Speak Out: Deliciously Disabled & Disrobed
(Photo credit: Alejandro Santiago Photography 2015)
Every time I see those obligatory bathroom shots of the really attractive guy posturing at his mirror in the hopes of enticing a part time lover for the evening, I let out a wee smirk of excitement and giggle. This is primarily for two reasons. First, I must admit, I love seeing people own their sexuality, and whenever someone has the stones (puns intended) to be that bold, it is a turn on of epic proportions. It’s like they’re saying, “this is who I am. Deal with it.” Confidence is one hell of an aphrodisiac in my books.
The second reason that I gleefully grin at these types of photos is because I am extremely envious of the ease with which they were taken, how simply the individual whipped off their clothes without a second thought, and took the picture. In a matter of 20 seconds, the guy is completely au naturel. He is baring all in the buff, independent of anyone else’s hands or help. What I would give for it to be that easy.
For the Deliciously Disabled, getting naked holds with it a few connotations, challenges and a level of connectedness that I want to expose for you all.
First of all, for me to take the same obligatory bathroom shot would take forever and a day. I remember one night when I was in college some years ago someone had asked me to send them a dick pic. Not being the least bit shy about unpacking all that I have to offer, I decided to oblige this individual. I looked down and realized that I had to try to figure out how to get my pants off. Unlike the mere seconds it would take my counterparts to perform this action, it took me almost two hours to push the pants down off of my body. At this point, I was red in the face and huffing and puffing (and not in the ways I wanted to be).
By the time I was done, I felt like I had won every Olympic race ever (I would especially get the gold in size – cough, cough). When I eventually sent the selfie to him, hoping that he would approve, he said the angles were weird, and could I take another one. If only he knew the struggle that I had just gone through to take this for him. Bah! There I was with my pants down, alone in the dorms unable to pull them back up on my own, hoping that no one came in right at that moment.
2. My Nudity reminds me that I am Different:There have been moments where I have looked in the mirror and lamented my “broken” body that looks back at me. My disability belly protrudes forward while my underdeveloped legs lead to my twisted toes that curl in on themselves. Then there is the gigantic scar from my spinal fusion surgery that goes from my shoulder blades to my bum. Each of these markers has, at times, served as reminders of everything I can never be, no matter how hard I try.
Okay, we could sit and wallow in this, but let’s rewind a minute, and explore that Deliciously Disabled body once more.
Imagine that you were lying next to me, tracing my body with your fingertips (it’s a great visual, so go ahead, take a minute). Here is what you would find: If you traced from my shoulder blades down my spine, instead of seeing the scars of a surgery long past, you would twist and turn down every curve of my body, the line acting like a roadmap to the treasure trove that is my seldom seen behind (which I have heard is fantastic). Move along across my smooth skin to my disability belly, which acts as the keeper of my emotions; it is there that I have kept every feeling for everyone I have ever liked. Then you will reach my legs. Once you put your hands on them, they open, spastically inviting you in. My feet are curled and my toes twisted, but that only adds to my originality. This, and you can say that you really did make my toes curl.
My body is indeed a wonderland, full of detours and diversions that everyone should dive on into.
3. I am Naked, I am Free: Each and every day, I am dressed and strapped into many different devices. I have a leg bag attached to me first thing in the morning to which my ‘manhood’ is secured. I am then dressed in clothes that I cannot remove myself, and that can sometimes feel tight and confining (imagine your pants being bunched all day). In them I try to look at presentable and passable as possible. They lock me into the normalcy that I constantly crave. Finally, I am strapped into my wheelchair – both my feet and my lap are belted in tight. Very rarely do I have the opportunity to revel in the purity, possibility and positivity that is the naked form. Typically, that is only reserved for showering or the bathroom. The nakedness is necessary, purposeful, and perfunctory.
The whole idea of walking around one’s apartment naked is luxurious, extremely appealing and is a fantasy that I often dream of. The reality of this would mean having to explain to my attendant why I wanted to do so, deconstructing my disrobing. It would then lose all of its appeal, and it would no longer be my moment as a man.
When I get to be naked, I am in touch with all that makes me whole. No straps, clamps or buttons that are just out of reach, denying me access to the sexiest parts of myself. No judgment. I am free. I am not what I should be or could be. I simply am. No apologies or abnormalities here.
When you look at the disabled dude in the nude, you could see vulnerability, disability and deformity. Your gaze could be one of disgust and fear, followed by the desire to leave. But, if you took a minute and looked just a little bit closer, you’d see that the one who is sitting before you is in fact, 32 flavours of Delicious Disability you have yet to sample.
Shall I get you a spoon?
