Funny how the expectation / demand for tolerance many times comes from those who talk that talk but don’t always walk the walk…..
As for cheating…. The rules determine what is cheating, right? Who sets the rules for you?
In my life, its about integrity, character, two concepts that I am sure mean many different things to many different people. I don’t “cheat”
More notable, I am genuine, just being me, I have had a bit of time to refine that. I am totally fine with who I am.
Society considers a man straying beyond the bounds of his marriage, a cheater. Why should it be any different simply because the guy is bisexual or a closet case? There are loyal monogamous men and there are those lacking in moral character that cheat. Gay men need to accept the reality they will never be anything more than a hard dick or a receptacle to a married mans desires, and will always be respected less than his wife or husband. If they have that little self worth and lack of respect for themselves, they may have bigger issues than fucking around with a married guy.
I’m surprised no one has mentioned the role-play part of this yet. Meaning all the flamers that claim to be bi/married when in all actuality they’ve never even touched a woman. Somehow they think it makes them more attractive. Or the guys that know you would never meet them if you saw their pic, that claim “married/discreet” as an excuse not to share one. That may work for some, but it definitely doesn’t work for me. Anyone who cheats is a scumbag. Grow some balls and leave your wife if you prefer men.
I post on CL once in awhile. A cock shot. Anyone that claims to be married or too discreet to send a pic gets deleted. I like single, masculine gay men, once in awhile a slightly fem guy if he’s really cute.
I know the article was written about a male and female couple, but, I’d like to steer away and talk about the male/male marriage.
I have a friend who says he’s married. He wears a ring on his 4th finger on his RIGHT hand…not his left. He’s only lived in this state for 3 years, and before that was living in a whole other country. He supposedly got married here before it was even legal!
Sorry for the preface here, but I understand that marriage is commitment to another person…whether on paper or without it. Recently (whether intentionally or not), hes been saying my husband this…my husband that. He states how he and his husband are in this open relationship and that sex is just a hobby and that each of them have sex with whomever they want.
Sorry…I’m older and have some different values apparently, but if you’re married, I don’t understand this sexing around. He really is sexy and cute, a real twink, but it is almost unbearable hearing of his sexcapades, yet being married.
Am I truly messed up, or what? Would love to know other people’s views.
Remember how you may have stretched the truth or even lied during your coming out process? These guys are pros. They’ve been lying to their spouses (male or female) for years & now it’s just like saying “good morning”. The fact of the matter is that in most cases their own desires are more important than anything. The biggest asshole I know said the thing he was most upset about after his divorce was that his ex took back her maiden name. He fucked men while they were dating, he fucked men while they were engaged & fucked men while they were married. Can’t imagine why after 10 years of lying she wouldn’t want his name. No surprise that he cheats on his gay partner too. to many bisexual = license to lie to people you say you care about.
I’m married an bi. Nothing can take the place of a throbbing, hard cock when I’m in the mood for man play. Sex with men is so totally different in every respect from sex with a woman. I think it would be boring to settle for just one or the other.
Marriage is OBSOLETE, GAY,STRAIGHT,BI doesn’t matter.
The internet has ended it.
I think marriage between 2 men is laughable.
I’ve never known a gay couple that I would settle for their “arrangement ”
I’ve had guys eat my ass out, take my loads- mouth & ass
and when I go to kiss them they say ” I’m in a relationship ” LOL!!!
Isn’t it funny that the guys that post how many years they’ve been together are on here 24 / 7! better put the internet to bed & go do your partner
Gee, ya finally figured that out? Let me help you übergays pick up the clue phone…MOST MALES are bisexual to any given degree, per Masters and Johnson and Kinsey and a WHOLE bunch of other studies…WE are the majority, you’re just the fringe. We’re the ones who work, vote, own property, pay taxes, raise kids and do all that stuff most of you can’t dream of doing…and yeah, we like dick and ass and furry guys and all that. Get used to it. Yeah, I lived the “gay lifestyle” down in WeHo until it all went to shit in late ’80, ran off by ’83 and didn’t look back until I had the intel to KNOW what was going on. Now, I can approach men with some degree of confidence again, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t think of them a lot back when I was staying away…it was tough, but I escaped the bug, unlike all you guys who were in denial, many still being so. So yeah…we’re the “lavender flag” guys who may have one little flag flying at any PRIDE event….but we’re clearly the majority. Best wise up.