Andrew Morrison-Gurza
(post from Positivelite.com)
After reading this I see a man of though and heart not a man who needs mechanical help with his daily life. A man who needs the help of a caring man to help him enjoy his life a little beyond his current world. Andrew you definitely would not be the first man I have known and dated who is handycapable. I see a man for his heart and thought over his physical form. I am a man who sees everyone as the HUMAN race rather then races of color.
Michael BJK
Well written piece. Vivid descriptions and great insight into the life of a truly deliciously disabled dude. The actions and things we all take for granted is astounding at times. Thanks for the reminder.
I can Understand where you are coming from as I have had some very wild and grand pleasure with guys that are disabled and unable to do much for themself that’s why it gave me major please to give please to some one that need help .
You would not believe how much they got out of the pleasure to know that someone was truly interested in there pleasure and it was great fun to undress him and the amount of excitement that it gave both of us So I would do it again you just never know what the pleasures are till you go there
Thank you for this store it brought back some great pleasurable memory s
Jay
Thank you for sharing your story. I am truly moved….you are an inspiration to us all. Bless you!
Thank you for this
I have a family member who is disabled
again….Thank you
all of us are complicated deep feeling human beings
I have been with disabled guys who are hot and fun and sexy and warm and loving. I have been with disabled guys who are selfish and nasty and mean and boring. And I can say the same about non disabled guys. It really comes down to the guy–and then to chemistry. It’s sad that so many guys make assumptions about the sexuality of disabled men and women–and, at the risk of sounding like I am exoticizing disabled men, it is the case that variety and difference can simply be a turn-on. If all men were the same, how tedious and repetitive sex would be!
One of the most honest real things I have seen! Disabled people are often cast aside in society and the Gay community can be very cruel if you are not meeting unrealistic expectations, add disability to the mix and there is a level of loneliness an isolation that is needlessly created. Our community needs to learn self love and cast aside petty judgments–We claim to want equality and acceptance but sometimes it scares me to see how little of that we give back.
This is beautifully written,the next time I’m alone walking around naked I will think of this,and wish the same for you bud!
You seem to be a well adjusted, intelligent man – good looking too. I’ve never let physical characteristics get in the way of who I’m attracted to. We ALL have physical characteristics that we would like to change, some more than we have the ability to change. I have scars from a motorcycle accident that some men found attractive, they make up who I am. Granted, I don’t have physical issues that would prevent me from doing anything I’d like. I’ve had some major crushes on men that used crutches, in wheelchairs (some without all appendages intact), deaf, or blind. I’ve rarely had the courage to pursue them as lovers, but this also includes men who have no visible inadequacies. Much depends on how you express yourself intimately. Some men with all limbs, are terrible lovers. Thanks for putting yourself out there in this forum. You’re far more human and whole than many men.
I worked with a variety of disabled children in my career. I have always felt that they should have the right to satisfying sex when they became adults. In grad school, an understanding Ph.D OT told of assisting a severely disabled couple on their wedding night. You need to find an assistant who is willing to help you like that. You have the right to have good sex.
I sure wouldn’t mind playing with you or any disabled guy. Hope you can find a way to fulfill your sex life!
thanks Dave for a new perspective..this story should be a reflection to all who read ever reminding us just how fragile our life is and how thankful we should be…even disabled gay men laugh ,love, live..thanks again !
Andrew, You have the kind of balls that is so attractive and sexy to me! You Rock! Can I have a spoon?
I have a spinal fusion T4-L4. Really touches my heart.
That has to be one of the most beautiful things I have read. Your naked body is a thing of beauty. You have to be more than 32 flavors….and a spoon would not be enough. Being a person who spent many years working with individuals in wheel chairs and other devices, I know that freedom moments you long for. That time when a slight smile from you as you are taken from the chair lets the care giver know that you feel free from all constraints. Be free, be naked, be sexy.
Thanks for writing and posting this. It’s a moving, thought provoking piece written from a perspective that I think most of us have never considered.
Bravo!!!
Don’t really know Why but I’m incredibly attracted to disabled guys or guys that are not cute or “perfect”. It’s hard to meet them and I’m not super sophisticated in approaching people so I guess you could saw I feel like I have something in common with people not perfect since in some way I’m not either. Haven’t ever done anything with someone disabled. Have fooled around with a few dorks and was really turned on with the tentativeness. Not sure this makes sense but just saying I think disabled guys are hot not just because of the disability but by their attitude that comes along with their life experience.
Love your article! And, yes, hand a spoon.
Am amazing guy if you ask me.
Beautiful, brave, and loving story.
As well as being beautiful, your writing skills are fantastic and sexy. I have two gay “disabled” friends and they are the most wonderful attestments to triumph and beauty…inside and out. It took me many years to convince them of this as society is brutal to anyone that frightens them as they think…what if that was me? Be real men..it could have been and still could be. They are real, beautiful and inspirational to me. It is the vast populas of gay mentality that drives the pain even deeper. You Andrew, are beautiful, inside and out. Michael
That, is a brilliantly written piece. I’m thinking of your naked body ad I get undressed for bed. Cheers!
Every body is beautiful. As long as you accept yourself completely, people will be attractive to your beauty naturally. This is what I believe. For me, I don’t care a gay man, who is disabled, being my friend, my family or further relationship.
Hi,
This is a great article and you are a very handsome and brave guy.
(I definitely would like to see “more” of you.
Chuck
I actually with there was porn with deliciously disabled people I’ve seen 1 video with a. Amputee man getting a hand job
I actually with there was porn with deliciously disabled people I’ve seen 1 video with an Amputee man getting a hand job
This is why stem cell research should really be considered for fixing people.
Great article.
I think disabled guys are hot. I had a crush in college on a guy in a wheelchair. Unfortunately he was straight and every other girl was all over him. By the way, you are a very cute guy!
Bravo! I appreciate that this site is attempting to present novel blogs and ideas.
Also, thank you Andrew for presenting YOUR reality here. It is great to see a new aspect of the diversity we represent in this microcosm. IT IS NOT A DIS(ability), as I enjoy your wallowings in the unexpected beauty of your ‘differently-abled’ form. What an amazing paradox you create; you are a terrific writer — your words, ideas, and photos create a beautiful dichotomy. Thanks for toying with the connotation of HOT. So much hotter to read the musings of an intelligent man, than to simply view the overworked form of a shallow one 😉
This is a refreshing change to the normal things posted. It’s nice to see a man who doesn’t have the “perfect” body own his sexuality. This can be inspiring to many who have self esteem issues. And yes, he is sexy!!!
I had a cousin who was paralyzed from the waist down. He was totally buff and cut from years of using crutches but his legs were underdeveloped. However his dick was perfect. A large 9″ cut that was always rock hard. He actually turned me out when we were young. He was also a brother who had many girlfriends and with that big ass dick you know why. Disabled people are just normal folk trapped in a somewhat malfunctioning bidy
I’m not at all disabled, but I experienced something of what you are talking about when I met and hooked up with a guy who had a similar disability last year. His picture showed an attractive face and we hit it off very well after several days of texting. We had developed some real chemistry during the texting and were clearly up for sex with each other. He was a bottom and clearly wanted to be topped. He had disclosed that he had muscular dis trophy, was in a wheelchair and would need assistance. I showed up at his place and sat down. It was obvious from the start that he was more disabled than I had realized… Including a tracheostomy and respirator… His physical characteristics were as you described in your blog… Including the belly, legs and feet. Not exactly attractive to someone who’s not used to it.
To make a long story short, I went through with it… We had sex… I topped
him… We both came… We both had a nice experience. didn’t do it as pity sex, I’m not desperate and I didn’t get off on taking advantage of someone. For a fleeting moment I had thought about excusing myself. But I decided to go through with it out of compassion. He clearly wanted it. He probably doesn’t get it very often. They say that the most important sex organ is the mind… And indeed he had a very sexy mind. In hindsight I wished he had disclosed more about the extent of his disability so that I had more information about what to expect. But I have experienced what the blogger is saying about how what the rest of us take for granted can be an ordeal for the disabled and wheelchair bound and I’m glad I was able to bring some joy and pleasure to Joseph that evening.
Andrew, do you realize that, with words, you have inadvertently described the actual essence of sexual union and sexuality: desire, self-awareness, vulnerability, trust, exposure, acute interest in the perfections and imperfections of the intimate details of the unhidden, unhindered body, the ardent effort of offering, the risk of rejection of the well-considered and deliberately offered gift, the full and open presence for the one before whom you tender it, the expectation that he will explore and accept the totality of form, and the gamut of emotions, from hope to fear, that underly the exposure of soul and psyche along with the once-hidden fullness of skin and life laid bare. How deliberately must you strive for that offering, a compliment to him even more than a seeking from him; a giving before a taking, an answer to draw a question, a strivation that trusts an open acceptance, a flaunting of beauty past the flaws that frame it, and without which, would be mundane and unimpressive, for it would be merely glib and perfunctory, emotionless motion, not the strenuously sincere offering worthy of the effort for the presentation. Who could coldly reject or carelessly, selfishly, blindly use that, but one who was unworthy of so profound a tendered gift? You have opened our eyes and our hearts, to take not for granted, the ease with which we do what we do with what we do not truly appreciate possessing. You have made us cherish our own, as we did not, by cherishing yours, as we had not. Thank you!