My girl was polishing me off before we got married and I explained to her about my high sex drive. Get married and nothing but her nagging ass mouth. Im not into fucking dudes that much but get head any day. Women dont appreciate it like the dude. I just stay away from the wannabe masculine and fem dudes. They get in their feelings way too much.
In my experience, I am 75 years of age, and have had lots of relationships and can honestly say that sex is great but sex and love is even greater…therefore if you want to just have sex with man and women..stay single..and never say I love you to anyone..because in reality you only love yourself. You will hurt someone along the way because he or she will fall in love with you and you will not be able to return their love…..
I am a Bisexual Male and Love both Genders equally. No one can tell me to choose side hell I came from a. Woman and will always return to one. The physical Sex is different from each and I do welcome both in and out of bed.
Top here. Honestly if women were as big a slut as men is never fool around with a guy, but guys are easier to find and less likely to get attached so I settle for that. But I’d much rather be with women.
Funny how so many guys on here say they married and want dick on side fail to mention that they are cheating on their wives, lying to their wife’s face saying how much they love her and cannot live without her… Its men like you who gives gays a bad rep.. Theres no such thing as bisexual… You just a gay man who cannot admit to yourself or anyone else you like men, so instead you claim to be str8 & cheat until the truth finally comes out.. If you truely loved her, you wouldn’t be lying to her and putting her through some BS… FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE BE A MAN AND SPEAK THE TRUTH & BE HONEST
Interesting post. I was marriedf or 26 years to a woman who
Thought not sex was not important!! I was a raging homophobic
But finally justified sex with a guy was not cheating. Started with glory hole scenario and went on from there!!! I’m certainly bi I like BOTh sexes. At my age I wouldn’t mind findinga bi couple to enjoy!! Wonder where you find them in Kansas City!!!
Setting aside the issue many brought up regarding cheating, Fidelity and spouses who either know or willingly promote sex outside their marriage (gay or straight) – I would like to direct my comment purely to sexual orientation.
I was part of a coming out group in a major metropolitan area for a decade in the late 1990’s. Everyone’s story was unique, and I took them at face value. Despite identifying as a gay male myself; I always respected everyone’s right to label themselves or to reject any labels, to use whatever description they felt best reflected their own image of themselves.
There were many gay men who identified as bi at one time in their lives that later identified as only gay. In my experience, They were the ones who had the biggest difficultly accepting that any bi man was not truely gay and in denial, perhaps because that had been their own truth.
I personally believe that all spectrums exist and that we would discover that if society would allow it’s members freedom to explore their own inner nature.
Let’s all try to get along and accept people for who they are right now. And let everyone have the freedom to change or stay the same as they see fit.
The new problem for me at this point is that now I’m not sure if the “married” guy is with a woman or man… I’ve been out of the dating market for a few years. Its a new world for me.
Being a gay man, I really can’t judge or relate to a straight or bi sexual man, however, if I found out that my spouse was having sex with someone else, I would send him packing. If you are engaged or married, cheating is cheating and you need to make a choice or end the engagement/marriage.
I will not have sex with a married man. Period. I don’t care if the wife knows, I don’t care if the wife is frigid or uninterested or what the hell ever, a married man took a vow to forsake all others. How many innocent wives and children died during the plague years (and are still dying today!!!) because some married man decided he needed some cock in his ass? It’s astounding the number of married men on A4A who are “anything goes” bottoms! Not to mention, as another person commented, we fought too long and too hard for marriage equality to cheapen it now. If you fuck married men, you just made a mockery of
what we’ve fought so hard to achieve. Just my two cents.
Bisexual men are a royal nightmare. They have so much baggage it is ridiculous and at any given moment they can just switch on you. I particularly loathe them and stay as far as I can possibly can from them. Every time someone wants to date me and they break the “I’m bisexual” news to me …well, that is a deal breaker
Have you ever considered if it’s not behind their back?
I’m pansexual. Attracted to personality, but comfortable with either gender. My wife knows, just doesn’t have any interest in 3-ways and respects that I enjoy bottoming to men. I show my faithfulness to her by letting her know when I am going to cruise and play. She doesn’t like strap on play either, so she shows her faithfulness by letting me get my “fix”.