Upon reading this article I am saddened to see that not anyone else thought to leave a comment. So the person is disabled, but does that mean he is unworthy of love and affection? He is human after all. But just like the other various kinds of biases, people often express a disdain towards anything that they consider out of the “norm.” The man in the article expressed his wanting to be “free.” I my opinion, part of his wanting to be naked isn’t just the idea of being nude but rather to be accepted as a whole person and not a imposed disability that many want to label him with. I have dated someone who has a muscle wasting disorder,but I can see beyond that because he’s a great person first. We waste time trying to find perfection rather than getting to know a person beyond looks,penis size or other physical attributes that fades in time.
Thank you for sharing that. I think that took a lot of courage to write, but you did it with such finesse.
I have been processing my disabilities and how they will align with my desires. Trying to recognize my limitations and then trying to realize if I am imposing them or if it is a reality. Then trying to decipher how others will react.
I appreciate the strength it took you to expose yourself (pun intended).
Grammatical error. Should have said: an imposed disability.
I am so proud of all the men that commented on this post. So many gay men are so hung up on appearances that they can’t see the beauty of someone with a disablilty. To you Andrew….thank you for your bravery and honesty, to all that took the time to comment….thank you for your bravery and honesty.
Oh and I stand corrected. Many have posted a comment here! My mistake. System must be slow with the postings.
RedScorpion4700 : I sleep at night…And I have to read and approve all comments…Because some guys are not respectful or post ads. That’s why every comment is now moderated.
I would like to start out by thanking you for a great article.
I am a polio survivor which affected my left Hip, leg (thinner do to muscle atrophy) and foot. Thanks to 22 different surgeries I am able to walk with a slight limp other than this I’m able bodied (everything else works :-).
As you can visualize 22 surgical scares has left that side of my body with the evidence of the doctors efforts to help me walk. When I became sexually active the see the largest of incision scare (which runs from my back to my pelvis in an angle) as I’d remove my shirt and that would end that.
The straw with broke the camels back was when I over heard a young woman (whom I was heard over heals for) described me to a couple of her family members as “A cross between Quasimodo, Cyrano de Bergerac and Adam (Frankenstein’s Creation)”.
And sad to write the this community is no different. Instead of embracing the differences in the loving arms of acceptance. I have found the attitude in gay world is as in the straight. When I’ve looked into the eyes of the couple of men I’ve been with to only see the look of disgust at my deformity and my disability, followed by the strong desire to get it over with.
To Echo Andrew closing paragraph…
“…if you took a minute and looked just a little bit closer, you’d see that the one who is sitting before you is in fact, 32 flavor’s of Delicious Disability you have yet to sample.”
Thank you Andrew for a great topic. – A Gentleman
Whether it’s accepted now or not, we’re living in times where people are becoming more integrated with machines. There will be no room for haters.
To the Blog: No offense taken. I’d just hoped the gentleman’s post was replied to.
If you would like to play around lets try and make that happen 🙂
I have had intimate relations with a man in a wheel chair… I was much younger back then and I thought he was hot, and he was an accomplished wheelchair dancer, out going and just looking for a little touch, but I must have done something wrong or said something stupid which I was notorious for in my youth..Nothing worse then a bigoted fag is what I was told. Anyway while we both got off what seemed like easy and great sex considering all he never spoke to me again:~{ Years later I encounter a guy in our local book store in a wheel chair that is incredibly handsome and he just wanted his hot cock sucked off and I was happy to oblige him… It does shock me when young people simple say ewe gross… They have no clue the opportunity of lasting love or good hot quick sex they may be missing with a great person:~]
this man is a true inspiration
Yes I related to this am some what disabled, large, big breast that turn on a lot of men, I get spooned and I get
something with the spooning. When I walk around with the aid of a walker I am not hot, but than I see a lot of nude
men who are not hot neither, if not for their package they have flaws.
I can relate too well with this.
OH MY GOSH! This story made me SO SO Horny. It is my ultimate fantasy to do it with a disabled guy. I missed out on the chance about twenty years ago. Rock on dude!
This piece was beautifully written. Thank you for sharing!
I have night blindess and I can’t drive its so hard life I can’t go to gaybar at night or meet someone at night its hard life to me
I once dated a guy with no legs below the knee. He was a great guy. Smart adorably cute and a real sweetheart. He was actually alot hotter than alot of guys with their legs.
Andrew, great article, you are adorable. I myself am dusabled from a drunk driver. I now can getvaround , but if I saw you in person; I would be all ovef you. The eyes make the person, and your eyes tell a story. Just wanted yo shsre with you . Thanks
What a powerful piece of literature. Thank you for sharing.
Great article and promotes what needs to be heard by folks across the spectrum of human sexuality. I have dated a couple of disabled persons in my lifetime. Great people, and not unlike us all, have their ups and downs too. As with all things, life changes occur, and we move on. Happy to know our times together are great memories. Sex was good, but the friendship and loving gestures were definitely of high quality.