At the end of the night. I go home to her. For those straight out attacking bi/pan men. Don’t be so quick to hate or judge. Remember that many straight people don’t look so kindly among us either. You can’t preach equality and bash another sexuality because you don’t understand it.
i am a bisexual single male that prefers women. I have been with several guys and have hired gay escorts on several occasions simply because I prefer younger smooth guys. I don’t like hairy masculine men ,although I have been with some, I just love those cute little boys. recently I went to a large city , got a hotel room and put an ad on craigslist just looking for mutual oral and a cum facial. I could not believe all the responses I got. In 2 days I was with 11 guys. No kissing or hugging just sex and 3 of them topped me. No information or names were exchanged just cum and go. I did not cum until the last guy. I had the best time and plan on doing it again. I have never ever had un protected sex in my life and don,t plan on it. Most of those 11 guys had wedding rings on.
I find it a bit hard to understand why some married men or even those that identify as being bisexual but not married are against meeting up with someone that identifies as being gay. I see quite a few guys that will only meet up with other married or other bisexuals even if as a gay man am totally discreet and non-judgmental. Not sure if it is just wanting someone else that is in the same situation as them or whether they think married/bisexual men are more masculine.
The biggest problem with this, especially on these kinds of gay sites (since there is an abject LACK of legitimate gay ‘dating’ sites since most gay sites turn into porn sites anyway)is that for those of us who ARE out, who DO want more than a messed sheets hit-and-run, we are constantly hit up by these closet cases who only want to run in, fuck, and run back to the wife. They do not become friends, they will never become ‘lovers’, and everything is ALWAYS on their terms and time schedule. When THEY want it, you’d better be available, but when YOU want it…well…tough shit. And there is NO way of weeding them out. Even if you say ‘no married men’ in your profile, if they live near you, they come after you any way.
Interesting comments here. I really didn’t know so many guy’s out there like me. Married and pk ay with guy’s on the side. My wife has been totally disabled since the early 90’s .. no sex at home and what kind of person would I be to leave a disabled person to fend for herself. I’m a care person who is married and plays with men. I look for men who can host. Which seams to be the biggest obstacle.
LuckyBiChucky: I respect your views, but I disagree with you that all are bisexual to some degree. I am 100% gay, have never been with a woman sexually and never will. If placed in front of a firing squad and told I could be saved by having sex with a woman, I would yell, “Fire!” I can’t even think of a woman’s pussy without getting a little sick inside. Cocks and balls and men’s holes — yum yum. thaddeus172000
My first m2m experience was at the age of 7 when a group of older boys molested me in our tree house. Didn’t remember the event til a few years ago. I have always had the desire to experience a man. I am married but still have that feeling of want. I now have a good friend that has worked up to oral play. My wife does not know. I find it sad that so many people can be bigots, on both sides of the fence. You can cheat physically or emotionally. If your on this site, chances are you are not without any fault. Lusting is still lusting. We all need to be a more understanding of each other or maybe tolerant. We all have needs and sometimes it just isn’t so clear and simple.
I’ve had sex with plenty of “straight” guys who thought they were still “straight” because they weren’t the one being penetrated anally or sucking dick. Whatever…if a guy turns me on, I won’t waste time debating semantics with him, I’d rather just get busy and don’t really care if he self-identifies as “straight” or “bisexual”.
Through my years I have to admit I’ve slept with a few married men. The ones I’ve been with have been open about their married stats and I was also open that it didn’t matter to me. I find it very difficult for these men to play both sides of the fence but I do wish them well. I have found some of my most emotional and very passionate memories with guys who where married.
I too am a married guy who happens to enjoy the touch, taste and feel of a man on occasion..More often than not. My first experience was sucking a guy in college..like most guys who have done this, I Did enjoy it. Life goes on and you suppress that feeling you had when you enjoyed sucking dick!!! You ultimately realize later in life that you enjoy Guys more than women. Being Bisexual is fun, but truly we are closeted gay men…
As someone who has also been in the boat of “happily married with a woman, happily plays with men”, I know exactly how certain people in this category feel. Just because I enjoy sex with a man doesnt mean Ill have sex with the first one that passes a glance my way. I have one regularly partner I meet up with on adam regularly, for about 6 years now. I care about him and his situation, he cares about mine, and we have a great friendship, with something a little extra thrown in there to satisfy both our needs. My wife and I discussed my bisexuality, and she says she is not equipped to provide for me in every sense, so she understands where i am coming from. And our marriage vows specifically withheld the forsaking all others. Not everyone can understand our viewpoints, or your viewpoints. This wonderful world is filled with opinions and differences. Thats what makes it unique. But ill be damned if anyone else tells me how to live my life and be happy according to their rules. Thats not for anyone else to decide.
You biphobic übergays on this thread make my stomach churn…”EWWWWW, you’re CHEATING!” (while you’re “playing out back” on YOUR HUBBY, but that’s OK, but you’re GAY, right?) Latest stats show that 90% of gay male married couples “trick out,” some with mutual knowledge, MOST WITHOUT. Fuck you and your fake holier-than-thou bullshit up the butt…oh wait, that’s what you WANT, right? Bi men are more than even odds more toward the top side, so while all these übergays who hate us so much say so on blogs, oh MAN will they hit us up on these hookup sites (OR in bars) to get their asses punched! Hyprocrites. And you want US to support you, right? Think, and think again.
WHY get married to a woman if you have to have sex with a man?
Doesn’t anybody believe in monogamy anymore?
Being BI and married is tricky and thrilling at the same time… being 49, I get lots of hits from the boys who want to fulfil a “daddy/son” fantasy as well many questions… I told my wife I was BI BEFORE we got married… she said she can’t compete with that as long as I stay safe and clean. It’s worked for the past 26 yrs!
One thing that is very disgruntling is guys who do not understand what all is involved here… I can’t just drop everything and run to meet someone; and I’m sure I’m not alone in this… give us a chance – you’ll be surprised!
I’m a married bi guy and find it very puzzling that so many gay guys have issues with those of us who are bisexual. I have heard so many guys say that there is no such thing as bisexual. That’s ridiculous. There are so many variations on sexuality it’s not even funny. I thoroughly enjoy pussy, and also happen to have a serious love affair with dick. I can easily enjoy both and don’t see any reason not to.
If a man states that he is married (to man or woman)in his profile then it’s a persons choice to get together with this married man or not. The problem I have seen is when the married man is a liar and does not disclose he is married. It doesn’t really matter why a person lies they all have some sort of justification story; it’s still bullshit. Some married men are upfront about their relationship and desires, and that’s okay if that is similar to something you are seeking.
Married men want options. Being an option is not a real relationship it’s being second choice (at best.)
sorry the word bisexual is a deal breaker for me. anytime I meet a dude and the soonest he breaks the news that he is bi. its done from that point on… bi men are a ROYAL NIGHTMARE & COME WITH TOO MUCH BAGGAGE, NOT TO MENTION INSECURTIES. I worked to hard to be who I am to have some dude tear it all down. sorry but bi men are thrown out like yesterday’s trash in my book. Too many of yall cheat and lie. if I had a dollar for every time I hear a man say that he’s bi and his wife knows but later to find out he was cheating, I would be on my big ass yacht, basking in the sun, while I’m in St. Tropez..
Married to a wonderful woman who knows about and encourages my play with other men. She loves to watch me play with men, and we always go home and have the most incredible sex.
In my opinion married bisexuals that cheat on their wives are selfish scum …if they like a cock in their ass…like i do …they should have thought of that before getting married to a woman. ..but they want their cake and eat it too !!
LuckyBiChucky i agree with the no one is 100% gay or 200% straight. ..thats because im 200% gay !!.. i’ve never been with a woman and i’ve never had a desire to
One thing about sex with married so-called “bi” guys — they moan louder, they cum more intensely and longer, they open their mouths and asses wider, they just can’t get enough. You gotta love ’em, as they are so starved for good gay sex — and we gay guys know how to kiss them, suck them, give them our hard-ons to suck, rim them, and fuck them (and get fucked by them) good, and those “bi” guys love it.
-It’s been proven that sexuality is fluid.
-It’s been proven that sexuality is affected not only by nature, but also by nurture. Your experiences/environment in combination with your genetic nature is what determines this.
-It is safe to say that sexuality is not black and white. It is more like a million shades of grey. I think that naturally, we are all most likely to land in one of those shades of grey. But that nurture (society) will make us believe that orientation is black and white.
-Society has ingrained in us that sexuality is a black and white subject. That you MUST be either gay or straight. Bisexuality is JUST beginning to be recognized by the masses.
-Keep in mind that in our society, to be even SLIGHTLY into men, means you’re gay. This is where “nurture” comes into play. This is where you begin to tell yourself that you CAN’T be straight if you’re open to sucking dick. This is where you begin to hear in the media how disgusting pussy is to gay men. This is where we begin to tell ourselves, as men, that women don’t want us because we’re not completely straight. So we begin to lose attraction to the gender altogether because we feel like they don’t want US. We are nurturing ourselves into manipulating out natural bisexuality, and turning it into homosexuality because of societal rejection. Femininity in males has been seen as a homosexual and negative trait in our society, so why even say that you’re attracted to something that isn’t attracted to you? I think that our own dignity may play a role in our transition from bisexual, to homosexual.
-After the “nurture” which makes you think you MUST be gay, you continue to entertain this. You don’t give women a chance anymore, and you don’t think twice about it, so you basically turn yourself gay. Remember that being “gay” is a COMBINATION of nature AND nurture.
These were some of my observations as a bisexual. There is still much to be known about sexuality. Maybe the majority of people DO fall under the black/white spectrum, but we should always remember that there is definitely a grey portion of that spectrum as well. Those people who exist in the grey areas exist, and there IS proof. Now is all a matter of understanding. But I think that the closest that we are to understanding sexuality, is understanding that it’s both nature AND nurture that determine sexuality.
I guess I’m different. I am bi with a gf. I have always wondered what it would be like to be with a man. So one day I dared a friend to let me see his cock. He showed me and jokingly said you wanna touch it too. His jaw dropped when I said if I touch can I do more. To make a Lon story short when I orgasmed with him in me I had never experienced a feeling like that with a woman. So I was hooked. Also there is something that turns me on to no end when I’m on my back with my legs on a guys shoulders watching him slide in and out of me.
I am a 43 year old married man (to a woman). Used to have a good friend back in Jr. High who I used to swap oral with as well as Jack each other off. I topped him a few times as well. After we both got involved with girls, we still hung out but never brought up our times together nor did we act on them again. Over the last few years I’ve had a few guys give me some pretty damn good blow jobs, and I even had a mistress for a few years who allowed as well as enjoyed doing the things my wife wouldn’t. Which included sucking me, and letting me fuck her ass. My wife is a Jehovas Witness so that rules out a lot of things sexually including oral sex. Another thing my mistress did was shared my cum with me after oral, and I will admit I loved the taste of cum. As for the future, I want to find a good friend again and this time maybe bottom. So for all you haters……. Stop being so homophobic!!! For as much as I hate that word. Just be to yourself and leave the rest of us alone. Try it once and you might change your tune.
Anyone else remember the gay marriage hearings during the Clinton administration?
The Republicans derailed them almost instantly by saying that bisexuals would claim a constitutional right to polygamy, which would lead down a slippery slope to bestialists marrying their pets.
Set the cause back at least 10 years. Thanks, bisexuals.
Show me a bi guy in a primary relationship with a guy but having dl sex with a woman.
And wasn’t it the great karen walker who said that pansexuality is just a stop on the one-way road to homoville?
Marriage and sex are two different things. I like being married to my wife, but having sex with only her for the rest of my life is pretty limited. Likewise, I’ve got guys I really enjoy fucking, but I’d never want to marry them. Everybody makes different choices…don’t try to stuff it all in the monogamy box.
I just love how some men says ” i love my wife but, i love cocks too” i am not sure what sort of love that is ..it is for the same reason i tossed my ex away. claiming to love me but, yet wanted to invite a 3rd in our bed.. i had throw his clothes out in a bin bag and, tell him to” fuck off” love and sex is designed for 2 people and, 2 people only .. be it gay or straight …
I’m gay and friends with several married guys, married to women. I give them head when they need it. they tell me their wives don’t know how to suck dick and let’s face it guys, we all love to get sucked. They especially love when i deepthroat them and I always swallow them. They always come back!
Love married bottoms. Love the whimpers they make while being fucked and they’re always tight
Men married to women? They know how to be discrete and keep thwir traps shut! And their loads seem to taste better. Strange. On the other hand, they can be very angry and hostile.
My deceased partner was bi. He was attracted to both sexes equally. When he was married to a woman, he didn’t cheat. When she divorced him for another, he hooked up with me. Didn’t cheat.
His ex divorced her new partner, and over time, his ex-wife and I became best friends. When Brad died, she invited me to move in with her. I went to the monastery instead.
Some are into sex as a driving force in their life, and some aren’t. For some, an emotional commitment and attachment is the driving force in their life, for some it isn’t. Different strokes for different folks.
@ Hunter0500
How very true—all that you wrote.
@ Hilldweller5272 “Lusting is still lusting.”
Lest we forget President Jimmy Carter’s famous interview he gave in Playboy Magazine, speaking of himself, that he lusted in his heart after other women. Don’t know where he stood on lusting after men—Playboy didn’t cover that aspect! LOL
I’m sorry what goes through your minds when you cheat? Because all I’m reading is bullshit excuses so you guys won’t have a guilty conscience.
I’m HIV positive. I always discuss my status with ny partners but let me be clear married men. I’m an anomaly. You want to fuck around behind your wives back then go ahead and be the pigs that you are. But keep in mind that A LOT of hiv+ guys don’t give a fuck and if you catch anything boohoo tough cookies. You will pass your disease straight to your wives avid ruin lives.
Not just hiv+ people but a lot of people with stds.
As someone who was introduced to sex at an early age, yes it was an adult male, I didn’t understand the whole gay, bi, straight thing. Sex was just a fun thing to do that felt good. I am not attracted to men, could never kiss a guy, but do enjoy sex with men. I only have emotional/sexual relationships with females. But let’s be honest, how many Web sites/apps will get you another horny body in your hotel room within an hour of getting to your hotel room
A. This is a sex site. Yet this blog post has the stench of hypocrisy all over it.
B. For a community that wants to not be judged and accepted, you really are a tough crowd. It is LBGT. Not an exclusive club of unaccepting douches, who easily pass judgement and shame on someone who is not like them. Sound famliar? you don’t like bisexuals who are in a relationship then unplug from this SEX site and take your judgemental bullshit somewhere else. The only reason you know we are bi is because we told you. If you are looking for a relationship there are plenty of sites that are focused on making a real connection and not cock. So shut it and fuck me already.
Well here we go again. Yet another excuse for people to use for doing dirt to someone else (the wife). So who cares if she is being lied and cheated on right? Who cares if she or any kids they may have get hurt right? If you have an attraction to someone of the same sex then you either need to stay single, be up front at beginning of relationship, etc. DO NOT CHEAT AND PLAY DIRTY BEHIND YOUR SPOUSES BACK!How many time sin these blogs have we all read guys complain about having been cheated on by their exes and then we turn around and say its alright for a guy to cheat on his wife? That’s a bit hypocritical isn’t it? Why is it that everyone always finds a way to justify just how low down and dirty they are behaving?
I’m a little late to this topic but it does apply to me so I will share my two cents. I am 36 and never been married but I have been in several long term relationships with women. I have been mostly open with the last few about being bisexual and most of them have found it to be a turn on. Currently my live in girlfriend of four years is leaving me because she found out that I met up with a guy for sex. She and I had discussed this possibility before and she said that it was ok as long as she didn’t find out about it. She found out by going through my phone and reading my texts while I was sleeping. Turns out that she wasn’t as ok with it as she had lead me to believe. I blame myself because I didn’t come out as bi to her until we were well into the relationship. I should have been more open early on. I don’t even want to have sex with men very often. I’m good with sucking a dick once every few months honestly. My lack of honesty about who I am has lead to a lot of pain for everyone that I truly care about. I can not see myself ever having sex with someone that is cheating and I will never do that to another partner. Too many people will get hurt when the truth comes out.
I’m a gay man. I usually only hook up with bi men who are attached or married. the reason: gay men are way to judgemental. Bi men don’t have the same hang ups as the majority of gay men do (race, age, body type etc). Bi men want to meet up get off and keep it moving. Rarely do I have to worry about them getting attached. Even in the comments here you have guys making comments and judging bi men. I hope that most gay guys don’t like bi men, more for me haha.